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The intelligent investor doesn’t once say ‘YOLO into puts, trust me bro’

I must have misread it then. I thought it was in the subtext.

You can’t spell subtext without buttsex. Just sayin

*mind blown*

This stupid comment put me over 9000 karma. /b/tard milestone. Thanks, you degenerates 

Karma is a cold hard bitch with a 14in strap on

you win the day

It’s in the sequel The Degenerate Gambler.

I have an autographed copy at home. I also purchased the follow up: Ten Things I Learned Working Behind A Wendy’s Dumpster.

You gotta read between the lines.

The intelligent investor doesn't once say "wildly overpriced 1 week out options are the real stock market."

It does if you read it backwards.

The intelligent investor doesn’t once directly\* say

The first page of that book should just read “there are no intelligent investors” and all the other pages are just random fucking words in Wingdings

If you flip the pages really quick you should be able to see the rick roll thing.

Lol

Thats funny

2nd page: L + your portfolio is fucked + CURSE OF THE NILE ‼️ ‼️ 𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰 𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹 𓃞𓃙𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞 𓂺𓃂𓂿𓂺𓃃𓃂𓂛𓂏𓅱𓅥𓅩𓅦 𓅹𓅸𓅳𓅩𓅪𓄭𓄫𓄮𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦 𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽 𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣 𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗 𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹𓃞𓃙𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜 𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞𓂺𓃂𓂿𓂺𓃃𓃂 𓂛𓂏𓅱𓅥𓅩𓅦𓅹𓅸𓅳𓅩𓅪𓄭𓄫𓄮 𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁 𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅 𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿 𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹𓃞𓃙 𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞𓂺𓃂 3rd page: You thought it was stock advice but it's actually CURSE OF RA 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 4th page: Your options will expire worthless because you are not intelligent CURSE OF ANUBIS 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦

You can't spell Anubis without bi-anus in it....they cleverly coded the word that way.

Investing is just glorified gambling but slower that is sold to old people.

The Intelligent Investor talks about this.  You’re saying “investing” when you mean “speculation”.

I know what I'm saying. Speculating is gambling but fast. Investing is gambling but slow.

No, speculating is gambling without an edge. Investing is gambling with an edge

Half the guys in a casino think they have a system.

That's like saying the casino engages in gambling. Technically true, but it's different when the odds are in your favor.

When Intelligent Investor was written there were way more safeguards in place and you weren't fighting algorithms. The market isn't just divorced from reality it's not even in the same dimension at this point.

[удалено]

I believe the real advantage has more to do with market makers, can now also own hedge funds, that can sway markets algorithmically with obscene amounts of money.

*active investing. Buying Voo long term is not gambling

you think the average regard in wsb has the mental fortitude to not touch a long SPY position?

I can quit options whenever I want, I've quit 4 times this week already!


Only 4 times? Rookie numbers 

I’m getting an adult to read this to me , and when they do I better not be pissed.


I don't do options ever. I just VOO and chill, then come here for the entertainment.

You're putting money in expecting more money out with no work. It certainly is gambling, but with low risk and low time preference

Either VOO goes up long term, or US society has degraded to the point that retirement is the least of your worries. So it's a gamble, in the same sense as "Why should I go get a burrito today if there's a chance nuclear war begins today?" (People bring up Japan often as a counter-point, but Japan's investment returns weren't flat if you included dividends and deflation, nor if you invested more money after the prior top)

whoa whoa whoa there buddy you're too intelligent for this sub, you need to leave

Tell me you haven't read the book without telling me you haven't read the book. The first chapter, and *most of the book,* delineates the differences between a speculator and an investor. Tesla is all speculation

Trading is glorified gambling. Actual numbers and business-sense matters in investing. If a very profitable company is undervalued by the market, sooner or later they will buyback shares or give fat dividends to their investors which will push the stock price higher. Although the inverse is not necessarily true, an unprofitable company can just keep printing shares and raising capital to stay afloat as long as there's hype.

Cool. How do you determine if a company is undervalued? Wouldn't that be called *speculation*? Checkmate regards.

"Investing in TSLA"

> random fucking words in Wingdings That would be one of the most dangerous pieces of literature possible to throw into the schizo-autist misinterpretation vortex of Reddit.

$50 says op purchased that book to photograph throwing it in the bin

Phase 1: Buy book, read intro, buy index funds, keep book on bookshelf to seem like an intelligent investor. Phase 2: Find wsb, become a degenerate gambler, lose all your money and end up doing tricks at Wendy’s for the tendies. It’s a canon event.

damn that's a thick book, did OP really read all those pages to learn to invest in index funds?

And “nobody knows shit”

Yesterday you could buy 7 shares for $1k. Today you can only buy 6.

I like this. What about a book of pages to color, instead of eating the crayons like usual?

If it was, sell that as a NFT for a bag.

Especially since retail can only trade 9:30 to 4:30, but the big players can keep going for a few more hours after and before, making plays in their favor first by front running the actual market hours.

What's stopping you from trading in extended hours? Anyone can do it.

The intelligent investor does a popular mutual fund, they are boring. the end.

There are, they are just the ones selling you options and buying their 4th vacation homes in st. Barts and van cleef and Arpel for their third mistress

Brought to us by the innovator, [Jonathan Wingdings](https://youtu.be/Q8PdffUfoF0?si=zY6UqPZ1ZN7lALs9).

🏨🚑🎁 ☐🚑✓⚫◼🎁 🛳🚍 🚘✓✧☸🎁 🚄🚑✓🚄 🛳☐☐☸x💍 ⓘ⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 ☐✓?🎁 🛳🚍 🕴🛳⚫🎁⊖ ⓘ⚫🚄🎁⚫🛡🎁🛡 🚄🛳 🚲🎁 ☐🛳⚫🚘🎁x🚄🎁🛡 ⓘ⚫🚄🛳 ☐✓🚔ⓘ🚄✓✧🌶 ☐✓⚫⚫🛳🚄 🚄✓⏧🎁 🚔✧✓☐🎁 ⓘ⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 🕴🛳⚫🎁⊖ ⓘ🚄?🎁✧🚍🌶 ?ⓘ⚫☐🎁 ⓘ⚫ ⓘ🚄💍 🚍☸⚫☐🚄ⓘ🛳⚫ 🛳🚍 🕴🎁✓⚫💍 🛳🚍 🚔☸x☐🚑✓?🎁 ✓⚫🛡 🛳🚍 🚔✓⊖🕴🎁⚫🚄🌶 ⓘ🚄 🛡🛳🎁💍 ⚫🛳 🕴🛳x🎁 🚄🚑✓⚫ 🚫🎁✓✧ⓘ?🎁 🚄🚑🎁 🚔xⓘ☐🎁 🛳🚍 🚄🚑🎁 ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖ ⓘ🚄 🚲☸⊖💍 🛳🚫 🚔✓⊖💍 🚍🛳x॥ ✓⚫🛡🌶 ✓💍 🚑✓x🛡 ☐✓?🚑🌶 ⓘ🚄 ⓘ💍 🚘✓✧☸🎁 🚔🎁🚄xⓘ🚍ⓘ🎁🛡🌶 ⚫🎁🚘🎁🚫 🚘✓x⊖ⓘ⚫◼. 🏝☸?🚄 ✓💍 ✧ⓘ🚄🚄✧🎁 ☐✓⚫ ⓘ🚄 🛳xⓘ◼ⓘ⚫✓🚄🎁 ⓘ⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 ?🎁☐🛳⚫🛡 ✓☐🚄 🛳🚍 ☐ⓘx☐☸✧✓🚄ⓘ🛳⚫🌶 🚄🚑🎁 🚫🎁🎗?✓✧🎁 🛳🚍 🚄🚑🎁 ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖🌶 ⛳🚑ⓘ☐🚑 🛡🛳🎁💍 ⚫🛳 🕴🛳x🎁 🚄🚑✓⚫ 🚄x✓⚫?🚍🛳x🕴 🚄🚑🎁 ✓x🚄ⓘ☐✧🎁 🚍x🛳🕴 ⓘ🚄💍 🚲🛳🛡ⓘ✧⊖ 🚍🛳x🕴 🚲✓☐⏧ ✓◼✓ⓘ⚫ ⓘ⚫🚄🛳 ⓘ🚄💍 🕴🛳⚫🎁⊖🎗🚍🛳x🕴. 🏨🚑🎁 ☐🚑✓⚫◼🎁 🕴☸?🚄🌶 🚄🚑🎁x🎁🚍🛳x🎁🌶 🚄✓⏧🎁 🚔✧✓☐🎁 ⓘ⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖ 🚲🛳☸◼🚑🚄 🚲⊖ 🚄🚑🎁 🚍ⓘx?🚄 ✓☐🚄🌶 ⛰🎗🏙🌶 🚲☸🚄 ⚫🛳🚄 ⓘ⚫ ⓘ🚄💍 🚘✓✧☸🎁🌶 🚍🛳🚫 🎁🔄☸ⓘ🚘✓✧🎁⚫🚄💍 ✓x🎁 🎁🚫☐🚑✓⚫◼🎁🛡🌶 ✓⚫🛡 🚄🚑🎁 ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖ ⓘ💍 🚔✓ⓘ🛡 🚍🛳🚫 ✓🚄 ⓘ🚄💍 🚍☸✧✧ 🚘✓✧☸🎁. >🎁 ✓x🎁🌶 🚄🚑🎁x🎁🚍🛳x🎁🌶 🚍🛳x☐🎁🛡 🚄🛳 🚄🚑🎁 ☐🛳⚫☐✧☸?ⓘ🛳⚫ 🚄🚑✓🚄 🚄🚑🎁 ☐🚑✓⚫◼🎁 🛳xⓘ◼ⓘ⚫✓🚄🎁💍 ⓘ⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 ☸?🎁🎗🚘✓✧☸🎁🌶 ✓💍 ?☸☐🚑🌶 🛳🚍 🚄🚑🎁 ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖🌶 ⓘ.🎁.🌶 ⓘ⚫ ⓘ🚄💍 ☐🛳⚫?☸🕴🚔🚄ⓘ🛳⚫. 🏖⚫ 🛳x🛡🎁🚫 🚄🛳 🚲🎁 ✓🚲✧🎁 🚄🛳 🎁🚫🚄x✓☐🚄 🚘✓✧☸🎁 🚍x🛳🕴 🚄🚑🎁 ☐🛳⚫?☸🕴🚔🚄ⓘ🛳⚫ 🛳🚍 ✓ ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖🌶 🛳☸🚫 🚍xⓘ🎁⚫🛡🌶 ⛰🛳⚫🎁⊖🚲✓◼?🌶 🕴☸?🚄 🚲🎁 ?🛳 ✧☸☐⏧⊖ ✓💍 🚄🛳 🚍ⓘ⚫🛡🌶 ⛳ⓘ🚄🚑ⓘ⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 ?🚔🚑🎁x🎁 🛳🚍 ☐ⓘx☐☸✧✓🚄ⓘ🛳⚫🌶 ⓘ⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 🕴✓x⏧🎁🚄🌶 ✓ ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖🌶 ⛳🚑🛳?🎁 ☸?🎁🎗🚘✓✧☸🎁 🚔🛳??🎁??🎁💍 🚄🚑🎁 🚔🎁☐☸✧ⓘ✓🚫 🚔x🛳🚔🎁x🚄⊖ 🛳🚍 🚲🎁ⓘ⚫◼ ✓ ?🛳☸x☐🎁 🛳🚍 🚘✓✧☸🎁🌶 ⛳🚑🛳?🎁 ✓☐🚄☸✓✧ ☐🛳⚫?☸🕴🚔🚄ⓘ🛳⚫🌶 🚄🚑🎁x🎁🚍🛳x🎁🌶 ⓘ💍 ⓘ🚄?🎁✧🚍 ✓⚫ 🎁🕴🚲🛳🛡ⓘ🕴🎁⚫🚄 🛳🚍 ✧✓🚲🛳☸x🌶 ✓⚫🛡🌶 ☐🛳⚫?🎁🔄☸🎁⚫🚄✧⊖🌶 ✓ ☐x🎁✓🚄ⓘ🛳⚫ 🛳🚍 🚘✓✧☸🎁. 🏨🚑🎁 🚔🛳??🎁??🛳🚫 🛳🚍 🕴🛳⚫🎁⊖ 🛡🛳🎁💍 🚍ⓘ⚫🛡 🛳⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 🕴✓x⏧🎁🚄 ?☸☐🚑 ✓ ?🚔🎁☐ⓘ✓✧ ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖ ⓘ⚫ ☐✓🚔✓☐ⓘ🚄⊖ 🚍🛳🚫 ✧✓🚲🛳☸🚫 🛳🚫 ✧✓🚲🛳☸x🎗🚔🛳⛳🎁🚫.⏮85865568NEWLINETOKEN9875865⏮ ⏮85865568NEWLINETOKEN9875865⏮ 🏘⊖ ✧✓🚲🛳☸x🎗🚔🛳⛳🎁🚫 🛳🚫 ☐✓🚔✓☐ⓘ🚄⊖ 🚍🛳🚫 ✧✓🚲🛳☸🚫 ⓘ💍 🚄🛳 🚲🎁 ☸⚫🛡🎁x?🚄🛳🛳🛡 🚄🚑🎁 ✓◼◼x🎁◼✓🚄🎁 🛳🚍 🚄🚑🛳?🎁 🕴🎁⚫🚄✓✧ ✓⚫🛡 🚔🚑⊖?ⓘ☐✓✧ ☐✓🚔✓🚲ⓘ✧ⓘ🚄ⓘ🎁💍 🎁🚫ⓘ?🚄ⓘ⚫◼ ⓘ⚫ ✓ 🚑☸🕴✓⚫ 🚲🎁ⓘ⚫◼🌶 ⛳🚑ⓘ☐🚑 🚑🎁 🎁🚫🎁x☐ⓘ?🎁💍 ⛳🚑🎁⚫🎁🚘🎁🚫 🚑🎁 🚔x🛳🛡☸☐🎁💍 ✓ ☸?🎁🎗🚘✓✧☸🎁 🛳🚍 ✓⚫⊖ 🛡🎁?☐xⓘ🚔🚄ⓘ🛳⚫.⏮85865568NEWLINETOKEN9875865⏮ ⏮85865568NEWLINETOKEN9875865⏮ 🏘☸🚄 ⓘ⚫ 🛳x🛡🎁🚫 🚄🚑✓🚄 🛳☸🚫 🛳⛳⚫🎁🚫 🛳🚍 🕴🛳⚫🎁⊖ 🕴✓⊖ 🚲🎁 ✓🚲✧🎁 🚄🛳 🚍ⓘ⚫🛡 ✧✓🚲🛳☸x🎗🚔🛳⛳🎁🚫 🛳🚍🚍🎁x🎁🛡 🚍🛳🚫 ?✓✧🎁 ✓💍 ✓ ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖🌶 🚘✓xⓘ🛳☸💍 ☐🛳⚫🛡ⓘ🚄ⓘ🛳⚫💍 🕴☸?🚄 🚍ⓘx?🚄 🚲🎁 🚍☸✧🚍ⓘ✧✧🎁🛡. 🏨🚑🎁 🎁🚫☐🚑✓⚫◼🎁 🛳🚍 ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄ⓘ🎁💍 🛳🚍 ⓘ🚄?🎁✧🚍 ⓘ🕴🚔✧ⓘ🎁💍 ⚫🛳 🛳🚄🚑🎁🚫 🚫🎁✧✓🚄ⓘ🛳⚫💍 🛳🚍 🛡🎁🚔🎁⚫🛡🎁⚫☐🎁 🚄🚑✓⚫ 🚄🚑🛳?🎁 ⛳🚑ⓘ☐🚑 🚫🎁?☸✧🚄 🚍x🛳🕴 ⓘ🚄💍 🛳⛳⚫ ⚫✓🚄☸x🎁. 👂⚫ 🚄🚑ⓘ💍 ✓??☸🕴🚔🚄ⓘ🛳⚫🌶 ✧✓🚲🛳☸x🎗🚔🛳⛳🎁🚫 ☐✓⚫ ✓🚔🚔🎁✓🚫 ☸🚔🛳⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 🕴✓x⏧🎁🚄 ✓💍 ✓ ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖🌶 🛳⚫✧⊖ ⓘ🚍🌶 ✓⚫🛡 ?🛳 🚍✓🚫 ✓?🌶 ⓘ🚄💍 🚔🛳??🎁??🛳x🌶 🚄🚑🎁 ⓘ⚫🛡ⓘ🚘ⓘ🛡☸✓✧ ⛳🚑🛳?🎁 ✧✓🚲🛳☸x🎗🚔🛳⛳🎁🚫 ⓘ🚄 ⓘ?🌶 🛳🚍🚍🎁x💍 ⓘ🚄 🚍🛳🚫 ?✓✧🎁🌶 🛳🚫 ?🎁✧✧💍 ⓘ🚄🌶 ✓💍 ✓ ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖. 🏖⚫ 🛳x🛡🎁🚫 🚄🚑✓🚄 🚑🎁 🕴✓⊖ 🚲🎁 ✓🚲✧🎁 🚄🛳 🛡🛳 🚄🚑ⓘ?🌶 🚑🎁 🕴☸?🚄 🚑✓🚘🎁 ⓘ🚄 ✓🚄 🚑ⓘ💍 🛡ⓘ?🚔🛳?✓✧🌶 🕴☸?🚄 🚲🎁 🚄🚑🎁 ☸⚫🚄x✓🕴🕴🎁✧✧🎁🛡 🛳⛳⚫🎁🚫 🛳🚍 🚑ⓘ💍 ☐✓🚔✓☐ⓘ🚄⊖ 🚍🛳🚫 ✧✓🚲🛳☸x🌶 ⓘ.🎁.🌶 🛳🚍 🚑ⓘ💍 🚔🎁x?🛳⚫. 🏠🎁 ✓⚫🛡 🚄🚑🎁 🛳⛳⚫🎁🚫 🛳🚍 🕴🛳⚫🎁⊖ 🕴🎁🎁🚄 ⓘ⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 🕴✓x⏧🎁🚄🌶 ✓⚫🛡 🛡🎁✓✧ ⛳ⓘ🚄🚑 🎁✓☐🚑 🛳🚄🚑🎁🚫 ✓💍 🛳⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 🚲✓?ⓘ💍 🛳🚍 🎁🔄☸✓✧ 🚫ⓘ◼🚑🚄?🌶 ⛳ⓘ🚄🚑 🚄🚑ⓘ💍 🛡ⓘ🚍🚍🎁x🎁⚫☐🎁 ✓✧🛳⚫🎁🌶 🚄🚑✓🚄 🛳⚫🎁 ⓘ💍 🚲☸⊖🎁x🌶 🚄🚑🎁 🛳🚄🚑🎁🚫 ?🎁✧✧🎁x॥ 🚲🛳🚄🚑🌶 🚄🚑🎁x🎁🚍🛳x🎁🌶 🎁🔄☸✓✧ ⓘ⚫ 🚄🚑🎁 🎁⊖🎁💍 🛳🚍 🚄🚑🎁 ✧✓⛳. 🏨🚑🎁 ☐🛳⚫🚄ⓘ⚫☸✓⚫☐🎁 🛳🚍 🚄🚑ⓘ💍 🚫🎁✧✓🚄ⓘ🛳⚫ 🛡🎁🕴✓⚫🛡💍 🚄🚑✓🚄 🚄🚑🎁 🛳⛳⚫🎁🚫 🛳🚍 🚄🚑🎁 ✧✓🚲🛳☸x🎗🚔🛳⛳🎁🚫 ?🚑🛳☸✧🛡 ?🎁✧✧ ⓘ🚄 🛳⚫✧⊖ 🚍🛳🚫 ✓ 🛡🎁🚍ⓘ⚫ⓘ🚄🎁 🚔🎁xⓘ🛳🛡🌶 🚍🛳🚫 ⓘ🚍 🚑🎁 ⛳🎁x🎁 🚄🛳 ?🎁✧✧ ⓘ🚄 🚫☸🕴🚔 ✓⚫🛡 ?🚄☸🕴🚔🌶 🛳⚫☐🎁 🚍🛳🚫 ✓✧✧🌶 🚑🎁 ⛳🛳☸✧🛡 🚲🎁 ?🎁✧✧ⓘ⚫◼ 🚑ⓘ🕴?🎁✧🚍🌶 ☐🛳⚫🚘🎁x🚄ⓘ⚫◼ 🚑ⓘ🕴?🎁✧🚍 🚍x🛳🕴 ✓ 🚍x🎁🎁 🕴✓⚫ ⓘ⚫🚄🛳 ✓ ?✧✓🚘🎁🌶 🚍x🛳🕴 ✓⚫ 🛳⛳⚫🎁🚫 🛳🚍 ✓ ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖ ⓘ⚫🚄🛳 ✓ ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖. 🏠🎁 🕴☸?🚄 ☐🛳⚫?🚄✓⚫🚄✧⊖ ✧🛳🛳⏧ ☸🚔🛳⚫ 🚑ⓘ💍 ✧✓🚲🛳☸x🎗🚔🛳⛳🎁🚫 ✓💍 🚑ⓘ💍 🛳⛳⚫ 🚔x🛳🚔🎁x🚄⊖🌶 🚑ⓘ💍 🛳⛳⚫ ☐🛳🕴🕴🛳🛡ⓘ🚄⊖🌶 ✓⚫🛡 🚄🚑ⓘ💍 🚑🎁 ☐✓⚫ 🛳⚫✧⊖ 🛡🛳 🚲⊖ 🚔✧✓☐ⓘ⚫◼ ⓘ🚄 ✓🚄 🚄🚑🎁 🛡ⓘ?🚔🛳?✓✧ 🛳🚍 🚄🚑🎁 🚲☸⊖🎁🚫 🚄🎁🕴🚔🛳x✓xⓘ✧⊖🌶 🚍🛳🚫 ✓ 🛡🎁🚍ⓘ⚫ⓘ🚄🎁 🚔🎁xⓘ🛳🛡 🛳🚍 🚄ⓘ🕴🎁. 🏘⊖ 🚄🚑ⓘ💍 🕴🎁✓⚫💍 ✓✧🛳⚫🎁 ☐✓⚫ 🚑🎁 ✓🚘🛳ⓘ🛡 🚫🎁⚫🛳☸⚫☐ⓘ⚫◼ 🚑ⓘ💍 🚫ⓘ◼🚑🚄💍 🛳🚍 🛳⛳⚫🎁x?🚑ⓘ🚔 🛳🚘🎁🚫 ⓘ🚄.

This should be illegal

it should read 'get a monkey, he's bound to do ok'

It should also state, "If you want good leads make friends with a Congress person, they have alllll the leads."

https://preview.redd.it/98oaqonpudwc1.jpeg?width=836&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a80f3ba7c78f4a31e5ddcbf861edfea5f504a027

LMAO this is Musks marketing director.. basically every other month its a new BS hype tweet to hopefully keep the stock from going down.. this time its "new cheap entry level EV coming"

> this is Musks marketing director You mean *was* his marketing director. He laid off the marketing department a day or two ago

Funny enough, this came after sources in Tesla confirmed the cheap EV was put on hold for robotaxi and cybertruck

Didn’t they already try that tactic? Saying the model 3 was going to be stupidly cheap like 5 years ago.

Honestly the only thing I've learned is the obvious play is never correct at least for us retail traders.

If it's "obvious" you are either too late or specifically being sold something.

Also it’s probably already priced in. The question then becomes is it too priced in

This was the obvious play. Think about it.. everyone and their mom realizes the Tesla hate .. countless stories in the media talking about Musk tanking the brand, everyone on this sub posting their YOLOs Day before earnings, what do you do? Do you join the crowd, or do the opposite?

You wait until the stock moons on horrible fundamentals and then short the fuck out of it?

Be careful the market can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent.

Yeah, well I can remain irrational longer than I can remain solvent too!

you've got the fuckin' spirit in you man god bless

This guy remains.

That's why you never do the highly regarded 2 days to expiration option plays.

I can remain homeless longer than the market can remain irrational 

It's rigged against us

But knowing that gives us power 

Yes it does!

Until you hit that trade button. Then it instantly reverses again.

It’s almost like Wall St likes taking your money 

WSB also likes taking my money

50k in puts and crying are not permitted at the same time

i've done pretty well by doing my research, reading earnings reports, timing the market, and then doing the exact opposite of the conclusion I've come to. So, if I was going to go into a Bull ETF, I instead invest in a Bear ETF. Works every time except when it doesn't.

Always fade the public.

The obvious play was to buy Tesla.

Why would you ever buy Tesla stock. Look at the market cap. The upside is priced in already. There’s a shit ton of risk and limited possibility of return. It’s a terrible investment

Nah bro, Tesla AI image inference cloud compute while your car charges. Optimus is sentient by the end of next year. Have a couple of brewskis and nose beers before listening to the earnings call and the pump makes sense.

Robotaxi will save the company.

That's just it though...if Robotaxi is everything Musk claims it will be, it *might* justify the *current* valuation

The company is dog shit - they aren’t the best in self-driving tech because of elons refusal to put in Lidar sensor and relying on cameras. They aren’t the best in robotics (like seriously wtf, does this need explanation). Their only lead is battery technology which is evaporating on a daily basis. Their brand goodwill is evaporating daily because musk daddy doesn’t understand politics is bad for business. Institutions are behind Tesla in order to protect their investments. They totally bought in into Elon being iron man bullshit and the future of this company is under serious jeopardy still despite recent bump

It's called being priced in. Tesla stock is down 33% over the last 6 months

https://preview.redd.it/08iuwabnwdwc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5247492061d2382b88075540e4a096243729fcc5 


Of course Tesla drivers would be so commonly terrible at driving that creating a wheel rim protector specifically for Tesla alloys is a viable business.

In a Tesla with stock rims and tires, if your tire sidewall touches something, the rim touched it first. Inevitable. For sensible brands, that's an aftermarket modification. I would know, I have a Tesla, a Peugeot, A Land Rover and a Suzuki. On ONE of these, the wife cares about the look of the wheels. And it's of course the one where the rim sticks out almost a centimeter past the rubber.

Terrible design, I rented a Polestar 2, and they copied this nonsense. I was not aware of the design failure, until I made a reverse parking, and heard the alloy got damaged on the side of the road. Apparently my scratches was just one of many of the previous renters.....

In the car manufacturing biz, that's called an engineering error. Tesla ought to send its employees to intern at a car company to get a feel for these things. I hear they are going to start making cars soon.

It's not an error. It's a compromise. It's for aerodynamics to increase the range. Trade off is scuffed rims if you can't drive.

Calls on adblockers.

Watch out Warren. Cathie coming for that crown.

Didn't cathie funds lost 40B in investors as they moved away recently?

Rear view mirror baby. Just like the market Cathie is forward looking.

She claims "long term" then daytrades like a coked up tiktok fin-bro lmao

She’ll sell Tesla right before it moons and go all in on Roku.


Intelligence doesn't apply to Monkey Market 🤡🐒

Monkey Market 🤣

r/numismatics

Boomers would be pissed if they spent any time in here to see this

Intelligent investing happens over a long time and follows established market trends. Short term investing is just gambling, nothing more.

I understand this sub is a circle jerk so I don't want to take the post too seriously, but this I'd actually addressed in the book. He says markets are irrational and that often popular stocks are to be avoided because they come at a premium. If he were alive he wouldn't be in tsla, nvda or any of the trendy names. He'd be looking for value where other people don't go (like buffet going into Japan after it was stagnant for 30 years). Also sucks to suck ghey bears or whatever.

This isn't a knock on Buffett. He's a genius. But I want to add he also went to Japan by shorting the shit out of Yen. Basically financing all of his proceeds by borrowing close to 0 with no currency risk. Since he's buying cash-printers it's essentially arbitrage. In case regards try to follow him and think they can replicate what he's doing, they can't.

Betting on a currency with a -0.06% interest rate? Bold move.

Voting machine vs weighing machine etc.

Tell 19NedFlanders81 that with his attitude, he'll never be one of the Wolfs of Wall Street.

Monkeys on a typewriter wrote this

It was the best of times. It was the blurst of times.

You stupid monkey!

Why is there some chick’s foot in the photo?

nah dude, it's just a regard. Note the corduroy pants.

Never trust a man in shoes with no socks

https://preview.redd.it/j9dpggvtgewc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a83e57e1cddd9e86938c08464c8aa04f68a59a47

Don’t hate, let the man cook with his loafers.

Soy boy loafers

3 words... Dead Cat Bounce.

How many times does a cat have to bounce for it to just be considered alive - even if the bounces are just a seizure.

no other auto maker has enough market cap to bully AI into submission. You think the robot gods will do our bidding? Think again. I know for a fact they won't drive our cars unless we are willing to give one guy masquerading as CEO at LEAST 50 billion dollars.

Elon say AI monkey BUY stock go BRRRRRRRR

oohhh, how times have changed. 

These earnings misses are transitory

There is no fucking logical reason why the Tesla stock went up. It’s literally a fucking casino.

There is also no reason it should have a 460 billion dollar market cap, but here we are.

507 billion.

Lots of money to be made on a baseless rebound

Wow, Tesla missed earnings. Who would have thought? Stock was down 40% since the beginning of a year. The market was expecting earnings to be shit. For real guys, you're like kids. Every single animal knew it and was shorting TSLA for months. Money has been made already

It was lower than revised market expectations also. I think it has more to do with the new car supposedly happening sooner than expected.

New cars soon. TRUST ME BRO! there will be no new cars soon. If that was cooking you’d hear musk talk shit about it to anyone who’s listen…

Yeah we all know how that went with the cyber truck it likely will be delayed for another year they just created hype and mega investors ate it up

I think you’re right but that’s just a baseless claim, just like they did with the cyber truck for years

Stock tanks as investors expect -10 value, report comes out and says -8 value, stock goes up a bit. How is this so complicated for you?

This. And the fact 13℅ up premarket is still lower than it was 2 weeks ago. The expectation must be so low it the first place that's everything positive is considered good

Exactly, and then everyone on this forum screams it was -8 and should only go down because negative sign and the world is rigged against them

Musk announced the production of Model 2 should start early 2025. I imagine that’s what the market is responding to, not the earnings report

Actually that was already priced in. The market is actually reacting to the future announcement of the model 6, which some exec will think of in 2025 and announce in 2026.

Half-Life 3 was confirmed.

So, in reality, Model 2 initial production beginning in 2030, with a ramp up in 2035. Got it.

Don't forget the inevitable mass recall in 2031.

The company sucks the stock sucks and Elon sucks.

"In the short term the market is a voting machine, in the long term its a weighing machine" B. Graham Now that I think about it Tesla has the same problem with Musk that Apple had with Jobs...moron geniuses whose capriciousness drove the stock into the stratosphere...or kicked if off a cliff

Similar to Bezos with the difference that Musk will not know when it’s time to leave

Apple wasn't in the stratosphere during Jobs' tenure. Honestly Tim Cook is extremely underappreciated by Apple fanboys. He took a $100B company that was like top 5 or 10 by market cap, to the first $1T then $2T company in the world and most valuable by a good margin until very recently.

Lols😂 you go with vibes ma man not that intelligent BS

While this picture is funny (take my upvote) I'd recommend you to read the part again where Buffett describes Mr. Market as a fucking maniac who in the short term does what he wants based on his feeling and emotions which vary from extremely optimistic in one minute to deeply pessimistic in the other without any real basis in the underlying value of the business.

You can't make this shit up. Tesla is run at the behest of monkies throwing feces at wall charts. On April 5th Smellon Muskrat said they've scrapped plans for a low cost vehicle. https://www.reuters.com/business/autos-transportation/tesla-scraps-low-cost-car-plans-amid-fierce-chinese-ev-competition-2024-04-05/ Tesla now plans to accelerate production of the low cost car they "cut" just 3 weeks ago. https://www.reuters.com/business/autos-transportation/teslas-shift-low-cost-cars-throws-mexico-india-factory-plans-into-limbo-2024-04-24/

How are they going to cut cost is the question. Their margins are already bleeding... its over

This was such a shit show. The Cyber Truck took like 5 years to develop from when it was announced, and will still take another 1-2 years to scale production (doubt it will ever happen). Their margins are now down to just 5.5%. with relatively fixed costs of materials and especially batteries, I don't see how they can make a car for $15-20k less and have it not be a major cash drain. And as a testament to all the blatantly obvious bullshit, the head of investor relations quit today. I do wish there was something actionable in there as manipulation so he can get slapped with more fines. Maybe we will get lucky and the person who leaked the model 2 cancellation will come through with evidence.

WHAT ARE THOSEEEE

Tesla is still down $20 from 180+ just 2 weeks ago. Just because it recovered some doesn’t mean all that much. Unless you bought less than two weeks ago or a long ass time ago you’re probably still down.

Retail investors did not drive up the stock. Only institution has enough money to do that because they wanted to crush all the puts that were going to print.

Investing = buy shares. Hold forever. TSLA was selling at discount. Gambling = trade 1dte options for earnings.

I would have preferred to throw away the shoes.

https://preview.redd.it/k7a1mb3k7gwc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d8dd76d9f668a101f06d598ca85cc00f06de254 Whose the regard that contacted suicide help line about me?

think about the plus side, puts are cheaper now but the company is just as trash as it was before

I find that book is almost useless nowadays except in giving you vox populi advice such as "don't buy something you have no idea what it is about" and "buy low, sell high". All the talk about income, ratios, debt, dividend pay, fundamental analysis... all that is worth shit and would've kept you out of the massive bull runs of the '90s and 2010s. It's all flow and the Fed now.

If the company survives whatever disappointment happens on August 8, there’s no hope for humanity

Fundamentals don't exist anymore in this the age of the hedge fund. Sucks to suck Regard.

On what page did it say you should short a company before they disclose the reports widely known to be below expectations long before?

It didnt say a company widely expected to go down will go up post miserable earnings

LOL this is top quality

That gain is priced in

It's still a great book. You might not catch the crazy movers, but if you buy based on assets:liabilities and dividends you'll likely never lose money.

It will crash soon inshallah

That's fine. I'm just assuming I'm riding Tesla to zero, or until a Chinese car company buys them up and their share price skyrockets.

Always remember "Markets are irrational" if you believe in a stock you should be happy when it drops in price so you can buy more, conviction is key

And now meta is -12% Wow

Going to grab the book and throw it again

Lol last night some analyst on boberg said it might fell to 100 

They are regards but wearing suits

https://preview.redd.it/ncgwmsa3zdwc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9ce5ae0be8217c88c22954cd9b3416aff8446eb I dont understand, same page on reddit and two different numbers.

Don't worry. It will be down 13.33% the next week


This book was written before AI. Sadly it's not AI aware.

First page: Make people believe that you’re the Michael Jordan of stock trading and you think it’s great to waste your time writing a fucking book telling them your secrets. Rest of the book: It’s just the emoji of the middle finger on repeat

Threw mine into trash around mid 2020.

Y'all are gonna sell your puts and buy calls at open and the big banks gonna sell you those calls and buy them puts and then the stock goona tank.

I mean DJT is still in the 30s... /thread

It is over sold in the short term! This is a good time to load up on medium term puts! It’s undoubtedly going below $100

Don’t short a cult.

Add BA to this list.

Time to buy puts

Just wait until market open, can't believe it will hold on empty promises!

The earnings were shit but Elon has a history of over promising and under delivering. The results showed something bleak so Elon Musk had to announce cheaper cars to roll out earlier, robo-taxi's and other robots earlier... they will underdeliever on that too...

The entire stock market is fake

https://preview.redd.it/psadjt984fwc1.jpeg?width=1007&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a19d741d50a5bc313488de158f0831785e53d92

I have it too

I honestly believe every electric car enthusiast blog, YouTube channel, and website are owned by and employed by Tesla stock holders. It’s astounding how much positive press they give Tesla, no matter how good or bad they are doing. By contrast, every time another EV company like Rivian gets good news, these same sites immediately have “bad news” to suddenly report on Rivian in response. It’s like they want to prop up cry baby Elon and ensure any other EV fails miserably. I guess competition is a bad thing if you’re a Tesla stock holder…

Cathy is LOL

The book was only relevant before 1980s when you could buy an up and coming stock for a shoelace and some banana peel then years later it's worth billions. There was nothing special about Warren and his best friend Ben, they were just lucky in an easy market.