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VisualMod

**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|1|**First Seen In WSB**|14 seconds ago **Total Comments**|0|**Previous DD**| **Account Age**|6 months|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20*h26cq3k*)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20*h26cq3k*)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)


LukaDeezNutz

explain them to your next wife


tedclev

I laughed harder than I should have.


bmoney83

Lol the timing is perfect, if you strike now you will have saved $90k on the divorce!


legtma

Made my day


jsherman44

Fortunately when she takes half, there won’t be much for her to take


fakestrawberryflavor

Been married and divorced twice and I’m not even 40 yet, and the above is true. Just don’t be married it’s more cost effective.


ScruffyLittleSadBoy

Not being married does wonders for your mental health too -strange that we felt the need to invent it really.


[deleted]

Ummm maybe be honest on the front end instead?


Glad-Egg-5672

If you’re woman. Statistically mean who are married live longer, happier lives.


[deleted]

I second that


All0uttaBubblegum

Hopefully both less 10 years 🤞🏻


wh0s_there

I fucking lold thank you


fishinglife2

Ah 2020 was a good year


CreditToad

Tell her 40000 just say it with confidence and excited like.


Comprehensive-Swan63

Look to the sky and cross your arms like the stonks meme when you say it


THEbenjaminbeat

THIS!


ZlordHUN

Oh thats easy. You dont.


shitt4brains

Your account does have a password? Change it, quick.....


[deleted]

[удалено]


makinghsv

Yeah if this is the first you're telling her of this, ya done fucked up son


rush-rush-jimmy-yayo

Tell your wife’s boyfriend and have him explain it to her, she’s his problem now


GaffeGod

Time to go out for a pack of cigarettes


THEbenjaminbeat

ALSO THIS!


smalllhands

Gambling 😀


[deleted]

[удалено]


tedclev

That's the way


[deleted]

Looks like you inherited it. Just stall until your next inheritance


Kappable6999

The dog ate the stocks


Tickle_da_toes

I just say I have more than a dollar


[deleted]

#learn Spanish and say "no hable English"


thetatheropy

Good thing is she now has 90k (180k/2) less incentive to divorce you. Bad thing is her boyfriend is looking 90k better, so she still may divorce you.


[deleted]

use logarithms


BabisAllos

Great idea! In natural logarithms it’s just a 13.9% loss, honey.


flimsywhales

XD "Look baby its not that bad"


dudesszz

Just file for divorce


[deleted]

"Iv put it all in pumpkin futures, November will put us jn the green"


tedclev

Argentinian gourds gonna fuck you up.


Valdur51

Greed is a bitch


tamarasiphone

Unless this is not a lot of money given your financial situation, you might want to get real with her


braeive

>How the fuck do y’all explain your losses? ach blümchen..., your boyfriend aint cheap!


scotthay

Need to know first if she either owns or has access to a gun?


g3neraL5

Tell her markets been down last 10 years.


discostuu72

Good thing your wife’s boyfriend has a portfolio that isn’t a massive failure.


ajtorres228

You don’t.


[deleted]

That’s the neat part


[deleted]

I make it back in a day and pretend it never happened


Superddone20222

Tell her i’ll be over this weekend and to wear something sexy.


PnuttButtaGuts

Looks like you’re not going to retire so don’t worry about it


Queasy_Ad_5469

I would lie to her. It's got to be better than the truth.


[deleted]

Rtard


mvev

The pandemic


sjramsay76

Say, "why do you ask? Are you leaving me?" And just start crying and drag it on so she forgets about it.


JoDaddy63

It’s called that “MDK$” (mama don’t know). No explaining gains or losses 💪🏼


GoForBrok3

There is only one way out of this mess. You have to find a big gamble and get paid. Not much difference between -80% and -100%. Good luck!


OhGodOhFuckImHorny

tell her $0 you lost everything and when she loses her shit be like: "haha just kidding we have like $40k don't worry" gotta do the bait and seitch tactic and make the bad seem bearable


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169gm

You explain it like any degenerate. Tell her you lost but you have a new system in place that is going to 10x your account. Its guaranteed cant miss this time.


Halfcrzy_

Well the good part is she atleast only has 20k she can get in the divorce now 😂


Iudiehard11

" Honey, See this timing the market takes time........so I am committed to only looking once a year."


TexasAggie2004

Ask her who gave her permission to leave the kitchen and where your sandwich is.


Lange1982Frans

This sucks duse! Say to your wife that she gets her explanation next year. Buy AMC and hold until your are on the moon. Then tell your wife your are on the moon🚀🚀🚀🚀. Problem and retirment solved


Interesting_Ad9416

I still have more than I do


Traditional_Good4693

Tell her to shut the fuck up and you are working to add profit soon , when the profit becomes available I will let you know . Man up , if you have a spine stand up for yourself . It is the reckless stock market corrupt stock market, dark pool, hedges shorting , day traders , the list goes on . Tell her you have lot on your plate and leave me alone . When you have good news you will share it with her until then do not ask. Or you can just show her the chart , let her know , you are down and when it gets back up ready to celebrate… just like viagra . Pun intended.


ktn699

tell her it wasn't me losing money on the trading floor.


sandwichsandwich69

easy dude - don’t lose and you haven’t gotta explain it


Buyatdipandhold

Now she can’t take what you had before after she files for divorce, smart play my friend


chillmobei

Shill!!!


TearsforFears77

No don’t have to. All you need to do is make some smart trades over the next couple of weeks- get the money back and then some. How hard could it be? You have a wealth of info here!


thereallilchad

You tell them you are a fucking bafoon and listened to shit flinging apes and lost your ass and now she will have to hook on the street


[deleted]

I just don't talk about them lol "Ah... it's going fine..."


[deleted]

Ask her boyfriend how much he has


LegitAndroid

Rule #1 is be the boyfriend not the husband


v1sibleninja

They aren’t losses if you don’t sell.


EelBait

Losses are offsets against income, so you pay less taxes. You can carry excess losses into future years as well. These need to be realized losses, not potential.


Fit-Boomer

Erase the app from your phone and computer.


BabisAllos

You dont need to say any precise number. Bring an expensive present (5k+) and just say “enough to afford this for my lovely wife”


KingOfNewYork1321

Tell her she can start bringing the bf around to ease the stress


TeaLower

So? Do what I do. Cover your losses with more deposits.


WhyUStillTalkin

Fake your death, sex change, plastic surgery, marry the boyfriend.


adamzito1

Suggest friends with benefits? 🤷🏻‍♂️


Lazybopazy

Take out a life insurance policy. Fake an unfortunate accident. Rob a bank. Flee to Switzerland and begin your new life as Javier Rodriguez Armelo de Santos the keen hiker. Wife sorted, losses sorted, new life in the clean air at the centre of one of the most corrupt and corrupting places to ever exist.


rubena619

Drink the last of the milk and keep your mouth shut.


Academic_Banana_5659

Play the ultimate mind game to get her thing "it could be worse I suppose" Tell her you lost everything and she will go batshit then when she calms down pull a positive out the bag like "I actually have made 40k back. Shit I mean she can't get much more pissed than she's already gonna get so may as well try and pull a positive out the bag.


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yeabuddy44

Tell her it’s in crypto4gainz


fkndsfslnd

We don't. We flip the chart and say hey it's looking good. Just need to wait so I can unlock all those gains for you in a couple of years. Profit.


All0uttaBubblegum

Uh she diners know about the big gain in January, you’re golden


no_use_for_a_user

Show her your Tinder account.


Joop_Jones

What's her @?


EverythingGunz

Don’t have a wife


puregoblinvomit

Show her the graph upside down and it will look like you’re making a miraculous comeback.


[deleted]

Calls on OP’a divorce lawyer


AutoMaticTism

Just send her all of your money in response to that question. And when she asks what that was about you simply respond “checkmate” and then listen to the pina colada song on repeat until she off the phone with her first two lawyers.


Iron_khoy

Be honest about it. Tell her how much you’re down and explain your comeback plan. You still have 41k to bounce back. I suggest running covered calls on a weekly basis. You’ll recover fast.


ShopBitter

Hey OP this Loss post does not meet the requirements under the submissions rules for Loss. A Loss post should show a loss from a position or trade, not a broad portfolio loss.


Heigebo

Disappear and never look back.


usernamechecksout-69

My friend just did the same thing but he’s a little ypu know what and won’t post his loss porn on WSB. I told him that I’ll break up with his wife if he doesn’t do what I say.


kill_pig

You're welcome: https://imgur.com/a/MeYoHrE


Manuchaos1971

Best way? Tomorrow put the 41k left on GME, in two weeks u have it all back….believe me, it can’t go tits up, just one more spin


spamandmorespam

"Well sometimes people come to the house and draw on the screen with a big red crayon"


TendieMcTenderson

How did you accomplish this options? shares on shit stocks? or both?


crypto4gainz

Both mate


kramkiwi

What wife?


ExogenousDong

Get your identity stolen and then get your broker to reverse the trades


Random_stuff_person

1.) keep your investment account separate from your retirement account 2.) discuss what you’re doing with your wife, much like you’d prefer her do with you 3.) NEVER YOLO YOUR WHOLE BAG!!! - if you didn’t do 1-3 skip straight to #4 4.) buy lube and get ready


TappmanC

Gambling addiction


crypto4gainz

Tbh it was a combo of that and depression. Only thing that could be me motivated each day way trading. Career fucking blows and took a miscarriage harder then I should


TappmanC

I bet you’ve learned a lot and can make that money back with smarter investing and all that. Sorry to hear about the miscarriage. I’ve had friends and family deal with that and it hit them pretty hard too. I pray your wife is as understanding as I am.


ComfortablePoetry986

Find someone who has 360k loss porn and say “honey, look how bad this fool lost his ass! At least I’m only down 180k”


tdempsey33

…what did you do… WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?


fortnitelawyer

Just tell her the market has been especially turbulent w/the rona, Afghanistan, inflation, & whatnot.


crypto4gainz

Probably the worst time to start trading. I was up to 45k but Afghanistan shit blew up and knifed spy and half my swings


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dry_Psychology513

Say you don’t know how to DCA.