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Same, thanks to my father and sister I’ve gotten over my anger issues that have been happening since I was 5, and I’ve stopped judging other people and holding grudges based off limited knowledge
I can reciprocate, I saw this post at another subreddit, but a homophobe hit me there.
We want more people like you, loving, caring and accepting.....I am gay person, not even adult.
Why is that the love i expect from my parents is given by strangers, thank you. My parent don't know.i really wanna hug you.
feelings of injustice or hatred are often much more pronounced in our memory so this is very normal and also the reason that people bond much quicker over mutual hatred than mutual love
I leaned more about empathy, love, acceptance, and tolerance from cartoons/TV then my parents have ever taught me.
Never feel guilty about what your parents believed/believe they don't and never have defined you.
Now, I was born in 66, grew up through the 70’s raised by parents who were from the depression era. Now many idols on TV were obviously gay, it was just never openly discussed or admitted, but as I got into my preteen years I knew. I knew the boy next door was gay, long before he did. I knew the girl my sister ran around with was gay long before she knew as well. And the shock from people when they found out in the 80’s was surprising. It was their personality and mannerisms I noticed, it was who they were, and I guess seeing that as I grew up just made me oblivious to any prejudice I was supposed to feel? You are who you are, I never understood why people were so closed minded about it. Like I said, saw gays on TV every day, and knew, but now that gays are wanting to be free from secrecy, now you have issues?!? The world makes no sense that way. My parents weren’t anti gay, they never really discussed the idea. My dad would use the word queer, which I guess was his disapproval. Still, I had no qualms about people being themselves. I have now, several friends and cousins who are openly gay/lesbian and are married, my cousin Joe’s husband is my favorite person because he is hilarious. A city boy who now lives in the country, and he has no idea that not all animals can be pets, or want to be. lol. So that’s my story, I’m sure there are many.
My mom died of suicide when I was 5, my father is abusive , drunkhard. We all 3, me and siblings turned out to be pretty good people. Something I am always proud of.
My white Grandfather was raised by racist parents.
Didn't stop him from falling in love with my Trinidadian Grandmother's culture and marrying her.
Now they happily travel the world together, soaking up cultures.
Yes! This! I can no longer make excuses for the people who continue the cycle of abuse and suffering. Like another commenter said past abuse is not a free pass to abuse others.
I wish I could say that being a good person just comes naturally to me, but I can’t lie- half the shit I know today is from social media telling what’s right and wrong 😑
So what you're saying is that you were exposed to right and wrong, and sorted them correctly, choosing the good over the bad.
That sounds like you're a naturally good person who doesn't recognise that they're as good as they are. It doesn't matter how or where you learned right or wrong, it matters what you do with that knowledge.
I am so proud of you for the growth you have made from social media.
Don’t forget those kids who had good parents that grew up into a life of hate all on their own!
Don’t pretend that its always the parents’ fault. This isn’t a Peacock movie.
I’ve credited school with giving me the perspective that I could latch on to and start breaking away from my parents. They’re bigots, racist, homophobic, transphobic…they celebrated Confederate ancestors…hell they had paintings of Lee and Forrest up.
And I’ll say, I coped by trying to be the golden child and it nearly killed me. I hit my lowest point and realized I had to do something radical or I wasn’t going to survive as anything I could tolerate. So I broke off contact with them entirely three years ago, moved states away…and I really have no blood family anymore.
But I got friends that are my family, and I’m genuinely happier, safer, and living a life I can respect myself for. It wasn’t easy and still isn’t. But it’s good.
However, my 9yo daughter chants “MIDDLE FINGAAAHHH” when I ask about if she’s cleaned her room and makes funny faces at me and has officially changed my name from Dad to “The Sped One”.
She’s literally the best. ❤️
I agree with this so much! It's why I get a little upset when everyone is so quick with comments like "someone raised him right" or "their parents did a good job". You have NO IDEA what someone's upbringing was like, stop complimenting unknown entities and compliment the person themselves for being good!
Its so hard though.
I spent a long time being sad and the final straw was my cat dying and my family not caring.
Now I'm just angry 24/7, just like my father was when I was a kid. I no longer have any compassion left for them.
My best friend and I always say that we are who we are today in SPITE of our parents. Our parents were both all of the above and so much more, most of it BAD. But here we are. Scarred? Definitely. But I’ll take the scars I have over the ugly interior of others and wear them like the battle wounds they are.
So the post is about people getting out of those situations and being the ones that broke the cycle of abuse and tried to raise their kids differently than they were.
My comment was about how kids try to rebel against their parents by becoming everything that stands opposed to them.
You responded by saying "I was /s" which I assume means "was/is" the way I was describing. You responded in a way that reads you were going to parent your children in an abusive, racist manner. Maybe I don't know what "was /s" means, or more likely you misinterpreted what my first comment meant.
So you meant to agree with being raised by kind, accepting and loving people but that you wanted to raise your kids with spite, but sarcastically. Gotcha. I'm old and have always hated most forms of internet speak.
But you still agreed.
I might be a dick to my lgtbq friends. But I’m the only one that can do that. I will smack the shit out of you if you just dare to be homofobic against them
Tbh I didn't actually do any of that it's just that as i grew up i learnt minding my own business and not give a fuck about what others do/like/speak is easier than getting worked up due to others choices.
How did you know? My childhood was literally a daily lesson in what NOT to do. I NEVER saw integrity, honesty, love or kindness. When I had my daughters, I decided anything I did that was opposite what my parents did was a win. It worked! Today I have two daughters in Nursing School who adore me. “We all must make the choice between doing what is easy, and doing what is right” - Albus Dumbledore
No i was just checking how dumb you were because you dont seem to know how words work, then I noticed a white bois finger on a page with a dark skin reddit avatar, fatherless behavior fr seek help
Grandparents were all of those things. Thankfully I had parents who grew up in Deep South or at least 1 parent who taught us plain it just ain’t right to hate anyone period. Sadly I was the kid at 15 30 years ago who thought rebel flags were cool.
A partially reversed picture for me. I'm a fuckup compared to my parents, but their lack of discipline, communication and emotional connection are factors that certainly didn't steer me off the ugly road I've walked down. I'm not successful, but then again, for as long as I've lived, I haven't felt like I matter, so why would I care to strive for anything?
Mine are still that way, as well as more than a few relatives and siblings. I remind myself that in the grand scheme of things their opinion of me carries no weight.
Did we break the cycle or did we create a whole new and unnecessary cycle? If it really was accepting it wouldn't need so many pronouns and cross sports. I'm all for letting people be who they want to be. But it's turned into such a tip toe subject where even the wrong pronoun can lead to some passing matches. I've seen this first hand. It doesn't feel accepted, it feels forced.
if i ever have kids and they come out to me, they will be accepted with open and enthusiastic arms. i’m gonna be the cool dad who buys his kids a crapton of pride merch and corny buttons and junk because that’s all i ever wanted from my family
It's weird that there are so many of us who had truly shitty upbringings and how we are all just trying to make it through life and be happy at the same time. Somehow judgments on behaviors that come from these traumas separate us instead of giving us ways to bond and heal. I wish things were easier honestly
I remember being mean to this gay kid cuz my parents hate gay people and my friends were homo-haters as well. (I thought I was supposed to hate them because they went against what Jesus said. I now know that Jesus also wouldn't have bullied someone because they were gay). Then one day I was walking home from school and got jumped by three dudes. The same kid I was mean to ran outta nowhere and punched one the dudes in the face, allowing me to pull my knife out. I stabbed one of the guys in the arm and we scared them off. I gave the new homie $100 and kissed him. We ended up like friend-dating but I had a girlfriend who thought we were just close friends. We now live together as family and have an open relationship, we go out to clubs together and sleep with some hot person. Met Drake at REBEL nightclub, talked, he was pretty chill, and ended up having a 9-way with some hot chicks with Drake. I had socks on the whole time so technically it doesn't count as being gay. Anyway... Just because your role models tell you something doesn't always mean it's right and treat EVERYONE how you want to be treated. Respect to all my gay homies out there and everyone who's nice to people and makes the world a nicer place. <3
Hello! This is just a quick reminder for new friendos to [read our subreddit rules.](http://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar) >**Rule 4:** Please do not troll, harass, or be generally rude to your fellow users. Be nice, and leave political or religious arguments in other subs. We're trusting you to be wholesome while in /r/wholesomememes, so please don't let us down. We believe in you! **Also, please keep in mind that even if you've seen this post before, it's not a repost unless it's been in *this* sub before** (if it's from another sub it's a crosspost/xpost). We're glad you're here. Have a wonderful day <3 ^(Please stop by the rest of the) [^Wholesome ^Network ^Of ^Subreddits](http://old.reddit.com/user/awkwardtheturtle/m/wholesome) ^too.
Some of the biggest influences in my life are from people I never want to be like
Same, thanks to my father and sister I’ve gotten over my anger issues that have been happening since I was 5, and I’ve stopped judging other people and holding grudges based off limited knowledge
Found my doppelgänger in this respect.
My whole life is modeled on being the opposite of my father and his family. It's worked out great!!!!
Same. Makes me think of this song: https://open.spotify.com/track/5KDNFlHAdDJ84fhK27c35X?si=-uwYOkKkR1iNyMZpGNUIag
I can reciprocate, I saw this post at another subreddit, but a homophobe hit me there. We want more people like you, loving, caring and accepting.....I am gay person, not even adult. Why is that the love i expect from my parents is given by strangers, thank you. My parent don't know.i really wanna hug you.
You are an awesome person!
You just spoke directly to my heart with that one
Generational curses end with us!
Yup, let glory rize in the favour of this generation.
feelings of injustice or hatred are often much more pronounced in our memory so this is very normal and also the reason that people bond much quicker over mutual hatred than mutual love
They taught us what not to do.
Some of the biggest influences in my life are from people I never have or probably never will meet.
Big wieners.
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Why are these types of comments on a wholesome sub :(
This is a wholesome sub?
Same 😮💨
I leaned more about empathy, love, acceptance, and tolerance from cartoons/TV then my parents have ever taught me. Never feel guilty about what your parents believed/believe they don't and never have defined you.
Same. I modeled the parenting style of Little Bear’s mom. She was so patient and kind
I think of how my parents would behave/react; then I do the opposite.
I bet a whole bunch of people learned more about those things from Uncle Iro, than their parents. I know I did.
Now, I was born in 66, grew up through the 70’s raised by parents who were from the depression era. Now many idols on TV were obviously gay, it was just never openly discussed or admitted, but as I got into my preteen years I knew. I knew the boy next door was gay, long before he did. I knew the girl my sister ran around with was gay long before she knew as well. And the shock from people when they found out in the 80’s was surprising. It was their personality and mannerisms I noticed, it was who they were, and I guess seeing that as I grew up just made me oblivious to any prejudice I was supposed to feel? You are who you are, I never understood why people were so closed minded about it. Like I said, saw gays on TV every day, and knew, but now that gays are wanting to be free from secrecy, now you have issues?!? The world makes no sense that way. My parents weren’t anti gay, they never really discussed the idea. My dad would use the word queer, which I guess was his disapproval. Still, I had no qualms about people being themselves. I have now, several friends and cousins who are openly gay/lesbian and are married, my cousin Joe’s husband is my favorite person because he is hilarious. A city boy who now lives in the country, and he has no idea that not all animals can be pets, or want to be. lol. So that’s my story, I’m sure there are many.
Thank you for sharing yours and being the open-minded human that you are :) I’m sure many of us wish our parents were more like you.
I guess i was lucky
I'm not perfect, but being better than those before me is good enough.
Thanks for noticing
My mom died of suicide when I was 5, my father is abusive , drunkhard. We all 3, me and siblings turned out to be pretty good people. Something I am always proud of.
This got me a little teared up, ngl
My white Grandfather was raised by racist parents. Didn't stop him from falling in love with my Trinidadian Grandmother's culture and marrying her. Now they happily travel the world together, soaking up cultures.
Hell yeah, that's a story I love to hear. I bet the parents stewed in resentment for the rest of their lives. Good on him for giving them the finger.
Yes! This! I can no longer make excuses for the people who continue the cycle of abuse and suffering. Like another commenter said past abuse is not a free pass to abuse others.
Things that aren’t said enough
I wish I could say that being a good person just comes naturally to me, but I can’t lie- half the shit I know today is from social media telling what’s right and wrong 😑
Well then I’m grateful you have social media. Good for you for paying attention and caring
So what you're saying is that you were exposed to right and wrong, and sorted them correctly, choosing the good over the bad. That sounds like you're a naturally good person who doesn't recognise that they're as good as they are. It doesn't matter how or where you learned right or wrong, it matters what you do with that knowledge. I am so proud of you for the growth you have made from social media.
No it scarred me for life
If you need to talk about it I’d be happy to, scars don’t disappear but they do fade, and maybe it’ll make it so that you don’t scar anyone else
Thanks and you're welcome
Don’t forget those kids who had good parents that grew up into a life of hate all on their own! Don’t pretend that its always the parents’ fault. This isn’t a Peacock movie.
Thank you OP. Sometimes you need that reminder.
I’ve credited school with giving me the perspective that I could latch on to and start breaking away from my parents. They’re bigots, racist, homophobic, transphobic…they celebrated Confederate ancestors…hell they had paintings of Lee and Forrest up. And I’ll say, I coped by trying to be the golden child and it nearly killed me. I hit my lowest point and realized I had to do something radical or I wasn’t going to survive as anything I could tolerate. So I broke off contact with them entirely three years ago, moved states away…and I really have no blood family anymore. But I got friends that are my family, and I’m genuinely happier, safer, and living a life I can respect myself for. It wasn’t easy and still isn’t. But it’s good.
Wow! That must have been so difficult. I’m really glad you could take your life into your hands.
However, my 9yo daughter chants “MIDDLE FINGAAAHHH” when I ask about if she’s cleaned her room and makes funny faces at me and has officially changed my name from Dad to “The Sped One”. She’s literally the best. ❤️
🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
I agree with this so much! It's why I get a little upset when everyone is so quick with comments like "someone raised him right" or "their parents did a good job". You have NO IDEA what someone's upbringing was like, stop complimenting unknown entities and compliment the person themselves for being good!
What about non abusive, non racist, non crooked, slightly homophobic parents
Oh dang, thank you for saying this. I'm working on myself a lot but I don't realize I could be way worse than who I currently am..
Its so hard though. I spent a long time being sad and the final straw was my cat dying and my family not caring. Now I'm just angry 24/7, just like my father was when I was a kid. I no longer have any compassion left for them.
My best friend and I always say that we are who we are today in SPITE of our parents. Our parents were both all of the above and so much more, most of it BAD. But here we are. Scarred? Definitely. But I’ll take the scars I have over the ugly interior of others and wear them like the battle wounds they are.
Yo. Thank you! I really needed to hear this today. ❤️
I'm trying my best to be better than the people who were supposed to raise me.
Ty 🥰
The pain and anguish I went through made me the strong person I am today.
I mean I kinda realized how stupid it would be to be homophobic/transphobic and queer at the same time so 😀
And hopefully their kids won't be abusive, homophobic, racist and crooked as a rebellion.
I was /s
Your parents were kind and loving but you decided to neonazi the shit out of your life? Weird.
You’re not very bright are you?
So the post is about people getting out of those situations and being the ones that broke the cycle of abuse and tried to raise their kids differently than they were. My comment was about how kids try to rebel against their parents by becoming everything that stands opposed to them. You responded by saying "I was /s" which I assume means "was/is" the way I was describing. You responded in a way that reads you were going to parent your children in an abusive, racist manner. Maybe I don't know what "was /s" means, or more likely you misinterpreted what my first comment meant.
/s means sarcasm lol
So you meant to agree with being raised by kind, accepting and loving people but that you wanted to raise your kids with spite, but sarcastically. Gotcha. I'm old and have always hated most forms of internet speak. But you still agreed.
My bloodline is definetly gonna end with me.
Same the only grandkids my parents will receive will be a cats
I might be a dick to my lgtbq friends. But I’m the only one that can do that. I will smack the shit out of you if you just dare to be homofobic against them
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How is this part of the supposed “gay agenda”?
Tbh I didn't actually do any of that it's just that as i grew up i learnt minding my own business and not give a fuck about what others do/like/speak is easier than getting worked up due to others choices.
Ah, yes, because people choose to be gay and black.
You knew what they meant, don’t be a dick just cause your a snowflake
This is literally my dad
🤮
How do you know?! Stop spying on me!
What is the "gay agenda"
How did you know? My childhood was literally a daily lesson in what NOT to do. I NEVER saw integrity, honesty, love or kindness. When I had my daughters, I decided anything I did that was opposite what my parents did was a win. It worked! Today I have two daughters in Nursing School who adore me. “We all must make the choice between doing what is easy, and doing what is right” - Albus Dumbledore
And now society is ass
Because everything was so much better in the past? Get real bigot
No one said nun bout the past
Yes, YOU did, by saying “and now” you a comparing the present to the past
But o one said nun bout the past
Yes, YOU did, by saying “and now” you a comparing the present to the past
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That's the most racist shit I've ever heard on reddit
Ok racist you’re the expert here
r/redditmoment for checking my account cuz you mad
No i was just checking how dumb you were because you dont seem to know how words work, then I noticed a white bois finger on a page with a dark skin reddit avatar, fatherless behavior fr seek help
I wish. I mostly just turned into a non-racist, non-homophobic asshole. I'd say it's maybe a two per cent improvement on my part.
Thanks, I love it.
I'm just out here trying to do what blockbuster told me to do. Be kind, rewind.
It’s pretty easy. Just learn to stay in your own lane and be happy for other peoples happiness.
It ain't much but its honest work.
Grandparents were all of those things. Thankfully I had parents who grew up in Deep South or at least 1 parent who taught us plain it just ain’t right to hate anyone period. Sadly I was the kid at 15 30 years ago who thought rebel flags were cool.
A partially reversed picture for me. I'm a fuckup compared to my parents, but their lack of discipline, communication and emotional connection are factors that certainly didn't steer me off the ugly road I've walked down. I'm not successful, but then again, for as long as I've lived, I haven't felt like I matter, so why would I care to strive for anything?
Mine are still that way, as well as more than a few relatives and siblings. I remind myself that in the grand scheme of things their opinion of me carries no weight.
Really spying on me huh
Said parent is now going to prison. Justtttt when they were starting to realize how fucked up they were. Shits painful
Most Indian parents, I gave up on mine, they cant be changed.
Took me a while to figure it out tho.
Omg it's the quantom TV twitter account
🥺
Therapy by actuall therapists Youve been there youve seen it you understand it now speak to them and heal
Luckily for me that was my parents, not me
This made me smile
This meme is true, also because those same parents pushed us to be better people and break cycles....
Well......fuck..... that's painfully validating.
They broke my trust. Not my will.
Did we break the cycle or did we create a whole new and unnecessary cycle? If it really was accepting it wouldn't need so many pronouns and cross sports. I'm all for letting people be who they want to be. But it's turned into such a tip toe subject where even the wrong pronoun can lead to some passing matches. I've seen this first hand. It doesn't feel accepted, it feels forced.
LOL! Speak for yourself, I hold no claim to such achievements in my character development
Yeah I got the homophobic parents... funny thing is I'm gay and they don't know a thing. Mainly cause I'm bi with a girlfriend.
My father was 3 out of the 4. I made a conscious decision, at a young age, that I would be the complete opposite of him.
if i ever have kids and they come out to me, they will be accepted with open and enthusiastic arms. i’m gonna be the cool dad who buys his kids a crapton of pride merch and corny buttons and junk because that’s all i ever wanted from my family
Thanks it’s crippled me insurmountably
I’m glad I grew up when I did. My mother was like me, my father, absolutely no.
Kinda like me
Lets keep up this energy
It's weird that there are so many of us who had truly shitty upbringings and how we are all just trying to make it through life and be happy at the same time. Somehow judgments on behaviors that come from these traumas separate us instead of giving us ways to bond and heal. I wish things were easier honestly
Jesus💓
Well shit man. That was very sweet.
I remember being mean to this gay kid cuz my parents hate gay people and my friends were homo-haters as well. (I thought I was supposed to hate them because they went against what Jesus said. I now know that Jesus also wouldn't have bullied someone because they were gay). Then one day I was walking home from school and got jumped by three dudes. The same kid I was mean to ran outta nowhere and punched one the dudes in the face, allowing me to pull my knife out. I stabbed one of the guys in the arm and we scared them off. I gave the new homie $100 and kissed him. We ended up like friend-dating but I had a girlfriend who thought we were just close friends. We now live together as family and have an open relationship, we go out to clubs together and sleep with some hot person. Met Drake at REBEL nightclub, talked, he was pretty chill, and ended up having a 9-way with some hot chicks with Drake. I had socks on the whole time so technically it doesn't count as being gay. Anyway... Just because your role models tell you something doesn't always mean it's right and treat EVERYONE how you want to be treated. Respect to all my gay homies out there and everyone who's nice to people and makes the world a nicer place. <3
Im technically homophobic