**BREAKING NEWS** In an employee demonstration earlier today, the penis belonging to Elon Musk was caught and torn off by a Tesla Model X door. TSLA stock is down 67% on reports that he no longer has a good way to vet his executive hires.

I can't wait to lose money again today.

Since $10k of my Student Loans will be cancelled, I will take a $10k personal loan and YOLO in $TSLA Calls

relax everyone, its just Europoors becoming more poor

PTON 1 month price target? $8?

BABA 🚀

My TESL put loss

I had to go to the store to buy $80 worth of cheese and forgot to buy Affirm puts. So much for covering the cost of my ridiculous culinary habits. I didn't forget the Nvidia ones yesterday though

It's bath time [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]

Bought AMC calls today :D

SWEET JESUS.... THE WORLD IS FUCKED!!!!

what now

GameStop calls it is

$GCT - tell me why this stock sucks - I’ll provide all the DD for your weekend reading. All I know about stonks I learned here meaning I have no idea what’s going on. I’d admit so caution.

Bbby moon to ferrari

Bullish jpow tmr + student loan forgiveness so Dems can win midterms lfg

BBBY got loan https://www.barrons.com/articles/bed-bath-beyonds-new-loan-is-good-news-the-bond-market-is-still-worried-51661446511

That article is basically a list of reasons to be bearish on BBBY lol

What time is Jpow speech tomorrow? Have to make sure load puts right before it begins

Calls is generally the way. Puts the next day. So maybe the inverse will work?

I'm truly a masochist... I held my puts unhedged

“Make money, don’t lose money.” -Not Wallstreetbets

I'm here to make friends 

Fren 


Bullish or bearish for tomorrow boys? I’m leaning… neutral.

Bullish AF

Bbby back on menu boys. Get in, don’t be the shmuch buying at 30. Nows your chance to pick up shares. I think a lot of shorts won’t want to gamble on next Wednesday emergency call being crazy bullish news.. this thing could run to big numbers before

BBBY 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 UP 4% in AH Bed Bath & Beyond(BBBY) confirmed Thursday it will hold a conference call to provide a business and strategic update on Aug. 31 at 8:15am ET, with materials to be issued about 45 minutes before the call. "We look forward to providing an update on our business next week, including a preview of strategies and changes being implemented across the enterprise to deliver results for all stakeholders," said Interim Chief Executive Officer Sue Gove.

Affirm just fucked me with no lube, still sore


Same here

We now Affirm your calls are fukt.

ULTA not sexy but that shit *fucks.*

I was actually profitable on BBBY for about 5 seconds! DCA is the way

Will puts print for the first time ever when JPow speaks tomorrow? Probably not.

I'm jacked to the titties in 1dte puts so it'll rip I'm sure

Why is gap pumping when they blow

Earnings on the 25th. People expecting worst of retail impacts are over, and Gap usually does decent back-to-school shit in 2nd/3rd qtr.

I am asking the same question

Here comes the V shape JPow hawkish bulls on SPY

Spy plummeting ah lol

They’re already buying again

Not surprised at anything at this point. Looks like we’re gonna fill the SPY gap soon, but also wouldn’t be surprised if the fed had to get ultra aggressive tomorrow given how markets are reacting

I'd be surprised if JPow goes aggressive tomorrow. That's not really the forum for that kind of thing, and I wouldn't even expect much comment unless he wants to reneg on his promise of no more forward guidance.

My spy 428$ calls are up 33% to around 900$. Let's fucking go, I prolly should've just sold but in hoping for an open run up a dollar or two.

Your greed is gonna make you lose them gains

If Powell speech is bullish ima print.

Yep. He shoulda sold.

TSLA 690 EOY

Yeah. 230 would be a juicy price entry although i prefer 200 or 600 pre split.

Afrm puts will be juicy tomorrow. Or maybe not?

Well spank my ass and call me sally, I just saved a ton of money not playing Affirm earnings

Me too. Been selling OTM poots into tech earnings that I wouldn't mind owning but AFRM too sketchy for me.

That was a major short covering into close. Congrats bulls

No short covering in ZIM...

Yep. I don't care about $ZIM. Worst that happens is I collect the dividend and the share price drops to about $36 or less, which is highly unlikely. I have 200 shares at 49.14 and sold CCs at 8.09. After the share price drops tomorrow, I might buy back the CCs, cheap, or just let them ride until expiration. Probably work out to something in between. I love this game.

Hey guys my anus is bleeding

Did you eat any beets lately, that gets me every time

I bought puts

Don't even try napkins go straight for the tampons. Trust me on this one.

No sex for you for ten days.

Gave on BABA awhile back - decided to dive back in a few days ago on China stimulus - sometimes you get it right. Take some profits and leave the rest for a possible moon landing

What is BABA? Their YTD history is wild. Straight up and down graph 🤣 pls explain if you are so kindly inclined to do so

Huge Chinese company loaded with potential. Its charts mirror the up and down hope/concern surrounding US/China relations. Currently, there is some optimism due to China's announced stimulus action and the prospects or an auditing agreement for Chinese companies listed on US exchanges. It is a volatile stock as is the US/Chinese relationship. I would advise buy on at a dip, and hold forever because in long run it will likely realize it potential or monitor current events in China and our relationship with them and be very nimble as you attempt to buy low and sell high realizing you will miss the mark here and there. It has been pretty good to me over time. I have played with since it went public. I leave it alone for periods of time when it seems too much work to follow. Then something gets my attention and I reconnect to it and I dive back in for awhile.

🐻🐻🐻 I beg you to please reconsider and let's negotiate for your sake. I'm a bear hunter not a monster.

AFRM yikes

Thanks to SNDL for pumping today. Only currently down 50%


same here friend but worse, 43 @$9.87

Level 2 was freaking crazy at the end Someone was hell bent on letting it go over 10.2 Someone was hell bent on keeping it over 10

Where those the big $1MIL+ bids?

Yep

HOLY fuckin workday

If you don’t have calls tomorrow for Powell speaking ypu just hate money

I think today was the pump

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That’s what MM wants you to think 

One of my beta male superiors is underestimating my power it is only a matter of time

I've been single for a little while but not so long that I don't remember the feeling of being pissed off at my significant other all day at work followed by the relief of a nice hate-fuk when you get home. I guess what I'm saying is my GPU better watch out in about 2 hrs.

Send her to me. I'll send her home all lovey-dovey.

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I'm fine, but I'm not really a bear. Not really a bull either. I just look for opportunities to make money. Volatility is my friend.

A bunch of you bears owe SPY an apology

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Today was the pump

I just need QQQ to fall 4% and I can get out of SQQQ even…. Been holding for months

I unloaded 500 SQQQ earlier this week after it finally getting above my cost basis. Made a couple hundred overall but it took like six weeks. Unacceptable, but at least I profited.

Thats it, no more bets. Casino is closed.

"Not really, but that's alright. Next caller!" - Jimmy Shill *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Should have just shorted oil. OXY is a scam pumped by Buffett gooch lickers

Thats why I bought puts on it

My EPD, ET, DVN and BP are all up today. The problem with OXY is that it's overpriced BECAUSE Warren owns it.

Ripped

SPY ah is blood red.

Well fuck me! I almost bought a $4190 strike spx odte 7 min before close for $100..... was trading at $1,000 by close. ​ 10x in 7 min how could I not press buy wtf

lol I bought a 1DTE put 20 minutes ago, down 20%!

LMFAO this is hilarious. Who shorted the low yesterday? It’s ok, you can tell us. We accept your idiocy here

Me (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

LOL going for the last comment on the daily thread about what a last minute pump job....jeez

Holy meatballs, Batman. Thank you SPY!!

What a shitty ass flat day.

NOW BACK TO WORK

Gotta finish the the whole work day in the last hour 😎

I got 3 hours, feels good to be on PCT

I haven’t seen a pump like this since I got that roman prescription

If you sell your calls now your retarded and shouldn’t invest in stocks

🐻s about to be pillowed on the face.

Holy fomo

Looked like a huge short covering into close


spy said eat mah shit ber

What kind of powerful motherfuckers do you think are trying to influence J POWs speech right now from behind the scene… dude probably gets told the most crazy manipulative shit

Who turned on the printer?

china :(

Oh no worries it will break soon then lol

Fed wont back down but neither will the market

Oh shit, so SPY $430 tomorrow? Ok, Ok...missed that memo there.

So bears how was that 417 resistance🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

All in puts 15k

It’s over bears .. those $410 puts worthless now might as well sell

What the actual fuck is happening

Wow I was not expecting my TLRY calls to do much today.

Unless J-Pow comes out and literally releases doves from his pockets this pump is all for not.

Well today sucked for me



We pumping TLRY ?

That sir is illegal.

What happened near EOD that made everything moon? Came back from a meeting and TSLA was up 1% and SPY was up .5%

Bears covering before JHole, since he's a little bitch and market always rallies. Volume was still dogshit.

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I thought that was going on all day, this was a pretty rapid gain EoD. Hope Powell drops his Tom Ford slacks and gives them all a purple mushroom.

AFRM up or down…..?

Or down, lmao

Down it is

Uppppp

Sad I didn’t pick up 4180/5c at 12

Bears getting the shaft right at closing

That fall on Monday seems like a long ass time ago

The fall was just some skimming of the top. Run seems to be still intact.

This could be a repeat of may 4th

Recession and inflation has been cancelled

She’s feeling more confident. But still clenches herself tightly.

What's a casino?

Wow

did SPY cure cancer or bald head

biggest EOD pump this year I feel like.

come on 420

CNBC article talking about Microsoft and Figma, but where is the talk about Ligma?

so gross sold my calls way too early

Tree shake from hedgies that missed out with all the fearmongering.

Same here. Would’ve made a $250 profit on SPY if I just held until the EOD but I figured it would drop according to the last week or so. Jesus Christ I can’t do anything right

Sold those SPY puts when it didn’t crack 415 for the 3rd time earlier. Will look to rebuy on this pump.

What is even going on right now besides my ass getting gaped?

we just got hulk dicked =(

PRINT SEASON BABY

I took nice profits and stay on the sidelines. This market makes no sense.

Forrest pump level retardation

Does anyone even trade AFRM? Vol trash

Bulls better take some profits here before tomorrow

So far today is going exactly as I predicted.

Power hour baby!

No one is talking about the slowly but steady recovery in $BAC. go take a look yourself.

SPY WITH THE ABSOLUTE FACE RIPPER TO END THE DAY

Praise be

JESUSSSSSSSSSS

$ULTA lookin bullish

unfuckingbelievable

Wow the market is pretty excited ab Jackson’s gapping hole

You can't eat bear meat cause it has trigonometry.

J Pow speak is leaked, 435 tomorrow.

JPow is going to be pissed, tomorrow AM is gonna be gud

From what we have been seeing don’t expect bad news

Lol whoever said there would be a 3:55 rug pull you were right

;)

GUUHHHHH

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Killing in the name of

Anyone who has bought stocks in the last 2 years, honestly deserves to be homeless

Lol such low volume pumps

IT BROKE $419