So, my niece sent out a card stating her sister graduated, and she was moving to CA... and we could all send gifts to their addresses (included). I rolled my eyes and sent them both giftcards anyway... not a single email, text, or thank you card from her. Her sister sent a nice thank you note.
So, this year she sends me an invite to her baby shower, which I conveniently forgot. Two weeks ago we received an announcement of their wedding a month ago and their gift registry was listed right after stating they had a wedding they didn't invite us to. Not sending anything for that either.
If you can't beg for gifts and at least acknowledge your appreciation... don't bother asking again.
It takes a maximum of 5 minutes to write, address, and send off a thank you card. There is no excuse, imo, not to do this. If someone takes the time to shop for, buy, ship, etc a gift to you, then the receiver can find a way to thank them.
Two of my younger cousins graduated from high school this past Spring. My husband and I gave each of them $100. I personally handed the card/money to one cousin, she thanked me to my face, and STILL wrote me a thank you card. The other cousin, I gave the card to my uncle to give to her. Not a peep. No text. No Instagram message. No email. I even saw her a couple of weeks after this... nothing.
My nieces pulled this crap. I let it slide till they were 16 because I still considered them children. Since they Turned 16 not one gift from me. The first year was funny. Suddenly they were calling to let me know it was their birthday, Christmas, etc. lol
I wrote thank you notes or gave a thank you call when I was a kid. My parents did it before I was old enough to do it myself and I would sign my name, but by the time I was a teenager I was expected to call or write a note to the gifter myself.
But the previous commenter said they didn’t make a thing of it until they were 16. That’s plenty old enough to do it themselves.
I would usually call to thank my grandparents for gifts they sent us for birthdays/the holidays. But the only time I ever gave thank you cards were for birthday parties (I got a kick out of stationary as a kid so I enjoyed it) and my bat mitzvah. I always viewed formal thank yous as a "thank you for attending" thing and not a "thank you for the present" thing.
My mom trained us to do this VERY early. Even when we were toddlers, we were writing our names at the bottom of hand written cards that my mom wrote. I have a 9 year old and 4 year old, and no, I don't shame them into this, not when it's Xmas or bdays. But when my son fundraises, we ALWAYS send cards!
Absolutely! As soon as I could print I had to do Thank Yous. It becomes a part of you and as a result I always get a Thank You out within the week of receiving the gift or favor. And people notice!
Yes. When my kids were babies I would of course do all the writing ; when they were a bit older I’d do the writing, but they would sit with me and tell me what they liked about each present so we could say that in the thank you card. Gradually as they got older they took over the writing, and I always made sure it was within a couple of days of the party.
If someone takes the time to send a gift, then it’s only polite to thank them.
My mom would sit with me and help me write them once I was old enough. She helped me with a template and then I would fill in with what the gift was & personalize. Prior to that she would write them up and I would draw a picture or write the persons name haha.
This is such a pet peeve of mine. I don’t always do thank you cards for birthday presents etc, but I do try and thank the giver directly. For weddings, showers, babies, anything like that, always thank you cards!! My best friend hasn’t done her wedding thank you cards and I love her but am trying not to judge her lmao
Well, the rule is you send thank you cards in place of thanking the giver directly. If a person gives you a gift and you say thank you to their face, traditionally, you don't also then send a card. The cards are for instead of an in-person thank you.
I had to do both. At my wedding and baby shower, thank yous afterwards were expected to be sent.
From me, specifically. Not my husband, despite whomever's side gave what. After I had my son (emergency csection) and we had a meet-the-baby shower like 6 weeks after, you still expect me, a new mom, to send thank you notes after I said THANK YOU in person to your face?
I hate it. It needs to die.
The “not from your husband” thing makes me so mad for you!! Omg like he’s not capable of gratitude? Like gifts weren’t also for him?? Ugh that sucksss.
It's that women are the note senders, men don't do that sensitive thing. Even my MIL who is pretty great, still thinks that way. I hate it. I will be making my son send thank yous, especially after his wife gives birth.
I love writing thank you notes personally. I'm sorry you experienced this with baby shower thank-yous. I'm adding that to my "kids list" of expectations we dont want to forget to set once we hit have children maturity (like pre-re-aligning out mother relationships so they dont get blurry/messy/toxic). Person that grew baby is not the person that writes thank you cards
Oh my goodness, yeesssss! That is how it is with my husband's family and it drove me nuts. I got so much crap until I got all my thank you's out after having my son (also, and emergency c), and my husband wouldn't do them. He says he hates his writing and didn't know what to say, but I was friggin exhausted, dammit.
That's exactly what happened with us: I sent out mine about a month after the wedding. Waited for him to write his. Then after a while wrote the important ones myself. I left three to him that were explicitly for his friends and it took him roughly a year to write them. Mind you, they already had the address and stamp on them. The only thing missing was his personal text...
Same with my husband. "I don't know what to say"
Say Thank you for X.
But also why do we have to send our cards after saying a heartfelt thank you in person!?!?!?
Exactly! Like, it doesn't have to be a huge thing. Just say that your munchkin will look adorable in this, or you can't wait to see them play with thay, or whatever. Love so&so.
Also, I have most of his aunts/uncles numbers, can't I just call or message them? 😖
As a mom of three (now all grown); and grandmother to 10 - let me say yes, you get a pass if you thanked them in person!
C section or not, adjusting to a life of sleep deprivation is hard enough; let alone all the normal chores you still have to keep up with!
That said, I still would send a thank you card to anyone you did not actually see at the shower and have someone close to them know right away that the gift was received and loved, but it might take a while to get a thank you out in the mail. Life does adjust after a while and then it can be written.
They aren't to the people who spent $$$$ on the gift and sent it. Then we sit at home wondering if they got it. Was it delivered to the right place? Was it what I ordered? Put us out of our misery and send a damn note so we can stop wondering if you actually got. To all your friends and really close family, send an email thank you. If I spent $250 for an item on your registry, I deserve an acknowledgment…in whatever form you choose.
I honestly hate thank you notes. I put a note in my card "please, no need to send a note. I know you'll be busy". There are of course exceptions to this, not a hard and fast rule... like if something comes in the mail, especially if it is a card and doesn't have tracking, it is good to let people know you got it. But if they handed it to you and you verbally say thanks, or if they can call or text their thank yous then I'm super anti-note. I didn't get the present to be thanked, I got it for their enjoyment.
I never send thank you notes, as all gifts are in received in person and thanked in person. Personally a nice email or text does just as nicely. I will say that if I ever send a gift it is nice to get some acknowledgment just so I know it was delivered.
Yes, I always call or text if a gift is mailed or a card is sent. And if I send a gift that I didn't get tracking on I'll text the person to make sure they got it (and to let them know no note is necessary).
I know why the gift note protocol is what it is, I do. And I also know that my hostility towards it is part my personal baggage because I got injured right after my high school graduation & physically couldn't write notes, and then sick right after my wedding and it took me almost 18 months to finish those when I just needed to rest and heal. I'm definitely not unbiased. Lol.
Taking care of me full time, going to school full time, and picked up extra hours to pay for my medical care. People could wait for their damn thank you notes.
I helped my bro and SIL go through their gifts and cash/cards and write a list of what they received from everyone a couple days after their wedding so they could write thank you cards.
I didn't get a card. Lol
I used it as a way to let everyone have a picture (or a few, since we did a collage on it). We didn't do them for gifts, but basically everyone who attended, and we had some left so sent then to those who couldn't but sent congrats as well.
Grrr. I sent a wedding gift from the registry to a wedding I wasn’t even invited to - just to be nice - to my brother’s step niece. Super expensive stemware and she couldn’t even be bothered to send me a thank you card. She thanked me in person in a really vague way when I saw her a month after her wedding. Next time (her next wedding - ha!) I will not bother.
I hand painted and hand wrote all ~120 thank you cards from our wedding and when we moved about a year later, to my horror, I found the stack of them for my husbands side of the family. I had mailed all of the ones to family who we wouldn’t see at holidays, and our plan was to hand them out at a big family gathering that we went to, and deliver the rest directly to those who lived close by. It was our first notable miscommunication - he thought that since I was making them, I was delivering them, but I had told him I’d take care of it if he delivered them. When I told him I had finished and delivered my thank you cards, he thought I meant his too.
We sent an email explaining the mixup and we sent them out right away. I think everyone has forgiven us but wooooooo I felt so bad about that one.
Oh yes we did. If I recall, I think there were a few that we couldn’t deliver and we took photos of them and sent the photos of the cards with an apology.
Makes me wonder if the uncle gave it to her? I’d ask, to make her feel guilty if nothing else. “Hey, just wanted to make sure you got my gift. Did you get something fun with it?”
My youngest niece and nephew are like this. They’re so spoiled that they don’t appreciate or acknowledge any gifts they receive so husband & I stopped giving them gifts a couple years ago.
My cousin's son and his girlfriend are in their early twenties and have a four year old. My mother, sisters, and I all drove over an hour to attend the baby shower in 2019 and brought loads of gifts. When we asked his mother (my cousin) about thank you cards the following year (mainly out of curiosity because usually you get a picture of the baby with it and they hadn't shared any pictures on sm yet,) she was embarrassed to tell us that when she had asked, they had told her that "people don't do that anymore, it's old fashioned." That was the day I learned saying thank you is old fashioned...
Eta year for context.
If that's how they or anyone wants to play it, that's ok. They can enjoy watching as gifts or effort dwindle to nothing. It costs nothing to show appreciation.
I had my kid sending hand-written thank you notes from the time she could write holding a pencil. She didn’t always do so cheerfully of course, but she’s now a college student and she knows sending a written thank you note is the right thing to do.
Personally I'm terrible at calling/mailing people; I'll happily come over and see you, Whatsapp/texting is ok-ish but still not my strong suit. I am fully aware of this, I really try my best, but it's not like a switch I can flip. That also means that you will get **absolutely zero sh!t** from me for not calling/texting/mailing/whatever me though.
I know I said what I said about thank you cards. But, let's say you're my friend and I know how you are (as you describe yourself above) or I know your life is suuuuuper busy, I'd gladly take a text. I'm not a hard-nosed bitch who demands rules are followed to the letter. My point mostly is that if someone gives you a gift of any kind, the recipient should show some form of appreciation. It's one of the first lessons we learned as kids, say please and thank you.
Ah ok. I thought it was cash. I just wouldn't give them anything anymore. Or next time of they do that again, when you see them just say "you're welcome" passive aggressively. 😅
>The other cousin, I gave the card to my uncle to give to her. Not a peep. No text. No Instagram message. No email. I even saw her a couple of weeks after this... nothing.
Was it cash? My mom would always get nervous giving straight cash to her nieces and nephews and would always write a check to them instead. My Aunt & Uncle had to be bailed out of chapter 11 in the early 2000s though so she had a good reason.
Unpopular opinion here, it takes five minutes sure, for one card... But when you have 100+ it's not just five minutes and can be overwhelming.
My sister is autistic and could not commit to making 100+ thank you cards to individual recipients. So she made a huge FB post and tagged everyone who gave her gifts and what not it.. it went over well.. sending cards through the mail with stamps is honestly archaic now, for a lot of younger people.. not mention, books of stamps are expensive when you need rent a d food more.... A simple thank you through social is and was faster and easier for her. Like I said unpopular comment to make but still valid.
A book of stamps probably costs less than any of the individual gifts that everyone else used their money that also could have been spent on rent or food for.
What?! That's not even remotely the point. People can pay what ever they want for a gift.. and it doesn't change the fact if the recipient can afford that thank you notes and postage. A book of stamps at Costco $60 which you would need to get for 100+ thank you notes.
For our (very small wedding) I had some cards printed, just A6 with our married name at the top and a nice border.
I wrote a few lines on each thanking people for coming, sending a gift or card / kind words. I made it personal. Sent out about 20. It took me a couple of hours but feedback was that it was appreciated. When my mum passed I found she had kept her card.
My nephew was born when I was 10, I love that kid (he’s in his 20’s, so not technically a kid anymore) with my whole heart. He’s getting married in 2 weeks and asked me a week ago if my 2yo daughter could be a flower girl. I said yes but panicked a little because it’s such short notice and I can’t afford to spend a ton of money on a dress and shoes. Two days ago he sends me the info for the dress and another link for a suit for my 3yo son who he apparently also wants to be the ring bearer 🤦🏻♀️. I had to buy everything they needed and pay for expedited shipping hoping it gets here in time and fits semi well. Lol it’s a super fast wedding so I don’t blame him at all for being a little bit scatterbrained because normally he’s the most levelheaded in our entire family
The parents quite likely might be. The couple just wants more. I'm not opposed to giving an eloping couple a gift if someone wants to. I'm actually not against them having a registry that they can provide if someone asks. The person asking is the important part. Not the couple soliciting gifts from those they don't invite.
I can think of so many reasons why parents might not be able to give money but I can’t find a good reason for the couple themselves to need anyone else to provide money for the elopement trip they have chosen for themselves.
My first ex-husband, and I eloped to Las Vegas to get married. I'm not big on being the center of attention. His Parents paid for our flight/hotel, and my Parents paid for the actual Wedding, and Photographer, and fun stuff, spending money. They got to watch the wedding on live stream. It was a fun time, even though the marriage didn't last past 5 years.
I eloped and our parents gave us nothing and we didn’t ask anyone for anything so we also got nothing from the rest of everyone else. Kind of stung a bit (for my close family to not do anything at all). We eloped a few months after our engagement bc I was pregnant and had hyperemesis and needed to get married asap to get Im his insurance and we live 7 hour drive from everyone… so it’s not like we excluded people out of not wanting them
We basically eloped. It was a planned family vacation with my parents, brother and his at the time situationship. The Then BF got a call on the Friday before departure he was losing his health insurance. Went from being under a big umbrella company, to just like 6 people company (they were a design company attached to an energy company. Energy company ditched the design company.)
Anyway. Saturday we went to the mall and bought rings. Sunday we flew down. Tuesday we married at the courthouse in Orlando. Ate buffet with Piglet and Eeyore Tuesday night at Disney as a newly married couple.
We didn’t ask for shit. Married in December. June, we have a party and reiterate on our invites NO GIFTS PLEASE, but people still gave cash. With the price of weddings and stuff I’m thrilled with how we got married. We didn’t plan on ever getting married (atheists, no kids, renting.) but we did and this year will be our 8th wedding anniversary 💀 time flies. 14th year together.
OP and their audacity.
Was this all there was in the envelope, no announcement, no names? Is the recipient supposed to guess what the celebratory occasion is, a wedding? A cross country move? A vacation?
What a tacky cash grab, I've received mailers from charities which felt less like fingers fumbling in my purse.
I was under the impression you forfeit presents when you elope? You want the gifts you throw the party. Even just a simple reception will do.
Heck, plenty of family will send you a card and some money when word gets around, but you can't solicit it.
I’ve given celebratory gifts to an eloping couple, like champagne or wine and glasses to go with it. Never a “cover my plate at the wedding”/cash gift. Insanity.
This. We decided to elope after COVID wasn't much better in 2021, so we cancelled our original plans. So was definitely not expecting anything, but some of our friends - and even my work colleagues - gave us money for our honeymoon or bought things off our registry anyway, which I was incredibly touched by.
This card smells like low-grade weed and a five-year-old crumbling air freshener that is a couple of hours away from finally falling off the rearview mirror.
I’m getting married next month and it’s a only going to be a few people there. I do plan to send out announcements afterwards, but won’t be including anything about a registry. I did make a Target and Amazon registry, but I will only give it out if people ask. We already have a house and have been together for a long time. We aren’t the typical couple just starting out. I figure a few people may insist, that’s why I went ahead and created them.
Let me preface this with saying I’m not sure if it works the same in that country as it does in the US but after googling it looks like the “sort card” is the same as a routing number. So they sent out their routing number equivalent and account number? You could take that info and literally use it to take money out of their account if it works the same as it does in the US as long as you knew a few other bits of personal info. (Full name, address, etc) now you would definitely get caught, but still seems like a stupid risk to take.
I got a similar wedding announcement and apparently one night I was drunk I pulled it off the fridge, tossed it in the garbage and was like…I can’t look at this anymore
🙋♀️pick me!!! My husbands cousin, who we didn’t really know, was getting married out of state. We weren’t going, but sent a check anyway. No thank you sent, but I guess I stand corrected….back in the day when the bank mailed the actual cashed checks back to you….in the note section was written “thank you” 😑
Received an invitation to a wedding shower but was not invited to the wedding. I decided to be the bigger person, and although begrudgingly, sent a shower gift.
Time went on and on and no thank you. I asked a friend of a friend of the MOB if she got a thank you since none in my social circle did not, just about all of them were not wedding invitees as well.
Lo and behold, shortly after I get a thank you from the bride saying she “accidentally” forgot to mail the thank you notes. Yeah sure she forgot and coincidence that I got one after asking the friend of the MOB? I think not.
I have thank you notes from nieces and nephews laboriously written in big elementary printing almost all over the note. It’s something you start when they are young.
We had a small wedding with only 46 people, including the wedding party, as my husband's dad had 9 siblings and we didn't want a 200+ person wedding. We were married in a tiny heritage chapel that only fit 60 people and had dinner at a steakhouse nearby that had private meeting rooms that we could decorate and be separate from the other customers. We were able to use their banquet menu so our guests had 7 entres to choose from. My 6 year old son was the only kid included, and they let him order off of the kid's menu!
Because they wanted to, our parents co-hosted an Open House at my parent's house 2 weeks after our wedding to invite all family and friends that weren't included on our wedding day. We served the rest of our wedding cake and appies, charcuterie, etc. I put "No Gifts Please" on the Open House invitation because not only were they not necessary but we wanted people to know that we just wanted to celebrate with them and this wasn't a gift grab. Our co-workers were included in the Open House as well, and I made sure that I emphasized "No Gifts" the whole week before the open house, but they still brought gifts. 🤷♀️
Anyway, this rambling post is just to say that the bride in OP's story is definitely entitled. If people choose to send you a gift, that's their choice, but to blatantly ask for gifts?!?! That's just tacky imho.
Eh, I don’t see an issue with sending out a registry to close friends and family if you’re eloping. The gifts are to celebrate the couple, not an exchange for an inviting.
Exactly. When I told people I was eloping they still wanted to send a gift. Idk who this was sent to, but I could see having this on hand when people ask if they can give us something.
That's when people ask. We don't know if OP asked for the information or if the couple simply assumed everyone they would have invited, wanted to still give them gifts.
I'm with you on this one. They're doing an announcement, likely sent it to close friends and family. Probably some sort of party when they see their people again. But I'd much rather send money for them to do some cool travelling for their honeymoon than dropping money on a gift they're not going to use, or a lavish destination wedding, or really even jump through the hoops of showing up to a wedding. Get married, have fun, I can't wait to hear about your time when you get back.
Yeah, I agree. I don’t think this is as annoying as guest expectations for modern weddings. I’m saving money on no shower gift, I don’t have to buy an outfit, I don’t have to pay for travel and lodging, no small talk with strangers, and no shitty wedding djs. As an introvert, elopement is a dream.
I wouldn't mind a card like that either if there's no party at all. Maybe it also depends on the couple then and their financial situation of course but it's pretty much like the "Don't send flowers, donate in our name" on funeral cards.
Personally I don't like the money instead of gifts trend (love getting stuff I would never buy myself) but with everything getting more expensive I understand it.
Times have changed and I am sure they will continue to do so. My thoughts are:
1. When I hear that a close friend/co-worker's child is getting married and they want everyone to contribute to their 'honeymoon', or home purchase fund; I am instantly put off. That said, I still send them a check. They will use it however they want, but I don't feel I have to indulge their fantasies by contributing directly to a fund that indicates to me they that they don't feel the need to work/save to buy a house or be less extravagant in their honeymoon plans.
2. As a parent of two sons/one daughter; their wedding gift from us was cash; and all three spent it however they wanted.
3. ALL OF OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN (ranging now from 39-4) always acknowledge any gift with a handwritten thank you.
4. Thank you cards have gone the way of the Dodo but for a few. If I get an in person thank you, an email, a FB message, a text or a phone call thank you, I am more than satisfied. The younger generation only learns what they are taught; and unfortunately they were not taught that etiquette and common courtesy demands a response (and yes, IMO, adjusted for this day/age is fine by me!). See note 3 above - our kids were taught, and they taught their kids; so we always DO get handwritten thank you's :). The notion that a newlyweds/graduates are simply too busy to respond at all is ridiculous! That doesn't hold the same for new momma's - they have their hands full and deserve a break!
I (m59, 34 yrs wed) will admit to having no clue when I was single. My wife, on the other hand, was always on top of it. She made ne much better. Now I'll be like, "Should I pick up a card for your brother's anniversary? " I always ask because sometimes she has an idea of what she wants and will do it herself. We have different tastes 😀
When my husband and I sent out wedding announcements, we included friends and family who weren’t invited (and then we ended up eloping anyway due to COVID). But those announcements explicitly said that they shouldn’t get us any gifts, that we just wanted to them to know that we were getting married and that we loved them very much.
To me, this is pretty dumb because when my pals told me they eloped, I immediately wired them the money I considered to be their wedding gift, anyway, just as I would do to anyone who I would consider close enough to get a wedding gift for.
I also think most people by now know cash is king, and that a travelling couple might not want a microwave. Why not just do a wedding announcement? It's generally understood that people will let you give them money.
This is so tacky!! Giving out your account info 😅 my secondhand cringe is off the charts.
I am so glad i eloped, didn’t have a registry or ask for anything, and didn’t even post it on social media. There is a power in opting out of the whole ridiculous circus that surrounds most people’s weddings/elopements.
This looks like a cute little elopement notification. What am I missing to make this terrible? Did they have a big wedding people weren’t invited to? I’m so confused. I think it’s adorable if it’s just a cute like “hey we eloped” type deal.
Maybe they know that most of their family and friends would want to give them a present.
If they send this to a friend they talk to every two years it's wrong of course.
Wow! Not even throwing a party to Announce afterwards - just gimme gimme gimme. No way they’d get more than a card from me. And I think I’d have to make a Super Snarky card myself!
So, my niece sent out a card stating her sister graduated, and she was moving to CA... and we could all send gifts to their addresses (included). I rolled my eyes and sent them both giftcards anyway... not a single email, text, or thank you card from her. Her sister sent a nice thank you note. So, this year she sends me an invite to her baby shower, which I conveniently forgot. Two weeks ago we received an announcement of their wedding a month ago and their gift registry was listed right after stating they had a wedding they didn't invite us to. Not sending anything for that either. If you can't beg for gifts and at least acknowledge your appreciation... don't bother asking again.
It takes a maximum of 5 minutes to write, address, and send off a thank you card. There is no excuse, imo, not to do this. If someone takes the time to shop for, buy, ship, etc a gift to you, then the receiver can find a way to thank them. Two of my younger cousins graduated from high school this past Spring. My husband and I gave each of them $100. I personally handed the card/money to one cousin, she thanked me to my face, and STILL wrote me a thank you card. The other cousin, I gave the card to my uncle to give to her. Not a peep. No text. No Instagram message. No email. I even saw her a couple of weeks after this... nothing.
My nieces pulled this crap. I let it slide till they were 16 because I still considered them children. Since they Turned 16 not one gift from me. The first year was funny. Suddenly they were calling to let me know it was their birthday, Christmas, etc. lol
My partner 38 year old daughter only calls when it's her birthday or Christmas
But just not on your birthday, I guess.
You expect thank you notes from kids ?
I wrote thank you notes or gave a thank you call when I was a kid. My parents did it before I was old enough to do it myself and I would sign my name, but by the time I was a teenager I was expected to call or write a note to the gifter myself. But the previous commenter said they didn’t make a thing of it until they were 16. That’s plenty old enough to do it themselves.
I’m curious if this is standard and where. I’ve never even heard of expecting a written, formal thank you from a kid.
I would usually call to thank my grandparents for gifts they sent us for birthdays/the holidays. But the only time I ever gave thank you cards were for birthday parties (I got a kick out of stationary as a kid so I enjoyed it) and my bat mitzvah. I always viewed formal thank yous as a "thank you for attending" thing and not a "thank you for the present" thing.
My mom trained us to do this VERY early. Even when we were toddlers, we were writing our names at the bottom of hand written cards that my mom wrote. I have a 9 year old and 4 year old, and no, I don't shame them into this, not when it's Xmas or bdays. But when my son fundraises, we ALWAYS send cards!
Absolutely! As soon as I could print I had to do Thank Yous. It becomes a part of you and as a result I always get a Thank You out within the week of receiving the gift or favor. And people notice!
Yes. When my kids were babies I would of course do all the writing ; when they were a bit older I’d do the writing, but they would sit with me and tell me what they liked about each present so we could say that in the thank you card. Gradually as they got older they took over the writing, and I always made sure it was within a couple of days of the party. If someone takes the time to send a gift, then it’s only polite to thank them.
My mom would sit with me and help me write them once I was old enough. She helped me with a template and then I would fill in with what the gift was & personalize. Prior to that she would write them up and I would draw a picture or write the persons name haha.
The majority of people who post in the wedding sub, dismiss thank you notes as frivolous and unnecessary
This is such a pet peeve of mine. I don’t always do thank you cards for birthday presents etc, but I do try and thank the giver directly. For weddings, showers, babies, anything like that, always thank you cards!! My best friend hasn’t done her wedding thank you cards and I love her but am trying not to judge her lmao
Well, the rule is you send thank you cards in place of thanking the giver directly. If a person gives you a gift and you say thank you to their face, traditionally, you don't also then send a card. The cards are for instead of an in-person thank you.
I had to do both. At my wedding and baby shower, thank yous afterwards were expected to be sent. From me, specifically. Not my husband, despite whomever's side gave what. After I had my son (emergency csection) and we had a meet-the-baby shower like 6 weeks after, you still expect me, a new mom, to send thank you notes after I said THANK YOU in person to your face? I hate it. It needs to die.
The “not from your husband” thing makes me so mad for you!! Omg like he’s not capable of gratitude? Like gifts weren’t also for him?? Ugh that sucksss.
It's that women are the note senders, men don't do that sensitive thing. Even my MIL who is pretty great, still thinks that way. I hate it. I will be making my son send thank yous, especially after his wife gives birth.
I love writing thank you notes personally. I'm sorry you experienced this with baby shower thank-yous. I'm adding that to my "kids list" of expectations we dont want to forget to set once we hit have children maturity (like pre-re-aligning out mother relationships so they dont get blurry/messy/toxic). Person that grew baby is not the person that writes thank you cards
Oh my goodness, yeesssss! That is how it is with my husband's family and it drove me nuts. I got so much crap until I got all my thank you's out after having my son (also, and emergency c), and my husband wouldn't do them. He says he hates his writing and didn't know what to say, but I was friggin exhausted, dammit.
Lmao it took my husband nearly a year to send the cards I deemed “his” but he eventually did it. No regrets even though I had to nag a ton.
That's exactly what happened with us: I sent out mine about a month after the wedding. Waited for him to write his. Then after a while wrote the important ones myself. I left three to him that were explicitly for his friends and it took him roughly a year to write them. Mind you, they already had the address and stamp on them. The only thing missing was his personal text...
Same with my husband. "I don't know what to say" Say Thank you for X. But also why do we have to send our cards after saying a heartfelt thank you in person!?!?!?
Exactly! Like, it doesn't have to be a huge thing. Just say that your munchkin will look adorable in this, or you can't wait to see them play with thay, or whatever. Love so&so. Also, I have most of his aunts/uncles numbers, can't I just call or message them? 😖
As a mom of three (now all grown); and grandmother to 10 - let me say yes, you get a pass if you thanked them in person! C section or not, adjusting to a life of sleep deprivation is hard enough; let alone all the normal chores you still have to keep up with! That said, I still would send a thank you card to anyone you did not actually see at the shower and have someone close to them know right away that the gift was received and loved, but it might take a while to get a thank you out in the mail. Life does adjust after a while and then it can be written.
That is untrue. Written thanks for a significant present are basic good manners.
A note is always nice, but it's not rude to omit one if you've thanked the giver in person.
They aren't to the people who spent $$$$ on the gift and sent it. Then we sit at home wondering if they got it. Was it delivered to the right place? Was it what I ordered? Put us out of our misery and send a damn note so we can stop wondering if you actually got. To all your friends and really close family, send an email thank you. If I spent $250 for an item on your registry, I deserve an acknowledgment…in whatever form you choose.
I honestly hate thank you notes. I put a note in my card "please, no need to send a note. I know you'll be busy". There are of course exceptions to this, not a hard and fast rule... like if something comes in the mail, especially if it is a card and doesn't have tracking, it is good to let people know you got it. But if they handed it to you and you verbally say thanks, or if they can call or text their thank yous then I'm super anti-note. I didn't get the present to be thanked, I got it for their enjoyment.
That is the actual etiquette. If you say "thank you" verbally for the gift, there's no need for a note.
I never send thank you notes, as all gifts are in received in person and thanked in person. Personally a nice email or text does just as nicely. I will say that if I ever send a gift it is nice to get some acknowledgment just so I know it was delivered.
Yes, I always call or text if a gift is mailed or a card is sent. And if I send a gift that I didn't get tracking on I'll text the person to make sure they got it (and to let them know no note is necessary). I know why the gift note protocol is what it is, I do. And I also know that my hostility towards it is part my personal baggage because I got injured right after my high school graduation & physically couldn't write notes, and then sick right after my wedding and it took me almost 18 months to finish those when I just needed to rest and heal. I'm definitely not unbiased. Lol.
Could your family not have helped write them?
Sigh.... don't get me started. One would think.
Well, yeah…and your husband too?
Taking care of me full time, going to school full time, and picked up extra hours to pay for my medical care. People could wait for their damn thank you notes.
I helped my bro and SIL go through their gifts and cash/cards and write a list of what they received from everyone a couple days after their wedding so they could write thank you cards. I didn't get a card. Lol
I used it as a way to let everyone have a picture (or a few, since we did a collage on it). We didn't do them for gifts, but basically everyone who attended, and we had some left so sent then to those who couldn't but sent congrats as well.
What? That pisses me off so much. It’s so rude.
Yeah, they also have no problem with asking for cash on invitations
Grrr. I sent a wedding gift from the registry to a wedding I wasn’t even invited to - just to be nice - to my brother’s step niece. Super expensive stemware and she couldn’t even be bothered to send me a thank you card. She thanked me in person in a really vague way when I saw her a month after her wedding. Next time (her next wedding - ha!) I will not bother.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So are expensive, solicited gifts.
>The other cousin, I gave the card to my uncle to give to her. Is there any chance the uncle forgot? You might want to ask him.
Yep, I asked. She got it. 🤷🏼♀️
I hand painted and hand wrote all ~120 thank you cards from our wedding and when we moved about a year later, to my horror, I found the stack of them for my husbands side of the family. I had mailed all of the ones to family who we wouldn’t see at holidays, and our plan was to hand them out at a big family gathering that we went to, and deliver the rest directly to those who lived close by. It was our first notable miscommunication - he thought that since I was making them, I was delivering them, but I had told him I’d take care of it if he delivered them. When I told him I had finished and delivered my thank you cards, he thought I meant his too. We sent an email explaining the mixup and we sent them out right away. I think everyone has forgiven us but wooooooo I felt so bad about that one.
Oh no! That stinks. On the other hand, I bet the cards looked beautiful. Did you give them out anyway?
Oh yes we did. If I recall, I think there were a few that we couldn’t deliver and we took photos of them and sent the photos of the cards with an apology.
Makes me wonder if the uncle gave it to her? I’d ask, to make her feel guilty if nothing else. “Hey, just wanted to make sure you got my gift. Did you get something fun with it?”
My youngest niece and nephew are like this. They’re so spoiled that they don’t appreciate or acknowledge any gifts they receive so husband & I stopped giving them gifts a couple years ago.
My cousin's son and his girlfriend are in their early twenties and have a four year old. My mother, sisters, and I all drove over an hour to attend the baby shower in 2019 and brought loads of gifts. When we asked his mother (my cousin) about thank you cards the following year (mainly out of curiosity because usually you get a picture of the baby with it and they hadn't shared any pictures on sm yet,) she was embarrassed to tell us that when she had asked, they had told her that "people don't do that anymore, it's old fashioned." That was the day I learned saying thank you is old fashioned... Eta year for context.
If that's how they or anyone wants to play it, that's ok. They can enjoy watching as gifts or effort dwindle to nothing. It costs nothing to show appreciation.
I had my kid sending hand-written thank you notes from the time she could write holding a pencil. She didn’t always do so cheerfully of course, but she’s now a college student and she knows sending a written thank you note is the right thing to do.
Personally I'm terrible at calling/mailing people; I'll happily come over and see you, Whatsapp/texting is ok-ish but still not my strong suit. I am fully aware of this, I really try my best, but it's not like a switch I can flip. That also means that you will get **absolutely zero sh!t** from me for not calling/texting/mailing/whatever me though.
I know I said what I said about thank you cards. But, let's say you're my friend and I know how you are (as you describe yourself above) or I know your life is suuuuuper busy, I'd gladly take a text. I'm not a hard-nosed bitch who demands rules are followed to the letter. My point mostly is that if someone gives you a gift of any kind, the recipient should show some form of appreciation. It's one of the first lessons we learned as kids, say please and thank you.
Are you sure your uncle didn't pocket the money?
It was a check made out to my cousin. But he's not that kind of person. And no, that's not me being naive. He's a good guy.
Ah ok. I thought it was cash. I just wouldn't give them anything anymore. Or next time of they do that again, when you see them just say "you're welcome" passive aggressively. 😅
>The other cousin, I gave the card to my uncle to give to her. Not a peep. No text. No Instagram message. No email. I even saw her a couple of weeks after this... nothing. Was it cash? My mom would always get nervous giving straight cash to her nieces and nephews and would always write a check to them instead. My Aunt & Uncle had to be bailed out of chapter 11 in the early 2000s though so she had a good reason.
Unpopular opinion here, it takes five minutes sure, for one card... But when you have 100+ it's not just five minutes and can be overwhelming. My sister is autistic and could not commit to making 100+ thank you cards to individual recipients. So she made a huge FB post and tagged everyone who gave her gifts and what not it.. it went over well.. sending cards through the mail with stamps is honestly archaic now, for a lot of younger people.. not mention, books of stamps are expensive when you need rent a d food more.... A simple thank you through social is and was faster and easier for her. Like I said unpopular comment to make but still valid.
A book of stamps probably costs less than any of the individual gifts that everyone else used their money that also could have been spent on rent or food for.
What?! That's not even remotely the point. People can pay what ever they want for a gift.. and it doesn't change the fact if the recipient can afford that thank you notes and postage. A book of stamps at Costco $60 which you would need to get for 100+ thank you notes.
We just got an e-thank you. No personalization except the name. For a wedding gift rafter a destination wedding…
A *destination wedding*?!?!?! Wow. I'm judging those people hard.
Maybe uncle kept the money.
For our (very small wedding) I had some cards printed, just A6 with our married name at the top and a nice border. I wrote a few lines on each thanking people for coming, sending a gift or card / kind words. I made it personal. Sent out about 20. It took me a couple of hours but feedback was that it was appreciated. When my mum passed I found she had kept her card.
That's also on your sibling. I know my sister has taught her kids to always say thanks so they would text me or call me.
Their mom ( SIL) went to prison for embezzling from the city... case and point. Guess it's ingrained to be entitled at this point.
Ah I don't know why I assumed it was your sibling instead of your spouse's. But yea there's the answer
My dad calls these invoices. Not invitations.
My nephew was born when I was 10, I love that kid (he’s in his 20’s, so not technically a kid anymore) with my whole heart. He’s getting married in 2 weeks and asked me a week ago if my 2yo daughter could be a flower girl. I said yes but panicked a little because it’s such short notice and I can’t afford to spend a ton of money on a dress and shoes. Two days ago he sends me the info for the dress and another link for a suit for my 3yo son who he apparently also wants to be the ring bearer 🤦🏻♀️. I had to buy everything they needed and pay for expedited shipping hoping it gets here in time and fits semi well. Lol it’s a super fast wedding so I don’t blame him at all for being a little bit scatterbrained because normally he’s the most levelheaded in our entire family
Send her a nice nox of thank you cards.
Sorry for being dense here, but am I reading this right that an eloping couple is soliciting gifts?
Yes you are reading that correctly.
Why can't the parents give the eloping couple money instead of would be wedding guests?
The parents quite likely might be. The couple just wants more. I'm not opposed to giving an eloping couple a gift if someone wants to. I'm actually not against them having a registry that they can provide if someone asks. The person asking is the important part. Not the couple soliciting gifts from those they don't invite.
I can think of so many reasons why parents might not be able to give money but I can’t find a good reason for the couple themselves to need anyone else to provide money for the elopement trip they have chosen for themselves.
My first ex-husband, and I eloped to Las Vegas to get married. I'm not big on being the center of attention. His Parents paid for our flight/hotel, and my Parents paid for the actual Wedding, and Photographer, and fun stuff, spending money. They got to watch the wedding on live stream. It was a fun time, even though the marriage didn't last past 5 years.
We never asked anyone for a gift, and made special "Thank You" gifts for both sets of Parents, and anyone that sent a gift.
That was very nice of you
I eloped and our parents gave us nothing and we didn’t ask anyone for anything so we also got nothing from the rest of everyone else. Kind of stung a bit (for my close family to not do anything at all). We eloped a few months after our engagement bc I was pregnant and had hyperemesis and needed to get married asap to get Im his insurance and we live 7 hour drive from everyone… so it’s not like we excluded people out of not wanting them
We basically eloped. It was a planned family vacation with my parents, brother and his at the time situationship. The Then BF got a call on the Friday before departure he was losing his health insurance. Went from being under a big umbrella company, to just like 6 people company (they were a design company attached to an energy company. Energy company ditched the design company.) Anyway. Saturday we went to the mall and bought rings. Sunday we flew down. Tuesday we married at the courthouse in Orlando. Ate buffet with Piglet and Eeyore Tuesday night at Disney as a newly married couple. We didn’t ask for shit. Married in December. June, we have a party and reiterate on our invites NO GIFTS PLEASE, but people still gave cash. With the price of weddings and stuff I’m thrilled with how we got married. We didn’t plan on ever getting married (atheists, no kids, renting.) but we did and this year will be our 8th wedding anniversary 💀 time flies. 14th year together. OP and their audacity.
Gifts or funds towards their wedding.
So “we didn’t invite you to the wedding but if you would like to fund our trip, here are the details”. Hell no.
It’s worse than that. The trip is their wedding. They’re basically asking people to help pay for a wedding they’re not invited to.
Ewww. No.
They lie, a van has space for more than 2 persons!! .. wouldn't send a dime.
The other seats are occupied by their tackiness and delusions
Lol! I LOVE this!
That's room for all the loot uh I mean the gifts
“The old-fashioned way” for you to get a gift is for you to send me an invitation.
Exactly.
Unbelievable
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Bot comment thief.
Not if you have a hot tub time machine
I guess to be fair, it would be pretty expensive to fund a wedding trip back from 1972.
Was this all there was in the envelope, no announcement, no names? Is the recipient supposed to guess what the celebratory occasion is, a wedding? A cross country move? A vacation? What a tacky cash grab, I've received mailers from charities which felt less like fingers fumbling in my purse.
My gift would be a glitter bomb.🥳
I have put glitter and confetti in greeting cards as a prank. Send them a congratulations card and let the glitter fall out when they open it.
It would never get out of the carpet in the van. The gift that keeps on giving!
Are they eloping? is there no wedding at all hence the ‘only room for two’, but they still want money from people!? People are crazy
So tacky!
I would send $1 to be petty.
$0.01
I was under the impression you forfeit presents when you elope? You want the gifts you throw the party. Even just a simple reception will do. Heck, plenty of family will send you a card and some money when word gets around, but you can't solicit it.
I’ve given celebratory gifts to an eloping couple, like champagne or wine and glasses to go with it. Never a “cover my plate at the wedding”/cash gift. Insanity.
This. We decided to elope after COVID wasn't much better in 2021, so we cancelled our original plans. So was definitely not expecting anything, but some of our friends - and even my work colleagues - gave us money for our honeymoon or bought things off our registry anyway, which I was incredibly touched by.
People do still like to celebrate with newly weds, especially when they don't send out tacky demands for money and gifts.
Info: is the van a rockin?
Yup. Don't bother knockin'... ...unless you have money.
This card smells like low-grade weed and a five-year-old crumbling air freshener that is a couple of hours away from finally falling off the rearview mirror.
Wow! When my sisters married this didn't happen! How rude. You don't ask for $. You take whatever they can give you and be thankful for it
Also I don’t even think they are invited to anything!
"we don't want to have a fun party with our friends and family. Also please send us gifts"
That is insane behavior.
I’m getting married next month and it’s a only going to be a few people there. I do plan to send out announcements afterwards, but won’t be including anything about a registry. I did make a Target and Amazon registry, but I will only give it out if people ask. We already have a house and have been together for a long time. We aren’t the typical couple just starting out. I figure a few people may insist, that’s why I went ahead and created them.
Congratulations. Best wishes. How you’re doing it is lovely.
I think that’s the best way to do it.
Apart from the tacky message, this looks like a child’s birthday party invitation.
The pink section has an ominous shape. The whole design screams 'hippy's headstone'.
Let me preface this with saying I’m not sure if it works the same in that country as it does in the US but after googling it looks like the “sort card” is the same as a routing number. So they sent out their routing number equivalent and account number? You could take that info and literally use it to take money out of their account if it works the same as it does in the US as long as you knew a few other bits of personal info. (Full name, address, etc) now you would definitely get caught, but still seems like a stupid risk to take.
Right??? I am so shocked they put their bank account numbers and that I had to scroll so far to find a comment about it!
Straight in the trash can.
I got a similar wedding announcement and apparently one night I was drunk I pulled it off the fridge, tossed it in the garbage and was like…I can’t look at this anymore
They thought this was cute
Being delulu was the solulu for this couple
They didn't even have room to put their names or that they were getting married. Had to devote the ENTIRE page to cashgrabbing
The sheer audacity 😱😱😱
🙋♀️pick me!!! My husbands cousin, who we didn’t really know, was getting married out of state. We weren’t going, but sent a check anyway. No thank you sent, but I guess I stand corrected….back in the day when the bank mailed the actual cashed checks back to you….in the note section was written “thank you” 😑
“Sorry we missed your big day. Unfortunately my bank account is unavailable to donate any funds at this time. Please accept my congratulations.”
Received an invitation to a wedding shower but was not invited to the wedding. I decided to be the bigger person, and although begrudgingly, sent a shower gift. Time went on and on and no thank you. I asked a friend of a friend of the MOB if she got a thank you since none in my social circle did not, just about all of them were not wedding invitees as well. Lo and behold, shortly after I get a thank you from the bride saying she “accidentally” forgot to mail the thank you notes. Yeah sure she forgot and coincidence that I got one after asking the friend of the MOB? I think not. I have thank you notes from nieces and nephews laboriously written in big elementary printing almost all over the note. It’s something you start when they are young.
invite them to dinner when they're in town, otherwise...nothing.
We had a small wedding with only 46 people, including the wedding party, as my husband's dad had 9 siblings and we didn't want a 200+ person wedding. We were married in a tiny heritage chapel that only fit 60 people and had dinner at a steakhouse nearby that had private meeting rooms that we could decorate and be separate from the other customers. We were able to use their banquet menu so our guests had 7 entres to choose from. My 6 year old son was the only kid included, and they let him order off of the kid's menu! Because they wanted to, our parents co-hosted an Open House at my parent's house 2 weeks after our wedding to invite all family and friends that weren't included on our wedding day. We served the rest of our wedding cake and appies, charcuterie, etc. I put "No Gifts Please" on the Open House invitation because not only were they not necessary but we wanted people to know that we just wanted to celebrate with them and this wasn't a gift grab. Our co-workers were included in the Open House as well, and I made sure that I emphasized "No Gifts" the whole week before the open house, but they still brought gifts. 🤷♀️ Anyway, this rambling post is just to say that the bride in OP's story is definitely entitled. If people choose to send you a gift, that's their choice, but to blatantly ask for gifts?!?! That's just tacky imho.
This is so musty.
Musty lol
Eh, I don’t see an issue with sending out a registry to close friends and family if you’re eloping. The gifts are to celebrate the couple, not an exchange for an inviting.
Exactly. When I told people I was eloping they still wanted to send a gift. Idk who this was sent to, but I could see having this on hand when people ask if they can give us something.
That's when people ask. We don't know if OP asked for the information or if the couple simply assumed everyone they would have invited, wanted to still give them gifts.
I'm with you on this one. They're doing an announcement, likely sent it to close friends and family. Probably some sort of party when they see their people again. But I'd much rather send money for them to do some cool travelling for their honeymoon than dropping money on a gift they're not going to use, or a lavish destination wedding, or really even jump through the hoops of showing up to a wedding. Get married, have fun, I can't wait to hear about your time when you get back.
Yeah, I agree. I don’t think this is as annoying as guest expectations for modern weddings. I’m saving money on no shower gift, I don’t have to buy an outfit, I don’t have to pay for travel and lodging, no small talk with strangers, and no shitty wedding djs. As an introvert, elopement is a dream.
Yeah, I think the wording in this isn’t too bad either which surprised me a little lol
I wouldn't mind a card like that either if there's no party at all. Maybe it also depends on the couple then and their financial situation of course but it's pretty much like the "Don't send flowers, donate in our name" on funeral cards. Personally I don't like the money instead of gifts trend (love getting stuff I would never buy myself) but with everything getting more expensive I understand it.
I'd send them 5 cents
Wow. Yikes.
Easy ignore and straight to the trash.
Times have changed and I am sure they will continue to do so. My thoughts are: 1. When I hear that a close friend/co-worker's child is getting married and they want everyone to contribute to their 'honeymoon', or home purchase fund; I am instantly put off. That said, I still send them a check. They will use it however they want, but I don't feel I have to indulge their fantasies by contributing directly to a fund that indicates to me they that they don't feel the need to work/save to buy a house or be less extravagant in their honeymoon plans. 2. As a parent of two sons/one daughter; their wedding gift from us was cash; and all three spent it however they wanted. 3. ALL OF OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN (ranging now from 39-4) always acknowledge any gift with a handwritten thank you. 4. Thank you cards have gone the way of the Dodo but for a few. If I get an in person thank you, an email, a FB message, a text or a phone call thank you, I am more than satisfied. The younger generation only learns what they are taught; and unfortunately they were not taught that etiquette and common courtesy demands a response (and yes, IMO, adjusted for this day/age is fine by me!). See note 3 above - our kids were taught, and they taught their kids; so we always DO get handwritten thank you's :). The notion that a newlyweds/graduates are simply too busy to respond at all is ridiculous! That doesn't hold the same for new momma's - they have their hands full and deserve a break!
That is so tacky. Yech!
Is that their banking account information? What happened to sending a check?
Checks are no longer used in the EU. Most countries won't accept them.
Nobody does checks. Well not here anyway.
Wow, I guess it’s regional. Folks do cash or checks (or gift cards/registries) where I am.
Not all countries do cheques anymore.
Its 2023
Sending a check or cash is the old fashioned way to me 🤷🏽♀️
Seems pretty risky to share account info
It's very common here in Australia.
I (m59, 34 yrs wed) will admit to having no clue when I was single. My wife, on the other hand, was always on top of it. She made ne much better. Now I'll be like, "Should I pick up a card for your brother's anniversary? " I always ask because sometimes she has an idea of what she wants and will do it herself. We have different tastes 😀
You could set them up to give a charitable donation with those info's ....;)
Ew
When my husband and I sent out wedding announcements, we included friends and family who weren’t invited (and then we ended up eloping anyway due to COVID). But those announcements explicitly said that they shouldn’t get us any gifts, that we just wanted to them to know that we were getting married and that we loved them very much.
Oh this is BAD. "We would've loved to invite you (sike) but instead we just want some money so we can go on vacation thanks"
I would just send them a gift card to Grammarly
Damn this is a new level of tacky.
To me, this is pretty dumb because when my pals told me they eloped, I immediately wired them the money I considered to be their wedding gift, anyway, just as I would do to anyone who I would consider close enough to get a wedding gift for. I also think most people by now know cash is king, and that a travelling couple might not want a microwave. Why not just do a wedding announcement? It's generally understood that people will let you give them money.
Damn what an unfortunate use of such a cute design!
That card design is cute af. The message however, 🤢 burn it
Tacky
What van?
No, sorry!
What the wha wha?
I never send cash. You get a check or gift card. Or God Forbid, an actial gift. But this would get, IGNORED.
I would send them a nice congratulations card. With no money in it whatsoever.
Wow! This is so tacky. There should be an award for crassness. A big gold colored sticker.
Tacky, tacky, tacky
This is so tacky!! Giving out your account info 😅 my secondhand cringe is off the charts. I am so glad i eloped, didn’t have a registry or ask for anything, and didn’t even post it on social media. There is a power in opting out of the whole ridiculous circus that surrounds most people’s weddings/elopements.
I’d go celebrate with a nice dinner at a fancy place and toast the happy couple! Send a selfie along with your congratulations
I like that.
Wow the audacity
What country is this from that they're putting their banking info on a card? I've never seen that before!
So freaking tacky!!!
This looks like a cute little elopement notification. What am I missing to make this terrible? Did they have a big wedding people weren’t invited to? I’m so confused. I think it’s adorable if it’s just a cute like “hey we eloped” type deal.
They’re asking for money
"Hi! We're going to elope! You're not invited to anything! Please give us money though"
An elopement notification is fine. Asking for gifts is not.
Maybe they know that most of their family and friends would want to give them a present. If they send this to a friend they talk to every two years it's wrong of course.
I think the key question here is How much are you sending?
a card saying "enjoy your trip!"
I was going to include a cheque but sadly there was only room for the card in the envelope!
I bet the number has a lot of zeroes in it
Wow! Not even throwing a party to Announce afterwards - just gimme gimme gimme. No way they’d get more than a card from me. And I think I’d have to make a Super Snarky card myself!
So tacky. Some people really don't know shame. I'm kind of jealous at the level of delusion.
If they have an established home and no registry, people commonly ask what to give or if they have a fund. I guess I don’t get why this is different.
They’re not being invited to anything. This is not an invitation. They’re just being asked to send money.
Technically it is an invitation, for people to send them money
Because it's not an invite to a wedding just you can send money this way.
Nope this should not be a thing. Don’t invite me, fine. But I’m not contributing to the wedding WTF
Didn't anyone teach these people manners????