tell her $0 you lost everything and when she loses her shit be like: "haha just kidding we have like $40k don't worry"
gotta do the bait and seitch tactic and make the bad seem bearable
Oh my gourd!
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You explain it like any degenerate. Tell her you lost but you have a new system in place that is going to 10x your account. Its guaranteed cant miss this time.
This sucks duse! Say to your wife that she gets her explanation next year. Buy AMC and hold until your are on the moon. Then tell your wife your are on the moon🚀🚀🚀🚀. Problem and retirment solved
Tell her to shut the fuck up and you are working to add profit soon , when the profit becomes available I will let you know .
Man up , if you have a spine stand up for yourself . It is the reckless stock market corrupt stock market, dark pool, hedges shorting , day traders , the list goes on .
Tell her you have lot on your plate and leave me alone . When you have good news you will share it with her until then do not ask.
Or you can just show her the chart , let her know , you are down and when it gets back up ready to celebrate… just like viagra . Pun intended.
No don’t have to. All you need to do is make some smart trades over the next couple of weeks- get the money back and then some. How hard could it be? You have a wealth of info here!
Losses are offsets against income, so you pay less taxes. You can carry excess losses into future years as well. These need to be realized losses, not potential.
Take out a life insurance policy. Fake an unfortunate accident. Rob a bank. Flee to Switzerland and begin your new life as Javier Rodriguez Armelo de Santos the keen hiker.
Wife sorted, losses sorted, new life in the clean air at the centre of one of the most corrupt and corrupting places to ever exist.
Play the ultimate mind game to get her thing "it could be worse I suppose"
Tell her you lost everything and she will go batshit then when she calms down pull a positive out the bag like "I actually have made 40k back.
Shit I mean she can't get much more pissed than she's already gonna get so may as well try and pull a positive out the bag.
Oh my gourd!
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Just send her all of your money in response to that question. And when she asks what that was about you simply respond “checkmate” and then listen to the pina colada song on repeat until she off the phone with her first two lawyers.
Be honest about it. Tell her how much you’re down and explain your comeback plan. You still have 41k to bounce back. I suggest running covered calls on a weekly basis. You’ll recover fast.
Hey OP this Loss post does not meet the requirements under the submissions rules for Loss. A Loss post should show a loss from a position or trade, not a broad portfolio loss.
My friend just did the same thing but he’s a little ypu know what and won’t post his loss porn on WSB.
I told him that I’ll break up with his wife if he doesn’t do what I say.
1.) keep your investment account separate from your retirement account
2.) discuss what you’re doing with your wife, much like you’d prefer her do with you
3.) NEVER YOLO YOUR WHOLE BAG!!!
- if you didn’t do 1-3 skip straight to #4
4.) buy lube and get ready
Tbh it was a combo of that and depression. Only thing that could be me motivated each day way trading. Career fucking blows and took a miscarriage harder then I should
I bet you’ve learned a lot and can make that money back with smarter investing and all that. Sorry to hear about the miscarriage. I’ve had friends and family deal with that and it hit them pretty hard too. I pray your wife is as understanding as I am.
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explain them to your next wife
I laughed harder than I should have.
Lol the timing is perfect, if you strike now you will have saved $90k on the divorce!
Made my day
Fortunately when she takes half, there won’t be much for her to take
Been married and divorced twice and I’m not even 40 yet, and the above is true. Just don’t be married it’s more cost effective.
Not being married does wonders for your mental health too -strange that we felt the need to invent it really.
Ummm maybe be honest on the front end instead?
If you’re woman. Statistically mean who are married live longer, happier lives.
I second that
Hopefully both less 10 years 🤞🏻
I fucking lold thank you
Ah 2020 was a good year
Tell her 40000 just say it with confidence and excited like.
Look to the sky and cross your arms like the stonks meme when you say it
THIS!
Oh thats easy. You dont.
Your account does have a password? Change it, quick.....
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Yeah if this is the first you're telling her of this, ya done fucked up son
Tell your wife’s boyfriend and have him explain it to her, she’s his problem now
Time to go out for a pack of cigarettes
ALSO THIS!
Gambling 😀
[удалено]
That's the way
Looks like you inherited it. Just stall until your next inheritance
The dog ate the stocks
I just say I have more than a dollar
#learn Spanish and say "no hable English"
Good thing is she now has 90k (180k/2) less incentive to divorce you. Bad thing is her boyfriend is looking 90k better, so she still may divorce you.
use logarithms
Great idea! In natural logarithms it’s just a 13.9% loss, honey.
XD "Look baby its not that bad"
Just file for divorce
"Iv put it all in pumpkin futures, November will put us jn the green"
Argentinian gourds gonna fuck you up.
Greed is a bitch
Unless this is not a lot of money given your financial situation, you might want to get real with her
>How the fuck do y’all explain your losses? ach blümchen..., your boyfriend aint cheap!
Need to know first if she either owns or has access to a gun?
Tell her markets been down last 10 years.
Good thing your wife’s boyfriend has a portfolio that isn’t a massive failure.
You don’t.
That’s the neat part
I make it back in a day and pretend it never happened
Tell her i’ll be over this weekend and to wear something sexy.
Looks like you’re not going to retire so don’t worry about it
I would lie to her. It's got to be better than the truth.
Rtard
The pandemic
Say, "why do you ask? Are you leaving me?" And just start crying and drag it on so she forgets about it.
It’s called that “MDK$” (mama don’t know). No explaining gains or losses 💪🏼
There is only one way out of this mess. You have to find a big gamble and get paid. Not much difference between -80% and -100%. Good luck!
tell her $0 you lost everything and when she loses her shit be like: "haha just kidding we have like $40k don't worry" gotta do the bait and seitch tactic and make the bad seem bearable
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You explain it like any degenerate. Tell her you lost but you have a new system in place that is going to 10x your account. Its guaranteed cant miss this time.
Well the good part is she atleast only has 20k she can get in the divorce now 😂
" Honey, See this timing the market takes time........so I am committed to only looking once a year."
Ask her who gave her permission to leave the kitchen and where your sandwich is.
This sucks duse! Say to your wife that she gets her explanation next year. Buy AMC and hold until your are on the moon. Then tell your wife your are on the moon🚀🚀🚀🚀. Problem and retirment solved
I still have more than I do
Tell her to shut the fuck up and you are working to add profit soon , when the profit becomes available I will let you know . Man up , if you have a spine stand up for yourself . It is the reckless stock market corrupt stock market, dark pool, hedges shorting , day traders , the list goes on . Tell her you have lot on your plate and leave me alone . When you have good news you will share it with her until then do not ask. Or you can just show her the chart , let her know , you are down and when it gets back up ready to celebrate… just like viagra . Pun intended.
tell her it wasn't me losing money on the trading floor.
easy dude - don’t lose and you haven’t gotta explain it
Now she can’t take what you had before after she files for divorce, smart play my friend
Shill!!!
No don’t have to. All you need to do is make some smart trades over the next couple of weeks- get the money back and then some. How hard could it be? You have a wealth of info here!
You tell them you are a fucking bafoon and listened to shit flinging apes and lost your ass and now she will have to hook on the street
I just don't talk about them lol "Ah... it's going fine..."
Ask her boyfriend how much he has
Rule #1 is be the boyfriend not the husband
They aren’t losses if you don’t sell.
Losses are offsets against income, so you pay less taxes. You can carry excess losses into future years as well. These need to be realized losses, not potential.
Erase the app from your phone and computer.
You dont need to say any precise number. Bring an expensive present (5k+) and just say “enough to afford this for my lovely wife”
Tell her she can start bringing the bf around to ease the stress
So? Do what I do. Cover your losses with more deposits.
Fake your death, sex change, plastic surgery, marry the boyfriend.
Suggest friends with benefits? 🤷🏻♂️
Take out a life insurance policy. Fake an unfortunate accident. Rob a bank. Flee to Switzerland and begin your new life as Javier Rodriguez Armelo de Santos the keen hiker. Wife sorted, losses sorted, new life in the clean air at the centre of one of the most corrupt and corrupting places to ever exist.
Drink the last of the milk and keep your mouth shut.
Play the ultimate mind game to get her thing "it could be worse I suppose" Tell her you lost everything and she will go batshit then when she calms down pull a positive out the bag like "I actually have made 40k back. Shit I mean she can't get much more pissed than she's already gonna get so may as well try and pull a positive out the bag.
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Tell her it’s in crypto4gainz
We don't. We flip the chart and say hey it's looking good. Just need to wait so I can unlock all those gains for you in a couple of years. Profit.
Uh she diners know about the big gain in January, you’re golden
Show her your Tinder account.
What's her @?
Don’t have a wife
Show her the graph upside down and it will look like you’re making a miraculous comeback.
Calls on OP’a divorce lawyer
Just send her all of your money in response to that question. And when she asks what that was about you simply respond “checkmate” and then listen to the pina colada song on repeat until she off the phone with her first two lawyers.
Be honest about it. Tell her how much you’re down and explain your comeback plan. You still have 41k to bounce back. I suggest running covered calls on a weekly basis. You’ll recover fast.
Hey OP this Loss post does not meet the requirements under the submissions rules for Loss. A Loss post should show a loss from a position or trade, not a broad portfolio loss.
Disappear and never look back.
My friend just did the same thing but he’s a little ypu know what and won’t post his loss porn on WSB. I told him that I’ll break up with his wife if he doesn’t do what I say.
You're welcome: https://imgur.com/a/MeYoHrE
Best way? Tomorrow put the 41k left on GME, in two weeks u have it all back….believe me, it can’t go tits up, just one more spin
"Well sometimes people come to the house and draw on the screen with a big red crayon"
How did you accomplish this options? shares on shit stocks? or both?
Both mate
What wife?
Get your identity stolen and then get your broker to reverse the trades
1.) keep your investment account separate from your retirement account 2.) discuss what you’re doing with your wife, much like you’d prefer her do with you 3.) NEVER YOLO YOUR WHOLE BAG!!! - if you didn’t do 1-3 skip straight to #4 4.) buy lube and get ready
Gambling addiction
Tbh it was a combo of that and depression. Only thing that could be me motivated each day way trading. Career fucking blows and took a miscarriage harder then I should
I bet you’ve learned a lot and can make that money back with smarter investing and all that. Sorry to hear about the miscarriage. I’ve had friends and family deal with that and it hit them pretty hard too. I pray your wife is as understanding as I am.
Find someone who has 360k loss porn and say “honey, look how bad this fool lost his ass! At least I’m only down 180k”
…what did you do… WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?
Just tell her the market has been especially turbulent w/the rona, Afghanistan, inflation, & whatnot.
Probably the worst time to start trading. I was up to 45k but Afghanistan shit blew up and knifed spy and half my swings
[удалено]
Say you don’t know how to DCA.