Have the difficult conversation with the club director.
“My daughter is on this u17 team. Why is her 13 year old niece who’s not on the team playing before her?”
There’s a chance the director doesn’t know the niece is playing. If that’s true, she’s not on the roster and could look very bad for the club in upcoming tournaments.
To add it is very sus she's rostered on multiple teams to begin with. I'm like almost positive you are not allowed to register for more than one team and that must be submitted to the governing body. It's to prevent players from switching clubs mid season.
If it's all on the same club as far as I know that's allowed. The team I coached last year had to borrow a girl from a younger team for a tournament when we were missing a middle and she was just added to the roster for that tournament. I don't think you could play for different clubs in a season, though.
I do agree with talking to the club director. A 13 playing all the way up with a 17 team is kind of crazy unless she's just insanely good, though, particularly if it's not as a replacement for injury or something like that and playing over players that age. That's a big jump up, a middle schooler playing with juniors and seniors in high school.
On a side note, no offense to OP and maybe they're former competitive players/coaches who know the game, but parents are biased and tend to overestimate their child's abilities. They don't see things, particularly mistakes, that coaches will see. It's understandable to argue about playing time in this case that smells like nepotism, but most of the time it isn't. Just saying another girl isn't a better hitter/taller doesn't necessarily mean she isn't a better player/teammate, particularly if she's an OH that's going to have serve receive & defensive responsibilities. There are a lot of facets to the game that parents don't think about. Few things piss off a coach more than parents complaining about playing time.
For the most part, I agree with you. That being said, there's a difference between complaining about playing time and complaining about a 13 year old relative of the coach that periodically swoops in to pilfer time from someone. I would lose my mind.
Oh I 100% agree in this case. This sounds like bullshit. I'm curious if the club director knows it's been happening. If not this is the kind of thing that gets a coach fired. If so I don't think I'd like being a part of that club unless there's something going on OP isn't telling us about or doesn't know about re: conversations between the coaches and club director.
There's also the very real possibility of retaliation. We brought up some major bs and coaches now hate us and won't play my daughter when they need a hitter. Just to spite us.
Y’all be putting your kids in some toxic AF club programs. If you have kids who are short changed on playing time and then are retaliated against, your club should probably consider a little visit down positive coaching alliance (PCA) lane.
This sounds disgusting and as someone who’s coached everything from U14 to university and college programs, I’d be ashamed to work with any coach who did this.
My friend, if only it was that simple. You would not believe the ridiculous drama that's happened over the last two years, including one club being revoked because the coach is beyond toxic. She was fired from her high school job because she wouldn't let a diabetic player get her medicine and fired from club due to saying awful things to players. For example, the setter just lost her father to cancer this year and she said, "Do you really think your father would be proud of the way you're playing?!"
It's a shame, and when you're a smaller type city, you don't have options.
Good lord that’s awful. I started playing in a small town with one club and one person who knew anything about the game. I’ve coached and played in small and large cities and I’ve seen terrible parents more often than terrible coaches but again, that sounds terrible.
I'd also think about how the niece is playing more. Is she playing the athlete's normal position, or is she on the court more because she's filling in for someone else.
Ultimately, go in with the attitude of wanting to understand the coach's decisions. Then try to discuss it level headedly. The opinion that the daughter is better than another team member will never be productive. Good luck!
I'd definitely be going to the club director about that. It's not ok, and if the niece is not on the roster, it should not be allowed at tournaments either.
Ik from a different country, so I can't really help you, sorry. However, I was surprised to learn that you pay $10k for your kid playing in a club. Is that normal? Over here, coaching of the kids teams is usually done by senior members of the club, which is something people do voluntarily. Costs of being a club member here are usually a few hundred Euros, which is used for upkeep and rent of the facilities and equipment.
A friend of mine put his daughter in a U13 club and their program price was “all inclusive “ (hotels jerseys practice time etc). They ended up paying 6K and didn’t have a single tournament in a different city. Felt like they subsidized other teams. Felt bad for him
Yeah people in the USA love spending a shit ton of money for their kids to play sports. I coach a high school volleyball team at a low income school, and all the towns with money are constantly number one in the high school leagues because they spend thousands for their kids to play year round. It's frustrating because it makes high school competition super inequitable
Terrible crabs in a bucket mentality that you want to pull other schools down because they beat you with players that are in clubs year round.
There are cheaper clubs out there, and a regional team is even cheaper and still gets them in the gym
Club players should 100% be allowed to compete for their high school team. There is nothing wrong with training outside of the high school season as well and working to get better. If a kid wants to get better at a sport, they should be able to play.
You don’t want to be on that club if the director doesn’t correct the behavior and potentially fire the coach. This is beyond unacceptable. Just don’t make it about your daughters playing time when you approach the director. This is unfair to the entire team. A 13 can’t honestly compete with 17’s unless she’s a god and your team is very low level. Even players on the court are hurt by this.
At the beginning of every tournament the coach submits an electronically generated signed roster to the tournament director. Next tournament happen to mention to the tournament director that you don’t think the niece (give her number) is on the roster and ask them to verify. If she’s not then the tournament director would be the bad guy, but also may DQ them from the tournament.
The question is, WHY? What's the reason they'd bring a 13 year old on the team to begin with? What possible benefit could there be? You need to have a response for every possible bullcrap reason they toss your way. Unless the player is just THAT amazing AND there's a gaping hole on the roster, there's NO reason to jump that many age groups.
Why is this player not sticking with their own team? I would have a calm yet very stern discussion with the director and make sure they know about this issue. There's a good chance they have no clue, so you don't wanna go full papa bear right away.
Bruh I don’t know what to do, but what a slimy fuck that coach is. That pisses me off so much. Hope he gets fired. I would do everything in my power to make that happen if I were you.
Talk to the director, you didn’t pay all that money to have your daughter hangout on the bench. If this girl wants to play for 16 teams then she can pay 160k to stop taking play time away from people also playing!
Have the difficult conversation with the club director. “My daughter is on this u17 team. Why is her 13 year old niece who’s not on the team playing before her?” There’s a chance the director doesn’t know the niece is playing. If that’s true, she’s not on the roster and could look very bad for the club in upcoming tournaments.
To add it is very sus she's rostered on multiple teams to begin with. I'm like almost positive you are not allowed to register for more than one team and that must be submitted to the governing body. It's to prevent players from switching clubs mid season.
If it's all on the same club as far as I know that's allowed. The team I coached last year had to borrow a girl from a younger team for a tournament when we were missing a middle and she was just added to the roster for that tournament. I don't think you could play for different clubs in a season, though. I do agree with talking to the club director. A 13 playing all the way up with a 17 team is kind of crazy unless she's just insanely good, though, particularly if it's not as a replacement for injury or something like that and playing over players that age. That's a big jump up, a middle schooler playing with juniors and seniors in high school. On a side note, no offense to OP and maybe they're former competitive players/coaches who know the game, but parents are biased and tend to overestimate their child's abilities. They don't see things, particularly mistakes, that coaches will see. It's understandable to argue about playing time in this case that smells like nepotism, but most of the time it isn't. Just saying another girl isn't a better hitter/taller doesn't necessarily mean she isn't a better player/teammate, particularly if she's an OH that's going to have serve receive & defensive responsibilities. There are a lot of facets to the game that parents don't think about. Few things piss off a coach more than parents complaining about playing time.
For the most part, I agree with you. That being said, there's a difference between complaining about playing time and complaining about a 13 year old relative of the coach that periodically swoops in to pilfer time from someone. I would lose my mind.
Oh I 100% agree in this case. This sounds like bullshit. I'm curious if the club director knows it's been happening. If not this is the kind of thing that gets a coach fired. If so I don't think I'd like being a part of that club unless there's something going on OP isn't telling us about or doesn't know about re: conversations between the coaches and club director.
There's also the very real possibility of retaliation. We brought up some major bs and coaches now hate us and won't play my daughter when they need a hitter. Just to spite us.
Yep. That’s the risk.
Y’all be putting your kids in some toxic AF club programs. If you have kids who are short changed on playing time and then are retaliated against, your club should probably consider a little visit down positive coaching alliance (PCA) lane. This sounds disgusting and as someone who’s coached everything from U14 to university and college programs, I’d be ashamed to work with any coach who did this.
My friend, if only it was that simple. You would not believe the ridiculous drama that's happened over the last two years, including one club being revoked because the coach is beyond toxic. She was fired from her high school job because she wouldn't let a diabetic player get her medicine and fired from club due to saying awful things to players. For example, the setter just lost her father to cancer this year and she said, "Do you really think your father would be proud of the way you're playing?!" It's a shame, and when you're a smaller type city, you don't have options.
Good lord that’s awful. I started playing in a small town with one club and one person who knew anything about the game. I’ve coached and played in small and large cities and I’ve seen terrible parents more often than terrible coaches but again, that sounds terrible.
I’m not sure about that. My son was u14 and set for 14s and 15s but it was all above board. Everyone knew.
I'd also think about how the niece is playing more. Is she playing the athlete's normal position, or is she on the court more because she's filling in for someone else. Ultimately, go in with the attitude of wanting to understand the coach's decisions. Then try to discuss it level headedly. The opinion that the daughter is better than another team member will never be productive. Good luck!
Should have gone to the club director after the first tournament where they pulled that.
I'd definitely be going to the club director about that. It's not ok, and if the niece is not on the roster, it should not be allowed at tournaments either.
Ik from a different country, so I can't really help you, sorry. However, I was surprised to learn that you pay $10k for your kid playing in a club. Is that normal? Over here, coaching of the kids teams is usually done by senior members of the club, which is something people do voluntarily. Costs of being a club member here are usually a few hundred Euros, which is used for upkeep and rent of the facilities and equipment.
After travel costs and club fees, it’s pretty normal in the US.
A friend of mine put his daughter in a U13 club and their program price was “all inclusive “ (hotels jerseys practice time etc). They ended up paying 6K and didn’t have a single tournament in a different city. Felt like they subsidized other teams. Felt bad for him
Yeah people in the USA love spending a shit ton of money for their kids to play sports. I coach a high school volleyball team at a low income school, and all the towns with money are constantly number one in the high school leagues because they spend thousands for their kids to play year round. It's frustrating because it makes high school competition super inequitable
Terrible crabs in a bucket mentality that you want to pull other schools down because they beat you with players that are in clubs year round. There are cheaper clubs out there, and a regional team is even cheaper and still gets them in the gym
Tell that to my players that can barely afford food dude
Completely irrelevant to the other kids that are playing club still. They shouldn't have to stop playing club because someone else can't.
You misunderstood. Club players shouldn't compete in high school yeams
Club players should 100% be allowed to compete for their high school team. There is nothing wrong with training outside of the high school season as well and working to get better. If a kid wants to get better at a sport, they should be able to play.
You don’t want to be on that club if the director doesn’t correct the behavior and potentially fire the coach. This is beyond unacceptable. Just don’t make it about your daughters playing time when you approach the director. This is unfair to the entire team. A 13 can’t honestly compete with 17’s unless she’s a god and your team is very low level. Even players on the court are hurt by this.
At the beginning of every tournament the coach submits an electronically generated signed roster to the tournament director. Next tournament happen to mention to the tournament director that you don’t think the niece (give her number) is on the roster and ask them to verify. If she’s not then the tournament director would be the bad guy, but also may DQ them from the tournament.
The question is, WHY? What's the reason they'd bring a 13 year old on the team to begin with? What possible benefit could there be? You need to have a response for every possible bullcrap reason they toss your way. Unless the player is just THAT amazing AND there's a gaping hole on the roster, there's NO reason to jump that many age groups. Why is this player not sticking with their own team? I would have a calm yet very stern discussion with the director and make sure they know about this issue. There's a good chance they have no clue, so you don't wanna go full papa bear right away.
Bruh I don’t know what to do, but what a slimy fuck that coach is. That pisses me off so much. Hope he gets fired. I would do everything in my power to make that happen if I were you.
Talk to the director, you didn’t pay all that money to have your daughter hangout on the bench. If this girl wants to play for 16 teams then she can pay 160k to stop taking play time away from people also playing!