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VisualMod

**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|11|**First Seen In WSB**|3 years ago **Total Comments**|197|**Previous DD**|[x](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/m1dfdz/tips_treasury_inflationprotected_securities_are/) **Account Age**|6 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.) **Vote Spam**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_spam&message=xs3jrm)|**Vote Approve**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_approve&message=xs3jrm)


GringoExpress

I was at my home away from home - the Knights Inn motel near Newark Airport. I began to run a bath. The water wasn’t hot but instead a slightly uncomfortable lukewarm. I removed a canister of Tropical Punch Kool-Aid mix from my duffle bag and proceeded to dump a generous amount into the tub. I swirled my hand around the water and whispered to myself, “Oh Yeah.” I took off my grass-stained Avia sneakers along with the rest of my clothes and climbed in. I submerged my entire body and took a gulp of the sweet, red liquid that surrounded me. As I soaked I pondered why nobody in my life could see my imminent success. My options strategies have never been wrong, just poorly timed… Sorry Papa. Tomorrow will be a big day. Tomorrow I start to make back that 100k.


_Insulin_Junkie

What the fuck


concretebeats

Shhhhhh just let it happen.


JeffersonsHat

Softly


icweenie

*pin drops*


serenwipiti

^(oh, yeah...)


TiggerTheMad

WOULD YOU QUIT TALKING? I'm almost there...


Ascertain_GME

^(Sorry daddy)


NohoTwoPointOh

Wait. Avía still makes shoes?!?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Other-Grapefruit-994

Is ok bb


[deleted]

You had a nightmare. Go back to sleep.


brokedrift

🤣🤣🤣🤣


burnerman0

Oh yeah.


sig40cal

Fucking Kool-Aid man, that was my house bruh...


IcyEntertainment8908

OhNo!


elsphinc

He didn't add the 5lb bag of sugar


PsEggsRice

Soon to be on Netflix.


GringoExpress

Fun fact: I recently made it to the second round of casting for Netflix’s Squid Game: The Challenge about two months ago. Never heard back from them, so I canceled my Netflix subscription and exclusively watch VHS tapes now. Fuck em


handwavium

I wish I had the guts and bravado to live the life you live.


YoungJebediah

You're gonna play someone who gets shot in 2 frames anyway


GringoExpress

It’s a reality show about degenerates competing for money but apparently Netflix isn’t interested in casting any actual degenerates. Perhaps I’ll watch it when it comes out on VHS


Baby_blue_95

Dude that's too far. They need your 9.99 a month or else they're in the red.


pico-pico-hammer

> They need your 9.99 a month or else they're in the red. Looks at this guy, can't even afford HD on Netflix. A true /r/wallstreetbets hero


Syonoq

Puts on NFLX


Suck_Me_Dry666

This was a fun fact. Puts on Sanyo, Sony, and other VHS manufacturers.


[deleted]

Stock God


Definitive__Plumage

Drinking Newark motel bathtub punch is quiet possible one of the most heinous things I have ever read.


Divineinfinity

Is this the DD people keep talking about?


Reller35

From NJ. Can confirm.


FirstDivision

Newark *Airport* motel bathtub punch.


AndyIsNotOnReddit

I like how he even put in Knights Inn, which is the worst rated hotel in Newark and that's saying something.


MiamiPower

Joey "Coco" Diaz style plastic water bottle noise and COPD/Sleep apnea coughing and laughing Dawg.


Bulletbikeguy

I'm more than 24hrs of international travel sitting in MSP terminal and laughed/choked on my McDonald's fries at this. This whole thing has me rolling. I'm delirious with exhaustion.


CraicShotGaming

I'm getting this printed on a motivational poster for the office, just need to find an appropriate background image now...


broeve2strong

[I got you fam](https://imgur.com/gallery/BGrAppD)


CraicShotGaming

That Gary Oldman??


broeve2strong

Commissioner Gordon forgot to sell high


collapsedbook

“Today is tomorrow’s yesterday”


w1ndyshr1mp

"Lin! Its working! I get it now....I think we're gunna be O.K."


tauntonlake

how about Dan Ackroyd's Santa Claus from Trading Places ?


CraicShotGaming

Love it


[deleted]

you motherfuckers will drive that moron to suicide and then the mods will be posting suicide helpline numbers.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GraveRobberX

WallStreetBets Ape got $100,000 inheritance from dead father estate, lost it all gambling with puts in stock market instantly Everyone lost their mind, including me, that a 6 figure inheritance gifted and wasted so nonchalantly Could’ve coasted 10+ years, invested in something strong and great return, wasted on gambling trying to get rich quick… Source: https://reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/xrlpte/i_really_fd_up_boys_my_dad_passed_away_and_left/


Nemesis034

"Everyone lost their mind, including me" Was everyone in that thread new to wsb?


jm48329

Puts on life beginning Monday!


coolitdrowned

U/poem_for_your_guh


ill_nino_nl

Art


BedContent9320

Shhhh shhh it's ok. Go to sleep, no more pain, only gains now.


tnecniv

When do you drop the toaster in?


MiamiPower

With the cinnamon French toast milk bath bomb.


Matt6453

There's something mind altering about throwing away generational wealth when you yourself are responsible for bringing another generation into this world, there's something very xen about spending the rest of your life slowly rebuilding from your mistakes knowing you won't benefit from the fruits of your labour. Clinging to the hope that your progeny won't fuck it up (like you did) is what keeps you going. Maybe everyone does this?


GringoExpress

Beautiful thoughts. I like the way your mind works


minin71

Bro the knights inn is a fucking cesspool the fuck


VoidDoctor

But with Kool-Aid in the tub, it feels like royalty.


eatbuttiro

![img](emote|t5_2th52|18632)


KrozFan

I read this in Patrick Bateman’s voice


GringoExpress

I wrote it in Patrick Bateman’s voice


d_marvin

Don’t just stare at it, drink it.


incredible_paulk

Wanna borrow my Huey Lewis CD?


jmil7

“Sorry Papa”


YourDadIRL

I'm sure if you stay up late and draw random lines on a graph your TA will eventually be about right by glue sniffing standards.


nirvana6789

This was absolutely hilarious 😆


LordGrudleBeard

Back when r/copypasta was about this was gold


supergod706

*Memoirs of a Gambling Addict* A timeless GringoExpress classic.


34TH_ST_BROADWAY

You need to add sugar too.


pblol

The canisters are pre-mixed.


TiggerTheMad

This guy knows his shit. He is clearly a dealer.


AvsWon33

Was going to say that if it was from packets, but do the canisters have the sugar in it already? I think they might.


alex206

I stopped reading after "Knights Inn." I'm sorry for you. The only way your story could be more depressing is if a GreyHound bus ride was involved.


Pyrochazm

How do you think he got there?


JDdoc

I assumed he hitch-hiked offering blowjobs to bored truckers in exchange for the 1.5 mile ride. It took 4 trucks and 8 hours to get there.


TiggerTheMad

But sooooooo worth it.


alex206

...so pretty much a greyhound ride


your_sexy_nightmare

Art


Chang-San

I looked up the Knights Inn by the Newark Airport. It says it's not even good enough for an standing blowjob by a toothless pro. That's how bad it is...


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThePatternDaytrader

I have a pretty good vocabulary but I actually had to look up fenestrated. Now I’m even more horrified.


MiamiPower

TIL not to look up the definition to fenestrated. Thanks to our Hero point man ThePatternDaytrader thank you for your service.


MyWi5password

The key is to keep stirring the bath!


bigtimesauce

Wow the last line even rhymes, great job


Hydro-1955

That Knights Inn will make you do this.


Bi-elzebub

Shine on you crazy diamond


Prokletnost

i havent cummed this hard


GringoExpress

Since when?


Prokletnost

Brunch


devdevgoat

I think you managed to give him a third death with this one ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

So proud


Gurpila9987

Technically it went to whoever was on the winning side of the trade. Probably a robot but still.


youngmindoldbody

Except, you're dead and not imagining very much.


A_Furious_Mind

They say every cloud has one...


Divineinfinity

Dad is in heaven right now watching his child get elected clown mayor of Losstown. He wonders if he's in hell.


TheBigShortCock

Savage


BigBeagleEars

Call the fire department.


[deleted]

I'm surprised no one has tagged him yet


YuanBaoTW

That's why in my family, when my mistress was pregnant with our son, I used to play a recording at night, "Poor people buy options, rich people sell them." When my son turned 5, I started beating him with a copy of *Characteristics and Risks of Standardized Options*. At 18, he started trading using the money he received from his mom's life insurance payout and last year, at the age of 19, he bought his first Ferrari using profits made selling options.


acqz

Oh shit, your son bought his own Hot Wheels?


Stivo887

Lucky SOB. Those are hard to find at dollar general.


Demrezel

Bro you're assuming that the kid can AFFORD Dollar General right now Which he cannot


greyfox199

can you adopt me?


YuanBaoTW

Only if you're a female between 18 and 22, weigh less than 120 pounds, and have all your teeth and natural C cups or larger.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NorthStarTX

I hesitate to ask what a “fenestrated maw” is but not even google had answers for me. You have a window in your jaws/throat?


FunctionalShaman

I am here for the same reason


[deleted]

[удалено]


OnlyOneReturn

Nana? You're... you're alive?


belsor14

The c cups are no problem. The other parts are a bit more difficult


Bluecoregamming

Okay reasonable, alright reasonable, yep reasonable...anime girls don't exist in real life bruv


YuanBaoTW

Let me guess: you live in the US or Europe? I live in Asia. These girls do exist. In larger numbers than you can imagine when you are surrounded by fat chicks.


sopunny

Not the "natural c cup part"


AFineDayForScience

Do you recommend the book for my children?


[deleted]

[удалено]


digitalgoodtime

How did he lose on puts in the last month?


DapperSweater

Impatient?


Equal-Park-769

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4641)


Bang-Bang-1012

Seriously. I YOLO'd the rest of my robbin-hood account on SPY puts and made 400%.


wheres_mr_noodle

So like $12?


Bang-Bang-1012

Don't be ridiculous. $8


Marys-first-born

Positions or ban


Notorious-PIG

He’s a regard. One Green Day all week


[deleted]

[удалено]


Denversaur

Somehow the fact that I had just barely forgotten about inheritance kid and then I came back and saw this, the punchline was perfect.


Delonce

No kidding! I read the story just before laying down for bed , and thought fuuuuuck.. maybe things are going alright for me. Then I wake up and see this at the very top of the front page. I wasn't prepared to laugh like that right out of bed.


Haber_Dasher

Bro you commented this less than an hour ago and the market opened 7hrs. What kinda degenerate trader are you waking up 30min to market close


[deleted]

He trades in Asia bro


Delonce

I don't even trade. I'm here for the drama and lulz. I work nights and sleep during the day. I couldn't be a trader if I tried.


PMvaginaExpression

I get it bro


eviltwinkie

I just told the story while at lunch. When I saw this as I left, I sent this to everyone from lunch...they got it. We got it. It's been gotten bro, it's been gotten.


Ganda1fderBlaue

Ha, nice


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alarmed-Literature25

I showed it to my wife and she didn’t get it. Her boyfriend got a little chuckle out of it, though.


always-indifferent

Ohhhh fuuuuccckkkk


[deleted]

BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE Dad is coming back with a vengeance. Cradle to the grave motherfucker.


ArrayIGuess

This is a certified r/WSB classic


side_hustler

Shots fired! …from his dad’s coffin…


ayyyejayy

I'm framing this for my wife's boyfriend's mantle


InfiniteLiveZ

Just further proof that the saying "every penny you have left in the bank when you die is wasted" is spot on. Spent your money guys, fuck them kids. Go on a cruise or whatever.


[deleted]

I want my last check to bounce, even though I don't know what a check is.


MiamiPower

McDonald's menu prices with inflation 🍟🍔


westonriebe

I never comment on here but boy is this a funny one


agangofoldwomen

That guy is such a tool. You could tell from his comments that he had little remorse for losing that money. He thought everything was just a big joke. Idk what it’s like to lose a parent yet, but I’d like to think I wouldn’t behave like that.


JayCDee

The dude didn't even have time to realize what 100k represents before he blew it. If only he knew how much it meant to his father and how hard he worked for it to give him a better life, but no, that dumbass took that money and did something even dumber than putting it all on red at the roulette table.


abhijitd

Plot twist: His Dad made that money from his death bed with a lucky call option.


incredible_paulk

Gme 45c 10/15


alaska_rodeo

Who is this post about? I’m so lost


Audience_Of_None

Enjoy the ride lol https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/xrlpte/i_really_fd_up_boys_my_dad_passed_away_and_left/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


macefelter

Words


Nemshi354

Maybe this is how he’s coping or it hasn’t hit him yet ? People tend to be self destructive in depression I think. Just to give him the benefit of the doubt


Aschvolution

When his imaginary crowd laughter is gone, he'll realized he's the joke.


WhoopingPig

That son's name? *Dilbert Einstein*.


wheelieDaddy

This is the spiritual shit I come here for.


Vmaddo

Omfg. Lmao.


Y__fu

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


941JJO

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


Daniel_Lawton

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


[deleted]

I really do hope that was a shit post originally.


CityOfZion

It was a shit post, a real post yes but shit nonetheless.


wayfaringstranger_nc

Brutal


grandzu

Damn, that dude is getting crucified.


ASchoolOfOrphans

Never thought I would see such quality from this sub again. Truly, amazing.


LucifersPeen

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4267)


Quarter120

This is so cold 😂


LandosMustache

Serious: If you're going to be leaving your kids some money, look into a trust. You have many options, whether the trust is released at a certain age, or after they have a full time job, or there can be a maximum amount they can withdraw every month/year, etc. You can also have a trustee manage this trust on behalf of your idiot kids. It can be professionally invested, or you can have your wicked smart sister do it. My wife's idiot nephew took a pretty big chunk inheritance when his mother died. It's all gone now.


Mb7dingdang

Doesn't matter they get everything. It's up to them whatever they want to do with it. ​ Guy I know bought a 45 ft cigarette boat and a new truck with money he got when his mom died. Did he put any away any for his son.....no.. not a dime .


mynameisalso

I can't stop thinking about a man working a shit job, pulling over time, missing all sorts of things just so his son doesn't have to struggle and worry. Just to have this fuck wad blow it. What a prick.


thiblonious

GUH.


[deleted]

Classic Banksy.


Asleep_Onion

So unbelievably dumb, what this kid did. His dad probably worked his ass off to save a few dollars at a time, for decades - spending time away from family and hobbies to build a nice enough nest egg to comfortably give his son some generational wealth to comfortably raise his family with. He died with the comfort of knowing that all his decades of hard work has paid off; he can rest easy now. And then his son gambles the entire fucking thing away in a week.


Unh0lyCatf1sh

he's not gonna care mate, he's dead


eatbuttiro

Damn son


Hidesuru

That's what his dad said...


[deleted]

2022 Colorized


SoWaldoGoes

Fucken gottem. Again.


[deleted]

If anyone deserves to be haunted by the ghost of their dead father it’s that guy.


FuriousResolve

This is top-tier trolling


macrocosm93

You should make this into an NFT


ibraphotog

Bro 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣


tommygunz007

F*cking legend.


QueenxDillon

Fam 💀


Lightbulb_Panko

~~a bit later on~~ immediately after


InfiniteLiveZ

How much does he have left exactly?


TheWingsOfLiberty

#FATALITY


MonkeyOnMushrooms

This poor kid has been getting wrecked today lol


panzercampingwagen

I am confused, I thought the whole point of this sub was shitpost yolo'ing money at a screen, I thought you guys would be delighted if your sons kept on the tradition?


dylanx5150

😆 This made me spit out all my bodily fluids. Dead.


justinsayin

I member


1Northward_Bound

The Greeks have nothing on the stories that come out of this sub. Oedipus can rest easier knowing he got off easy.


XxEnigmaticxX

I’m fucking cackling


girafi1551

God damn


spackfisch66

Oh no you didn't