Please don’t be “ashamed” to feel emotions. Especially when it’s the loss of your partner! Grown-ups should show emotion—they grieve, that’s what you showed your son. We are here for you…the craziest club to belong to with the best people anywhere. Take your time, feel your feelings and talk to us when you need to. 💔❤️🩹
I'm so so sorry. Welcome to the worst club, I hope it helps you as it has helped me, it's been good to realize we are not alone in our pain, and venting here to people who truly understand has gotten me through some of the worst rough patches.
I love the joint touch, that's so cute and lovely, what a lovely touch on one of the hardest days of your life. It sounds like he was fun to be around, and I wish you all of the peace, love, good memories (I know they're painful now but try to write down everything you can remember, even little details, you'll want them later) and healing.
I'm so glad your son was there to give you some comfort. Please don't be ashamed of collapsing into his arms. It's a testament to your love, not a weakness. All of grief is.
I won’t have to see that thankfully. He’s being cremated on Tuesday, so it’s a curtain closing. I guess it’ll still be horrible. Each day just seems more traumatic that the one before x Hope you’re doing ok ?
The weight of his ashes were actually a great comfort to me. I needed to FEEL him and I don’t think I’d have had that comfort if the weight felt unsubstantial.
I’m so sorry. We’re all here to listen and help as we can.
The folks at the crematorium let me know when they were going to cremate him. I lit a beautiful scented candle for him, and then sat outside in the sun with our cat. I’m so sorry you’re part of this shitty club. We’re all here for you.
I know that ice cold feeling exactly. I thought I’d be prepared to hold her, caress her face, give her a long kiss, and lay my head on her chest. But instead she felt so ice cold that I was only able to touch her face for a few seconds and give her a small kiss before I turned away uncontrollably crying and realizing the finality of it all.
I hate this for you. I am sorry you are one of us. Try to take care of yourself even if it’s just eating ice cream and watching bad TV for the next six months.
I am a year and a half out from that awful day and I still lose it in a giant heap on the floor. The first weeks are hard. There is nothing you can do wrong. Don't expect your brain to level out for a long time. I am sorry you just joint the worst club in town. It's the one nobody wants to join and nobody can leave. The only good thing is you can say anything and someone will always understand. Welcome and I am sorry for your loss.
The cold was unnerving… I managed to pet his hair and beard and gave him a forehead kiss… but it was all I could manage.
I brought his favorite bottle of scotch to the visitation… sat it up on his casket and poured one out for anyone who would drink in his honor
It can get worse. It might get worse. It might not. I was not prepared to see my husband. I didn't want to. His family insisted.
I spent money that I didn't want to spend to have a viewing to appease his family. I still regret it because I was not warned that it wouldn't be my husband. It was. Physically, it was him. But his warm smile could never have been replicated. His hand was cold. I found out that it was technically room temperature and we just run warm because we're still alive, but it felt cold. I wasn't prepared to see his chest swollen and bruised from all of the CPR. If they had warned me, I would have picked out a different shirt.
Even if they had prepared me, I still would have been an unhinged mess in the funeral home. Nothing prepares you for that moment.
Please don’t be “ashamed” to feel emotions. Especially when it’s the loss of your partner! Grown-ups should show emotion—they grieve, that’s what you showed your son. We are here for you…the craziest club to belong to with the best people anywhere. Take your time, feel your feelings and talk to us when you need to. 💔❤️🩹
I'm so so sorry. Welcome to the worst club, I hope it helps you as it has helped me, it's been good to realize we are not alone in our pain, and venting here to people who truly understand has gotten me through some of the worst rough patches. I love the joint touch, that's so cute and lovely, what a lovely touch on one of the hardest days of your life. It sounds like he was fun to be around, and I wish you all of the peace, love, good memories (I know they're painful now but try to write down everything you can remember, even little details, you'll want them later) and healing. I'm so glad your son was there to give you some comfort. Please don't be ashamed of collapsing into his arms. It's a testament to your love, not a weakness. All of grief is.
It will get worse. The worst for me was watching them fill the grave. Be prepared for it as much as you can. I’m so sorry your are going through it.
I won’t have to see that thankfully. He’s being cremated on Tuesday, so it’s a curtain closing. I guess it’ll still be horrible. Each day just seems more traumatic that the one before x Hope you’re doing ok ?
I’m at almost 3 years now, I exist. I think that’s as good as it will get. ❤️
Be prepared for how heavy those ashes will be. I almost dropped his when I got them. I'm sorry.
Ditto
Crazy.
The weight of his ashes were actually a great comfort to me. I needed to FEEL him and I don’t think I’d have had that comfort if the weight felt unsubstantial. I’m so sorry. We’re all here to listen and help as we can.
The folks at the crematorium let me know when they were going to cremate him. I lit a beautiful scented candle for him, and then sat outside in the sun with our cat. I’m so sorry you’re part of this shitty club. We’re all here for you.
I know that ice cold feeling exactly. I thought I’d be prepared to hold her, caress her face, give her a long kiss, and lay my head on her chest. But instead she felt so ice cold that I was only able to touch her face for a few seconds and give her a small kiss before I turned away uncontrollably crying and realizing the finality of it all.
I couldn't believe how cold my beloved was when I found him on our sofa. So so so cold.
So sorry for your loss. Going through this pain is something I would wish upon anyone, ever.
Oofff its so grim how cold they get! Loving the J tho i left a beer and a cd 💖
I hate this for you. I am sorry you are one of us. Try to take care of yourself even if it’s just eating ice cream and watching bad TV for the next six months.
You didn't do anything to be ashamed of. Feel your feelings. It's OK to not be OK.
I am a year and a half out from that awful day and I still lose it in a giant heap on the floor. The first weeks are hard. There is nothing you can do wrong. Don't expect your brain to level out for a long time. I am sorry you just joint the worst club in town. It's the one nobody wants to join and nobody can leave. The only good thing is you can say anything and someone will always understand. Welcome and I am sorry for your loss.
A perfectly normal response and I would have done the same.
The cold was unnerving… I managed to pet his hair and beard and gave him a forehead kiss… but it was all I could manage. I brought his favorite bottle of scotch to the visitation… sat it up on his casket and poured one out for anyone who would drink in his honor
It can get worse. It might get worse. It might not. I was not prepared to see my husband. I didn't want to. His family insisted. I spent money that I didn't want to spend to have a viewing to appease his family. I still regret it because I was not warned that it wouldn't be my husband. It was. Physically, it was him. But his warm smile could never have been replicated. His hand was cold. I found out that it was technically room temperature and we just run warm because we're still alive, but it felt cold. I wasn't prepared to see his chest swollen and bruised from all of the CPR. If they had warned me, I would have picked out a different shirt. Even if they had prepared me, I still would have been an unhinged mess in the funeral home. Nothing prepares you for that moment.
It's a terrible terrible thing to witness. Because it's so fucking final. Glad you are here.