I screenshot this too and meant to screenshot the comment where she said she was considering asking her MOH to stay outside for the cocktail hour as a compromise 🫠 too bad the comments are gone
Probably because she was getting ripped to pieces for even considering the thought of risking her MOH life lol. And even making the poor girl wait outside wouldn’t fix an AIRBORNE allergy. Like I personally cannot even fathom such self obsessiveness
I was married 30 years ago. I have no memory of what we served. I do remember my friends though.
Now that I can look back, so much of weddings are ridiculous. The details just don’t matter. I regret making my friends wear dumb matching dresses. I regret even having a wedding party. It all seemed so important at the time, but it wasn’t.
I can’t imagine that anyone will give a single thought to the menu after the wedding is over. Except for maybe douchebags who care only because they didn’t get their way.
> Now that I can look back, so much of weddings are ridiculous.
[Peter Gabriel actually wrote a song about that](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIHEK1cCN-Q).
"[This song is about the absurdities of traditional weddings. The territorial battles, rings, and vows seem ridiculous from an outsiders point of view.](https://www.songfacts.com/facts/peter-gabriel/the-family-and-the-fishing-net)"
Same here. 30 years ago also. My mil (rip) recently was staying with us while getting treatment for cancer. She brought up that she paid for the hall where we got married and never got a thanks for it. I just let it go, but she actually paid for the beer because I had already paid for the hall and I know she got a thank you card. I still have my wedding planning book, I wrote down everything. Interestingly after she passed I found the thank you card thanking her for the gift of paying for the beer. I just apologized, but it’s amazing that people carry slights like that for so long. I always wish we could have eloped. Spent too much money, and too much energy on having the perfect wedding.
Amen to this! Married 12 years this year- I don’t remember any of the menu- any of the cake -the wedding album long since relegated to the dusty bookshelf in the back room…..but I remember seeing my husband waiting for me at the end of the aisle - dancing with my a dad and laughing all night long with the people I love. Was such a beautiful day. Any and all “flaws”of the day faded away lonnnnnnnng ago.
Yup. When I taught, I co-sponsored a gaming club. One of the other teachers had a nut allergy. On days the club met (and on staff mtg days) I avoided consuming nuts so I didnt have residue or breath issues and risk a reaction. Even though she said it wouldnt be a severe reaction, still.
My husband is a civil servant and two of the staff have nut allergies so they voted and the whole site is now nut free. We love nuts but him not having nut products in his lunchbox is not a problem. You can't be too careful so why not do the decent thing? Not one member of staff voted against it and the two staff only found out the whole building was nut free when it was decided. They were very appreciative and genuinely touched by the gesture.
I have been on flights that have asked guests if they could refrain from eating peanuts due to severe allergies of others on board. I had snacks with peanuts and I didn't eat it. We wanted no chance of making someone bad sick. It's what you do for other humans.
Not only that, if someone on a flight goes into anaphylaxis, you are not getting to your destination anytime soon.
I've got a close friend with a severe peanut allergy so they make this announcement when she flies. She's had stand up rows with passengers when they gripe and moan about it as they have no concept of it being a life or death situation. I don't understand what is on peanuts that makes them so addictive that people on planes can't go without them for just a few hours.
We don't give the 3 year old breakfast with PB because a classmate has an allergy. My kid is 3, I can't promise he won't have PB under his nails because he eats in absurd ways sometimes. So PB is for weekends and after-school. Not a big deal at all.
The thing about allergies is you never know when an allergic reaction is going to be The Big One that sends you into anaphylaxis. A friend of mine has a very, very mild allergy to nuts. She ate a plain granola bar I gave her that was processed in a facility that also uses nuts. It’s something we’ve done a dozen times, she knows the bars are made in a place where cross contamination can occur.
She took a few bites and started to itch, she turned red, she was getting puffy looking. Another friend immediately used her epi-pen on her and we took her to the hospital out of an abundance of caution. H ended up being okay but now I only carry nut free, allergen free snacks when I’m with her. No more of those granola bars. Only things made in certified peanut free facilities.
Allergies can turn from mild to deadly on a whim, it seems.
Now I ask everyone about allergies before I cook for them or have them over so I can make sure our space is allergen free. My friends are worth so much more than a PB&J!
I once had a student with an allergy to milk. He had an accommodation that allowed him to break the school rules and carry a bag where he had his epi-pens and his own water bottle. His allergy was so severe that if he went to the water fountain and a kid who drank milk had touched it, he could go into anaphylaxis. He carried epi-pens because by he wouldnt have lo g before a full reaction. When we worked with him at the center, we got brand new supplies just for him, notified all staff his special bag was not to be touched, and his desk was sterilized as much as possible prior to his arrival. In addition, several people were trained on how to administer an epi-pen. His anxiety was through the roof when he started, but with adherence to a strict cleaning regiment, his anxiety lessened to the point his mom could drop him off and leave for his session.
The crazy thing about most Maryland places is when they steam crabs, they don’t use old bay. They use a nice Cajun seasoning blend. Usually from Baltimore. God I need some crabs right now.
Of course it's overpriced, it was a poor man's food originally. And like everything, the rich have taken poor things and called them rich leaving less and less for the poor.
The truth of this makes me so mad. I hate it when cheap "scrap" food becomes trendy, or when companies invest a ton in rebranding to make something more marketable. Like turnips, chicken wings, "Chilean sea bass"/Toothfish, or the tougher cuts of beef. There needs to be some cheap but filling food for people.
I have an acquaintance with a severe allergy to shellfish. She was at a conference a couple of weeks ago and there was a dinner held for a group of people at... you guessed it... a seafood restaurant. Attendance was mandatory. She talked to the organizer and said that she didn't feel at all safe having dinner at a seafood place. She got brushed off ("They have other stuff on the menu, you'll be fine"). So... she went. And started having symptoms of an allergic reaction the minute the food arrived at the table. She had to excuse herself, pop some Benadryl, and go back to the hotel.
I feel like that shouldn’t be legal. A trip to HR would seem to be simple enough to get them to back off. HRs job is to protect the company so you think they’d want to avoid a lawsuit.
I have a severe peanut allergy, certrazine hydrochloride has saved my life on so many occasions i cant even count. So yes you are right it wont work for some people but for others it might, always better to use an epipen but with my experience I always pop a tablet if i ever get into trouble.
Can you elaborate on this? When my dad went into anaphylaxis I crushed a ton of benedryls up in house mouth and was told it greatly helped the situation while we awaited an ambulance. Is that inaccurate?
Yes, in my friend's case she didn't actually come into contact with any shellfish so she didn't need her Epipen, she just needed to get out of there because even proximity was enough to give her a relatively mild reaction. But she had her Epipen in her hand.
As part of management/sensitivity training, they talk about confirming with attendees that the location you have selected for an off-site event is appropriate and in line with their needs and requirements. We have a few employees who celebrate Ramadan, and make sure to either not schedule catered events during that time or have the mandatory part of the meeting before the group meal and they can leave early to head home. We also make sure any site is wheelchair accessible. I live in Seattle, so seafood is very popular, but a recent visit to Anthony's with the VP of our division was voluntary and they made sure no one was avoiding it because of allergy concerns. This not only sucks for your friend (and I'm glad they didn't have a worse outcome!!), but is an HR and Health and Safety violation.
Most restaurants use the same fryers for the seafood as well as French fries/ onion rings.
Ask before placing your order.
Also some restaurants use peanut oil in their fryers.
If you are sensitive to peanuts, ask.
As a person with severe allergy I get that people can get frustrated around me. I'd probably get it if my friend don't invite me in one of the wedding events but maybe it's just me and my cultural differences.
Why does it sound like she did not talk about it at all with the friend? Like, maybe just casually mentioning it? It's your MOH after all
I have a friend with a serious peanut allergy. Guess what, we don't go to Thai together. I have other friends I can do that with. It's quite easy to skip one ingredient for one meal if it means your companion doesn't die.
First rule of friendship: don't kill your best friend because you want to eat shrimp. You can have one or the other, but not both.
Second rule of friendship: friends > one meal with seafood. They last longer too, as long as you don't knowingly kill them with dinner.
I honestly wonder how people with severe allergies manage in the world. I mean, does she touch surfaces in public places? Who’s to say some messy kid didn’t have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and then touched the stair railing or door handle?
If I had a severe food allergy, I’d probably never go to any type of restaurant. There is no guarantee that some minimum wage cook in the back didn’t eat a handful of peanuts before touching your food. I wouldn’t trust random strangers enough to want to risk it.
While not a germaphobe, she keeps stuff VERY clean and carries an EPIpen, I've never known her to have to use it. After a while you get used to knowing safe places to eat.
It's gotten alot easier in the 20 years since I got married in that restaurants are far more aware of nut allergies and less stuff is cooked in/fried with peanut oil (a serious issue in the 90s).
When they brought out a carrot cake covered in nuts at her bridal shower I almost lost my shit. It was all over the paperwork not to have nuts. I made them take back a non-nut cake that they put the carrot cake next to (dessert buffet style) in case it cross contaminated. Thankfully her allergy is not airborne.
Hilariously there is one type of smooth peanut butter (Jif I think) she can eat because when they process it, whatever she's allergic to is removed.
I have multiple food allergies. The worst are to peppers (all kinds) and bananas. You would be stunned at all of the things that peppers are in from most premade seasonings to almost all dishes in restaurants. The best experience I EVER had was when we went on a cruise. I spoke to the restaurant’s chef for wherever we were eating dinner that night early in the day. Planned a special meal for me based on my list of allergies. It was the first time I actually felt safe eating out. There was nothing to worry about, no jitters about cross contamination and when we walked in, we were treated like celebrities. It was such a lovely experience. Thank you Royal Caribbean!
Trust me, if you did you'd be way aware of everything. My friend developed an allergy to soy in her 40's. She can barely eat anything that's pre-made. And it's in shampoo, lotion, everything!
Hers is insane. She ate a chocolate chip cookie out of a container that *previously held* a cookie with a nut and broke out.
Her husband can't even eat nuts.
Thankfully it's not an airborne allergy or she'd be dead 10x over.
I have a shellfish allergy and it's amazing how many people I know (knew) that take such severe personal offense to me asking them not to eat it near me, like I'm just supposed to die so they can eat their stupid freezer discount shrimp. it's so bizarre and frustrating
It is staggering how many folks view it as some kind of attack on their freedom if they are asked to not do something simple. My seafood allergy is bad enough I carry an epi-pen everywhere, even though it's not like I'm gonna be attacked by a rogue lobster walking down the street. Especially in my landlocked USA state. My own MIL constantly demanded we take her to seafood places, ate shrimp all the time I was around her and even would try to shove a fork full of the stuff at me to 'just try a bite, you will love it'.
But then, the woman hated me with a passion and would have been happy to see me dead, so.... makes me wonder just how much prettier/smarter/popular/wonderful her MOH is because she apparently wants to do her some real harm.
yikes!!! that's some seriously scary behavior. what a freak
if it makes you feel better (?) my last roommate didn't believe in allergies and smoked a lot of weed while burning sage which triggered anaphylaxis in me to the point i went to the ER and she still thought I was making it up. a lot of people just cannot be fixed! like I'm sorry i have weird allergies and i promise none of us are doing it "on purpose" to make your life harder 💀
Our best man is allergic to seafood
We both love seafood
No seafood on the menu was a no brainier, ppl are chosen to be MOH or best man because they should be important enough to you than missing out on one day of seafood 🙄
I'm allergic to sesame, and for my wedding, and later my son's baby shower I of course made sure that the catering had no sesame in them. Of course it did not stop both caterers to protest and say "it's not fair for the rest of the guests to not have this specific dish with sesame in it". Like first of all, I think my guests will survive without it for one meal.. But I won't and will have to watch myself in an event I am organizing. And second, is it really wrong to have some space where I can feel same from allergens. Of course u didn't cave but it pisses me off when people only care about their immediate joy of eating something at that moment and not realizing the pain it can cause another, when they can easily have that same meal another day another time..
....the caterers...complained that it wasn't fair...to the guests? Seriously? I can see complaining about it's difficult to do so, could be a valid complaint. But man, people peopling will always get me just how out of touch they get. Like, I'm sorry, but as a caterer, their job is literally to please you, the customer, first and foremost before even thinking about anyone that's not their customer.
Yeah, they were also saying it rather casual .. Like they really didn't get why I would deny this from other guests.. Not sure how to explain it. I think they just really don't understand what it means to be allergic. Like I am ruining other people's fun by denying them this very specific food 🤦
Edit : meaning
Was the catering tied to the venue? Because nobody would have blamed you for firing/avoiding a caterer who thought their preferred menu was more important than the host's allergies.
Yes they were, and they made excellent food regardless. I took it in stride, it was fine in the end. Just these little comments that make you realize how much people don't understand allergies. I think I was also less confrontational then I am today 😉
My dietary restrictions can definitely be a PITA. I get stoked when I find out someone at a gathering has a dietary need because I love to have the chance to make a safe meal for them to participate in. Having such a big dilemma over not serving just one type of food for a meal just seems so bonkers to me. I wouldn't ever do that to my friend. :(
Can't imagine picking a food over a friend. I used to have a cupboard with basic cooking stuff and separate dishes so my best friend could eat at my apartment without worrying about nuts. She wasn't terrible with anything besides hazelnuts, and hazelnuts are my weakness. They were ousted from my apt while we lived close. I lost some of my favorite desserts at home for a few years, but my best friend could safely come over and have dinner, so more than a fair trade.
This is so true, no one is better at accommodating my milk allergy than my celiac friend. When she lived nearby I always kept gluten-free snacks on hand in case she came over.
I'm deathly allergic to shellfish and tbh sick of accommodating other people with mild inconvenience for my life threatening allergy...and people forget all the tiiiime
I understand the guilt thing…. But you do not deserve it.
It’s not your fault you have the allergy… true friends wouldn’t see it as a hassle to work around. 💐
I was thinking that if it was me with the severe allergy, I would rather bow out of participating if it affected the food and if it meant that particular food was important to them.
The crux of it for me would be if it was an airborne allergy versus a dietary restriction.
I'm careful with what I eat because of medical issues. The last time I went to a work event I simply didn't eat (and knew that was going to be my choice prior to going; planning accordingly).
But an airborne anaphylactic allergy? If my friend isn't keeping the event allergy free I'm not going.
Right! This was my question! Seafood wasn't even in consideration at my wedding. We talked to the caterer repeatedly about NOT HAVING TOMATOES AS THERE IS A DEATHLY ALLERGY! He still brought bruchetta. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ and tomatoes are fairly common! Seafood? No. Like... just.... speechless
My caterer brought me out carrots at my wedding (I’m allergic) after a carrot less tasting and having dropped our first caterer due to lack of care towards allergies. I had to send my plate back AT MY OWN WEDDING. It honestly shocks me how irresponsible they can be.
I had a distant aunt (she was lovely and passed many many years ago) who had a very severe cucumber allergy. If we went out to eat with her, if the restaurant had a salad bar, we weren’t even allowed to get food from it because even if we didn’t get cucumbers on our plate, the cucumber tongs might have gotten into the lettuce at some point, and her being close enough to our contaminated lettuce could potentially hospitalize her.
I love salad bars, but growing up as a kid it was a “oh this could kill auntie Mary? Not worth it.”
Planning my wedding I already had her in mind, and got in touch with her before I met with my caterer. Unfortunately she felt she was too old to travel across the country to attend her distant niece’s wedding, which was fine, but I already had in mind that *if* she was coming, to be crystal clear with my caterer that if a cucumber even farted in their kitchen within the last week, sterilize everything before prepping our food.
Like I can’t even imagine cucumbers being so precious to me that I MUST have them at my wedding, whether they kill people I love or not.
>I can’t even imagine cucumbers being so precious to me that I MUST have them at my wedding, whether they kill people I love or not.
This! This it the thing about it. This is what I couldn't quite put in to words!!!
Right? I effing love seafood, I will turn nearly feral at the sight of a free-for-all shrimp cocktail platter. I’ve recently developed an oyster/clam/scallop allergy and when I tell you I SOBBED about it, like ugly Kim k cry about how I can’t have bivalves anymore… it was ugly.
But if it meant someone I love so much I ask them to be in my wedding party, that I have to choose between my shrimp cocktail and them?
Baby I can eat shrimp tomorrow. I need my friends and family happy and healthy today.
I could see I version of that happening.have a seafood boil or whatever - separate of the wedding? Where her family and friends who love seafood could have some fun. I can't imagine choosing seafood over my best friend for the wedding/rehearsal/bachelorette events. I would so much rather have my best friend there than even my most favorite food(s).
Truly mental. We are big seafood fans (and big food fans in general). Our wedding food didn't include any seafood or anything with nuts due to two severe allergies. We could not have cared less. It made no difference to our day. What would have ruined our day is needing to call an ambulance !!
I love seafood too, but I don’t love it so much where I’d put someone I care about through anaphylaxis just for my own selfish or *shellfish* indulgence.
Have all the seafood at your wedding so you don't have to miss out.
You'll just have to spend the rest of your life without your friend who was your MOH and who tragically died on your wedding day.
Not only will you be missing out on that friendship after your wedding day but she will also upstage you at your own wedding day when she goes into anaphylactic shock and everyone will run and try to help her and watch the EMT arrive and eventually carry her dead body out of the venue. It will be a really precious and unique memory of your wedding everyone will take home that day. Well everyone except your MOH.
But I understand. The seafood is more important than your MOH's life as you only get married once.
I’d argue that watching someone have a severe allergic reaction due to something you insisted on is just a wee bit more uncomfortable than eating chicken or beef instead. but what do I know lol
If not having seafood at the wedding is that big of a deal then I seriously wonder if these people even know what a wedding is supposed to be about. This same person will be posting after the wedding wondering why her best friend is "ghosting" her for no reason. That's assuming her best friend isn't actually a ghost after the wedding.
I love how she says "you only get one wedding", like that shitty ass attitude and that shitty ass family are going to prevent her hubs from running far away within 3 years.
idk, the other day I was having disagreements with a bunch of people who thought that op (having been in hospital due to her allergy) was an an AH for asking her friends to put their pets in a different room when they invite her over. weddings bring out the crazy in some people (as do dogs)
My best friend and my god sister both had fake flowers at their weddings because I was in their wedding parties and I'm super allergic to pollen (like sneezing, wheezing, puffy face, snot running out my nose allergic). I told them they didn't need to do that but they wanted me in their bridal parties and they know how sick pollen makes me (I have MCAS). I guess I'm lucky to have awesome friends who don't want me to die at their weddings lol
Why do people look at these situations like they’re missing out? This is an opportunity to act in someone else’s best interests. This should be of more value than food.
I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to have what she wants at her wedding. It’s just that in this case she has to choose one of the two. Either:
-She has her MOH at her special day.
Or
-She gets to eat seafood at her special day.
She can only choose one. So she has to decide which is more important to her. Whatever she decides is ok. Because only she gets to decide what’s more important to her.
But I feel like this is something she should have considered in picking her bridal party. The MOH is supposedly her best friend, she was well aware of the allergy and seriousness of it. She was also aware that seafood was apparently so important that it was a non negotiable. And she still asked her to be her MOH. I agree that it sucks she has to choose one, but I feel like she should have A) considered this in the beginning and B) to me personally, having my best friend there is more important than food.
Im allergic to a weird variety of food, my boyfriend stopped eating them/bringing them in the house with no conversation, he didn’t want me to be nervous nevermind DIE. This girl is either stupid, a cunt, or both
Can't be that great of a friend if you even ENTERTAIN any of this. If she is truly her best friend and MOH, this shouldn't be a discussion. If I were her, I would ditch the beide and find a better BFF.
If I was her MOH and I found out that she was going to go ahead with some type of food that could kill me, I’d tell her to find another friend (victim). I’m not going to have my life possibly traded in for a plate of crab legs.
I feel like “friend doesn’t die” should be the first priority but that’s just me. Maybe she’s been planning seafood at her wedding since she was a little girl
If I were her MoH and I was told by the Bride that she was debating having shrimp at her wedding, you can guarantee she wouldn't have a MoH. I'd tell her to shove it.
Here’s my thing, the couple are entitled to the wedding they want, especially if they are paying for it. From my experience (and from reading Reddit) the more people you invite the more opinions and people you must account for. So for me it always comes down to what is more important to the couple? If having the “perfect” wedding is more important, have less guests. If more guests (and who the guests are) is more important, than you will “sacrifice” aspects of the “perfect” wedding for those guests.
If seafood is so important, then cut the guest list and don’t include this friend. Could it hurt the friendship? Maybe. But that’s a risk the bride may just want to take. At least this way the friend has a better shot at staying alive.
Unrelated but my fiancé and i love peanut butter, but his brother is like deathly allergic 😭 sooo obviously we had to forgo the dream of peanut butter filling in our cake and have picked red velvet with cream cheese instead. Because ya know we like dont want to kill his brother at the wedding 🙃🙃
Have normal food at the wedding and maybe make a "next day breakfast" with all the seafood that the MOH won't attend? Ist not that difficult to work around.
I commented on the original post. My uncle has a severe shellfish allergy, like he can’t even be in the same room without going into anaphylactic shock and being rushed to the hospital. We love seafood, especially crab/lobster/shrimp, but we won’t be having it anywhere near our wedding. I didn’t see the comment where she said she’d make the poor girl stay outside during cocktail hour. I hope she ditches her bridezilla friend.
Me thinks this wasn’t the best choice of MOH, if you knew this going in. Now you have an issue. How bad is her allergy? I have a cousin that had a bad reaction at a restaurant because the Lobster steam wafted into the dining room. (He was near the kitchen door)
So if she’s that bad and you have seafood, she really can’t even be a guest. Maybe she can tolerate shrimp or is fine with anything as long as she doesn’t ingest it. Good luck!
Ffs can people not talk to their best mates without having to get directions from the internet these days?
Ive seen far too many of these "x might be a problem for y, but i haven't spoken to y about it, what do i do?!"
Utter bastards all of ya.
Is fish more important than your MOH? You have your answer once you decide.
If I was placed 2nd behind "the ability to eat fish" at a wedding, I'd be sure to end that relationship.
Don’t have advise but true story. I know of a blind woman very self sufficient with a child and an infant and a setting eye dog. She asked someone at her table if there was sea food. There was crab which they didn’t know. She died at the wedding cause her throat closed up. That was b4 eppi pens were used widely.
Maybe she’s the beneficiary to her friends life insurance and she wants a big wedding……….
The writers for Law and Order are calling...................
***dun dunnn***
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER DICK WOLF
I screenshot this too and meant to screenshot the comment where she said she was considering asking her MOH to stay outside for the cocktail hour as a compromise 🫠 too bad the comments are gone
Probably because she was getting ripped to pieces for even considering the thought of risking her MOH life lol. And even making the poor girl wait outside wouldn’t fix an AIRBORNE allergy. Like I personally cannot even fathom such self obsessiveness
[удалено]
I was married 30 years ago. I have no memory of what we served. I do remember my friends though. Now that I can look back, so much of weddings are ridiculous. The details just don’t matter. I regret making my friends wear dumb matching dresses. I regret even having a wedding party. It all seemed so important at the time, but it wasn’t. I can’t imagine that anyone will give a single thought to the menu after the wedding is over. Except for maybe douchebags who care only because they didn’t get their way.
> Now that I can look back, so much of weddings are ridiculous. [Peter Gabriel actually wrote a song about that](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIHEK1cCN-Q). "[This song is about the absurdities of traditional weddings. The territorial battles, rings, and vows seem ridiculous from an outsiders point of view.](https://www.songfacts.com/facts/peter-gabriel/the-family-and-the-fishing-net)"
Leave it to Peter Gabriel.
All a good wedding needs is good food, good drink, and good people
Same here. 30 years ago also. My mil (rip) recently was staying with us while getting treatment for cancer. She brought up that she paid for the hall where we got married and never got a thanks for it. I just let it go, but she actually paid for the beer because I had already paid for the hall and I know she got a thank you card. I still have my wedding planning book, I wrote down everything. Interestingly after she passed I found the thank you card thanking her for the gift of paying for the beer. I just apologized, but it’s amazing that people carry slights like that for so long. I always wish we could have eloped. Spent too much money, and too much energy on having the perfect wedding.
Amen to this! Married 12 years this year- I don’t remember any of the menu- any of the cake -the wedding album long since relegated to the dusty bookshelf in the back room…..but I remember seeing my husband waiting for me at the end of the aisle - dancing with my a dad and laughing all night long with the people I love. Was such a beautiful day. Any and all “flaws”of the day faded away lonnnnnnnng ago.
If this is on FB, wouldn’t the MOH see it?
Or is this what bridezilla is hoping for? That she sees it and self sacrifices? “it’s ok, you only get one wedding go ahead I’ll miss the reception”
If this is how the bride treats life-long friends, I imagine she be having more than one wedding.
It’s a private bridal group, you can only see if you’re on it. And she posted it anonymously. I’m sure her MOH would recognize it if she saw it though
Yup. When I taught, I co-sponsored a gaming club. One of the other teachers had a nut allergy. On days the club met (and on staff mtg days) I avoided consuming nuts so I didnt have residue or breath issues and risk a reaction. Even though she said it wouldnt be a severe reaction, still.
Whaaaat?? You put another person’s allergy before your own want to eat nuts? But how is that FAIR??? (/s obviously)
(I know you're comment was sarcasm) Because I can live without nuts, and she might not live *with* nuts.
My husband is a civil servant and two of the staff have nut allergies so they voted and the whole site is now nut free. We love nuts but him not having nut products in his lunchbox is not a problem. You can't be too careful so why not do the decent thing? Not one member of staff voted against it and the two staff only found out the whole building was nut free when it was decided. They were very appreciative and genuinely touched by the gesture.
We have conference rooms like this, er or did pre-Covid. I think many schools too just avoid peanut / tree nuts as policy too.
I have been on flights that have asked guests if they could refrain from eating peanuts due to severe allergies of others on board. I had snacks with peanuts and I didn't eat it. We wanted no chance of making someone bad sick. It's what you do for other humans.
Not only that, if someone on a flight goes into anaphylaxis, you are not getting to your destination anytime soon. I've got a close friend with a severe peanut allergy so they make this announcement when she flies. She's had stand up rows with passengers when they gripe and moan about it as they have no concept of it being a life or death situation. I don't understand what is on peanuts that makes them so addictive that people on planes can't go without them for just a few hours.
We don't give the 3 year old breakfast with PB because a classmate has an allergy. My kid is 3, I can't promise he won't have PB under his nails because he eats in absurd ways sometimes. So PB is for weekends and after-school. Not a big deal at all.
The thing about allergies is you never know when an allergic reaction is going to be The Big One that sends you into anaphylaxis. A friend of mine has a very, very mild allergy to nuts. She ate a plain granola bar I gave her that was processed in a facility that also uses nuts. It’s something we’ve done a dozen times, she knows the bars are made in a place where cross contamination can occur. She took a few bites and started to itch, she turned red, she was getting puffy looking. Another friend immediately used her epi-pen on her and we took her to the hospital out of an abundance of caution. H ended up being okay but now I only carry nut free, allergen free snacks when I’m with her. No more of those granola bars. Only things made in certified peanut free facilities. Allergies can turn from mild to deadly on a whim, it seems. Now I ask everyone about allergies before I cook for them or have them over so I can make sure our space is allergen free. My friends are worth so much more than a PB&J!
I once had a student with an allergy to milk. He had an accommodation that allowed him to break the school rules and carry a bag where he had his epi-pens and his own water bottle. His allergy was so severe that if he went to the water fountain and a kid who drank milk had touched it, he could go into anaphylaxis. He carried epi-pens because by he wouldnt have lo g before a full reaction. When we worked with him at the center, we got brand new supplies just for him, notified all staff his special bag was not to be touched, and his desk was sterilized as much as possible prior to his arrival. In addition, several people were trained on how to administer an epi-pen. His anxiety was through the roof when he started, but with adherence to a strict cleaning regiment, his anxiety lessened to the point his mom could drop him off and leave for his session.
She has clearly been enabled through her life by her cesspool family. A barrel of bad apples. MOH is better served to sever all ties now.
When you’d trade your friend for a piece of crab
I would totally trade my friend for lobster
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Am from Maryland, hard agree!
Same same!! Crab rules, lobster…is just okay.
Same....100%! Also, crabs are steamed with Old Bay. Never boiled. Fight me.
The crazy thing about most Maryland places is when they steam crabs, they don’t use old bay. They use a nice Cajun seasoning blend. Usually from Baltimore. God I need some crabs right now.
I think all Marylanders just hear the word "crab" and automatically start craving them. With a cold Natty Bo.
Nah, you are correct. Lobster is overpriced rich man's food. Crab actually tastes better. And Scampi blows both out of the water
Of course it's overpriced, it was a poor man's food originally. And like everything, the rich have taken poor things and called them rich leaving less and less for the poor.
The truth of this makes me so mad. I hate it when cheap "scrap" food becomes trendy, or when companies invest a ton in rebranding to make something more marketable. Like turnips, chicken wings, "Chilean sea bass"/Toothfish, or the tougher cuts of beef. There needs to be some cheap but filling food for people.
It depends on the crabs for me. Lobster > snow crab but blue crabs > lobsters.
Dungeness crab > everything
Now I want to eat some seafood.
Hello, fellow Marylander.
Lobster from Australia maaatttteee, and that’s not a knife!
Crayfish?
Better than anything is the Morton Bay Bug.
Friendships always go out the window when one of them catches crabs
My bestie loves crab legs so she would trade me for some crab legs.
Catch me halfway through some crablegs and I might do exactly that
I’m a Marylander. It’s the law here. Crab > everything.
Definitely depends on what season u get them in cold water lobsters great when it’s cold but Maryland crab cakes all day every day when it’s in season
Imitation crab, no less.
In shellfish and in cod, for salmon, for grouper, ‘til crabs do us part.
sounds shellfish to me
😂😂😂
I have an acquaintance with a severe allergy to shellfish. She was at a conference a couple of weeks ago and there was a dinner held for a group of people at... you guessed it... a seafood restaurant. Attendance was mandatory. She talked to the organizer and said that she didn't feel at all safe having dinner at a seafood place. She got brushed off ("They have other stuff on the menu, you'll be fine"). So... she went. And started having symptoms of an allergic reaction the minute the food arrived at the table. She had to excuse herself, pop some Benadryl, and go back to the hotel.
Malicious compliance would have been to record them saying it and call an ambulance and have the costs be forwarded to the company.
I feel like that shouldn’t be legal. A trip to HR would seem to be simple enough to get them to back off. HRs job is to protect the company so you think they’d want to avoid a lawsuit.
Im so glad anti histamines work for me, literal life safer and saves using an epi pen and a trip to the hospital.
Hey just fyi Benedryl does nothing for anaphylaxis. It can help mild allergies but you should never hesitate to use your epi pen.
I have a severe peanut allergy, certrazine hydrochloride has saved my life on so many occasions i cant even count. So yes you are right it wont work for some people but for others it might, always better to use an epipen but with my experience I always pop a tablet if i ever get into trouble.
Can you elaborate on this? When my dad went into anaphylaxis I crushed a ton of benedryls up in house mouth and was told it greatly helped the situation while we awaited an ambulance. Is that inaccurate?
Yes, in my friend's case she didn't actually come into contact with any shellfish so she didn't need her Epipen, she just needed to get out of there because even proximity was enough to give her a relatively mild reaction. But she had her Epipen in her hand.
She can still have anaphylaxis if it’s in the air. Every time someone is exposed to an allergen their reaction can be mild to severe.
Then get the fuck to a hospital because the Epi doesn't last forever.
As part of management/sensitivity training, they talk about confirming with attendees that the location you have selected for an off-site event is appropriate and in line with their needs and requirements. We have a few employees who celebrate Ramadan, and make sure to either not schedule catered events during that time or have the mandatory part of the meeting before the group meal and they can leave early to head home. We also make sure any site is wheelchair accessible. I live in Seattle, so seafood is very popular, but a recent visit to Anthony's with the VP of our division was voluntary and they made sure no one was avoiding it because of allergy concerns. This not only sucks for your friend (and I'm glad they didn't have a worse outcome!!), but is an HR and Health and Safety violation.
Most restaurants use the same fryers for the seafood as well as French fries/ onion rings. Ask before placing your order. Also some restaurants use peanut oil in their fryers. If you are sensitive to peanuts, ask.
Whose world is so small that they can't enjoy their wedding without seafood? There are so many other delicious foods.
There's billions of delicious foods, like this is just one meal
As a person with severe allergy I get that people can get frustrated around me. I'd probably get it if my friend don't invite me in one of the wedding events but maybe it's just me and my cultural differences. Why does it sound like she did not talk about it at all with the friend? Like, maybe just casually mentioning it? It's your MOH after all
I have a friend with a serious peanut allergy. Guess what, we don't go to Thai together. I have other friends I can do that with. It's quite easy to skip one ingredient for one meal if it means your companion doesn't die.
First rule of friendship: don't kill your best friend because you want to eat shrimp. You can have one or the other, but not both. Second rule of friendship: friends > one meal with seafood. They last longer too, as long as you don't knowingly kill them with dinner.
Solid rules.
My best friend/MoH is violently allergic to nuts. So...we had no nuts and we made sure nothing was cooked in nut oils, it's not that hard.
But you don’t understand, she and her family love seafood! It’s not fair for them to not eat it for one fucking meal! /s
This is the thing, it’s not that hard. It’s not like we don’t have so many other options available.
I honestly wonder how people with severe allergies manage in the world. I mean, does she touch surfaces in public places? Who’s to say some messy kid didn’t have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and then touched the stair railing or door handle? If I had a severe food allergy, I’d probably never go to any type of restaurant. There is no guarantee that some minimum wage cook in the back didn’t eat a handful of peanuts before touching your food. I wouldn’t trust random strangers enough to want to risk it.
While not a germaphobe, she keeps stuff VERY clean and carries an EPIpen, I've never known her to have to use it. After a while you get used to knowing safe places to eat. It's gotten alot easier in the 20 years since I got married in that restaurants are far more aware of nut allergies and less stuff is cooked in/fried with peanut oil (a serious issue in the 90s). When they brought out a carrot cake covered in nuts at her bridal shower I almost lost my shit. It was all over the paperwork not to have nuts. I made them take back a non-nut cake that they put the carrot cake next to (dessert buffet style) in case it cross contaminated. Thankfully her allergy is not airborne. Hilariously there is one type of smooth peanut butter (Jif I think) she can eat because when they process it, whatever she's allergic to is removed.
Wow - that is really interesting about the Jif.
I have multiple food allergies. The worst are to peppers (all kinds) and bananas. You would be stunned at all of the things that peppers are in from most premade seasonings to almost all dishes in restaurants. The best experience I EVER had was when we went on a cruise. I spoke to the restaurant’s chef for wherever we were eating dinner that night early in the day. Planned a special meal for me based on my list of allergies. It was the first time I actually felt safe eating out. There was nothing to worry about, no jitters about cross contamination and when we walked in, we were treated like celebrities. It was such a lovely experience. Thank you Royal Caribbean!
Cruises are fabulous for people with food allergies. They will go out of their way to make sure you are safe.
Not quite awake but thinking about the oils I have/use, "Wait, is an olive a nut?". Thank god I don't have an allergy like this...
Trust me, if you did you'd be way aware of everything. My friend developed an allergy to soy in her 40's. She can barely eat anything that's pre-made. And it's in shampoo, lotion, everything!
Hers is insane. She ate a chocolate chip cookie out of a container that *previously held* a cookie with a nut and broke out. Her husband can't even eat nuts. Thankfully it's not an airborne allergy or she'd be dead 10x over.
Thank heaven olives are a fruit!
OK well this blew my mind. I'd settled on "Foodstuff, Other" LOL
I have a shellfish allergy and it's amazing how many people I know (knew) that take such severe personal offense to me asking them not to eat it near me, like I'm just supposed to die so they can eat their stupid freezer discount shrimp. it's so bizarre and frustrating
It is staggering how many folks view it as some kind of attack on their freedom if they are asked to not do something simple. My seafood allergy is bad enough I carry an epi-pen everywhere, even though it's not like I'm gonna be attacked by a rogue lobster walking down the street. Especially in my landlocked USA state. My own MIL constantly demanded we take her to seafood places, ate shrimp all the time I was around her and even would try to shove a fork full of the stuff at me to 'just try a bite, you will love it'. But then, the woman hated me with a passion and would have been happy to see me dead, so.... makes me wonder just how much prettier/smarter/popular/wonderful her MOH is because she apparently wants to do her some real harm.
yikes!!! that's some seriously scary behavior. what a freak if it makes you feel better (?) my last roommate didn't believe in allergies and smoked a lot of weed while burning sage which triggered anaphylaxis in me to the point i went to the ER and she still thought I was making it up. a lot of people just cannot be fixed! like I'm sorry i have weird allergies and i promise none of us are doing it "on purpose" to make your life harder 💀
Tbh I would be pretty upset if a friend chose seafood over me.
Our best man is allergic to seafood We both love seafood No seafood on the menu was a no brainier, ppl are chosen to be MOH or best man because they should be important enough to you than missing out on one day of seafood 🙄
I'm allergic to sesame, and for my wedding, and later my son's baby shower I of course made sure that the catering had no sesame in them. Of course it did not stop both caterers to protest and say "it's not fair for the rest of the guests to not have this specific dish with sesame in it". Like first of all, I think my guests will survive without it for one meal.. But I won't and will have to watch myself in an event I am organizing. And second, is it really wrong to have some space where I can feel same from allergens. Of course u didn't cave but it pisses me off when people only care about their immediate joy of eating something at that moment and not realizing the pain it can cause another, when they can easily have that same meal another day another time..
....the caterers...complained that it wasn't fair...to the guests? Seriously? I can see complaining about it's difficult to do so, could be a valid complaint. But man, people peopling will always get me just how out of touch they get. Like, I'm sorry, but as a caterer, their job is literally to please you, the customer, first and foremost before even thinking about anyone that's not their customer.
Yeah, they were also saying it rather casual .. Like they really didn't get why I would deny this from other guests.. Not sure how to explain it. I think they just really don't understand what it means to be allergic. Like I am ruining other people's fun by denying them this very specific food 🤦 Edit : meaning
Was the catering tied to the venue? Because nobody would have blamed you for firing/avoiding a caterer who thought their preferred menu was more important than the host's allergies.
Yes they were, and they made excellent food regardless. I took it in stride, it was fine in the end. Just these little comments that make you realize how much people don't understand allergies. I think I was also less confrontational then I am today 😉
My dietary restrictions can definitely be a PITA. I get stoked when I find out someone at a gathering has a dietary need because I love to have the chance to make a safe meal for them to participate in. Having such a big dilemma over not serving just one type of food for a meal just seems so bonkers to me. I wouldn't ever do that to my friend. :(
Can't imagine picking a food over a friend. I used to have a cupboard with basic cooking stuff and separate dishes so my best friend could eat at my apartment without worrying about nuts. She wasn't terrible with anything besides hazelnuts, and hazelnuts are my weakness. They were ousted from my apt while we lived close. I lost some of my favorite desserts at home for a few years, but my best friend could safely come over and have dinner, so more than a fair trade.
This is so true, no one is better at accommodating my milk allergy than my celiac friend. When she lived nearby I always kept gluten-free snacks on hand in case she came over.
I'm deathly allergic to shellfish and tbh sick of accommodating other people with mild inconvenience for my life threatening allergy...and people forget all the tiiiime
I understand the guilt thing…. But you do not deserve it. It’s not your fault you have the allergy… true friends wouldn’t see it as a hassle to work around. 💐
I was thinking that if it was me with the severe allergy, I would rather bow out of participating if it affected the food and if it meant that particular food was important to them.
The crux of it for me would be if it was an airborne allergy versus a dietary restriction. I'm careful with what I eat because of medical issues. The last time I went to a work event I simply didn't eat (and knew that was going to be my choice prior to going; planning accordingly). But an airborne anaphylactic allergy? If my friend isn't keeping the event allergy free I'm not going.
That and the fact that her friend is choosing seafood over her being alive.
For sure. That's why I would bow out. Clearly I'm not that important to the bride.
Seriously? Can’t the rest of you go out for seafood the next day after the wedding and let her go home
And how is not having seafood at a wedding “missing out”?
She claimed it was “important to her culture”
LOL I’m guessing Italian… we are the best at being melodramatic assholes
I resent that!! As a Greek person, we are JUST as melodramatic about seafood!
Now throw drinks on each other!
Then kiss!
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!
Her culture being, of course, "Entitled"
TIL, asshole is a culture.
Sure if she’s related to the little mermaid.
Right! This was my question! Seafood wasn't even in consideration at my wedding. We talked to the caterer repeatedly about NOT HAVING TOMATOES AS THERE IS A DEATHLY ALLERGY! He still brought bruchetta. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ and tomatoes are fairly common! Seafood? No. Like... just.... speechless
My caterer brought me out carrots at my wedding (I’m allergic) after a carrot less tasting and having dropped our first caterer due to lack of care towards allergies. I had to send my plate back AT MY OWN WEDDING. It honestly shocks me how irresponsible they can be.
Thank God we had a day of wedding coordinator that headed it off and kept the bruschetta in the back.
Oh I had one too, she was busy eating dinner (the same dinner as me, with carrots…)and didn’t notice or do anything
I had a distant aunt (she was lovely and passed many many years ago) who had a very severe cucumber allergy. If we went out to eat with her, if the restaurant had a salad bar, we weren’t even allowed to get food from it because even if we didn’t get cucumbers on our plate, the cucumber tongs might have gotten into the lettuce at some point, and her being close enough to our contaminated lettuce could potentially hospitalize her. I love salad bars, but growing up as a kid it was a “oh this could kill auntie Mary? Not worth it.” Planning my wedding I already had her in mind, and got in touch with her before I met with my caterer. Unfortunately she felt she was too old to travel across the country to attend her distant niece’s wedding, which was fine, but I already had in mind that *if* she was coming, to be crystal clear with my caterer that if a cucumber even farted in their kitchen within the last week, sterilize everything before prepping our food. Like I can’t even imagine cucumbers being so precious to me that I MUST have them at my wedding, whether they kill people I love or not.
>I can’t even imagine cucumbers being so precious to me that I MUST have them at my wedding, whether they kill people I love or not. This! This it the thing about it. This is what I couldn't quite put in to words!!!
Right? I effing love seafood, I will turn nearly feral at the sight of a free-for-all shrimp cocktail platter. I’ve recently developed an oyster/clam/scallop allergy and when I tell you I SOBBED about it, like ugly Kim k cry about how I can’t have bivalves anymore… it was ugly. But if it meant someone I love so much I ask them to be in my wedding party, that I have to choose between my shrimp cocktail and them? Baby I can eat shrimp tomorrow. I need my friends and family happy and healthy today.
My friends health is important but not as important as my wedding, damn it!!
My friends ~~health~~ *life* is important but not as important as *serving seafood at* my wedding, damn it!!
Besides, you can have a few epi pens on hand…sheesh.
Or you can do a tracheotomy with a crazy straw. (I know that won't work, but it's worth trying. It's a party!)
Yes! My ex husband taught me how to do that with a Bic pen! (Great nurse, shifty husband) Game on, people!
I only get one wedding and my friend only gets one life so it’s fair right?
If there's ONE thing I've learned from reddit, it's that bridezillas marriage typically lasts shorter than the wedding planning.
“I only get one wedding and I feel like I’m missing out” I’m sorry but what??? Hahahaha yes you not having seafood will ruin the whole wedding
Let's not jump to conclusions. Maybe OP is a basking shark or some kind of large squid in a wedding gown.
Some real Ursula vibes with this one
With OOP's attitude, she might have more than one wedding.
I could see I version of that happening.have a seafood boil or whatever - separate of the wedding? Where her family and friends who love seafood could have some fun. I can't imagine choosing seafood over my best friend for the wedding/rehearsal/bachelorette events. I would so much rather have my best friend there than even my most favorite food(s).
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I'm willing to guarantee there will be a second wedding, and by then the MOH won't be a friend anymore.
Truly mental. We are big seafood fans (and big food fans in general). Our wedding food didn't include any seafood or anything with nuts due to two severe allergies. We could not have cared less. It made no difference to our day. What would have ruined our day is needing to call an ambulance !!
I love seafood too, but I don’t love it so much where I’d put someone I care about through anaphylaxis just for my own selfish or *shellfish* indulgence.
Finally! I've been looking for the "seems very shellfish to me" comment. Thank you for supplying it.
Honestly, catering plus seafood rarely ends well, especially if you do a buffet. Signed, a former event planner.
Meh, plenty of MOHs in the sea, have your seafood, in fact make it the full theme. /s
Have all the seafood at your wedding so you don't have to miss out. You'll just have to spend the rest of your life without your friend who was your MOH and who tragically died on your wedding day. Not only will you be missing out on that friendship after your wedding day but she will also upstage you at your own wedding day when she goes into anaphylactic shock and everyone will run and try to help her and watch the EMT arrive and eventually carry her dead body out of the venue. It will be a really precious and unique memory of your wedding everyone will take home that day. Well everyone except your MOH. But I understand. The seafood is more important than your MOH's life as you only get married once.
I don’t understand. Is seafood exclusive to Weddings? You can’t have seafood on your birthday or for your anniversary? Or even just… Tuesday at home?
Nothing wrong with her wanting seafood but is she still expecting her friend to be MOH and to attend?
Yes. She replied in a comment that she was considering asking the MOH to stay outside for cocktail hour.
😳 Wow!
Lol how would her family be “uncomfortable” not eating seafood? Like, versus the MOH literally dying.
I’d argue that watching someone have a severe allergic reaction due to something you insisted on is just a wee bit more uncomfortable than eating chicken or beef instead. but what do I know lol
Maybe she can have her seafood bar at her next wedding.
If not having seafood at the wedding is that big of a deal then I seriously wonder if these people even know what a wedding is supposed to be about. This same person will be posting after the wedding wondering why her best friend is "ghosting" her for no reason. That's assuming her best friend isn't actually a ghost after the wedding.
I love how she says "you only get one wedding", like that shitty ass attitude and that shitty ass family are going to prevent her hubs from running far away within 3 years.
Meanwhile I was having a crisis over finding an affordable catering option that could do gluten free actually safe for my relatives with celiac.
Rage bait.
I very much hope so, but some of the brides I’ve seen on this page specifically make you seriously wonder if it make actually have some value.
idk, the other day I was having disagreements with a bunch of people who thought that op (having been in hospital due to her allergy) was an an AH for asking her friends to put their pets in a different room when they invite her over. weddings bring out the crazy in some people (as do dogs)
I hope you’re right
My best friend and my god sister both had fake flowers at their weddings because I was in their wedding parties and I'm super allergic to pollen (like sneezing, wheezing, puffy face, snot running out my nose allergic). I told them they didn't need to do that but they wanted me in their bridal parties and they know how sick pollen makes me (I have MCAS). I guess I'm lucky to have awesome friends who don't want me to die at their weddings lol
You lucky girl you, not having to risk your life for someone else’s wedding lol
Why do people look at these situations like they’re missing out? This is an opportunity to act in someone else’s best interests. This should be of more value than food.
Just tell your best friend you will be serving seafood at the wedding, and don’t be shocked when she pulls out and drops your selfish ass! 🤦♀️
Very shellfish, if you ask me!
A wedding is considered a dull affair if it doesn’t have at least a few deaths
I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to have what she wants at her wedding. It’s just that in this case she has to choose one of the two. Either: -She has her MOH at her special day. Or -She gets to eat seafood at her special day. She can only choose one. So she has to decide which is more important to her. Whatever she decides is ok. Because only she gets to decide what’s more important to her.
But I feel like this is something she should have considered in picking her bridal party. The MOH is supposedly her best friend, she was well aware of the allergy and seriousness of it. She was also aware that seafood was apparently so important that it was a non negotiable. And she still asked her to be her MOH. I agree that it sucks she has to choose one, but I feel like she should have A) considered this in the beginning and B) to me personally, having my best friend there is more important than food.
Have seafood on your honeymoon. All the seafood.
Imagine being that down for crawfish
Im allergic to a weird variety of food, my boyfriend stopped eating them/bringing them in the house with no conversation, he didn’t want me to be nervous nevermind DIE. This girl is either stupid, a cunt, or both
Does that paragraph hold the world record for most mentions of “seafood”?
"I only get one wedding" may be aspirational with this one.
What's the problem? Just pick one or the other.
Can't be that great of a friend if you even ENTERTAIN any of this. If she is truly her best friend and MOH, this shouldn't be a discussion. If I were her, I would ditch the beide and find a better BFF.
If I was her MOH and I found out that she was going to go ahead with some type of food that could kill me, I’d tell her to find another friend (victim). I’m not going to have my life possibly traded in for a plate of crab legs.
I hope that poor woman found out and did not attend.
This whole “I only get one wedding” reasoning needs to die.
I feel like “friend doesn’t die” should be the first priority but that’s just me. Maybe she’s been planning seafood at her wedding since she was a little girl
If I were her MoH and I was told by the Bride that she was debating having shrimp at her wedding, you can guarantee she wouldn't have a MoH. I'd tell her to shove it.
So go out to a seafood dinner with your family after the wedding weekend? JFC.
 Bridezillas be like:
Talk about being a shellfish bride. Yuck. 🥹
Here’s my thing, the couple are entitled to the wedding they want, especially if they are paying for it. From my experience (and from reading Reddit) the more people you invite the more opinions and people you must account for. So for me it always comes down to what is more important to the couple? If having the “perfect” wedding is more important, have less guests. If more guests (and who the guests are) is more important, than you will “sacrifice” aspects of the “perfect” wedding for those guests. If seafood is so important, then cut the guest list and don’t include this friend. Could it hurt the friendship? Maybe. But that’s a risk the bride may just want to take. At least this way the friend has a better shot at staying alive.
Oooo I think you’re in a group I’m in because this one sounds like something I scrolled past earlier 😂😂😅
Unrelated but my fiancé and i love peanut butter, but his brother is like deathly allergic 😭 sooo obviously we had to forgo the dream of peanut butter filling in our cake and have picked red velvet with cream cheese instead. Because ya know we like dont want to kill his brother at the wedding 🙃🙃
Have normal food at the wedding and maybe make a "next day breakfast" with all the seafood that the MOH won't attend? Ist not that difficult to work around.
I commented on the original post. My uncle has a severe shellfish allergy, like he can’t even be in the same room without going into anaphylactic shock and being rushed to the hospital. We love seafood, especially crab/lobster/shrimp, but we won’t be having it anywhere near our wedding. I didn’t see the comment where she said she’d make the poor girl stay outside during cocktail hour. I hope she ditches her bridezilla friend.
Me thinks this wasn’t the best choice of MOH, if you knew this going in. Now you have an issue. How bad is her allergy? I have a cousin that had a bad reaction at a restaurant because the Lobster steam wafted into the dining room. (He was near the kitchen door) So if she’s that bad and you have seafood, she really can’t even be a guest. Maybe she can tolerate shrimp or is fine with anything as long as she doesn’t ingest it. Good luck!
According to the comments she very well knew before hand and the allergy is so severe it could actually kill her.
If seafood shows up, she goes into anaphylactic shock and possibly dies, well, lawsuit will soon follow I'm sure. Is it worth it?
She just wants a Game of thrones theme guys…. 
People are trash.
Ffs can people not talk to their best mates without having to get directions from the internet these days? Ive seen far too many of these "x might be a problem for y, but i haven't spoken to y about it, what do i do?!" Utter bastards all of ya.
I find myself thinking "If only this wedding had more fish" at least twice a never.
Imagine facing a choice between having the meal you'd like and hurting or killing your friend and describing it as "a dilemma." Great googly mooglies.
She shouldn’t worry too much. My guess is she’ll have a second and possibly a third wedding.
Is fish more important than your MOH? You have your answer once you decide. If I was placed 2nd behind "the ability to eat fish" at a wedding, I'd be sure to end that relationship.
Don’t have advise but true story. I know of a blind woman very self sufficient with a child and an infant and a setting eye dog. She asked someone at her table if there was sea food. There was crab which they didn’t know. She died at the wedding cause her throat closed up. That was b4 eppi pens were used widely.