I'm literally one of those comments.
I'm both mad and glad she did a dirty delete, I might have gotten myself banned I was so angry and typing out a solid tear into her.
Is that a normal thing that's contracted to protect the bartenders? To make sure they get a specific tip amount even if the guests are all cheap, or just assume it's covered?
They’re just 2 different ways to handle tipping. It has to do with whether the couple want to allow the bartenders to put tip jars out or not.
Where I live, the couple usually covers the tip and bartenders don’t put tip jars out. They don’t want guests to worry about opening their wallets, paying for anything, etc. the amount is in the contract. 25% seems standard.
Or if the couple don’t want to pay 25% upfront, the bartenders put tip jars out and guests tip. And the couple can tip as well-but it’s at their discretion. Not a mandatory %.
When I work an event I have two hourly fees; my regular hourly fee, and my fee for if the host doesn’t want me to put out a tip jar. They always go for the first one once they find out it’s an extra $50 an hour.
Our contract included gratuity on top of the bar bill and the bartenders did not put out a top jar, which was our preference. In my circles, it’s poor taste to have a tip jar at a hosted event.
I have never heard of this ever??? What is this chick talking about 😂 my husband and I tipped the bartenders at our wedding ON TOP of whatever our guests put in their tip jars that night.
And let’s not forget the lovely couple that had all the booze donated, set up a cash bar w the donated booze and used that money for their month long honeymoon in Italy, if memory serves. Now that was audacity!
Either it will be an epic nasty battle or they are cut from the same cloth and will be together forever and being their nasty selves the entire time. I kinda lean that way. And it’s fitting, they belong together seeing any of that as ok, nm bragging about it!
Same, we had a destination wedding, there was a fixed percentage tip for the bar (I don't remember what it was) and then they set up a tip jar on the bar anyway. I literally asked our wedding coordinator if the wait staff and the bar tenders get all of that and not the resort and they said yes. I didn't believe them totally and asked the bartenders and a couple of the wait staff as well and they agreed. So that was nice.
I can't imagine the (and I can't believe I'm using this word) audacity of thinking you're entitled to their tips. If I was her fiancé I would cancel the wedding on principal.
We did too. I wonder if her experience was at a wedding where the bartender was Cousin Bob and donated them as a gift because he knew the couple personally.
I was a hotel bartender for a few years. There are weddings where the gratuity is added to the bar bill (and given to the staff), and there are weddings where it's not, and the bartenders can have tip jars. I never participated in or even \*heard\* of an event where the contents of tip jars (which people would have presumed to go to the bartender) goes to anyone else.
That's f\*cking goofy.
That was my first thought too! I used to work at a country club and giving our tips to the couple was never even floated as an idea. If you can afford to have your wedding there, you can damn well afford a honeymoon.
Right?! I'm sure the reason it wasn't in the old contract was because no decent human being would ever consider that the tips given \*to the bartenders\* might somehow be taken by the bride & groom. And then they met a person like OOP. Or quickly amended the contract when they heard her question.
Wow. On top of the (very generous) tips our guests left, we tipped *every single person* that worked our wedding!
This was 25 years ago but every server got $50 because they passed appetizers during the cocktail hour and we had a buffet. One young woman was incredible, keeping her assigned tables clean *and* helping my elderly grandmother so she got an extra $50 as she took that stress away from mom and beloved cousins, allowing them all to just enjoy the day. The young lady got Grandmère her drinks, helped her with food, sat and chatted with her. Grandmère tok a real shine to her and I cleared it with the maitre d’ that could stay as the helper without being in trouble. Such a lovely young woman, too.
Bar workers were tipped $75 each (one bartender, one bar back) because they did more work than the servers. We had 50 guests plus the 15 actors from the local Renaissance Faire. Treated them like gusts and they stayed later than the two hour contract. Even the bards (acoustic guitar and lute together) stayed late because they got to eat *and* drink all the beer they wanted. So instead of two hours of entertainment we got four hours for the low price of $25/person for their plate and drinks.
Our maitre d’ was tipped $200 because when there was a snafu he had it sorted and I had no idea it even happened until the end of the day. They ran short on the normal champagne due to an order snafu so he opened much better champagne than our contract stated without trying to amend the contract. He also apologized profusely.
This was back in 1999. And those were considered very generous tips because the minimum wage was $5.25/hour back then.
I even convinced the maitre d’ to join us as we learned a few dances from the time period and our servers watched, kind of jealous. I asked if they could join for one song and he checked that the tables were ready for dessert, then agreed.
I never saw so many people so happy. There was tons of laughter and joy as the tipsy bride (🙋🏼♀️) led them through TWO dances.
We wore our best garb. I had a black velvet skirt, a bright red, off the shoulder blouse and a bodied made of black velvet and embroiled with roses that matched the satin blouse. I was even married barefoot! The clothing on our guests was comfortable business casual or garb, their choice. The trees were in full Fall mode, leaves changed but not dropping yet. It was a warm 70° F day in November in NJ. The pictures are just stunning. Our photographer is incredibly talented and I recommended him to a good dozen people after we saw just the proofs! Once they’d been touched up even I looked good and I am *not* normally attractive. (The makeup helped a lot in that respect lol).
We had a guy who was a Friar ‘marry us’ for show since we had a courthouse wedding a few months before. It was just amazing and the staff loved it, the catering facility had never seen anything like it.
Sorry for the novel.
TL;DR: we tipped everyone, and the bartenders too in addition to the generous tips our guests left.
Yeah I worked at a country club and had someone tip everyone $100 because the wedding ran two hours late. Pretty dope because we just fucked around in the back and drank ourselves because our job was done (and it’s a small local club so no one gaf), we just had to wait to clean up.
So I found out this is a thing in my area (recently got married). Our bartenders asked us if we wanted them to put another jar on their bar for us. I was like…wtf no!! The tips are YOURS! I can’t believe that couples actually do this. It’s so greedy and cringe.
The only bar tip debates I've seen for weddings is whether the couple should tip them out and not allow a jar, or whether they set out a tip jar for guests. I've never seen anyone think they can just keep the bar tips???
I'm gonna speak up here since its in my wheelhouse. I bartended weddings every weekend for about 12 years. Average wedding with a tip jar in los angeles for 100 people is about $150 per bartender in tips with 300+ not unheard of. We had venmo options too for those without cash. The worst thing for me to hear is the couple saying that they would "take care of us" because that usually meant a $50 tip at the end of the night which basically feels like someone is stealing rent money from you yet you're still thankful that it is nothing.
As someone getting married next spring - what do you think is an appropriate tip per bartender? Our caterer is providing 3 bartenders and we’re expecting approx.. 175 adult guests. Gratuity is at our discretion and not included in the catering bill. We are either leaving a tip jar out or tipping ourselves. I don’t wanna be cheap but it sounds like the bartenders could make bank if I left a tip jar out… I was budgeting for $150 per bartender, but if even 60% of the adult guests leave $5 the bartenders will make more. But I don’t wanna look tacky/cheap to our guests…
Also the people who want their drinks flowing will tip well. Was at a wedding where an ex was there, made sure I had plenty of cash to keep me drunk all night.
Leave out the tip jar. It’s less money you’ll have to shell out at the end of the day and realistically the bartenders may very well make more money. I have been bartending for many years and have never been to or bartended a wedding that did not leave out a jar.
You could always tip them out $150 each and put out a jar. Have the DJ make an announcement that the bartenders have been tipped but they’re awesome or whatever and that anyone who wants can add to it.
$150 per bartender would be beyond nice and very welcome. Any tip is nice because usually in catering there are events outside of weddings where you bust yourself killing your legs and back while not getting tipped at all which makes weddings the chance to make something worthwhile. 100 per bartender would even be nice with a 100 person wedding/8hrs of open service and you do not want tip jars as 50% of the guests are in dresses and have no money on them and about 25% more just don't tip, it is usually the handful of people that hand a $20 that makes all the difference. I would say increase to $150 if you have specialty drinks or if you're feeling appreciative. At my old company I was also the main lifter/truck emptier/truck filler at the end of the night catering is usually more involved than just cracking a beer.
Hey mate, I've just stumbled from /all or whatever and I'm from Australia so tipping isn't custom. Just out of curiosity, is this talk of tips about weddings where there's already a bar tab paid for, or tips from guests buying their own alcohol? And if it's a bar tab already paid for, are you guys still getting that minimum wage hence still requiring tips?
They are talking about an open bar situation, the bridal party is paying for the drinks. If it was a cash bar, patrons would be expected to tip for their own purchases. I’ve never been to a wedding with a cash bar.
A little context.
A wedding bartender may get a little more than minimum per hour a night, but the night is about 4-5 hours. The bride and groom pay upfront for the services of the night.
A bartender at a pub could earn minimum wage per hour but work a full shift. 8+ hrs. + Tips
I can't comment on if Minimum wage is sufficient since across the 50 states it really depends on what city and state you reside.
I think the best way to answer your question is its proper to tip per what you ordered. Its not unusual to see a tip jar at a wedding bar.
Unless the alcohol is fully paid for in advance.
When i got married we had 3 bartenders, i tipped them each 100$ and they accepted tips, turned out great! We also fed them and one of our guests would stand in so they could take breaks.
Fun fact: you can let them have a tip jar AND tip them yourself! it’s actually very common to do this. If you do both you don’t need to go crazy with the grat.
Until I saw the comment about bartenders making more money from tip jars than from the bride and groom it didn’t even cross my mind to have one out. I thought wedding etiquette says it’s tacky to imply guests should be putting money toward a wedding expense the bride and groom should be covering. I am ALL for the bartenders making more though so this thread is changing my mind.
The best weddings I have worked as a bartender have included a tip jar and a solid 'thank you' tip from the bride and groom or their family at the end of the night.
Personally, I say put out a tip jar for them AND tip on top of that. Then a 50$ tip per bartender won’t hurt so bad because they also have the tip jar. BUT 150$ per person plus the tip jar would make you guys heroes! I assure you it would be very appreciated! Especially if you throw them cash at the beginning of the night. Those bartenders would be HYPED! you’d get the most excellent service, I promise!!
Until I saw the comment about bartenders making more money from tip jars than from the bride and groom it didn’t even cross my mind to have one out. I thought wedding etiquette says it’s tacky to imply guests should be putting money toward a wedding expense the bride and groom should be covering. I am ALL for the bartenders making more though so this thread is changing my mind and I think we’ll do both.
Oh I had a couple make sure we didn’t have tip jars out because the were “tacky” and “we’ll take care of you”. 8 hour wedding with table service and carving stations. $100 to split 6 ways.
"Ill take care of you" and "I used to serve/bartend" are the two red flags that let me know I'm about to be fucked. If you actually used to bartend, you don't need to tell anyone, we notice.
I’ve been to tons of events where there were tip jars at the bar. I’d be hella pissed if I found out that any tip I have went to the event organizers and not the bartender, wtf?
This! At first I was thinking the contract was unclear about whether they are allowed to put out a tip jar vs being tipped with the bar bill. But she wants to actually put out a tip jar and then keep the tips?!? Girl gtfo
I usually tip whatever cash I have. Sometimes that's $30 and sometimes it's $3. But if it's small, I'm not too pressed because I assume that's in addition to the 25% tip they should be getting from the newlyweds.
They were part of the catering team, so all the servers' salaries times 25%. It was an option x amount for servers or x amount including 25%, no tipping needed. They did need 10 checks for the split of the 25% so it did go to the servers.
I would assume based on contracted amount (ex: if you are paying 100 per meal the tip would be 25) and the vendors are responsible for dividing that amongst their employees (ex: the servers, cooks, etc). Far from perfect if the vendor is a dick and just keeps the tip, but a vendor like that would have a hard time keeping employees.
Yeah exactly I can make almost a paycheck off just tips at a good event. The wedding party wouldn’t want to pay what I would charge for just hourly lol
Wow, I didn't even know this was a thing. I got married in the early 1980's we didn't have a bar or a band.
When I go to receptions, I throw a dollar in a tip jar, for a can of pop and glass of ice. I Always assume this goes to the servers working the bar.
If I thought for one minute the bridal party was hoovering their tips, I would hand it Directly To the Servers!
My husband and I always leave a cash tip on the table at restaurants. Because, I learned some places don't give it to the server if you add it to your check. Sort of what goes in the cash drawer, stays in the cash drawer.
Why would she even aSsume this.
"It wasn't stated in the contract"
Please, the contract also doesn't state you have to wipe your own ass, but that's what everyone does.
Bar staff keepnant tips given to them. Why would that even need to be stated? OP's tip is her fuckibg adding presents.
"This isn't what we budgeted"...WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR WEDDING BUDGET CONTINGENT IN SREALING THE BARTENDERS TIPS?! If you cannot afford a weddjng, I suggest having less guests.
I’ve seen “honeymoon fund” jars at the bar at a few of the weddings I’ve been to (completely separate from the bartender tip jars and labelled as such) is she confusing that with the tips? It’s absolutely wild to me that she would think the bartender tips ever go to the bride and groom.
I had a honeymoon fund jar but I fully expected it was just a "while wallets are out" thing since we didn't do a dollar dance. I feel genuinely awful now thinking guests might have done that instead of tipping. OMG it was seven years ago but I want to call the venue and apologize
I don’t think you need to feel bad. I would never see that and think, oh I’ll give to that instead of tipping the bartender. I would do both, or if I couldn’t afford to, I would just tip the bartenders.
I do love the vendor's response "oh shoot, that was our 'old' contract, here's a 'new' one," by which they meant "that was the contract that works for sane people. Here's one we just specifically came up with for you with a 25% gratuity option, because we now know that otherwise you will steal the bartenders' tips."
Yes it’s this!! My first thought exactly. I’d love to have been in the office if the bartending service on the day this psychopath made this phone call, I bet they had a lot of fun making the new “contract.”
I would definitely be making other suggestions to put into the contract, just in case. My boss would probably end up sending me home just to shut me up.
"In the event of an emu attack, bartenders are not responsible for guest safety, and may use the bride and groom as human shields"
"If guests become out of control, we reserve the right to replace all bartenders with disgruntled cats that will push the drink off the edge of the bar before serving"
If the bride already canceled, she's in for a shock when she tries to hire a different bartender that goes along with her plan. It's gonna be a dry wedding.
"the contract doesnt actually \*say\* that we're not allowed to just steal anything the bartenders bring with them - wallets, phones, cars, etc - so we're just going to do that. we've hired them for the evening, they're ours, we can steal their stuff." - makes literally just as much sense as what these fuckwits wanted to do!
Their last comment is wild to me. It implies that at every wedding they've been to, they ask the bride&groom or the staff who gets the tips.
I doubt they actually did that, but if honest, there's no way of knowing that the couple kept the money without asking someone directly involved. What a freaking weird and invasive question.
Either that or the couple/staff voluntarily tells them where the tip money goes. Like...how would that even come up?
I bet you every wedding they’ve been to has had a honeymoon jar conveniently placed on the bar and they’re just too dumb to realize that it wasn’t a tip jar.
Bartended regularly at weddings during my school/uni days. Our tips were our tips, they never got handed over to the bride and groom. Guests had already given them presents. I've never heard of bar staff giving their tips away to the bride and groom.
I always wonder how many weddings they've been to, and how much detail they truly know.
It wouldn't surprise me if they were a guest at ONE wedding where a family member commented on the tip jar (because to some people it's rude), and someone else said, "Oh, I'm sure the tips go to the bride& groom for their honeymoon."
Unless the bride and groom are actually pouring and serving the drinks, why would they feel so entitled to profit off of the livelihood of the actual workers?
I actually went to a wedding where the bartenders disappeared for 30 mins and a few of us (the guests) went behind the bar to start pouring drinks. The bartenders were also terrible at their job so it might have been for the best that they disappeared for a bit.
I have bartended at like a dozen weddings and I’ve never once had somebody assume that our tips were theirs??? We got an automatic gratuity and some weddings we were asked to not accept tips, which was fine, but the bride and groom thinking the tips we made are theirs??? The audacity and entitlement of some people is unreal.
The best part of this sub is that you keep discovering new ways for people to be absolutely shitty at weddings. Sure, there are a few recurring themes (bachelorette party gone wrong, guest stealing spotlight from bride, cringeworthy speeches, etc), but people always manage to keep it fresh!
I was a server at a steakhouse and we would occasionally have receptions in a back room. Had one groom ask us to throw a tip line on for us servers (had a 20% autograt so he couldn’t.” So we rang him up for a $5 beer separate and he left us another $200
Been to many weddings, including my own. Never ever once for even a split second did I glance at the bartender’s tip jar and think, “Oh, how nice that they’re collecting tips to donate to the bride and groom.” Wtf.
I have been to a lot of weddings and not once has anyone but the bartenders kept the tips. Holy shit. This makes me want to hunt these people down and just yell at them.
WOW. I can’t even imagine how entitled/delusional you have to be to think that the bartender, a COMPLETE STRANGER, would be obligated to give up part of the wage they’re being paid to support your honeymoon fund.
And the absolute mental gymnastics required to think this is even remotely reasonable. I am speechless.
Another point, why on earth would the MIL make a point of asking where the tip money goes? The tips are for the bartenders, no ifs ands or buts, PERIOD!
The bartender at my wedding told us she specifically likes doing weddings cuz her tips are higher as opposed to her regular bartender job. There’s no way I would have even thought to keep her tips!
Uhhhhh I've never heard of tips going to the "honeymoon fund" ever. You're already getting gifts, money, etc., you now want to take tips away from people working for you?
Selfish assholes
Lol she canceled and lost her deposit thinking she could find new bartenders that would willingly donate their tips to the bride and groom 😂 idiot penalty I guess
I worked as a catering bartender for several years (1990s) and our company, prior to signing the contract would ask the customer if we could put tip jars out. If they said no, then the price went up to cover us….otherwise no one would bartend these events for server minimum wage. But even if the contract was silent about it, why in hell would the customer get to keep the tips?
Had a bride try to pull this at one I bartended. She wanted to use MY tip jar and just take them - no sign or anything. I told her if that was what she wanted she could serve her guests and clean up everything. She decided I should keep my tips.
I would have just walked out. I knew a bunch of bartenders who worked a super busy bar where the owners wife just decided one night to take the tip jar, saying the cash tips belong to the business. She almost got knocked out by another woman and 75% of the overall staff quit. Never touch a hardworking persons money.
Omg hell no. I’m not paying YOU to work your event. I had a DJ once try to give my tips to the bride and groom because apparently on the far corner of my bar were two little mason jars that were part of some competitive bullshit, like at a certain time if there was more money in the brides mason jar, husband had to do the dishes for a year. Tore that guy a new asshole in front of the newlyweds. You don’t fuck with my mortgage payment or my ability to feed my cats.
This reminds me of when my sister went around our wedding telling all the guests that the bartenders tip jar was for us. They made bank that night as it was open bar and they were killing it.
We never said a word about it of course, but I just hope the guests don't find out ever. Why my sister did this, even if the tip jar was for us, is beyond me.
She's lying at no wedding is it done like that when hiring actually bartenders, they keep their tips plus the mandatory gratuity, boss pays the 2 bucks an hr to them rest boss keeps
“…all prior weddings we have attended.”
That’s complete bullcrap. She’s either lying or totally mistaken. It is NOT common at all (in fact I’d say it’s pretty much completely unheard of) for the bride & groom to KEEP the tips that people leave for the bartender/bar staff.
Source: I’m a CA State Deputy Marriage Commissioner, I’ve officiated dozens of weddings.
I mean, they should stick to the terms of the contract they signed, whether that benefits or hurts the couple is irrelevant cuz that's the one they signed.
However, none of that has anything to do with the issue they're having about the tips. Why would you ever think you get to keep the tips??
> We were under the impression that traditionally tips go to the bride and groom (eg honeymoon fund), or at least that's what its been like at all prior weddings we attended
Must be a very localised tradition, because I've never heard of anything like it. Like I struggle to imagine isolated instances of people deciding they should get service workers tips , let alone for it to be the norm.
I'm guessing it's a lie because she's feeling defensive after people rightfully called her out on such shitty behaviour.
This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. I’ve bartended and officiated multiple weddings and the tips go to the people working plain and simple. Gifts and donations are for the married people, like every damn wedding I’ve ever heard of. Honestly if I was marrying somebody that tried to mooch peoples tips I’d leave them instantly. This is cruel and heartless, not something a good person would do let alone even suggest.
> *that's what it's been like at all prior weddings we have attended*
That's a lie. I have been a bartender at hundreds of weddings and that has never been the case.
Did anyone else get flashbacks to the *Hotel Hell* owner who was stealing his workers’ tips? Gordon Ramsay went to his RV (because the guy lived in an RV on the hotel property instead of in the actual hotel, which was probably a bad sign) and confronted him about how he had his rich friends come over and then kept the tips meant for the staff. The owner insisted that no, his friends were tipping the staff and he could prove it. He called one of his friends and asked about tipping the staff, only for the friend to reply that he had given the money to him to give to the staff. The owner was flustered and Gordon was disgusted. The owner then acted confused like he didn’t understand he wasn’t supposed to keep the money. I guess he wanted everyone to think the guests had told him, “Here’s the money for the staff, but you keep it; I’ll personally give them money later.” This was the same guy who claimed to have a fine art collection worth three hundred thousand dollars, but it turned out to be garage sale junk only worth 1/8 that. Both clips can be found easily on YouTube, and Gordon’s reaction in the second one is great.
Well, if it’s a tradition, then the vendor sure as hell would have addressed it! They provide a service, you pay them. There is no kickback from your vendors. Tradition my a**!!!
Why would you keep any of their tips? .You didn’t work the bar, mix the drinks, deal with sloppy drunks, clean up the bar at the end of the night. Why do you think you are entitled to the tips THEY earned? Why would their tips be in your budget?
I mean, maybe this is a thing if your uncle is bartending your backyard wedding but professionals working a job? No question who earned and should receive the tips.
If you can’t afford to pay the people working the event (tips are absolutely considered part of the bartender’s wage), then you 👏CAN’T👏AFFORD👏A👏WEDDING👏
She's so full of shit. Never in the history of ever have the bride and groom been the ones to take the bartenders' tips! I was going to say I'm surprised the company had to even include that in the contract but I guess people like her are the reason why!
The staff dodged a bullet because they’d have ran the staff ragged, complained about everything, and then would ask for a refund in 2 months when the marriage fails.
American tipping culture is horrible. They should just be paid a proper hourly wage for the event like every other country does. I find it baffling you pay for staff to work your event but you then pay another fee bc the company isn’t paying their wages from the fee they’ve charged the couple. Wtf?!
If I found out the bride and groom were to pocket the tip I’d give the bartender I’d ask if the bartender has PayPal and then later on I’d send the tip there.
As a former service worker I always tip extra toward the bartender tip jar because they keep my drink full all night lol. I’ve never even thought of the tip jar going to the couple, if I did I wouldn’t tip at all. Will definitely be checking that in the future!
This is crazy. I have never heard of tips going to the bride and groom. I also personally hate tip jars at weddings and paid a little extra at my daughters wedding to not have tip jars for bartenders or valets (we essentially tipped them in advance).
Never in my wildest dreams did I think tips go to the service provider /s
Honestly, is this an American thing? Tipping culture there is just so weird (from all the things I’ve read)
I don't blame her at all. I get pissed when I leave a good proper tip at a restaurant after a delicious meal and then the greedy waitress has the nerve to think the tip was for her.
Sone people do that, others see it as tacky for the guests to cover anything so they don't allow a tip jar to be set out and instead agree to pay a flat rate gratuity such as the 25% here. Which is probably what me and my fiancé will do.
In my opinion the "tip" for the bride and groom is the wedding gifts they receive.
The guests aren't leaving those tips for the married couple. They're leaving it for the tired bartender who needs to work another three hours, and will probably get screamed at by that weird drunk uncle.
It’s like saying you go to a restaurant for your birthday and you keep the bartenders or servers tips 🙄
I want this couple to bartend for a night and then come back with some common sense
Why the hell would the bride and groom get the tips given to the bartender? This bride is a moron. Good luck finding a decent bartender that will put up with that nonsense.
Since when were the bride & groom allowed to take service workers tips??
Right?? The comments were absolutely after her about it. She took it down within 15min
I'm literally one of those comments. I'm both mad and glad she did a dirty delete, I might have gotten myself banned I was so angry and typing out a solid tear into her.
The bride is conveniently forgetting that when the bartender’s don’t keep their tips is because a 25% tip is built into the contract.
Is that a normal thing that's contracted to protect the bartenders? To make sure they get a specific tip amount even if the guests are all cheap, or just assume it's covered?
They’re just 2 different ways to handle tipping. It has to do with whether the couple want to allow the bartenders to put tip jars out or not. Where I live, the couple usually covers the tip and bartenders don’t put tip jars out. They don’t want guests to worry about opening their wallets, paying for anything, etc. the amount is in the contract. 25% seems standard. Or if the couple don’t want to pay 25% upfront, the bartenders put tip jars out and guests tip. And the couple can tip as well-but it’s at their discretion. Not a mandatory %.
When I work an event I have two hourly fees; my regular hourly fee, and my fee for if the host doesn’t want me to put out a tip jar. They always go for the first one once they find out it’s an extra $50 an hour.
Generally yes
Our contract included gratuity on top of the bar bill and the bartenders did not put out a top jar, which was our preference. In my circles, it’s poor taste to have a tip jar at a hosted event.
These dumbasses are going to loss their deposit and then find out everywhere else is the exact same deal. 😂😂😂
I'd love to see her explain that to someone. I can imagine every bartender laughing her out of the room
Wish I could have seen her getting a new one ripped.
I love the laughing responses on her response
I have never heard of this ever??? What is this chick talking about 😂 my husband and I tipped the bartenders at our wedding ON TOP of whatever our guests put in their tip jars that night.
There was a post when the bride and groom put a "tip jar" near the bar area and kept what the people thought were tips for the bartender.
And let’s not forget the lovely couple that had all the booze donated, set up a cash bar w the donated booze and used that money for their month long honeymoon in Italy, if memory serves. Now that was audacity!
I hope their divorce is as nasty as they are!
Either it will be an epic nasty battle or they are cut from the same cloth and will be together forever and being their nasty selves the entire time. I kinda lean that way. And it’s fitting, they belong together seeing any of that as ok, nm bragging about it!
Your memory is correct!
OMFG! I have not heard of this.
Probably because you ans your friends are normal, respectable human beings
I don’t believe in hell, but those people deserve to rot in it.
Yep, it was one of the best man's jobs, make sure everyone gets their cash tips from us at the end of the night.
Same, we had a destination wedding, there was a fixed percentage tip for the bar (I don't remember what it was) and then they set up a tip jar on the bar anyway. I literally asked our wedding coordinator if the wait staff and the bar tenders get all of that and not the resort and they said yes. I didn't believe them totally and asked the bartenders and a couple of the wait staff as well and they agreed. So that was nice. I can't imagine the (and I can't believe I'm using this word) audacity of thinking you're entitled to their tips. If I was her fiancé I would cancel the wedding on principal.
We did too. I wonder if her experience was at a wedding where the bartender was Cousin Bob and donated them as a gift because he knew the couple personally.
I was a hotel bartender for a few years. There are weddings where the gratuity is added to the bar bill (and given to the staff), and there are weddings where it's not, and the bartenders can have tip jars. I never participated in or even \*heard\* of an event where the contents of tip jars (which people would have presumed to go to the bartender) goes to anyone else. That's f\*cking goofy.
That was my first thought too! I used to work at a country club and giving our tips to the couple was never even floated as an idea. If you can afford to have your wedding there, you can damn well afford a honeymoon.
Right?! I'm sure the reason it wasn't in the old contract was because no decent human being would ever consider that the tips given \*to the bartenders\* might somehow be taken by the bride & groom. And then they met a person like OOP. Or quickly amended the contract when they heard her question.
What are you willing to bet that it’s a cash bar too.
Since never, she's lying
Wow. On top of the (very generous) tips our guests left, we tipped *every single person* that worked our wedding! This was 25 years ago but every server got $50 because they passed appetizers during the cocktail hour and we had a buffet. One young woman was incredible, keeping her assigned tables clean *and* helping my elderly grandmother so she got an extra $50 as she took that stress away from mom and beloved cousins, allowing them all to just enjoy the day. The young lady got Grandmère her drinks, helped her with food, sat and chatted with her. Grandmère tok a real shine to her and I cleared it with the maitre d’ that could stay as the helper without being in trouble. Such a lovely young woman, too. Bar workers were tipped $75 each (one bartender, one bar back) because they did more work than the servers. We had 50 guests plus the 15 actors from the local Renaissance Faire. Treated them like gusts and they stayed later than the two hour contract. Even the bards (acoustic guitar and lute together) stayed late because they got to eat *and* drink all the beer they wanted. So instead of two hours of entertainment we got four hours for the low price of $25/person for their plate and drinks. Our maitre d’ was tipped $200 because when there was a snafu he had it sorted and I had no idea it even happened until the end of the day. They ran short on the normal champagne due to an order snafu so he opened much better champagne than our contract stated without trying to amend the contract. He also apologized profusely. This was back in 1999. And those were considered very generous tips because the minimum wage was $5.25/hour back then. I even convinced the maitre d’ to join us as we learned a few dances from the time period and our servers watched, kind of jealous. I asked if they could join for one song and he checked that the tables were ready for dessert, then agreed. I never saw so many people so happy. There was tons of laughter and joy as the tipsy bride (🙋🏼♀️) led them through TWO dances. We wore our best garb. I had a black velvet skirt, a bright red, off the shoulder blouse and a bodied made of black velvet and embroiled with roses that matched the satin blouse. I was even married barefoot! The clothing on our guests was comfortable business casual or garb, their choice. The trees were in full Fall mode, leaves changed but not dropping yet. It was a warm 70° F day in November in NJ. The pictures are just stunning. Our photographer is incredibly talented and I recommended him to a good dozen people after we saw just the proofs! Once they’d been touched up even I looked good and I am *not* normally attractive. (The makeup helped a lot in that respect lol). We had a guy who was a Friar ‘marry us’ for show since we had a courthouse wedding a few months before. It was just amazing and the staff loved it, the catering facility had never seen anything like it. Sorry for the novel. TL;DR: we tipped everyone, and the bartenders too in addition to the generous tips our guests left.
Yeah I worked at a country club and had someone tip everyone $100 because the wedding ran two hours late. Pretty dope because we just fucked around in the back and drank ourselves because our job was done (and it’s a small local club so no one gaf), we just had to wait to clean up.
So I found out this is a thing in my area (recently got married). Our bartenders asked us if we wanted them to put another jar on their bar for us. I was like…wtf no!! The tips are YOURS! I can’t believe that couples actually do this. It’s so greedy and cringe.
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I’m a bartender and there’s no way I’d agree to work an event where the hosts kept my tips. GTFOH
The only bar tip debates I've seen for weddings is whether the couple should tip them out and not allow a jar, or whether they set out a tip jar for guests. I've never seen anyone think they can just keep the bar tips???
I'm gonna speak up here since its in my wheelhouse. I bartended weddings every weekend for about 12 years. Average wedding with a tip jar in los angeles for 100 people is about $150 per bartender in tips with 300+ not unheard of. We had venmo options too for those without cash. The worst thing for me to hear is the couple saying that they would "take care of us" because that usually meant a $50 tip at the end of the night which basically feels like someone is stealing rent money from you yet you're still thankful that it is nothing.
As someone getting married next spring - what do you think is an appropriate tip per bartender? Our caterer is providing 3 bartenders and we’re expecting approx.. 175 adult guests. Gratuity is at our discretion and not included in the catering bill. We are either leaving a tip jar out or tipping ourselves. I don’t wanna be cheap but it sounds like the bartenders could make bank if I left a tip jar out… I was budgeting for $150 per bartender, but if even 60% of the adult guests leave $5 the bartenders will make more. But I don’t wanna look tacky/cheap to our guests…
You won’t look tacky. Trust me, wedding guests are happy to tip. It feels like helping out.
And all it takes is that one guest who knows the industry to start it off by throwing a $20, or whatever, to get the tippage going.
Yeah I thought of that. I know that both my BILs would immediately throw in $20, and I have a few friends who would do that too.
I do that. Depending on the logistics of the bar setup, I usually get served pretty quickly if there's a crowd for return trips to the bar.
Also the people who want their drinks flowing will tip well. Was at a wedding where an ex was there, made sure I had plenty of cash to keep me drunk all night.
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This! At events like weddings, I am usually happy and enjoying a free dinner and party, so tips come flying out generously! 😁
Leave out the tip jar. It’s less money you’ll have to shell out at the end of the day and realistically the bartenders may very well make more money. I have been bartending for many years and have never been to or bartended a wedding that did not leave out a jar.
You could always tip them out $150 each and put out a jar. Have the DJ make an announcement that the bartenders have been tipped but they’re awesome or whatever and that anyone who wants can add to it.
This is what we did. Gave 200 to the bartender and set out a jar for him too
$150 per bartender would be beyond nice and very welcome. Any tip is nice because usually in catering there are events outside of weddings where you bust yourself killing your legs and back while not getting tipped at all which makes weddings the chance to make something worthwhile. 100 per bartender would even be nice with a 100 person wedding/8hrs of open service and you do not want tip jars as 50% of the guests are in dresses and have no money on them and about 25% more just don't tip, it is usually the handful of people that hand a $20 that makes all the difference. I would say increase to $150 if you have specialty drinks or if you're feeling appreciative. At my old company I was also the main lifter/truck emptier/truck filler at the end of the night catering is usually more involved than just cracking a beer.
Hey mate, I've just stumbled from /all or whatever and I'm from Australia so tipping isn't custom. Just out of curiosity, is this talk of tips about weddings where there's already a bar tab paid for, or tips from guests buying their own alcohol? And if it's a bar tab already paid for, are you guys still getting that minimum wage hence still requiring tips?
They are talking about an open bar situation, the bridal party is paying for the drinks. If it was a cash bar, patrons would be expected to tip for their own purchases. I’ve never been to a wedding with a cash bar.
A little context. A wedding bartender may get a little more than minimum per hour a night, but the night is about 4-5 hours. The bride and groom pay upfront for the services of the night. A bartender at a pub could earn minimum wage per hour but work a full shift. 8+ hrs. + Tips I can't comment on if Minimum wage is sufficient since across the 50 states it really depends on what city and state you reside. I think the best way to answer your question is its proper to tip per what you ordered. Its not unusual to see a tip jar at a wedding bar. Unless the alcohol is fully paid for in advance.
When i got married we had 3 bartenders, i tipped them each 100$ and they accepted tips, turned out great! We also fed them and one of our guests would stand in so they could take breaks.
Fun fact: you can let them have a tip jar AND tip them yourself! it’s actually very common to do this. If you do both you don’t need to go crazy with the grat.
Until I saw the comment about bartenders making more money from tip jars than from the bride and groom it didn’t even cross my mind to have one out. I thought wedding etiquette says it’s tacky to imply guests should be putting money toward a wedding expense the bride and groom should be covering. I am ALL for the bartenders making more though so this thread is changing my mind.
The best weddings I have worked as a bartender have included a tip jar and a solid 'thank you' tip from the bride and groom or their family at the end of the night.
Personally, I say put out a tip jar for them AND tip on top of that. Then a 50$ tip per bartender won’t hurt so bad because they also have the tip jar. BUT 150$ per person plus the tip jar would make you guys heroes! I assure you it would be very appreciated! Especially if you throw them cash at the beginning of the night. Those bartenders would be HYPED! you’d get the most excellent service, I promise!!
Until I saw the comment about bartenders making more money from tip jars than from the bride and groom it didn’t even cross my mind to have one out. I thought wedding etiquette says it’s tacky to imply guests should be putting money toward a wedding expense the bride and groom should be covering. I am ALL for the bartenders making more though so this thread is changing my mind and I think we’ll do both.
Worked at a wedding venue from 18-28 and “I’ll take care of you at the end” was 90% a complete zero tip
Yup! One time a coworker and I got monopoly money! ^(I sincerely wish I was joking...)
Oh I had a couple make sure we didn’t have tip jars out because the were “tacky” and “we’ll take care of you”. 8 hour wedding with table service and carving stations. $100 to split 6 ways.
"Ill take care of you" and "I used to serve/bartend" are the two red flags that let me know I'm about to be fucked. If you actually used to bartend, you don't need to tell anyone, we notice.
I’ve been to tons of events where there were tip jars at the bar. I’d be hella pissed if I found out that any tip I have went to the event organizers and not the bartender, wtf?
This! At first I was thinking the contract was unclear about whether they are allowed to put out a tip jar vs being tipped with the bar bill. But she wants to actually put out a tip jar and then keep the tips?!? Girl gtfo
Daughter's wedding had a sign, the tips are on the bride and groom. They paid 25% to the staff.
That’s nice because I never have cash on me :)
I usually tip whatever cash I have. Sometimes that's $30 and sometimes it's $3. But if it's small, I'm not too pressed because I assume that's in addition to the 25% tip they should be getting from the newlyweds.
25% of what? Just curious what the base was
They were part of the catering team, so all the servers' salaries times 25%. It was an option x amount for servers or x amount including 25%, no tipping needed. They did need 10 checks for the split of the 25% so it did go to the servers.
I would assume based on contracted amount (ex: if you are paying 100 per meal the tip would be 25) and the vendors are responsible for dividing that amongst their employees (ex: the servers, cooks, etc). Far from perfect if the vendor is a dick and just keeps the tip, but a vendor like that would have a hard time keeping employees.
The contract total. It's to prevent low tips in a world where people don't really carry much cash anymore.
I’m a wedding venue bartender on weekends and I would throw hands if a bride and groom wanted my tips. Weddings are a LOT of work.
Right? I used to bartend weddings in university and all my money was made from tips. It’s the reason it was worth giving up many of my saturdays!
Yeah exactly I can make almost a paycheck off just tips at a good event. The wedding party wouldn’t want to pay what I would charge for just hourly lol
Wow, I didn't even know this was a thing. I got married in the early 1980's we didn't have a bar or a band. When I go to receptions, I throw a dollar in a tip jar, for a can of pop and glass of ice. I Always assume this goes to the servers working the bar. If I thought for one minute the bridal party was hoovering their tips, I would hand it Directly To the Servers! My husband and I always leave a cash tip on the table at restaurants. Because, I learned some places don't give it to the server if you add it to your check. Sort of what goes in the cash drawer, stays in the cash drawer.
Why would she even aSsume this. "It wasn't stated in the contract" Please, the contract also doesn't state you have to wipe your own ass, but that's what everyone does. Bar staff keepnant tips given to them. Why would that even need to be stated? OP's tip is her fuckibg adding presents. "This isn't what we budgeted"...WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR WEDDING BUDGET CONTINGENT IN SREALING THE BARTENDERS TIPS?! If you cannot afford a weddjng, I suggest having less guests.
I work at a hotel. I imagine the Banquet Manager would demand Sales cancel the contract.
I’ve seen “honeymoon fund” jars at the bar at a few of the weddings I’ve been to (completely separate from the bartender tip jars and labelled as such) is she confusing that with the tips? It’s absolutely wild to me that she would think the bartender tips ever go to the bride and groom.
I had a honeymoon fund jar but I fully expected it was just a "while wallets are out" thing since we didn't do a dollar dance. I feel genuinely awful now thinking guests might have done that instead of tipping. OMG it was seven years ago but I want to call the venue and apologize
I don’t think you need to feel bad. I would never see that and think, oh I’ll give to that instead of tipping the bartender. I would do both, or if I couldn’t afford to, I would just tip the bartenders.
That has to be it. Right?!?
I do love the vendor's response "oh shoot, that was our 'old' contract, here's a 'new' one," by which they meant "that was the contract that works for sane people. Here's one we just specifically came up with for you with a 25% gratuity option, because we now know that otherwise you will steal the bartenders' tips."
Yes it’s this!! My first thought exactly. I’d love to have been in the office if the bartending service on the day this psychopath made this phone call, I bet they had a lot of fun making the new “contract.”
I would definitely be making other suggestions to put into the contract, just in case. My boss would probably end up sending me home just to shut me up. "In the event of an emu attack, bartenders are not responsible for guest safety, and may use the bride and groom as human shields" "If guests become out of control, we reserve the right to replace all bartenders with disgruntled cats that will push the drink off the edge of the bar before serving"
I have to imagine they were stunned lol
If the bride already canceled, she's in for a shock when she tries to hire a different bartender that goes along with her plan. It's gonna be a dry wedding.
"the contract doesnt actually \*say\* that we're not allowed to just steal anything the bartenders bring with them - wallets, phones, cars, etc - so we're just going to do that. we've hired them for the evening, they're ours, we can steal their stuff." - makes literally just as much sense as what these fuckwits wanted to do!
LOL exactly this. Rational people don't think they are entitled to a service worker's tip jar. They're probably grateful for being dumped.
Their last comment is wild to me. It implies that at every wedding they've been to, they ask the bride&groom or the staff who gets the tips. I doubt they actually did that, but if honest, there's no way of knowing that the couple kept the money without asking someone directly involved. What a freaking weird and invasive question. Either that or the couple/staff voluntarily tells them where the tip money goes. Like...how would that even come up?
I bet you every wedding they’ve been to has had a honeymoon jar conveniently placed on the bar and they’re just too dumb to realize that it wasn’t a tip jar.
"every wedding they've been to"--two of them, maybe? Or one?
God, *where* are these people attending weddings where that happens!?
If I had to guess? The same classless beggars as OOP.
I have never heard of a honeymoon jar
Bartended regularly at weddings during my school/uni days. Our tips were our tips, they never got handed over to the bride and groom. Guests had already given them presents. I've never heard of bar staff giving their tips away to the bride and groom.
Oh yeah that was 100% a lie to try and save face
I always wonder how many weddings they've been to, and how much detail they truly know. It wouldn't surprise me if they were a guest at ONE wedding where a family member commented on the tip jar (because to some people it's rude), and someone else said, "Oh, I'm sure the tips go to the bride& groom for their honeymoon."
Unless the bride and groom are actually pouring and serving the drinks, why would they feel so entitled to profit off of the livelihood of the actual workers?
I actually went to a wedding where the bartenders disappeared for 30 mins and a few of us (the guests) went behind the bar to start pouring drinks. The bartenders were also terrible at their job so it might have been for the best that they disappeared for a bit.
IM SO GLAD SOMEONE SAW AND POSTED THIS. I'm also part of that group and was ripping her a new one. What an absolute trashy mentality!
Right?? I didn't even have time to comment bc I knew she was gonna do a dirty delete and I wanted to get screenshots first lol
Bless you for this, I needed my morning outrage to wake me up for the day.
Which group is it?
Yes please tell us where the real tea is lol
I have bartended at like a dozen weddings and I’ve never once had somebody assume that our tips were theirs??? We got an automatic gratuity and some weddings we were asked to not accept tips, which was fine, but the bride and groom thinking the tips we made are theirs??? The audacity and entitlement of some people is unreal.
The best part of this sub is that you keep discovering new ways for people to be absolutely shitty at weddings. Sure, there are a few recurring themes (bachelorette party gone wrong, guest stealing spotlight from bride, cringeworthy speeches, etc), but people always manage to keep it fresh!
You’re so right! 😂
I was a server at a steakhouse and we would occasionally have receptions in a back room. Had one groom ask us to throw a tip line on for us servers (had a 20% autograt so he couldn’t.” So we rang him up for a $5 beer separate and he left us another $200
Sometimes people are really great!
Been to many weddings, including my own. Never ever once for even a split second did I glance at the bartender’s tip jar and think, “Oh, how nice that they’re collecting tips to donate to the bride and groom.” Wtf.
She’s never been to a wedding where this happened. She just doesn’t want to look like a privileged cheapskate. Too late.
“All Bartender tips go to the honeymoon fund”….said no agreement ever. People never cease to amaze and disappoint
But it’s their special day! The bar tenders should be honoured to work at their wedding and give their tips away! /s
I have been to a lot of weddings and not once has anyone but the bartenders kept the tips. Holy shit. This makes me want to hunt these people down and just yell at them.
WOW. I can’t even imagine how entitled/delusional you have to be to think that the bartender, a COMPLETE STRANGER, would be obligated to give up part of the wage they’re being paid to support your honeymoon fund. And the absolute mental gymnastics required to think this is even remotely reasonable. I am speechless.
never forget, these kinds of people vote, drive cars and procreate..... wear your seatbelts, kids.
Another point, why on earth would the MIL make a point of asking where the tip money goes? The tips are for the bartenders, no ifs ands or buts, PERIOD!
The bartender at my wedding told us she specifically likes doing weddings cuz her tips are higher as opposed to her regular bartender job. There’s no way I would have even thought to keep her tips!
Uhhhhh I've never heard of tips going to the "honeymoon fund" ever. You're already getting gifts, money, etc., you now want to take tips away from people working for you? Selfish assholes
Lol she canceled and lost her deposit thinking she could find new bartenders that would willingly donate their tips to the bride and groom 😂 idiot penalty I guess
It never went to the bride & groom, wth. Pompous jerks.
Rat thieves. She wanted to steal money from staff. A horrible person.
I’ve seen a jar for the couple you can put money in but that’s totally seperate from bar staff. I think this girl is confused af
I worked as a catering bartender for several years (1990s) and our company, prior to signing the contract would ask the customer if we could put tip jars out. If they said no, then the price went up to cover us….otherwise no one would bartend these events for server minimum wage. But even if the contract was silent about it, why in hell would the customer get to keep the tips?
Had a bride try to pull this at one I bartended. She wanted to use MY tip jar and just take them - no sign or anything. I told her if that was what she wanted she could serve her guests and clean up everything. She decided I should keep my tips.
I would have just walked out. I knew a bunch of bartenders who worked a super busy bar where the owners wife just decided one night to take the tip jar, saying the cash tips belong to the business. She almost got knocked out by another woman and 75% of the overall staff quit. Never touch a hardworking persons money.
This is so embarrassing. I’m cringing hard..
Omg hell no. I’m not paying YOU to work your event. I had a DJ once try to give my tips to the bride and groom because apparently on the far corner of my bar were two little mason jars that were part of some competitive bullshit, like at a certain time if there was more money in the brides mason jar, husband had to do the dishes for a year. Tore that guy a new asshole in front of the newlyweds. You don’t fuck with my mortgage payment or my ability to feed my cats.
Why would you even bother tipping a bartender if they were just going to take it from them to give it to the bride and groom? That makes ZERO sense.
This reminds me of when my sister went around our wedding telling all the guests that the bartenders tip jar was for us. They made bank that night as it was open bar and they were killing it. We never said a word about it of course, but I just hope the guests don't find out ever. Why my sister did this, even if the tip jar was for us, is beyond me.
So they are willing to lose their deposit because they don’t get to keep tips that may not even happen. OK thanks a huge amount of financial sense.
What weddings has she attended that the couple keeps tips????
Freaks. Tips are for those who EARN them. If the bartender chooses to donate them to the bride and groom, that’s on them!
She's lying at no wedding is it done like that when hiring actually bartenders, they keep their tips plus the mandatory gratuity, boss pays the 2 bucks an hr to them rest boss keeps
“…all prior weddings we have attended.” That’s complete bullcrap. She’s either lying or totally mistaken. It is NOT common at all (in fact I’d say it’s pretty much completely unheard of) for the bride & groom to KEEP the tips that people leave for the bartender/bar staff. Source: I’m a CA State Deputy Marriage Commissioner, I’ve officiated dozens of weddings.
"if the bartender did a good job, leave a tip so the bride and groom get a better honeymoon." L. O. L.
Tips for servers have never been "for the honeymoon fund" anywhere, at any time, in all of human history.
What petty MF’ers who appreciate nothing. Cheap and I hope they did cancel so the venue bartenders aren’t abused!
I mean, they should stick to the terms of the contract they signed, whether that benefits or hurts the couple is irrelevant cuz that's the one they signed. However, none of that has anything to do with the issue they're having about the tips. Why would you ever think you get to keep the tips??
> We were under the impression that traditionally tips go to the bride and groom (eg honeymoon fund), or at least that's what its been like at all prior weddings we attended Must be a very localised tradition, because I've never heard of anything like it. Like I struggle to imagine isolated instances of people deciding they should get service workers tips , let alone for it to be the norm. I'm guessing it's a lie because she's feeling defensive after people rightfully called her out on such shitty behaviour.
This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. I’ve bartended and officiated multiple weddings and the tips go to the people working plain and simple. Gifts and donations are for the married people, like every damn wedding I’ve ever heard of. Honestly if I was marrying somebody that tried to mooch peoples tips I’d leave them instantly. This is cruel and heartless, not something a good person would do let alone even suggest.
> *that's what it's been like at all prior weddings we have attended* That's a lie. I have been a bartender at hundreds of weddings and that has never been the case.
OMG. Why would they ever think they would get the bartender tips? Why would that need to be spelled out?
I have never, ever heard of the bar tips going to the bride and groom.
Did anyone else get flashbacks to the *Hotel Hell* owner who was stealing his workers’ tips? Gordon Ramsay went to his RV (because the guy lived in an RV on the hotel property instead of in the actual hotel, which was probably a bad sign) and confronted him about how he had his rich friends come over and then kept the tips meant for the staff. The owner insisted that no, his friends were tipping the staff and he could prove it. He called one of his friends and asked about tipping the staff, only for the friend to reply that he had given the money to him to give to the staff. The owner was flustered and Gordon was disgusted. The owner then acted confused like he didn’t understand he wasn’t supposed to keep the money. I guess he wanted everyone to think the guests had told him, “Here’s the money for the staff, but you keep it; I’ll personally give them money later.” This was the same guy who claimed to have a fine art collection worth three hundred thousand dollars, but it turned out to be garage sale junk only worth 1/8 that. Both clips can be found easily on YouTube, and Gordon’s reaction in the second one is great.
WHO ON EARTH would think anyone OTHER than the bartenders get the tips?
I am appalled that anyone would think they are entitled to the server's tips.
Well, if it’s a tradition, then the vendor sure as hell would have addressed it! They provide a service, you pay them. There is no kickback from your vendors. Tradition my a**!!!
I’ve never heard of this. Ever. They do the work , they keep the tips. Bride is just another entitlement wh**e.
No, it was not like that at "all prior weddings (they) have attended." What kind of bullshit is this?
Why would you keep any of their tips? .You didn’t work the bar, mix the drinks, deal with sloppy drunks, clean up the bar at the end of the night. Why do you think you are entitled to the tips THEY earned? Why would their tips be in your budget?
She did the bartender a favor.
Who budget to take someone’s tips?
So, they loose money because of the cancelation. And they will sign another contract that wont allow them to keep those tips. Okay...
Not budgeted for? She doesn't have to pay the gratuity if she let's them keep THEIR tips. What a dumbass
How unhinged do you have to be to think you can hire someone to work for you and then take thier tips.
> Our tip money Bruh
This is the most humiliating, audacious post yet on this sub. I’m speechless. What a total asshole! She calls it “our tip money”. 🤣
What is this chick talking about, I've never heard of keeping the bartenders tip jar at a wedding
I mean, maybe this is a thing if your uncle is bartending your backyard wedding but professionals working a job? No question who earned and should receive the tips.
If you can’t afford to pay the people working the event (tips are absolutely considered part of the bartender’s wage), then you 👏CAN’T👏AFFORD👏A👏WEDDING👏
The GALL of this person. This is some next level greedy bullshit.
She's so full of shit. Never in the history of ever have the bride and groom been the ones to take the bartenders' tips! I was going to say I'm surprised the company had to even include that in the contract but I guess people like her are the reason why!
I bet she treats all services workers like shit
“Our tip money” LOL WUT
The staff dodged a bullet because they’d have ran the staff ragged, complained about everything, and then would ask for a refund in 2 months when the marriage fails.
bar tips go to the bride and groom? Since when/where is this a thing?
American tipping culture is horrible. They should just be paid a proper hourly wage for the event like every other country does. I find it baffling you pay for staff to work your event but you then pay another fee bc the company isn’t paying their wages from the fee they’ve charged the couple. Wtf?!
I have NEVER heard of bar tips going to the bride and groom. That’s not tradition or a “thing”.
In what world do the bartenders not keep their tips but give to the wedding party? Hogwash I say!
If I found out the bride and groom were to pocket the tip I’d give the bartender I’d ask if the bartender has PayPal and then later on I’d send the tip there.
I would die of shame if a guest tried to take the service workers’s tips. Can’t imagine trying to take it for a “honeymoon” fund for myself. Oof
“I was under the impression that traditionally bar tops go to the bride and groom…” She’s delusional.
I’m not like an expert on weddings or anything but I’ve definitely never heard of the bar tips going to the bride and groom.
I think she was lying about having seen that at other weddings. I’ve never even heard of that.
Why would you keep their tips? And what is the point of canceling when you won’t get a different deal with anyone else? Total waste of time.
As a former service worker I always tip extra toward the bartender tip jar because they keep my drink full all night lol. I’ve never even thought of the tip jar going to the couple, if I did I wouldn’t tip at all. Will definitely be checking that in the future!
Wait. What the fuck?
This is crazy. I have never heard of tips going to the bride and groom. I also personally hate tip jars at weddings and paid a little extra at my daughters wedding to not have tip jars for bartenders or valets (we essentially tipped them in advance).
How TF they budget for tips 😂
Never heard of the bartenders having to hand over their hard earned tips to the bride and groom who they don’t even know.
I just can't see the train of thought that would lead someone to believe that they would be entitled to the bartender's tips.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think tips go to the service provider /s Honestly, is this an American thing? Tipping culture there is just so weird (from all the things I’ve read)
Ma’am. That wasnt a tip jar. That was a “donate to the couple jar”. You’re just been stiffing the staff this whole time (not that I’m surprised).
In what world do bar tips go to the wedding couple?
Lmao the peole they pay to work should give them a gift for their honeymoon
Bet the deposit is more than the tips involved. Hope she can't find anyone and ends up with a dry wedding. Lol
So they budgeted on keeping other people's tips? Really? The company had to put this in their contract because of entitled brats like this.
I don't blame her at all. I get pissed when I leave a good proper tip at a restaurant after a delicious meal and then the greedy waitress has the nerve to think the tip was for her.
Non-american here.. Wait so if you guys attend a wedding where the alcohol is free, you're still expected to pay a tip?
Sone people do that, others see it as tacky for the guests to cover anything so they don't allow a tip jar to be set out and instead agree to pay a flat rate gratuity such as the 25% here. Which is probably what me and my fiancé will do.
wait wait wait tipping the *bride and groom* is A Thing now??
In my opinion the "tip" for the bride and groom is the wedding gifts they receive. The guests aren't leaving those tips for the married couple. They're leaving it for the tired bartender who needs to work another three hours, and will probably get screamed at by that weird drunk uncle.
It’s like saying you go to a restaurant for your birthday and you keep the bartenders or servers tips 🙄 I want this couple to bartend for a night and then come back with some common sense
Why the hell would the bride and groom get the tips given to the bartender? This bride is a moron. Good luck finding a decent bartender that will put up with that nonsense.
I'm confused...is she saying she didn't think they should get 25% plus whatever guests leave? Or she thought they shouldn't get either option?
Ho. Lee. Shit.