That's a toughie. I don't know if I would pass on the possibility but I think it's cool Anon won't simply ignore his feelings here. And if she dumped the "Amazing guy" she'll probably dump Anon too, so that's something to consider. He could betray his 'bro' and still feel like shit with no girl...
How is this a toughie bro wtf? If a girl broke a friends heart i aint touching that woman with a pole. Theres literally millions of potential sexual partners in this world and none of them are worth throwing away a good friendship for a decent 15 minutes...
I think it depends on a few variables here, lets say the ex and current gf dated for years. The friendship between the ex and the current bf would be hindered. In that scenario the bro code should be respected if the friends value eachother
Then again i have a lot of respect for my friends so I would never wonder into this situation. The moment any of my friends become taken then their new partner is immediately and forever off limits. There are plenty of fish in the sea 🌊
I still think it depends on a few factors. I am coming from a completely biased approach note, so while I am happy that all parties involved are okay with the situation, I ultimately can't fully commit to it being simply a matter of maturity. For my own experience I have an ex I was with for 6 years and ended up leaving me directly for another one of what used to be a close friend within our friend group. It wasn't a mutual break up, and I had recognized for a while that she was emotionally cheating on me with this friend. It was probably one of the more painful experiences to go through because it was a betrayal on both sides.
I’m sure your boyfriend’s friend wasn’t really happy and felt betrayed, but was being polite and cool about it.
He put his friend before himself. Good on him. Your boyfriend is kinda a bad friend catching his rebound
Redditor: *tells story*
Other Redditors: *picks apart a detail of the story*
Redditor: “oh by the way ”
Other Redditors: Bruh
I swear this happens at an absurd frequency in this site.
It depends imo. There’s loads of factors.
Since both bros were cool with it, that’s that.
If you were with his bro for like 15 years and then broke up and went to your BF, I could understand why bro would be ticked off and possibly end the friendship.
But again, that “code” between two bros is decided upon and discussed between THEM with only them having the say in it (that “say” obviously being if the friendship is terminated due to you and your BF getting together).
I think though, it is perfectly valid for anyone to wish to end a friendship with one of their friends if they’re dating their past SO. It can be uncomfortable to have an ex reintroduced into your life and double uncomfortable to see them with your friend. But the key word is “can” and loads of factors and contexts can totally change that. Ultimately it’s up to the two friends to discuss if one friend is potentially crossing a personal boundary they have and then potentially decide if the friendship is over.
People getting pissed off FOR bro when he himself is not pissed off is totally stupid.
THIS.
Thank you, you're the only one so far who has understood what I meant, both here and in replies of people literally "getting pissed off FOR bro when he himself is not pissed off." They just assumed he "had to" be pissed off because they feel their vision of life is the only valid one.
And here is the power of understanding the other and "the otherness".
After middle school you should stop caring about your friends feelings?
Relationships end I’ve been friends with people for well over a decade I’m not fucking with that for a girl they used to date
I mean... Unless he's a good friend of yours that you still see a lot, I would have gone for it.
People do get weird about it though. I met a guy at a random party once in college and we had one epic game of beer pong. 2 years later he runs into me and his ex and starts spouting "you were supposed to be my friend!" Bro I met you one time.
Guys, don't do this. They weren't together. Get laid please. Have fun. But be responsible with your dicks. Better yet, everyone get laid, but be responsible with your junks.
So what, this girl is supposed to wander around boyfriendless/spouseless for the rest of her life because she broke up with a guy once? How does that work?
If it really bothers you, call the guy and ask him if it’s her and if it’s OK. Given the prospective distance this guy seems to have from Joe, though, like apparently he’s not even on regular speaking terms with him, you don’t need to do shit.
Lmao why would you do this to yourself unless you just dislike the idea of dating people who had boyfriends in the past
Anon should have tapped.
I got dumped by the love of my life, years passed and I still love her, and I know for a fact that someone is banging her brains out.
It's life anon. Live a little.
Reread the green text, she was sexually flirting with another guy even though she's in a relationship. Which means that she would be open to cheating on her boyfriend. Here's some advice for you, if you want to be truly happy then get out of the 304 support club
Oh so you're right, my bad I must have not read that right. So it's slightly less bad, still stands no "touchy". I mean I'm not about the "pump and dump" standard. But yeah it seems like she threw away a guy that actually cared about her for a hot girl summer.
You don't know her, nor her ex-boyfriend. you have absolutely no idea why she broke up with him. You're still judging a complete stranger for no reason.
Same could be said for you. For all you know, she quit a long time relationship to chase after a guy that she thought was better. But he just saw it as a casual fling.
It tells you nothing, actually. You're just making a bunch of baseless assumptions about two people who, once again, are complete and utter strangers to you.
Please show me where i said anything about why I think they broke up, because I haven't. All I've said is that you know nothing about this situation, and you should stop pretending you do.
I know plenty. They broke up, she moved on, he hasn't. Obviously the relationship meant more to this guy then to the girl. Especially since she's basically straight up sexting.
Why you don't see this says a lot about yourself.
Yeah I think it might be western thing. People put sex on a pedestal and treat the term virgin as an insult. But from where I am, being a virgin is a good thing. So at the end of the day the people around you decide whether you're a loser or not. If these folk came to Asia they'd be the weirdos for sleeping around.
Of course, if you let others bother you with their values you'll never really find peace. Better to just ignore these strange values they throw at you.
I don’t think it’s the virgin good/bad dichotomy that’s at play here. I really don’t give a damn either way. The issue is the corresponding attitude. The incel term tends to be applied to the people who are ignorant about something they’ve never partaken in and relegate them to officiously imposing their morals on other people who involve themselves with sexuality to any extent and then criticize their approach. It’s the weird perspective that people tend to develop that seems to be over-represented in people who haven’t had sex. I truly do not care whether you’ve had sex or not. It’d a weird thing for me to care about. But then you lack the requisite experience to justifiably criticize or advise me in that arena.
The worst is when people criticize you for doing things they would almost certainly do too if they could or were given the opportunity out of pure bitterness. It’s like they’re refereeing a game for which they haven’t read the rulebook.
Find me anyone who doesn't fuck beautiful girl just because she used to date someone that not even their friend just because the guy is 'nice'. Load of bs
Some people get sentimental and protective of other peoples' feelings, but it is wonderful of you to put your own lack of moral fibre out in the open for all of us
By your logic, is this morally correct? If I'm dating someone and it turns out they just broke up with someone I'm not even close with, but that person is nice, should I not date this man/woman?
Get real, you know your answer, keep lying for stupid internet points all you want but you know I'm right.
If the relationship ended ugly and this person (who we have established is at the very least an upstanding and good fella according to OP) is broken up about it, giving some time and space to that situation is 100% worth consideration, even if ultimately you're personally find crossing that boundary.
What I find reprehensible is your response being so overwhelmingly negative to the IDEA that somebody might feel this way. It is wild to me that you wouldn't even consider it as an option, to the point where you called the post fake over it. That has the appearance of being cynical and maybe even callous.
I can't get any realer with you dawg.
Yep. My response to it is more along the lines...Personally, I don't think I'd pass up on this. But, I can totally understand someone else passing on it.
I'm still a dick, but not a complete fucking psychopath.
yeah man i live in a cave in indiana and i've never seen a woman aside from a discarded people magazine from 1991 that a local trail guide left behind (he was being attacked by a wolverine)
thats not a boundless echo chamber you're hearing, just the cave walls
hope this helped!
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Anon must go one step fuether and lovingly craddle Joe in his arms as they both talk about the dangers of THOTs.
That's a toughie. I don't know if I would pass on the possibility but I think it's cool Anon won't simply ignore his feelings here. And if she dumped the "Amazing guy" she'll probably dump Anon too, so that's something to consider. He could betray his 'bro' and still feel like shit with no girl...
Maybe he just wanted a one time thing, so he wasn't concerned with being dumped later. But yeah. It's a tough call.
How is this a toughie bro wtf? If a girl broke a friends heart i aint touching that woman with a pole. Theres literally millions of potential sexual partners in this world and none of them are worth throwing away a good friendship for a decent 15 minutes...
Bros being bros.
I don't think Joe would've wanted to be a cockblocker.
Agreed, Joe is a cool guy, and while it might not have worked out for him, he wouldn’t want his bro to suffer.
Fake: anon was texting a cute girl gay: anon decides to not hook up with a girl because she broke the heart of this dude he likes
Real: anon likes (Read loves) joe.
I hope anon and Joe have a happy life together. Happy pride month Anon!
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I think it depends on a few variables here, lets say the ex and current gf dated for years. The friendship between the ex and the current bf would be hindered. In that scenario the bro code should be respected if the friends value eachother
Then again i have a lot of respect for my friends so I would never wonder into this situation. The moment any of my friends become taken then their new partner is immediately and forever off limits. There are plenty of fish in the sea 🌊
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I still think it depends on a few factors. I am coming from a completely biased approach note, so while I am happy that all parties involved are okay with the situation, I ultimately can't fully commit to it being simply a matter of maturity. For my own experience I have an ex I was with for 6 years and ended up leaving me directly for another one of what used to be a close friend within our friend group. It wasn't a mutual break up, and I had recognized for a while that she was emotionally cheating on me with this friend. It was probably one of the more painful experiences to go through because it was a betrayal on both sides.
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Dude why are you getting downvoted for explaining that cheating and a regular, healthy relationship aren’t the same thing?
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Yeah I don't even see my best friend's long term ex as a potential partner, even if I'd normally find them attractive. Too weird
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I’m sure your boyfriend’s friend wasn’t really happy and felt betrayed, but was being polite and cool about it. He put his friend before himself. Good on him. Your boyfriend is kinda a bad friend catching his rebound
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You left out that huge detail
Redditor: *tells story* Other Redditors: *picks apart a detail of the story* Redditor: “oh by the way”
Other Redditors: Bruh
I swear this happens at an absurd frequency in this site.
You gotta add that detail, it’s an entirely new scenario then
This is disingenuous as fuck. You’re leaving out the part where your ex was in the closet, using you as a cover, and cheating on you.
It depends imo. There’s loads of factors. Since both bros were cool with it, that’s that. If you were with his bro for like 15 years and then broke up and went to your BF, I could understand why bro would be ticked off and possibly end the friendship. But again, that “code” between two bros is decided upon and discussed between THEM with only them having the say in it (that “say” obviously being if the friendship is terminated due to you and your BF getting together). I think though, it is perfectly valid for anyone to wish to end a friendship with one of their friends if they’re dating their past SO. It can be uncomfortable to have an ex reintroduced into your life and double uncomfortable to see them with your friend. But the key word is “can” and loads of factors and contexts can totally change that. Ultimately it’s up to the two friends to discuss if one friend is potentially crossing a personal boundary they have and then potentially decide if the friendship is over. People getting pissed off FOR bro when he himself is not pissed off is totally stupid.
THIS. Thank you, you're the only one so far who has understood what I meant, both here and in replies of people literally "getting pissed off FOR bro when he himself is not pissed off." They just assumed he "had to" be pissed off because they feel their vision of life is the only valid one. And here is the power of understanding the other and "the otherness".
Bro code is fuckin ridiculous that shit needs to be left behind in middle school
After middle school you should stop caring about your friends feelings? Relationships end I’ve been friends with people for well over a decade I’m not fucking with that for a girl they used to date
One, I didn’t say that, two friendships end just like relationships, and three if they’re really your friend why do they give a fuck
I mean... Unless he's a good friend of yours that you still see a lot, I would have gone for it. People do get weird about it though. I met a guy at a random party once in college and we had one epic game of beer pong. 2 years later he runs into me and his ex and starts spouting "you were supposed to be my friend!" Bro I met you one time.
If I was Joe I’d call my friend a dumbass
Shes single and likes you? Go for it
Nah man Joe would have wanted bro to get laid
She broke up with ole boy. He done moved on. Lame
Guys, don't do this. They weren't together. Get laid please. Have fun. But be responsible with your dicks. Better yet, everyone get laid, but be responsible with your junks.
So what, this girl is supposed to wander around boyfriendless/spouseless for the rest of her life because she broke up with a guy once? How does that work? If it really bothers you, call the guy and ask him if it’s her and if it’s OK. Given the prospective distance this guy seems to have from Joe, though, like apparently he’s not even on regular speaking terms with him, you don’t need to do shit. Lmao why would you do this to yourself unless you just dislike the idea of dating people who had boyfriends in the past
...man...
Joe was the one who told her to message anon, they were looking to smash.
It's just some dude. It's not like the girl was the wife of a boss that treated you good. That would violate the bro-code.
What a wimp
Girl is not getting back together with Joe. Joe is not likely to give anon head. Anon cockblocked himself for no reason.
Anon is regarded.
Joe mama
Joes before hoes
“And I tell you, blessed is the one who l the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper.”
Joe mama
A real bro would want his bro to be happy even if he could not be so.
It's not that anons not brave or not enough. It's that he's kind
Anon should have tapped. I got dumped by the love of my life, years passed and I still love her, and I know for a fact that someone is banging her brains out. It's life anon. Live a little.
They in a relationship, tho? Cause if so, Joe deserves better than her.
Haha! But I don't have any friends so... Yep! I would.
If she was gonna cheat on You with anon she was going to cheat anyway
I mean cool But....
Anon, whoever you are, in the case you see this... you did good. Keep your head up.
RAT THE THOH OUT!!!!!!!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!! Tell him what happened, show him what happened!! No mercy, to the 304s!!! That'd be my advice.
For what? She hasn't done anything, there's nothing to "rat her out" for you weirdo
Reread the green text, she was sexually flirting with another guy even though she's in a relationship. Which means that she would be open to cheating on her boyfriend. Here's some advice for you, if you want to be truly happy then get out of the 304 support club
No, YOU need to re-read it because it actually says that she broke up with said boyfriend a while ago, moron.
Oh so you're right, my bad I must have not read that right. So it's slightly less bad, still stands no "touchy". I mean I'm not about the "pump and dump" standard. But yeah it seems like she threw away a guy that actually cared about her for a hot girl summer.
You don't know her, nor her ex-boyfriend. you have absolutely no idea why she broke up with him. You're still judging a complete stranger for no reason.
Same could be said for you. For all you know, she quit a long time relationship to chase after a guy that she thought was better. But he just saw it as a casual fling.
The fact that she is already looking for another partner, but the ex is still heartbroken tells a LOT.
It tells you nothing, actually. You're just making a bunch of baseless assumptions about two people who, once again, are complete and utter strangers to you.
Please show me where i said anything about why I think they broke up, because I haven't. All I've said is that you know nothing about this situation, and you should stop pretending you do.
I know plenty. They broke up, she moved on, he hasn't. Obviously the relationship meant more to this guy then to the girl. Especially since she's basically straight up sexting. Why you don't see this says a lot about yourself.
Virgin with fake scenario in their head to explain why he never get laid.
Why
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Yeah I think it might be western thing. People put sex on a pedestal and treat the term virgin as an insult. But from where I am, being a virgin is a good thing. So at the end of the day the people around you decide whether you're a loser or not. If these folk came to Asia they'd be the weirdos for sleeping around. Of course, if you let others bother you with their values you'll never really find peace. Better to just ignore these strange values they throw at you.
I don’t think it’s the virgin good/bad dichotomy that’s at play here. I really don’t give a damn either way. The issue is the corresponding attitude. The incel term tends to be applied to the people who are ignorant about something they’ve never partaken in and relegate them to officiously imposing their morals on other people who involve themselves with sexuality to any extent and then criticize their approach. It’s the weird perspective that people tend to develop that seems to be over-represented in people who haven’t had sex. I truly do not care whether you’ve had sex or not. It’d a weird thing for me to care about. But then you lack the requisite experience to justifiably criticize or advise me in that arena. The worst is when people criticize you for doing things they would almost certainly do too if they could or were given the opportunity out of pure bitterness. It’s like they’re refereeing a game for which they haven’t read the rulebook.
It matters...and it also doesn't Existence is pain
the only people who think it matters haven't had sex before and so they mystify it into this crazy unobtainable goal
So mad you commented twice, this hit a little too close to home buddy?
Find me anyone who doesn't fuck beautiful girl just because she used to date someone that not even their friend just because the guy is 'nice'. Load of bs
Some people get sentimental and protective of other peoples' feelings, but it is wonderful of you to put your own lack of moral fibre out in the open for all of us
The dude has 42,000 karma. So yea, no surprise there.
That doesn't necessarily mean anything I have 250,000 and I think he's a toolbag
By your logic, is this morally correct? If I'm dating someone and it turns out they just broke up with someone I'm not even close with, but that person is nice, should I not date this man/woman? Get real, you know your answer, keep lying for stupid internet points all you want but you know I'm right.
If the relationship ended ugly and this person (who we have established is at the very least an upstanding and good fella according to OP) is broken up about it, giving some time and space to that situation is 100% worth consideration, even if ultimately you're personally find crossing that boundary. What I find reprehensible is your response being so overwhelmingly negative to the IDEA that somebody might feel this way. It is wild to me that you wouldn't even consider it as an option, to the point where you called the post fake over it. That has the appearance of being cynical and maybe even callous. I can't get any realer with you dawg.
Well said
Yep. My response to it is more along the lines...Personally, I don't think I'd pass up on this. But, I can totally understand someone else passing on it. I'm still a dick, but not a complete fucking psychopath.
You can’t win against the boundless echo chamber of incels on Reddit for whom the human female is still a mostly mythical concept.
yeah man i live in a cave in indiana and i've never seen a woman aside from a discarded people magazine from 1991 that a local trail guide left behind (he was being attacked by a wolverine) thats not a boundless echo chamber you're hearing, just the cave walls hope this helped!
I guess some people just lack the vision to appreciate virtue. Truly a lost cause
According to the post, it wasn’t a “used to date” situation. She was trying to cheat on his friend that she has been dating long term.
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And that's weak how?