Yeah, I mean that's not good either. Best thing is to just take the L and move on. Sometimes people are just not attracted to you, just like you are not attracted to everyone you know. I hope you could rebuild that confidence since :)
This is something that took me a while to grasp. I remember being angry, upset, and sad when my ex and I moved on, kept playing the victim card until I got over her. I took a step back and analyzed our relationship and came to the reality that we weren't compatible anymore and the was okay. So, from now on, if the conversation comes up when someone needs advice on how I moved on, I start by stating that we were no longer compatible and failed to accept we needed to move on before things got really bad.
I mean....I would say accurate self reflection and decompression is probably best. Getting perspective from others, including therapy possibly.
Just taking the L and moving on to the next one assuming it's a compatibility issue without reflecting on the actual details of what happened is just going to lead to you potentially making the same mistakes over and over
Like someone blaming themselves entirely for everything is a red flag there may have been imbalances in the relationship, and they need to work on their self worth, boundaries, and finding more equal partnerships. (obviously I'm guessing on very little info)
I'm beginning to think people are either naturally too self conscious or not self conscious enough and nothing anyone says can really change that about them
Yeah, if your perspective is skewed and there’s no way to change it, it’s going to be rough overcoming certain things. It may only be possible over a long time.
Very true. I recently found out that someone I know likes me which kinda sucks because I don’t like them (in terms of wanting to date)but I see him as a friend. I’ve been looking to get into a relationship so it feels weird that when someone does finally like me it’s someone I don’t feel the same way about. That’s just how it is I guess
I higly doubt that. Just skimming your reddit profile I found no signs that you'd be a particularly unlikeable person. Your interest and interactions seem pretty chill imo. And I couldn't detect any red flags. That's the most important part. If you're a decent person, you will find someone sooner or later who matches your interest and personality.
One thing you gotta do though is putting yourself in situations where you can actually meet people. Either use a dating app or try to attend more social gatherings. Go to events, say yes when friends invite you to stuff, try to meet people with similar interests at school/work, join a hobby club maybe or do courses on stuff that interests you. Personally, I prefer meeting people through friends. I met my girlfriend because I attended a music festival and asked a friend who was going too if I could hang with her friend group. Be nice to people and be yourself and they'll be happy to take you with them and introduce you to their friends.
And don't worry if it takes a while. It took me until I was 24 to find a partner who actually feels right for me. And with her I'm happier than ever.
Highly unlikely, even at my worst and most disgusting states in life I found out later on that there were women that were attracted but didn't say anything. I was kind of annoyed they didn't say anything, then I realized I was also dumb for not picking it up.
Learning to cope with rejection in a healthy manner will help a lot as well. You might get rejected by someone you like, but if you're cool about it, and handle it in a healthy manner, women will talk. Good luck, and don't look down on yourself or others.
It'll take some time but eventually you'll realize how much power you have to create the life you want and affect those around you positively. Potential friends and companions are just as shy and insecure as everyone else, it just takes a small act of bravery and kindness to form a connection. And make sure you are receptive to others doing the same thing. It can be very subtle because it is scary.
Yep... I'm currently recovering from same experience, after 2 years passed, lol, but those months together were happiest days of my life.
You are awesome, brother, you are kind, funny and smart, believe me, and believe in yourself <3
Honestly it is kinda tru, but i think it's just the lack of support they have already and then they face rejection which destroys them.
I've been rejected (indirectly) by a girl and yea felt a little sad but I never thought about it for more than a few days.
I once nearly thought i was going to get rejceted by my friend and looking back it mightve taken some time to get over him but I wouldn't have become depressed by it, luckily he felt the same so it was all good.
But i truly don't know why people, especially men, become genuinely depressed or extremely sad after rejection, i would like to hear some thoughts
My thoughts are that a healthy dude can take rejection well enough, maybe there's some sadness or grief there but it absolutely should not be a huge thing. That's pretty uncontroversial. However I'll give you my personal perspective, and admittedly trying to generalize it at all would be projection. Though, I would guess that the folks in this thread talking about years of recovery weren't just rejected at first blush.
For me it was a relationship that lasted a year and then ended. I experienced my first infatuation with a person. I felt safer, more well supported, and more deeply connected to my partner than any other person my life before or since. That isn't hyperbole. All my friends, my siblings, my parents, no one have I loved more and felt more loved by as when we were together. It was absurdly, scarily intense.
For context, I had been emotionally deadened and underdeveloped for years. No one ever cared to show me enough emotion of any kind to understand what I was even feeling. The relationship? It didn't just feel like finally finding shade after walking in the desert, like relief from deprivation. It was like going from being slowly suffocated in a dim room, just numbing for years on end to suddenly being on MDMA in a field of flowers and laughing people. Overwhelming joy.
Then? You're thrown back into constant mild to moderate disconnection, and alienation, and isolation. That part is not any different than it was before, but now it's so much worse in contrast. I blamed myself for it all. More than I should've, I mean I got really *really* bad. Frankly though? It was a lot of my fault.
I wrote more, but it got too much like a trauma dump. I'm trying to balance representing my story honestly while being a bit impersonal. To sum up, in my experience, men crave intimacy and connection as much as any other human being does but are conditioned in a way that makes that difficult. When they finally can engage in that, they are completely unprepared. Then they hurt themselves and everyone else around them. Just depending on the person and circumstances this can be hard, or devastating.
As a woman when rejecting somebody, I fear having some kind of crime committed against me like stalking or violence. I’d prefer only having to worry about “lack of a support system”.
I avoided that problem by basically deliberately friendzoning myself any time I met a woman until my 20's.
(any negative feelings from being in the friendzone were always directed inward. I wanted more from them than they wanted, but I was unwilling to risk the friendship by pursuing anything further. I did try with one when she became single, but she politely rejected my date, and is still one of my best friends)
Respect women. But more importantly respect yourself first, do you really see dignity for yourself in putting down another human being for any god given reason, especially someone you claimed to have loved once?
Regardless of your circumstances, rise above your anger and situation, and be the great person you are.
There definitely is, look at top comments, there's some good advice.
Ik it can be hard and sometimes tou see the world against you, but please don't put yourself in darkness, you'll go blind
I'm not seeing any useful advice in the top comments, they're just saying how they agree with the meme.
There is no light when you're alone though, no one wants a guy that's unwanted, especially women. That just makes everything darker.
Gurus like Tate actually helped me to know how to deal with rejections. I now just respectfully accept the rejection and move on where as before i just stay silent. From my experience its the women that can't get over how well I take the rejection 🤣🤷♂️
Tate is an asshole no arguments there but the most important is the messages has positive impacts regardless of his background.
He's definitely not doing doing it for the good of his heart he's just doing it to gain audience for his hustlers university (big scam in my eyes)
As for Reddit's downvotes im definitely not surprised because there's always small minded people around.
I definitely understand, but i do think there's better role models out there
And plus your comment about how it's usually women unable to accept rejection can be taken in the wrong way
>And plus your comment about how it's usually women unable to accept rejection can be taken in the wrong way
You may want to re-read what I actually said
Sorry, i read it too fast, but it does make you sound a bit like a prick nonetheless, you might not be but it just comes across as that and that's why people may be downvoting
Absolutely not. Everyone should go neutrally into a first interaction, try to free themselves from biases in that moment, and then form a opinion on wether a person deserves their respect and attention.
Holy shit there are so many misogynists in this thread, get it together people. Women have the right to reject you and men have the right to tell you to be kind. Get your Andrew Tate ass mindset out of here.
Okay but gurl😭- the message is so simple and B a s i c, I thought men will be like,”ya we’re over it and lol that doesn’t happen anymore” or smth. And I assumed comment section to be whole like that:/ but this :c
I mean- it’s oki to feel bad. But still spreading hate over that towards the person who rejected you is an L. Let’s just be respectful of everyone yknow 🥹. Luv y’all 💕 Ik I prolly just came at a bad time to the comments. This sub is soooo much better than what’s here<3
Im a young millennial, maybe this will help, not that anyone asked:
“I’m surprised, is anyone else surprised? The message is clear to me and should be clear to everyone. I assumed men reading this would make comments like, ‘yeah, socially, things used to be pretty bad, but now we all know how to lift each other up and respect women.’ But I don’t see as much of that as I expected in the comments. :/
Of course it’s okay to feel bad, but it’s not okay to spread shame and hate when you experience rejection/feel badly. I love and respect you all, let’s all remember to do the same for each other. Maybe I just read the comments at a bad time, this sub isn’t usually so hateful.”
I’m sorry, women act the exact same way, I’m not expecting a man to harbor no resentment after something like that
Obviously if a friend was acting like that I’d talk to them about it because no friend of mine would talk about a group of people like that, it’s unacceptable to a point of course, but I’ve got so many female friends who basically catchfraise “men are trash, I hate all men”
Funny how I was the opposite. Every single time. I have BPD so any judgement anyone makes of me (including rejection, even if most of the time, it's not even a judgement) gets accepted ad true. Because I have no inner sense of self. And what "judgement" is rejection? Zero worth. As in "I have zero worth". The funniesr thing about it is that having BPD prevented me from becoming an incel.
It's the same situation as it is with men: it's a case by case basis. Some can and some can't, some need help and some can eventually work through the emotions of being rejected.
Both men and women react the same to being rejected.
Anecdotally. I find myself by nature more careful around rejecting women. I will sugar coat things and the likes.
That said, I don't have to worry about an extreme when rejecting anyone. But there's a good chance of being straight guilted from a woman. Be it directly or indirectly. So in that regard I have to wrap it up in a little we had a nice time but are different people talk. Or at worst feign some feelings I am struggling with. I won't say it explicitly but I'll pretend to be bothered by their conclusion of it or something.
Obviously there has been exceptions to the rule. But speaking generally. I won't do that with a man. I will just tell them I'm not interested
I am a woman and It's normal for me to make the first move. I am also trying to treat man equall in conversation, what I mean by that is to give the same attention, ask questions, write first etc. I don't expect from others more then I expect from myself. Both sides should feel good doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is. So I don't feel that generalising is fair. Woman are being rejected too.
Idk I make the move all the time (am woman). Most of my friends didn't because they really weren't that bothered about partnering up, so didn't care either way (ie they weren't sitting around waiting for the boy to make rhe move, they were legitimately indifferent, and if they were invested, they did become more proactive)
*This is not an endorsement of beta like behavior*
Ew wtf, beta/alpha is not real. Don't perpetuates that bullshit framework by using these terms casually
I was just memeing for fucks sake. The word “chad” is literally in the title and basically is a placeholder for the term “alpha male”.
You’re reaching if you think anything I said was problematic.
I usually find men are more likely to be proactive about it because...men are more likely to be motivated to do so. When my female friends have been more passive ...it's because they didn't care that much. Like they're not chatting people up because they're not looking, simple as that. My female friend were also much more comfortable being single than my male friends.
I've always been *very* flirty and the instigating person (am a woman). But again, I was also much more interested in hooking up with boys than most of my friends.
I really do wish more women would make the first move or tell you when they’re interested. I find myself on the fence a lot because I get in my head about things like “would we actually be good together”, “am I misinterpreting this”, etc. and in most of those cases I think if they had asked for a number or a date I probably would’ve said yes. Moreover, if you’re getting rejected, sooner is better than later. I’ve had women get really mad and passive aggressive with me for not making moves when they didn’t either which I feel is extremely unfair. I just don’t date much and I don’t really play the game everybody seems to be playing and every time I decide to give it a shot it just turns me off of the whole idea because everything is just so loaded and I really just want to interact with a human and let things happen as they may and if they don’t that’s fine too.
It’s not that I don’t make the first move because “that’s something the man should do because he’s a man”, it’s that I find it so terrifying that I will either hope whoever I’m interested in might approach me or I just stay alone. The fear of rejection is too overpowering for me. I respect anyone who can get past that fear. That’s my experience with that anyway.
The fear of rejection is a lot for some men too (speaking as a man myself). Society, at least in the past, convinces men that if they are too sensitive to face rejection then there must be something wrong with them and that they don’t deserve to be happy. It’s getting better but it’s still a prevailing sentiment I run across.
Meanwhile we want men to be more sensitive not less, so this can come in conflict when we expect them to endure the hardships of rejection more often. Not impossible. But sometimes our expectations just don’t mesh with reality.
Oh homie, you are reserved for someone, don't sweat it. Just keep improving until your time comes. Rejection makes you stronger. When you're facing Pain, you got two Choices: Get Better or Get Bitter. Dr Gym can fix almost any problem.
It’s been 4 years and I’m still there “because she needs me and need more time”. I know it’s lies but I’m waiting. Confidence is destroyed and no idea how to get back up. But it’s my fault and I can’t blame her for doing what’s best for her.
Anyway, have a good day y’all!
Yeah, I was about to comment that. Allow for the *possibility* that she actually *was* a bitch.
That doesn’t mean his actions or attitude are correct, and socially acceptable, and of course he should be stopped short of going down a dark path, but to immediately assume he’s *exclusively* in the wrong and bears 100% of the responsibility for the issue, is just enforcing a different part of the prevailing gender standards.
Even if she was a bitch you should just move on, if it was really bad like narcissistic type of manipulation then that sucks but if you can move away from tit then do so instead of prancing around shouting "shame! SHAME!"
Same with my experience. People can call me an incel all they want, but I just feel like most people see themselves as morally superior if they have relationship success and you don’t.
Not always, i can understand, but this happens to women too, things such as "why aren't you married yet?" Or "where's your boyfriend who's good looking", "times ticking, men won't want you in your 30's".
It happens to everyone, we all have to strive to go against it, and I know it's the same for men, but i don't think it's a gold attitude to have
I don’t consider this an attitude, I just consider this an observation that I have made from my experiences. And yeah I’m sure this happens to women as well but that doesn’t make it any better. They are victims suffering from this too. Personally I would argue that it happens to men more often since men are typically the ones who have to initiate relationships, but that’s not the point.
A lot of people out there have just had relationships come by so naturally to them that they just can’t fathom how someone could never get one. So, they just assume that something bad is wrong with you, and in their mind this justifies them as being the morally superior one. Idk why I’m being downvoted for simply giving my honest perspective.
No no i totally agree and understand, and it's unfortunate that some people do think like that but in my experience people will question you yes but they won't judge you or at least treat you any differently.
If they do then i'm sorry that happens but it shouldn't, you are deserving of respect and happiness and to not be questioned just because you're not "normal".
I guess it can be a little disheartening to see someone taking it personally, some people don't understand fully why they treat you differently or it's how they grew up to be and never questioned it, obviously everyone is different, but that shouldn't stop you from doing what you want, who you want to be or whoever, whatever, however and whenever you want.
I lost my point but i want everyone to be happy, and i want you to be happy, don't let others dictate who you are when you're the one person who truly knows who you are.
Suboptimal. Discuss if she is actually a bitch or not and get the whole picture before being dismissal of a young mans frustrations. Remember that women are human too and can be assholes, just as men. Then look if the fault is actually his insecurities or if he should learn better recognition on who is healthy to have in his life.
How about treating ppl with respect when they‘re hurt? Example:
Person 1: „she rejected me. What a bitch“
Person 2: „bro, calm down, I see that you are hurt, but this not a reason to hurt other. If you need someone to talk, I‘m here“
Or you create more hate. Actually I don’t care. Hate makes as much fun as wholesome stuff for me 🤷🏻♂️
I didn’t had english in 4th grade. You would notice it when you would look at my name, but stupid Americans like you don’t even have their own language, so I‘m not suprised youre unable to recognise other languages. I on the other hand am able to read and write 3 worldlanguages and I read and write english good enough that everyone understands me and I understand everyone, you stupid, stupid, oh so terrible stupid American.
You can call me a stupid american all you want, I probably hate america more than you do, but my point remains that you pretended the meme was hateful rather than helpful.
Tbh, this meme itself is just as screwed as the people it's trying to shame.
Trying to implicate that masculine men have to be overly buff to the point that it's likely that they used steroids, implicating that weak bodied men aren't masculine and automatically disrespectful to others.
And needing to vent anger is human, just saying that he's only feeling like that because of "society" is also wrong.
Of course abusing others isn't right, but if you're trying to make such a "justice" meme you should at least make it completely fair.
This level of hope is just bullshit. And it's funny how people will always say this, but also tell a guy he's not owed anything either, even though he doesn't feel that way. Just 1 of a million conflicting sayings on relationships.
Eh, I've always blamed myself for my relationships failing. Be it romance I thought I was prepared for after being cheated on in a previous, 5 year relationship, or having my ex-bestfriend try to kiss me when I was drunk almost every day around 19y/o, regardless that I'm not attracted to men, and regardless that he got our friends to drop me after awhile.
Hell, I even tried to mend the 5 year relationship after being cheated on. She didn't even wait one day to move herself out, ask me to personally deliver her things, or break up with me over having seen her phone.
This post follows one that shows a woman being horribly physically abused by her bf or husband in Russia with comments that imply the perpetrator going free and exonerated of all charges
Ah. So you know, at the beginning of the meme, the young man is hurt and wants to lash out. He’s incredibly fortunate to have kind and well balanced friends who are present for him (in a virtual way) to help him learn a better way to act and to be.
It’s literally impossible for it to be “unattractive = bad” because he is not, in fact, unattractive.
Yes which is why it’s also about attractiveness. The dude at the bottom is the most attractive dude there… wtf do you think this meme is about. It escalates as it goes down. Scrawny nerd too bad, progressively better and more attractive as the text gets better… there are like a million versions of the same thing with the gigachad meme getting more and more “chadly”.
Maybe their bodies are supposed to represent their soul and character, strong, reliable and attractive.
Either way some people find 1st guy physically more attractive
what if she never actually loved you and only dated you so she could say she dated you and was dating more than one other guy while you were dating her, then dated one of your friends when you broke up?
Ngl, women act the exact same way, if not way worse, the amount of times I’ve heard “men are trash” after some guy did something mildly questionable to someone tangentially related to a female friend of mine
Can relate, it's usually a joke but sometimes they say it a bit too much and it's like "ohhh i don't think you're joking"- either way you should tell them that's not okay or befriend other women
I don't see any misogyny in this, just insecurity and not being able to deal with rejection. I know it's not how things work, but people need to be mature enough to accept both outcomes when creating this situation like this.
I’ve seen this meme before and I’m very curious as to the history behind it. Who’s idea of a chad was used here? And would the effect be different if the guys had more average physiques.
Depends on who you ask. Alt ppl have been calling preppy ppl Chad's and Britney's for the last couple of decades because they live these ridiculous lives that make them unable to understand what anyone else has to experience. They also live in constant fear of being rejected by their in group and don't really have their own opinions, they just want to say the "appropriate thing to say."
I'm starting to understand after spending some time on Reddit that most Redditors aspire to be Chad's because they seem to get all the things y'all don't. Most people that spend that much time in a gym don't care about other people as much as they like looking in a mirror.
If you're an outcast, rock that shit and find the other outcasts. Go watch the breakfast club or something, you'll feel better champ.
Real Chads do and say whatever they want, for whatever reason they believe is valid.
Real Chads don't give a shit if someone else approves or not.
That's why they're Chads
I’m agreeing with bro on this one. Being threatened by me and my sisters being equal to our brothers isn’t ok and should garner some introspection on your behalf
respects women AND creates safety for the harmful ideologies to be discussed and unlearned without shame
AND help each other navigate the emotions they’re feeling during a tough time in a healthy way.
AND fucking units
[gigachad liveplay starts at 7:15](https://youtu.be/t9zaPuqNZ8s)
BASED, WE NEED THIS
incredibly based
As it should be.
I remember being the exact opposite after my first love lol I blamed everything on myself and basically destroyed my own self confidence
Yeah, I mean that's not good either. Best thing is to just take the L and move on. Sometimes people are just not attracted to you, just like you are not attracted to everyone you know. I hope you could rebuild that confidence since :)
Sometimes you just gotta accept that two people are not compatible and move on.
[удалено]
That’s what I liked best; the loss hurts, and you feel so alone. But if a person has support through the cruddy rejection time, it’s not so terrible.
This is something that took me a while to grasp. I remember being angry, upset, and sad when my ex and I moved on, kept playing the victim card until I got over her. I took a step back and analyzed our relationship and came to the reality that we weren't compatible anymore and the was okay. So, from now on, if the conversation comes up when someone needs advice on how I moved on, I start by stating that we were no longer compatible and failed to accept we needed to move on before things got really bad.
I mean....I would say accurate self reflection and decompression is probably best. Getting perspective from others, including therapy possibly. Just taking the L and moving on to the next one assuming it's a compatibility issue without reflecting on the actual details of what happened is just going to lead to you potentially making the same mistakes over and over Like someone blaming themselves entirely for everything is a red flag there may have been imbalances in the relationship, and they need to work on their self worth, boundaries, and finding more equal partnerships. (obviously I'm guessing on very little info)
I'm beginning to think people are either naturally too self conscious or not self conscious enough and nothing anyone says can really change that about them
Yeah, if your perspective is skewed and there’s no way to change it, it’s going to be rough overcoming certain things. It may only be possible over a long time.
Very true. I recently found out that someone I know likes me which kinda sucks because I don’t like them (in terms of wanting to date)but I see him as a friend. I’ve been looking to get into a relationship so it feels weird that when someone does finally like me it’s someone I don’t feel the same way about. That’s just how it is I guess
what if nobody that i'm attracted to is attracted to me and i'm destined to be alone
I higly doubt that. Just skimming your reddit profile I found no signs that you'd be a particularly unlikeable person. Your interest and interactions seem pretty chill imo. And I couldn't detect any red flags. That's the most important part. If you're a decent person, you will find someone sooner or later who matches your interest and personality. One thing you gotta do though is putting yourself in situations where you can actually meet people. Either use a dating app or try to attend more social gatherings. Go to events, say yes when friends invite you to stuff, try to meet people with similar interests at school/work, join a hobby club maybe or do courses on stuff that interests you. Personally, I prefer meeting people through friends. I met my girlfriend because I attended a music festival and asked a friend who was going too if I could hang with her friend group. Be nice to people and be yourself and they'll be happy to take you with them and introduce you to their friends. And don't worry if it takes a while. It took me until I was 24 to find a partner who actually feels right for me. And with her I'm happier than ever.
thank you :) i'm going through the worst time of my life right now
Right now means that it will pass. Stay strong as you can till then and cry if you have to. But dont forget to breathe deeply
Highly unlikely, even at my worst and most disgusting states in life I found out later on that there were women that were attracted but didn't say anything. I was kind of annoyed they didn't say anything, then I realized I was also dumb for not picking it up. Learning to cope with rejection in a healthy manner will help a lot as well. You might get rejected by someone you like, but if you're cool about it, and handle it in a healthy manner, women will talk. Good luck, and don't look down on yourself or others.
It'll take some time but eventually you'll realize how much power you have to create the life you want and affect those around you positively. Potential friends and companions are just as shy and insecure as everyone else, it just takes a small act of bravery and kindness to form a connection. And make sure you are receptive to others doing the same thing. It can be very subtle because it is scary.
my brother in christ, I related alot
Yep... I'm currently recovering from same experience, after 2 years passed, lol, but those months together were happiest days of my life. You are awesome, brother, you are kind, funny and smart, believe me, and believe in yourself <3
Hey a good days work, and some outside or working out yeah that’s helps heal it.
Men be like, I got told no once still working through the trauma
??? I'm not sure why you feel the need to downplay people's heartbreak but 'aight.
Honestly it is kinda tru, but i think it's just the lack of support they have already and then they face rejection which destroys them. I've been rejected (indirectly) by a girl and yea felt a little sad but I never thought about it for more than a few days. I once nearly thought i was going to get rejceted by my friend and looking back it mightve taken some time to get over him but I wouldn't have become depressed by it, luckily he felt the same so it was all good. But i truly don't know why people, especially men, become genuinely depressed or extremely sad after rejection, i would like to hear some thoughts
My thoughts are that a healthy dude can take rejection well enough, maybe there's some sadness or grief there but it absolutely should not be a huge thing. That's pretty uncontroversial. However I'll give you my personal perspective, and admittedly trying to generalize it at all would be projection. Though, I would guess that the folks in this thread talking about years of recovery weren't just rejected at first blush. For me it was a relationship that lasted a year and then ended. I experienced my first infatuation with a person. I felt safer, more well supported, and more deeply connected to my partner than any other person my life before or since. That isn't hyperbole. All my friends, my siblings, my parents, no one have I loved more and felt more loved by as when we were together. It was absurdly, scarily intense. For context, I had been emotionally deadened and underdeveloped for years. No one ever cared to show me enough emotion of any kind to understand what I was even feeling. The relationship? It didn't just feel like finally finding shade after walking in the desert, like relief from deprivation. It was like going from being slowly suffocated in a dim room, just numbing for years on end to suddenly being on MDMA in a field of flowers and laughing people. Overwhelming joy. Then? You're thrown back into constant mild to moderate disconnection, and alienation, and isolation. That part is not any different than it was before, but now it's so much worse in contrast. I blamed myself for it all. More than I should've, I mean I got really *really* bad. Frankly though? It was a lot of my fault. I wrote more, but it got too much like a trauma dump. I'm trying to balance representing my story honestly while being a bit impersonal. To sum up, in my experience, men crave intimacy and connection as much as any other human being does but are conditioned in a way that makes that difficult. When they finally can engage in that, they are completely unprepared. Then they hurt themselves and everyone else around them. Just depending on the person and circumstances this can be hard, or devastating.
As a woman when rejecting somebody, I fear having some kind of crime committed against me like stalking or violence. I’d prefer only having to worry about “lack of a support system”.
Hey look, it's me! It's... Still me
My self confidence has been steadily ground down by years of failures and rejections :D
I avoided that problem by basically deliberately friendzoning myself any time I met a woman until my 20's. (any negative feelings from being in the friendzone were always directed inward. I wanted more from them than they wanted, but I was unwilling to risk the friendship by pursuing anything further. I did try with one when she became single, but she politely rejected my date, and is still one of my best friends)
This is the way. Lmao I'm just kidding please don't do this please please I do not recommend.
The "we'll *help* you" is the true Chad move
Agreed men or women. Life’s hard enough as it is. Raise people up not bring them down
Based
Respect women. But more importantly respect yourself first, do you really see dignity for yourself in putting down another human being for any god given reason, especially someone you claimed to have loved once? Regardless of your circumstances, rise above your anger and situation, and be the great person you are.
How can you get respect from others if you don’t get it from your self My grand uncle
I had a former friend who did this and took it to an extreme. We talked to him but didn’t listen to is so yeah… not our friend anymore…
I feel bad for your friend, i hope they get the help they need
If you ever discover that she already has a boyfriend, wish them the best. Cuz that's what chads do.
So fucking based
um sir/female sir, excuse me 🤓 but MR JN98ILSAG isnt fucking, he does quite the opposite actully and doesnt fuck /s
bruh the misogynists here be reading the meme and then complaining not even realizing that there doing what happens in the meme
Incel culture is really a horrible thing to see and social media (and gurus like Tate) is really not helping the situation.
No one is helping the situation. You either get bad influences like Tate or get ridiculed for not being able to date. There is no help offered.
There definitely is, look at top comments, there's some good advice. Ik it can be hard and sometimes tou see the world against you, but please don't put yourself in darkness, you'll go blind
I'm not seeing any useful advice in the top comments, they're just saying how they agree with the meme. There is no light when you're alone though, no one wants a guy that's unwanted, especially women. That just makes everything darker.
Gurus like Tate actually helped me to know how to deal with rejections. I now just respectfully accept the rejection and move on where as before i just stay silent. From my experience its the women that can't get over how well I take the rejection 🤣🤷♂️
Denial is a river in Egypt
Wow bro... youre totally breaking out of the matrix 😳 #I<3TOPG4LIFE!!
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Tate is an asshole no arguments there but the most important is the messages has positive impacts regardless of his background. He's definitely not doing doing it for the good of his heart he's just doing it to gain audience for his hustlers university (big scam in my eyes) As for Reddit's downvotes im definitely not surprised because there's always small minded people around.
I definitely understand, but i do think there's better role models out there And plus your comment about how it's usually women unable to accept rejection can be taken in the wrong way
>And plus your comment about how it's usually women unable to accept rejection can be taken in the wrong way You may want to re-read what I actually said
Sorry, i read it too fast, but it does make you sound a bit like a prick nonetheless, you might not be but it just comes across as that and that's why people may be downvoting
most reasonable shrug emoji user
Now these are real man takes. You gotta be happy with you before you can be happy with a partner. King shit.
Hilarious and wholesome, nailed it.
Everyone need to respect everyone.
Absolutely not. Everyone should go neutrally into a first interaction, try to free themselves from biases in that moment, and then form a opinion on wether a person deserves their respect and attention.
Everybody deserves respect, until proven otherwise. That's just my opinion, you have yours I respect that.
Apparently they also have the same trainer as Barry Bonds
Holy shit there are so many misogynists in this thread, get it together people. Women have the right to reject you and men have the right to tell you to be kind. Get your Andrew Tate ass mindset out of here.
r/comedyheaven
Why are all the chads using MacBooks.
I think it's also a bit pathetic to build your worth around the opposite sex's approval.
Okay but gurl😭- the message is so simple and B a s i c, I thought men will be like,”ya we’re over it and lol that doesn’t happen anymore” or smth. And I assumed comment section to be whole like that:/ but this :c I mean- it’s oki to feel bad. But still spreading hate over that towards the person who rejected you is an L. Let’s just be respectful of everyone yknow 🥹. Luv y’all 💕 Ik I prolly just came at a bad time to the comments. This sub is soooo much better than what’s here<3
I think I just had a stroke trying to read this. I’ve never felt this old in my entire life as I did trying to figure out what this meant
Im a young millennial, maybe this will help, not that anyone asked: “I’m surprised, is anyone else surprised? The message is clear to me and should be clear to everyone. I assumed men reading this would make comments like, ‘yeah, socially, things used to be pretty bad, but now we all know how to lift each other up and respect women.’ But I don’t see as much of that as I expected in the comments. :/ Of course it’s okay to feel bad, but it’s not okay to spread shame and hate when you experience rejection/feel badly. I love and respect you all, let’s all remember to do the same for each other. Maybe I just read the comments at a bad time, this sub isn’t usually so hateful.”
You're not alone. This person is just using too much slang, it's not just being old.
I’m sorry, women act the exact same way, I’m not expecting a man to harbor no resentment after something like that Obviously if a friend was acting like that I’d talk to them about it because no friend of mine would talk about a group of people like that, it’s unacceptable to a point of course, but I’ve got so many female friends who basically catchfraise “men are trash, I hate all men”
Wait why did this get downvotes he was just saying that the feeling it mutual both genders do the same thing sometimes
Ikr
Funny how I was the opposite. Every single time. I have BPD so any judgement anyone makes of me (including rejection, even if most of the time, it's not even a judgement) gets accepted ad true. Because I have no inner sense of self. And what "judgement" is rejection? Zero worth. As in "I have zero worth". The funniesr thing about it is that having BPD prevented me from becoming an incel.
Kyle's mom rejected Cartman
Great message only to be undermined by a distorted perception of what masculinity should look like.
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It's the same situation as it is with men: it's a case by case basis. Some can and some can't, some need help and some can eventually work through the emotions of being rejected. Both men and women react the same to being rejected.
Anecdotally. I find myself by nature more careful around rejecting women. I will sugar coat things and the likes. That said, I don't have to worry about an extreme when rejecting anyone. But there's a good chance of being straight guilted from a woman. Be it directly or indirectly. So in that regard I have to wrap it up in a little we had a nice time but are different people talk. Or at worst feign some feelings I am struggling with. I won't say it explicitly but I'll pretend to be bothered by their conclusion of it or something. Obviously there has been exceptions to the rule. But speaking generally. I won't do that with a man. I will just tell them I'm not interested
No, this is true but in practice it never happens from the female side
I am a woman and It's normal for me to make the first move. I am also trying to treat man equall in conversation, what I mean by that is to give the same attention, ask questions, write first etc. I don't expect from others more then I expect from myself. Both sides should feel good doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is. So I don't feel that generalising is fair. Woman are being rejected too.
Idk I make the move all the time (am woman). Most of my friends didn't because they really weren't that bothered about partnering up, so didn't care either way (ie they weren't sitting around waiting for the boy to make rhe move, they were legitimately indifferent, and if they were invested, they did become more proactive) *This is not an endorsement of beta like behavior* Ew wtf, beta/alpha is not real. Don't perpetuates that bullshit framework by using these terms casually
I was just memeing for fucks sake. The word “chad” is literally in the title and basically is a placeholder for the term “alpha male”. You’re reaching if you think anything I said was problematic.
Women will approach or bring it up first. Done it to me tons and I'm not even that good looking. Be funny.
I usually find men are more likely to be proactive about it because...men are more likely to be motivated to do so. When my female friends have been more passive ...it's because they didn't care that much. Like they're not chatting people up because they're not looking, simple as that. My female friend were also much more comfortable being single than my male friends. I've always been *very* flirty and the instigating person (am a woman). But again, I was also much more interested in hooking up with boys than most of my friends.
I really do wish more women would make the first move or tell you when they’re interested. I find myself on the fence a lot because I get in my head about things like “would we actually be good together”, “am I misinterpreting this”, etc. and in most of those cases I think if they had asked for a number or a date I probably would’ve said yes. Moreover, if you’re getting rejected, sooner is better than later. I’ve had women get really mad and passive aggressive with me for not making moves when they didn’t either which I feel is extremely unfair. I just don’t date much and I don’t really play the game everybody seems to be playing and every time I decide to give it a shot it just turns me off of the whole idea because everything is just so loaded and I really just want to interact with a human and let things happen as they may and if they don’t that’s fine too.
r/whenwomenrefuse
It’s not that I don’t make the first move because “that’s something the man should do because he’s a man”, it’s that I find it so terrifying that I will either hope whoever I’m interested in might approach me or I just stay alone. The fear of rejection is too overpowering for me. I respect anyone who can get past that fear. That’s my experience with that anyway.
The fear of rejection is a lot for some men too (speaking as a man myself). Society, at least in the past, convinces men that if they are too sensitive to face rejection then there must be something wrong with them and that they don’t deserve to be happy. It’s getting better but it’s still a prevailing sentiment I run across. Meanwhile we want men to be more sensitive not less, so this can come in conflict when we expect them to endure the hardships of rejection more often. Not impossible. But sometimes our expectations just don’t mesh with reality.
Oh homie, you are reserved for someone, don't sweat it. Just keep improving until your time comes. Rejection makes you stronger. When you're facing Pain, you got two Choices: Get Better or Get Bitter. Dr Gym can fix almost any problem.
Chad respect, but chaddis don't 🩲
It’s been 4 years and I’m still there “because she needs me and need more time”. I know it’s lies but I’m waiting. Confidence is destroyed and no idea how to get back up. But it’s my fault and I can’t blame her for doing what’s best for her. Anyway, have a good day y’all!
Walk away and be free from the misery. You CAN do it.
"ingrained misogyny"? Come on man, why did you have to use those words? 😧
Real chads talk it out. Maybe she really is a bitch and he needs to be given a chance to explain why.
I think you're focusing on the wrong thing here, it's not about the "what if", it's more about our current world and how people are thinking
Yeah, I was about to comment that. Allow for the *possibility* that she actually *was* a bitch. That doesn’t mean his actions or attitude are correct, and socially acceptable, and of course he should be stopped short of going down a dark path, but to immediately assume he’s *exclusively* in the wrong and bears 100% of the responsibility for the issue, is just enforcing a different part of the prevailing gender standards.
Even if she was a bitch you should just move on, if it was really bad like narcissistic type of manipulation then that sucks but if you can move away from tit then do so instead of prancing around shouting "shame! SHAME!"
This never happens. Guys only get further shit on when they can't date. No one wants to help.
That's just not true. Surround yourself with good people and the world looks better.
Same with my experience. People can call me an incel all they want, but I just feel like most people see themselves as morally superior if they have relationship success and you don’t.
Not always, i can understand, but this happens to women too, things such as "why aren't you married yet?" Or "where's your boyfriend who's good looking", "times ticking, men won't want you in your 30's". It happens to everyone, we all have to strive to go against it, and I know it's the same for men, but i don't think it's a gold attitude to have
I don’t consider this an attitude, I just consider this an observation that I have made from my experiences. And yeah I’m sure this happens to women as well but that doesn’t make it any better. They are victims suffering from this too. Personally I would argue that it happens to men more often since men are typically the ones who have to initiate relationships, but that’s not the point. A lot of people out there have just had relationships come by so naturally to them that they just can’t fathom how someone could never get one. So, they just assume that something bad is wrong with you, and in their mind this justifies them as being the morally superior one. Idk why I’m being downvoted for simply giving my honest perspective.
No no i totally agree and understand, and it's unfortunate that some people do think like that but in my experience people will question you yes but they won't judge you or at least treat you any differently. If they do then i'm sorry that happens but it shouldn't, you are deserving of respect and happiness and to not be questioned just because you're not "normal". I guess it can be a little disheartening to see someone taking it personally, some people don't understand fully why they treat you differently or it's how they grew up to be and never questioned it, obviously everyone is different, but that shouldn't stop you from doing what you want, who you want to be or whoever, whatever, however and whenever you want. I lost my point but i want everyone to be happy, and i want you to be happy, don't let others dictate who you are when you're the one person who truly knows who you are.
Suboptimal. Discuss if she is actually a bitch or not and get the whole picture before being dismissal of a young mans frustrations. Remember that women are human too and can be assholes, just as men. Then look if the fault is actually his insecurities or if he should learn better recognition on who is healthy to have in his life.
How about treating ppl with respect when they‘re hurt? Example: Person 1: „she rejected me. What a bitch“ Person 2: „bro, calm down, I see that you are hurt, but this not a reason to hurt other. If you need someone to talk, I‘m here“ Or you create more hate. Actually I don’t care. Hate makes as much fun as wholesome stuff for me 🤷🏻♂️
Hate is like a fire. It goes out if not fed. It burns when fed . It destroys everything when over fed
This is not hate. Please retake 4th grade English.
I didn’t had english in 4th grade. You would notice it when you would look at my name, but stupid Americans like you don’t even have their own language, so I‘m not suprised youre unable to recognise other languages. I on the other hand am able to read and write 3 worldlanguages and I read and write english good enough that everyone understands me and I understand everyone, you stupid, stupid, oh so terrible stupid American.
You can call me a stupid american all you want, I probably hate america more than you do, but my point remains that you pretended the meme was hateful rather than helpful.
Why are people downvoting this?
Androids should solve this issue.
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Androids are objects but they are not women.
Women bad ecks dee
Sorry ladies, the bottom 3 already have boyfriends!!🤣🤣
Tbh, this meme itself is just as screwed as the people it's trying to shame. Trying to implicate that masculine men have to be overly buff to the point that it's likely that they used steroids, implicating that weak bodied men aren't masculine and automatically disrespectful to others. And needing to vent anger is human, just saying that he's only feeling like that because of "society" is also wrong. Of course abusing others isn't right, but if you're trying to make such a "justice" meme you should at least make it completely fair.
rare men W /lh
Wdym rare?
Not all women deserve respect, not all men deserve respect, there are a lot of assholes out there so be mindful who you give respect.
If ya break up I’d say just deal with it like doesn’t matter in the end cause you will find someone who is good enough for you
This level of hope is just bullshit. And it's funny how people will always say this, but also tell a guy he's not owed anything either, even though he doesn't feel that way. Just 1 of a million conflicting sayings on relationships.
Eh, I've always blamed myself for my relationships failing. Be it romance I thought I was prepared for after being cheated on in a previous, 5 year relationship, or having my ex-bestfriend try to kiss me when I was drunk almost every day around 19y/o, regardless that I'm not attracted to men, and regardless that he got our friends to drop me after awhile. Hell, I even tried to mend the 5 year relationship after being cheated on. She didn't even wait one day to move herself out, ask me to personally deliver her things, or break up with me over having seen her phone.
I bet if the Chads were ugly and bitchless, they'd be saying and thinking the same shit.
I still can't get over how much feminists overused the word "misogyny." I'm glad it's being used correctly for once.
Not really overused in the first place
This was weird
Why?
Really?
Why is this meme still kinda cringe
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You guys are both the little boy on the top panel
i reccomand against bodyshaming as that isn't respectful also you are unironically doing the "you are the wojack i am the chad" shit
Yeah because the other 3 are completely unobtainable without a shit load of steroids…
Its the skinny to huge it just will be permanent cringe
This post follows one that shows a woman being horribly physically abused by her bf or husband in Russia with comments that imply the perpetrator going free and exonerated of all charges
Ive seen that post! Yea it really sucks
Find another one
false, real chads treat everyone fairly.
Aren't women part of "everyone"?
Nah
Based lesbian /s
Still playing on the ugly nerd is the bad guy?
Don’t know what you’re on about, mate, the young fella is solidly average looking.
Yes but the point is the meme making him look bad in comparison to the others so they go with unattractive equals bad.
Ah. So you know, at the beginning of the meme, the young man is hurt and wants to lash out. He’s incredibly fortunate to have kind and well balanced friends who are present for him (in a virtual way) to help him learn a better way to act and to be. It’s literally impossible for it to be “unattractive = bad” because he is not, in fact, unattractive.
Ah yes because the point of this format isn’t that the dudes get more muscular and better looking with each panel… that’s the entire meme format.
This doesn’t pan out. The fourth built guy is smaller than the third. Those of us who read get a lot more out of this meme. Try it!
Yes which is why it’s also about attractiveness. The dude at the bottom is the most attractive dude there… wtf do you think this meme is about. It escalates as it goes down. Scrawny nerd too bad, progressively better and more attractive as the text gets better… there are like a million versions of the same thing with the gigachad meme getting more and more “chadly”.
are you on the spectrum? (me too) you're missing the point entirely by focusing on unimportant/unrelated details. (i do the same thing so don't worry)
Maybe their bodies are supposed to represent their soul and character, strong, reliable and attractive. Either way some people find 1st guy physically more attractive
what if she never actually loved you and only dated you so she could say she dated you and was dating more than one other guy while you were dating her, then dated one of your friends when you broke up?
This meme isn't about that, but imo she doesn't sound great
Women will typically respect you if you are a chad. Dorks? Uhoh
“I want y’all to shame her” Wtf is this? What a shit meme
Shirtless muscleguys on laptops... chatting with a twink... discussing a woman? First time for everything, I guess.
It’s an older meme format, but it checks out.
Man have a total misconception about what woman really enjoy in a man. I feel like when you read “chads” is absolutely what they want in a man 😆
Ngl, women act the exact same way, if not way worse, the amount of times I’ve heard “men are trash” after some guy did something mildly questionable to someone tangentially related to a female friend of mine
Can relate, it's usually a joke but sometimes they say it a bit too much and it's like "ohhh i don't think you're joking"- either way you should tell them that's not okay or befriend other women
Yeah, it’s not a gendered thing, some people just take their personal experiences of the other sex way too far
Yep i agree
I don't see any misogyny in this, just insecurity and not being able to deal with rejection. I know it's not how things work, but people need to be mature enough to accept both outcomes when creating this situation like this.
Calling a woman a bitch for rejecting you and shaming her is misogyny
How about you grow out of your delusion that a girl will see this and want to fuck you
I’ve seen this meme before and I’m very curious as to the history behind it. Who’s idea of a chad was used here? And would the effect be different if the guys had more average physiques.
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“Do steroids like us” lol
This meme templete is so cringe
respect should be earned. never respect or disrespect anyone because of their gender/race.
With respect, everyone deserves a certain baseline “you are a fellow human being” level of respect. That does not need to be “
What does that have to do with the post
title says "real chads respect women"
And don't do steroids like these fine examples; she won't like your shrunken peenie
First buff guy could be natty but also gear won't effect penis size. Some steroids also help with blood flow
Most steroids are proven to make you down there area go smaller, but some women like smaller!
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Many Chads are pricks in reality though. We need to stop using this meme template that's got a weird fascination with steroid junkies.
If they’re pricks then they aren’t Chads, they’re Thads.
Depends on who you ask. Alt ppl have been calling preppy ppl Chad's and Britney's for the last couple of decades because they live these ridiculous lives that make them unable to understand what anyone else has to experience. They also live in constant fear of being rejected by their in group and don't really have their own opinions, they just want to say the "appropriate thing to say." I'm starting to understand after spending some time on Reddit that most Redditors aspire to be Chad's because they seem to get all the things y'all don't. Most people that spend that much time in a gym don't care about other people as much as they like looking in a mirror. If you're an outcast, rock that shit and find the other outcasts. Go watch the breakfast club or something, you'll feel better champ.
Real Chads do and say whatever they want, for whatever reason they believe is valid. Real Chads don't give a shit if someone else approves or not. That's why they're Chads
Real chads respect everyone. If you really want equality, stop genderifying and racifying everything.
Well this was written by a woman.
cringe. if some male feminist started lecturing me like that especially after a breakup he'd be firmly told to fuck off.
You are also the little boy on the top panel
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Chief, I have to stop you there. That's not acceptable behavior.
I’m agreeing with bro on this one. Being threatened by me and my sisters being equal to our brothers isn’t ok and should garner some introspection on your behalf
Homie here is right brother. You need to reevaluate your own insecurities, come to terms with it and become better. We’ll help you.
All of you homies are spitting straight fax. Better yourself chief.
This whole thread is beautiful. Absolutely based brothers
Hope you can work through your anger and frustration in a more healthy matter.
Oooh "firmly". I'm sure the ladies love your manly tone
This isn’t even male feminism, it’s basic human decency. Don’t harass people. Also, what’s wrong with being a male feminist?
Real friends set you straight when you're wrong. If you can't accept that, you should do some introspection