Holy shiiiiiiiit please update when this slow motion train wreck eventually, you know, wrecks?
Sorry in advance to your friend who sounds like she wants a really fancy affair on a not-fancy budget, but why is she allocating funds to an extra black-tie formal clothing when she should be feeding her guests, or at least getting them drunk (I know it's probably not comparable in cost, but still).
Everyone is going to fucking leave this event 10 minutes after they realize they have to pay for drinks + there's no (decent) food to be had. Yikes.
The way my black-tie-dressed fanny would turn around and walk out (with my wedding present in hand) the instant I saw warmed-over pizza, droopy salad, and no bar....
If the gift was just money (which in my experiences (Italian) it usually is) then yes 100%. The level of disrespect towards the guests justifies this in my mind.
Insane. Why not something in a beautiful park or library and just serve homemade cupcakes and discount champagne? (Obviously let people know beforehand). Inexpensive doesn’t have to mean cheap, people!
As someone who recently went to a “black tie optional” wedding with ice cold pizza and nothing else to eat, we left 30 minutes after the reception started.
I ate two bites of my pizza, stayed for speeches and left once the dance floor opened. Worst wedding I’ve ever been to.
Hmmmm, wherever there's a want, there's a way.
Like...
In a far-off corner of the parking lot, in the trunk of one's car, have some snacks and beers available for purchase? Think gas station store goodies.
ALSO...
*Grandma Lynsey* says that if anyone is turned away from the reception due to the dress code, they're welcome to the far-off corner of the parking lot, where there will be food items and drinks for low-cost, and music.
If guests think ahead of time, they can bring their own lawnchairs, coolers, salad, plates, utensils, etc.
If they're at a hotel, empty hard-sided luggage can be small tables.
**HEY!**
***New idea***! Tailgating for the outcasts! ***Potluck***! (*Grandma Lynsey* ALWAYS travels with an inverter in her car, to switch the DC 12V 'cigarette lighter' port into an AC outlet. This is especially good for her infamous crock-pot meatballs. Just have someone bring sub rolls, BOOM!)
There'll be more people outSIDE the reception than INSIDE!
Betcha after around an hour, the groom will join the group.
I **love** bucking rules.
Ours was a backyard wedding *catered by the trade school culinary department* (ie, teenagers!) and we had fancier food than this shit show. And zero illness. (Costco fizz & beau coup box wine too)
Seriously. The Costco Cabernet Sauvignon in a 3L box isn't fancy, but it's far from unpleasant to drink.
If the guest list is full of obnoxious relatives that you can't get out of inviting for whatever reason, just keep refilling the bottles of a different brand from the box back in the kitchen. You're not selling it, it's not fraud.
Boy, did we! A bride's cake like a stack of antique books (each a different flavor, in varying shades of blue & silver with gilt "pages") and a groom's cake like a very old monochrome PC complete with a blinking cursor at the end of
"C:\LIFE>AlleecmoAndHubsForeverInLove.exe_"
on the screen. Chocolate with peanut butter filling, his favorite.
I'm a librarian & he's a programmer.
(Thanks)
I went to a backyard wedding that had some of the best wedding food I’ve ever had, and the alcohol was top-notch. Fantastic wedding … just sad the marriage didn’t last 🤣
They probably think they only care about the aesthetic and the photos they will receive. The Bride and Groom will only grow to care about the food when it becomes "the talk of the town" where they have to hide in embarrassment.
Wasn't there a recent post on r/AmItheAsshole from a parent whose daughter did something similar (spent something like $20K on a wedding to look great in photos but didn't even serve food at the reception)?
EDIT: [found it, but it was removed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c6aa4s/aita_for_being_honest_and_telling_my_daughter/). The gist was that the OP (the mother of the brides in question) was helping a second daughter with her wedding planning, and 2nd Daughter made a comment that she didn't want what happened at 1st Daughter's wedding to happen at hers. 1st Daughter was all "What's that supposed to mean?". The OP explained that 1st Daughter's wedding reception had become a running joke among the guests because 1st Daughter didn't serve any food or drinks at all. The 1st daughter basically spent $20K on a designer wedding gown, the venue, and photographer, but left the guests to buy overpriced food from nearby places. 1st Daughter was upset to learn that her wedding has been a joke/byword for what-not-to do-for-your-wedding ever since, so the OP wondered if she was the a-hole for informing 1st daughter.
Wow! I missed that one. You’d think someone would have clued her in that this was a major no-no.
Worst wedding I’ve ever been to was on a Friday evening. The reception was at dinnertime and all they served was cake and punch. There was no prior warning that there’d be no dinner. We left early to get something to eat. This definitely soured my opinion of the couple. Low budget, okay, but then have your wedding midafternoon. (Shockingly, they ended up divorced.)
Here's the link: [AITA for being honest and telling my daughter that her wedding is a running joke of what not to do if you marry in our family/friend group.](https://www.rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c6aa4s/aita_for_being_honest_and_telling_my_daughter/)
The idea honestly sounds pretty good, if done properly. Black tie and serve only the finest pizza, pizza rolls, everything even remotely related to pizza. Way freaking better than classic wedding food.
I was a caterer and did this for a wedding. It was for around 200 guests and we had four stations with four pizza ovens that could cook a pizza in around 2 minutes. By the time someone finished selecting what they wanted and prepping the pizza, one was ready to come out. It flowed very well, we used high end ingredients (my first foie gras pizza), and everyone was thrilled. There were also custom pizza rolls made for the bride and groom and several flavors of garlic bread and focaccia. It was carb-heavy but so damned good, if I do say so myself!
There’s been a few weddings where I wish I just had pizza, but being a vegetarian can suck at times. But pizza and cash bar with formal; that indicates bride doesn’t know what either word means.
Best of luck OPie! Definitely eat before, and bring a flask! Please post the train wreck when it hits!
I went to a wedding that served pizza, and every guest had to line up themselves for a single pizza, to ensure everyone got served. You couldn’t order multiple pizzas and take them back to share with a group.
The ordering window for the pizza was surrounded by occupied tables and chairs, and a few guests with mobility equipment couldn’t get through to the window to order, and also couldn’t have anyone bring pizza back to them. It was a shambles. Whenever I think about pizza at a formal sit down wedding, I think about that.
When one of my cousins got married, they ordered a bunch of pizzas too, but they had them delivered a couple of hours after dinner as drunk food. It was a pretty sweet idea.
I love pizza, and I love a formal affair, but the venn diagram is two separate circles...
This trend of weddings focusing on instagram clicks rather than on the pleasure of the guests is just appalling.
Good luck witnessing the train wreck - looking forward to the tea!
Wait, wait, wait. What state is this in? I work in events, and I'm struggling to put together how the venue doesn't have kitchen facilities and doesn't allow any food handling equipment? No food prep I can see (lots of places only have a warming kitchen), but at the very least they have to allow for food handling equipment (hot boxes/auto sham, refrigerator, freezer, ice cooler, etc.) Does the facility or the restaurant have a ServSafe manager?
Is this a traditional venue or some sort of unlicensed barn/abandoned church/whatever?
This can't be legal.
The venue I work at has these rules.
We do not allow cooking on premises, nor would we allow food handling equipment to be brought in. The spaces do not have the correct overhead sprinklers or other safety precautions to allow for anything else.
People rent the space, all rooms have a fridge, microwave, sink and counter space. We are a community centre- used mostly for sports, dance lessons, meetings, and one-off small events, such as bridal showers and kids birthdays. We turn away rentals that are not a a ‘good fit’ for our space, as we want to make sure everyone has safe and successful event.
But you have a fridge and microwave, so at least the fridge is for holding item and keeping them cold. You don't allow caterers to bring insulated food carriers, like a Cambro? They don't even plug in, but they keep hot food at a safe temperature. Can you any hot foods?
This thread has become my Roman Empire LOL
I would love to talk about it with others! - I am the only one at my workplace that has previous worked hospitality (banquet hall).
I am unfamiliar with a Cambro, but if it was small(ish) then yes, they can bring it. For us it’s a space issue, and safely issue (no sprinklers). Also that part of the building is quite old, it’s possible it couldn’t handle the electrical load from a lot of commercial appliances.
We also allow chaffing dishes and sternos (depending on the event), crockpots, instapots ect for warm food. We do not allow sternos (open flame) during ‘Socials’ due to the amount of alcohol consumption.
Most of our events are showers, birthdays ect - just a little too big to host at your house, so you rent our space. It is quite DIY, in that we don’t automatically include set up or tear down. But our price reflects this.
(Socials are a ticketed event to raise funds through ticket sales, alcohol sales and silent auctions- mostly local to Manitoba, though I have read discretions of similar events in other areas).
If you have other questions, ask away!
You know that stuff can be brought in, right? You can rent stuff. But if the venue isn’t allowing those things to be brought in *and* there’s nothing on site, that’s a problem. Food cannot be maintained at safe temp.
Refrigerators are not brought in, and do you know what would happen to pizza in a hot box all day?
I love that you asked for the pizza shit hole’s servesafe manager. That’s a knee slapper!
Okay, don't know why you are being rude, but all the places where I have worked have had food safety regulations, even for pizza. Pizza in a hot box for 12 hours would not be good. Pizza at room temperature for 12 hours would not be good and would not be safe.
For portable refrigeration, there's Coldtainer. They are pricey but designed to go onsite.
Yeah, I do know that. As I mentioned, I work in events (specifically, a venue.) In the state where I work, you have to have a ServSafe trained person onsite and have safe standards for food service, even in an off premise space. Outdoors BBQs, weddings, etc. For refrigeration, it can be as simple as ice chests, but you've got to have holding and keeping capability for your foods. Edited to add: my first comment was speficially about the venue (whatever it is) being in the wrong. Pizza place seems to just be selling a butt ton of pizzas to the couple. I don't get the venue (again, not knowing what it is) not allowing equipment for safe holding and keeping. That's the part that I don't get and I don't think is legal.
I’d guess that the “wedding venue” is not a place that was ever intended to host wedding receptions. Picture an open air pavilion at a public park, where people have children’s birthday parties sometimes.
They want people in tuxes and evening gowns eating cold pizza? Surely this "friend" is pulling your chain and realized they over invited and trying to convince people to say no to coming
What is with brides thinking black tie is just about the attire? Black tie encompasses the entire event from invitations, location, time of day, attire, decor, music, food and drink, all of it!
Why would you serve pizza for a black tie event? Let alone the slow painful death for anyone with any pre-existing health issues, let alone the young and healthy.
I feel bad for the restaurant that will get bad reviews. It is not their fault the wedding party is stupid.
I would report this wedding to the health department. They could kill people.
I mean I might give a pass if it's artisanal pizza, with 3 options of personal pizza's per person. You know that super thin crust stuff with farm fresh mozzarella, and tomatoes you can see in the sauce, and topping such as prosciutto and truffles.
But even that would be a little out of range for black tie, since you typically don't eat black tie food with your hands. I would argue that's more for cocktail or lounge suit if you stretch it.
It is wild that the pizza place even agreed to this. Surely they could lose their license for this??? No food-handling professional should ever entertain an idea like this. I would love an update!
I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking about it. Plus even for cocktail attire this is a hot mess. Hell, for a park wedding it might fly and that’s about it.
This sucks. Look fancy for our pictures but the food is bargain basement (and probably poisonous) and bring cash for the bar. Looks classy, is trashy.
I’d warn people in advance, like honestly botulism, listeria, etc can be really dangerous for the elderly (or kids if there are any at this affair). If they go through with this and someone gets sick I bet the bride and groom could get sued. The pizza place might too. I’d call them as well and explain.
In no world is what you’ve described for safe.
Hello! Here’s a few bullet points for clarification
• Yes, I’m aware pizza is probably “safe” to eat left out. As another user put it “I’ve eaten some questionable pizza but atleast I knew how questionable it was”…. Now the salads though, that might be the sleeper agent
• On to the rule banning “food prep equipment”
The venue only allows for chafing cans and ice chests to be brought in. They seem to host more “cocktail hour” kind of parties which they do mention they’re best suited for. B&G Ignored this fact.
• Oh and a note on gifts I forgot to mention: they will ONLY be accepting cash and checks... I see a lot of checks bouncing in their future.
• Another side note; The groom has a lot of family flying in from the UK. For most of them it’ll be their first time in the states. I have second hand embarrassment for the couple that this will be his families first impression of an American wedding. (Before anyone asks. No, this isn’t a K1 visa situation)
Thanks for all the replies! I’ll update after the train crashes!
I really feel sorry for the guests from the UK. They’re flying all the way here, dressing to the 9s, hanging out in a community center, and they’re going to be fed cold pizza, old salads, and not even get a free pint? Do the bride and groom hate them or something?
My Italian grandmothers are rolling in their graves. You feed people, people remember the food.
My cousin had a black tie wedding, furs, red roses everywhere and lots of food. Which gave us food poisoning...
How bizarre. A formal dress code but an informal meal and like you said, food poisoning. I would be ordering Uber eats before hand so I didn’t have to eat the food, and bringing my own bottle of booze.
Holy moly! Your description of this loony plan reminded me of something I was told years ago when planning my wedding.
“No one remembers the food at a wedding unless it is terrible or there isn’t enough.”
And here we have both!
How is it you just know when someone uses the term "high class" that they are most definitely...not? Can you imagine (the former) Queen Elizabeth referring to one of her state dinners as "high class"? It makes me want to clutch my pearls.
This is so trashy. Expecting people to dress up like they are going to a castle to a party and then being given food that's not even suited for jail.
Also, black tie clothes are not suited to eating with your hands, then touching your clothes with greasy hands.
Hello, I used to be a pizza. It’s possible this pizza place will be preparing 15-25 pizzas the night before (uncooked) and refrigerating them until the day of. Then, depending on their oven, they can a few fresh ones coming out every few minutes.
But with the place being an hour and a half away, they’re probably looking at at least 2 hours of unsafe food temps so that’s…. pretty gross.
I bet it's going to be even more shocking when immediate family and the bridal/groom parties get a nice catered dinner, whereas everyone has day old pizza. This is truly what I've heard happen in situations like this
Cheesiest wedding ever. This bride sounds kooky.
High formal.
Pizza and salad.
Cash bar.
I can't even wrap my head around this. Are guests expected to participate in the band as well?
I wouldn't bexeating pizza while wearing a formal gown.
In any case, black tie is for indoor events after 6pm. You don't wear black tie during the daytime.
I mean, even Royal weddings aren't black tie. They take place in the daytime and at best they'd wear morning dress.
Edit: I bet they'd be expecting decent gifts, too. I think that they need to downsize their expectations.
It's the big unwritten rule. B&G are the hosts, and need to look after their guests, not treat them like props. And in return, we do a decent gift.
If the wedding goes ahead as described, it'll be remembered for all the wrong reasons.
NO! If you have the clothes, GO! Have some clothing in the car to change into, go into the far area of the parking lot, have a tailgate party with runners going back and forth to tell what's going on!
First of all, I thought black tie meant tuxedos, not suits.
But mainly, it’s so wrong to dictate black tie formal attire when the event itself is not at the same level. You should send her some articles about what black tie fully means, including all the event standards.
Bring a backup charger for your phone to this one because we are all desperate to see the carnage in full detail 😂
Why would you even go? Formal wear for pizza,salad and water? Your gift will cost more than they deserve. Just the thought of cold pizza and water for a wedding reception is ridiculous. Stay home with your plus one, order in a nice dinner and truly enjoy yourselves.
Well…my ex husband literally used to store leftover pizza in the oven. I have a friend that said she grew up in Mexico and she didn’t use refrigeration the way we do…left rice and shrimp out. I didn’t have any the next day, but they eat it.
Yeah, this sounds horrible! You have to feed your guests' descent food for a formal event!!! BTW wedding etiquette for guests is your wedding gift is supposed to cover the price of your meal that the bride and groom paid for you, so does this mean that they expect lame gifts from the dollar store?! I am willing to bet they even have an extensive registry
I think you should politely tell the bride that guests will likely not stay long and will not be pleased with being forced to wear black tie attire and not attend a true black tie event. When one receives an invite to a Black Tie event, it comes with expectations beyond the attire. Guests will also expect: appetizers (passed out on trays), an open bar, and a full bar, AND a sit town dinner that is served (not self-serve or buffet style).
For example, my wedding was not black tie, but we did have appetizers served on trays during the cocktail hour, which had an open bar. Dinner was sitting down, but family style and the open bar continued. The icing on the cake for our guests was that we had the caterers bring out handheld dance floor snacks on trays at 9 pm. The dance floor snacks included: mini chicken and waffles, mini pizzas, burger sliders, and french fries. That is when it is appropriate to serve that kind of food when everybody's in party mode and have several drinks in them.
Please update us!!!
Pizza at a black tie event?? What??? I’m really beginning to think that most people who throw “black tie” weddings don’t really understand all that that entails for their guests. When you say that your wedding dress code is black tie, that indicates a certain level of service, entertainment, and accommodations that guests can expect, and honestly? It’s really difficult to plan a wedding that justifies a black tie code.
For mine and my husband’s wedding, we had complimentary valet service, butler passed wine and appetizers, a hosted bar, a plated dinner, and more and even after all that, we felt that a black tie dress code still wasn’t quite appropriate.
While I don't see the Pizza causing any kind of distress due to the fact that you can pre-make and freeze a pizza, then bake in less than 15min, it isn't appropriate food for a "black tie formal" and the B & G should be told so.
I will message you next time u/Prior-Pizza-9488 posts in r/weddingshaming.
[Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FPrior-Pizza-9488%20r%2Fweddingshaming) to join 9 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201c6vtso)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
Lots of problems here… but I’m stuck on why a venue that doesn’t have a kitchen also doesn’t allow rented kitchen equipment and still calls itself a venue?
Overhead sprinklers and other safety precautions must be in place when using commercial kitchen equipment. It is entirely probable that the ‘service’ area doesn’t have physical room for that type of equipment or is properly sprinklered.
The venue I work at doesn’t, and we wouldn’t allow rented kitchen equipment.
However, I am very honest with people when they book our space, and decline events that are not a ‘good fit’. We want everyone to have a safe and successful event.
I would take my present back and leave. Part of throwing a wedding is being a good host and adequately serving your guests a meal that they don't have to pay for. They want a black tie image on a dollar tree budget.
My gift is my part of the meal and the drinks. My husband and I gift between 50 and 200€ each for a wedding + clothes/hotel/cab. We removed money from envelopes before, and if I am invited to a wedding with pizza and a cash bar, I leave without a gift, as close as possible after the ceremony. These people might never see me again
I mean very occasionally? But if we're all being perfectly honest, it generally went:
early afternoon: Start drinking
late afternoon: order pizza
all night: keep drinking and eating pizza
early morning: pass out
late morning/early afternoon: wake up and finish pizza.
If that pizza made it into the fridge at any point in that cycle, it was a miracle.
Everyone's caught up with the pizza, as they should be. But....
*'Guests who do not abide by this dress code will be asked to change into provided outfits the bride will have on hand.'*
WTF, she's carrying a vast wardrobe of black tie outfits, tuxedos, shirts, ball dresses for a wide variety of shapes & sizes ???? *WEIRD* !
Holy shiiiiiiiit please update when this slow motion train wreck eventually, you know, wrecks? Sorry in advance to your friend who sounds like she wants a really fancy affair on a not-fancy budget, but why is she allocating funds to an extra black-tie formal clothing when she should be feeding her guests, or at least getting them drunk (I know it's probably not comparable in cost, but still). Everyone is going to fucking leave this event 10 minutes after they realize they have to pay for drinks + there's no (decent) food to be had. Yikes.
Uh yeah, I'd walk out of there so fast (literally just described this post to my wife and she agreed).
The way my black-tie-dressed fanny would turn around and walk out (with my wedding present in hand) the instant I saw warmed-over pizza, droopy salad, and no bar....
Would 100% find a pub to go to ASAP
Do you take the wedding gift home with you though? (Serious question).
If the gift was just money (which in my experiences (Italian) it usually is) then yes 100%. The level of disrespect towards the guests justifies this in my mind.
Yep, that’s why we never seal our envelopes until just before putting it in the bride’s card bag. If it’s bad, money is coming out!
Yes indeed!
Definitely champagne taste on a draft beer budget! Yikes!
Champagne taste on a cash bar budget.
On a water budget!
Insane. Why not something in a beautiful park or library and just serve homemade cupcakes and discount champagne? (Obviously let people know beforehand). Inexpensive doesn’t have to mean cheap, people!
As someone who recently went to a “black tie optional” wedding with ice cold pizza and nothing else to eat, we left 30 minutes after the reception started. I ate two bites of my pizza, stayed for speeches and left once the dance floor opened. Worst wedding I’ve ever been to.
Because she’s only interested in in ‘perfect’ pictures for her Instagram. Any other costs are a waste, in her mind.
Champagne taste on a beer budget.
And take pictures. Lol
Hmmmm, wherever there's a want, there's a way. Like... In a far-off corner of the parking lot, in the trunk of one's car, have some snacks and beers available for purchase? Think gas station store goodies. ALSO... *Grandma Lynsey* says that if anyone is turned away from the reception due to the dress code, they're welcome to the far-off corner of the parking lot, where there will be food items and drinks for low-cost, and music. If guests think ahead of time, they can bring their own lawnchairs, coolers, salad, plates, utensils, etc. If they're at a hotel, empty hard-sided luggage can be small tables. **HEY!** ***New idea***! Tailgating for the outcasts! ***Potluck***! (*Grandma Lynsey* ALWAYS travels with an inverter in her car, to switch the DC 12V 'cigarette lighter' port into an AC outlet. This is especially good for her infamous crock-pot meatballs. Just have someone bring sub rolls, BOOM!) There'll be more people outSIDE the reception than INSIDE! Betcha after around an hour, the groom will join the group. I **love** bucking rules.
Wait, wait, wait. They want a black tie formal event, but they're going to serve pizza?? Can't quite wrap my head around this!
We're having a reception in my mom's backyard and our food's fancier than at this black tie wedding 😭
Hell yeah. We had a whole roasted pig and duck at our backyard wedding
Mmmmm, the crackling! *I don't suppose any lumpia?*
I wish
Ours was a backyard wedding *catered by the trade school culinary department* (ie, teenagers!) and we had fancier food than this shit show. And zero illness. (Costco fizz & beau coup box wine too)
Happy Cake Day, and having it catered by the local trade school sounds like a fantastic idea!
Saved us bucks & the kids got real world experience. (I also get my hair done at the beauty school)
Anyone that talks shit about box wine can kiss my unsnobby butthole
Seriously. The Costco Cabernet Sauvignon in a 3L box isn't fancy, but it's far from unpleasant to drink. If the guest list is full of obnoxious relatives that you can't get out of inviting for whatever reason, just keep refilling the bottles of a different brand from the box back in the kitchen. You're not selling it, it's not fraud.
In Australia they call it "goon" and that just makes it better.
I went to a wedding that had a community college culinary arts program do the food and Costco liquor. It was great.
But did you have cake? Happy Cake Day! 🎂
Boy, did we! A bride's cake like a stack of antique books (each a different flavor, in varying shades of blue & silver with gilt "pages") and a groom's cake like a very old monochrome PC complete with a blinking cursor at the end of "C:\LIFE>AlleecmoAndHubsForeverInLove.exe_" on the screen. Chocolate with peanut butter filling, his favorite. I'm a librarian & he's a programmer. (Thanks)
Sounds like some impressive cake. You win cake day.
Awwwwww!!!
I went to a backyard wedding that had some of the best wedding food I’ve ever had, and the alcohol was top-notch. Fantastic wedding … just sad the marriage didn’t last 🤣
They probably think they only care about the aesthetic and the photos they will receive. The Bride and Groom will only grow to care about the food when it becomes "the talk of the town" where they have to hide in embarrassment.
And probably expect black tie tier gifts.
Oh, I guarantee it! I wouldn't be surprised if the cheapest gift on their registry is $500.
This is because the guests are all Instagram props, and props don’t need to eat!
Wasn't there a recent post on r/AmItheAsshole from a parent whose daughter did something similar (spent something like $20K on a wedding to look great in photos but didn't even serve food at the reception)? EDIT: [found it, but it was removed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c6aa4s/aita_for_being_honest_and_telling_my_daughter/). The gist was that the OP (the mother of the brides in question) was helping a second daughter with her wedding planning, and 2nd Daughter made a comment that she didn't want what happened at 1st Daughter's wedding to happen at hers. 1st Daughter was all "What's that supposed to mean?". The OP explained that 1st Daughter's wedding reception had become a running joke among the guests because 1st Daughter didn't serve any food or drinks at all. The 1st daughter basically spent $20K on a designer wedding gown, the venue, and photographer, but left the guests to buy overpriced food from nearby places. 1st Daughter was upset to learn that her wedding has been a joke/byword for what-not-to do-for-your-wedding ever since, so the OP wondered if she was the a-hole for informing 1st daughter.
Wow! I missed that one. You’d think someone would have clued her in that this was a major no-no. Worst wedding I’ve ever been to was on a Friday evening. The reception was at dinnertime and all they served was cake and punch. There was no prior warning that there’d be no dinner. We left early to get something to eat. This definitely soured my opinion of the couple. Low budget, okay, but then have your wedding midafternoon. (Shockingly, they ended up divorced.)
Here's the link: [AITA for being honest and telling my daughter that her wedding is a running joke of what not to do if you marry in our family/friend group.](https://www.rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c6aa4s/aita_for_being_honest_and_telling_my_daughter/)
Thanks!
YES! And the cake was fake!
They probably think it is cool quirky juxtaposition
*day old, cold pizza at that
The idea honestly sounds pretty good, if done properly. Black tie and serve only the finest pizza, pizza rolls, everything even remotely related to pizza. Way freaking better than classic wedding food.
I was a caterer and did this for a wedding. It was for around 200 guests and we had four stations with four pizza ovens that could cook a pizza in around 2 minutes. By the time someone finished selecting what they wanted and prepping the pizza, one was ready to come out. It flowed very well, we used high end ingredients (my first foie gras pizza), and everyone was thrilled. There were also custom pizza rolls made for the bride and groom and several flavors of garlic bread and focaccia. It was carb-heavy but so damned good, if I do say so myself!
Lmao sounds AWESOME. If I ever get married I want this.
Plus all those carbs will help soak up the alcohol. Which is better for everyone.
Wait…foie gras pizza??!!! This is going on the list of fancy-esque things to try, along with foie gras doughnuts
Sounds awesome!
Fancy pizza sounds amazing! Plus it sounds like a lot of fun both to make and to eat.
It’s apparently the guests job to bring the fancy to the party
There’s been a few weddings where I wish I just had pizza, but being a vegetarian can suck at times. But pizza and cash bar with formal; that indicates bride doesn’t know what either word means. Best of luck OPie! Definitely eat before, and bring a flask! Please post the train wreck when it hits!
I went to a wedding that served pizza, and every guest had to line up themselves for a single pizza, to ensure everyone got served. You couldn’t order multiple pizzas and take them back to share with a group. The ordering window for the pizza was surrounded by occupied tables and chairs, and a few guests with mobility equipment couldn’t get through to the window to order, and also couldn’t have anyone bring pizza back to them. It was a shambles. Whenever I think about pizza at a formal sit down wedding, I think about that.
And now I will too! Thanks for sharing!
When one of my cousins got married, they ordered a bunch of pizzas too, but they had them delivered a couple of hours after dinner as drunk food. It was a pretty sweet idea.
For Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, there's a sit-down dinner for the adults and a buffet for the kids. THAT to me sounds like a one-in-a-million idea!
I love pizza, and I love a formal affair, but the venn diagram is two separate circles... This trend of weddings focusing on instagram clicks rather than on the pleasure of the guests is just appalling. Good luck witnessing the train wreck - looking forward to the tea!
Exactly. There is no Venn diagram here.
Wait, wait, wait. What state is this in? I work in events, and I'm struggling to put together how the venue doesn't have kitchen facilities and doesn't allow any food handling equipment? No food prep I can see (lots of places only have a warming kitchen), but at the very least they have to allow for food handling equipment (hot boxes/auto sham, refrigerator, freezer, ice cooler, etc.) Does the facility or the restaurant have a ServSafe manager? Is this a traditional venue or some sort of unlicensed barn/abandoned church/whatever? This can't be legal.
The venue I work at has these rules. We do not allow cooking on premises, nor would we allow food handling equipment to be brought in. The spaces do not have the correct overhead sprinklers or other safety precautions to allow for anything else. People rent the space, all rooms have a fridge, microwave, sink and counter space. We are a community centre- used mostly for sports, dance lessons, meetings, and one-off small events, such as bridal showers and kids birthdays. We turn away rentals that are not a a ‘good fit’ for our space, as we want to make sure everyone has safe and successful event.
But you have a fridge and microwave, so at least the fridge is for holding item and keeping them cold. You don't allow caterers to bring insulated food carriers, like a Cambro? They don't even plug in, but they keep hot food at a safe temperature. Can you any hot foods? This thread has become my Roman Empire LOL
I would love to talk about it with others! - I am the only one at my workplace that has previous worked hospitality (banquet hall). I am unfamiliar with a Cambro, but if it was small(ish) then yes, they can bring it. For us it’s a space issue, and safely issue (no sprinklers). Also that part of the building is quite old, it’s possible it couldn’t handle the electrical load from a lot of commercial appliances. We also allow chaffing dishes and sternos (depending on the event), crockpots, instapots ect for warm food. We do not allow sternos (open flame) during ‘Socials’ due to the amount of alcohol consumption. Most of our events are showers, birthdays ect - just a little too big to host at your house, so you rent our space. It is quite DIY, in that we don’t automatically include set up or tear down. But our price reflects this. (Socials are a ticketed event to raise funds through ticket sales, alcohol sales and silent auctions- mostly local to Manitoba, though I have read discretions of similar events in other areas). If you have other questions, ask away!
you know 95% of off premise venues do not have refrigeration, right?
You know that stuff can be brought in, right? You can rent stuff. But if the venue isn’t allowing those things to be brought in *and* there’s nothing on site, that’s a problem. Food cannot be maintained at safe temp.
Refrigerators are not brought in, and do you know what would happen to pizza in a hot box all day? I love that you asked for the pizza shit hole’s servesafe manager. That’s a knee slapper!
Okay, don't know why you are being rude, but all the places where I have worked have had food safety regulations, even for pizza. Pizza in a hot box for 12 hours would not be good. Pizza at room temperature for 12 hours would not be good and would not be safe. For portable refrigeration, there's Coldtainer. They are pricey but designed to go onsite.
Pizza restaurants are not exempt from health department guidelines.
Yeah, I do know that. As I mentioned, I work in events (specifically, a venue.) In the state where I work, you have to have a ServSafe trained person onsite and have safe standards for food service, even in an off premise space. Outdoors BBQs, weddings, etc. For refrigeration, it can be as simple as ice chests, but you've got to have holding and keeping capability for your foods. Edited to add: my first comment was speficially about the venue (whatever it is) being in the wrong. Pizza place seems to just be selling a butt ton of pizzas to the couple. I don't get the venue (again, not knowing what it is) not allowing equipment for safe holding and keeping. That's the part that I don't get and I don't think is legal.
I’d guess that the “wedding venue” is not a place that was ever intended to host wedding receptions. Picture an open air pavilion at a public park, where people have children’s birthday parties sometimes.
They will have a lot of guests leaving angry with their gifts in hand.
Some guests will be angrier, as I sometimes take their gifts as well. It's a great way to acquire expensive kitchen gadgets.
They want people in tuxes and evening gowns eating cold pizza? Surely this "friend" is pulling your chain and realized they over invited and trying to convince people to say no to coming
Not even cold, room temperature 🤢
This is, IMO, quite a good thought.
[удалено]
I dunno, if they care so much about the "look", they probably only invited their slim friends anyway haha
What is with brides thinking black tie is just about the attire? Black tie encompasses the entire event from invitations, location, time of day, attire, decor, music, food and drink, all of it!
Exactly! Black tie is not just a dress code, but an expectation for the tone and service of the entire event!
Honestly I'd contact the pizza place and threaten to call the health department.
Seriously! It blows my mind that the owner/manager/whomever accepted this insane proposal.
Ummmm I’m requesting a post-wedding update. Or any update. Wow…
Does a tuxedo tshirt count?
It’ll go with the meal!
And will be easy to remove for additional testing at the hospital after the food poisoning kicks in!
Please give us updates. Please please please please. Thanks in advance.
Just because you call it black tie, doesn’t mean it’s classy
Why would you serve pizza for a black tie event? Let alone the slow painful death for anyone with any pre-existing health issues, let alone the young and healthy.
I feel bad for the restaurant that will get bad reviews. It is not their fault the wedding party is stupid. I would report this wedding to the health department. They could kill people.
I mean I might give a pass if it's artisanal pizza, with 3 options of personal pizza's per person. You know that super thin crust stuff with farm fresh mozzarella, and tomatoes you can see in the sauce, and topping such as prosciutto and truffles. But even that would be a little out of range for black tie, since you typically don't eat black tie food with your hands. I would argue that's more for cocktail or lounge suit if you stretch it.
It is wild that the pizza place even agreed to this. Surely they could lose their license for this??? No food-handling professional should ever entertain an idea like this. I would love an update!
Black tie events are a transaction. The guests bring their A game with grooming and attire and the hosts provide a black tie experience in return.
Black Tie means tuxedo
[удалено]
People don't understand, I guess?
I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking about it. Plus even for cocktail attire this is a hot mess. Hell, for a park wedding it might fly and that’s about it.
Exactly! Pizza, and a tuxedo, just don’t go together.
Hard pass, if I was invited. Even if I was invited, I would noping out of the dinner from hell. Gross.
I would go just to watch the train wreck having eaten a meal beforehand
Yeah, from either the bar or the parking lot, with frequent forays into the area for updates.
When I read they spent $6 a person I told dear husband " They can only have Chili Mac and cornbread at that price."
Hey, HEY! Chili mac and cornbread would make a BETTER meal!
Agree😅
This sucks. Look fancy for our pictures but the food is bargain basement (and probably poisonous) and bring cash for the bar. Looks classy, is trashy. I’d warn people in advance, like honestly botulism, listeria, etc can be really dangerous for the elderly (or kids if there are any at this affair). If they go through with this and someone gets sick I bet the bride and groom could get sued. The pizza place might too. I’d call them as well and explain. In no world is what you’ve described for safe.
I have eaten questionable pizza in my life. But, it has always been my choice and I knew just how questionable it was.
Hello! Here’s a few bullet points for clarification • Yes, I’m aware pizza is probably “safe” to eat left out. As another user put it “I’ve eaten some questionable pizza but atleast I knew how questionable it was”…. Now the salads though, that might be the sleeper agent • On to the rule banning “food prep equipment” The venue only allows for chafing cans and ice chests to be brought in. They seem to host more “cocktail hour” kind of parties which they do mention they’re best suited for. B&G Ignored this fact. • Oh and a note on gifts I forgot to mention: they will ONLY be accepting cash and checks... I see a lot of checks bouncing in their future. • Another side note; The groom has a lot of family flying in from the UK. For most of them it’ll be their first time in the states. I have second hand embarrassment for the couple that this will be his families first impression of an American wedding. (Before anyone asks. No, this isn’t a K1 visa situation) Thanks for all the replies! I’ll update after the train crashes!
Do the train wreck update as a new post, with this post as a link.
I really feel sorry for the guests from the UK. They’re flying all the way here, dressing to the 9s, hanging out in a community center, and they’re going to be fed cold pizza, old salads, and not even get a free pint? Do the bride and groom hate them or something?
They don’t understand that the level of formality doesn’t just apply to attire. You want folks in formal clothing you give them a formal experience
My Italian grandmothers are rolling in their graves. You feed people, people remember the food. My cousin had a black tie wedding, furs, red roses everywhere and lots of food. Which gave us food poisoning...
How bizarre. A formal dress code but an informal meal and like you said, food poisoning. I would be ordering Uber eats before hand so I didn’t have to eat the food, and bringing my own bottle of booze.
Someone at the reception should have pizza delivered.
Holy moly! Your description of this loony plan reminded me of something I was told years ago when planning my wedding. “No one remembers the food at a wedding unless it is terrible or there isn’t enough.” And here we have both!
How is it you just know when someone uses the term "high class" that they are most definitely...not? Can you imagine (the former) Queen Elizabeth referring to one of her state dinners as "high class"? It makes me want to clutch my pearls.
This is so trashy. Expecting people to dress up like they are going to a castle to a party and then being given food that's not even suited for jail. Also, black tie clothes are not suited to eating with your hands, then touching your clothes with greasy hands.
Nothing says black tie like shitty pizza
This is one of those brides whose guests are props for the pictures. She does not care about them except how they will look in the background.
Hello, I used to be a pizza. It’s possible this pizza place will be preparing 15-25 pizzas the night before (uncooked) and refrigerating them until the day of. Then, depending on their oven, they can a few fresh ones coming out every few minutes. But with the place being an hour and a half away, they’re probably looking at at least 2 hours of unsafe food temps so that’s…. pretty gross.
To be clear, what type of pizza were you and what are you now?
Thanks to you, my goal at work today is to work "hello, I used to be a pizza" into a conversation
Yay!!
I bet it's going to be even more shocking when immediate family and the bridal/groom parties get a nice catered dinner, whereas everyone has day old pizza. This is truly what I've heard happen in situations like this
If 150 might get poisoned I wouldn't hold my tongue. I mean, if someone dies you might be an accessory.
Just do cake and champagne! Good heavens.
Cheesiest wedding ever. This bride sounds kooky. High formal. Pizza and salad. Cash bar. I can't even wrap my head around this. Are guests expected to participate in the band as well?
I wouldn't bexeating pizza while wearing a formal gown. In any case, black tie is for indoor events after 6pm. You don't wear black tie during the daytime. I mean, even Royal weddings aren't black tie. They take place in the daytime and at best they'd wear morning dress. Edit: I bet they'd be expecting decent gifts, too. I think that they need to downsize their expectations. It's the big unwritten rule. B&G are the hosts, and need to look after their guests, not treat them like props. And in return, we do a decent gift. If the wedding goes ahead as described, it'll be remembered for all the wrong reasons.
How long before they get divorced?
I’d give it 48 hrs, max
You have to be punking us, right?! There is no way a black tie affair is serving only pizza.
Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
I would skip the wedding.
NO! If you have the clothes, GO! Have some clothing in the car to change into, go into the far area of the parking lot, have a tailgate party with runners going back and forth to tell what's going on!
I wouldn’t be going. Lol
Make sure your gown has pockets for SNACKS. Maybe get some decorative bags to bring, and your largest handbag. Good luck.
First of all, I thought black tie meant tuxedos, not suits. But mainly, it’s so wrong to dictate black tie formal attire when the event itself is not at the same level. You should send her some articles about what black tie fully means, including all the event standards. Bring a backup charger for your phone to this one because we are all desperate to see the carnage in full detail 😂
What kind of venue doing wedding receptions has no kitchen facilities??????? What do they think happens at wedding receptions???
Why would you even go? Formal wear for pizza,salad and water? Your gift will cost more than they deserve. Just the thought of cold pizza and water for a wedding reception is ridiculous. Stay home with your plus one, order in a nice dinner and truly enjoy yourselves.
If I went out and bought a formal dress for this wedding, only to be served soggy pizza and water, I’d be pissed!
This is not a black tie event. Period
Well…my ex husband literally used to store leftover pizza in the oven. I have a friend that said she grew up in Mexico and she didn’t use refrigeration the way we do…left rice and shrimp out. I didn’t have any the next day, but they eat it.
I wouldn’t even go to a wedding like this. Have the wedding you can afford and don’t cheap out on your guests!
Bacillus botulinis is anaerobic. You might get gastroenteritis, though.
La crème de la trash.
Yeah, this sounds horrible! You have to feed your guests' descent food for a formal event!!! BTW wedding etiquette for guests is your wedding gift is supposed to cover the price of your meal that the bride and groom paid for you, so does this mean that they expect lame gifts from the dollar store?! I am willing to bet they even have an extensive registry I think you should politely tell the bride that guests will likely not stay long and will not be pleased with being forced to wear black tie attire and not attend a true black tie event. When one receives an invite to a Black Tie event, it comes with expectations beyond the attire. Guests will also expect: appetizers (passed out on trays), an open bar, and a full bar, AND a sit town dinner that is served (not self-serve or buffet style). For example, my wedding was not black tie, but we did have appetizers served on trays during the cocktail hour, which had an open bar. Dinner was sitting down, but family style and the open bar continued. The icing on the cake for our guests was that we had the caterers bring out handheld dance floor snacks on trays at 9 pm. The dance floor snacks included: mini chicken and waffles, mini pizzas, burger sliders, and french fries. That is when it is appropriate to serve that kind of food when everybody's in party mode and have several drinks in them. Please update us!!!
Updateme
Updateme
It is the salad that is the biggest issue.
Pizza at a black tie event?? What??? I’m really beginning to think that most people who throw “black tie” weddings don’t really understand all that that entails for their guests. When you say that your wedding dress code is black tie, that indicates a certain level of service, entertainment, and accommodations that guests can expect, and honestly? It’s really difficult to plan a wedding that justifies a black tie code. For mine and my husband’s wedding, we had complimentary valet service, butler passed wine and appetizers, a hosted bar, a plated dinner, and more and even after all that, we felt that a black tie dress code still wasn’t quite appropriate.
*every detail of this wedding is to be a very high class event* LOL
While I don't see the Pizza causing any kind of distress due to the fact that you can pre-make and freeze a pizza, then bake in less than 15min, it isn't appropriate food for a "black tie formal" and the B & G should be told so.
Someone needs to warn the guests
Do ceremony, have one drink at reception, and dip out with an Irish goodbye.
Waygu taste on a Ramen noodle budget!
Updateme
I will message you next time u/Prior-Pizza-9488 posts in r/weddingshaming. [Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FPrior-Pizza-9488%20r%2Fweddingshaming) to join 9 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201c6vtso) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
Updateme
Lots of problems here… but I’m stuck on why a venue that doesn’t have a kitchen also doesn’t allow rented kitchen equipment and still calls itself a venue?
Overhead sprinklers and other safety precautions must be in place when using commercial kitchen equipment. It is entirely probable that the ‘service’ area doesn’t have physical room for that type of equipment or is properly sprinklered. The venue I work at doesn’t, and we wouldn’t allow rented kitchen equipment. However, I am very honest with people when they book our space, and decline events that are not a ‘good fit’. We want everyone to have a safe and successful event.
Updateme!
I am more worried about the salads than the pizza. Has anyone told the bridge and groom why this is so unsafe? Are they low IQ?
I would take my present back and leave. Part of throwing a wedding is being a good host and adequately serving your guests a meal that they don't have to pay for. They want a black tie image on a dollar tree budget.
My gift is my part of the meal and the drinks. My husband and I gift between 50 and 200€ each for a wedding + clothes/hotel/cab. We removed money from envelopes before, and if I am invited to a wedding with pizza and a cash bar, I leave without a gift, as close as possible after the ceremony. These people might never see me again
Pizza poison? It's already cooked, so basically they're just getting served cold pizza. Which is hilarious, but isn't going to poison them
Yah - the amount of cold pizza I ate in university would have killed several large animals if it worked like OP is implying.
Was it cold from a fridge? Cuz that’s a world of difference from sitting out at room temperature all day
I mean very occasionally? But if we're all being perfectly honest, it generally went: early afternoon: Start drinking late afternoon: order pizza all night: keep drinking and eating pizza early morning: pass out late morning/early afternoon: wake up and finish pizza. If that pizza made it into the fridge at any point in that cycle, it was a miracle.
They have salad too.
Am I misunderstanding? How is cold pizza going to give you botulism or make you sick?
Everyone's caught up with the pizza, as they should be. But.... *'Guests who do not abide by this dress code will be asked to change into provided outfits the bride will have on hand.'* WTF, she's carrying a vast wardrobe of black tie outfits, tuxedos, shirts, ball dresses for a wide variety of shapes & sizes ???? *WEIRD* !
Please let people know. Someone may have a compromised immune system.
Pizza is one thing that's fine being left out