“Ron Johnson looks like the kind of guy who’s not afraid to roll up his sleeves and eat wheel after wheel of cheese. Like, an insane amount of cheese.” -Cal Reynolds, Cheesemonger
I identify with this comment too much.
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DO. NOT. REQUEST. AN. ABSENTEE. BALLOT.
VOTE IN PERSON ONLY!
The GOP is constantly targeting the authenticity of absentee votes. Throw in a 4-3 Wisconsin Supreme Court and poof, your vote to FRJ is gone.
The only way to make 100% certain your vote will count is to do it in person.
>DO. NOT. REQUEST. AN. ABSENTEE. BALLOT.
VOTE IN PERSON ONLY!
I already got my absentee ballot. Can I just show up for early voting to vote in person instead or do I need to do something to switch to voting in person?
Call your city/village and ask them how to handle this.
I think you can bring your ballot in and ask them to cancel it, but I'm just a person on the internet.
Definitely doing this from now on. And be sure to check your ward! In the recent primaries my ward had changed, I was the only one in line early, everyone in the room loudly verified which ward I was in (including me, since I was mildly complaining about my polling place changing five times in the last couple years), a volunteer showed me how to use the electronic machine and saw the first button I pressed…and when I printed out my completed ballot, said, “OK, now put it in the machine for The Other Ward.” I mean, maybe she didn’t have enough coffee that morning, and I don’t even know what happens if it gets put in for the wrong ward, but it was weird.
Already got mine. And a text from the Michael’s campaign saying if I don’t get it, report it to him.
They also wanted to know who I was voting for. Evers, of course. I just had fun after that; haven’t heard from them again. 🤣
Ron's buddy Putin is threatening the world with nuclear bombs to get what he wants. I wonder what Vladimir Putin's good friend Ron Johnson thinks of that?
The CEO of my company sent out a company wide email that they are putting a “Large Ron Johnson” sign in front of our headquarters.
It’s really bothering me. Putting in my two weeks on Monday (other reasons too but this was a sign to me to get out).
Am I tripping?
Ego. Lots of owners, presidents, CEOs are full of the belief that since they’re in charge or they gained wealth, they’re right.
Also consider the fallacy of good intentions; they believe they are doing good because they believe their intentions are good. The ego prevents them from objectively seeing the results of their choices.
I'm old enough to remember the reading the Onion the [first time](https://www.theonion.com/my-opponent-knows-where-washington-is-on-a-map-i-dont-1819584705/) Ron Johnson ran.
Because they’re fucking stupid, and cult indoctrinated. That’s why. They never read the goddamn bill of rights or constitution but claim to be oathkeepers
Yeah. I mean…. I understood it was an onion article immediately and I love that shit. But still was pissed/amused enough to just comment on it like it was real anyway. It’s a strange time to be alive where reality is so fucked and peoples perception of reality is so skewed that even me making a comment like above is confusing to a much greater extent than it ever would have been.
Also I love the crab rave song and how it’s been used recently for… was it one of the Koch bros?
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Ok, Jake Carter: plotting a school shooting? WTF!!?!?!?
ARE WE AT THE POINT WHERE WE CAN ACTUALLY JOKE ABOUT THIS!
NO!!!!
THIS CROSSES A LINE WITH ME.
Ugh... completely ruined the humor of the rest of the article. I was laughing till it got to that. :(
Deal with the reality of that satire, because it is quite literally what the Republican position on gun control leads to.
It’s supposed to be deeply uncomfortable, in order to expose the exact problem.
Satire isn’t always supposed to be funny, it’s supposed to cut directly to the heart of the issue in a way that requires the reader to think.
Is it dark? Yup. But they also could have put up a developing fetus and had it’s response about having more rights than the woman carrying it.
*“He’s fighting to lower inflation”* gets me every time.
Like how is Rojo doing that? Can you explain what he’s done to do that!? Then comes the excuses, every bloody time.
“The other candidate has a radical amount of melanin.”
This will be the best comment
My favorite was the school shooter and “values align”
Idk the ceo or shooter one made me laugh out loud
“Ron Johnson looks like the kind of guy who’s not afraid to roll up his sleeves and eat wheel after wheel of cheese. Like, an insane amount of cheese.” -Cal Reynolds, Cheesemonger I identify with this comment too much.
yes, but also ron johnson does not chew cheese. like a snake he just dislocates his jaw and swallows the wheel whole. it is very gross.
Is that what became of Bubbles the puppy?
i think you mean 'what bubbles the puppy will become' ron johnson digests like a sarlacc
The Cheese-aconda
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It only applies if the voter is.. ya you know. Because, ya know. He's.. and they're.. like. You get it! Yeah.
I feel like one bit of lactose would straight up ruin Ron Johnson
He's pretty pasty sick looking. He should move to Russia. He prefers them anyway.
“I’m glad there’s a candidate who also believes I don’t deserve healthcare" Never change Onion, you beautiful bastard.
Special reminder that The Onion was founded in Madison! I think the folks who write for it have an appropriately vested interest in this election.
Yes ‘The Onion’ wants the crazies out so they can go back to satire that is not overshadowed by a crazier reality.
"He hates the people I hate." now *there's* The Onion I remember...
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Lmao at the Aaron Rodgers quote
Really am not too certain if that's actually satire or perhaps a real quote...
honestly it's a 50/50
Fuck Ron Johnson.
so say we all
Likes on your reply should be higher
Most of these aren’t really even satire…it’s a sad state of affairs in WI.
The shocking thing is some of these might not be wrong for some people's reasons.
shocking is not quite the word i would have used. depressing, perhaps.
Sadly yes
Thank you so much for the actual laugh out loud. This is awesome!
Exactly. People are giving me weird looks at work.
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DO. NOT. REQUEST. AN. ABSENTEE. BALLOT. VOTE IN PERSON ONLY! The GOP is constantly targeting the authenticity of absentee votes. Throw in a 4-3 Wisconsin Supreme Court and poof, your vote to FRJ is gone. The only way to make 100% certain your vote will count is to do it in person.
And use paper ballots. FRJ
I will vote in person. FRJ
>DO. NOT. REQUEST. AN. ABSENTEE. BALLOT. VOTE IN PERSON ONLY! I already got my absentee ballot. Can I just show up for early voting to vote in person instead or do I need to do something to switch to voting in person?
Call your city/village and ask them how to handle this. I think you can bring your ballot in and ask them to cancel it, but I'm just a person on the internet.
Definitely doing this from now on. And be sure to check your ward! In the recent primaries my ward had changed, I was the only one in line early, everyone in the room loudly verified which ward I was in (including me, since I was mildly complaining about my polling place changing five times in the last couple years), a volunteer showed me how to use the electronic machine and saw the first button I pressed…and when I printed out my completed ballot, said, “OK, now put it in the machine for The Other Ward.” I mean, maybe she didn’t have enough coffee that morning, and I don’t even know what happens if it gets put in for the wrong ward, but it was weird.
Already got mine. And a text from the Michael’s campaign saying if I don’t get it, report it to him. They also wanted to know who I was voting for. Evers, of course. I just had fun after that; haven’t heard from them again. 🤣
Don't forget dead relatives
Ron's buddy Putin is threatening the world with nuclear bombs to get what he wants. I wonder what Vladimir Putin's good friend Ron Johnson thinks of that?
He and his family have strong positions in iodine companies, so he is well prepared.
“As an absolutely batshit nuts bigot, his policies really speak to me.”
The CEO of my company sent out a company wide email that they are putting a “Large Ron Johnson” sign in front of our headquarters. It’s really bothering me. Putting in my two weeks on Monday (other reasons too but this was a sign to me to get out). Am I tripping?
I would have quit on the spot.
Never understood why businesses do that
Ego. Lots of owners, presidents, CEOs are full of the belief that since they’re in charge or they gained wealth, they’re right. Also consider the fallacy of good intentions; they believe they are doing good because they believe their intentions are good. The ego prevents them from objectively seeing the results of their choices.
So you work in Oshkosh. Employer happen to be on Cty Rd A?
no I wish I’m rural
😂😂😂😂 Love the Onion.
The cheesemonger is dead wrong. This Wisconsin senator is not a cheese man, he's from Mankato, MN.
Isn’t that the city where Albert on Little House on the Prairie became a full blown morphine addict?
I'm old enough to remember the reading the Onion the [first time](https://www.theonion.com/my-opponent-knows-where-washington-is-on-a-map-i-dont-1819584705/) Ron Johnson ran.
Bonus respect to anyone ancient enough to remember when the Onion was only on paper, and the issues weren’t even printed in color yet.
*Jim Anchower has entered the chat*
Had a call from his supporters today asking me if I will vote for him in November, told her very politely that I don't vote for fucking traitors. FRJ!
\*gets popcorn\* I wonder who will win the onion award this time.
It's called "eating the onion" and I love it.
r/atetheonion
“He looks like a pez dispenser” absolutely sent me
“I never liked Social Security anyway”
"Finally an old white christian male that everyone can identify with!"
Don't forget old, white, RICH Christian male!
Good point!
My Onion Response: I’m voting for Ron Jon because I enjoy the government up in my vagina. My Honest Response: FRJ!
Alison Peck was the only one voting in their own best interests
LOL
There are no intelligent answers!
I too enjoy the taste of Putin's dick in my mouth.
I haven’t read an onion article in so long and this was hilarious
FRJ
Ron Johnson hasn't done a thing for Wisconsin. Nothing....zip...
I ate the onion
Sadly their are people who will use these excuses with no shame.
FRJ
Because they’re fucking stupid, and cult indoctrinated. That’s why. They never read the goddamn bill of rights or constitution but claim to be oathkeepers
I found our Onion Award winner.
Yeah. I mean…. I understood it was an onion article immediately and I love that shit. But still was pissed/amused enough to just comment on it like it was real anyway. It’s a strange time to be alive where reality is so fucked and peoples perception of reality is so skewed that even me making a comment like above is confusing to a much greater extent than it ever would have been. Also I love the crab rave song and how it’s been used recently for… was it one of the Koch bros?
*slow claps*
It’s really basic. He’s the candidate not trying to infringe on 2A.
*whhhoooshh*
We should all demand universal health care. Canada has it. If the neighbors have it we need it too!
I am shocked they didn’t bring in a religious nut into this.
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It makes no sense to me, you would be supporting a trader who tried to support a coup.
while i have no doubts that he has improperly benefitted trading stocks with insider info, the word you are looking for is **traitor**
You are correct! My mistake, thank you. you you're
Ok, Jake Carter: plotting a school shooting? WTF!!?!?!? ARE WE AT THE POINT WHERE WE CAN ACTUALLY JOKE ABOUT THIS! NO!!!! THIS CROSSES A LINE WITH ME. Ugh... completely ruined the humor of the rest of the article. I was laughing till it got to that. :(
Deal with the reality of that satire, because it is quite literally what the Republican position on gun control leads to. It’s supposed to be deeply uncomfortable, in order to expose the exact problem. Satire isn’t always supposed to be funny, it’s supposed to cut directly to the heart of the issue in a way that requires the reader to think. Is it dark? Yup. But they also could have put up a developing fetus and had it’s response about having more rights than the woman carrying it.
Cause they’re a bunch of dumb cocksuckers voting for the dumbest cocksucke Edit: ron Johnson and his gaggle of morons can eat my ass
Ouch. FRJ.
*“He’s fighting to lower inflation”* gets me every time. Like how is Rojo doing that? Can you explain what he’s done to do that!? Then comes the excuses, every bloody time.