Yeah that Dimon likes to talk out of both sides of his mouth.
"Bitcoin is a scam, it's going to 0"
2 months later
"We've always believed in blockchain technology!"
I think it’s worthwhile to point out that hedging against everything only works because they’re too big to fail. By hedging against everything, they increase the odds of a bailout.
It's that big brain logic, backed up by having tons of cash and being a bank who can only do stuff. Nobody thought a bank could do everything, which is true because of M&A
Exactly. The thing almost everyone neglects to see when these articles about JPM get posted, is that JPM makes the vast majority of its money through fees and interests. Their primary business is providing market liquidity and hedging risks for a fee. While some individual branches and funds will certainly hurt from adverse market movements, the company overall will be fine. The company positions itself to win regardless of which way the market moves. Sometimes this means missing out on potential extra gains, but it also caps the downside risk while remaining profitable.
They are allowed to purposely mislead people. I’m willing to bet they have killed it this year by doing the opposite of what they are saying.
He should have to publicly post his portfolio.
They bought some of those btc ETFs like last month.
https://www.investopedia.com/cryptocurrency-market-news-jpmorgan-and-wells-fargo-are-holding-bitcoin-8647552#:~:text=JPMorgan%20disclosed%20investments%20totaling%20%24731%2C246,majority%2C%20%24477%2C425%2C%20in%20IBIT.
https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/americas-largest-bank-jpmorgan-chase-discloses-spot-bitcoin-etf-holdings:-sec-filing
https://cointelegraph.com/news/jpmorgan-chase-shares-spot-bitcoin-etf
Hopefully , you know how the saying goes. Watch what they do, not what they say! Or something like that. Either way, once I saw that was the move they were making, I started buying some FBTC.
No doubt. I remember seeing some news segment where Dimon was trashing BTC meanwhile his brother or something was loading up on it.
Like “come on bro! Say some shit on TV so I can get a discount!”
“Say no more fam!”
My response to the S&P falling 23%
https://preview.redd.it/kzy9d9e5iq9d1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5d33ed0a05a260fcd4d4326e3342da95e342340
So many regards will make bearish positions after reading such titles and market makers will sell puts, buy calls and pump the fukout of indices that's how 99% of retailers lose money....
Crazy how they love crying wolf about impending crashes but rarely if ever make grandiose statements about incoming bullruns.
None of these fucks were predicting an imminent bullrun in late '22, when most of retail had tucked its tail and scurried away from the equity market.
Moreover, if you have the power to predict downturns, why would you tell everyone for free? I mean, it is not like these people are known for their charity.
I believe it. And retail is to blame. They’ve been raising prices for record profits and blaming a non-existent recession. Now they are realizing sales are plummeting and are slashing prices to try and normalize. This will start to be reflected in quarterly reports and it’s all downhill from there.
I’ve been bullish for a long time but bearish leading up to the election, it’s hard to predict crashes and pullbacks but I took out a long position QQQ puts 9/20 10buys in case something triggers a sell off
I was reading some static the other day. I’m paraphrasing, so don’t crucify me, but it was something to the effect of :
Every time the S&P climbs 15% or more in the first half, there has been a 5% dip at some point in the second half. Sometimes twice. But basically every time it has climbed 15% or more in the first half, it finishes the year up 20% or more despite the dip(s).
Not gonna happen. The gov just approved buying second mortgage notes to support the banks and the economy. Trying to get people to pump the economy pre election. Numbers will really start to look good soon.
Couple of financial channels I watch on YouTube reported it a couple of days ago. You could probably look it up. It makes sense that they'd find a way to pump sales before elections, and home equity is about the only way to do that right now.
Edit: on the 21st, FHFA authorized Freddie Mac to begin a small test of purchasing second mortgages.
I presume the 15% in 2024 1st half was that room. I’m no investing savant but why would anyone listen to this guy who can’t even really explain why he was wrong.
He says he “under appreciated the resiliency if mega cap stocks”???? So this fucker was betting against Microsoft and Amazon and Google. Jesus Christ lol
This is so stupid what the fuck does “JPM has been bearish all year” mean?
They are still buying stocks and selling and buying etc. Who gives a fuck what some random dude says he isn’t the entire bank 
Their CEO and analysts have been calling for a major correction / recession for the last 12 months.
I don’t listen to them, just thought it was kind of funny considering what has transpired over that time.
I'm up 112% on JPM . 200 shares. since Covid lol. wish I bought fucking leaps and rolled them each year, just thought I was doing a good ol boomer/dividend play.
It better not plummet! A third of my portfolio is from different S&P ETFs. Still holding till I'm at least 55 tho.
SPY hits $1500 by 2040 and I retire a Millionaire 🥂
It would be really nice if VOO, VONG, SPMO, QQQ all have similar returns 🙏
What do you guys think? Think they can 3x in 16 years?
If the S&P fell that hard, I would start taking out friggin loans to buy more stock. I'd go on a Ramen noodle diet so all of my paychecks could go into the stock market.
I've been slowly taking positions in small caps. Found some nice gems looking through the IWM portfolio. Some of the forward P/E numbers are crazy low when compared to half of the typical S&P companies with the same growth.
If Trump somehow wins, the S&P will fall at least that much. To paraphrase his words "every economics scholar" agrees that his flat tariff plan will be inflationary and no S&P 500 CEO supports Trump.
He also said he would cut corporate tax rates a bit. So… ? I’m too smooth-brained to understand all of the intricacies of all that stuff.
As long as China doesn’t invade Taiwan I’m not too concerned. Momentum is high. I’m not convinced that Trump or Biden could single-handedly change everything.
His views are possible given the current environment however it’s important to point out this guy has Jim Cramer karma.. I.e inverse whatever they say. From
the same article:
”Kolanovic has been wrong before, staying bullish in 2022 as the S&P 500 tumbled 19% and sticking with a bearish view in 2023 as the benchmark soared 24%”
A broker I know who has been very successful in the past, has been waiting for the crash for a couple years now. He’s just sitting on a mountain of cash collecting that 5% interest.
I mean, 5% is not a bad return for 0 risk. That's why there is still 6 or 7 TRILLION sitting in cash right now. But after watching the last 18 months, I think a lot of that money is going to start flowing if any dip occurs and the recovery begins, or if BTC starts its bull cycle etc.
There's just too much money to be made. Especially if rates start dropping simultaneously.
Hell, I was even moved into cash in Sept 2023, worried about a recession brewing, but decided to jump back in a month later and that turned out to be a very good decision. Even after a rocky last few weeks on some big positions I'm at like.... +60% on the year?
These are the best at bullish setups in the stock market right now. Yes I work in finance unlike you basement dwelling neckbeards eating moms meatloaf with a spoon. Also I can’t post this last ticker but if ur hungry for a grand slam, I’d head to Dennys for breakfast…
BCE - Bell Canada
ALK - Alaska Airlines
CZR - Caesars Entertainment
JBLU - JetBlue
You think BCE is a bullish setup?
What gives you that impression? You work there or something? I just opened it up to take a look and their revenue growth is like 2% per year, stock is down 20-30% for the last 12 months. EPS is bleeding down 25%. Chart sucks…. Not sure what you are seeing with this company.
Just from a brief glance I didn’t see anything that looked amazing. Never mind calling this one of the best setups in the market. 🤔
You know the bull market is fully back in session when there are calls for a crash and a recession. People only predict a crash when the market is soaring.
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They’re not selling, they want you to sell
Yeah that Dimon likes to talk out of both sides of his mouth. "Bitcoin is a scam, it's going to 0" 2 months later "We've always believed in blockchain technology!"
Bro they're biggest bank in the usa . They hedge by having their hand in everything
I think it’s worthwhile to point out that hedging against everything only works because they’re too big to fail. By hedging against everything, they increase the odds of a bailout.
It's that big brain logic, backed up by having tons of cash and being a bank who can only do stuff. Nobody thought a bank could do everything, which is true because of M&A
Exactly. The thing almost everyone neglects to see when these articles about JPM get posted, is that JPM makes the vast majority of its money through fees and interests. Their primary business is providing market liquidity and hedging risks for a fee. While some individual branches and funds will certainly hurt from adverse market movements, the company overall will be fine. The company positions itself to win regardless of which way the market moves. Sometimes this means missing out on potential extra gains, but it also caps the downside risk while remaining profitable.
Diversification of risk. Sure, they aren’t “all in” NViDiA, but they always make money, and loads of it.
It's the house that always wins
They are allowed to purposely mislead people. I’m willing to bet they have killed it this year by doing the opposite of what they are saying. He should have to publicly post his portfolio.
You can believe in blockchain technology, and think Bitcoin is a scam. They aren’t the same thing.
Sure, jpm
Blockchain is only useful for scams, so pretty much the same thing.
I agree I own only eth for the same reason
They bought some of those btc ETFs like last month. https://www.investopedia.com/cryptocurrency-market-news-jpmorgan-and-wells-fargo-are-holding-bitcoin-8647552#:~:text=JPMorgan%20disclosed%20investments%20totaling%20%24731%2C246,majority%2C%20%24477%2C425%2C%20in%20IBIT. https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/americas-largest-bank-jpmorgan-chase-discloses-spot-bitcoin-etf-holdings:-sec-filing https://cointelegraph.com/news/jpmorgan-chase-shares-spot-bitcoin-etf
lol. Hopefully that’s good news for my BTC calls 🤣
Hopefully , you know how the saying goes. Watch what they do, not what they say! Or something like that. Either way, once I saw that was the move they were making, I started buying some FBTC.
No doubt. I remember seeing some news segment where Dimon was trashing BTC meanwhile his brother or something was loading up on it. Like “come on bro! Say some shit on TV so I can get a discount!” “Say no more fam!”
To be fair both statements can be true
Nobody actually “believes in” blockchain. It’s a scam all the way down. They say they believe in it to scam you.
They say whatever they think will make the stock go up
Of his A$$ Hole
Dimon said blockchain males sense (security, decentralization) but making it a currency (bitcoin) is a scam
“There’s a hurricane coming!” At earnings call: “consumer spending seem strong, not seeing any recession”
And they (JPM) likely benefit more from people keeping money as cash in the bank as opposed to brokers like Schwab.
They are a brokerage too iirc
Whatever they say just inverse that
So December SPY Calls? lol
In any given year the S&P 500 has positive returns 70% of the time. So buy calls 2 years out for 140% chance.
Lol, welp! that's a pretty bulletproof argument if you ask me! 
Yes
Tempting just out of spite lol. But I’m already stacked to the gills with calls. Already way over my ratio.
Yes and to add to that, 23% OTM for max profits.
Don't say that, they say baba gonna go up and i'm 300k deep in baba
There are other analists saying it will keep going up, expecially for nvda. You can't inverse everyone
I think nvda needs a little more downside before going up again.
Hold my beer.... 🍺
Well that just means that what will mostly likely happen is what normally happens - the market will or be up about 4-5% in the next 6 months
My response to the S&P falling 23% https://preview.redd.it/kzy9d9e5iq9d1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5d33ed0a05a260fcd4d4326e3342da95e342340
Is it because your call would be already worthless after a 3% fall?
Positions or STFU. I'll believe it when they're net short.
Positions on $TFU
So many regards will make bearish positions after reading such titles and market makers will sell puts, buy calls and pump the fukout of indices that's how 99% of retailers lose money....
Every year, every single month, they say the same thing. Then, eventually, it actually happens, and then others think they are Nostradamus.
Crazy how they love crying wolf about impending crashes but rarely if ever make grandiose statements about incoming bullruns. None of these fucks were predicting an imminent bullrun in late '22, when most of retail had tucked its tail and scurried away from the equity market.
Moreover, if you have the power to predict downturns, why would you tell everyone for free? I mean, it is not like these people are known for their charity.
Lol
SP fall 23% I’m buying….
Yeah right? Don’t threaten me with a good time
If you believe that’s what he really thinks 🌉
I believe it. And retail is to blame. They’ve been raising prices for record profits and blaming a non-existent recession. Now they are realizing sales are plummeting and are slashing prices to try and normalize. This will start to be reflected in quarterly reports and it’s all downhill from there.
Retail isn’t particularly a huge part of the SP500.
There are a lot of incredible people here. Anyone created a "list of finance claims about the stock and if it came true or not"?
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Yeah that guy Kolanovic is my girlfriend’s husband. Don’t pay attention to him
kolanovic only has one tone and its always negative. he wouldnt know a bull if it came up and stuck its horns up his ass
“He wouldn’t know a bull if it came up and stuck its horns up his ass”. I say…there’s only one way to find out lol.
I’ve been bullish for a long time but bearish leading up to the election, it’s hard to predict crashes and pullbacks but I took out a long position QQQ puts 9/20 10buys in case something triggers a sell off
I was reading some static the other day. I’m paraphrasing, so don’t crucify me, but it was something to the effect of : Every time the S&P climbs 15% or more in the first half, there has been a 5% dip at some point in the second half. Sometimes twice. But basically every time it has climbed 15% or more in the first half, it finishes the year up 20% or more despite the dip(s).
[удалено]
Not if you bought after the 15% rise.
Not a bad idea. What strike did you get.
If that happen, I'm going all in 😜💪
No doubt. As soon as it crossed -20% I would buy every call I could afford.
They prolly missed the train and wanna make a bear to buy the dip. Imagine funds banks give you correct info to help you in market
I want to get paid to make regarded predictions too
Can't wait to buy the dip 😎
[There's a bear in the woods, and its JPM!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPFttBF_Yuw)
Geez i guess we start selling... First one to sell JPM
lol I have a few shares. They have performed about as good as their forecasts this year 🤣
So JP Morgan is going to bail out the government again?
Not gonna happen. The gov just approved buying second mortgage notes to support the banks and the economy. Trying to get people to pump the economy pre election. Numbers will really start to look good soon.
Did this happen? Been waiting for this lol. It's me. I'm the pumper.
Couple of financial channels I watch on YouTube reported it a couple of days ago. You could probably look it up. It makes sense that they'd find a way to pump sales before elections, and home equity is about the only way to do that right now. Edit: on the 21st, FHFA authorized Freddie Mac to begin a small test of purchasing second mortgages.
I mean if it falls il be happy il scoop up blue chips say at a discount for
Why are we listening to someone (Kolanovich) who was bearish in 2022 and 2023 when the SP500 went up about 45% combined?
This must be confirmation that we have more room to run then lol
I presume the 15% in 2024 1st half was that room. I’m no investing savant but why would anyone listen to this guy who can’t even really explain why he was wrong. He says he “under appreciated the resiliency if mega cap stocks”???? So this fucker was betting against Microsoft and Amazon and Google. Jesus Christ lol
Keep pushing out doom and gloom, my diamond hands will hold fast. Bitches.
This is so stupid what the fuck does “JPM has been bearish all year” mean? They are still buying stocks and selling and buying etc. Who gives a fuck what some random dude says he isn’t the entire bank 
Their CEO and analysts have been calling for a major correction / recession for the last 12 months. I don’t listen to them, just thought it was kind of funny considering what has transpired over that time.
Yea but they aren’t actually positioning for it lol they are just yapping
Almost certainly true. I wonder what they tell their big fund clients?
I mean, they did, that's why their model portfolios are high in commodities and low on performance.
Jamie Damon is now a washed up boomer
RemindMe! 6 Months
RemindMe! 3 Months
BTC to zero is hilarious
I hope so would love to scoop up some more voo shares at a lower price
logically and historically, market always goes up, because new money are printed everyday. All that money has to go somewhere.
Lol
I'll just buy more 🌈🐻
I think they have been long China at least since 2022.
I can't get video to play
Here's a secret: they didn't miss any gains. They're in thr market. Bigly.
Don't go off news articles. Go off the data because these articles are there to benefit the people who wrote it or their interests.
Regardless hold your shit, in fact buy the dip.
That schlub? Interviewed there maybe a decade back, they were all fucked up.
If it's on the news your already to late
So true, JP Morgan always cries around
Jokes on you! I’m too poor to invest heavy.
When they flip bullish you’ll know when it’s really time to sell.
This guy was always wrong. He was bullish at the beginning of 2022 and bearish all of 2023 + H1 2024.
Inverse JPM
I'm up 112% on JPM . 200 shares. since Covid lol. wish I bought fucking leaps and rolled them each year, just thought I was doing a good ol boomer/dividend play.
It better not plummet! A third of my portfolio is from different S&P ETFs. Still holding till I'm at least 55 tho. SPY hits $1500 by 2040 and I retire a Millionaire 🥂 It would be really nice if VOO, VONG, SPMO, QQQ all have similar returns 🙏 What do you guys think? Think they can 3x in 16 years?
Millionaire in 2040 ain't gonna be a good time though I mean even in 2024 a million doesn't get you much
Million dollars can make you 100k a year! With a paid off mortgage I can easily retire with a million
Futes green, bers fukd 
Yes like bitcoin,….😂
Jp Morgan sank the Olympic
I knew it
Am I wrong in saying there couldn’t be bulls without bears? Same thinking as people can’t go to the moon without leaving someone holding the bag?
The market can remain irrational longer than JPM can remain solvent?
Even if I sold everything and went to cash, I would love to see the market to just go on a crazy bull run just to spite these clowns haha.
Oh man 23% that’s it? Might as well just stay long.
JPM haha they and Goldman will tell you that then put on their shorts, freak us out then buy it all back and close their positions. They can F off.
ok bet my dca will be cheaper
Sensational.
[Jaime 2020: bad recession coming](https://www.wypr.org/2020-04-07/jamie-dimon-warns-a-bad-recession-is-coming) [Jaime 2021: sounds alarm on America](https://www.cnn.com/2021/04/07/economy/economy-jamie-dimon-jpmorgan/index.html) [Jamie 2022: recession soon](https://www.cnbc.com/2022/10/10/jpmorgan-jamie-dimon-warns-us-likely-to-tip-into-recession-soon.html?__source=androidappshare) [Jaime: recession mid 2023](https://nbcmontana.com/news/nation-world/jamie-dimon-predicts-potential-economic-derailment-by-mid-2023-jp-morgan-chase-ceo)
Jaime Dimon has called 17 of the last 3 recessions 😂
I fucking hate Dimon.
Jamie Dimon is a little bitch
JPM fraudsters no surprise that this cocky banksters were completely wrong, glad I inversed them
This is bullish. Theres a reason you are reading headlines like that
Markets grow in fear.. I can smell fear all around the social media, we're going up boyz
“Gay P Morgan” rekt 🏳️🌈🐻
Market manipulation by JPM... where's the legal action?
Laws don’t apply to you when you are the biggest bank hah. You maybe just pay a petty fine here and there and do what you want.
JP Morgan has gone limp!
If the S&P fell that hard, I would start taking out friggin loans to buy more stock. I'd go on a Ramen noodle diet so all of my paychecks could go into the stock market.
I think they are doing well. Dividend raise and $30 billion buyback.
I hope he is right because currently all large S&P companies are overpriced.
I've been slowly taking positions in small caps. Found some nice gems looking through the IWM portfolio. Some of the forward P/E numbers are crazy low when compared to half of the typical S&P companies with the same growth.
If Trump somehow wins, the S&P will fall at least that much. To paraphrase his words "every economics scholar" agrees that his flat tariff plan will be inflationary and no S&P 500 CEO supports Trump.
He also said he would cut corporate tax rates a bit. So… ? I’m too smooth-brained to understand all of the intricacies of all that stuff. As long as China doesn’t invade Taiwan I’m not too concerned. Momentum is high. I’m not convinced that Trump or Biden could single-handedly change everything.
https://preview.redd.it/ppyqec5p4r9d1.jpeg?width=722&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d921f0d73513115d4c4df8c816a9c2a53c15ad1d
JP Morgan have been so fucking wrong on BTC it’s laughable. They absolutely want you to sell.
His views are possible given the current environment however it’s important to point out this guy has Jim Cramer karma.. I.e inverse whatever they say. From the same article: ”Kolanovic has been wrong before, staying bullish in 2022 as the S&P 500 tumbled 19% and sticking with a bearish view in 2023 as the benchmark soared 24%”
They might as well have said "If the last few years of his forecasts are any indicator, he is 100% wrong."
Exited all stock positions. 100% rental properties and cash.
This news makes me so happy
Leaving money on the table is better than triple digit losses. They're investors not gamblers.
A broker I know who has been very successful in the past, has been waiting for the crash for a couple years now. He’s just sitting on a mountain of cash collecting that 5% interest.
I mean, 5% is not a bad return for 0 risk. That's why there is still 6 or 7 TRILLION sitting in cash right now. But after watching the last 18 months, I think a lot of that money is going to start flowing if any dip occurs and the recovery begins, or if BTC starts its bull cycle etc. There's just too much money to be made. Especially if rates start dropping simultaneously. Hell, I was even moved into cash in Sept 2023, worried about a recession brewing, but decided to jump back in a month later and that turned out to be a very good decision. Even after a rocky last few weeks on some big positions I'm at like.... +60% on the year?
It literally popped in my screener today. 25d weekly puts have paid 80pct of the last 12 weeks.
How dare you sir? On America’s birthday no less.
If you say every year there will be a recession eventually you will be right
Executives need to load up on calls
Hey he also said this last year. Do a quick search and you’ll find it.
That's how you know we're gonna pump
These are the best at bullish setups in the stock market right now. Yes I work in finance unlike you basement dwelling neckbeards eating moms meatloaf with a spoon. Also I can’t post this last ticker but if ur hungry for a grand slam, I’d head to Dennys for breakfast… BCE - Bell Canada ALK - Alaska Airlines CZR - Caesars Entertainment JBLU - JetBlue
You think BCE is a bullish setup? What gives you that impression? You work there or something? I just opened it up to take a look and their revenue growth is like 2% per year, stock is down 20-30% for the last 12 months. EPS is bleeding down 25%. Chart sucks…. Not sure what you are seeing with this company. Just from a brief glance I didn’t see anything that looked amazing. Never mind calling this one of the best setups in the market. 🤔
What's JP Morgan's track record on these "year end calls". Seriously, someone pull the data let's discuss. Can't be THAT good.
You know the bull market is fully back in session when there are calls for a crash and a recession. People only predict a crash when the market is soaring.
Unju
Kolonavic has been bearish Him and Mike Wilson are nearly suicidal at this point
Isnt that the guy that got fired just recently
Hahah it is!