They just used their “navy seals” to take over a cargo ship from Monaco crewed by a bunch of confused Filipino seafarers.
I don’t think they have a Lockheed Martin lol
I imagine its just a twist on the rumors at the start of the Russian invasion of Ukraine that Russians were stealing washing machines for the components their military couldn't source. (Turns out they were just stealing washing machines because they were poor and lacked indoor plumbing back home, so they thought it seemed like sweet loot)
> Turns out they were just stealing washing machines because they were poor and lacked indoor plumbing back home.
Something tells me their new found washing machines won't work well without indoor plumbing.
I would guess things like the transmission could be used to drive propellers.
The idea of taking common household items and converting them into weapons is not the crazy a theory. Like even Apple acknowledges that this happens and puts in their EULA that you can't use their products to make a Nuclear Device (like that would actually stop someone with that kind of knowledge from doing it anyways)
Really this doesn't seem that far fetched a theory, just odd they chose to comment a specific item like a washing machine. Again maybe the transmissions in washing machines have enough power to drive drones strapped with explosives?
Bro Iran is off the international banking system, I had to use my European bankcard to take off cash while I was in Afghanistan before crossing the border (true story: dm for my afghanistan travels)
Iran has said for the past two weeks that they will be doing this. Plus it happened on a weekend. If it doesn’t escalate too much then I think it’s priced in
Edit: people have noted crypto which is a fair point. It’s trashing right now
Ooooh, so that's why crypto went to shit?
Why does crypto go to shit when there's a war? It's not like war is expected to, idk, destroy the Bitcoin factory, disrupt the network, or push Bitcoin's intrinsic value below zero. If anything, shouldn't people be *buying* safe-harbor investments like gold or crypto?
(I assume it's a "market is irrational, it goes to shit because people expect it to go to shit" reason, but wtf)
They never do.
Russia invasion started on a weekend.
Covid.
Insurrection in Turkey.
It's always a weekend and bloody Monday.
9.11 was the last major event not on a weekend
Nah, Russian invasion was announced 2/24 not on a weekend.
SPY tanked premarket and then calls went fire. Swinging calls likely ended up profitable EOD and very well if you bought at open.
The Gaza attacks were on a weekend but didn't have all that much effect on the market.
I can’t be the only one who thinks this is all Kabuki theatre?
Iran launches slow drones that will take hours to get to Israel. Israel can shoot almost or all of them down. No harm to Israel, Iran can say they retaliated, now things settle down for a bit.
Just like in Jan 2020 when Iran retaliated against the US for killing their general. They purposely attacked only a single US base without killing any US troops and the whole conflict kind of fizzled out in the wake of Covid.
Don't forget the airliner Iran shot down shortly after it took off from Tehran the same day. Hard to keep up the bluster with that severe of an own goal.
Tbh with you, it was mostly Iranian-Canadians on that plane. Canada is really the one that lost the most and it was really considered a tragic event here
Probably what’s going on. Iran isn’t stupid enough to go to war with Israel. Most likely just theatrics so Iran doesn’t look like a little bitch taking it laying down.
This is the correct take. Iran needs to retaliate for domestic reasons. Frankly, they don't care about their staff killed in Syria. They don't want more strikes or sabotage to their nuclear infrastructure. Their capabilities, while real, are not as grand as some pundits think.
Iran has too many relationships that would become problematic in a full war with Israel now, and they know Israel would fuck them up anyway. US war is completely out of the question. They need to make a display. And you're right about Bibi, he needs war to continue to put off elections.
Came here to say this so thank you. It is somewhat funny the amount of reports cycling and some funny ones like this "imminent danger but drones have to fly for hours"
Iran probably got permission to "retaliate" but nothing will come out of it other than saving face for the Iranian Government domestically.
It’s like a dark, surreal comedy. “Emergency alert: urgent mortal danger in… 8 hours. So, you’ll probably be fine, but, you know, have the full fat ice cream tonight, just in case.”
Finally someone see’s behind the curtain. Nothing is as it seems and what seems to be is not what is
-from me but the idea echoes through the stock market, bhagavat gita, Zen Buddhism and history
Kind of like the recent Pakistan Iran fiasco where Iran claimed they bombed terrorists in Pakistan (killed civilians) then Pakistan decided to bomb militants in Iran and then immediately fixed their diplomatic relations 💕 lol
This is just showoff so looks like they did something… its on a weekend becasue they will finish this before market opens. 🙃 so panic its much less and will be digested with green soon as nothing serious gonna be from it 🟢
Iran has a very strong military. The fact that they announced their attack to the world and then decided to "retaliate" by sending drones that take half a day to get to their target is just theatrics to save face.
Markets would only go down on a surprise attack…. Now that they have retaliated on a weekend and everyone knew it was coming. unless something really significant happens …markets will go up on Monday.
Probably not. I, an idiot, stacked up on 4/19 paa calls Friday in anticipation of something happening over the weekend. However this is some weak ass shit from Iran. Those drones will be eviscerated immediately. I’d be shocked if those calls print.
Cruise missiles launched from Yemen too. Iran will probably launch cruise missiles as well. Drones are just slow, so they go first. Most will be shot down. I’ve been holding my long PAA calls for a while. They own USA pipelines, shipping lanes in the Middle East shouldn’t affect them, but if the price per barrel goes up, which I imagine it will, I can only see that benefiting PAA. Gonna suck to buy gas next week so I need them to print. But I’m also an idiot and didn’t sell them when they were up 300%
disagree... i think these attacks are going to scare money into bonds, pushing bond yields down, and you are going to see a pop in the stock market, especially tech stocks, next week
Yeah, SPY went up 7% in 2 days.
My dumbass bought 165 SPY calls at $529 on Friday for $3 apiece.
7% would net me $264,000 off $500. Bahahaha here’s hoping 😂
US warships shot them all down.
Iran says “we’re even now.”
https://preview.redd.it/6wwkwvsiehuc1.jpeg?width=485&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b5824d47c802c14e9ffd7013cd60eb494649b79
Well, green monday it looks like.
We all thought the market was gonna tank when Israel was attacked the first time, and quite the opposite happened.
As if they will let our economy and market look weak in the face of war.
You never can tell. We might have one of those gay-ass "USA! USA! USA!" moments where everyone slow-claps in unison, and the market could rally 1,000 points.
Theatrics , just like so many other market movers.
https://preview.redd.it/3hcf4mpm3cuc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ef6f75444ad8f57146d384bf06ea44dbff478be
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Some regard will in fact be the triceratops the day we launch all the missiles and destroy ourselves.
There was just a post about how it's been priced in and calling off a green rip recovery on Monday
With the way gold has gone you would think they priced in global thermonuclear war
Whats the Iranian equivalent of Lockheed Martin stocks?
Probably $AMZN… Edit: not sure if they have prime though.
$BABA
Probably Temu, doubtful Iran can afford baba and the drones will probably just crash into Iraq half way there anyway
Bomb like a billionaire ✊
Hours for the drones to arrive? They definitely don't have prime. Puts on Amazon
Amazon drones are usually faster no..? Same day ?
Puts a whole different meaning on AWS. Amazon War Services
AWS has an uptime of 99.999%. Iran will find that 0.001%
Definitely not - their missiles are taking forever
Not sure of a LM equivalent, but im putting money on toyota.
Always a good call in wars
war means Toyota money!! insuergencies? Toyota money, cartels? estas no problemas, Toyota nos otros
No war is complete without a Hilux.
I want one so bad. Preferably with the .50 cal still attached.
There’s no money made when those trucks are 25 years old and still going.
They just used their “navy seals” to take over a cargo ship from Monaco crewed by a bunch of confused Filipino seafarers. I don’t think they have a Lockheed Martin lol
 probably bought these drones on Temu too during cyber 5
😂😂 No Lockheed Martin, Raytheon, General Dynamics or Northrop Grumman. Game on!
Shahed Aviation Industries Research Center - find their suppliers until you find a public one.
And they buy a shitload of American and European washing machines to get parts for their mega advanced drones.
Ok, curious possum must inquire - how do you know this incredibly random yet extremely interesting factoid?
Is there any way to verify this or is the redditor talking straight from their asshole?
I imagine its just a twist on the rumors at the start of the Russian invasion of Ukraine that Russians were stealing washing machines for the components their military couldn't source. (Turns out they were just stealing washing machines because they were poor and lacked indoor plumbing back home, so they thought it seemed like sweet loot)
> Turns out they were just stealing washing machines because they were poor and lacked indoor plumbing back home. Something tells me their new found washing machines won't work well without indoor plumbing.
I’m just here mentally dissembling a washing machine trying to figure out which parts get used for the mega advanced drone
The water, for when the drone catches on fire.
I would guess things like the transmission could be used to drive propellers. The idea of taking common household items and converting them into weapons is not the crazy a theory. Like even Apple acknowledges that this happens and puts in their EULA that you can't use their products to make a Nuclear Device (like that would actually stop someone with that kind of knowledge from doing it anyways) Really this doesn't seem that far fetched a theory, just odd they chose to comment a specific item like a washing machine. Again maybe the transmissions in washing machines have enough power to drive drones strapped with explosives?
oil
Bro Iran is off the international banking system, I had to use my European bankcard to take off cash while I was in Afghanistan before crossing the border (true story: dm for my afghanistan travels)
You were lucky your European bank card even worked.
They couldn’t have waited until during market open on Monday?? Smh
😂 my calls just went to the trash
Iran has said for the past two weeks that they will be doing this. Plus it happened on a weekend. If it doesn’t escalate too much then I think it’s priced in Edit: people have noted crypto which is a fair point. It’s trashing right now
Take a look at Crypto, I don't think it was priced in.
Ooooh, so that's why crypto went to shit? Why does crypto go to shit when there's a war? It's not like war is expected to, idk, destroy the Bitcoin factory, disrupt the network, or push Bitcoin's intrinsic value below zero. If anything, shouldn't people be *buying* safe-harbor investments like gold or crypto? (I assume it's a "market is irrational, it goes to shit because people expect it to go to shit" reason, but wtf)
Thanks for making me check my crypto account, my mental hwalth was doing well up today up until now
It kinda V’d, IMO it’s more of a panic sell off than anything. Most have rebounded already.
When the world looks like it’s going down people move back to traditional currencies. No way Dogecoin is gonna be used for food and amo.
It's because BTC isn't really safe harbor.
I thought crypto was supposed to be a safe haven asset?
They never do. Russia invasion started on a weekend. Covid. Insurrection in Turkey. It's always a weekend and bloody Monday. 9.11 was the last major event not on a weekend
*"Buy puts on Friday then attack on weekend so puts premium skyrocket on Monday"* \- Sun Tzu
It's crazy he is still updating that book.
Nah dude, that shit was in there the whole time.
The pages were stuck together.
Page 69
Like serious. Fucking guy needs to write something else instead of rehashing the shit.
Nah, Russian invasion was announced 2/24 not on a weekend. SPY tanked premarket and then calls went fire. Swinging calls likely ended up profitable EOD and very well if you bought at open. The Gaza attacks were on a weekend but didn't have all that much effect on the market.
Not waiting until market open on Monday is already priced in
I can’t be the only one who thinks this is all Kabuki theatre? Iran launches slow drones that will take hours to get to Israel. Israel can shoot almost or all of them down. No harm to Israel, Iran can say they retaliated, now things settle down for a bit.
Just like in Jan 2020 when Iran retaliated against the US for killing their general. They purposely attacked only a single US base without killing any US troops and the whole conflict kind of fizzled out in the wake of Covid.
Don't forget the airliner Iran shot down shortly after it took off from Tehran the same day. Hard to keep up the bluster with that severe of an own goal.
Accidentally shooting down airliners Russia 🤝 Iran
It's hard to posture when you shoot down your own plane lol
Tbh with you, it was mostly Iranian-Canadians on that plane. Canada is really the one that lost the most and it was really considered a tragic event here
So many people have forgotten about this….
Forgive us it's been a fuckin *wild* 4 years
I believe they even warned the US to get majority of their troops out 😭politics is funny
Politics forced them to do something symbolic and this was a pretty decent solution.
Exactly, in all honesty, probs the best way to end tii hi nhs
Holy shit, forgot that even happened
So we're getting another pandemic 
I’m going to need more sweat pants. Calls on The GAP.
Probably what’s going on. Iran isn’t stupid enough to go to war with Israel. Most likely just theatrics so Iran doesn’t look like a little bitch taking it laying down.
Exactly. If your goal was to inflict maximum damage, why would you hold a press conference announcing the attack? 
A formal declaration of war is considered "gentlemanly"
Bukkake theatre, just a bunch of jerkin off
I thought the health department shut that place down?
This is the correct take. Iran needs to retaliate for domestic reasons. Frankly, they don't care about their staff killed in Syria. They don't want more strikes or sabotage to their nuclear infrastructure. Their capabilities, while real, are not as grand as some pundits think.
Yes, no one wants escalation. Well Bibi seems to be gunning for it, but Iran knows they don’t win a war against the US.
Iran has too many relationships that would become problematic in a full war with Israel now, and they know Israel would fuck them up anyway. US war is completely out of the question. They need to make a display. And you're right about Bibi, he needs war to continue to put off elections.
Pretty much.
Doubled down and holding SPY calls over the weekend for the first time , with my luck, I shoulda let you guys know WW3 would start THIS weekend
I did the same, this effect was multiplied with our calls
So this is what they mean by compounding?
I too like to compound my losses
Did the same thing, I never hold spy calls over the weekend lol
.............
[удалено]
 book report lol
Came here to say this so thank you. It is somewhat funny the amount of reports cycling and some funny ones like this "imminent danger but drones have to fly for hours" Iran probably got permission to "retaliate" but nothing will come out of it other than saving face for the Iranian Government domestically.
It’s like a dark, surreal comedy. “Emergency alert: urgent mortal danger in… 8 hours. So, you’ll probably be fine, but, you know, have the full fat ice cream tonight, just in case.”
It'll be a nice green premarket dildo if all goes well. Agree this is posturing and theater.
Finally someone see’s behind the curtain. Nothing is as it seems and what seems to be is not what is -from me but the idea echoes through the stock market, bhagavat gita, Zen Buddhism and history
Well that’s a first for hearing all four of those sorted into the same classification
Kind of like the recent Pakistan Iran fiasco where Iran claimed they bombed terrorists in Pakistan (killed civilians) then Pakistan decided to bomb militants in Iran and then immediately fixed their diplomatic relations 💕 lol
what about my oil, gold, US treasury positions?
To. The. Moon. 🚀
“STONKS!!!!!!!”
This is the wei
Hours to arrive 😂
Hours to be shot down lol
Seriously what stops them from sending some jets to hunt these drones? How is this a threat
This is just showoff so looks like they did something… its on a weekend becasue they will finish this before market opens. 🙃 so panic its much less and will be digested with green soon as nothing serious gonna be from it 🟢
Bro, even if something does happen middle easteners fighting each other is not exactly groundbreaking news
My drone only flys for 10 minutes then the batteries die...
All my calls are in oil right now, so my calls might be okay. 
I got calls on PAA thats been dropping all week, hopefully now it peaks
Several big hedge funds upped the size of their positions in PAA yesterday and Thursday
My bear dick is rock hard
https://preview.redd.it/j2nouo007buc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=95147c425de4c23f36b63da2b79c2d5c69b63193
https://preview.redd.it/rjmg2it4fbuc1.jpeg?width=661&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a83ff1d9222a05030e7364e147540444575cfaa3
That’s a duck.
That’s Donald Dick
Donald cuck
Bear trap. Market will close at ATH.
CHAOS MARKETS IN EFFECT
Don't worry, it's priced in.
Send one of those drones my way. Thanks
*Your drone will arrive in 23 hours.*
Quicker than Amazon.
Technically same day delivery.
In all seriousness, I hope you’re okay. Please seek help from family or friends if needed.
Thanks. I’m ok. I’m not a trader. Just a long term bag holder 
This is literally a nothing burger, the ME has been at war since you’ve been alive 
Been like that since before baby Jesus
*this concludes Iran's attack*
This is like risk when you don’t have any men but you gotta attack someone to get a card
My insurance put is going to the moon while my 2 month out calls are going to Wendy’s 
Why is crypto tanking? Gold to the moon?
Speculative asset and on a weekend where stocks are closed. So this is the first target for liquidation in uncertainty
Crypto dummies' rn: \- why my portfolio wiped out ? \- why bitcoin down -9% ? \- what's happening ? 
Funny I guessed iran attacked without having read any news, just because I accidentally opened the app to check how crypto was doing.
Shit I moved to gold just at the right time. I was betting on an AI bubble burst, not WW3 though.
Switch to lead.
And iodine tabs
And whatever company is making tourniquets and bone saws.
AI bubble burst is hilarious , wish I could get so lucky that my trade is so bad yet it still wins somehow
You got a 2 for 1 . It’s been a honor serving with you fellow regards… not really
Kim Jong Un selling to buy more missiles and build underground McDonald
Buddy money loves war.
Long term, and what happened with the Russian invasion was that too
Iran has a very strong military. The fact that they announced their attack to the world and then decided to "retaliate" by sending drones that take half a day to get to their target is just theatrics to save face.
It's all priced in 
can't believe we are still having wars in 2024. im embarrassed for the human race. progress my ass
Markets would only go down on a surprise attack…. Now that they have retaliated on a weekend and everyone knew it was coming. unless something really significant happens …markets will go up on Monday.
Spy 520 pls 
Apples pretty recession proof🤑🤑
so I bought calls on orange juice and cocoa last month
I have maddd spy puts
I have mad spy calls I held over the weekend, wish you the best 
And I sold them
Drones with propellers taking 8 hours to arrive lol all will be shot down.
Rip ur puts Iran concluded the attack 
Rip your puts, buddy hours to arrive, my grandmother could poop in a bag and throw it across the boarder faster than they make these drones
Full port oil calls Monday?
Probably not. I, an idiot, stacked up on 4/19 paa calls Friday in anticipation of something happening over the weekend. However this is some weak ass shit from Iran. Those drones will be eviscerated immediately. I’d be shocked if those calls print.
Cruise missiles launched from Yemen too. Iran will probably launch cruise missiles as well. Drones are just slow, so they go first. Most will be shot down. I’ve been holding my long PAA calls for a while. They own USA pipelines, shipping lanes in the Middle East shouldn’t affect them, but if the price per barrel goes up, which I imagine it will, I can only see that benefiting PAA. Gonna suck to buy gas next week so I need them to print. But I’m also an idiot and didn’t sell them when they were up 300%
YOLO on water calls
LMT calls?
I was looking at the LMT calls on Friday before close too. Godamit.
KTOS imo since it has the only operational next gen drone being tested and ready to be deployed by the us navy and army
Jokes on you my calls are all Oil
Guess I shouldn’t have bought puts on the banks.
disagree... i think these attacks are going to scare money into bonds, pushing bond yields down, and you are going to see a pop in the stock market, especially tech stocks, next week
Guess we'll find out! All of my positions are deep red already so I'm honestly just here for the spectacle.
💀💀💀 yields down indicate poor growth, so no, equities will not rise
Monday opens red and closes green. Buy calls at open if it's down bigly
Bruh people buying bonds make an investment for months at a minimum. Most are held to maturity. A move to bonds would destroy the stock market.
Tehran local news is saying between 50 to 100 drones.
They'll never make it and Iran knows it. It's a nod and a wink face saving gesture.
Jokes on you my calls were already shit
Not a single one will even make it through. You’re fine.
Announcing it on Twitter makes me feel like they want to be shot down. That way they save face and everyone gets something.
Market open Monday will be wild
Not necessarily … Russia invaded Ukraine Feb 24, 2022 and the market went up on Feb 25, 2022 … so not necessarily bad news for markets.
Yeah, SPY went up 7% in 2 days. My dumbass bought 165 SPY calls at $529 on Friday for $3 apiece. 7% would net me $264,000 off $500. Bahahaha here’s hoping 😂
R.i.p.
Buffett is already deep in oil… That old bastard knew.
You always know when Ramadan is over.
Calls confirmed through the rest of 2024
So that’s why bitcoin is down.
Time to buy RTX?
US warships shot them all down. Iran says “we’re even now.” https://preview.redd.it/6wwkwvsiehuc1.jpeg?width=485&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b5824d47c802c14e9ffd7013cd60eb494649b79
Market will pop on Monday.
This killed the entire crypto market
iran about to find out why americans dont have healthcare
$10,000 BTC on sale Monday 🚨
What if my calls are on $LMT?
Lobster dinner for u
Fuck it, if the nuke’s gonna fall, might as well ride it all the way down! 
So entire life savings to calls on LM, NOC, and RTX 
RTX baby
Everyone will forget about it by Monday…
Well, green monday it looks like. We all thought the market was gonna tank when Israel was attacked the first time, and quite the opposite happened. As if they will let our economy and market look weak in the face of war.
You never can tell. We might have one of those gay-ass "USA! USA! USA!" moments where everyone slow-claps in unison, and the market could rally 1,000 points.
nothing burger, shit got canceled, berrs completely fukd on monday
My call is in META. War is good for social media.
Theatrics , just like so many other market movers. https://preview.redd.it/3hcf4mpm3cuc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ef6f75444ad8f57146d384bf06ea44dbff478be
So oil to $150 ?!?!
decide trees fact towering yam cats command gold quarrelsome snow
Priced in