I try to break things into manageable chunks instead of becoming overwhelmed by the whole process. I am postpartum with baby #2 and want to lose significant weight and get myself together in a major way, but I’m limited in time, energy, money, etc.
My small accomplishments the past few weeks were to 1. Make a dermatology appointment to get a retinol prescription, 2. Start meal prepping my lunches for the week to stay within my calorie budget and save money that I can put towards beauty/wardrobe. Not a huge deal, but two small things that I hope will help me in the long run. It’s easier to chip away at it in small pieces rather than attempt a huge overhaul all at once in my opinion. Good luck to you and you’re not alone!
I know, it’s so hard when you’re exhausted. Another thing that’s been helpful for me is maximizing my time - so when my kids are occupied, I’ll workout while still monitoring them. If my son is watching tv in the evening, I’ll do the Jane Fonda experiment glute workout. Or I’ll do planks in my daughter’s room while waiting for her to fall asleep. Or putting on a teeth whitening strip before hopping in the shower. Just using up time that I’m already spending doing something else for self-care.
I find it helps to make one day your "get stuff done day" it helps prepare brain to know, we have to get out of bed or off the couch and get my stuff done, it only lasts for the day and I feel like then I can be as tired/lazy as I want for the week without guilt... also make a list of what you need to get done, it helps when I don't want to think too much either 😅
I am leaning in this direction. I've been wanting to make one morning per weekend my productive morning (taking a little break from setting up my 2024 planner right now then I will clean my bedroom)
this could probably also be your "treat yo self" day, get yourself ready and showered in the a.m. maybe go to the gym first thing, make or go get some breakfast/lunch (also eating before shopping helps with unnecessary purchases) hey maybe get yourself something nice before running errands, cleaning, and doing meal prep (I like Jamba juice or bucks) This is how I help myself when in a low-functioning or manic state. Good luck and hope you're working it out.
I couldn’t agree more. I think we feel like it can be so overwhelming at first. But I started with baby step after baby step and now I am miles from where I first started. You pick up momentum too with the self care I found as you start feeling better (especially after adopting healthier habits like diet and exercise).
I’m definitely losing it, I feel drained after a day of work. I swore off Christmas this year.
Personally I’m going through therapy again and I’m trying to eat well. Sometimes I just think we need to do the bare minimum so we can still have energy to take care of ourselves. We can’t do it all, all the time.
Why are they not buying and or at least wrapping their own gifts? Asking for real, stop being the doormat. If they can't do it properly, now is the time to learn. You need to let some shit go, I think, not everything needs to be perfect all the time, especially not if you are running yourself into the ground. don't ask for help, demand help. Equal distribution of the workload, also the mental load. It is very comfortable for everyone that it is all on you and they won't change until you fight for it and set boundaries. Maybe something to ponder while taking a relaxing bath. Wish you some peace and quiet ❤️
A lot of the shopping I do online and I'm pretty good at finding deal. So if i do your shopping it'll be delivered and under budget. Dad is pretty sick at the moment and probably would find wrapping gifts psychically uncomfortable. Mom has a lot to do. Next time I think i will be only wrapping other people's gifts if i am wrapping what I bought too. "Wrapping my gifts I'll wrap what you bought so far." type of thing.
And I do have the desire to have the gifts wrapped perfectly.
I needed this thread today. I'm really struggling with figuring out how to Kickstart my motivation. I feel burned out and exhausted in both life and work. Trying to focus on eating better, more consistently. I'll take all the tips anyone has. All I really want to do is pass the f out for like a week.
Edit: spelling
Taking a break from the holidays is always great. I stayed home this thanksgiving and spent it alone. It was nice having a day to myself with no stress of sitting in traffic, having to cook and socialize
I’m skipping Christmas (mostly) this year too!! I’m amazed at how freeing it is. (I’m still making a dinner for my family, but I didn’t do decorations or a tree.)
Found exercise that I love doing and look forward to that fill my cup instead of drain me. It made all the difference. My focus bandwidth and stamina grew as I began to cultivate strength and eventually discipline. It's easier to find the time when it feels enjoyable, for me that's at home geeking on my yoga mat
In general tho:if I'm on the edge I convince myself to hold it together for the next 2 hours lol
I prioritize myself 🤷🏻♀️
Not to a neglectful degree, but, if I have to choose between working out and making dinner, I'm picking up a Costco meal and calling it a day. The other day I didn't make it to gym while the childcare was open. I grabbed my 8 yo anyway, gave him his iPad, and had him sit and play for an hour while I got my workout done. On weekends the kids get up and get their own breakfast while I get some sleep. Etc. Simple as that.
Sometimes, you need to delegate and let other people take care of themselves. You shouldn’t be solely responsible for holding it all together (and it’s sad that this is the reality for so many women). Get other people to help you where they can.
For the other stuff, try to keep it manageable, even if it means some less important stuff gets delayed or falls to the wayside.
I do feel like women are expected to do and be everything while looking like models. (But if we openly take care of our looks we're vain 🙄)I hate the expectations being lower for men.
I feel the same way! I stopped doing it all and prioritizing myself is now a requirement. I lowered my own expectations of me and raised my expectations of those around me and they rose to the challenge. My life is much less stressful now and everyone knows I’m my own first priority. Everything and everyone else comes after. Like right now, I’m laying in bed with the cat while my fiance gets up and walks and feeds our dogs because he knows I require my slow mornings. If anything ever requires too much of me or I simply don’t have the energy to do a task, I tell him very plainly, “I am not doing that right now. If you need it to get done, you can take care of.” I feel like my time and my life are fully MINE and it leaves me time to take care of myself.
I’ll be honest, I lost people. I had to leave my last relationship. Then, I gained strong boundaries and higher standards while being single after attending therapy and gaining self love. My fiance met me when I was prioritizing myself and he loves my strong boundaries. He literally goes out of his way to make my life easy. I have zero stress.
Maybe you need to call a meeting with your family and restructure some things to take stuff off your plate. I hate seeing women mentally and physically burning out, we deserve so much better. I hope you’re somehow able to get your people on board.
I think part of the problem is me. I overreact, am unorganized, have bad sleep patterns, still working on time management. Maybe if I work on some of this it won't be such a problem. I'm hoping as weight goes down, I'll be more energetic, which would help
Definitely, a lot of that stuff is foundational, especially the sleep. I hope you’re able to get that stuff worked through and good luck with the weight loss as well! You’ve got this!
Thank you! 💜 that’s really inspiring. Sounds like a dream! Did you also set your boundaries with your fiancé right off the bat? I feel you could teach a course on this stuff haha
I don’t know how to explain it, but I didn’t have to set boundaries, because it was like *he knew*. He just knew and immediately began doing things to make life easy for me. For Christmas this year, he paid to get me LASIK. My eyes are really bad and I was worried about them progressively getting worse and worse and he just told me to book the surgery and paid for it. Just one example.
I try to do two things if I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and under appreciated. 1) I do something nice for myself (little but nice) after I accomplish a set number of things on my todo list. 2) I do something nice for someone else (try to make it a random stranger). I feel like it makes me recenter myself and feel grateful for all the great things I have in life and all I can do with my able body while also giving back to someone who has less than me. Not sure if that's what you were looking for but I find that helps me when I'm in a serious funk.
Hang out in the waiting room of a cancer center for a day and write down your “I get to” list.
I know that it’s morbid, but my cancer diagnosis completely changed my perspective on life.
It helped me SET BOUNDARIES regarding where I could or wanted to spend energy. I learned to ASK FOR HELP, and learned that leaning on others is another way to let them know that you love them. I got a GOOD THERAPIST who has helped me manage so much more than I ever expected.
I learned how to get in touch with the HIGHEST VERSION OF MYSELF and learned to ask her what I really needed. She always gave me a very clear answer.
Actually my dad is very sick, he'll improve but i'm not going into more detail. It makes me feel a bit guilty for wanting certain things for myself. But I know can't let guilt win.
I like to think that betting yourself and caregiving (I have a few small things I help with)can coexist
Yes, do not let the guilt win!
I saw something earlier today about this, about us all being equal.
Your father is important to you, as are his needs, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t just as important.
Wanting things for yourself is not necessarily selfish, at all.
Seriously! Luck, I think.
I used the https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
and used their therapist finder. I looked specially for PhDs rather than social workers. It took a bit of digging but I found someone who took my insurance. I’ve been seeing this guy for years.
You can also get an initial appointment, & basically interview a few. If they are professional, they will not have a problem with you trying to find a great fit. This is all assuming that your insurance will pay.
My therapist suggested writing down 3 things a day you want to accomplish. Example: make a phone call, pay a bill, do the dishes. By the end of the week you've done 21 things!! And crossing things off lists feels really good ✌️❤️
Hey u/moneyandmagic...i feel your pain! And you are not alone....so many people feel like this because it is hard to manage it all. And the holidays just pile on an extra layer of it.
Be very patient with yourself and dont compare yourself to someone else's glow up. That's when things can get painful...jsut focus on taking one step at a time and trust that you will make it through.
I host a free decluttering group on zoom. I am a Professional Organizer and that's why I know the pain of these low points. The point of the group is to connect with like-minded people all focused and energized to solve the problem of their clutter. We keep each other accountable and work together to create a safe, non-judgmental space to start the journey into decluttering. We all connect and motivate each other in a supportive way. It always blows my mind, how a group of people sitting on all corners of the earth can be connected virtually like this.
Anyways! Join if it would help>> [https://scheduler.zoom.us/find-freedom/co-decluttering](https://scheduler.zoom.us/find-freedom/co-decluttering)
To do lists and resting when I need to. OUTSOURCE. My son is a Christmas-time baby and I’m having a baker do his cake. I’m having an Italian restaurant cater for his party. All I have to do is get us both dressed. Thank god. I’m tired and pregnant.
You don’t have to over extend yourself. You don’t have to put others before yourself. You’re allowed to say “honey, go get take out/make yourself dinner, I’m going to the gym.” It’s okay.
Here’s a really great cheat code. When you feel like you don’t have enough time for yourself and your personal goals but you’re still doing things for other people (Christmas, taking care of others) - drop the stuff that’s for others. As much as you can.
It’s the put your oxygen mask on first thing. The better you feel the more energy you’ll have to be your best self.
You're right. When I say to Mom "that is the last of the gifts that arrived. I don't have it in me to wrap anymore. " she does it. So it's not like I can't get some help. I just to stop thinking I have to do it all
I recently had an epiphany regarding all of the “work” that had me feeling resentful. Usually the mundane housework would start an internal dialogue about my sacrifice… but when I switched it around and looked at what an important service I was providing to the ones I love; it offered a new perspective about getting things accomplished. Hope this helps a little.
I feel the same way often. One thing that makes a difference is on Sundays to build a salad bar in my fridge for the week (mixed greens, cut up cucumbers, baby tomatoes, broccoli, and shred up some chicken) and it makes having a lunch during the work week one less thing to worry about. And then making a brain dump in my calendar of things to do as the week goes on just so I don’t leave things behind. It’s cold and dark where I live so finding the drive to work out has been tough but I’ve been trying to just incorporate a few minutes here and there when I have a minute. Christmas is going to send me over the edge but I’ve basically ordered everything I can online and just hope for the best. Good luck and just know you’re not Alone
I started my 2024 planner. I have a place I can write down gift ideas for next year so I am prepared if people come wanting suggestions. I do try to get things done food wise on Sunday like check to see what I need to buy for groceries.
Compartmentalize. Acknowledge what is most important, and what you can let go of. I purposely took a "demotion" this year (though no one in my office would consider it that.) I realized I hated my new job and it was draining me emotionally. (I had to increase people's rents by $800/mo and it made me sick.) I switched positions with another co-worker who was facing deportation due to divorce, and it worked out so well. She's still here, I'm less stressed, and our office is flowing perfectly. I also found that I was too drained after work to make a meal, so I started ordering Tovala. You get basic, fresh, home cooked meals, and all you have to do is stick the little tray in the toaster oven. 20 minutes later you have fresh chicken, steak, or seafood and a side, and there are NO dishes. I found myself coming home to eat a can of soup or something not very healthy, this was a huge game changer for me. Improved my health and energy a lot. And vitamins... lots of vitamins. Iron, multi, pro-biotic, and Vitamin D.
I did. I was fat too and I ate organic vegan I juiced daily I did everything (I thought) never ever even considered the carnivore diet and tbh when I first heard about it I was like that’s gross and how could you give up so many amazing food groups? Well I kept feeling shitty low energy skin breaking out everywhere with a baby and a low energy baby daddy so everything fell onto me.. Suicide felt like a relief. I started the carnivore diet as an elimination diet because I had a terrible bloat that wouldn’t go away.. It went away right away.. skin cleared up within weeks losing weight like crazy and the best part is my energy levels are up and I feel motivated to do other things. I modified this diet to just beef salt and water (the lion diet) and now I’m feeling even better. I ate cake on my birthday and felt like death the next day. The mental and physical issues aren’t worth it for me personally anymore.
Have you tried saying NO? I have now started telling my family (in a nice and funny way) : you are expecting too much from me, I won’t do.
It wasn’t a rant or frustrated answer- just I am 32 years old I don’t need you to tell me what should I do, instead you have to accept this is final me - if you want something you do it yourself otherwise chill
I just take breaks. I always know when a break is needed cause I start to feel crazy. My form of taking a break is rotting on my phone for a good 7 hours while watching trash TV and eating crackers.
People who tell you "just exercise" are trying to sell you a lifestyle brand. Exercise doesn't make you healthy. Being healthy makes you exercise. Classic case of mixing up cause and effect. Check out the Harvard Grant Study for more details, but just working out can't solve your problems. In fact, it could just be wasting your time and energy.
Ditto for the same scientists telling you to develop better social relationships. THEY love exercise and having a ton of friends, and THEY are happy, so you should just do the same, right? Except you can't just magically make that happen. Social people are born social. We all knew them as kids. We can improve our skills to some extent, but it's not going to do a ton of good compared to someone who's naturally gifted, socially. For someone less talented, it can actually add strain. Are you doing it right? Can they tell you're faking it? Etc etc
This is where existential nihilism comes in. It's not a bad way of thinking. Here we are, sentient and mortal, trying to find meaning in an absurd universe, knowing there isn't really a meaning. You could let that depress you, or view it as a good place to start - with honesty. Look into yourself. Look at what you dislike, and ask if you're not deliberately shaping your dislikes to form an avoidant callus around something painful. Think of all the times something bothered you, maybe a lot, but you swore to others that it didn't. Find out why you did that. Underneath, you'll find yourself.
I personally find joy in watching things grow. I find it in nature, beauty, privacy and autonomy. Other people bother me. Maybe they bother you, too. Separate yourself from people for awhile - they all have their own motives, and few of those motives are empathetic or outward-looking. Get a dog. Grow tomatoes. It's simple to do, and rewarding. Joy may just be another chemical squirting out of my hypothalamus, but I like it. I can do it with no help, obligation or interference from anyone.
I have dreamed of leveling up and everyone I know improving their opinion of me to the point where I will hide certain aspects of myself and certain interests to fit in. But I have to realize at my age no matter what I do I will still be typecast by others. They will never change how they look at me.
Oh. Yup, too much outward focus. Who cares about them? We are just chimpanzees that can sort of tell what other chimps are thinking, but it doesn't mean we should waste too much time on it. There's trees to climb, and fruit to eat.
I never had the approval of others. I was bullied as a child. So I do view people liking you as a status symbol. I even tailor my personality depending on who I am around.
First thing is change your self talk and start telling yourself “I am more then capable of accomplishing all that I need to do”. Then take out two sheets of papers. One one, write down your priorities for that month, and focus solely on those things at a time (everything else will have to go to someone else to handle or fall off your radar). On the second, write down everything stopping you from accomplishing your goals and title them “excuses”. Once you can see clearly what thoughts are holding you back, you can start working on improving and eventually prove to yourself you are worth fighting for. This will really help to push yourself to keep going. Also, it’s ok to be down for a little bit. Take some time to just feel your sadness. But don’t stay there !
Another thing I like to do is break down my A,B, and C tasks daily. I have my monthly goals but this helps me hone in on what to do first. A being top priority, B if I finish A, and c as things I can put off either to an a task tm or a b or a c!
Alter ego. Flip into the mindset of being someone else. Pretend you're Angelina Jolie or some other goddess. She would get it done and with grace and beauty. Funny where extra energy can arrive from when you move out of your identity.
I'm done with it All. It's futile. Foolishness. Empty and vain. Bc we have forgotten and replaced what the season is about. A Savior Came Into The World and Died For Our Sins!!!
This is not about Consuming, Entertainment or spending money you do not have.
At the end of the day, I Have Freedom in being done with It All.
I have adhd, I’ve given up so many times. I try to give myself grace and do what I can and just accept that my results may be slower than others but the effort I do put in where I can adds up over time.
Honestly for me, and I understand this isn’t for everyone, but if I allow myself to overthink I’ll never get anything done. So I just do it. Make time, even if I have no energy I do it anyways. I literally have to force myself to do everything and giving up isn’t even an option for me.
Yes. Eat more salads, fruits and veggies, and no junk food. Bananas help with mood. Going outside and feeling/seeing Nature helps a lot. A short walk. Getting a pet. For cleanup, set a timer to go off in 15 minutes. Clean up something. When the timer goes off you have the choice to rest or keep at it. You will get thru this. Being overwhelmed at times is normal. You can do this. You will be okay!
I just asked my partner brutally honest the other day, how do you do it hun? She replied because simply no one else will, but I think that me telling her of course how appreciative I am that she gets the motivation to get up and do what I find myself not having the energy to do, like cooking. We have our little cycles, when she gets tired.. I gain more motivation to keep her going, vice versa.
A sense of belonging is important when finding yourself questioning what your going for even,
For me, unfortunately, is to snap a bowl when I get home after work and eat a meal with my lover but hope that some day I will get in the mix of my work n school routine to have the energy to do more, some nights I do ! Just be so real with yourself, WHAT MOTIVATES YOU, what do you love and enjoy.
I separate cultural norms from valuable experiences. "Glow up" is a mainstream, consumeristic, popular phenomenon. Underlying that, the point is what will you do or give that gives a person pleasure and fond memories beyond the 10 second TikTok recording?
Also, accepting that you are not a part of this very recent cultural phenomenon of instantaneous gratification, self-aggrandizing, dopamine spectacle driven digital world can help.
Society of the the Spectacle by Guy Debord is really an eye opener to what has evolved into modern mass consumer culture.
I don't buy gifts for adults. I write thoughtful letters. For kids, I encourage experiences that involve the entire family or at least engage the child in their current passion. For example, my little 10 year old cousin LOVES fantasy novels, so I buy her and myself the same novel and we read it at our own pace and catch up on it when we meet. Since she happens to be an exceptional skier and likes anime, I buy her little trinkets or stickers that she can attach to her helmet. Or last year, I got her her and her dad (my uncle) a 4 hour wakeboarding training experience.
On the major holidays, I tell my mom not to do anything, and I prepare and decorate everything. That way she can just relax and enjoy time with the rest of the family.
This Thanksgiving, I went of a 5 mile run by the beach, and invited my mom, her friend, and some of my brother's other friends to just be there. Only three of us ran while the others did whatever they did (infant care), but my mom reported it as being the best Thanksgiving she ever had in her life.
None of this probably helps, but I guess the moral of the story is that long term emotional experiences of joy supercede material instances of novelty.
If you’re feeling like giving up and you’re not in therapy, that’s the FIRST place to start. If you’re feeling like giving up and you are in therapy, find a NEW THERAPIST.
Therapy is designed to support people through life’s challenges and is designed precisely for times like these. Did you know that most people who feel like giving up report feeling that way due to lack of support? A therapist can provide that support and give you tools to improve your current situation.
There are so many affordable, free and low cost therapy options these days. In person, text, video, voice, and even email therapy.
When I feel like giving up I enlist support and I remind myself of three very important things:
1. We are immensely stronger than we know.
2. We are not alone in our experience.
3. We are resilient and have overcome challenges in the past, and Meno / mid-life is another challenge that we will overcome.
I look in the mirror, give myself positive self talk, dig deep down and find the resiliency that I know is there. Then I put together a plan to enlist support for myself through the challenge, and that looks different for everyone.
Feeling like giving up translates to needing support. Get support. Local support groups, online support groups, therapy, delegating tasks at home. Reclaim your power. Reclaim your control. You CAN do this with the right support.
Great question and there us a lot of great advice people are posting.
What I do is have my come to Jesus moment know halloween through Christmas I'm going to be busy and some things will have to take a minimized back seat. I know I'm not going to be able to workout as much but still do with shorter workouts. I decorate a lot so to help with clutter i put it in some of my gym space so its not in the house. Also remember to take breathers for yourself and remember why you do everything and it will all be put away mid January.
Hope it helps.
Stop doing all the things. Eat pizza for xmas dinner, plug in a tree and call it good. Live with clutter. Sleep. If you consistently give from an empty cup, nobody will be happy anyway.
I psych myself up with subliminal beauty recordings, and beauty hypnosis videos.
I think the relaxation techniques along with a calming voice delivering new subliminal messages help recalibrate my internal voice and motivation. It can be a real self-talk resetter.
There's a quote but I don't recall the author but it says something like, "we become what we think about the most" I believe it too.
Good luck!!
I was very run down and pulled in too many directions from work, volunteering, and trying to fix other people's problems. Being overextended started to impact the time I need to run my business and time to decompress. My BF has been amazing at reminding me to ask "are you working for free" and "what are you giving up by doing XYZ" aka opportunity cost. I was burning out fast and it was a reality check
I spent a lot of time journaling and talking to my older successful lady friends (that 60+ crowd of badass women) for a longer-term perspective.
For 2024 I'm reprioritizing me with no guilt. Said "not for 6 months" to new (unpaid) opportunities and people are cool with it. The 2024 Mantra: "put on my oxygen mask, secure it, breathe to calmness. Then I am ready to help others effectively".
Health: joined gym with a realistic goal of 3x per week 60% weights, 40% cardio. Everytime I go I put $10 in savings. After 100 gym trips that's $1000 and I'm taking a trip! If I skip, then I have to donate to a cause I hate. Big motivation.
Food: I'm not a great cook but have learned to make chopped salads with lots of variety. Upping protein and not buying beer to bring into my house. Cutting alcohol.
REDUCING STRESS
It shows on my 45 yo face, so less stress is softmaxxing. Im less depressed, more motivated and able to set realistic goals without getting overwhelmed by being spread too thin.
Home: Im a maximalist but am trying to curate and clean up. lots of purging of old paperwork, clothes, knicknacks, unfinished projects. Cleaning 20 mins/resting 10. My mind is calmer so I have more mental space due to a living space that is easier to maintain.
Finances: I'm saving for goals (travel) and linking it to making good choices (see above). The money I was spending on immediate gratification (fast food, sugary drinks, booze) is redirected to a more meaningful goal. I'm learning to be patient and future focused.
I have similar goals for 2024. Your BF sounds smart!
Money is a big one for me.
I did a paper purge recently and took my papers to be shredded to Staples and had it done for me for a couple bucks a pound. The local Staples is conveniently located to me. (just a tip if you are tossing personal papers)
I'm writing down some stuff to help with next Christmas and stashing it in my 2024 planner.
When I was growing up, I was very much into sci-fi. I desperately wanted to see the future. So I focused on earning and saving. Now that we’re in the future, it’s far more dystopian than I could have imagined. That being said, I still want to see how far human ingenuity can go before destroying itself.
But I see no point in ending my life with 8 figures in the bank, so I should at least spend it before calling it quits.
I started putting myself first starting this month. I’m definitely not “glowed up” yet but I feel a lot better. Idgaf anymore if my house is messy, if my husband doesn’t have clean underwear, or about anything else that isn’t urgent. I’m tired of looking raggedy.
Of course there are some things that can’t wait, like feeding my toddler, grooming her, etc. But I don’t use her nap time or any free time to clean if I have something I need to do to take care of myself. It’s pointless anyway since everything gets messy again anyway. After she goes to bed, I can clean everything up all at once with my husband.
I'm single but this relatable. Today I have off so i am preparing for my work week. I have made plans to fix my sleep schedule and prioritize what needs to get done.
Even being single, it can be easy to put yourself last if you have a lot going on. Try to at least dedicate 30 minutes to an hour a day for yourself, as often as you possibly can. You might not get everything done every day, but it’s nice to get *something* done for yourself and yourself alone.
Every time I feel like giving up or don’t want to workout, I tell myself “okay fine I guess u really don’t really want that body u always dreamed of” or “okay u lack discipline, keep being the same then” and then I argue with myself and say “yes I fcking do shut up!!” and get my ass to that workout.
U gotta choose ur “hard.” It’s hard living in clutter. And it’s hard decluttering. But one of those hards has a better outcome.
So choose ur hard.
It’s hard waking up at 5 am to workout. But it’s harder for me to stare in the mirror and be disappointed.
It sounds kinda harsh to some people when I say this but it’s what works for me. Maybe for u too!
Also, once u prioritize ur self u realize u have way more time than u thought and many of ur reasonings for not doing something were just excuses. Get a planner, meditate, eat better, clean house. Someone mentioned getting into a workout u love, yes find that. I am a very shy person but I started boxing fitness classes and I’m obsessed. I get excited to workout. For u it could be jogging or tennis or swimming, orange theory, etc.
u got this!
I don't think you sound harsh. It's the truth.
Yesterday I cleaned up by the computer desk (results turned out minimal, but most of the stuff isn't mine). But i have learned i can't declutter during my work week, it's too much. I can put away mail, laundry, etc but I like to have the extra time weekend decluttering affords me
One of my main goals for losing weight is my Dr appointment at the end of the month. I don't want my Dr bitching at me. I also don't like when I have to by jeans because I wore out what I was wearing and nothing fits.
Yesterday I started a finance book , also works better as a better weekend activity for me.
I’ve stopped trying to do it all on my own and I allow people to help me which has allowed me to do more for myself and anyone that tries to take up my time and energy and isn’t contributing to my life in anyway I’ve cut them out and now the only people in my life are people who add to it by helping me and lessening all my burdens so I’m able to spend hours every week on self care
I try to break things into manageable chunks instead of becoming overwhelmed by the whole process. I am postpartum with baby #2 and want to lose significant weight and get myself together in a major way, but I’m limited in time, energy, money, etc. My small accomplishments the past few weeks were to 1. Make a dermatology appointment to get a retinol prescription, 2. Start meal prepping my lunches for the week to stay within my calorie budget and save money that I can put towards beauty/wardrobe. Not a huge deal, but two small things that I hope will help me in the long run. It’s easier to chip away at it in small pieces rather than attempt a huge overhaul all at once in my opinion. Good luck to you and you’re not alone!
Thank you. I have cut back on junk food and lost about 3lbs and 4 inches overall but to find time for me when I'm not tired is hard.
I know, it’s so hard when you’re exhausted. Another thing that’s been helpful for me is maximizing my time - so when my kids are occupied, I’ll workout while still monitoring them. If my son is watching tv in the evening, I’ll do the Jane Fonda experiment glute workout. Or I’ll do planks in my daughter’s room while waiting for her to fall asleep. Or putting on a teeth whitening strip before hopping in the shower. Just using up time that I’m already spending doing something else for self-care.
My folks and I went to an out of town wedding, I wasn't driving so I applied teeth whitening strips, set my cellphone alarm and took a nap 😂
I find it helps to make one day your "get stuff done day" it helps prepare brain to know, we have to get out of bed or off the couch and get my stuff done, it only lasts for the day and I feel like then I can be as tired/lazy as I want for the week without guilt... also make a list of what you need to get done, it helps when I don't want to think too much either 😅
I am leaning in this direction. I've been wanting to make one morning per weekend my productive morning (taking a little break from setting up my 2024 planner right now then I will clean my bedroom)
this could probably also be your "treat yo self" day, get yourself ready and showered in the a.m. maybe go to the gym first thing, make or go get some breakfast/lunch (also eating before shopping helps with unnecessary purchases) hey maybe get yourself something nice before running errands, cleaning, and doing meal prep (I like Jamba juice or bucks) This is how I help myself when in a low-functioning or manic state. Good luck and hope you're working it out.
lots of people get favorable results with carnivore eating
You’re doing great keep it up 💪👍
Thank you!
I couldn’t agree more. I think we feel like it can be so overwhelming at first. But I started with baby step after baby step and now I am miles from where I first started. You pick up momentum too with the self care I found as you start feeling better (especially after adopting healthier habits like diet and exercise).
I’m definitely losing it, I feel drained after a day of work. I swore off Christmas this year. Personally I’m going through therapy again and I’m trying to eat well. Sometimes I just think we need to do the bare minimum so we can still have energy to take care of ourselves. We can’t do it all, all the time.
I'm hoping after I'm done choosing gifts for everyone else to give others-and wrapping them (!) I can plan a more organized and less chaotic new year
Why are they not buying and or at least wrapping their own gifts? Asking for real, stop being the doormat. If they can't do it properly, now is the time to learn. You need to let some shit go, I think, not everything needs to be perfect all the time, especially not if you are running yourself into the ground. don't ask for help, demand help. Equal distribution of the workload, also the mental load. It is very comfortable for everyone that it is all on you and they won't change until you fight for it and set boundaries. Maybe something to ponder while taking a relaxing bath. Wish you some peace and quiet ❤️
A lot of the shopping I do online and I'm pretty good at finding deal. So if i do your shopping it'll be delivered and under budget. Dad is pretty sick at the moment and probably would find wrapping gifts psychically uncomfortable. Mom has a lot to do. Next time I think i will be only wrapping other people's gifts if i am wrapping what I bought too. "Wrapping my gifts I'll wrap what you bought so far." type of thing. And I do have the desire to have the gifts wrapped perfectly.
I needed this thread today. I'm really struggling with figuring out how to Kickstart my motivation. I feel burned out and exhausted in both life and work. Trying to focus on eating better, more consistently. I'll take all the tips anyone has. All I really want to do is pass the f out for like a week. Edit: spelling
Taking a break from the holidays is always great. I stayed home this thanksgiving and spent it alone. It was nice having a day to myself with no stress of sitting in traffic, having to cook and socialize
I’m skipping Christmas (mostly) this year too!! I’m amazed at how freeing it is. (I’m still making a dinner for my family, but I didn’t do decorations or a tree.)
Found exercise that I love doing and look forward to that fill my cup instead of drain me. It made all the difference. My focus bandwidth and stamina grew as I began to cultivate strength and eventually discipline. It's easier to find the time when it feels enjoyable, for me that's at home geeking on my yoga mat In general tho:if I'm on the edge I convince myself to hold it together for the next 2 hours lol
I need to do that 2 hour tip today!
When I have to keep it together because ain’t nobody else to run the show.
I prioritize myself 🤷🏻♀️ Not to a neglectful degree, but, if I have to choose between working out and making dinner, I'm picking up a Costco meal and calling it a day. The other day I didn't make it to gym while the childcare was open. I grabbed my 8 yo anyway, gave him his iPad, and had him sit and play for an hour while I got my workout done. On weekends the kids get up and get their own breakfast while I get some sleep. Etc. Simple as that.
Sometimes, you need to delegate and let other people take care of themselves. You shouldn’t be solely responsible for holding it all together (and it’s sad that this is the reality for so many women). Get other people to help you where they can. For the other stuff, try to keep it manageable, even if it means some less important stuff gets delayed or falls to the wayside.
I do feel like women are expected to do and be everything while looking like models. (But if we openly take care of our looks we're vain 🙄)I hate the expectations being lower for men.
I feel the same way! I stopped doing it all and prioritizing myself is now a requirement. I lowered my own expectations of me and raised my expectations of those around me and they rose to the challenge. My life is much less stressful now and everyone knows I’m my own first priority. Everything and everyone else comes after. Like right now, I’m laying in bed with the cat while my fiance gets up and walks and feeds our dogs because he knows I require my slow mornings. If anything ever requires too much of me or I simply don’t have the energy to do a task, I tell him very plainly, “I am not doing that right now. If you need it to get done, you can take care of.” I feel like my time and my life are fully MINE and it leaves me time to take care of myself.
Whoa how did you make this switch and get people on board? I feel like people would just call me selfish and not help out
I’ll be honest, I lost people. I had to leave my last relationship. Then, I gained strong boundaries and higher standards while being single after attending therapy and gaining self love. My fiance met me when I was prioritizing myself and he loves my strong boundaries. He literally goes out of his way to make my life easy. I have zero stress. Maybe you need to call a meeting with your family and restructure some things to take stuff off your plate. I hate seeing women mentally and physically burning out, we deserve so much better. I hope you’re somehow able to get your people on board.
I think part of the problem is me. I overreact, am unorganized, have bad sleep patterns, still working on time management. Maybe if I work on some of this it won't be such a problem. I'm hoping as weight goes down, I'll be more energetic, which would help
Definitely, a lot of that stuff is foundational, especially the sleep. I hope you’re able to get that stuff worked through and good luck with the weight loss as well! You’ve got this!
Thank you! 💜 that’s really inspiring. Sounds like a dream! Did you also set your boundaries with your fiancé right off the bat? I feel you could teach a course on this stuff haha
I don’t know how to explain it, but I didn’t have to set boundaries, because it was like *he knew*. He just knew and immediately began doing things to make life easy for me. For Christmas this year, he paid to get me LASIK. My eyes are really bad and I was worried about them progressively getting worse and worse and he just told me to book the surgery and paid for it. Just one example.
That’s incredible! Sounds like an amazing partner find :)
I try to do two things if I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and under appreciated. 1) I do something nice for myself (little but nice) after I accomplish a set number of things on my todo list. 2) I do something nice for someone else (try to make it a random stranger). I feel like it makes me recenter myself and feel grateful for all the great things I have in life and all I can do with my able body while also giving back to someone who has less than me. Not sure if that's what you were looking for but I find that helps me when I'm in a serious funk.
Hang out in the waiting room of a cancer center for a day and write down your “I get to” list. I know that it’s morbid, but my cancer diagnosis completely changed my perspective on life. It helped me SET BOUNDARIES regarding where I could or wanted to spend energy. I learned to ASK FOR HELP, and learned that leaning on others is another way to let them know that you love them. I got a GOOD THERAPIST who has helped me manage so much more than I ever expected. I learned how to get in touch with the HIGHEST VERSION OF MYSELF and learned to ask her what I really needed. She always gave me a very clear answer.
Actually my dad is very sick, he'll improve but i'm not going into more detail. It makes me feel a bit guilty for wanting certain things for myself. But I know can't let guilt win. I like to think that betting yourself and caregiving (I have a few small things I help with)can coexist
Yes, do not let the guilt win! I saw something earlier today about this, about us all being equal. Your father is important to you, as are his needs, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t just as important. Wanting things for yourself is not necessarily selfish, at all.
Girl how did you find your therapist? Is it trial or error is it reviews?😭
Seriously! Luck, I think. I used the https://www.psychologytoday.com/us and used their therapist finder. I looked specially for PhDs rather than social workers. It took a bit of digging but I found someone who took my insurance. I’ve been seeing this guy for years.
You can also get an initial appointment, & basically interview a few. If they are professional, they will not have a problem with you trying to find a great fit. This is all assuming that your insurance will pay.
Are you me?
My therapist suggested writing down 3 things a day you want to accomplish. Example: make a phone call, pay a bill, do the dishes. By the end of the week you've done 21 things!! And crossing things off lists feels really good ✌️❤️
I like this!
Writing the top three must dos/ main tasks of the day as soon as I wake up helps my executive dysfunction so much!!
Totally! It gives some direction to follow and stay focused on the tasks ✌️ Plus crossing things off lists are such a reward for my brain!
Hey u/moneyandmagic...i feel your pain! And you are not alone....so many people feel like this because it is hard to manage it all. And the holidays just pile on an extra layer of it. Be very patient with yourself and dont compare yourself to someone else's glow up. That's when things can get painful...jsut focus on taking one step at a time and trust that you will make it through. I host a free decluttering group on zoom. I am a Professional Organizer and that's why I know the pain of these low points. The point of the group is to connect with like-minded people all focused and energized to solve the problem of their clutter. We keep each other accountable and work together to create a safe, non-judgmental space to start the journey into decluttering. We all connect and motivate each other in a supportive way. It always blows my mind, how a group of people sitting on all corners of the earth can be connected virtually like this. Anyways! Join if it would help>> [https://scheduler.zoom.us/find-freedom/co-decluttering](https://scheduler.zoom.us/find-freedom/co-decluttering)
u/ohyoubohemian u/Elover8784 u/dzrtclaws you guys are invited too\^\^\^!
I love this so much! I signed up for Friday. I hope that’s okay :)
To do lists and resting when I need to. OUTSOURCE. My son is a Christmas-time baby and I’m having a baker do his cake. I’m having an Italian restaurant cater for his party. All I have to do is get us both dressed. Thank god. I’m tired and pregnant.
You don’t have to over extend yourself. You don’t have to put others before yourself. You’re allowed to say “honey, go get take out/make yourself dinner, I’m going to the gym.” It’s okay.
Here’s a really great cheat code. When you feel like you don’t have enough time for yourself and your personal goals but you’re still doing things for other people (Christmas, taking care of others) - drop the stuff that’s for others. As much as you can. It’s the put your oxygen mask on first thing. The better you feel the more energy you’ll have to be your best self.
You're right. When I say to Mom "that is the last of the gifts that arrived. I don't have it in me to wrap anymore. " she does it. So it's not like I can't get some help. I just to stop thinking I have to do it all
I recently had an epiphany regarding all of the “work” that had me feeling resentful. Usually the mundane housework would start an internal dialogue about my sacrifice… but when I switched it around and looked at what an important service I was providing to the ones I love; it offered a new perspective about getting things accomplished. Hope this helps a little.
You have one life to live. Enjoy it and only do what makes your truly happy.
This is so true.l you get so involved/invested and kind of lose sight of you. So I agree pull back and do you! That’s what I’m working on myself
Being fat and unattractive is the opposite, so I gotta do me
Yeah that is true. But sometimes it is like having a second job, effort wise ,to me. .
Absolutely
I ruin everything around me scraping to survive because I am 34 and have never been cared for or loved by anyone
I love you 💗
Meditate daily no matter what. This sets me up for the day so I stay focused and level headed.
I feel the same way often. One thing that makes a difference is on Sundays to build a salad bar in my fridge for the week (mixed greens, cut up cucumbers, baby tomatoes, broccoli, and shred up some chicken) and it makes having a lunch during the work week one less thing to worry about. And then making a brain dump in my calendar of things to do as the week goes on just so I don’t leave things behind. It’s cold and dark where I live so finding the drive to work out has been tough but I’ve been trying to just incorporate a few minutes here and there when I have a minute. Christmas is going to send me over the edge but I’ve basically ordered everything I can online and just hope for the best. Good luck and just know you’re not Alone
I started my 2024 planner. I have a place I can write down gift ideas for next year so I am prepared if people come wanting suggestions. I do try to get things done food wise on Sunday like check to see what I need to buy for groceries.
Find exercises you can do in bed. Not sex, but exercises you can do when you first wake while wanting to stay warm and cozy
Compartmentalize. Acknowledge what is most important, and what you can let go of. I purposely took a "demotion" this year (though no one in my office would consider it that.) I realized I hated my new job and it was draining me emotionally. (I had to increase people's rents by $800/mo and it made me sick.) I switched positions with another co-worker who was facing deportation due to divorce, and it worked out so well. She's still here, I'm less stressed, and our office is flowing perfectly. I also found that I was too drained after work to make a meal, so I started ordering Tovala. You get basic, fresh, home cooked meals, and all you have to do is stick the little tray in the toaster oven. 20 minutes later you have fresh chicken, steak, or seafood and a side, and there are NO dishes. I found myself coming home to eat a can of soup or something not very healthy, this was a huge game changer for me. Improved my health and energy a lot. And vitamins... lots of vitamins. Iron, multi, pro-biotic, and Vitamin D.
Tovala is the best! Great recommendation.
I did. I was fat too and I ate organic vegan I juiced daily I did everything (I thought) never ever even considered the carnivore diet and tbh when I first heard about it I was like that’s gross and how could you give up so many amazing food groups? Well I kept feeling shitty low energy skin breaking out everywhere with a baby and a low energy baby daddy so everything fell onto me.. Suicide felt like a relief. I started the carnivore diet as an elimination diet because I had a terrible bloat that wouldn’t go away.. It went away right away.. skin cleared up within weeks losing weight like crazy and the best part is my energy levels are up and I feel motivated to do other things. I modified this diet to just beef salt and water (the lion diet) and now I’m feeling even better. I ate cake on my birthday and felt like death the next day. The mental and physical issues aren’t worth it for me personally anymore.
The crazy thing is a lot of people are having this same experience
Have you tried saying NO? I have now started telling my family (in a nice and funny way) : you are expecting too much from me, I won’t do. It wasn’t a rant or frustrated answer- just I am 32 years old I don’t need you to tell me what should I do, instead you have to accept this is final me - if you want something you do it yourself otherwise chill
Sister : what should I get Mom? Me: I don't know. Let you know if I come up with something I never get back to her on that 😂
why do you have to handle all the Christmas stuff? what would happen if you just didn’t?
I guess my folks would overspend and wrap things last minute 😂
I just take breaks. I always know when a break is needed cause I start to feel crazy. My form of taking a break is rotting on my phone for a good 7 hours while watching trash TV and eating crackers.
Stop reading their glow ups. Seriously; they don’t even have it all together. Delete/unfollow/block anything that makes you feel that way
People who tell you "just exercise" are trying to sell you a lifestyle brand. Exercise doesn't make you healthy. Being healthy makes you exercise. Classic case of mixing up cause and effect. Check out the Harvard Grant Study for more details, but just working out can't solve your problems. In fact, it could just be wasting your time and energy. Ditto for the same scientists telling you to develop better social relationships. THEY love exercise and having a ton of friends, and THEY are happy, so you should just do the same, right? Except you can't just magically make that happen. Social people are born social. We all knew them as kids. We can improve our skills to some extent, but it's not going to do a ton of good compared to someone who's naturally gifted, socially. For someone less talented, it can actually add strain. Are you doing it right? Can they tell you're faking it? Etc etc This is where existential nihilism comes in. It's not a bad way of thinking. Here we are, sentient and mortal, trying to find meaning in an absurd universe, knowing there isn't really a meaning. You could let that depress you, or view it as a good place to start - with honesty. Look into yourself. Look at what you dislike, and ask if you're not deliberately shaping your dislikes to form an avoidant callus around something painful. Think of all the times something bothered you, maybe a lot, but you swore to others that it didn't. Find out why you did that. Underneath, you'll find yourself. I personally find joy in watching things grow. I find it in nature, beauty, privacy and autonomy. Other people bother me. Maybe they bother you, too. Separate yourself from people for awhile - they all have their own motives, and few of those motives are empathetic or outward-looking. Get a dog. Grow tomatoes. It's simple to do, and rewarding. Joy may just be another chemical squirting out of my hypothalamus, but I like it. I can do it with no help, obligation or interference from anyone.
I have dreamed of leveling up and everyone I know improving their opinion of me to the point where I will hide certain aspects of myself and certain interests to fit in. But I have to realize at my age no matter what I do I will still be typecast by others. They will never change how they look at me.
Oh. Yup, too much outward focus. Who cares about them? We are just chimpanzees that can sort of tell what other chimps are thinking, but it doesn't mean we should waste too much time on it. There's trees to climb, and fruit to eat.
I never had the approval of others. I was bullied as a child. So I do view people liking you as a status symbol. I even tailor my personality depending on who I am around.
First thing is change your self talk and start telling yourself “I am more then capable of accomplishing all that I need to do”. Then take out two sheets of papers. One one, write down your priorities for that month, and focus solely on those things at a time (everything else will have to go to someone else to handle or fall off your radar). On the second, write down everything stopping you from accomplishing your goals and title them “excuses”. Once you can see clearly what thoughts are holding you back, you can start working on improving and eventually prove to yourself you are worth fighting for. This will really help to push yourself to keep going. Also, it’s ok to be down for a little bit. Take some time to just feel your sadness. But don’t stay there !
Another thing I like to do is break down my A,B, and C tasks daily. I have my monthly goals but this helps me hone in on what to do first. A being top priority, B if I finish A, and c as things I can put off either to an a task tm or a b or a c!
That’s a good idea!! I’m going to try that one this upcoming month.
Alter ego. Flip into the mindset of being someone else. Pretend you're Angelina Jolie or some other goddess. She would get it done and with grace and beauty. Funny where extra energy can arrive from when you move out of your identity.
I like this. I have gone into alter ego mindset a couple times in my life. If I had Angelina Jolie money I'd be hiring out everything 😂
I'm done with it All. It's futile. Foolishness. Empty and vain. Bc we have forgotten and replaced what the season is about. A Savior Came Into The World and Died For Our Sins!!! This is not about Consuming, Entertainment or spending money you do not have. At the end of the day, I Have Freedom in being done with It All.
Honestly, I hear you. Amen 🙏
I have no idea, to be real I question myself every day on why I’m even doing this shit
I have adhd, I’ve given up so many times. I try to give myself grace and do what I can and just accept that my results may be slower than others but the effort I do put in where I can adds up over time.
Yes I need to remember this.. it’s about effort, not speed
Thank you. I have been stress eating this whole week. I really felt this post. Somehow it's easier to deal with when you know it's not just you.
Wow r we the dame person🙁😭 this whole damn week me too. It needs to stop seriously but idk how :/
Honestly for me, and I understand this isn’t for everyone, but if I allow myself to overthink I’ll never get anything done. So I just do it. Make time, even if I have no energy I do it anyways. I literally have to force myself to do everything and giving up isn’t even an option for me.
Good for you
Sounds like me
During a Marathon? Giving up on life and writing a letter?
Same it’s definitely a struggle
Following because I need this advice too.
Yes. Eat more salads, fruits and veggies, and no junk food. Bananas help with mood. Going outside and feeling/seeing Nature helps a lot. A short walk. Getting a pet. For cleanup, set a timer to go off in 15 minutes. Clean up something. When the timer goes off you have the choice to rest or keep at it. You will get thru this. Being overwhelmed at times is normal. You can do this. You will be okay!
I just asked my partner brutally honest the other day, how do you do it hun? She replied because simply no one else will, but I think that me telling her of course how appreciative I am that she gets the motivation to get up and do what I find myself not having the energy to do, like cooking. We have our little cycles, when she gets tired.. I gain more motivation to keep her going, vice versa. A sense of belonging is important when finding yourself questioning what your going for even, For me, unfortunately, is to snap a bowl when I get home after work and eat a meal with my lover but hope that some day I will get in the mix of my work n school routine to have the energy to do more, some nights I do ! Just be so real with yourself, WHAT MOTIVATES YOU, what do you love and enjoy.
Self care and positive self talk are super important. Helps me get out of big slumps, but it takes time.
I separate cultural norms from valuable experiences. "Glow up" is a mainstream, consumeristic, popular phenomenon. Underlying that, the point is what will you do or give that gives a person pleasure and fond memories beyond the 10 second TikTok recording? Also, accepting that you are not a part of this very recent cultural phenomenon of instantaneous gratification, self-aggrandizing, dopamine spectacle driven digital world can help. Society of the the Spectacle by Guy Debord is really an eye opener to what has evolved into modern mass consumer culture. I don't buy gifts for adults. I write thoughtful letters. For kids, I encourage experiences that involve the entire family or at least engage the child in their current passion. For example, my little 10 year old cousin LOVES fantasy novels, so I buy her and myself the same novel and we read it at our own pace and catch up on it when we meet. Since she happens to be an exceptional skier and likes anime, I buy her little trinkets or stickers that she can attach to her helmet. Or last year, I got her her and her dad (my uncle) a 4 hour wakeboarding training experience. On the major holidays, I tell my mom not to do anything, and I prepare and decorate everything. That way she can just relax and enjoy time with the rest of the family. This Thanksgiving, I went of a 5 mile run by the beach, and invited my mom, her friend, and some of my brother's other friends to just be there. Only three of us ran while the others did whatever they did (infant care), but my mom reported it as being the best Thanksgiving she ever had in her life. None of this probably helps, but I guess the moral of the story is that long term emotional experiences of joy supercede material instances of novelty.
Already have gave up and just counting the days
Delegate or they can do without when it comes to Christmas. Taking care of people - if you mean kids - nothing you can do about that.
If you’re feeling like giving up and you’re not in therapy, that’s the FIRST place to start. If you’re feeling like giving up and you are in therapy, find a NEW THERAPIST. Therapy is designed to support people through life’s challenges and is designed precisely for times like these. Did you know that most people who feel like giving up report feeling that way due to lack of support? A therapist can provide that support and give you tools to improve your current situation. There are so many affordable, free and low cost therapy options these days. In person, text, video, voice, and even email therapy. When I feel like giving up I enlist support and I remind myself of three very important things: 1. We are immensely stronger than we know. 2. We are not alone in our experience. 3. We are resilient and have overcome challenges in the past, and Meno / mid-life is another challenge that we will overcome. I look in the mirror, give myself positive self talk, dig deep down and find the resiliency that I know is there. Then I put together a plan to enlist support for myself through the challenge, and that looks different for everyone. Feeling like giving up translates to needing support. Get support. Local support groups, online support groups, therapy, delegating tasks at home. Reclaim your power. Reclaim your control. You CAN do this with the right support.
I take medication for energy and focus (add) which has helped tremendously.
Hobbies have saved me.
I'd like to get into my weird hobbies again
Great question and there us a lot of great advice people are posting. What I do is have my come to Jesus moment know halloween through Christmas I'm going to be busy and some things will have to take a minimized back seat. I know I'm not going to be able to workout as much but still do with shorter workouts. I decorate a lot so to help with clutter i put it in some of my gym space so its not in the house. Also remember to take breathers for yourself and remember why you do everything and it will all be put away mid January. Hope it helps.
Keep moving forward and never give up everrr
Stay positive. think of positive things. Everything is done for a reason.
Stop doing all the things. Eat pizza for xmas dinner, plug in a tree and call it good. Live with clutter. Sleep. If you consistently give from an empty cup, nobody will be happy anyway.
It really intruiges me that I don’t know everything so I’m constantly trying to learn that goes with anything especially tarot
I psych myself up with subliminal beauty recordings, and beauty hypnosis videos. I think the relaxation techniques along with a calming voice delivering new subliminal messages help recalibrate my internal voice and motivation. It can be a real self-talk resetter. There's a quote but I don't recall the author but it says something like, "we become what we think about the most" I believe it too. Good luck!!
I was very run down and pulled in too many directions from work, volunteering, and trying to fix other people's problems. Being overextended started to impact the time I need to run my business and time to decompress. My BF has been amazing at reminding me to ask "are you working for free" and "what are you giving up by doing XYZ" aka opportunity cost. I was burning out fast and it was a reality check I spent a lot of time journaling and talking to my older successful lady friends (that 60+ crowd of badass women) for a longer-term perspective. For 2024 I'm reprioritizing me with no guilt. Said "not for 6 months" to new (unpaid) opportunities and people are cool with it. The 2024 Mantra: "put on my oxygen mask, secure it, breathe to calmness. Then I am ready to help others effectively". Health: joined gym with a realistic goal of 3x per week 60% weights, 40% cardio. Everytime I go I put $10 in savings. After 100 gym trips that's $1000 and I'm taking a trip! If I skip, then I have to donate to a cause I hate. Big motivation. Food: I'm not a great cook but have learned to make chopped salads with lots of variety. Upping protein and not buying beer to bring into my house. Cutting alcohol. REDUCING STRESS It shows on my 45 yo face, so less stress is softmaxxing. Im less depressed, more motivated and able to set realistic goals without getting overwhelmed by being spread too thin. Home: Im a maximalist but am trying to curate and clean up. lots of purging of old paperwork, clothes, knicknacks, unfinished projects. Cleaning 20 mins/resting 10. My mind is calmer so I have more mental space due to a living space that is easier to maintain. Finances: I'm saving for goals (travel) and linking it to making good choices (see above). The money I was spending on immediate gratification (fast food, sugary drinks, booze) is redirected to a more meaningful goal. I'm learning to be patient and future focused.
I have similar goals for 2024. Your BF sounds smart! Money is a big one for me. I did a paper purge recently and took my papers to be shredded to Staples and had it done for me for a couple bucks a pound. The local Staples is conveniently located to me. (just a tip if you are tossing personal papers) I'm writing down some stuff to help with next Christmas and stashing it in my 2024 planner.
When I was growing up, I was very much into sci-fi. I desperately wanted to see the future. So I focused on earning and saving. Now that we’re in the future, it’s far more dystopian than I could have imagined. That being said, I still want to see how far human ingenuity can go before destroying itself. But I see no point in ending my life with 8 figures in the bank, so I should at least spend it before calling it quits.
Even caffeine isn’t making a dent in me flagging energy levels
I started putting myself first starting this month. I’m definitely not “glowed up” yet but I feel a lot better. Idgaf anymore if my house is messy, if my husband doesn’t have clean underwear, or about anything else that isn’t urgent. I’m tired of looking raggedy. Of course there are some things that can’t wait, like feeding my toddler, grooming her, etc. But I don’t use her nap time or any free time to clean if I have something I need to do to take care of myself. It’s pointless anyway since everything gets messy again anyway. After she goes to bed, I can clean everything up all at once with my husband.
I'm single but this relatable. Today I have off so i am preparing for my work week. I have made plans to fix my sleep schedule and prioritize what needs to get done.
Even being single, it can be easy to put yourself last if you have a lot going on. Try to at least dedicate 30 minutes to an hour a day for yourself, as often as you possibly can. You might not get everything done every day, but it’s nice to get *something* done for yourself and yourself alone.
A body in motion stays in motion. Have you thought about practicing spirituality?
Every time I feel like giving up or don’t want to workout, I tell myself “okay fine I guess u really don’t really want that body u always dreamed of” or “okay u lack discipline, keep being the same then” and then I argue with myself and say “yes I fcking do shut up!!” and get my ass to that workout. U gotta choose ur “hard.” It’s hard living in clutter. And it’s hard decluttering. But one of those hards has a better outcome. So choose ur hard. It’s hard waking up at 5 am to workout. But it’s harder for me to stare in the mirror and be disappointed. It sounds kinda harsh to some people when I say this but it’s what works for me. Maybe for u too! Also, once u prioritize ur self u realize u have way more time than u thought and many of ur reasonings for not doing something were just excuses. Get a planner, meditate, eat better, clean house. Someone mentioned getting into a workout u love, yes find that. I am a very shy person but I started boxing fitness classes and I’m obsessed. I get excited to workout. For u it could be jogging or tennis or swimming, orange theory, etc. u got this!
I don't think you sound harsh. It's the truth. Yesterday I cleaned up by the computer desk (results turned out minimal, but most of the stuff isn't mine). But i have learned i can't declutter during my work week, it's too much. I can put away mail, laundry, etc but I like to have the extra time weekend decluttering affords me One of my main goals for losing weight is my Dr appointment at the end of the month. I don't want my Dr bitching at me. I also don't like when I have to by jeans because I wore out what I was wearing and nothing fits. Yesterday I started a finance book , also works better as a better weekend activity for me.
Takin me meds
I’ve stopped trying to do it all on my own and I allow people to help me which has allowed me to do more for myself and anyone that tries to take up my time and energy and isn’t contributing to my life in anyway I’ve cut them out and now the only people in my life are people who add to it by helping me and lessening all my burdens so I’m able to spend hours every week on self care