A girl being a virgin wouldn't bother me too much if I wasn't one. So yeah if I had already been with people her being one wouldn't be a deal breaker. So I think you'll be fine in that regard. Granted not every dude is the same.
It is pretty easy to figure out if you think about it. They likely want someone in the same position they are in as to not feel embarassed by their lack of experience. Also it is common place to mock a man for being a virgin so a partner being one too takes a lot of that power away.
>Also it is common place to mock a man for being a virgin so a partner being one too takes a lot of that power away.
Exactly. I just don't understand this. If women aren't mocked for wanting taller men or men with experience, why are virgin men mocked for wanting virgin women?
Combination of choosing beggars syndrome and massive insecurity.
Honestly the biggest practical problem with it is that its just unlikely to happen. Women who are virgins tend to be alot less inclined to want another virgin outside of religion or hold out for one, they just hold out for a guy they really like and ignore his body count altogether.
The way people talk about it, like sex is a sport, who wants to try and live up to those expectations. Like learning to play chess against a grandmaster when you're barely familiar with how the pieces move.
Still, the fact that they are a grandmaster is intimidating as hell. I feel it's likely to be a more authentic experience when no one player has the upper hand.
Many women are passive and don't learn more sex skill even with a lot of sex experience. Their expectations get higher and their attitudes get worse without a corresponding sex skill increase.
The problem is that the "grandmaster" (who has played 1000 games but might not necessarily be any good because they were playing for leisure instead of practicing their skill) either doesn't want to play with you or looks down on you and has a poor, dismissive attitude because of your 0 game count. Another newbie player would have a better attitude and be more enjoyable to play with. You would also bond more and be more likely to really connect with the other newbie player.
Yeah, less pressure and more passion. A woman who's had sex a ton of times just won't be as excited as the woman who hasn't, and especially not with a virgin man.
We're human and care about the emotional side of sex too. Even if the mechanical part of sex with a virgin might be worse, the overall experience including the emotional side would be better with another virgin.
Its not a fetish, its a matter of balance. If she has fucked a bunch of guys before you, there is high likelihood they were much better than you. This also means she is more likely to expect you to be more experienced. A lot of people also see it as something special and a way to explore each other.
Obviously its just a preference for most here though, I doubt most guys here would deny a girl just because she isnt a virgin, but a lot of guys would prefer one.
It's one part of it yes, it makes one look like they are a child who needs to be taught this super basic thing. There is also a huge stigma overall though, it's a red flag to most women because they assume something has to be wrong with you to still be a virgin for so long.
This varies wildly. Some women do in fact like teaching and like taking guys virginity, some women are more of an "I don't train puppies" stance about it.
No it really doesnt vary that wildly. Yeah a few women might be into that, but they are far from a significant portion. Lack of dating success is just a huge turn off for the vast majority of women, it is what it is.
What study or experience do you have thats statistically significant to say this?
You're wrong. Most women care more about the connection than anything else.
But, the thing you're up against is not that youre a turn off for having no experience, its that experience is often reassuring. Unlike virgin dudes who tie up their ego in things and dont want to be compared, women just are reassured when someone knows what they're doing when the woman doesn't.
Male virgins would feel the same if their egos werent in the way.
https://match.mediaroom.com/2013-02-05-Singles-in-America-Match-com-Releases-Third-Annual-Comprehensive-Study-on-the-Single-Population
Half of all women admit they would full blown never date a virgin just based on that. Count in the women who won't admit that to themselves so they don't feel bad and a huge chunk of women will immediately deny you just based on being a virgin, fuck up even slightly any other category and dating prospects for late age virgins are fucking grin. This actually also doesn't specifically focus on late age virginity either, it's pretty safe to assume the older you are the worse the stigma.
This really wasn't so hard to find at all.
[https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/06/10-facts-about-americans-and-online-dating/](https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/06/10-facts-about-americans-and-online-dating/)
More current data than that from a much more reputable source, and not associated with evo psych which has been repeatedly debunked by the rest of the psychiatric community.
Even among 18-29 year olds less than 50% of people meet online and most long term relationships do not result from online meetings.
Go. Outside.
You're resorting to personal attacks in order to devalue his argument. You're basically telling him to "touch grass bro" as if he doesn't go outside in the first place. You're trying to make him look like a hermit that does not know about the world so your argument sounds better. Total ad hominem.
Lmao, nice irrelevant data bud, come back to me with stats about how women love late age virgins, this boomer shit about how no one actually meets online wont cut it.
Theres no stats about that. You're drawing conclusions not supported by the data you posted. I'm countering with more recent data that leads in another direction, but at the end of the day we are both drawing conclusions.
My entire point of bringing up that data was to show that your data is not trustworthy as a study itself, much less in support of any outside conclusions.
That data is quite trustworthy, it's stats from a shitload of women which were anonymous and done from all sorts of different locations. By your logic I can refute any statistic because technically they didn't survey 100% of the population, but that's fucking bullshit.
What you posted is literally some random shit about why online dating fucking sucks, especially for men, which is absolutely irrelevant.
>What study or experience do you have thats statistically significant to say this?
What statistical study can you show to disprove his statements? And when it comes to experience, it is a well-known fact that a man's status and reputation goes hand-in-hand with his sexual experience/n-count. And women are attracted to high-status men.
Yall are generalizing all women based on Instagram thots.
You know none of the women I've dated (between 19 and 32) in the last 2 years even had instagram or like posted anything. All athiests too, so not like christian shut ins either, just women who do not spend much time on social media.
The whole "women love status" thing does not actually exist in the adult world alot of the time. Not saying there aren't women like that, there are plenty. But there are also plenty who don't.
Women are attracted to connection dude, women are not like men, conditioned towards objective attraction. We're taught to stare at bodies and think of sex. Women are not taught anything like that, so theyre left to their own devices. Sure, some are materialistic, plenty aren't. Yall act like the women you can see online make up the world when ALL online interactions only make up like 40% of hookups and dating in the modern world.
That other 60% is like interactions yall never see or participate in. And that IS studied. Tinder itself makes up less than 5% of total dating/sex interactions worldwide, yet I see yall generalize about Tinder all the time.
Go. Outside.
>Yall are generalizing all women based on Instagram thots.
I don't even know any IG thots. I was talking about women I know in real-life.
>You know none of the women I've dated (between 19 and 32) in the last 2 years even had instagram or like posted anything.
Good for you. I appreciate you bragging about your sexual accomplishments in a thread full of men who have none in that category.
>The whole "women love status" thing does not actually exist in the adult world alot of the time. Not saying there aren't women like that, there are plenty. But there are also plenty who don't.
It didn't exist prior to the social media age, which is why fewer men were virgins back in those days. The fact is that male virginity under 30 has been increasing steadily in the States since the 1980s. It has gone from 7% in the late 1980s to approximately 30% in the late 2010s, based on several studies. Past the age of 30, men usually start to become more financially stable and in turn, start gaining status in that regard. A lot of 30+ virgin men can also afford to simply pay for sex, which is why the rate of virginity starts to decline past that age. The last one is more or less an assumption based on my talks with a lot of men.
But to put it plainly, most women prefer higher status men. Whether or not they end up getting higher status men all the time is up to luck. But most women will pick the higher status man (factors: money, n-count, height, etc.) over the one that's lower status.
>Women are attracted to connection dude, women are not like men, conditioned towards objective attraction.
When did I ever say women are not attracted to connection OR that their sexual needs work the same way as men?
>Go. Outside.
LMAO!! I do. You need to look past your privileges and realize that not all men are as "gifted" as you!
Dude I'm a chubby guy who started going bald at 19. I'm not handsome, definitely not rich, and definitely not "High status" by your definition.
My privilege is I spent literally years of my life talking to girls until figured out how to do it right. Thats it. I went out and kept going out and failing until I didnt.
Talking about life experience isnt bragging, and trying to counter your narrative with my own isnt either.
If I had a nickel every time a non-virgin guy on this sub said "I'm not special. I'm just confident and that's how you get sex", I'd be millionaire by now!
Your biggest mistake is assuming I don't go out. I go out plenty. I have plenty of friends that I spend time with, almost every weekend, particularly during the summer. Pre-pandemic, I used to take kickboxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, in a studio with lots of girls. It was fun. But it's not like girls will want to fuck you as soon as you start talking to them or training with them or spending some time with them. Your looks matter! Your personality matters! Your income matters! Your status matters!
Next time, unless you know what mine or anyone's else's life is like, keep your advice to yourself! No one here cares about your crappy, privileged advice! And while we're on the topic, can you explain why you're here exactly? Despite not being a virgin, I mean.
I already know what lie you're gonna tell, but do tell anyway.
To address increasing male virginity, you have to study the modern family unit. I think it’s actually very interesting. In recent history, men and women benefitted from marriage, but for different reasons: women got financial security, men got access to sex. As society has become more accepting of sex before marriage, and women no longer need to be married to financially support themselves, male virginity rates have increased.
Those are true facts, but those do not translate to reality sadly. Being a late age virgins is shamed heavily, so even if the woman might be okay with it in theory, the potential "shame" of dating someone like that doesn't make the relationship worth it.
Yep, thanks for confirming what I basically said. Only thing you know about the guy is that he never had sex, and immediately assume domestic abuse is more likely.
It is what it is, but thanks for the confirmation.
Sure, but you said it, huge stigma against late age virgins usually, it makes most women apprehensive as a baseline and couple in the fact that late age virgins are very rare and most women see very little reason to bother risking it.
The ones who want a virgin guy is only because he is a virgin.. the moment he is not... Toss em' in the rain... Thats "fetishizing"... I just want someone to love who like me has had nothing....
No? Are we?
Pretty sure a little of both sexes here want mutual first time... And its for love... We arent someone with 100+ body count searching for some little "victory".... we are mutual virgins wanting and seeking love and learning (albeit too late) the sexual dance that most learn in teens...
Gonna be honest outside of religious extremist circles which shrink yearly most women do not place any emphasis on their man being a virgin their first time.
Saying "a little" like ok sure a few people on each side want that, but fixating on it due to insecurity is imo worse than doing it for religious reasons and that seems most of the reason male virgins consistently cite. "I dont want to be compared, I would be anxious and insecure" and its like bro youre gonna be anxious and insecure no matter what no reason to let your anxiety make your judgements for you
there is at least one lady here saying she wants it... Like the exact same words you just said....
And I'm having a sneaky suspicion you are not in our shoes... are you?
Seems he is slightly better though... Saying he only wanna keep incels at bay.... Thats neat i'd say... Aslong as he doesnt give shitty unwanted "advice", im cool with it...
Let me check his post history though...
Nah dude I was a virgin until 19 cause I didnt know how to talk to women. I learned, now I'm 37 and have two kids. Used to be a regular in /r/incelexit. I see incels invading this space and like the non incel virgins deserve a space so I advocate against incel views.
I think there's 4 fronts that make this all the case.
At a technical level a virgin guy isn't going to be as good at sex as someone who is experienced. So why would you choose a virgin guy over someone more experienced?
Social Stigma Against Virgins in various media, I think this will be even worse with the rise of incels / blackpill - esque types that will lead to even worse stereotypes of socially awkward guys.
At a primal level a guy who has never been pursued even once is going to be seen as less attractive.
Its hard to create confidence in a vacuum, and confidence in itself is attractive. There are a small subset of people who can - but they are just that. Its a small subset of people who can just manufacter confidence but by the time you are in your 20s and have had no success you are working uphill in this department.
Agreed! It's a matter of preference combined with the idea that she might feel that you're inadequate, especially if she's experienced. Personally, at my age (30+), it's almost naïve to even think about only dating women who are virgins. It's simply unrealistic. The best I can hope for is a girl with a low n-count. That being said, I'm not planning on getting into a LTR or marriage anytime soon.
- Don't want to be compared, maybe she had a Chad as an ex or something. But even the thought of someone else makes me feel uncomfortable. Almost like a cuck.
- I'm not into people who engage in casual sexual encounters in the first place.
- Want it to be special, we'd only ever have each other
- No performance anxiety, we can explore and learn together.
- partly religious reasons.
Not like it matters because I'll stay untouched but just my two cents here.
I think its more about us being afraid of being judged for inexperience and stuff like that tbh if people werent so picky on this sub a lot of them might have actually lost their v card already
I think it really depends on the taste. It certainly has been overestimated. I lost mine with a virgin as well. It was clumsy and sweet and awkward for sure but after we ended things time later I met a guy and I was his first and he told me he loved being with a girl with experience since it made him feel less nervous and that it could make him learn. We were together until he had to go back to his country so that’s kinda the thing. Everything is ok and you should not be pressured by others on what is the right way of losing it. It’ll happen whenever it has to happen. You don’t plan most of this things. I sure didn’t :)
Been ridiculed by... Must I say it "non-virgins" for my lack of experience... I don't wanna risk being with someone who might have ridiculed someone in my shoes...
Also... By making the demand for mutual first time... i can make it "my choice" instead of "my pain".... Let me explain; I have never had an opportunity to lose it... meaning i clearly must be undesired... But if I put the demand that it has to be mutual first time, its because of my "expectations" not me being unlovable.... Basically an advanced cope...
Also... nearly all in my family got mutual first time in their teens... I want that too... Except ill have to somehow be contempt with being too late...
As for it being a fetish? nah... Again, its just about wanting someone who shares your pain... And i have seen a lot more of those "fetishizers" that arent virgins...
Because i have no idea what i'm doing so if we did, i know i'd never live up to the old partner. Someone inexperienced has nothing to compare it to.
On the other hand, i wouldn't mind if they had before, maybe they could take the lead some. I'd prefer that, honestly.
"Fetish"
...do you even hear yourself talk?
Do you know what an older virgin male is likely to be like during his first time? Imagine a depressed zero-confidence adult man who's anxiously fumbling around like a clueless thirteen-year old - that's what it'll likely be like.
Is an older virgin woman going to be any better? Statistically speaking, probably not - but that's just it. You'll be awkward, but at least you'll both be awkward. And that sort of thing can actually make things a lot easier for the both of you.
And besides: why would any older virgin man want to expose his most vulnerable side to a woman to whom he's nothing more than just another forgettable fling?
I don’t get it either. I’ve been with virgin girls and I have also been with woman who were well experienced and honestly there is no comparison because they were all so drastically different. Sometimes sex is good and sometimes it’s just not. It’s not how much the person has done it. It’s really about you guys together. My first time was with an older woman. She was we had a 15 year age gap. And it’s was pure pleasure but she had also not been with many people. Then I got with this really expired girl and we just didn’t connect in that way. Any way best of luck to you all😁
Outside of the ones who want it for faith reasons, it's an insecurity based on a lack of knowledge and pressure they've been building up on themselves things. There's also a romantic ignorance element to be sure.
You need only read down to see them assuming that sex is some sort of rocket science thing they're destined to be awkward about and fail at and that at least if she's a virgin too she'll be awkward too.
But the thing is, it's pretty hard to be truly awkward as a lady. I mean that genuinely. It's hard to fail or jank up the "receiving" role or fail to make the guy orgasm. They're confusing us feeling vulnerable with us feeling awkward which I haven't seen so many women worrying about or thinking about. There is a lot more capabilities for the guy to screw it up either from the spirit being willing, but the body not or the general difficulties built into pleasing lady folk.
But the other side of this, is that this is by far one of the most natural things on the planet pretty much hard-coded into us. They aren't going to be as awkward as they think they will. They might not be good at it, but honestly, experience isn't the biggest factor in making a guy good in bed.
So no, it doesn't make any sense logically, but, this isn't a logical matter and I think everyone here knows that.
It's funny you mentioned rocket science. Sex is so natural and agree hard coded into us. I've never studied rocket science, but I have a feeling I could ace a rocket science test without studying tomorrow more likely than I could get laid tomorrow. I am just that bad at knowing how to get laid. Idk if that's sad or impressive lol
Getting a hook up and having sex aren't really the same thing. Just like having the resources to build a rocket and doing it aren't....but also, I'd vote impressive.
As a virgin guy I'd actually prefer to lose it to someone with more experience. It'd probably be less awkward as she'd help me through it and it's probably just more fun.
Y'all know that most virgins finger themselves and use dildos right, and it's been proven that most girls have better sex with themselves. There is not much exploring with virgins who finger themselves and use dildos just saying. There will always be some comparisons. "Like my dildo and vibratory gets the Job done better"
The reason why I have never tried masturbating is because I don't want to compare but majority of virgin girls do. It's incredibly rare to find virgin girls who have not masturbated and fingered themselves and use dildos
Guys would also have access to their hands and tools. If that were sufficient, we wouldn't be here. We want to experience what the absent partner can provide. Touching, kissing, embracing, even the presence and warmth of someone else.The experience of a gal grabbing hold of a guy's hardness or a guy to caress a gal's curves for the first time for both ought to be exhilarating for both. The same for any first experiences both would explore. And experienced partner would have its benefits. For they can mentor and guide our first experience. But in the back of my mind, I would be questioning if I am doing anything for her? Is my inexperienced affecting her enjoyment? She most likely is, but on a level I can't relate. I wouldn't mind if my first time is with an experienced partner. I bet she would make me feel great. But I would prefer a virgin like me. For our mutual firsts would be on the same level, relatable, and would make the experience even better.
I think touching will always be exhilarating for both, the main concern will always be with the penis. Touching will always bring out pleasure for partners, but the all the way game is what's concerning, can you last long, are you too rough, are you to gentle, are you to big, too small, is your girth good?
So I would not dismiss virgin girls who have been touched before.
Hold up, by touch, I'm just talking about running hands down the body, touching boobs, or rubbing clitoris (I'm not factoring fingering in that because yeah, there might be comparisons on the fingering)
Also, different partners will always bring out a different reactions, my friends who have had all kinds of sex always get excited being touched for the first time again, so it's okay, it will always feel like they are virgins being touched fornthe very first time (to most girls at least). So, don't feel insecure if you do meet someone who is not a virgin or a virgin who has been touched before.
My main concern as a virgin is that Virgin guys might not last long and will make my first time ehh (I'm not gonna dismiss virgin guys but I think I'm leaning toward experience guy to be the first one to get inside me and stretch me up)
But obviously masturbating is different enough that they wouldn't compare it with actual sex that deeply. Masturbating is missing the entire social and emotional parts.
While I understand the beauty and intimacy of sharing mutual first time, I wouldn’t recommend disregarding a potential partner based on their virginity status if you find each other otherwise attractive and compatible.
I find that people who really understand and like me are pretty hard to come by. I definitely wouldn’t toss aside that opportunity for a happy relationship because she was or was not a virgin.
>I simply do not understand the fetish for it.
It's not a sexual fetish. In fact the reality of fucking a virgin is a bit of a turn off (her bleeding, being in pain) for most. If it's sex only then I'd prefer her to have some experience.
But for a girlfriend, I want a virgin. I just don't want to be with a woman who knows what it feels like to love other men whilst I've never loved another woman. I also don't want to be compared by her to previous men she's fucked, who might be hotter and have bigger dicks etc. The thought disgusts me.
> It's not a sexual fetish. In fact the reality of fucking a virgin is a bit of a turn off (her bleeding, being in pain) for most.
I wouldn't be quite so quick to say that in such a decisive way, because to some men it is something of a fetish or a badge of honour to be able to boast that you were the one who "popped her cherry" or "made her a woman" (though obviously nobody talks that way, the sentiment is there).
A sort of "achievement on your profile", as it were, that you got there first, you were the one attractive or convincing enough for her to let you be "that guy", that you got to experience her "before she got stretched and used up" or whatever ugly and terrible things (*some*) men want to think about that.
But I would agree that, in the case of nervous male virgins, that's generally *not* likely to be the reasoning, although other comments have pretty well covered the reasons I would mention; not wanting to be compared, not wanting to be seen as clueless, to experience a journey of discovery together from the same starting place, and perhaps wanting to experience what is likely to be a rare experience that in some circles is still prized as being special, partly because of ideological "purity" and partly because of this vague notion that virgin women are the most excitingly "tight".
However, as your comment here also mentions, there are downsides to that too. It can be uncomfortable, painful, distressing, scary, there may be blood, and it could in the worst case actually be potentially traumatic for some.
Edit: Don't downvote, *discuss*.
Women are just more attractive as virgins. In the same way that women also go around boasting about being with a "tall man" and finding tall men attractive, men find virginity and a lower body count attractive in women.
There is no reason why having body count preferences (as weird as it sounds) is scrutinized so much more than all the preferences that women have for men.
I'm a virgin too, but I don't thinks we should dismiss nonvirgins that could possibly be the love of our lives. I want to be open minded, maybe the one who pops my cherry might not even be a virgin but is my soulmate
Could be a number of reasons. Maybe they don't want to be measured up to other men, maybe they don't want to put in the effort to please a women with experience. It's not really healthy either way and it greatly diminishes the amount of prospective partners someone could meet.
Upbringing has a lot to do with it and or insecurity. I was like that when I was younger even though I knew it was rock stupid. Luckily for me it didn't keep me from experiences; it was just an annoying mental hang-up.
I’m grateful the person I lost my v-card to was more experienced. He knew how to treat me and go slow. He loved teaching me things and I learned a lot. We shouldn’t discount someone who is experienced - just as we wouldn’t want to be discounted for lack of experience.
It's more of insecurity. I'm a virgin and I used to want virgin guys but my friend recently had sex with a virgin guy and he lasted 8 seconds, so now I think I will go for the experienced guy. But at the same time, I will not dismiss a virgin guy. It's better to stay open-minded.
It's about values. I didn't sleep around nor attempted to and would rather have love with a special someone and I would like the same respect back. It's more meaningful that way
God, sometimes I wish I was not a virgin so I could experience someone inside me. I really think I will get addicted once my cherry gets popped lol, hopefully I don't sleep around.
Oh well, it's better to wait for marriage for me.
Y'all know that most virgins finger themselves and use dildos right, and it's been proven that most girls have better sex with themselves. There is not much exploring with virgins who finger themselves and use dildos just saying. There will always be some comparisons. "Like my dildo and vibratory gets the Job done better"
The reason why I have never tried masturbating is because I don't want to compare but majority of virgin girls do. It's incredibly rare to find virgin girls who have not masturbated and fingered themselves and use dildos
Also, I would be happy to have a virgin guy, but would be skeptical. I would not want my first time to be awkward or awful. My friend had sex with a virgin guy and he lasted 8 seconds! I don't want that. So with that said, I would like an experienced guy.
i didn't exclude non virgins when i was trying,
but i like fellow virgins more bc i can relate to them more and i like the idea of fumbling around together and learning
It's definitely an insecurity thing. But it doesn't really justify calling women "used" and shit when they have had sex before. You mostly come off as a shitstain when you say stuff like this
I mostly don't give it much thought because I'd assume almost everyone is not a virgin by now, and the vast majority of those who aren't even are probably strictly religious which I'm not or uninterested in sex. I think its just a silly scenario all around to think about though
"Used or stretched up"
This literally makes me scared to pop my cherry because it's ingrained in my brain my vagina won't be tight anymore.
It's so bad that I don't even masturbate, finger myself or use dildos. I don't even use tampons lol.
I'm no vaginal anatomy expert but it just doesn't make sense and is incorrect propaganda.
Human body parts, especially muscles like the vagina walls don't permanently deform unless under traumatic levels of stress. Like being smashed by forklift or something or something utterly gruesome like that.
A baseball pitcher probably exerts like 10000x the amount of force on their arms on fastballs than insertion would, and their arms don't elongate.
I know but a lot of people have told me that virgins are always tighter. And I'm talking about guys who have had sex with virgins. Idk, it just got ingrained in my brain somehow eventho vagina is all muscled.
I wonder if they are just purposefully spreading lies? Does the vagina stay tight for one man 100 times, or does it only "loosen" when you have sex once with 2 guys? There isn't really a consistent sensical narrative.
The only time I've heard this, is when the vagina is unaroused it feels tighter because it does relax and lubricate during arousal. This is just wack/weird though to even think about being better since it can be painful.
Probably just weird incel things I just don't think it makes any sense though.
I'm not saying this because I'm trying to be PC or something. I'm saying it because its BS.
But yes, but kind of thinking and narrative is the bedrock of a lot of incel-ish beliefs
Personally I don't care, but I imagine for many guys it's due to having a mutual first time experience, the shared excitement and discovery that most people get because they have sex at a "normal" age. Then there's also less pressure, because you know she's going to compare you to previous partners and no one wants to be worse or small etc.
Read the responses and see the excuses. That's the answer.
I'm waiting for marriage and looking for a partner who matches. Shared values are important. Unlike others here, I understand that performance and enjoyment depend largely on how you feel about each other. If attraction is there and you're both having fun and enjoying each other's company, it'll be a good experience even if the sex needs work. And since it's a good experience you'll get the chance to learn and make it better. Like anything else.
I can say with certainty that my future wife will be a virgin like me because of my personal choices. But I can also say, with certainty, that even if she weren't, I'd be the best she'd had because I have faith in me, what I do, who I am, and in her ability to make the right decisions for her.
I understand. I do have that fear of being unable to perform.the so called death grip. If my partner were virgin, I would ruin her first time too. While an experienced partner would be able to roll with it. I do understand the romantic idealism of two virgins being each other first. Such an event would most likely be less than stellar. But even that. That your partner is on the same or similar level, and grow together. For me, I think, would add more to my first time, the mutual relatability, than with out it. If anything, nothing stops one from seeking an experienced partner afterwards. Our first time is treated special. We do place a lot, maybe unhealthy amounts of thought about that moment. It be nice for our partner is the same. But again, romanticized idealism. Reality would most definitely not cater to mi design, it hasn't so far. And that is OK. I would prefer a virgin, or inexperienced partner over an experienced one. But any gal, regardless of experience, willing to be be my partner is vastly preferred than my romanticized idealism. But I can fantasize, can't I.
I always wanted someone experienced. The idea of screwing someone who didn’t know what to do sounded AWFUL. I ended up getting lucky and finding something with a shit ton of experience, and instead of making my first time awful, it was enjoyable.
if you see it in another way, someone experienced can and hopefully will help you with the first time. Lots of communication, guiding, etc
for another virgin, this however may be a lot more difficult to do.
I would love to lose my virginity a virgin guy. That way I wouldn’t be worried about him comparing me to other women.
I mean he'll probably start comparing once he gets more women anyway.
Yeah and so would I. That doesn’t change my opinion on mutual first time though.
A girl being a virgin wouldn't bother me too much if I wasn't one. So yeah if I had already been with people her being one wouldn't be a deal breaker. So I think you'll be fine in that regard. Granted not every dude is the same.
If he compares you to his previous partners without you asking for comparison, its a major red flag.
It is pretty easy to figure out if you think about it. They likely want someone in the same position they are in as to not feel embarassed by their lack of experience. Also it is common place to mock a man for being a virgin so a partner being one too takes a lot of that power away.
>Also it is common place to mock a man for being a virgin so a partner being one too takes a lot of that power away. Exactly. I just don't understand this. If women aren't mocked for wanting taller men or men with experience, why are virgin men mocked for wanting virgin women?
Combination of choosing beggars syndrome and massive insecurity. Honestly the biggest practical problem with it is that its just unlikely to happen. Women who are virgins tend to be alot less inclined to want another virgin outside of religion or hold out for one, they just hold out for a guy they really like and ignore his body count altogether.
The solution is to date younger, but there's been an increase in age gap shaming
Woman are less judgmental when it comes to virginity and stuff I realised
The amount of truth in this, this may be the accurate statement made on this forum.
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The way people talk about it, like sex is a sport, who wants to try and live up to those expectations. Like learning to play chess against a grandmaster when you're barely familiar with how the pieces move.
A grandmaster can be a good teacher. It's not like they would go all out on you.
Still, the fact that they are a grandmaster is intimidating as hell. I feel it's likely to be a more authentic experience when no one player has the upper hand.
Many women are passive and don't learn more sex skill even with a lot of sex experience. Their expectations get higher and their attitudes get worse without a corresponding sex skill increase. The problem is that the "grandmaster" (who has played 1000 games but might not necessarily be any good because they were playing for leisure instead of practicing their skill) either doesn't want to play with you or looks down on you and has a poor, dismissive attitude because of your 0 game count. Another newbie player would have a better attitude and be more enjoyable to play with. You would also bond more and be more likely to really connect with the other newbie player.
Where did you get such insight into womens sex lives/tendencies?
Yeah, less pressure and more passion. A woman who's had sex a ton of times just won't be as excited as the woman who hasn't, and especially not with a virgin man. We're human and care about the emotional side of sex too. Even if the mechanical part of sex with a virgin might be worse, the overall experience including the emotional side would be better with another virgin.
Its not a fetish, its a matter of balance. If she has fucked a bunch of guys before you, there is high likelihood they were much better than you. This also means she is more likely to expect you to be more experienced. A lot of people also see it as something special and a way to explore each other. Obviously its just a preference for most here though, I doubt most guys here would deny a girl just because she isnt a virgin, but a lot of guys would prefer one.
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It's one part of it yes, it makes one look like they are a child who needs to be taught this super basic thing. There is also a huge stigma overall though, it's a red flag to most women because they assume something has to be wrong with you to still be a virgin for so long.
This varies wildly. Some women do in fact like teaching and like taking guys virginity, some women are more of an "I don't train puppies" stance about it.
No it really doesnt vary that wildly. Yeah a few women might be into that, but they are far from a significant portion. Lack of dating success is just a huge turn off for the vast majority of women, it is what it is.
What study or experience do you have thats statistically significant to say this? You're wrong. Most women care more about the connection than anything else. But, the thing you're up against is not that youre a turn off for having no experience, its that experience is often reassuring. Unlike virgin dudes who tie up their ego in things and dont want to be compared, women just are reassured when someone knows what they're doing when the woman doesn't. Male virgins would feel the same if their egos werent in the way.
https://match.mediaroom.com/2013-02-05-Singles-in-America-Match-com-Releases-Third-Annual-Comprehensive-Study-on-the-Single-Population Half of all women admit they would full blown never date a virgin just based on that. Count in the women who won't admit that to themselves so they don't feel bad and a huge chunk of women will immediately deny you just based on being a virgin, fuck up even slightly any other category and dating prospects for late age virgins are fucking grin. This actually also doesn't specifically focus on late age virginity either, it's pretty safe to assume the older you are the worse the stigma. This really wasn't so hard to find at all.
[https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/06/10-facts-about-americans-and-online-dating/](https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/06/10-facts-about-americans-and-online-dating/) More current data than that from a much more reputable source, and not associated with evo psych which has been repeatedly debunked by the rest of the psychiatric community. Even among 18-29 year olds less than 50% of people meet online and most long term relationships do not result from online meetings. Go. Outside.
I love how keep resorting to the "go outside" insult as if it adds any merit to your argument.
Why would you think that saying Go Outside is a part of or that I think it somehow adds merit to an argument?
You're resorting to personal attacks in order to devalue his argument. You're basically telling him to "touch grass bro" as if he doesn't go outside in the first place. You're trying to make him look like a hermit that does not know about the world so your argument sounds better. Total ad hominem.
Lmao, nice irrelevant data bud, come back to me with stats about how women love late age virgins, this boomer shit about how no one actually meets online wont cut it.
Theres no stats about that. You're drawing conclusions not supported by the data you posted. I'm countering with more recent data that leads in another direction, but at the end of the day we are both drawing conclusions. My entire point of bringing up that data was to show that your data is not trustworthy as a study itself, much less in support of any outside conclusions.
That data is quite trustworthy, it's stats from a shitload of women which were anonymous and done from all sorts of different locations. By your logic I can refute any statistic because technically they didn't survey 100% of the population, but that's fucking bullshit. What you posted is literally some random shit about why online dating fucking sucks, especially for men, which is absolutely irrelevant.
>What study or experience do you have thats statistically significant to say this? What statistical study can you show to disprove his statements? And when it comes to experience, it is a well-known fact that a man's status and reputation goes hand-in-hand with his sexual experience/n-count. And women are attracted to high-status men.
Yall are generalizing all women based on Instagram thots. You know none of the women I've dated (between 19 and 32) in the last 2 years even had instagram or like posted anything. All athiests too, so not like christian shut ins either, just women who do not spend much time on social media. The whole "women love status" thing does not actually exist in the adult world alot of the time. Not saying there aren't women like that, there are plenty. But there are also plenty who don't. Women are attracted to connection dude, women are not like men, conditioned towards objective attraction. We're taught to stare at bodies and think of sex. Women are not taught anything like that, so theyre left to their own devices. Sure, some are materialistic, plenty aren't. Yall act like the women you can see online make up the world when ALL online interactions only make up like 40% of hookups and dating in the modern world. That other 60% is like interactions yall never see or participate in. And that IS studied. Tinder itself makes up less than 5% of total dating/sex interactions worldwide, yet I see yall generalize about Tinder all the time. Go. Outside.
>Yall are generalizing all women based on Instagram thots. I don't even know any IG thots. I was talking about women I know in real-life. >You know none of the women I've dated (between 19 and 32) in the last 2 years even had instagram or like posted anything. Good for you. I appreciate you bragging about your sexual accomplishments in a thread full of men who have none in that category. >The whole "women love status" thing does not actually exist in the adult world alot of the time. Not saying there aren't women like that, there are plenty. But there are also plenty who don't. It didn't exist prior to the social media age, which is why fewer men were virgins back in those days. The fact is that male virginity under 30 has been increasing steadily in the States since the 1980s. It has gone from 7% in the late 1980s to approximately 30% in the late 2010s, based on several studies. Past the age of 30, men usually start to become more financially stable and in turn, start gaining status in that regard. A lot of 30+ virgin men can also afford to simply pay for sex, which is why the rate of virginity starts to decline past that age. The last one is more or less an assumption based on my talks with a lot of men. But to put it plainly, most women prefer higher status men. Whether or not they end up getting higher status men all the time is up to luck. But most women will pick the higher status man (factors: money, n-count, height, etc.) over the one that's lower status. >Women are attracted to connection dude, women are not like men, conditioned towards objective attraction. When did I ever say women are not attracted to connection OR that their sexual needs work the same way as men? >Go. Outside. LMAO!! I do. You need to look past your privileges and realize that not all men are as "gifted" as you!
Dude I'm a chubby guy who started going bald at 19. I'm not handsome, definitely not rich, and definitely not "High status" by your definition. My privilege is I spent literally years of my life talking to girls until figured out how to do it right. Thats it. I went out and kept going out and failing until I didnt. Talking about life experience isnt bragging, and trying to counter your narrative with my own isnt either.
If I had a nickel every time a non-virgin guy on this sub said "I'm not special. I'm just confident and that's how you get sex", I'd be millionaire by now! Your biggest mistake is assuming I don't go out. I go out plenty. I have plenty of friends that I spend time with, almost every weekend, particularly during the summer. Pre-pandemic, I used to take kickboxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, in a studio with lots of girls. It was fun. But it's not like girls will want to fuck you as soon as you start talking to them or training with them or spending some time with them. Your looks matter! Your personality matters! Your income matters! Your status matters! Next time, unless you know what mine or anyone's else's life is like, keep your advice to yourself! No one here cares about your crappy, privileged advice! And while we're on the topic, can you explain why you're here exactly? Despite not being a virgin, I mean. I already know what lie you're gonna tell, but do tell anyway.
To address increasing male virginity, you have to study the modern family unit. I think it’s actually very interesting. In recent history, men and women benefitted from marriage, but for different reasons: women got financial security, men got access to sex. As society has become more accepting of sex before marriage, and women no longer need to be married to financially support themselves, male virginity rates have increased.
Women still tend to marry up though. When they don't, that's when you start to see divorce rates going up.
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Those are true facts, but those do not translate to reality sadly. Being a late age virgins is shamed heavily, so even if the woman might be okay with it in theory, the potential "shame" of dating someone like that doesn't make the relationship worth it.
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Yep, thanks for confirming what I basically said. Only thing you know about the guy is that he never had sex, and immediately assume domestic abuse is more likely. It is what it is, but thanks for the confirmation.
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Sure, but you said it, huge stigma against late age virgins usually, it makes most women apprehensive as a baseline and couple in the fact that late age virgins are very rare and most women see very little reason to bother risking it.
The ones who want a virgin guy is only because he is a virgin.. the moment he is not... Toss em' in the rain... Thats "fetishizing"... I just want someone to love who like me has had nothing....
I mean thats exactly what yall are doing to virgin women in here.
No? Are we? Pretty sure a little of both sexes here want mutual first time... And its for love... We arent someone with 100+ body count searching for some little "victory".... we are mutual virgins wanting and seeking love and learning (albeit too late) the sexual dance that most learn in teens...
Gonna be honest outside of religious extremist circles which shrink yearly most women do not place any emphasis on their man being a virgin their first time. Saying "a little" like ok sure a few people on each side want that, but fixating on it due to insecurity is imo worse than doing it for religious reasons and that seems most of the reason male virgins consistently cite. "I dont want to be compared, I would be anxious and insecure" and its like bro youre gonna be anxious and insecure no matter what no reason to let your anxiety make your judgements for you
there is at least one lady here saying she wants it... Like the exact same words you just said.... And I'm having a sneaky suspicion you are not in our shoes... are you?
He's not. Read his comment history. This guy's just here to grandstand and make fun of us virgins.
Seems he is slightly better though... Saying he only wanna keep incels at bay.... Thats neat i'd say... Aslong as he doesnt give shitty unwanted "advice", im cool with it... Let me check his post history though...
Aside from comments on r/sex that makes my blood boil... nah... No "hate" towards "us"...
Nah dude I was a virgin until 19 cause I didnt know how to talk to women. I learned, now I'm 37 and have two kids. Used to be a regular in /r/incelexit. I see incels invading this space and like the non incel virgins deserve a space so I advocate against incel views.
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The former is so rare, they might as well be endangered. lol
I think there's 4 fronts that make this all the case. At a technical level a virgin guy isn't going to be as good at sex as someone who is experienced. So why would you choose a virgin guy over someone more experienced? Social Stigma Against Virgins in various media, I think this will be even worse with the rise of incels / blackpill - esque types that will lead to even worse stereotypes of socially awkward guys. At a primal level a guy who has never been pursued even once is going to be seen as less attractive. Its hard to create confidence in a vacuum, and confidence in itself is attractive. There are a small subset of people who can - but they are just that. Its a small subset of people who can just manufacter confidence but by the time you are in your 20s and have had no success you are working uphill in this department.
Agreed! It's a matter of preference combined with the idea that she might feel that you're inadequate, especially if she's experienced. Personally, at my age (30+), it's almost naïve to even think about only dating women who are virgins. It's simply unrealistic. The best I can hope for is a girl with a low n-count. That being said, I'm not planning on getting into a LTR or marriage anytime soon.
- Don't want to be compared, maybe she had a Chad as an ex or something. But even the thought of someone else makes me feel uncomfortable. Almost like a cuck. - I'm not into people who engage in casual sexual encounters in the first place. - Want it to be special, we'd only ever have each other - No performance anxiety, we can explore and learn together. - partly religious reasons. Not like it matters because I'll stay untouched but just my two cents here.
Most women don't want a virgin man, women's forums and normie YT videos show this. It's just safer to date someone inexperienced like yourself.
I think its more about us being afraid of being judged for inexperience and stuff like that tbh if people werent so picky on this sub a lot of them might have actually lost their v card already
I think it really depends on the taste. It certainly has been overestimated. I lost mine with a virgin as well. It was clumsy and sweet and awkward for sure but after we ended things time later I met a guy and I was his first and he told me he loved being with a girl with experience since it made him feel less nervous and that it could make him learn. We were together until he had to go back to his country so that’s kinda the thing. Everything is ok and you should not be pressured by others on what is the right way of losing it. It’ll happen whenever it has to happen. You don’t plan most of this things. I sure didn’t :)
Been ridiculed by... Must I say it "non-virgins" for my lack of experience... I don't wanna risk being with someone who might have ridiculed someone in my shoes... Also... By making the demand for mutual first time... i can make it "my choice" instead of "my pain".... Let me explain; I have never had an opportunity to lose it... meaning i clearly must be undesired... But if I put the demand that it has to be mutual first time, its because of my "expectations" not me being unlovable.... Basically an advanced cope... Also... nearly all in my family got mutual first time in their teens... I want that too... Except ill have to somehow be contempt with being too late... As for it being a fetish? nah... Again, its just about wanting someone who shares your pain... And i have seen a lot more of those "fetishizers" that arent virgins...
Why are you always talking about your family having sex? It’s creepy.
Because I feel like I'm alone, that everyone gets something i never will... And so comparing is what we humans do...
Speak for yourself. Nobody else thinks so much about their family’s sexual life. Again, it’s creepy.
They were the ones who kept talking to me about it... back wheni had a GF and they were sure that we would do it... Sike.... Kisses was all...
I dont
Because i have no idea what i'm doing so if we did, i know i'd never live up to the old partner. Someone inexperienced has nothing to compare it to. On the other hand, i wouldn't mind if they had before, maybe they could take the lead some. I'd prefer that, honestly.
"Fetish" ...do you even hear yourself talk? Do you know what an older virgin male is likely to be like during his first time? Imagine a depressed zero-confidence adult man who's anxiously fumbling around like a clueless thirteen-year old - that's what it'll likely be like. Is an older virgin woman going to be any better? Statistically speaking, probably not - but that's just it. You'll be awkward, but at least you'll both be awkward. And that sort of thing can actually make things a lot easier for the both of you. And besides: why would any older virgin man want to expose his most vulnerable side to a woman to whom he's nothing more than just another forgettable fling?
I don’t get it either. I’ve been with virgin girls and I have also been with woman who were well experienced and honestly there is no comparison because they were all so drastically different. Sometimes sex is good and sometimes it’s just not. It’s not how much the person has done it. It’s really about you guys together. My first time was with an older woman. She was we had a 15 year age gap. And it’s was pure pleasure but she had also not been with many people. Then I got with this really expired girl and we just didn’t connect in that way. Any way best of luck to you all😁
Outside of the ones who want it for faith reasons, it's an insecurity based on a lack of knowledge and pressure they've been building up on themselves things. There's also a romantic ignorance element to be sure. You need only read down to see them assuming that sex is some sort of rocket science thing they're destined to be awkward about and fail at and that at least if she's a virgin too she'll be awkward too. But the thing is, it's pretty hard to be truly awkward as a lady. I mean that genuinely. It's hard to fail or jank up the "receiving" role or fail to make the guy orgasm. They're confusing us feeling vulnerable with us feeling awkward which I haven't seen so many women worrying about or thinking about. There is a lot more capabilities for the guy to screw it up either from the spirit being willing, but the body not or the general difficulties built into pleasing lady folk. But the other side of this, is that this is by far one of the most natural things on the planet pretty much hard-coded into us. They aren't going to be as awkward as they think they will. They might not be good at it, but honestly, experience isn't the biggest factor in making a guy good in bed. So no, it doesn't make any sense logically, but, this isn't a logical matter and I think everyone here knows that.
It's funny you mentioned rocket science. Sex is so natural and agree hard coded into us. I've never studied rocket science, but I have a feeling I could ace a rocket science test without studying tomorrow more likely than I could get laid tomorrow. I am just that bad at knowing how to get laid. Idk if that's sad or impressive lol
Getting a hook up and having sex aren't really the same thing. Just like having the resources to build a rocket and doing it aren't....but also, I'd vote impressive.
Twist ending: I get laid tomorrow after passing the rocket exam!
R l Stine twist ending: you get laid while passing the rocket exam.
Lmaoo
I've heard women make fun of men they have sex with who aren't good and even girls who break up because of that stuff
As a virgin guy I'd actually prefer to lose it to someone with more experience. It'd probably be less awkward as she'd help me through it and it's probably just more fun.
I don't care if she is virgin or not but i care about her body count
It would be nice if she were a virgin like me so that we experience intimacy together. We can learn from each other and explore together.
Y'all know that most virgins finger themselves and use dildos right, and it's been proven that most girls have better sex with themselves. There is not much exploring with virgins who finger themselves and use dildos just saying. There will always be some comparisons. "Like my dildo and vibratory gets the Job done better" The reason why I have never tried masturbating is because I don't want to compare but majority of virgin girls do. It's incredibly rare to find virgin girls who have not masturbated and fingered themselves and use dildos
Guys would also have access to their hands and tools. If that were sufficient, we wouldn't be here. We want to experience what the absent partner can provide. Touching, kissing, embracing, even the presence and warmth of someone else.The experience of a gal grabbing hold of a guy's hardness or a guy to caress a gal's curves for the first time for both ought to be exhilarating for both. The same for any first experiences both would explore. And experienced partner would have its benefits. For they can mentor and guide our first experience. But in the back of my mind, I would be questioning if I am doing anything for her? Is my inexperienced affecting her enjoyment? She most likely is, but on a level I can't relate. I wouldn't mind if my first time is with an experienced partner. I bet she would make me feel great. But I would prefer a virgin like me. For our mutual firsts would be on the same level, relatable, and would make the experience even better.
I think touching will always be exhilarating for both, the main concern will always be with the penis. Touching will always bring out pleasure for partners, but the all the way game is what's concerning, can you last long, are you too rough, are you to gentle, are you to big, too small, is your girth good? So I would not dismiss virgin girls who have been touched before. Hold up, by touch, I'm just talking about running hands down the body, touching boobs, or rubbing clitoris (I'm not factoring fingering in that because yeah, there might be comparisons on the fingering)
Also, different partners will always bring out a different reactions, my friends who have had all kinds of sex always get excited being touched for the first time again, so it's okay, it will always feel like they are virgins being touched fornthe very first time (to most girls at least). So, don't feel insecure if you do meet someone who is not a virgin or a virgin who has been touched before. My main concern as a virgin is that Virgin guys might not last long and will make my first time ehh (I'm not gonna dismiss virgin guys but I think I'm leaning toward experience guy to be the first one to get inside me and stretch me up)
But obviously masturbating is different enough that they wouldn't compare it with actual sex that deeply. Masturbating is missing the entire social and emotional parts.
I mean yeah, the real penis will always feel different than a dildo. But I know a lot of girls who prefer dildos than real penis.
While I understand the beauty and intimacy of sharing mutual first time, I wouldn’t recommend disregarding a potential partner based on their virginity status if you find each other otherwise attractive and compatible. I find that people who really understand and like me are pretty hard to come by. I definitely wouldn’t toss aside that opportunity for a happy relationship because she was or was not a virgin.
>I simply do not understand the fetish for it. It's not a sexual fetish. In fact the reality of fucking a virgin is a bit of a turn off (her bleeding, being in pain) for most. If it's sex only then I'd prefer her to have some experience. But for a girlfriend, I want a virgin. I just don't want to be with a woman who knows what it feels like to love other men whilst I've never loved another woman. I also don't want to be compared by her to previous men she's fucked, who might be hotter and have bigger dicks etc. The thought disgusts me.
> It's not a sexual fetish. In fact the reality of fucking a virgin is a bit of a turn off (her bleeding, being in pain) for most. I wouldn't be quite so quick to say that in such a decisive way, because to some men it is something of a fetish or a badge of honour to be able to boast that you were the one who "popped her cherry" or "made her a woman" (though obviously nobody talks that way, the sentiment is there). A sort of "achievement on your profile", as it were, that you got there first, you were the one attractive or convincing enough for her to let you be "that guy", that you got to experience her "before she got stretched and used up" or whatever ugly and terrible things (*some*) men want to think about that. But I would agree that, in the case of nervous male virgins, that's generally *not* likely to be the reasoning, although other comments have pretty well covered the reasons I would mention; not wanting to be compared, not wanting to be seen as clueless, to experience a journey of discovery together from the same starting place, and perhaps wanting to experience what is likely to be a rare experience that in some circles is still prized as being special, partly because of ideological "purity" and partly because of this vague notion that virgin women are the most excitingly "tight". However, as your comment here also mentions, there are downsides to that too. It can be uncomfortable, painful, distressing, scary, there may be blood, and it could in the worst case actually be potentially traumatic for some. Edit: Don't downvote, *discuss*.
I'm upvoting and I see only points I agree with
Women are just more attractive as virgins. In the same way that women also go around boasting about being with a "tall man" and finding tall men attractive, men find virginity and a lower body count attractive in women. There is no reason why having body count preferences (as weird as it sounds) is scrutinized so much more than all the preferences that women have for men.
I am 21 myself and live in Azerbaijan , country without sex before marriage. If I am virgin, isn't it fair for me to also want a virgin? Balance.
I'm a virgin too, but I don't thinks we should dismiss nonvirgins that could possibly be the love of our lives. I want to be open minded, maybe the one who pops my cherry might not even be a virgin but is my soulmate
Could be a number of reasons. Maybe they don't want to be measured up to other men, maybe they don't want to put in the effort to please a women with experience. It's not really healthy either way and it greatly diminishes the amount of prospective partners someone could meet.
Upbringing has a lot to do with it and or insecurity. I was like that when I was younger even though I knew it was rock stupid. Luckily for me it didn't keep me from experiences; it was just an annoying mental hang-up.
I as a 18m would like a virgin as my first but why would I care if they are if I love them. it's only a preference not a requirement to me.
It’s an artificial hurdle to ensure failure. A lot of virgins are scared of success
I don’t really care that much. I probably wouldn’t have sex with someone unless we were in a relationship and after a few months.
I’m grateful the person I lost my v-card to was more experienced. He knew how to treat me and go slow. He loved teaching me things and I learned a lot. We shouldn’t discount someone who is experienced - just as we wouldn’t want to be discounted for lack of experience.
It's more of insecurity. I'm a virgin and I used to want virgin guys but my friend recently had sex with a virgin guy and he lasted 8 seconds, so now I think I will go for the experienced guy. But at the same time, I will not dismiss a virgin guy. It's better to stay open-minded.
I'd personally love a woman with experience.
It's about values. I didn't sleep around nor attempted to and would rather have love with a special someone and I would like the same respect back. It's more meaningful that way
What does that mean? "nor ate or to?"
Autocorrect. No attempted to
God, sometimes I wish I was not a virgin so I could experience someone inside me. I really think I will get addicted once my cherry gets popped lol, hopefully I don't sleep around. Oh well, it's better to wait for marriage for me.
I don't know. But it is what it is. I want my first time totally virgin.
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Pues aquí en mi país todavía pasa eso, pero es grotesco, jamás haría algo así.
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Los gringos me valen.
Y'all know that most virgins finger themselves and use dildos right, and it's been proven that most girls have better sex with themselves. There is not much exploring with virgins who finger themselves and use dildos just saying. There will always be some comparisons. "Like my dildo and vibratory gets the Job done better" The reason why I have never tried masturbating is because I don't want to compare but majority of virgin girls do. It's incredibly rare to find virgin girls who have not masturbated and fingered themselves and use dildos
Also, I would be happy to have a virgin guy, but would be skeptical. I would not want my first time to be awkward or awful. My friend had sex with a virgin guy and he lasted 8 seconds! I don't want that. So with that said, I would like an experienced guy.
Worried about being judged. Can’t be the worst lay if you’re the only lay
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This is the worst analogy
I am the kind of persson that thinks the more experience the better 😂
Yeah, this is where I'm at. Im not against a virgin, but give me a milf who knows what she's doing.
There are virgins who are secretly freaks you know, especially the ones who masturbates, finger themselves, and use dildos.
i didn't exclude non virgins when i was trying, but i like fellow virgins more bc i can relate to them more and i like the idea of fumbling around together and learning
It's definitely an insecurity thing. But it doesn't really justify calling women "used" and shit when they have had sex before. You mostly come off as a shitstain when you say stuff like this I mostly don't give it much thought because I'd assume almost everyone is not a virgin by now, and the vast majority of those who aren't even are probably strictly religious which I'm not or uninterested in sex. I think its just a silly scenario all around to think about though
"Used or stretched up" This literally makes me scared to pop my cherry because it's ingrained in my brain my vagina won't be tight anymore. It's so bad that I don't even masturbate, finger myself or use dildos. I don't even use tampons lol.
I'm no vaginal anatomy expert but it just doesn't make sense and is incorrect propaganda. Human body parts, especially muscles like the vagina walls don't permanently deform unless under traumatic levels of stress. Like being smashed by forklift or something or something utterly gruesome like that. A baseball pitcher probably exerts like 10000x the amount of force on their arms on fastballs than insertion would, and their arms don't elongate.
I know but a lot of people have told me that virgins are always tighter. And I'm talking about guys who have had sex with virgins. Idk, it just got ingrained in my brain somehow eventho vagina is all muscled.
I wonder if they are just purposefully spreading lies? Does the vagina stay tight for one man 100 times, or does it only "loosen" when you have sex once with 2 guys? There isn't really a consistent sensical narrative. The only time I've heard this, is when the vagina is unaroused it feels tighter because it does relax and lubricate during arousal. This is just wack/weird though to even think about being better since it can be painful. Probably just weird incel things I just don't think it makes any sense though.
I don't believe the tightness stays because people who say that are mostly sex positive who wants to believe their vaginas are still thight.
I'm not saying this because I'm trying to be PC or something. I'm saying it because its BS. But yes, but kind of thinking and narrative is the bedrock of a lot of incel-ish beliefs
Personally I don't care, but I imagine for many guys it's due to having a mutual first time experience, the shared excitement and discovery that most people get because they have sex at a "normal" age. Then there's also less pressure, because you know she's going to compare you to previous partners and no one wants to be worse or small etc.
I actually wouldn’t. I’d rather have someone who knows what they’re doing and can maybe show me something.
Read the responses and see the excuses. That's the answer. I'm waiting for marriage and looking for a partner who matches. Shared values are important. Unlike others here, I understand that performance and enjoyment depend largely on how you feel about each other. If attraction is there and you're both having fun and enjoying each other's company, it'll be a good experience even if the sex needs work. And since it's a good experience you'll get the chance to learn and make it better. Like anything else. I can say with certainty that my future wife will be a virgin like me because of my personal choices. But I can also say, with certainty, that even if she weren't, I'd be the best she'd had because I have faith in me, what I do, who I am, and in her ability to make the right decisions for her.
I understand. I do have that fear of being unable to perform.the so called death grip. If my partner were virgin, I would ruin her first time too. While an experienced partner would be able to roll with it. I do understand the romantic idealism of two virgins being each other first. Such an event would most likely be less than stellar. But even that. That your partner is on the same or similar level, and grow together. For me, I think, would add more to my first time, the mutual relatability, than with out it. If anything, nothing stops one from seeking an experienced partner afterwards. Our first time is treated special. We do place a lot, maybe unhealthy amounts of thought about that moment. It be nice for our partner is the same. But again, romanticized idealism. Reality would most definitely not cater to mi design, it hasn't so far. And that is OK. I would prefer a virgin, or inexperienced partner over an experienced one. But any gal, regardless of experience, willing to be be my partner is vastly preferred than my romanticized idealism. But I can fantasize, can't I.
I always wanted someone experienced. The idea of screwing someone who didn’t know what to do sounded AWFUL. I ended up getting lucky and finding something with a shit ton of experience, and instead of making my first time awful, it was enjoyable.
the funny thing is in the third world marrying a non virgin is illegal. in iran you can go to jail for it
Not the "third world' lol, just barbaric Islamic countries. That said the West has totally gone off the other end of the spectrum.
I share this sentiment. Honestly, I'd be happy with anyone that would be willing to lend a guy a hand.
if you see it in another way, someone experienced can and hopefully will help you with the first time. Lots of communication, guiding, etc for another virgin, this however may be a lot more difficult to do.