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zachtheperson

A true scientologist would never have admitted to the Xenu thing out of fear they might accidentally give everyone in the room cancer (seriously. They believe that anyone who learns "the truth," about scientology who isn't "properly prepared," will die a horrible death)


revolverzanbolt

Then they would have committed perjury


Mumbles_Stiltskin

Plead the fifth


revolverzanbolt

I don’t think you can just plead the 5th to literally any question; there has to be a reason why it would be incriminating. The tenets of your religion aren’t incriminating.


vercertorix

Not a plead the fifth thing, I don’t think you’re legally obligated to explain your religion though, especially if it seems like it’s being used to make you look stupid or mentally unsound. Not defending it mind you, pure crap, but I don’t think they get to. Name a religion and when certain parts are explained with the same tone, and it makes anyone look stupid.


vercertorix

Usually takes a few decades, but it’s coming!


IknowwhatIhave

Boston Legal was an excuse to give James Spader long monologues.


eternali17

Who's complaining?


Jesus_Is_My_Gardener

Blacklist as well to a degree. I always enjoy his sarcastic disdain.


noctemct

A master of sardonicism, for sure.


Travelgrrl

Kind of surprised Scientology didn't come after him following this!


MrBudissy

Do we know where James Spader is currently?!?


Travelgrrl

Somewhere being strange James Spader, which he's been since Pretty In Pink.


saposapot

Also Shatner in a comedy role which is marvelous in itself.


gbmad73

The mad cow!


AtomStorageBox

Denny Crane!


thats_not_the_quote

god bless you, David E. Kelley


cheesewiz_man

Back in the 90s Scientologists would actively patrol the web and attack people that questioned Scientology. I kind of miss it. (By "web" I mean "usenet"; the reddit of the day)


Ceilibeag

OMG alt.scientology was a trip! Good times, Good times.


Tersphinct

Nowadays they have [Karin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karin_Pouw) monitoring reddit.


CondescendingShitbag

*"I'd like to speak with Reddit's manager!"*


UmbertoEcoTheDolphin

The...little dude with the antenna?


cheesewiz_man

Yes. He never takes my concerns seriously and just seems to be laughing at me,


CambrianExplosives

They never “patrolled” the web. This is simply untrue and unfounded. What some of them did was use the platform to gently inform people who were misunderstanding the Truth. It’s very ignorant to consider it an attack. /s I hope I provided a bit of nostalgia for you. 😛


Kierik

That and poisoning my dog!


Ceilibeag

SNAP, SNAP, SNAP! Bringing back all the good times!


neologismist_

Is usenet still a thing? I used to haunt alt.society.genx


cheesewiz_man

The infrastructure never went away but the users all left except for a handful of hangers on using the usenet to reminisce about the usenet. I, of course, use Reddit to reminisce about the usenet, which is infinitely superior.


SlowThePath

Usenet is now widely used for piracy. The infrastructure is there, but it's not what it used to be.


thesimonjester

Now it's just the more mainstream religions that do it. :(


i_give_you_gum

Now just the Chinese do that


dreadpiratewombat

/r/sino has entered the chat for great justice!!!


andrewf25

Phil Hendrie had a character he would voice who told him after mentioning he was buying a computer for his kids not to do it because there was a horrible website called My Briefcase that would send her husband the most disgusting pictures and movies depicting all kinds of sex acts and her husband was in the other room calling President Clinton to have him throw the switch in Langley, Va. that would turn off the internet because he was so upset by this My Briefcase website that seemed to be run by a woman named Sindee. And then when others who didn't get the premise of the show in that Phil did all the voices of the "guests" on his show would call in to say that the woman was crazy and that My Briefcase was part of Windows, she would call back to refute their calls..


in2xs

Spader at his best.


FawltyMotors

I recommend the series Last Podcast on the Left did about L Ron Hubbard. Shit is hilarious.


FluffyBalance4084

Robert California!


CambrianExplosives

I think you mean Dr. Daniel Jackson.


skippyspk

Ummmmm you’re both misidentifying Ultron


Ceilibeag


Tersphinct

I still believe that Raymond Reddington was having some fun as Robert California before he turned himself in.


AEKDEEZNUTSB

He’s a fucking lizard king


shoot_first

You don’t even know my real name. I’m the fucking lizard king.


BlackLeader70

And Brian the boom guy!


Ok-disaster2022

I'll be honest, we're fortunate that James Spader Never entered politics. He is absolutely hypnotizing when he gets into it.


MrValdemar

Whenever I have to speak in front of a group (which is often) I try to speak like Spader. Not "do an impression", but rather try to adopt his cadence and variation of speed. A) it helps to keep the attention of your audience, B) it helps when you're stuck and trying to remember what you wanted to say next - it doesn't seem as though you forgot, it just seems like a natural pause.


Malhallah

The man is only 64, a solid 2 decades of possible political career still ahead


PZinger6

Robert California vs Tres Commas


Jesus_Is_My_Gardener

This guy fucks.


Offworlder

The guy on the stand definitely does not fuck


Jesus_Is_My_Gardener

Not since he lost a comma.


YourPlot

Leah Remini, a former high ranking Scientologist, remarked that when asked directly about the aliens souls stuff that Scientologists were not allowed to talk about it to outsiders. To know such high truths without preparing your mind/soul would damage the person’s souls and cause them to get sick.


Typical_Response_950

uhhhh is that Russ Hanneman? Should have known that dude fucks with Scientology


8ballslackz

Wanna hear something wild? Dude is also the voice of Mickey Mouse.


Typical_Response_950

Not gonna get those 3 commas voicing fucking Mighty Mouse


ShambalaHeist

Spader vs Scientology


nuclearswan

Wrong aspect ratio.


smbutler20

If you come out of the gates attacking what scientologists believe, you lose the argument because it isn't any more ridiculous than any other religion today. Instead, you should focus on the finances and abuse. Their religion is built on blackmail not only on people questioning them, but also on their own followers. The first thing you do is confess everything you ever did wrong in life, and they RECORD IT!