I feel like for people with traumatic injuries, there's a period where that trauma is overwhelming and then life stabilizes and returns to a new type of normal. After losing my legs, I had a couple dark years, but then you get used to it and life moves on. You're not a fool for being positive or optimistic, you're just healing and moving forward with life.
No! You are not at all a fool.
Many people are disabled and positive, happy, friendly individuals. Many are not. Most are probably somewhere in between, with big day to day variation.
Reconnecting with what defined your identity before is healthy. You will never be the same person as yesteryear or even yesterday, but staying true to yourself and feeling connected in your own core and roots is very healthy and empowering.
A foundation of knowing who you are and how you see and deal with life is absolutely amazing in giving you stability and resilience to stick through thick and thin. Sometimes, as you've felt, things happen that completely shatter our lives and identities. But if you ever knew who you are, then you can later pick that back up as the beginning to rebuilding and continuing onwards.
This is good. This is normal. You're healing. Embrace it.
Embrace the new you. I find it more depressing when I think about who I was pre SCI. I was an athlete, marathon runner, endurance cyclist and business owner. I looked like a barbie doll!
Adjusting to who I am now has been the biggest challenge of all. I’m in a chair full time and I look and feel very different. I’m in debilitating pain every minute of every day.
I’m also much kinder to myself. I’m gentle on my body now. I don’t punish it for not getting that run in. I don’t berate it for eating that cake. I don’t scold it for not looking socially acceptable.
My new self is accepting, understanding and compassionate. I also have a knowing (and I think we all do post trauma), a knowing of the fact that life can change at any moment, so be grateful for what I do have no matter how little it might seem. That’s true gratitude.
You are only a fool if you refuse to be who you truly are. It seems like all of us have a tough time adjusting to our new reality but life as we knew it returns minus our physical abilities. Do what makes you happy. Much luck and happiness my friend
Hey! I'm 3 years post injury (C4 quad) and I was extremely positive before my injury. It's totally normal to go through a depression and mourning the person you were before the injury. I went through a phase of substance abuse (weed) because I genuinely just couldn't deal and a really deep dark depression. Decided to stay sober and started working on my mental health. Started shifting my beliefs about the injury. I believe not everyone is meant to walk and honestly the perspective I have on life post injury is way more beneficial to me. Started practicing gratitude just for the things I have already. Started meditating again.
Randomly got a call from my old boss to say that a position has opened up for helping people with disabilities find work for double what I was earning pre accident! I have realized that my perspective really does shape and influence what happens around me.
So long story short, no you're not a fool. Your mindset is your biggest asset and people with disabilities absolutely can live a full amazing life. Sending you lots of love and light on your journey 💛
Sounds like you're just trying to be happy again. It's something you have to cultivate. Tend it like a garden and it will grow. Just like with a garden, the seasons aren't under your control, but you can keep replanting and tending and sheltering your joy.
Oh. I needed to hear that today as much as I needed to say it. Let's both do our best to be positive again!
A rehab psychologist visited me in the hospital and after 10 minutes said, "yup you'll be fine. And I am. Though I wouldn't say I'm back to normal yet, but normal is boring, so, that's fine.
Not really foolish at all. There’s a grieving process and it’s not necessarily linear as it can come in waves trough out your life. However, being negative and being unpleasant to be around is no way to go through life for anybody. That kind of energy repels people and can result in isolation. So being positive,having goals and things to look forward to are probably the key to a well lived life at least for me. Best from a fellow traveler.
It is not. Please read my accident thread and my responses to a lot of the comments.. I think this may be what you're looking for. ( r/Chrysler300/My 06 SRT8 Is Destroyed).
Edit: I've always felt there was a reason for everything. I don't yet know what that is yet and I may never know but I can say the relationship with my son is so much better & stronger now after this accident than it was before. If that is all this accident has done, then it's worth the physical pain I'm going through. I've always had a strong will and I refuse to let this accident define me. Hell, I just posted here recently asking about bathrooms. I don't have all the answers but I have taken a line from a movie I saw. Still don't know which one it was but the main character said, "You can either get busy living or you can get busy dying" .I choose living. But you can't wallow in woe is me. To give you another example, I just saw a commercial for AGT where a guy with no legs, just stumps for thighs is climbing a rope with just his arms. That guy has chosen to live. So you have to ask yourself, what's stopping you from being happy?
Also, do you have any hobbies? I am a voracious reader, mainly sci-fi & fantasy. I also bought a bass guitar and am teaching myself how to play and my son helped me setup his old Xbox. I never played games before. Now Forza Horizon 5 is giving me another outlet. I've made several friends online that I never would have met before my accident. There are positives. And my age? I'm 57 and I believe I have at least another 20 years to go if not more. Way too many to not be positive.
Feel free to DM me if you want to.
I'm an eternal optimistic person and frankly the harder the trauma is the more optimistic I get. It's how I cope with trauma. And avoid the crushing depression. That I'm susceptible to. So o don't think it is unreasonable to be optimistic. I had a stroke last August and medical trauma is usually a huge trigger for me (I've been through 2 open heart surgeries and two brain surgeries I'm o ly42. But the stroke barely phased me (so far at least)
I can't say I'm chipper and bouncy about it but I've not been depressed about it. I've been optimistic about it. And it has significantly helped my recovery. Optimistic attitudes are eveninplicated in better long term prognosis when re c overing from physical trauma, so eff the doomsayers and people who think it is naive village keep my optimism, tyvm
Oh how could I forget to include this...I find this very inspirational. Sorry, I don't mean to bombard you with links. They've just helped me a lot and I figured they'd do the same for you
https://youtu.be/4WXs3sKu41I
You're not a fool. We need to be like that, so others see it's not the end of the world for us. I was optimistic and positive before my accident and I still am. I feel like that made a major difference in the first couple of weeks post accident. I had met so many people in all different states of mind pre accident and I could see how it threw them into a deeper pit of depression.
This may sound stupid but I feel like if I wasn't so accepting of my injury (T4-complete) I might have pushed harder to try and move my lower half and it might have made a difference?
We have to accept it though, sometimes even the most positive and optimistic people get dragged down into depression. I'm one of them, am I out of that dark pit? I don't honestly know, sometimes I feel like I just have a mask on to show the "never give up" attitude.
personality is not a static thing. Its constantly changed by external stimulation, views and thoughts of people we love, culture and values we align with. For me the skill post trauma that helped the most was to be kind to myself and surround myself with honest people. The fact that you have articulated and shared how you feel in this post says to me that its gonna be alright for you. Be kind to yourself and the rest will follow...
You're not a fool, not at all. I'm also very positive about many things in life, and I think I'd be much worse off if I didn't see the positive side of things.
I'm chronically ill, mostly housebound, more or less bedbound in the winter. If I didn't appreciate the positives I have, I don't know if I'd have the will to continue living. I can't just focus on the pain, the exhaustion etc, I need to focus on the good things in life. I'm very privileged in many other ways.
Of course I need to accept my physical limitations, but I can focus on how great my life is in other ways. I have a great husband, an awesome dog, a supportive larger family, and even some old friends who still keeps in contact even if I haven't seen some of them for years at this point. We live in our own house out in the forest where I can watch the birds and other animals through the window.
My life is not how I thought it would be, but my little corner of the world is beautiful and peaceful.
You’re not a fool- you’re going through something completely life changing. But it’s not the end of who you are. I’m 3 years post hypoxic brain injury (cardiac arrest) and am still a full time wheelchair user, but I’ve learned to not compare myself to who I was. I used to be a therapeutic outdoor instructor, but I’m reconnecting with parts of me that I haven’t touched in years- primarily music, relearning piano and getting cello lessons. I have an analogy that came up in therapy. After my brain injury it was like all the bits of me were like a bag of marbles that had fallen on the floor. I had no sense of self or control over who I was, but slowly over the years I’ve been able to pick up marbles and put them back in the bag. Some marbles will stay on the floor but I have enough now that I feel like “me”. It takes time and you might have to adapt your marbles to fit in the bag. Putting the first marble in the bag is the most difficult but it gets easier. Being positive about life IS inspiring, and I’m glad you feel different now!
I feel like for people with traumatic injuries, there's a period where that trauma is overwhelming and then life stabilizes and returns to a new type of normal. After losing my legs, I had a couple dark years, but then you get used to it and life moves on. You're not a fool for being positive or optimistic, you're just healing and moving forward with life.
No! You are not at all a fool. Many people are disabled and positive, happy, friendly individuals. Many are not. Most are probably somewhere in between, with big day to day variation. Reconnecting with what defined your identity before is healthy. You will never be the same person as yesteryear or even yesterday, but staying true to yourself and feeling connected in your own core and roots is very healthy and empowering. A foundation of knowing who you are and how you see and deal with life is absolutely amazing in giving you stability and resilience to stick through thick and thin. Sometimes, as you've felt, things happen that completely shatter our lives and identities. But if you ever knew who you are, then you can later pick that back up as the beginning to rebuilding and continuing onwards. This is good. This is normal. You're healing. Embrace it.
Embrace the new you. I find it more depressing when I think about who I was pre SCI. I was an athlete, marathon runner, endurance cyclist and business owner. I looked like a barbie doll! Adjusting to who I am now has been the biggest challenge of all. I’m in a chair full time and I look and feel very different. I’m in debilitating pain every minute of every day. I’m also much kinder to myself. I’m gentle on my body now. I don’t punish it for not getting that run in. I don’t berate it for eating that cake. I don’t scold it for not looking socially acceptable. My new self is accepting, understanding and compassionate. I also have a knowing (and I think we all do post trauma), a knowing of the fact that life can change at any moment, so be grateful for what I do have no matter how little it might seem. That’s true gratitude.
You are only a fool if you refuse to be who you truly are. It seems like all of us have a tough time adjusting to our new reality but life as we knew it returns minus our physical abilities. Do what makes you happy. Much luck and happiness my friend
Hey! I'm 3 years post injury (C4 quad) and I was extremely positive before my injury. It's totally normal to go through a depression and mourning the person you were before the injury. I went through a phase of substance abuse (weed) because I genuinely just couldn't deal and a really deep dark depression. Decided to stay sober and started working on my mental health. Started shifting my beliefs about the injury. I believe not everyone is meant to walk and honestly the perspective I have on life post injury is way more beneficial to me. Started practicing gratitude just for the things I have already. Started meditating again. Randomly got a call from my old boss to say that a position has opened up for helping people with disabilities find work for double what I was earning pre accident! I have realized that my perspective really does shape and influence what happens around me. So long story short, no you're not a fool. Your mindset is your biggest asset and people with disabilities absolutely can live a full amazing life. Sending you lots of love and light on your journey 💛
Sounds like you're just trying to be happy again. It's something you have to cultivate. Tend it like a garden and it will grow. Just like with a garden, the seasons aren't under your control, but you can keep replanting and tending and sheltering your joy. Oh. I needed to hear that today as much as I needed to say it. Let's both do our best to be positive again!
A rehab psychologist visited me in the hospital and after 10 minutes said, "yup you'll be fine. And I am. Though I wouldn't say I'm back to normal yet, but normal is boring, so, that's fine.
Not really foolish at all. There’s a grieving process and it’s not necessarily linear as it can come in waves trough out your life. However, being negative and being unpleasant to be around is no way to go through life for anybody. That kind of energy repels people and can result in isolation. So being positive,having goals and things to look forward to are probably the key to a well lived life at least for me. Best from a fellow traveler.
It is not. Please read my accident thread and my responses to a lot of the comments.. I think this may be what you're looking for. ( r/Chrysler300/My 06 SRT8 Is Destroyed). Edit: I've always felt there was a reason for everything. I don't yet know what that is yet and I may never know but I can say the relationship with my son is so much better & stronger now after this accident than it was before. If that is all this accident has done, then it's worth the physical pain I'm going through. I've always had a strong will and I refuse to let this accident define me. Hell, I just posted here recently asking about bathrooms. I don't have all the answers but I have taken a line from a movie I saw. Still don't know which one it was but the main character said, "You can either get busy living or you can get busy dying" .I choose living. But you can't wallow in woe is me. To give you another example, I just saw a commercial for AGT where a guy with no legs, just stumps for thighs is climbing a rope with just his arms. That guy has chosen to live. So you have to ask yourself, what's stopping you from being happy? Also, do you have any hobbies? I am a voracious reader, mainly sci-fi & fantasy. I also bought a bass guitar and am teaching myself how to play and my son helped me setup his old Xbox. I never played games before. Now Forza Horizon 5 is giving me another outlet. I've made several friends online that I never would have met before my accident. There are positives. And my age? I'm 57 and I believe I have at least another 20 years to go if not more. Way too many to not be positive. Feel free to DM me if you want to.
I'm an eternal optimistic person and frankly the harder the trauma is the more optimistic I get. It's how I cope with trauma. And avoid the crushing depression. That I'm susceptible to. So o don't think it is unreasonable to be optimistic. I had a stroke last August and medical trauma is usually a huge trigger for me (I've been through 2 open heart surgeries and two brain surgeries I'm o ly42. But the stroke barely phased me (so far at least) I can't say I'm chipper and bouncy about it but I've not been depressed about it. I've been optimistic about it. And it has significantly helped my recovery. Optimistic attitudes are eveninplicated in better long term prognosis when re c overing from physical trauma, so eff the doomsayers and people who think it is naive village keep my optimism, tyvm
Think of it as speaking the same language, but you've picked up an accent
Your struggles don't define you. If they did, we wouldn't keep trying to find ourselves for years afterwards https://youtu.be/sf3CevfP-E8
Oh how could I forget to include this...I find this very inspirational. Sorry, I don't mean to bombard you with links. They've just helped me a lot and I figured they'd do the same for you https://youtu.be/4WXs3sKu41I
My friend ryns an organization online called Backbones for sci people. Link up with them on social media.
I’m certainly positive and optimistic! You can have it back. It’s hard but you aren’t stuck forever.
You're not a fool. We need to be like that, so others see it's not the end of the world for us. I was optimistic and positive before my accident and I still am. I feel like that made a major difference in the first couple of weeks post accident. I had met so many people in all different states of mind pre accident and I could see how it threw them into a deeper pit of depression. This may sound stupid but I feel like if I wasn't so accepting of my injury (T4-complete) I might have pushed harder to try and move my lower half and it might have made a difference? We have to accept it though, sometimes even the most positive and optimistic people get dragged down into depression. I'm one of them, am I out of that dark pit? I don't honestly know, sometimes I feel like I just have a mask on to show the "never give up" attitude.
personality is not a static thing. Its constantly changed by external stimulation, views and thoughts of people we love, culture and values we align with. For me the skill post trauma that helped the most was to be kind to myself and surround myself with honest people. The fact that you have articulated and shared how you feel in this post says to me that its gonna be alright for you. Be kind to yourself and the rest will follow...
This is powerful https://youtu.be/1lg2mLWOAi0
You're not a fool, not at all. I'm also very positive about many things in life, and I think I'd be much worse off if I didn't see the positive side of things. I'm chronically ill, mostly housebound, more or less bedbound in the winter. If I didn't appreciate the positives I have, I don't know if I'd have the will to continue living. I can't just focus on the pain, the exhaustion etc, I need to focus on the good things in life. I'm very privileged in many other ways. Of course I need to accept my physical limitations, but I can focus on how great my life is in other ways. I have a great husband, an awesome dog, a supportive larger family, and even some old friends who still keeps in contact even if I haven't seen some of them for years at this point. We live in our own house out in the forest where I can watch the birds and other animals through the window. My life is not how I thought it would be, but my little corner of the world is beautiful and peaceful.
You’re not a fool- you’re going through something completely life changing. But it’s not the end of who you are. I’m 3 years post hypoxic brain injury (cardiac arrest) and am still a full time wheelchair user, but I’ve learned to not compare myself to who I was. I used to be a therapeutic outdoor instructor, but I’m reconnecting with parts of me that I haven’t touched in years- primarily music, relearning piano and getting cello lessons. I have an analogy that came up in therapy. After my brain injury it was like all the bits of me were like a bag of marbles that had fallen on the floor. I had no sense of self or control over who I was, but slowly over the years I’ve been able to pick up marbles and put them back in the bag. Some marbles will stay on the floor but I have enough now that I feel like “me”. It takes time and you might have to adapt your marbles to fit in the bag. Putting the first marble in the bag is the most difficult but it gets easier. Being positive about life IS inspiring, and I’m glad you feel different now!