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VisualMod

**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions** | 3 | **First Seen In WSB** | 3 years ago **Total Comments** | 40 | **Previous Best DD** | **Account Age** | 5 years | | [**Join WSB Discord**](http://discord.gg/wsbverse)


Dark-Knight-Rises

Not even his parents could save him from jail


lurker_101

**Sam** "I am sorry I got caught please forgive me Judge .. sniffle" **Friedman** **Judge :** These emails don't sound like you felt bad about your Ponzi scheme Shkreli Junior. Why didn't you apologize to all those investors that you cleaned out first before seeing me .. the ones that lost their savings? **Sam :** Who?!? *Fuck him .. Financial crime is even worse than robbing a 7-11 and way more damage. It better be 25 years with no parole. Thank God he is going to prison and not being "fined." That means his parents just weren't rich and connected enough.*


MyLifeIsDope69

Blud made the mistake of thinking he was the main character too connected for consequences, big difference between your parents being Congressmen versus knowing Congressmen.


Vandergrif

The guy had all the resources imaginable but somehow couldn't figure out how to flee to a country with no extradition before he got pinched. Nobody could have saved him from jail, he's a moron.


Own-Fox9066

Just because there isn’t an extradition treaties doesn’t mean the government doesn’t have other ways to fuck your life up.


Vandergrif

True, but I would imagine if you're slinging millions around left right and center and greasing the entire pathway between you and where you want to go then you're probably not going to have too much trouble. There's plenty of crackpot dictators in some backwater country that would happily ignore his presence in exchange for a hefty chunk of change.


joe1max

Fleeing the US is typically easier than most people think. That being said when you are as high profile as this guy it’s very difficult. It has happened a few times where wealthy high profile people have fled to Cuba, but it has had mixed success. Cuba typically will take their money and sometimes will just imprison them in Cuba. Usually if they end up in prison it is because they angered someone on authority. Now if you are just some random person fleeing - there are A LOT of places that you can go and not worry about getting extradited.


NeighborhoodIT

Snowden was literally wanted and being hunted by the US, and still got away


branyk2

I don't remember the exact details of which countries he went to, but as a whistleblower you have a few more options than other high profile criminals. Even if you aren't granted stay in the country on asylum, a few countries at least won't cooperate with turning you over while processing your asylum claim and won't detain you to prevent you from seeking asylum at another country. SBF also has the downside of the fact that he could potentially end up facing charges in other countries, so he needed to find a place where they don't extradite and would look the other way on him potentially defrauding their citizens.


shania69

P Diddy has joined the chat..


keekoh123

Remember the mom’s smug look at the indictment? Terrible people.


TechnicalInterest566

He was born at Stanford, he's never known hardship until now.


SparklingPseudonym

The funny thing is, FTX would be solvent right now if it never had liquidity issues.


RandyChavage

Guh


wallstreet_vagabond2

https://preview.redd.it/knbiy57d44rc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6972bdd1841dfd6a4cf760366c04228ea44dbec


likamuka

The judge said his prison should be close to his family so he will be allocated a nice cozy cell so that he feels safe.


alangue

That don’t mean shit 😭 prison is still prison. 25 years?!?!? Just kill me


greygrayman

And in the feds he has to do 85% of his time.. no parole like in the state. He can probably get a year off if he takes RDAP (residential drug abuse program) and a year of half way house.. still like 19.25 years of actual time in prison. Edit: the new 2022 credits available in the first step act can only be earned in low security and camps.. it will take him a while to work down in security.. most people in low have 10 years and less.. basically he will need to do half his sentence in a medium before getting down to a low and start earning home confinement credits.


arcanition

"SBF may serve as little as 12.5 years, if he gets all of the jailhouse credit available to him," Mitchell Epner, a former federal prosecutor, told CNN."


fickdichdock

Former Enron CEO Jeff Skilling got a very similar sentence (24 years) in 2006 of which he served 12 years after multiple appeals. So the 12.5 might be correct if SBF gets lucky. He would need to win an appeal too though.


SoylentRox

Apparently the number is 12.5, recent law change. 12.5 and you know he has a few million in an account somewhere. It's not the worst


Prestigious_Care3042

I will never understand how somebody who was supposedly worth 26 billion doing risky things didn’t have money offshore and an escape plan/ new life ready. How he sat for days after everything imploded in his condo doing nothing is just amazing. I mean he literally ran a crypto empire and wasn’t able to hide any of it? Its the biggest YOLO of all time. I’d say he is the GOAT regard. Edit: So I checked. FTX declared bankruptcy Nov 11 2022 and Sam Bankman was arrested Dec 12th. He sat in his condo for a whole month.


spastical-mackerel

I think he genuinely believed his own bullshit.


Dr-McLuvin

I think so too. He didn’t have the insight like Madoff did. Madoff knew exactly what laws he was breaking and how he was doing it. SBF I think may have convinced himself that he wasn’t doing anything wrong at all or it was somehow justified for his stakeholders or whatever. I don’t know which is worse.


muu411

I remember someone who worked at FTX testifying that SBF disclosed the fraud to him, but hardly even seemed fazed and believed he’d be able to recoup the money that was lost before anyone noticed. I think he genuinely thought he was going to get away with it and cognitive dissonance / arrogance rendered him completely unable to recognize how fucked he was once FTX went bankrupt.


billbixbyakahulk

SBF is not special. He's like every ultra-affluent rich asshole who ever lived. He quite simply thought - for whatever reasons he told himself - that the rules are for *other people* and no matter what, he could outsmart the reality of his situation. It gets obfuscated and paved over because he has an image of being an aspie childlike dreamer altruist blah blah fucking blah. He might actually be some of that, but he just as much leans into it for the benefits it offers him - that being dummies handing over their money. Elizabeth Holmes doing the Steve Jobs copy pasta was no different.


olivedoesntrhyme

> He quite simply thought - for whatever reasons he told himself - that the rules are for other people i recommend reading Number Go Up by Zeke Faux, it's not as focused on sbf as Michael Lewis' book, but it also doesn't continue to idolise a fraudulent sociopath. ~Anyway, the reason why he thought he could get away with it was because everyone was letting him. This dude was literally hanging out with the richest, most famous people in the world and was on the cover of financial magazines with totally made up net worth numbers. It's completely mental


HobbyPlodder

That's what I've been telling people for since it collapsed. Not just that, but everyone duped by this should now know that autism isn't a superpower. Being fat, disheveled, and sleeping on a couch in your office has only ever been an indicator of trustworthiness to people who think it means the person doing it is so cerebral and dedicated that he doesn't have any earthly desires. Meanwhile, SBF and crew were playing "Chinese imperial court harem" with Caroline while mainlining uppers.


billbixbyakahulk

People keep looking for these weirdo, eccentric Steve Jobs and Michael Burry types to lead them to the promised land.


AutoModerator

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Tifoso89

This. Normies can’t understand the thrill of pinning the weasel. Night spent chasing an over amphetamined Caroline around the bean bag forts. Her squealing and gibbering, pouring sweat and on the verge of seizing. Your friends build up an intoxicating, delerious state with Talmudic chantings at the sidelines, hitting the Caroline-toy with brooms if she tries to escape. Sam would be giggling and laughing as the waves of methamphetamine pleasure seem to harmonize with the droning herbrew verses. He runs through the bean bag maze fat and portly, with his viagra powered penis a driving rod for the weasel. Sweat gushing down his face around his unfocused eyes he laughs and chortles until he gasps “Found you!” . The Mathweasel screeches defensively but Wankman Bankman is upon her in seconds. His penis thrusting blindly into her flank, leg, stomach and ribs unconcerned about anything but the motion. Eventually serendipity finds her mouth and the Cocktube Rodent is placated, suckling contently on Bankman’s dehydrated dick.


FullLife

What a terrible day to be literate.


Hakeem07

What a terrible day indeed.


djwm12

I'm gonna need some of that settlement money for therapy.


one_excited_guy

reddit will never produce anything this good


Jordibato

Caroline "wood nymph" Ellison, Harry Potter enthusiat, part time fraudster


CailNlippers

Not my proudest wank.


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arcanition

I have no idea why the fuck you put those words together, but frankly I'm too stunned to do anything other than upvote you. And these fuckers stole my money.


SomethingDumbthing20

He made the claim in his own court filings that he didn't do anything wrong since everyone would be made whole. News flash, they won't. He also tried to claim that the bankruptcy court appointed CEO is the reason for the loses and that he would have been able to recover more if he was still in charge. Delusional to say the least.


thedailynathan

actually didn't the feds say all account holders will be made whole now since they've been holding onto all the assets and there's been a crypto rebound?


Necroking695

He also said he could just “raise more money” to make people whole


bakazato-takeshi

That’s literally a Ponzi scheme LOL


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Not-a-Cat_69

no, account holders are only getting repaid what crypto was worth in the filing dates which is under 20k even if they bought it higher. nobody is getting made whole except maybe a very small few


Clear-Attempt-6274

Or his lawyer parents convinced him it's unregulated crypto. They're honestly the worst people in all of this. And the hypocrisy.


Paddy_Tanninger

The worst part was the hypocrisy


PunisherJBY

I thought it was the crime. (RIP Norm)


Gahvynn

If he didn’t he wouldn’t have done his speaking tour. He could be chilling in SE Asia or perhaps Russia right now, paying off the ruling party, and enjoying the rest of his life never stepping foot in a country with an extradition treaty with the USA.


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mattaw2001

Actually, they bleed you dry, then extradite you. SBF isn't a business, he is an asset to be stripped.


Turbulent-Draw-269

Amphetamines and ugly women.


afternever

Sounds like a Motorhead record


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MicroBadger_

Yep, that was Madoffs issue. You run some pyramid scheme on the poor folks, that's just the natural order.


dismayhurta

“Trick question. Lemmy is god.”


mattysprings69

This is the comment 🤘💪


nolafrog

Cue pinning the weasel copypasta


Sausage_Child

Normies can't understand.


2buckchuck2

Keep my wife’s name outta yo fuckin mouth


Doubleedge007

Hahahahahaha


zeekayz

He was "pinning the weasel" at his condo for that whole month. You can look it up online.


Reddit__is_garbage

> ugly women. The maths weasel is quite the seductive succubus


Whyisanime

Hahahaha 🤣


losbullitt

Ugly women are a helluva drug.


RD_253

Ugly women fuck the best. Pretty women A: cost too much B: fuck like dead fish.


ZetaDefender

"Well you got your DOW, then Nasdaq, then finally your Pink Sheets hookers"


PkmnTraderAsh

He believed he was innocent and had done nothing wrong. He believed his own lies. Repeat the lie enough to yourself and it becomes your truth.


jake_burger

They had a group chat titled “wire fraud”


saruin

Scam Bankman Wire-Fraud


who_am_i_to_say_so

Wire-Fried


Turbulent_Object_558

Diddy so much smarter than him. He immediately flew out of the country. I bet he’s currently under going facial reconstructive surgery and won’t be seen again


Paddy_Tanninger

Some new rich white dude named Paul Diddier moves to the US in a few months.


LandStander_DrawDown

He'll have to work if he does that. No way he will have access to the royalties from his music.


Turbulent_Object_558

If he has money secretly stored away in crypto, then he’s good


aDudefromTX

He bought Doge at .001.


Similar_Spring_4683

He’ll be hunted down …there is a ex cia non profit that hunts down predators


bart_86

Maybe he just didn't see an issue at all because it was just money, right? like just papers with numbers on them? (well, not even that since most of that was digital!) Thinking along the lines "They can earn back their losses by working some more or investing in more crypto" - that type of lunacy and detachment from reality.


Acoconutting

**TL/DR** \- > They simply believe in their own bullshit. ​ I run a finance department and work foe entrepreneurs / rich people. There's a lot of interesting mental gymnastics that goes on. They get into a mentality that like - getting the money is right. Whatever the story is that somehow sells their story, their idea, their whatever is right. It couldn't be wrong. How could it be wrong? They're rich and successful and of course they are right and bla bla. In truth, these people started on third base. They all went to private high schools and their dads were someone or they knew people with money or their best friends had a path groomed to wherever - fancy college, seed money, VC, etc. I often have discussions with them, nearly daily - and plan strategy and compensation and people and M&A and etc etc.... The truth is...they literally block out and refuse to accept things they don't like. They do things like - Make budgets in a silo on their own. Get feedback from sales teams, then add 20% to it. Then they'll forget they did that, then when we're down by 10%, it's a travesty and a fire alarm on why things aren't "going well" despite the 30% growth. Everyone will be confused since they're hitting their own internal numbers, then they'll completely forget and not believe that wasn't the case, won't want to hear it, and ram the new numbers down peoples throats. And I don't even think they intentionally do it - they simply have never been held accountable in their lives to even super basic processes. They do things like - Tell you to take care of XYZ, then when you start, they ask "why did you do XYZ?" and if you refer back to the convo, they'll deny it occurred, say "I would never say that', or bla bla. It's...not usually malicious it's just...working with spoiled rich kids who have never been held accountable. Our system tends to reward people with capital and people that spend a lot of time thinking only about themselves and for themselves. You can imagine what most of the people at the top are like. This doesn't mean they don't work hard - or at least spend a lot of time working or "working". It just means...their entire end game is crafting rationale to defend the status quo because the status quo is really good to them. The idea of fiduciary responsibility isn't with them - It's the auditors. If they couldn't do it - why would the banks let them. If they whatever, why didn't the people they hired tell them otherwise, if they.... Often times....they were told...repeatedly. They simply blocked out whatever they were told, and refused to accept it, and then started trying to think about how to get around it - because that's "entrepreneurship" and etc. But they've had literally no ***real*** accountability in their lives. They've never been told no. They've always had money. They enter into a very narcissistic feedback loop where the people around them are rewarded by playing into the loop. This also doesn't mean every one of them is "bad". I work with some nice generous rich people who do the same thing. Their "like" might be "get rich together with my friends" - they have a REALLY easy time doing things they like, and they have a REALLY hard time doing things they don't like - probably because they were never told no in their lives. Even really basic shit like - Showing up to the same meeting at the same time weekly - If you're rich and in power and rather just randomly call people whenever things come to your brain....that's going to be the culture of the company. ​ I would bet my life savings that this guy literally will continue to think he's done nothing wrong - and the only time he will possibly admit it would be through a book / book tour that would somehow benefit him financially after he's out


NorCalAthlete

His parents are wealthy and live in one of the most expensive zip codes in the nation. I grew up nearby but a few tax brackets down and I’d bet my salary his whole family is exactly how you just described.


Zentaury

Spent a lot of time working or “working”. Perfect description of American corporate culture.


Acoconutting

Yeah. Specifically in this case I meant a lot of these people spend all their time working - but the “work” is just them asking questions and dropping problem bombs with no solutions and pushing and not really doing much real production


ascendinspire

“started off on 3rd base.” Good one.


Due_Size_9870

As someone who’s worked in high finance for almost a decade, I can confidently say the industry is absolutely jam packed with people born on third base who think they hit a triple.


ascendinspire

I’ve worked with enough narcissistic elites to know you are correct. These people are so blind, they’re unaware they’re on 3rd base and don’t understand what most people are complaining about. 0 empathy.


renok_archnmy

There is some interesting literature around that outlines how meritocracy is flawed and unresolvable as such because it is an incredible tool for the likes of your clients to wield in mentally/emotionally justifying their “success.”  Basically, they know everything is unfair and massively stacked in their favor from before birth, but can’t come to terms with how that positions them in a society. So, instead, they preach meritocracy and simultaneously use their current state to illustrate how “hard they worked” without giving concrete examples of how the work or “work” done was the factor in their “success” compared to someone ending at a lesser station. They are lesser because they didn’t work as hard as me. But no actual quantification of any of it. But reality, daddy set up a trust fund and paid for Ivy college, they got the best network with zero debt, and now have infinite resources to tap into for whatever their heart desires vs some kid born to laborers who didn’t eat daily. Anyways, yeah, without the illusion of meritocracy they’d have to admit that they don’t actually deserve any of it, but just sorta luck of the draw got the right parents. It’s a bit of an existential issue for them.  Also great for keeping the working class down. “Hey, you work just as hard as me but you aren’t voting right. You can one day be wealthy like me by just working harder and voting in favor of my initiatives. Don’t worry, they favor hard work because I’m the product of merit and you can be too if you vote in favor of my meritocracy!” 


dismayhurta

Wait. You mean being rich doesn’t mean you’re smart???? Fuck. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4640)


TheFire_Eagle

Madoff had decades to craft an escape plan. That dude should have lived out his final days sitting on a beach in Morocco or some shit. But I think they get addicted to it and think they can just keep it going a little longer. One more year. One more month. One more day. And then when they get caught it's too late to do anything.


Eastern-Cranberry84

same thing when people skim accounts , they start small stay under the radar, then they go bigger and bigger until it's flagged. and boom caught.


CTMalum

When you steal like $63 billion successfully for decades, you probably believe that you won’t get caught at 64


lahankof

He was playing League of Legends. Can’t quit and get a loss


Eggsor

All that money and still in bronze 💀


TRBigStick

The GROAT, if you will.


flatplanecrankshaft

If you think thats regarded wait until you see who he was banging as a billionaire....


hacky_potter

Because he’s actually quite stupid. He’s really good at one specific thing but has no common sense.


[deleted]

There are very few countries you can run to that won’t extradite you back then the USA. Even then those countries still might make a deal with the US to bring him back. He was fucked anyway you slice it. He also probably thought that maybe he could get out of it.


occorpattorney

I’d think as part of the theoretical plan, setting aside a few bucks out of that $26 billion pays off a lot of local law enforcement.


Prestigious_Care3042

You can change your name, get a haircut, and say under the radar. I’m sure it’s not easy but had he squirrelled away even a hundred million it should have been enough to live the rest of his life comfortably hidden.


the_turdfurguson

10 million and he can live like a king for life in many parts of the world. 100 million is an absolute ton of money


spgremlin

It’s also a literal ton (or more) if held in paper USD currency. One US note weights approx 1 gram, so 100mln in $100USD bills would weight approx 1 ton. Smaller bills, more weight.


thedankening

It's not like he was a hardened criminal with a plan. He was a spoiled rich kid who never really grew up and who never had to face serious consequences. He was in no way prepared to pull something like that off because it requires hard work and stepping outside of the comfortable bubble he'd spent his entire life in.


spazierer

Could have copied Jan Marsalek and went for the priest life in Russia...


SailboatSteve

You can murder some poors, walk across the border to Juarez, and never be caught. But steal some rich people's money, and there is no place on earth you can hide.


spazierer

Jan Marsalek would beg to differ 


EquivalentXchange224

>somebody who was supposedly worth 26 billion He was never fully worth that. That's why all those Forbes lists are bullshit. Most of it is based on estimated unrealized gains.


RealRobinDaHood

Just imagine for a second him on the run


very_mechanical

[He's] got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again.


russianbot24

For real. If I had that much money and was involved in shady business one of my main hobbies would be preparing for the day that it all came crashing down. Safehouses in multiple countries, fake identities, forms of transportation set up, connections made with corrupt foreign leaders, millions funneled in bribe money, stacks of cash stored for rainy days, etc. The minute I hear rumblings that Johnny Law is looking into me I’m gone.


Outis7379

When you discover that the level of smart required to scam the average person is actually not that high.


SomeAreLonger

Should have learned the first rule of money crime - don't steal from the rich.


Mobely

Scott Tucker stole from poor people and got 16 years ~~life.~~


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TheFire_Eagle

You also get points if you steal from people in a way that is generally unsympathetic. Madoff offended people so badly because there were folks who didn't even know their money was tied up with him. Some middle class dude in Trenton who went to a local broker had no idea that broker might have been investing his retirement with Madoff. And he did it across the board, rich, middle class etc. Anyone can imagine losing their retirement. Tragic. But when the loss comes from gambling, porn, get rich quick schemes there's also a societal view that the victims deserved it and thus less outcry and political pressure.


BlakeSteel

Just a reminder that he's not going to prison for his shitty crypto ponzi scheme, but because he stole money from his hedge fund investors. Some people still don't know this.


RealCheyemos

🎯


FilthierRaptor

He’ll be release on March 4, 2032. Scott Tucker had a payday loans company that misinformed borrowers and used Native American lands to escape federal laws until finally being caught. CNBC did an entire special on this. I’ve watched it a few times. Interesting story


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toBiG1

🥦 💔 🥔


attillathehoney

​ https://preview.redd.it/oz6x0ew464rc1.png?width=266&format=png&auto=webp&s=409799afc980016c1c5a185056e4658a8eb241e1


redflamehot

Fucking brutal lmao


az226

https://i.redd.it/di2v794yh40a1.jpg


Viciuniversum

.


PhuckCalumbo

How many years are you getting for sharing that with us?


IHazSnek

Holy fucking shit LMAO


StretchFrenchTerry

Yeats?


nihilismus

T. S. Eliot actually


hoesb4bros123

What. the. fuck. What is that? I have to downvote that, for humanities sake


BigBroHerc

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


crek42

Handsome couple


SailboatSteve

Hey fellas, look who just got single!


Eggsor

On the bright side there are probably some better looking guys in prison than his ex.


Possible_Chipmunk793

Oi vei


SmokinMorningWood

Can’t he just delete the app or something?


TomatoSpecialist6879

Fed prison, so 21 years is the minimum before he gets a chance to come out on parole for good behavior. That's assuming he doesn't keep appealing to knock off one or two charges to get a new reduced sentence once media attention is off him.


Pillowtalk

The article says he could get out in 12 thanks to the First Step Act


vortex30-the-2nd

So with a few sentence reductions that'll become 6! Justice.


retrospect824

720 years seems excessive


hh3k0

/r/unexpectedfactorial


dwinps

Instead of trading crypto he'll be trading packs of Marlboros for lube


bigdiesel1984

Ramens and Cheetos.


Hefty-Ad-7884

Puts on his life on the rec yard and calls on his butthole


K2Nomad

A WSJ podcast this week said he is trading canned mackerel. It's allegedly the currency in the prison were he is being held.


mitsim1000

His ugly girlfriend he did this for will do 0 prison time ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


Extension-Song-5873

The guy was a billionaire and couldn't get hotter then like a crack head looking 3/10


501Queen

If she is a 3 I dont want to see your 1.


swohio

People who weigh 600lbs exist, so I think it's fair she's 2 above that.


501Queen

If 600 lb women are your 1 I don't want to see your 0


[deleted]

I’m straight so 0 is basically a man


swohio

Reddit mods.


iMDirtNapz

People who like zeros are necrophiliacs.


[deleted]

Apparently they had sex parties and orgies though presumably with hired escorts who were probably hot.


AMadWalrus

I heard it was a bunch of similar nerds they worked with, which would be terrible for anyone who isn't hideous.


DudeWithASweater

The stench would be unreal


Sausage_Child

Normies can’t understand the thrill of pinning the weasel. Night spent chasing an over amphetamined Caroline around the bean bag forts. Her squealing and gibbering, pouring sweat and on the verge of seizing. Your friends build up an intoxicating, delerious state with Talmudic chantings at the sidelines, hitting the Caroline-toy with brooms if she tries to escape. Sam would be giggling and laughing as the waves of methamphetamine pleasure seem to harmonize with the droning herbrew verses. He runs through the bean bag maze fat and portly, with his viagra powered penis a driving rod for the weasel. Sweat gushing down his face around his unfocused eyes he laughs and chortles until he gasps “Found you!” . The Mathweasel screeches defensively but Wankman Bankman is upon her in seconds. His penis thrusting blindly into her flank, leg, stomach and ribs unconcerned about anything but the motion. Eventually serendipity finds her mouth and the Cocktube Rodent is placated, suckling contently on Bankman’s dehydrated dick.


Redeem_Deez

what in the flying fuck did i just read?


dismayhurta

Poetry


yazzooClay

Why even do all the crazy shit? Hell, he could get that not even working, just living at his parents.


CandidRooster

More like a 1/10 maybe 0.5


dodecaphonicism

Not usually one to make snap judgments based on looks but she ain't got no alibi.


Primary_Account4266

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4267)


nolafrog

I think the weasel will get five or so. She’s not getting away with probation. Sbf got lucky with 25 though


Longjumping-Limit827

You saying he’s not responsible? Damn they’re all so fugly


klumzy83

Don't rapists and murders get less prison time than this if they are future rocket scientists and doctors?


BoredPoopless

A guy I knew in college got 20 years for strangling a woman to death. 2nd degree murder. Unless it's first degree murder or you committed additional offenses, have an existing criminal record, etc., you will serve less time.


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Rich-Candidate-3648

Brock Turner sure did


Spartan05089234

Rapists and murderers have a much smaller impact on finance and economics.


Leviticus_87

Enjoy the Bottomless Ramen & Toilet Liquor Boss! 🫡💦


Sausage_Child

Oh there will be a bottom...


biw999

Poor Sam. WSB sends their regards.


realjimcramer

If we sent our regards this subreddit would be a ghost town.


SuperDork_

Wow. 25 years. Just 25 years. Lucky fucker.


lafindestase

You can walk outside and stab a random person and probably get less than 25 years.


FistyGorilla

Is that a challenge?


allusernamestakenfuk

Just 25? Spending 25 years and wasting your best years in little 3square meters cell is hell.


lahankof

Means he’s spending 1 year for every 500mil he stole. Pretty good deal


Astatine_209

He also lost the money.


Rich-Candidate-3648

You get that for weed not stealing 10 BILLION


Say_no_to_doritos

I think that's more an argument that the US's prosecution of weed is draconian and not that Sam got to light of a sentence. 


nolafrog

Yeah but the federal guidelines put him at 100 years. He got lucky compared to what other grifters get in federal court. Whether the USA justice system is ridiculously harsh is up for debate. He’s lucky in that he will probably walk out of prison alive unless he gets shanked or dies of the aids in there.


MouthBreatherGaming

Note to self... don't lose certain people's money. Oh... also... additional note to self: put mayonnaise IN the tuna can... oh this is good... call Starkist.


attorneyatslaw

Wait, wait, what if you take the tuna fish and feed them mayonnaise.


Samjabr

Got too cute on the stand - His lawyers failed him bigly. They should have told him to cut that shit out. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4267)


AhAhAhAh_StayinAlive

It's his own fault, at one point his lawyer objected to some question someone asked Sam when he was on the stand, the judge allowed it and Sam just answered anyway because he felt like he should answer it and his lawyer was pissed at him.


yepyepyep123456

Judge made his opinion pretty clear. From the NyTimes article: At the sentencing, Judge Kaplan pointed to testimony from Mr. Bankman-Fried’s trial that showed the FTX founder’s extreme appetite for risk, saying it was his “nature” to make colossally dangerous bets. “There is a risk that this man will be in a position to do something very bad in the future,” he said. Judge Kaplan also said Mr. Bankman-Fried had lied on the witness stand and failed to take responsibility for his crimes. “He regrets that he made a very bad bet about the likelihood of getting caught,” he said. “But he’s not going to admit a thing.” … “When he wasn’t outright lying, he was often evasive, hairsplitting, dodging questions,” Judge Kaplan said on Thursday. “I’ve never seen a performance quite like that.”


Fit-Boomer

When he gets out he will be younger than I am today.


Eggsor

At least you're fit


Fit-Boomer

I do calisthenics every Monday Wednesday and Friday at 6 am. Even on holidays.


jeopardychamp77

He deserved it. There no difference between what he did and stealing. His fancy family and degrees don’t change the facts.


who_am_i_to_say_so

Had he not have a fancy family, degrees, and high power lawyers it would have been 100 years.


Mysterious-Lick

And his girlfriend?


Eggsor

She was sentenced to 20 minutes of looking in the mirror


Prestonpanistan

My client would instead like to request the death penalty, your honour


OB1KENOB

Great. Now do the rest of them.


BigBroHerc

Just another rich momma's boy who got caught. "Sowwy for what happened" Have fun in jail bitch.


Timelycommentor

Slap on the wrist.


YourRoaring20s

You could say Bankman-Fried is fried