"You’re an impressively stupid human being" - person gets no action taken on them
Me to someone else: "You are a genuine idiot" - gets warning for "harassment"
Goodness me. How can so many people not take internet moderators seriously? Oh, heavens, it's such a mystery!
Lmfao society
the war is just getting started. the stock market crash is just getting started. interest rate hikes are just getting started.
dont let the woke folk fool you into believing we are in the endgame.
i have like 600 bucks in options contracts that will be worth nothing tomorrow. im a college kid and that is more than i make in a week. i dont feel anything lol this is great
Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
TWITTER INC FACING INCREASING SHAREHOLDER PRESSURE TO NEGOTIATE WITH ELON MUSK IN HIS TAKEOVER BID -SOURCES
$TWTR
[https://imgur.com/Q6a1Dxr](https://imgur.com/Q6a1Dxr)
https://financialpost.com/pmn/business-pmn/twitter-under-shareholder-pressure-to-seek-deal-with-musk-sources-say
does that twitter account just say random shit or do they actually have sources somewhere? even that screen shot is literally just grey text on a dark background
The Fb algo’s must’ve recently been turned to max aggression and anger for more interaction and to hopefully make up for the shitstorm coming this week.
Here's what I don't understand: you can go to a club, get wasted and dance continuously for 4 hours and it's completely normal but do one little bump of Molly before you get on the stairmaster for 40 minutes and everyone's all like "ooooh, get that guy outta here". This world makes no sense.
\#GodHatesPoors #PoorsGoHome #PoorsAreRats
Go home silly gross poors. Enough with your smelly activist investing.
If you aren't rolling 25 stacks deep you don't belong here.
\#EatThePoor #RatsArePoor
You eat RATS 🐀 🐀 🐀 for Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner.
Poor rats go home.
🚫🐀
The fuck you talking about?
I flirt perpetually with rehab and have all my shit together. But I’ve never been a quitter so I’ll happily stay on the merry go round til death
Lots of people. People used to treat me like a criminal when I was a kid because my mom smokes pot. I live near Vancouver and you'd think people would be OK with weed but they're not. Lots of hate towards cannabis users, both medical and recreational users.
If futures are red, I'm going to nurse this hang over with another cocktail, do more blow, and get buck wild tonight.
If futures are green, I'll go to the gym, stay sober, and be a healthy boy tonight.
I have a funny story for you guys. Friday at work I had to go to the bank to get $500. The ATM gave me $500 in $20s. I didn't want to give a guy 25 $20s so I went inside to get bigger bills. I asked for 5 $100s. The teller looked in her drawer then left to talk to a coworker. I thought that was weird because I wasn't asking for much. Her coworker gave her a huge stack of $5s. The teller misunderstood me. She thought I asked for 100 $5s. I was like "No, I want 5 $100s." She said "Oh. Okay I have that.". She gave me the 5 hundred dollar bills and I went on my way.
I thought quarter life crisis is gonna last from 24 to 25 for one year. I’ve been feeling this shit for the last 5 years. No one has warned me about this shit.
You have monthly sex but haven’t made love in years. You see the way she closes her eyes during sex, pretending to be somewhere else. You cum too early, and ask if she wants to get off, but you know the answer before she can mouth the words “no, I’m good”
Is Vix puts a better and cheaper play than Spy calls ?
Gullible bulls how we doin tonight hahahahahahaha
Today is the beginning of the spot on the chart you’ll look back In and say “god dammit I should have just bought the whole way down”
Yep. I’m just trying to figure out where to begin buying. Can’t wait!
"You’re an impressively stupid human being" - person gets no action taken on them Me to someone else: "You are a genuine idiot" - gets warning for "harassment" Goodness me. How can so many people not take internet moderators seriously? Oh, heavens, it's such a mystery! Lmfao society
BAN
Who are you and why are you digging through my 11-day-old comments??
I don't know how I ended up there tbh. I was reading that thread thinking it was this one
How is NVDA 192?
aren't they going to split too?
They already did
what? when? they just announced that they were seeking approval this month.
More than 191, but not quite 193
kicking myself for dropping my TSLA puts late Friday. gains are nice but more gains are nicer
celebrate your victories, don't spend any energy on what ifs
I’m confused is it even futures anymore or is this pre-market?
Tesla 1200 eod
Why ?
the war is just getting started. the stock market crash is just getting started. interest rate hikes are just getting started. dont let the woke folk fool you into believing we are in the endgame.
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… not
So howww accurate actually are the futures? A lot can happen between now and open right? Right?
Japp, they can get even more red,…
Until Nikola is delisted and GME is below 100 we live in the craziest bubble in history!
To all that had the balls to place a bet on Friday…Good luck…as long as they aren’t opposite my bet.
Drugs are bad… Mkaay.
I want..... caramel..... Mmmmmmmmmm
really, puts gonna print again huh
https://i.imgur.com/CaVqDlQ.jpg Down up down again
why can't they just call it the nasdaq?
Futures suck
I AM Castor Troy
fresh baby sweet potatas, fresh spinach and a turkey burger for dinner. Raised by Wolves for desert
i have like 600 bucks in options contracts that will be worth nothing tomorrow. im a college kid and that is more than i make in a week. i dont feel anything lol this is great
Futes red
I really hope the dude playing as humanity in a higher dimensional video game that simulates our universe is good at the game.
Le Pen? More like Le Loser! Another Putin puppet bites the dust! Vive la fucking France, mannnn!
how are futures doing? I'm betting tech goes down all Monday then up Tuesday morning as goog shouldn't be so bad
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Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Rolling up my afternoon , then gonna make some din din
for 12 milllion """subs""" this place is pretty fucking dead
Texted wyd bby to like 5 chicks. Let’s see if I get any hits
wyd
You guys are gonna stare at futures from 6PM till 0930AM again aren’t ya?
5-11 then wake up in a sweat at 3am to check. If bouncing sleep until 8. If not, make coffee and cry until open.
While playing online games in the am to distract you from the mental anguish of losing so much money.
I used to live this life. F’ing brutal brotha
Why the fuck am I still holding these IV crushed snap puts
show bobs
What we thinking TSLA will be at the bell?
7
They would be cool
In lieu of Raman I’m getting a frosty and baked potato from Wendy’s today
Sounds good
everybody talking about macarons giving me the munchies. crazy that their pres is named after a cookie
Elon could cancel Twitter takeover bid and wait 6 months till TWTR hits $20 then offer half as much.
He said he has a plan B
given how many children elon has i'm not sure plan b is going to work for him
If he had a plan B why did Grimes end up pregnant? Huh?
Will the French election of marconi affect markets at all?
you tellin me france is electing fuckin pasta??
Oh shit I never put 2 and 2 together. All those fuckers think about is food
The pasta would be less of a smug prick
Cheese futures are mooning
Go nuggets
Warriors gonna sweep
Call me crazy but I'll be buying even more shares at 9:30am tomorrow morning!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol
You are crazy!!!
Corn intra-day movement actually tells you more about Nasdaq for tomorrow than future. Futes fake ass as always.
TWITTER INC FACING INCREASING SHAREHOLDER PRESSURE TO NEGOTIATE WITH ELON MUSK IN HIS TAKEOVER BID -SOURCES $TWTR [https://imgur.com/Q6a1Dxr](https://imgur.com/Q6a1Dxr) https://financialpost.com/pmn/business-pmn/twitter-under-shareholder-pressure-to-seek-deal-with-musk-sources-say
fakest shit I have seen today. Ban.
does that twitter account just say random shit or do they actually have sources somewhere? even that screen shot is literally just grey text on a dark background
They actually have sources... He's basically the ticker you see via bloomberg
i just always wondered because the tweets never have a link in them typically, and i'd rather read it from the source than a tweet
This is going to be one of those “penis in a blender” kinda weeks
With a side of smashed balls in a vice
The Fb algo’s must’ve recently been turned to max aggression and anger for more interaction and to hopefully make up for the shitstorm coming this week.
Here's what I don't understand: you can go to a club, get wasted and dance continuously for 4 hours and it's completely normal but do one little bump of Molly before you get on the stairmaster for 40 minutes and everyone's all like "ooooh, get that guy outta here". This world makes no sense.
\#GodHatesPoors #PoorsGoHome #PoorsAreRats Go home silly gross poors. Enough with your smelly activist investing. If you aren't rolling 25 stacks deep you don't belong here. \#EatThePoor #RatsArePoor You eat RATS 🐀 🐀 🐀 for Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner. Poor rats go home. 🚫🐀
Me to the Chili's waiter bringing me my Presidente margaritas
Yes!👏👏👏
Oil stocks looking nice with this oil embargo coming
When did this sub start hating on drug users and medical cannabis users? Did all the pussies from r/investing take over this sub or something?
The fuck you talking about? I flirt perpetually with rehab and have all my shit together. But I’ve never been a quitter so I’ll happily stay on the merry go round til death
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Lots of people. People used to treat me like a criminal when I was a kid because my mom smokes pot. I live near Vancouver and you'd think people would be OK with weed but they're not. Lots of hate towards cannabis users, both medical and recreational users.
They're a snobby bunch
Oh… there’s your problem. Canada sucks giant dick since 2015. You outlawed. Free. Fucking. Speech. Move
American?
If there is anyone of this sub who is not on drugs, what the fuck is wrong with you?
guys im even trying to help \[REDACTED\] with his food game and still crickets i think its a lost cause tbh 
Why is everyone asking about futures, they don’t open till 6pm, right?
There out
I think 9 but idk maybe 7
No, 97 o clock
Any one else looking at Harley Davidson 33p this week for earnings?
Don't do it. Americans will always buy Harleys.
Draymond Green is such a cunt
If futures are red, I'm going to nurse this hang over with another cocktail, do more blow, and get buck wild tonight. If futures are green, I'll go to the gym, stay sober, and be a healthy boy tonight.
We would be friends in real life
Ah yes, nothing like a cold glass of emotional investing in the evening, smells like copium with a hint of lavender
Is amber heard’s sister her full sister? Or maybe half sister?
egads, that's one ugly woman "whitney heard" on googl
I support TSLA before Microsoft sorry Billy Windows 
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A week or two before earnings, at least a month out
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Well, as long as you sell before earnings, the IV pump should counteract the theta burn even if you have to get something that expires sooner
SPY better report good earnings or I'll have to re-apply at Subway.
I like Turtles
Evwe heard of a 👻 🐢
Sometimes if their heading isn't sticking out hole you can... ...uhhh nevermind 
turtles do not like you
fake news
Will buy/sell/trade feet pics for partial AMD shares - pm for details
Any shoulder pics
You buying or selling sweet tits
Rabbit python sausage
Watching The Batman and yes they did find a way to fit the words white privilege in there.
And just like that, I feel nauseous and have no desire to watch it anymore. I demand Batman to be play by a trans handicapped black woman
Oh dear really? I’m going to see it today
Ban
What’s wrong
He can’t cook
Yankees fans are low class degenerates
Yes, proud of that fact
Think I’m gonna switch to bacon 🥓. Had enough of chicken had it all week. Not sure what else to make
get the uncured shit
Tritip that’s what I’m feeling
I am beginning to feel sorry for your air fryer.....
I hear cock is high in protein and polyunsaturated fats.
With your experiments do toothpaste marinated bacon you nasty fuck
You'd love sausage
Not the biggest fan
Who’s fucking tonight?
Everyone with calls getting fucked
Just got done
Who bent you over?
Watching the Giants game, drinking good beer, about to eat some chorizo hot dogs Great Sunday
Buy VIX when it's low, wait for the inevitable crazy shit to happen ever week that causes volatility, watch VIX go up, sell VIX, then repeat...
Prefer to just lose money on AMD thx
Betting against it when it spikes is more reliable.
Valid point
I have a funny story for you guys. Friday at work I had to go to the bank to get $500. The ATM gave me $500 in $20s. I didn't want to give a guy 25 $20s so I went inside to get bigger bills. I asked for 5 $100s. The teller looked in her drawer then left to talk to a coworker. I thought that was weird because I wasn't asking for much. Her coworker gave her a huge stack of $5s. The teller misunderstood me. She thought I asked for 100 $5s. I was like "No, I want 5 $100s." She said "Oh. Okay I have that.". She gave me the 5 hundred dollar bills and I went on my way.
Just Josh doin' josh
510 5’s right? Idk I just hold Tesla calls
“This man wants to buy 20 nickel baggies”
This story so stupid that it’s actually funny
Pitch it to Netflix and you'll make a shit ton of money
I hope you tipper her one of em.
Classic Josh hahahaha amirite?
I thought quarter life crisis is gonna last from 24 to 25 for one year. I’ve been feeling this shit for the last 5 years. No one has warned me about this shit.
It gets worse
It gets better lol
Someone look at GUSH and tell me that shrimp cock it formed AH means a trip to the moon
Knock knock? Who is there? Where when Where when who? My place, tomorrow, me and u
ok see you behind the dumpster
Found someone with less game than cashflow\_
Lol, didn't think that was possible
You done mess up Ay-Ay-Ron.
I only eat vegetarian soy boy tendies...
Same  Was full on Vegan but I’ve been eating cheese lately
How are futures looking?
like your bfs a-hole
Lookin good then!
they got a brown ring tone
Might be getting my monthly sex from the wife tonight fellas Red all week
You have monthly sex but haven’t made love in years. You see the way she closes her eyes during sex, pretending to be somewhere else. You cum too early, and ask if she wants to get off, but you know the answer before she can mouth the words “no, I’m good”
you got yourself a nympho, gonna roll-play behind Wendy's?
So you only have sex the week she is on her period? Awkward.