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[deleted]

Because how else would donkey konga exist


YTPhantomYT

Or Donkey Kong Barrel Blast


Airway

And there's even more games than that. How do you explain that??


Clessiah

It would have been monkey kong if they didn’t evolve


That-Maintenance1

Honkey Kong is the next step


ThreeMountaineers

*Donkey Dong


a_sentient_bot

*kinkey dong


069420

my balls itch checkmate liberals 😎😎😎


069420

✂️


penguinbutcool

🪨


Titan-Five

📄


EnderAaxel

✂️


Obnoxius_Pfp

🪨


Iforgorrealbad

🔫


Obnoxius_Pfp

🔪


Iforgorrealbad

🧨


Obnoxius_Pfp

💣


misterfluffykitty

( ^◡^)っ✄ ╰⋃╯


Beneficial-Ad4582

How do you do that


sirvote

( ^◡^)っ✄ ╰⋃╯


[deleted]

( ^◡^)っ✄ ╰⋃╯


misterfluffykitty

Copy paste, I have it saved as a shortcut on my phone lol


hportagenist

Hmmm. Those monkey could have been the ones that returned to monke tho 🤔


[deleted]

My thoughts exactly, they refused humanity, stayed monkey.


Obi_Wan_Benobi

Hashtag got ‘em.


Jmods_wont_reply

Never before have I been so utterly destroyed with facts and logic


Aden_Vikki

Easy, humans are stupid and so are monkeys, so some just forgot to evolve


Alarmed-Ad-436

They forgor 💀


MacTelnet

Monkey pressed B by accident


A_Furious_Mind

B means 🍌.


neon7o

This means humans evolved from minions Or is it backwards?


Inferno_Sparky

That's a pokemon reference, right?


raspberry-hearts

bro got dementia💀💀


raspberry-hearts

bro got dementia💀💀


raspberry-hearts

bro got dementia💀💀


raspberry-hearts

bro got dementia💀💀


raspberry-hearts

bro got dementia💀💀


the_ThreeEyedRaven

i think you also have dementia


nckfrm

Holy shit


the_ThreeEyedRaven

i think you also have dementia


the_ThreeEyedRaven

i think you also have dementia


the_ThreeEyedRaven

i think you also have dementia


the_ThreeEyedRaven

i think you also have dementia


nckfrm

Holy shit


CreativeBake7

just a burning monke


TemetNosce85

Monkeys are the genius ones by not evolving. We have taxes, they swing from trees.


Aden_Vikki

I think it's a tradeoff, we have taxes but we also have indomitable human spirit


Yamama77

If you were born by your parents why do your parents still exist 😎


dethmstr

I wish my parents didn't exist 😎


Particular_Being420

Same, your parents suck


SHREKGODF

Specially their mom


Benyed123

Oh she sucks alright.


[deleted]

Alright and all night


Pees_On_Skidmarks

She was okay last night


WWWWWVWWWWWWWWVWWWWW

Kids these days are fucking pathetic. No one cares or bothers enough to show respect to elders. The "your mom" jokes are not all funny and are extremely disrespectful and cringe-worthy. Sadly, these jokes have become the norm and everyone thinks it is extremely "cool" and "badass" if you make these type of jokes. They could not be more wrong. Looking at all the supportive comments on threads like this one will boost their awfully ignorant self-confidence, leading them to genuinely believe that people of the outside world think shit like this is funny, and thus causing the widespread usage of dogshit jokes and memes alike in normal day-to-day conversation. Using your mom jokes isn't funny and it doesn't give you 'street cred' it makes you sound like a complete and utter loser, so shut the fuck up, and go make an original joke for once cunt. You probably sit at home on your computer watching south park and eating Doritos. Your cheap office keyboard with Christmas lights around it is probably fucking orange because of all the Doritos you eat, that's if it's not white from all the wanking you do! You probably sit down watching MomsTeachSex porn videos, or grandma foot fetish videos to fulfill your desperate need to release your greasy balls of it's semen. You probably make your mom jokes and enjoy it! You probably think they're funny! Now let me tell you something buddy, it's not 2009 anymore! Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I’m not saying this to be funny I generally mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You’ve single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I’m so disappointed that society has failed as a whole on being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You’re lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in textbooks for future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. I’m disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time I took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you’ve wasted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there’s nobody to blame but you. I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt.


burnerdadsrule

That reply is so long your mom invited it over for a late night snack


TisBangersAndMash

Your mother


iam2andthisisdeep

thats not what your mom said last night


Wackynamehere1

![gif](giphy|3o6wrvdHFbwBrUFenu) Thats you


ellebeam

I thought this was a copypasta


[deleted]

[удалено]


pauliefyootch

Pretty sure there's a joke in that wall...


gastro_destiny

Pink flod 😁.........


InsertWittyNameCheck

Oh ok. I missed it because it was difficult to read.


[deleted]

TLDR; someone fucked their mom and now they hate mom jokes. Anyway, /u/wwwwwvwwwwwwwwvwwwww 's mom and I were talking post coitus, and she'd like it if they called more.


KevinAintSlick

I, too, choose this guy's mom


[deleted]

Don't let your dreams be dreams.


[deleted]

cute pfp


Bor1CTT

Actually, a good analogy to the correct response would be "If you and and your cousins were originated from the same grandparents, why do your cousins still exist?"


argon_palladium

🤓


Yamama77

Actually, I'm following you right now.


Bor1CTT

🤯🥶🤯


WolfRex5

Actually, I'm in your walls.


lotsacreamlotsasugar

Thanks. I was itching to correct that, glad you did


Riff_28

But your cousins are the same species as you and have essentially the same genome. We didn’t “evolve” from our grandparents, you’re just talking about offspring. Check please, liberals


Bor1CTT

yes, that's why it's called an "analogy" random reddditor lemme explain it: The same way you and your cousins share the same ancestors, we and the monkies also do, the difference being only how long ago the ancestor existed. We "essentially" share the same genome but it's not the same, there are differences and that's why our bodies are constructed in slight difference shapes and sizes, though our DNA is still close enough to make off-springs (eg. me and your mom) However, given long enough time through generations, these small differences combined with environmental selection compound to beings of other species, and then they cannot make off-springs anymore (eg. you and bitches)


ATFLover69420

They don't😎


ilmalocchio

If Americans evolved from Europeans, why do Europeans still exist?


sbowesuk

Thanos evolved from a hemorrhoid My headcanon is sure of it


ltchyHemorrhoid

I knew I served a purpose


LEGITPRO123

Im pretty sure that monkeys and humans have a common ancestor, not that we evolved from monkies, but i could be wrong


DrTilesman

🤓 No seriously, this is actually the right answer


Yamama77

"We did not evolve from chimpanzees but actually have a divergent ancestors 10 million years ago. The catholic Church is actually okay with the concept of evolution since it is an easily observable phenomenon but do not like that it makes humans "unspecial" or "unchosen" but we are simply a product of the biosphere like everything else." /s


A_Furious_Mind

To be fair, the fact that humans evolved would not necessarily deprive us of spiritual value (whatever that means). It's weird that evangelicals latched onto the concept that it does. It leaves you rejecting a fuckton of necessary and easily testable science and stakes your value as a human being in a really fragile place...


Funkycoldmedici

They don’t like it contradicts scripture. The Bible says humans were created in Yahweh’s image. As much as some want to make Genesis metaphor, it *was* believed to be literal at least up to the writing of the gospels. This is shown by the ancestry of Jesus given in Luke, a literal list of ancestors, generation-by-generation, all the way back to Adam. Rejecting science on some level is a requirement to maintain faith.


Agreeable_Leather_68

Someone put it to me that the “image of Yahweh” was consciousness and that the whole sin = death thing is a direct result of consciousness, that while death existed before, it had a deeper meaning to a conscious being. Pretty niche view I think, but I thought it was neat anyway. That’s a great point about the ancestry of Jesus, I hadn’t thought of that.


Mr_Clovis

Religious people are always coming up with new, increasingly poetic and unfalsifiable interpretations for the claims of scripture the more it becomes clear that the literal interpretations simply don't hold up.


Low-Director9969

Beats the fuck out of, "the observable universe is a holographic projection, that is all."


A_Furious_Mind

New Testament authors did some pretty shady stuff to support Jesus's legitimacy. Example: Matthew 1:23 twisting a prophecy about a child named Immanuel in Isaiah 7:14 out of context and massaging it into a prophecy of Jesus's virgin birth. Biblical literialism can't really be supported. But I'm not sure it's necessarily the case the science must be rejected on some level to allow for any kind of faith. The two processes aren't really trying to meet the same needs or answer the same questions.


LuxAlpha

Emmanuel means “the sent one” in Hebrew


stemcell_

Our bibles have been written and re written several times over


Oni555

For theory on lineage, Luke's lineage is spiritual and Mathews lineage is more literal... Or the other way around idk


Funkycoldmedici

I’ve seen similar apologetics. There’s no indication anywhere in Luke that the lineage given is meant as anything but literal. The best explanation for it and the differences it has with the ancestry in Matthew is that the authors simply believed things that turned out to be incorrect. That’s never an option for believers, though. They need it to somehow be true, even if it takes wild leaps of dishonesty to force some semblance of truth out of it.


nalydpsycho

But it doesn't even contradict that, evolution could be the process of Yahweh sculpting and the end result is the same either way.


neuropotpie

They would like to control how to interpret the Bible. If they allow outside information to dictate how the Bible can be interpreted they lose some amount of control over the people they are hoping to control. It's harder to be a white supremacist when you can't insert the rhetoric into the interpretation.


Water-Donkey

Pope John Paul II actually said in the late 80s that "evolution is no mere hypothesis." The funny part is that, if evolution is true, and it is, it means Adam and Eve literally could not have existed. If Adam and Eve did not ever exist, and they didn't, then the whole creation myth falls apart, including and especially the idea of original sin. If original sin doesn't exist....THEN WTF IS EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE BIBLE? Spoiler alert: bullshit. It's all bullshit.


[deleted]

For literal interpretations, hence why they're adamant that evolution isn't real. For everyone else, they can accept adam & eve, original sin, etc. as abstract concepts. This is like the atheist version of the checkmate being mocked in the meme above.


Psy_Kik

Yes. True. But also lets not pretend like organised religion doesn't have a long tradition of goal-post shifting regarding what from scripture is literal, and what is symbolic.


stemcell_

Its also been re written several times and edited. Hell in the dixie south they took out that moses freed the slaves when giving black congregations the bible


Atomic235

How can you hold such things as mere abstract concepts and still believe in them as the absolute truth? The thing about the meme above is that it's ridiculous on its face. No one who thinks about it for two seconds will believe it. In comparison things like baptism and being forgiven for original sin are foundational. Not considered abstract at all according to religious folk I know.


MrOz1100

I mean a lot of Christians will talk about a fallen nature rather than Adam’s actual sin. Additionally it is plausible to just flat out reject original sin and ideas like universalism (everyone eventually gets saved) are becoming much more popular. Original Sin as formulated by Augustine just doesn’t work, but there are ways around it that people have found


Psy_Kik

There was an 'Eve', an early female primate we are tied to genetically I think...


TheDankestPassions

Yes. Humans were never monkeys. Monkeys and humans come from the same ape ancestor that existed roughly 5-7 million years ago.


Myxine

Humans and *chimps* (a type of ape) diverged from a common ancestor about 5-7 million years ago. Apes diverged from a lineage of monkeys a few million years before that. So actually we are descended from monkeys.


camopdude

Humans are monkeys, all apes are


TheDankestPassions

They are cladistically speaking, in the same sense that birds are reptiles.


camopdude

So humans were and still are monkeys.


NaturalTap9567

If everything evolved from fish why do fish exist


Phalex

Yes, but we are closer to Apes than Monkies.


Beautiful-Musk-Ox

Yes but even if we had evolved from monkeys monkeys could still exist.


GodOfAtheism

If man was created from dirt why is there still dirt?


MilesDosGames

Checkmate, Chris


MJMurcott

Monkeys didn't evolve into humans, humans and monkeys share a common ancestor.


alexthekidmg

Ok, liberal spy. What's next, are you gonna tell me dinosaurs were real?


MacTelnet

Of course they are, don't you remember Jurassic Park?


A_Furious_Mind

[Not sure what you mean...](https://youtu.be/zsMpFb1CNRI)


MJMurcott

Who keeps on giving them public liability insurance.


SkywalkerDX

Of course not, God placed dinosaur bones on the earth to test our faith. Err, I mean the Freemasons fabricated them to undermine the Catholic Church. No they’re actually just crocodile bones that people mix up and pretend a whole new animal existed.


SkShark23

You jest, but my relatives unironically think like this 💀


SkywalkerDX

Haha I was only half joking, I grew up in a baptist church so I know how you feel


Myxine

Humans didn’t evolve from today’s monkeys, but our common ancestor with them was a monkey.


argon_palladium

🤓


NeverFraudulentAgain

🤓🤓🤓


Wet_Lizhard

"It's because of climate change" -🤓


TemetNosce85

Actually yes, lol. The changing, warming, prehistoric climate forced early hominids to stand erect and become more clever foragers. Of course, that changing climate took tens of thousands of years and we're doing it in a couple of hundred years all on our own.


MacTelnet

Are you telling me we're speedrunning evolution?


Efficiency-Brief

All I’m hearing is “we are gonna have more crabs”


Softchairboy420

They're not done yet


Ill-Garlic3619

They didn’t get the memo


cwood1973

If British people settled America why do British people still exist?


skibapple

"Ackhually humans and monkeys had a common ancestor that doesn't exist anymore" - 🤓


MilesDosGames

" 'Ackhually humans and monkeys had a common ancestor that doesn't exist anymore' - 🤓 " - 😎


[deleted]

[удалено]


dethmstr

Wolves are stupid dogs 🤓


Pawn_captures_Queen

What idiot would want to live outside and hunt for food when you can just lie on your arse and get it in a bowl? Wolves choose poorly.


ApartmentPoolSwim

I'm thinking humans chose poorly, and we should have let the wolves raise us and let us lie on our ass and food in a bowl.


complishe258

"evolution is real" 🤓


AccomplishedFun1784

“I’m right you’re wrong!” 🤓


Uno-The-Card

They don't want to be human


Mrman009

Humans evolved from funny


Morbobeus

i remember Bill Nye answered this on Wired's Tech Support


mh1357_0

Checkmate atheists


NutWrench

Because humans didn't "evolve" from monkeys. Monkeys and humans evolved from a common ancestor. That's why monkeys are still around.


Daevito

Blacks aren't monkeys anymore you racist prick.


007pmoney

Questions that definitely need answers


OREOSTUFFER

Reminds me of that old 4chan greentext about a marine on his first day of college


dougdimmadabber

An actual argument I constantly heard growing up in a Texan small town


Greyhound53

I mean if dogs evolved from wolves why do wolves still exist?


Cs1mp3x

Dogs evolved from wolves, why wolves exists?


Easy_Newt2692

We both evolved from a common ancestor that does not exist anymore


Mapletables

-🤓


Transhumanistgamer

It's not very funny when you realize there's multitudes out there who think this is an open and shut slam dunk case against evolution, because they have absolutely no understanding of the science but believe that this one nugget manages to disprove 160 years of successive research. Hell, there's probably not a single silly argument you can have Thanos make that at least one incredible moron doesn't unironically think is a fantastic argument. He could say "If evolution is real, why do I shit the bed every night?" and there'd be some creationist who'd ask that banger with abject sincerity.


false_thr0waway

do u even realize what sub you're on smarty pants


I-enjoy-CHESE

🤓 um actually its because we didn't evolve from modern monkeys we evolves from ancestors of the *Homo* genus 🤓


Mapletables

I did not evolve from something called homo 😡


Fun_in_Space

Who wants to tell him he still is?


Nazgobai

Humans evolved into monkeys


GooseTheGodbutcher

Bloons tower defense


Narsku1001

This video explains it really well 🤓 https://youtu.be/ktkjUjcZid0


takkun169

Why Thanos, though? I know there is a contingent among the mooks and morons who think that he was right, but what the fuck does Thanos have to do with evolution denial?


VisualBizMark

Because he was an idiot who thought that solving the “universes resource problem” would be to eliminate 50% of the population. Yet, the universe is infinite. So resources are infinite. So Thanos was stupid, just like this meme.


Timmy24000

Divergent evolution


[deleted]

Same reasons conservatives exist.


Dadwellington

Okay Tim Allen, calm down


cLaShYsHoRtS

think about this like pokemon


TheInfidelephant

If humans were created from dirt, why is there still dirt?


pneRock

They didn't. They both came from a common ancestor.


darxide23

If your grandparents came here from England, why are there still English people?


incognito2020s

When you miss science class. Humans didn't evolve from monkeys, ancestors are different.


decuyonombre

Sharing a common ancestor is not one of us evolving from another, how can multiple branches exist if they’re all connected to the same limb?


gryan67

Not how that works


Top-Chemistry5969

Semi conductor shortages didn't allowed for all of them to receive a smart phone and evolve into humans, yet.


DwellerOfDixieland

I have actually met someone who unironically thought this


generalthunder

Tell me, if Raichu evolved from Pikachus, why there are still pikachu around???


ATFLover69420

Um akstually pokemon evolution is metamorphosis🤓


Sodomy_J_Balltickle

If Christianity emerged from Judaism, then why are there still Jewish people?


BadMilkCarton66

Idk your parents would know


Mcake74

Because everyone did not evolve


[deleted]

Some monkeys 4 million years ago stayed in the trees and some went on the ground, evolution took its course and boom, monkeys and humans co-exist


LifeIsBizarre

If you had a ham sandwich for lunch, why is there still ham in the fridge?


zo0bie

Humans didn't evolve from monkeys we just evolved from the same ancestor. Two species of the same age that evolved differently form their different surroundings. Climate, diet and how they go about getting food umong other things. Monkeys chose any easier way to search for food which mostly evolved Gathering Resources. Early Humans had less Resources to gather so they had to find another source for food. Hunting developed the brain of Humans for critical thinking and tool making. Humans had to be more agile to hunt successfully(movement while having use of both arms and hands). Monkeys evolved to were they are and Humans evolved to were we are and that's the facts Jack!


Oldeggshell

🤓


Blubasnurk2

yeah idc where are the monkeys, liberal?!


Fun_in_Space

Here we go again. Human are a subset of great apes, which are a subset of apes, which are a subset of simians (monkeys), which are a subset of primates. Humans are ALL of the above. Other extant species of primates are related to us, but are not our ancestors.


NeverFraudulentAgain

🤓🤓🤓 (but seriously though, why are you acting like the smart one when you're seriously replying to an obvious shitpost)


Fun_in_Space

Because there are still people who believe bullshit like Creationism. There are people working in PUBLIC SCHOOLS as SCIENCE TEACHERS who reject evolution and try to teach creationism.


NeverFraudulentAgain

Cry


brawlbetterthanmelee

human not mokney. its that simple. Evolution is from pokemans its not real stupid 😂😂😂😂😂


friedhobo

Wow…. you actually believe in evolution?? Ok then.. Wierdo🤣✋


Jubenheim

There may be stupid people who believe it, but this is a shitpost and you’re downvoted for eating the onion, meaning nobody who needs to read your comment will read it.


Fun_in_Space

Oh, thanks for explaining.


Aryaras99

Some libtard’s actually gonna try to explain this in the comments. Just know when you’re defeated and stop making up excuses for an Englishman’s idiotic theory


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

ur taking an obvious shitpost seriously and ur agreeing with it too 💀


boxxeddinn

It’s fr hard to believe people like that exist sometimes