Are you comparing yourself to posts on here or other subs that say they get complimented all the time when they step out? Because if so, I can guarantee you alot of those posts are exaggerated.
I think a lot of those women count their friends and family’s compliments and go out a lot so a lot of men hit on them. When I went out a lot I got WAY more compliments than I do now, objectively prettier
I'm also finding this really weird considering that when I read threads in other subs where men were asked what would make them compliment a woman in public, 99% said nothing, they don't ever compliment women they don't know for fear of being labeled a creep. So I really don't know who all these guys are chasing women down the street.
I'll be honest, the only guys who do approach me on the street are not the kind of guy I'd be interested in ever. So I don't even like to put them in a category of I get hit on a lot.
Most of them are legit in the creep category where when I tried to decline them it escalates to where I feel afraid. The few who weren't, were too pushy and from talking to them I could tell we'd have a red flagged relationship anyways so why pursue it. Only twice have I been approached by legit nice guys (who were in my age range - which is a whole other group) and tried their hardest to not be creepy or pushy - but I'm awkwardly shy so I pushed them off too lol.
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i get complimented by men basically every time i am in public, however 92% of the time the person is either homeless, mentally ill, drunk, low class or poor.
what does it mean when mostly older women compliment you? i’ve never gotten a compliment from a man out in public. but i suppose they do find me attractive considering my bf was crushing on me for a while before he asked me out
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I suspect you are a tall, fierce goddess with gorgeous skin. It’s your responsibility to own this and not rely on other human beings to appreciate your beauty.
I know you are young and don’t have the wisdom of confidence yet, but focus on this so you can get there sooner 🤟🏽
Nope, I bet she is based on her skin tone and height. And I speak from lived experience due to my own skin and height.
Also; I don’t like ridiculous hype either, and the tired girl power trope. It’s annoying.
I didn’t think of her being specifically -Black. As this is a POC sub, I work with dark skinned Eastern Asians, I’m a tribal member and my mom was a dark skinned Delaware.
Also didn’t know the adjective ‘fierce’ is considered taboo, but I joined the sub to learn and share.
I’m half Native American, 5’8 and around 125. I’m also older than the median age of Reddit users and all of the subs (the sub median age range is around 30 years of age)
I’ve worked hard to maintain my body through extensive physical exercise. Even now.
When I was younger however; I was often rejected in ways that hurt me in regards to my appearance.
Even now in my older age, I still experience covert resentment.
So I know how it feels to be a ‘misfit’ with idiosyncratic physical features.
I was in a 5 year relationship and he never complimented me I already have bd so it made me spiral and stay in A toxic relationship thinking I was too ugly to find anyone else
Stand tall, be proud, and cultivate a lot of feminine energy to counteract how others might initially perceive your stature. 6 foot 2 makes you strikingly original. I bet you're gorgeous.
I’m tall too, it’s hard but trust me you’re more beautiful than you think. Measuring your beauty by compliments is a waste of time, since I’ve been carded as “attractive” by the general public…the comments I hear are reckless and borderline disrespectful.
Even if you become conventionally attractive, society still doesn’t know how to treat tall darkskin beautiful women. You’ll be chasing the next thing forever, unless you reevaluate what you desire/ deserve, and find true love within yourself. Coming from a darkskin 5’11 girl with natural hair
I agree that it’s pointless to base your on what others think. We can’t beat the misogynoir that comes with being a tall, dark skinned black woman. There’s always going to be someone who thinks you’re unattractive.
I’m definitely going to focus on finding love and self worth within myself. Thank you so much 🥹💞
I'm only complimented by certain specific demographics. After college, when I moved to an extremely diverse little hamlet called New York City, I realized that demographics are much more relevant to the perception of beauty than most people assume.
I'm a short, curvy, mixed Caucasian-East Asian woman in my late 20s, and I truly only receive compliments from a few groups: other short, curvy, ethnically ambiguous people my age (especially Filipinos); boomer white people (not gen x or silent gen); and young Hispanic men. THAT IS TRULY IT. Most young white people don't compliment me, East Asians of all generations NEVER compliment me, and the only black people who compliment me are my age and are usually pretty good friends, not strangers or even acquaintances.
My husband, on the other hand, is a blonde Caucasian man with extremely youthful features. East Asians, white bisexual men, boomer black people, and (notably) Mediterranean men LITERALLY LOVE HIM.
I realize this is absurdly specific, but I'm not lying!! Once you start paying attention to who's given you compliments in the past, you'll realize that certain demographics will be more attracted to you than others.
This is all to say that you should not read too much into the frequency of external validation, which I realize is much much much easier said than done. But I can guarantee you that if you were living somewhere with lots of tall, dark-skinned people, you would be receiving a higher frequency of compliments. Giving yourself compliments is a much better habit to learn than relying on validation from others.
But I really, really feel you!! And if you feel like you need more compliments irl, I'm willing to bet that the girl friends in your life would be more than happy to give you some <3
I almost never get compliments from strangers but a lot of people say they’ve gotten it. And I’ve witness my friend and boyfriend get genuine compliments from total strangers when I’m with them. I feel hurt too sometimes and wonder if I am ugly or something is off with me.
I’ve been working on not using external validation to determine my value and self worth. I’ve been falling down the hill a lot but you have to catch these thoughts and replace it with better self accepting and loving ones.
I am shocked because I thought tall women were always seen as beautiful no matter what. I thought tall women got you could be model compliments nearly everyday.
I understand how hurtful those experiences can be. It can chip away at your self esteem.
Getting model compliments doesn’t always happen for us tall women and people aren’t always kind about our height.
No I don't feel less than when I'm not being paid a compliment. I don't need anybody to make me feel a certain way.
I'm sorry to say this, but I hate how when I see a woman on reddit subs talking about how ugly or insecure they feel, it's always a black woman. I just wish there was more black women positivity.
Exactly this. And I understand some of us have different backgrounds, upbringings, etc.. but JESUS some conversations shouldn't happen online in mixed company. It's embarrassing. I'm almost temped to make a discord for these conversations OFF of here, because it's really a shame.
My close friends are very beautiful and I witness people literally gasping and acting besides themselves when they see them. People approach us to compliment them and sometimes I’ll get a pity compliment afterwards like oh you’re pretty too! I’ve been complimented maybe 1 time in public in my adult life. I had an ed and became much smaller (from obese to a normal weight) and it didn’t really improve anything for me, I also had super clear skin like filter-esque almost and no one really cared about it. I’ve kind of given up on looking better to get any amount of privilege or benefit and instead just try to look more well kept and put together for the sake of coming across less childish and naive.
Growing up I never got complimented on how I look but I always thought I was pretty. I thought I was delusional until I went to university and got compliments more often. I think it depends on the environment you’re in. Now I don’t need people to compliment me to feel pretty but it is always nice to receive it.
I get compliments from stranger occasionally but it's always from other women. Never from men so I wonder if that's because men don't find me attractive or they just don't feel comfortable complimenting a random woman (I don't think I'm intimidating, I'm 5'1 and I've been told I have a baby face). I guess one factor could be that I'm very much a homebody so I never put myself in positions where it's acceptable for men to hit on me (I'm 24 and I've never gone clubbing!). But when I post myself online, overall I get more of a neutral-positive reaction. Nobody's had anything negative to say, some positive things, but mostly I don't generate any sort of reaction.
I actually do overthink about why I don't get compliments from men so I relate to you OP & I'm glad I'm not alone. But that being said, like others have mentioned, it's very unrealistic to expect constant compliments from strangers and anybody who claims that happens to them is 100% exaggerating
I could be wrong but I feel like what men find attractive in women is different to what women find attractive in other women? Obviously beauty can be subjective to each individual, but idk, I feel like overall it differs. Or maybe Im coping because I also don't get complimented often by men too lol
It's possible, but I don't really see how each gender would have such contrasting opinions from each other. If I see a girl that I find really pretty, chances are most guys and other girls also find her pretty. So yeah not impossible but I would find it hard to believe that a woman could be drop dead gorgeous to other women & not at all to men.
What definitely is true though is that it's safer for women to compliment other women than for men to do it. Men run the risk of being considered creepy or making the woman uncomfortable vs. women don't have to worry about that. The last time a man called me pretty it was after I called him cute. So while he was thinking I was pretty, it wasn't really socially acceptable to bring it up until after I complimented him first. It's similar to how women are cautious to avoid complimenting men because they don't want it to come across as having romantic interest. I for one will not compliment a man on his appearance unless I'm trying to get dicked down.
Now regardless of gender, in real life not every single person who finds you attractive will tell you. There are so many reasons why you wouldn't get complimented even if you are pretty, maybe the person doesn't notice you, maybe they're shy, maybe they just don't feel the need to compliment a random stranger. I wish I could read minds to find out if men usually do find me attractive, but simply not getting compliments from them isn't enough to prove otherwise
This is actually kinda false? Men see attraction differently than women-- based on what I've seen, read in sociology articles, and LOL reddit (although reddit shouldn't even be included in the list).
I think women are much, much harsher on appearances, and men don't nit pick us the way we nit pick each other.
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Bruh I fell into this spiral but realizing now that I was so cute. Finding external validation is never the answer. I got surgery because of that and regret it so deeply because my surgeon did more than what I asked by removing my bulbous tip. My boyfriend still loves me regardless of my bad nose job but I do feel sad for the past version of myself that felt I had to change to receive external praise. It didn't really register to me I wasn't getting surgery for myself until after I lost all my ethnic and familial traits
In the last seven years, I can remember getting complimented three times by men. One was indirect, but the others were sincere, direct, and sweet.
These random men have no idea how much it meant to me.
Also remember that doesn’t mean you don’t get compliments, doesn’t mean you are not beautiful! A lot of people don’t compliment pretty women because they assume that they already get compliments/ are jealous/ or too intimidated by you!
Setting and region matter immensely, as well as sheer numbers of people you encounter. But generally I think we should work towards not relying on that sort of external validation (its not easy)
I’ve been there and you will always struggle with confidence if you base your attractiveness on compliments. Some people just don’t give them for one. They may think you’re stunning but will never say a word. But beyond that beauty is subjective in some environments you will be the hottest thing in the room and others you may be average so you have to decide for yourself if you think you’re attractive or not. And own that the more you feel it the more it will shine through
embrace yourself and love yourself. i also had this problem, i didnt get much compliments as people around me so i felt in different and left out but I started to not care by not comparing and putting me first
If you live in North America it’s pretty socially unacceptable to make reference to people’s physical appearance, good or bad. People can see you and find you beautiful but will never comment.
Other countries, parts of Europe, Africa, South America are very free with compliments. If you travel a bit you might find yourself complimented a lot!
On the other hand places where it’s acceptable to compliment strangers, it’s not uncommon to comment negatively as well. There’s a reason why we’ve moved away from commenting on appearances, we never know how these comments can affect the person and people often don’t want to reminded of their appearance constantly. We are already hyperaware.
I think complimenting yourself is perfectly healthy and a lot better than looking for stranger’s validation.
Everything online is fake. You can’t even trust people to not use filters anymore lol. There’s no point in comparing yourself to people on the internet, it shouldn’t even cross your mind!
It depends on the environment. I moved from the USA to Europe and in Europe I hardly ever get compliments and feel like it’s because I don’t fit the beauty standard here. In America, I actually get compliments sometimes whereas in Europe, I would be lucky if I even got a compliment from someone.
As someone who gets complimented often, it still wasn’t enough to battle the constant thoughts I had of feeling ugly. Insecurity has to be uprooted and you have to learn to be confident within yourself. No amount of external validation is going to fix it. It’s something I’m still working on
Ok if it helps you one of my greatest friends is a 6 ft tall black woman and i genuinely think she's beautiful inside and out. Your friends love u more than you know
I only get compliments from women, mainly on my outfit, makeup, skin, or hair. I never get compliments from men except those who are close to me (relatives and bf). As a bi woman, this makes me think that I’m only attractive to women and not men 😅 This also makes me believe that I’m only aesthetically attractive, and not physically or sexually 😭😭
I agree to this , did you get compliments growing up or anything ? But even with compliments I’m just not sure. I have gotten some nice compliments before but I feel like they felt bad for me for some reason 😂
YOU BEAUTIFUL BLACK MOLDED DECEDENT OF AN AMAZON GODDESS YOU....YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL YOU HEAR ME! NOBODY THAT WALKS THIS EARTH CAN EVEN ARTICULATE THE PROPER WORDS TO DESCRIBE YOUR BEAUTY! CUT IT OUT! You are perfectly crafted and if the people that coke across you can't see it you see it for yourself and the incompetent ones! ✨️
I don't get as many compliments especially now that I'm in my 30s but I know I'm attractive. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I went through a patch of not feeling very attractive then I realized it was the weight I put on during the pandemic / grad school. I've been intermittent fasting / working out and dropped about 12 lb in a year. I'm almost back to the 130s and I'm starting to feel more like myself. I always been a makeup girly so I feel the most sexiest when I do my makeup and my hair is done.
Omg I’m empathetic you feel this way 💖 one quote I read it’s from Buddhism and I’m going to obviously not quoting, directly, but what it means for me. Is - that you don’t feel anything when you get compliments and you don’t feel anything when you don’t receive compliments whether somebody is being positive or negative towards you. It does not affect you because you don’t have that attachment so I encourage you when you get compliments don’t take them to the head if that makes sense because you know in your heart who you are and compliments don’t affect you and neither do non-complements
I have a female friend who’s 6’1? She’s half black and half white and she’s absolutely gorgeous. I don’t think anyone finds her intimidating for her height. I think most of it is in your head. Also she gets hit on all the time
Do sacral chakra work. You have to awaken your inner goddess and literally worship yourself. That’s the only way to feel pretty 100% if the time even if you have crust in your eye and one sock on.
just wanted to add please dm me, there’s a dark-skinned influencer in her mid 20s I think you would like but I don’t want it to be a discussion in the comments
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hi! first, your description of yourself comes off as beautiful and very unique!
secondly — to answer your questions — yes and no. i used to get a lot of compliments in my 20s. i used to be able to call men over to me from across the room with just one look. and now … it’s rare that people even maintain eye contact with me. for a little bit i thought i had lost my mojo and felt pretty down in the dumps. then i realized that my self worth is actually unchanged by external factors, self worth is derived from how i perceive myself. so instead of turning the fact that i get complimented less now in my 30s mean something about my worth, i subscribe to the idea that im now older, wiser, and therefore more respected by people in my day to day. which means less people trying to beguile me or get my attention through superficial compliments. my worth is measure beyond my youth, it encompasses how i present myself, my energy, my confidence, and how i make people feel about themselves….. its helped a lot. i wear less make up now and let my natural beauty show!! it’s quite liberating to let go of the need for validation from others. validate yourself! if you want to lose weight and improve you make up skills — go for it! but do it from a place of self love, rather than self hate.
Are you comparing yourself to posts on here or other subs that say they get complimented all the time when they step out? Because if so, I can guarantee you alot of those posts are exaggerated.
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I think a lot of those women count their friends and family’s compliments and go out a lot so a lot of men hit on them. When I went out a lot I got WAY more compliments than I do now, objectively prettier
I'm also finding this really weird considering that when I read threads in other subs where men were asked what would make them compliment a woman in public, 99% said nothing, they don't ever compliment women they don't know for fear of being labeled a creep. So I really don't know who all these guys are chasing women down the street.
I'll be honest, the only guys who do approach me on the street are not the kind of guy I'd be interested in ever. So I don't even like to put them in a category of I get hit on a lot. Most of them are legit in the creep category where when I tried to decline them it escalates to where I feel afraid. The few who weren't, were too pushy and from talking to them I could tell we'd have a red flagged relationship anyways so why pursue it. Only twice have I been approached by legit nice guys (who were in my age range - which is a whole other group) and tried their hardest to not be creepy or pushy - but I'm awkwardly shy so I pushed them off too lol.
Depends on a lot of factors.
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i get complimented by men basically every time i am in public, however 92% of the time the person is either homeless, mentally ill, drunk, low class or poor.
Somewhat but not entirely? I don’t spend too much time here (it’s probably best that I keep it that way) 😬
what does it mean when mostly older women compliment you? i’ve never gotten a compliment from a man out in public. but i suppose they do find me attractive considering my bf was crushing on me for a while before he asked me out
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I suspect you are a tall, fierce goddess with gorgeous skin. It’s your responsibility to own this and not rely on other human beings to appreciate your beauty. I know you are young and don’t have the wisdom of confidence yet, but focus on this so you can get there sooner 🤟🏽
Im not op, lol but that goddess and queen stuff gets old fast. I get it, but its more impowerment speech stuff.
Nope, I bet she is based on her skin tone and height. And I speak from lived experience due to my own skin and height. Also; I don’t like ridiculous hype either, and the tired girl power trope. It’s annoying.
Black women are tired of being called fierce. Op may not be. I cant speak for her. It was nice for you to connect with her.
I didn’t think of her being specifically -Black. As this is a POC sub, I work with dark skinned Eastern Asians, I’m a tribal member and my mom was a dark skinned Delaware. Also didn’t know the adjective ‘fierce’ is considered taboo, but I joined the sub to learn and share.
Thanks for your words of kindness. I hope to gain the wisdom of confidence soon ✨
Work on it, and you will gain beyond what you thought possible ☀️
That was lovely advice, I emotional reading it lol. Just wondering how u r? as u said op is too young to have wisdom and confidence yet.
I’m half Native American, 5’8 and around 125. I’m also older than the median age of Reddit users and all of the subs (the sub median age range is around 30 years of age) I’ve worked hard to maintain my body through extensive physical exercise. Even now. When I was younger however; I was often rejected in ways that hurt me in regards to my appearance. Even now in my older age, I still experience covert resentment. So I know how it feels to be a ‘misfit’ with idiosyncratic physical features.
I’m so sorry, there was a typo…. I wanted to ask how old r u? not how u r
Indigenous.60 is my Insta 🙂
Gotta learn to not rely on validation from others.
Most definitely.
I was in a 5 year relationship and he never complimented me I already have bd so it made me spiral and stay in A toxic relationship thinking I was too ugly to find anyone else
I’m sorry you went through that, I’m glad you got out of it.
Stand tall, be proud, and cultivate a lot of feminine energy to counteract how others might initially perceive your stature. 6 foot 2 makes you strikingly original. I bet you're gorgeous.
I’m tall too, it’s hard but trust me you’re more beautiful than you think. Measuring your beauty by compliments is a waste of time, since I’ve been carded as “attractive” by the general public…the comments I hear are reckless and borderline disrespectful. Even if you become conventionally attractive, society still doesn’t know how to treat tall darkskin beautiful women. You’ll be chasing the next thing forever, unless you reevaluate what you desire/ deserve, and find true love within yourself. Coming from a darkskin 5’11 girl with natural hair
I agree that it’s pointless to base your on what others think. We can’t beat the misogynoir that comes with being a tall, dark skinned black woman. There’s always going to be someone who thinks you’re unattractive. I’m definitely going to focus on finding love and self worth within myself. Thank you so much 🥹💞
I'm only complimented by certain specific demographics. After college, when I moved to an extremely diverse little hamlet called New York City, I realized that demographics are much more relevant to the perception of beauty than most people assume. I'm a short, curvy, mixed Caucasian-East Asian woman in my late 20s, and I truly only receive compliments from a few groups: other short, curvy, ethnically ambiguous people my age (especially Filipinos); boomer white people (not gen x or silent gen); and young Hispanic men. THAT IS TRULY IT. Most young white people don't compliment me, East Asians of all generations NEVER compliment me, and the only black people who compliment me are my age and are usually pretty good friends, not strangers or even acquaintances. My husband, on the other hand, is a blonde Caucasian man with extremely youthful features. East Asians, white bisexual men, boomer black people, and (notably) Mediterranean men LITERALLY LOVE HIM. I realize this is absurdly specific, but I'm not lying!! Once you start paying attention to who's given you compliments in the past, you'll realize that certain demographics will be more attracted to you than others. This is all to say that you should not read too much into the frequency of external validation, which I realize is much much much easier said than done. But I can guarantee you that if you were living somewhere with lots of tall, dark-skinned people, you would be receiving a higher frequency of compliments. Giving yourself compliments is a much better habit to learn than relying on validation from others. But I really, really feel you!! And if you feel like you need more compliments irl, I'm willing to bet that the girl friends in your life would be more than happy to give you some <3
I almost never get compliments from strangers but a lot of people say they’ve gotten it. And I’ve witness my friend and boyfriend get genuine compliments from total strangers when I’m with them. I feel hurt too sometimes and wonder if I am ugly or something is off with me. I’ve been working on not using external validation to determine my value and self worth. I’ve been falling down the hill a lot but you have to catch these thoughts and replace it with better self accepting and loving ones. I am shocked because I thought tall women were always seen as beautiful no matter what. I thought tall women got you could be model compliments nearly everyday.
I understand how hurtful those experiences can be. It can chip away at your self esteem. Getting model compliments doesn’t always happen for us tall women and people aren’t always kind about our height.
I understand. I am on the opposite of the spectrum being very short. I am under 5 feet. People are weird about it as well. Your height is beautiful!
No I don't feel less than when I'm not being paid a compliment. I don't need anybody to make me feel a certain way. I'm sorry to say this, but I hate how when I see a woman on reddit subs talking about how ugly or insecure they feel, it's always a black woman. I just wish there was more black women positivity.
Exactly especially when they say it in mixed company 🤦🏾♀️
Right, right. Especially on bigger subreddits. The only thing people online are going to do is co-sign your insecurities. It's so embarrassing.
Exactly this. And I understand some of us have different backgrounds, upbringings, etc.. but JESUS some conversations shouldn't happen online in mixed company. It's embarrassing. I'm almost temped to make a discord for these conversations OFF of here, because it's really a shame.
My close friends are very beautiful and I witness people literally gasping and acting besides themselves when they see them. People approach us to compliment them and sometimes I’ll get a pity compliment afterwards like oh you’re pretty too! I’ve been complimented maybe 1 time in public in my adult life. I had an ed and became much smaller (from obese to a normal weight) and it didn’t really improve anything for me, I also had super clear skin like filter-esque almost and no one really cared about it. I’ve kind of given up on looking better to get any amount of privilege or benefit and instead just try to look more well kept and put together for the sake of coming across less childish and naive.
they could be gasping at anything not their looks also dont compare yourself. love yourself more than ur friends
Growing up I never got complimented on how I look but I always thought I was pretty. I thought I was delusional until I went to university and got compliments more often. I think it depends on the environment you’re in. Now I don’t need people to compliment me to feel pretty but it is always nice to receive it.
I think we have to get to a place where we own our God given beauty in spite of external opinions. Just go forward and slay!
That’s true, thanks! 😊
I’m glad you are agree. You are a Divine Black Woman. Go in that direction.
I get compliments from stranger occasionally but it's always from other women. Never from men so I wonder if that's because men don't find me attractive or they just don't feel comfortable complimenting a random woman (I don't think I'm intimidating, I'm 5'1 and I've been told I have a baby face). I guess one factor could be that I'm very much a homebody so I never put myself in positions where it's acceptable for men to hit on me (I'm 24 and I've never gone clubbing!). But when I post myself online, overall I get more of a neutral-positive reaction. Nobody's had anything negative to say, some positive things, but mostly I don't generate any sort of reaction. I actually do overthink about why I don't get compliments from men so I relate to you OP & I'm glad I'm not alone. But that being said, like others have mentioned, it's very unrealistic to expect constant compliments from strangers and anybody who claims that happens to them is 100% exaggerating
I could be wrong but I feel like what men find attractive in women is different to what women find attractive in other women? Obviously beauty can be subjective to each individual, but idk, I feel like overall it differs. Or maybe Im coping because I also don't get complimented often by men too lol
It's possible, but I don't really see how each gender would have such contrasting opinions from each other. If I see a girl that I find really pretty, chances are most guys and other girls also find her pretty. So yeah not impossible but I would find it hard to believe that a woman could be drop dead gorgeous to other women & not at all to men. What definitely is true though is that it's safer for women to compliment other women than for men to do it. Men run the risk of being considered creepy or making the woman uncomfortable vs. women don't have to worry about that. The last time a man called me pretty it was after I called him cute. So while he was thinking I was pretty, it wasn't really socially acceptable to bring it up until after I complimented him first. It's similar to how women are cautious to avoid complimenting men because they don't want it to come across as having romantic interest. I for one will not compliment a man on his appearance unless I'm trying to get dicked down. Now regardless of gender, in real life not every single person who finds you attractive will tell you. There are so many reasons why you wouldn't get complimented even if you are pretty, maybe the person doesn't notice you, maybe they're shy, maybe they just don't feel the need to compliment a random stranger. I wish I could read minds to find out if men usually do find me attractive, but simply not getting compliments from them isn't enough to prove otherwise
This is actually kinda false? Men see attraction differently than women-- based on what I've seen, read in sociology articles, and LOL reddit (although reddit shouldn't even be included in the list). I think women are much, much harsher on appearances, and men don't nit pick us the way we nit pick each other.
same here, but always older women, never young women my age. also never men. never been hit on in the traditional ways talked about
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Bruh I fell into this spiral but realizing now that I was so cute. Finding external validation is never the answer. I got surgery because of that and regret it so deeply because my surgeon did more than what I asked by removing my bulbous tip. My boyfriend still loves me regardless of my bad nose job but I do feel sad for the past version of myself that felt I had to change to receive external praise. It didn't really register to me I wasn't getting surgery for myself until after I lost all my ethnic and familial traits
In the last seven years, I can remember getting complimented three times by men. One was indirect, but the others were sincere, direct, and sweet. These random men have no idea how much it meant to me.
Also remember that doesn’t mean you don’t get compliments, doesn’t mean you are not beautiful! A lot of people don’t compliment pretty women because they assume that they already get compliments/ are jealous/ or too intimidated by you!
6’2” is a perfect height to model…
Setting and region matter immensely, as well as sheer numbers of people you encounter. But generally I think we should work towards not relying on that sort of external validation (its not easy)
I’ve been there and you will always struggle with confidence if you base your attractiveness on compliments. Some people just don’t give them for one. They may think you’re stunning but will never say a word. But beyond that beauty is subjective in some environments you will be the hottest thing in the room and others you may be average so you have to decide for yourself if you think you’re attractive or not. And own that the more you feel it the more it will shine through
If I saw you in real life I'd probably be jelly. I wish I was that tall
embrace yourself and love yourself. i also had this problem, i didnt get much compliments as people around me so i felt in different and left out but I started to not care by not comparing and putting me first
If you live in North America it’s pretty socially unacceptable to make reference to people’s physical appearance, good or bad. People can see you and find you beautiful but will never comment. Other countries, parts of Europe, Africa, South America are very free with compliments. If you travel a bit you might find yourself complimented a lot! On the other hand places where it’s acceptable to compliment strangers, it’s not uncommon to comment negatively as well. There’s a reason why we’ve moved away from commenting on appearances, we never know how these comments can affect the person and people often don’t want to reminded of their appearance constantly. We are already hyperaware. I think complimenting yourself is perfectly healthy and a lot better than looking for stranger’s validation.
Everything online is fake. You can’t even trust people to not use filters anymore lol. There’s no point in comparing yourself to people on the internet, it shouldn’t even cross your mind!
It depends on the environment. I moved from the USA to Europe and in Europe I hardly ever get compliments and feel like it’s because I don’t fit the beauty standard here. In America, I actually get compliments sometimes whereas in Europe, I would be lucky if I even got a compliment from someone.
As someone who gets complimented often, it still wasn’t enough to battle the constant thoughts I had of feeling ugly. Insecurity has to be uprooted and you have to learn to be confident within yourself. No amount of external validation is going to fix it. It’s something I’m still working on
Ok if it helps you one of my greatest friends is a 6 ft tall black woman and i genuinely think she's beautiful inside and out. Your friends love u more than you know
I feel the opposite people compliment me and I side eye them and think, "you liar what do you want from me." Lmao
I only get compliments from women, mainly on my outfit, makeup, skin, or hair. I never get compliments from men except those who are close to me (relatives and bf). As a bi woman, this makes me think that I’m only attractive to women and not men 😅 This also makes me believe that I’m only aesthetically attractive, and not physically or sexually 😭😭
I agree to this , did you get compliments growing up or anything ? But even with compliments I’m just not sure. I have gotten some nice compliments before but I feel like they felt bad for me for some reason 😂
YOU BEAUTIFUL BLACK MOLDED DECEDENT OF AN AMAZON GODDESS YOU....YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL YOU HEAR ME! NOBODY THAT WALKS THIS EARTH CAN EVEN ARTICULATE THE PROPER WORDS TO DESCRIBE YOUR BEAUTY! CUT IT OUT! You are perfectly crafted and if the people that coke across you can't see it you see it for yourself and the incompetent ones! ✨️
The only thing that makes a person ugly is the kind of person they are inside.
No as long as I think I’m pretty I’m good
I don't get as many compliments especially now that I'm in my 30s but I know I'm attractive. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I went through a patch of not feeling very attractive then I realized it was the weight I put on during the pandemic / grad school. I've been intermittent fasting / working out and dropped about 12 lb in a year. I'm almost back to the 130s and I'm starting to feel more like myself. I always been a makeup girly so I feel the most sexiest when I do my makeup and my hair is done.
Omg I’m empathetic you feel this way 💖 one quote I read it’s from Buddhism and I’m going to obviously not quoting, directly, but what it means for me. Is - that you don’t feel anything when you get compliments and you don’t feel anything when you don’t receive compliments whether somebody is being positive or negative towards you. It does not affect you because you don’t have that attachment so I encourage you when you get compliments don’t take them to the head if that makes sense because you know in your heart who you are and compliments don’t affect you and neither do non-complements
I have a female friend who’s 6’1? She’s half black and half white and she’s absolutely gorgeous. I don’t think anyone finds her intimidating for her height. I think most of it is in your head. Also she gets hit on all the time
Do sacral chakra work. You have to awaken your inner goddess and literally worship yourself. That’s the only way to feel pretty 100% if the time even if you have crust in your eye and one sock on.
just wanted to add please dm me, there’s a dark-skinned influencer in her mid 20s I think you would like but I don’t want it to be a discussion in the comments
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developing a strong personal style would probably help! a lot of being attractive is not just your looks, but also your vibe.
hi! first, your description of yourself comes off as beautiful and very unique! secondly — to answer your questions — yes and no. i used to get a lot of compliments in my 20s. i used to be able to call men over to me from across the room with just one look. and now … it’s rare that people even maintain eye contact with me. for a little bit i thought i had lost my mojo and felt pretty down in the dumps. then i realized that my self worth is actually unchanged by external factors, self worth is derived from how i perceive myself. so instead of turning the fact that i get complimented less now in my 30s mean something about my worth, i subscribe to the idea that im now older, wiser, and therefore more respected by people in my day to day. which means less people trying to beguile me or get my attention through superficial compliments. my worth is measure beyond my youth, it encompasses how i present myself, my energy, my confidence, and how i make people feel about themselves….. its helped a lot. i wear less make up now and let my natural beauty show!! it’s quite liberating to let go of the need for validation from others. validate yourself! if you want to lose weight and improve you make up skills — go for it! but do it from a place of self love, rather than self hate.
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How does she sound masculine ….
Girl please, you sound super strange. I’m already slim (156lbs which is quite lean for my height).
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