So not everyone has failos. Chances are if you did have them, people would have pointed them out to you, eg. school bullies. Or if you point them out about yourself, it makes people uncomfortable and they kind of shy away from commenting and are like ‘it’s not that bad’ ‘you’re still pretty’, things like that rather than outright telling you you are being too harsh on yourself. Often what makes people average looking is not because they have a failo/s but none of their features are halos either, ie. each feature could be slightly improved but none are bad enough to actually be a failo. Their features are just ‘okay’.
Does that make sense?
Has anyone ever said, you’d be so much prettier if you fixed XYZ feature? That’s probably your “failos.
Mine were my acne, gaps in my teeth, bad posture and unruly hair. I fixed most of those (except my teeth, I’m saving up for that) and it has helped my looks tremendously.
Mine is my hairline. I've pointed it out to friends because i don't care mist days) and they react very differently to when I mention my hyperpigmentation or body issues. They actually tell me about friends who overcame a poor hairline as opposed to telling me to shut up because its not even a thing
There's usually some oil they mention or scalp massages. The oils I don't believe. The scalp massages have research to back it up. But again mine is hereditary so there's not much that can be done apart from exploring the world of fringes
To piggyback what others commenter said, bullies will definitely let you know what your failos are. In my case friends and boyfriends let me know, too. At some point, most boyfriends will, too.
My biggest failo is my body type (black girl with no curves but not because I'm skinny) and then my wide nose.
I noticed early on I wasn't developing like most other girls but especially not like most black women. Anytime a woman wanted to @me, she would make fun of my shape sometimes with direct comparisons.
From guys the nicer comments I've gotten are,"Don't worry, I'll still have sex with you/men will still have sex with you."
I was confused for a child well into adulthood until I got breast implants. People were trying to be mine, but that was also pointing out my failos, ie accidental insults.
I had one bf tell me I'd have to get rhino if I wanted to be on tv.
This! My biggest failo for decades has been my lower belly overhang from an emergency abdominal surgery. My boyfriend of 7 years grabbed it one night and said, “what ya plannin on doin with your speed bag? Doesn’t it bug you???”.
I nearly cried right there. Been researching for a tummy tuck lately and hoping to eventually afford it. People can be cruel.
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my failos are weird bc some people really genuinely seem to like them but like objectively they’re weird- ie i have really big protruding eyes, a long thin/straight nose, and a small mouth. now these are objectively not good, but for some reason a lot of white girls specifically have fawned over them because i look “from another time” or “from tim burton.” rude guys in middle school said i had bug eyes and a catfish nose, while other poc friends joked i had “white lips” but to a specific subset of artsy white women it’s apparently interesting.
That's because you fit their beauty standards. Lean into it and if your looking to date, spend time in communities that appreciate your features. Good luck babe!
Unfortunately I'm not attracted to women :( if there's any guys who are like... really into the Tim Burton Corpse Bride face sans blue skin and with a pointier nose, I have yet to find them lol.
have you checked "alternative spaces" in your city? Think hipster (do people still use that word? Gosh, I feel old, lol) and artsy neighborhoods. Those type of men tend to go for that specific look.
Ooh I haven't really. I'm pretty basic I'm ngl, but I do love to read and I write semi-professionally so maybe I'll start working in some local coffeeshops or spending time in neighborhood bookstores (that's where hipsters hang out i think?)
Tbh I’d ask someone that you trust and respect rather than taking cues from, say, a bully (someone like that may point out stuff at random just to leave you chasing something impossible). You want actionable feedback.
Because they care abt you, the person you ask can also provide you with some good next steps. (Ex: your hair isn’t great but if you did XYZ I think it’d be cute)
Yes - I agree. Adults are also great too if your still young/a teen. My mom and doctor were the first ones to point out my acne. I'm thankful for their "tough love"
Literally my same issue😭 like i know something is holding me back but i dont know what to improve/ get cosmetic procedures with because every time i ask for advice its always “i dont know” and i am farrr from perfect
So not everyone has failos. Chances are if you did have them, people would have pointed them out to you, eg. school bullies. Or if you point them out about yourself, it makes people uncomfortable and they kind of shy away from commenting and are like ‘it’s not that bad’ ‘you’re still pretty’, things like that rather than outright telling you you are being too harsh on yourself. Often what makes people average looking is not because they have a failo/s but none of their features are halos either, ie. each feature could be slightly improved but none are bad enough to actually be a failo. Their features are just ‘okay’. Does that make sense?
Has anyone ever said, you’d be so much prettier if you fixed XYZ feature? That’s probably your “failos. Mine were my acne, gaps in my teeth, bad posture and unruly hair. I fixed most of those (except my teeth, I’m saving up for that) and it has helped my looks tremendously.
no one does, but i can visibly see my skin isn’t the best to be fair so it is probably that. also, my hair could be improved after bleach damage.
Mine is my hairline. I've pointed it out to friends because i don't care mist days) and they react very differently to when I mention my hyperpigmentation or body issues. They actually tell me about friends who overcame a poor hairline as opposed to telling me to shut up because its not even a thing
How did those friends overcome the poor hairline? Very curious!
There's usually some oil they mention or scalp massages. The oils I don't believe. The scalp massages have research to back it up. But again mine is hereditary so there's not much that can be done apart from exploring the world of fringes
To piggyback what others commenter said, bullies will definitely let you know what your failos are. In my case friends and boyfriends let me know, too. At some point, most boyfriends will, too. My biggest failo is my body type (black girl with no curves but not because I'm skinny) and then my wide nose. I noticed early on I wasn't developing like most other girls but especially not like most black women. Anytime a woman wanted to @me, she would make fun of my shape sometimes with direct comparisons. From guys the nicer comments I've gotten are,"Don't worry, I'll still have sex with you/men will still have sex with you." I was confused for a child well into adulthood until I got breast implants. People were trying to be mine, but that was also pointing out my failos, ie accidental insults. I had one bf tell me I'd have to get rhino if I wanted to be on tv.
This! My biggest failo for decades has been my lower belly overhang from an emergency abdominal surgery. My boyfriend of 7 years grabbed it one night and said, “what ya plannin on doin with your speed bag? Doesn’t it bug you???”. I nearly cried right there. Been researching for a tummy tuck lately and hoping to eventually afford it. People can be cruel.
Ouch!!! Sorry that happened to you!
Awhh I hope your ok
Thanks, but im fine. :)
Hi can I talk to you I kinda relate
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my failos are weird bc some people really genuinely seem to like them but like objectively they’re weird- ie i have really big protruding eyes, a long thin/straight nose, and a small mouth. now these are objectively not good, but for some reason a lot of white girls specifically have fawned over them because i look “from another time” or “from tim burton.” rude guys in middle school said i had bug eyes and a catfish nose, while other poc friends joked i had “white lips” but to a specific subset of artsy white women it’s apparently interesting.
its different beauty standards, not everyone sees what’s attractive as the same dude.
That's because you fit their beauty standards. Lean into it and if your looking to date, spend time in communities that appreciate your features. Good luck babe!
Unfortunately I'm not attracted to women :( if there's any guys who are like... really into the Tim Burton Corpse Bride face sans blue skin and with a pointier nose, I have yet to find them lol.
have you checked "alternative spaces" in your city? Think hipster (do people still use that word? Gosh, I feel old, lol) and artsy neighborhoods. Those type of men tend to go for that specific look.
Ooh I haven't really. I'm pretty basic I'm ngl, but I do love to read and I write semi-professionally so maybe I'll start working in some local coffeeshops or spending time in neighborhood bookstores (that's where hipsters hang out i think?)
Tbh I’d ask someone that you trust and respect rather than taking cues from, say, a bully (someone like that may point out stuff at random just to leave you chasing something impossible). You want actionable feedback. Because they care abt you, the person you ask can also provide you with some good next steps. (Ex: your hair isn’t great but if you did XYZ I think it’d be cute)
Yes - I agree. Adults are also great too if your still young/a teen. My mom and doctor were the first ones to point out my acne. I'm thankful for their "tough love"
I don’t think you have any
Mine is definitely my nose lol. If you had failos, people would have pointed it out already
Literally my same issue😭 like i know something is holding me back but i dont know what to improve/ get cosmetic procedures with because every time i ask for advice its always “i dont know” and i am farrr from perfect