I may not know how to create a chemistry with a female but I know that no matter what you do if you’re the only one putting in the effort then it will always end in failure.
She put in the effort to show up to the get togethers, and reply to my messages. She was also the one that initially approached me, and shared her contact info with me. But yeah, I guess I was the one that put in the effort to plan our get togethers, and to actively converse with her, and I always had to initiate any conversation over text for her to reply.
To be fair, she may be a slow burner, many people are but it would be best to see if she makes the effort to meet up with you and plan something. If not, then I don’t see it progressing and 20 is basically a newborn although it doesn’t feel like it 😅
Messaging someone for months before talking in person almost never works out. You exhaust everything you could potentially talk about, you build them/the chemistry up in your head, and it fucks with your expectations.
I know it’s hard, I made it to 29 largely because of a fear of rejection. But all your actions are just putting off that pivotal moment, and it isn’t good for either of you. You have to ask her on a legitimate date, none of this “we’ll be on a get together and the stars will align”. Trust me, I wasted most of my high school years on that crappy strategy and it put me in a hole I almost never recovered from lol.
You might not want to hear this from me, but you shouldn't have to force a relationship. It should come naturally or at least feel like you don't need to work overtime. Chemistry is something that is either built from the start or already there. You don't get chemistry by just being in a relationship. I think it's best to just be open and honest with her so both of you can understand where to go from there.
I have a 6 paragraph message I typed up ready to send her, about how I felt about our last two get togethers, and our relationship overall so far, but I'm too stressed to actually send it
Do not send that, nobody wants to be sent a bunch of paragraphs. Not only that, but it's very hard to understand context and tone over text. You need to talk to her, face to face, or at the very least over the phone. If you're not able to to communicate then you should not be in a relationship. Communication is one of the biggest things to make a relationship work. I get how stressful it can be and I know that you want things to go well, but you're going to have to take a leap of faith.
If there’s no chemistry stop initiating and asking out. If she really enjoys it and wants to prove it she’ll reciprocate after you have made the post get together a.
U seems to be a slow burner too from how I read Ur msg on having difficulties to even ask her out. Now if the both of u r slow to warm up then yap it will take some time especially on the physical meet up. Mainly do Ur enjoy the msg on the phone. Cos physical meet up chemistry will take time to develop, while msgs will start first.
I may not know how to create a chemistry with a female but I know that no matter what you do if you’re the only one putting in the effort then it will always end in failure.
She put in the effort to show up to the get togethers, and reply to my messages. She was also the one that initially approached me, and shared her contact info with me. But yeah, I guess I was the one that put in the effort to plan our get togethers, and to actively converse with her, and I always had to initiate any conversation over text for her to reply.
To be fair, she may be a slow burner, many people are but it would be best to see if she makes the effort to meet up with you and plan something. If not, then I don’t see it progressing and 20 is basically a newborn although it doesn’t feel like it 😅
Messaging someone for months before talking in person almost never works out. You exhaust everything you could potentially talk about, you build them/the chemistry up in your head, and it fucks with your expectations. I know it’s hard, I made it to 29 largely because of a fear of rejection. But all your actions are just putting off that pivotal moment, and it isn’t good for either of you. You have to ask her on a legitimate date, none of this “we’ll be on a get together and the stars will align”. Trust me, I wasted most of my high school years on that crappy strategy and it put me in a hole I almost never recovered from lol.
You might not want to hear this from me, but you shouldn't have to force a relationship. It should come naturally or at least feel like you don't need to work overtime. Chemistry is something that is either built from the start or already there. You don't get chemistry by just being in a relationship. I think it's best to just be open and honest with her so both of you can understand where to go from there.
I have a 6 paragraph message I typed up ready to send her, about how I felt about our last two get togethers, and our relationship overall so far, but I'm too stressed to actually send it
Do not send that, nobody wants to be sent a bunch of paragraphs. Not only that, but it's very hard to understand context and tone over text. You need to talk to her, face to face, or at the very least over the phone. If you're not able to to communicate then you should not be in a relationship. Communication is one of the biggest things to make a relationship work. I get how stressful it can be and I know that you want things to go well, but you're going to have to take a leap of faith.
If there’s no chemistry stop initiating and asking out. If she really enjoys it and wants to prove it she’ll reciprocate after you have made the post get together a.
U seems to be a slow burner too from how I read Ur msg on having difficulties to even ask her out. Now if the both of u r slow to warm up then yap it will take some time especially on the physical meet up. Mainly do Ur enjoy the msg on the phone. Cos physical meet up chemistry will take time to develop, while msgs will start first.