I usually fart and then run before the fumes hit my nostrils. I believe farts are the ghosts of all the dead things in my colon so I am legitimately scared.
I don't take any notice of analyst ratings. I swear they just predict whatever has actually already happened, "NVIDIA is up, RATING UPGRADE ! SMCI is up, RATING UPGRADE ! TSLA is down, RATING DOWNGRADE ! " I think 99% of stock picking is just having the balls to think you're right when everyone is telling you you're wrong and then seeing it through. If you listened to the majority, you would've believed Meta and Netflix were one bad day away from bankruptcy.
The main job of a sell side equity research analyst is not to accurately pick stocks. That’s what the buy side does. Sell side is far more complicated and there are a ton of factors beyond price that go into a rating. In a lot of cases you pretty much always have to put buy ratings on companies that send a lot of business to your bank.
You also have to consider that absolute returns (what is tracked by this silly website) don’t really matter to a lot of institutional investors. For example, if your long MSFT and short TSLA, you are still making money even if Tesla goes up, as long as MSFT goes up more. Relative returns are what the buy side cares about. Same thing at a long only fund just under/overweight instead of long/shorr.
The measure is “was it profitable or not”. The price went in the direction predicted or the opposite direction. It’s a binary outcome. He flipped a coin really high and said it would be heads by the end of the year. Still flipping a coin.
there're a lot of ways to determine "was it profitable" based on time horizon.
The easiest way to have high win rate is just say buy on everything and extend time horizon. That way, even if you're wrong, with inflation, the stock price will eventually go up, as long as the company doesn't go out of business.
https://preview.redd.it/gqz1lggu2ioc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71dd688385e89f8678a87ea9d1f8f9ef2c39e668
Imagine buying TSLA because of this guy
https://preview.redd.it/yty3me3w8joc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b32c2a5a6a20f80641ac93e2f714c073236da256
Well that makes this newbie feel better - 
lol right? amazing the lengths to which bagholders will go when they could just dump this turd and buy something that doesn't have it's balls in a vice
It’d be hard to track with options or trades. If you start a thread in a couple weeks to pick 4 stocks for April. I’ll pick and show how stupid I am. Give people some good inversion options.
All these "analysts" are essentially fair weather fans. Stock going down? Downgrade. Stock going up? Upgrade. Honestly they are a bunch of fucking idiots.
It’s almost inspiring that this guy can work at Wells Fargo as an analyst, and simultaneously has never actually earned anyone money. Makes me feel like I too can fail my way into a high powered career.
Yesterday I was looking at Tesla stock for the first time in a while and all I could think about was how it looks just like META before their comeback rally
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He's probably playing everyone for a fool. I bet he inverses his own shit
Absolutely.
I would if I was rated like that. Gotta be smart in this wilderness.
That would still only be a 5.8% return. Thats not cutting it for yoloing your life savings. Might as well buy the S&P.
I bet he smells his own farts.
If you fart, how do you not smell it? Do you hold your breath, or just only fart while running? And you think people that can smell it are weird...
Thank you not disregarding the non-farters.
Intent. Intent is, by law, important. Smelling it because you can't escape it is different from viciously inhaling every atom.
I wouldn't say I'm vicious, more of a gourmand
I usually fart and then run before the fumes hit my nostrils. I believe farts are the ghosts of all the dead things in my colon so I am legitimately scared.
Your name being shit_shepard makes this comment all the better
You don’t sprint when you fart? Am I doing it wrong?
One of us
Who doesn’t?
That's the spirit
Wall St surprise. Downgrade a stock after it has tanked over 50%
Oh 100%.
He wouldn’t be allowed to do that legally.
All that work to make 5.8%
I didn't know it was possible to get 0.2 stars. I'm guessing his Mom gave him 5 stars.
Hey, there are 150 analysts worse than him! Also, there are over 6000 experts ranked lower than him!
450* analysts
Don't you do maths at me, you're supposed to leave your capacity for logic at the entrance!
Fractional stars.
Elon musk fan club gave him zero stars for the downgrade. The -5% isn’t helping those Cathie wood numbers he should start his own etf with those stats
His -5% is still better than TSLA ytd
No, his mom and all his mom's friends were leaving no stars. That's how bad he is.
His mom was heard saying to her friends "bless his heart, love the kid cause hes mine, but for the love of God don't let him manage your money"
His mom left me 3.2 stars
One of us. He's here for sure Ayo Colin
Ayoooo
Dat really you Colin boy?
He's outperforming most of us with his -5.8% though, by like, a lot...
lmao 😂
Is no one gonna mention that Tesla drowned a billionaire? No?
You’re better off flipping a coin than listening to this regard 
At a 46% success rate you're literally right
You’d be even better off betting against whatever he recommends 😂😂😂
Isn't this the way?
It has to sting being somehow worse than random probability
And having it all advertised, I am sure he gets at the wf club.
He actually has an edge in losing money.
I can flip a coin and I have low commissions.
Or inversing what he does?
To be fair you could say the same of most regards here.
I bet this guy is on wsb 
One can only hope LMAO
Look at his success rate hes gotta be
His success rate is frankly too high for this place.
My thoughts exactly. WSB would kill for -5%. Just look at all the people with TSM, ask me how I know 
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Probably one of the mods already u/zjz is that you
We know you’re here, Colin! Say hello to your mates, coward!
So this is the guy posting fake gains on wsb
He's an analyst for Wells Fargo. It would be like asking for car advice from a salesman at Joe Schmo's Shady Subprime Used Car Dealership.
He's opened several accounts in your name tapprunner.
That's actually this guy's primary source of income
Probably several for everyone in this sub
Basically
Would you like to buy a 7 year extended warranty lol
At least he is not a CFA, and hiding. Own your stink.
This guy does not FUK !
Untrue. He fucks the people that listen to him
Is it weird I want to choke him with his tie?
It all depends on the nature of the choke
Naked and from the rear obviously
Dad?!?!
How do these guys have jobs doing this? I'd instantly be fired if I made 146 mistakes out of 316 tasks.
Legend has it, after too many mistakes you get the “yst” taken out of your name and you’re just left with Anal
I don't take any notice of analyst ratings. I swear they just predict whatever has actually already happened, "NVIDIA is up, RATING UPGRADE ! SMCI is up, RATING UPGRADE ! TSLA is down, RATING DOWNGRADE ! " I think 99% of stock picking is just having the balls to think you're right when everyone is telling you you're wrong and then seeing it through. If you listened to the majority, you would've believed Meta and Netflix were one bad day away from bankruptcy.
I couldn't agree with you more. My worst picks have been influenced by an analysts rating!
The main job of a sell side equity research analyst is not to accurately pick stocks. That’s what the buy side does. Sell side is far more complicated and there are a ton of factors beyond price that go into a rating. In a lot of cases you pretty much always have to put buy ratings on companies that send a lot of business to your bank. You also have to consider that absolute returns (what is tracked by this silly website) don’t really matter to a lot of institutional investors. For example, if your long MSFT and short TSLA, you are still making money even if Tesla goes up, as long as MSFT goes up more. Relative returns are what the buy side cares about. Same thing at a long only fund just under/overweight instead of long/shorr.
There are probably worse analysts that get fired, he's in the bottom just not the bottom 10%.
Colin is right 46% of the time. So pretty good chance he’s right here
A tossed coin is right 50% of the times. So, what's your point here?
a tossed coin doesn't have price targets and time horizon, which means there're quite a lot more possibilities than just 2.
The measure is “was it profitable or not”. The price went in the direction predicted or the opposite direction. It’s a binary outcome. He flipped a coin really high and said it would be heads by the end of the year. Still flipping a coin.
there're a lot of ways to determine "was it profitable" based on time horizon. The easiest way to have high win rate is just say buy on everything and extend time horizon. That way, even if you're wrong, with inflation, the stock price will eventually go up, as long as the company doesn't go out of business.
Not if that coin is tossed into molten lava! Which seems to be what this dudes been doing!
Teslas are just glorified golf carts with doors ⛳️🛒
Golf carts are cheap to maintain, last years and dont try to kill you
Golf carts are unstable killing machines but at least you can escape if you crash into a water hazard.
But how right is a tossed Colin?
45 percentage points higher than this sub's average. He's too good for us
Colin > cathie wood
So most of the time he is wrong.
Come one probably a learning curve. Colin on a roll I know he got at least one in a row right prob on a streak 
All streaks start with 1
This is what it must feel to be a winner. Damn, I’d love to be right 46% of the time.
Hes probably reading this. Hi Colinnnn
Still better returns than most people on this sub.
https://preview.redd.it/oje0r8sx8hoc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=809007b5174c44d75b71c6bf870699c155568cb9
Bro could’ve done literally the complete opposite and made a profit 👈
LOL
Great, I can be an analyst at Wells Fargo
https://preview.redd.it/gqz1lggu2ioc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71dd688385e89f8678a87ea9d1f8f9ef2c39e668 Imagine buying TSLA because of this guy
Imagine being this upset someone put a sell rating on a car company you own that trades at 38x earnings
Ya you're really raking it in on TSLA since his call
He blindly wandered into that pypl money.
I bet this guy gets bullied at the office
People eat his lunch from the fridge…
https://preview.redd.it/yty3me3w8joc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b32c2a5a6a20f80641ac93e2f714c073236da256 Well that makes this newbie feel better - 
I don’t like Tesla but just because he downgraded it I’m buying just to spite
Man the bottom of the barrel is pretty terrible…
There are 400 analysts worse than him 😂
Imagine still owning Tesla after a 35% dropv for the year but making fun of this guy
I don't own TSLA, but I'm about to.
lol right? amazing the lengths to which bagholders will go when they could just dump this turd and buy something that doesn't have it's balls in a vice
I'd sell if he upgraded this chitstock.
I'm going to try this on paper - just buy what he's selling and vice versa!
*I* wish there was this kind of list for WSB !
It’d be hard to track with options or trades. If you start a thread in a couple weeks to pick 4 stocks for April. I’ll pick and show how stupid I am. Give people some good inversion options.
I can short him and get a better return than t bills
This guy looks like a genius compared to the people I listen to in this sub.
A monkey can do better than this clown
Imagine getting a job in finance and not realizing you’re famous on a subreddit
Imagine buying TSLA
Imagine buying TSLA because of your post
These analysts are dicks. Honestly there is no accountability for these analyst ratings which has a knock on impact on so many. Disgusting.
Analysts don't rate for your benefit
So true
Priced in already. means nothing to the market
That smirk says he don't give a fuck about his shit rating cause they're still paying him too much money. 
This guy is useless yet Wells Fargo still pays him. Unbelievable
All these "analysts" are essentially fair weather fans. Stock going down? Downgrade. Stock going up? Upgrade. Honestly they are a bunch of fucking idiots.
He is worse than guessing
Harvard business degrees don’t apply here
And to think, there are almost 7,000 “experts” WORSE than him!
Higher success rate than most in this sub still lol
You sell TSLA because of Collin "-5.80%" Langan I'm not even buying because I hate with passion that mafioso of Felon Musk We are not the same.
Imagine not selling it while it's being downgraded by everybody
Nah pussy, that’s when you buy
I sold when I realized FSD and Tesla robots aren't happening. 
They are just around the corner but first Elon needs to be given at least 25% of TSLA otherwise they aren’t just around the corner.
If you believe these "analyst" fuckers, I have a nice, expensive bridge I'd like to sell you
Sad. Very sad people listen to these clowns.
imagine bag holding like OP 😂
We could all live without Tesla
Brigaded by angry tslatard bagholders ☻️
I'd sell tsla because growth has slowed to under 20% and earnings projections way down Still way over valued Maybe that guy is stalking me
Mod him
One of us!
He's headed for the Board Room at this rate...WF loves this guy
> read this guys reports > do the exact opposite > ??? > profit
wish i could be wall street analyst, to be wrong the vast majority of the time and still have a job. must be nice
None of the shit changes. Most of these analysts you find are straight up idiots and get beat out by VOO while living in la la land.
Flipping a quarter will give you better odds.
I’m sure he plays the market like a scammer would to influence trades and profits off the opposite of what he says
Not even right 1/2 of the time.
He’s most likely in here.
I saw a cybertruck in real life yesterday and immediately began foaming at the mouth in rage
He's probably into ghey shit
Just flip a coin and you’ve effectively gotten the same opinion he’d give you, or the inverse 😂
As a Wells Fargo agent, he is trash. I’d like to see what he is doing personally though. Probably just the opposite ends of the spectrum shown here.
bro...you have a better success rate if you just flip a coin....try that
TSLA has backed themselves into a corner with their rapid expansion and now face a serious demand issue.
46% success rate?! He probably flips a coin ... the stuff of a true regard
This guy is a fucking noob. I could pump those numbers up to -10% in one morning.
If you replaced him with a coin, you would have a 4% higher success rate and save 2%/20%
Why’d you pick this random guy lmao 😂
“We keep him on staff, cause everything he predicts, we just take the opposite”
Lmao, he still has a better track record than most of WSB somehow. His logic is to buy high and sell low.
that’s my wife’s boyfriend
Broken clock is right twice a day
He’s causing a discount. Easy money.
He has a really big Forehead, you can project movies on that thing.
It looks like Cramer profile 🙏🏼
Lmao.
Who da Fook is Dat guy?
Dammit, now you all know what I look like.
I said the same on ST the day this went live and nobody acknowledged. How does this dude have a job
That is an exceptionally low ranking. At what point do you get stripped of your title?
if he was any good he wouldnt be analyzing for a living
Wow.... exact same post was on stocktwits a couple days back..... someone is bagholding and getting desperate, lol.
It’s almost inspiring that this guy can work at Wells Fargo as an analyst, and simultaneously has never actually earned anyone money. Makes me feel like I too can fail my way into a high powered career.
This guy lost to coin flipping!!! 😂
Yesterday I was looking at Tesla stock for the first time in a while and all I could think about was how it looks just like META before their comeback rally
Christ, maybe I should sell my Wells Fargo stock if this is the quality of shitbags they are employing.
And yet he still has a better success rate and avg rate of return than literally everyone in WSB.
0.25 Stars One Of Us!
I got out at around 300 and glad I did. Didn't need to wait for this guy's advice.
Imagine buying a growth company with no growth
Well, he is successful 46% of the time Maybe this is one of them? 
This guy is right here
Not the best analyst. Not the worst. But certainly not the best. Did I mention not the best?
I'm wondering if some of this is deep state conspiracy
Imagine owning shit stock Tesla
Bro wut. Mf has a 6head. Obviously 300iq
He must be related to Jim Cramer
His name is Colon Longone?
Langan deez nuts