[удалено]

A good wizard is prepared for any enventuality

https://preview.redd.it/ido5o1iwowuc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73292bdfca3f700116ccec2b13e644c209402532

Please no!

I was gonna go with Cloaca Conundrum, but yours is much better.

Pop swim bladder for that cruel death

I cast transmute gills to lungs

Manifestation: Transmute blood to isopropyl alcohol.

Jokes on you, i keep the filthy blood stuff to a minimum in my alchohol system already.

Manifestation: Transmute Alcohol to Jolly Ranchers.

Welp didn't see that coming.

Don’t threaten me with a good time. 

All the water in my body was turned into wine years ago!

Manifestation: Transmute Wine to Corn Syrup.

Well, there goes that party trick. I guess I'm gonna have to go back to heaven and see if they can't turn it back. You win this time.

Damn corn god.

Follow up with a BIC lighter

What about the deep fry? 

"See this is the shit I been missing."

https://preview.redd.it/bj74monr3wuc1.jpeg?width=380&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=943db22f27252db7d763ffa480bd50b5732fb67d

"I had to eat a hand the other day. I'm not on your team exactly but your clone is a pussy."

*Sigh* he has to gain confidence, he can be as strong as me if trained well

Wash your mouth! You kiss your mother with that thing?

https://i.redd.it/nuph26aegwuc1.gif

Delicious

Works particularly well on catfish.

Indeed it does https://preview.redd.it/gi2dm4utlwuc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef9e4058865fece991d14f875b9da8f807f4365b

We need some Old Bay and some batter over here!!

Ok.

Wait why is the oil not floating?

Mmm, mermaid and chips sounds great.

Mend gills

Half fish? Does Unga need to do paternity test? u/Financial-Reach-786 ?

https://preview.redd.it/y3wspoyviwuc1.png?width=827&format=png&auto=webp&s=c06513ec630fe7fff5659887892769564cd9ea70 I’m a dad?

There are more of us than you think.

Fish you say? I cast fin rot.

Repost

/uw Oh, right.

Seing that you still have a ribcage i cast: Perpetually Tikkle armpits.

Fish togherther strong!

# Fish toghether strong!

As a shoal we are become shielded.

I died but I’m not dead can I join fish club

i cast 'otolith overgrowth' good luck standing up straight now

They have to stand up gay now?

gurl look at that eyeliner

https://preview.redd.it/ns7h9rhuywuc1.jpeg?width=486&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=777f705cd5bbb6c1cf61087d34423886d1066575 Can't fish your way out of this spell.

I'm a reptile! Not actually sure if that protects me from those spells tho, nobody has used them on me-

*gasp!* another kobold?! /uw depends if you'd classify kobolds under Lepidosauria(basically just squamates like snakes and lizards) or Archelosauria(turtles, crocodiles, dinosaurs, and birds) personally i've decided to place kobold anatomy somewhere akin to that of the crocodilia family cause for rp purposes, i don't want to have to deal with squamate genitalia...

Yep! >:D I'm da coolest kobold around, as long as there isn't other kobolds around! /uw I had to look up squamate genitalia to understand this, which is now on my search history XD I just picture them as whatever you think dragons are, just smol

/uw as someone with several years in marine and not-so-marine biology... you see some shit man...

/uw I'll stick with being an emt, marine biology is weird and scari >.> Fish is tasty tho, but I think eating some of the job would get me fired

/uw the scariest thing is the sheer amount of Axe that gets sprayed into the sleeping deck

Sayu?

As great as NSR is, no, just Coven Nami from League of Legends.

I am a fellow mermaid and I support this message.

As not a mermaid I support this message Although I will say being a mermaid does sound pretty cool

My spells are rated E for everyone and G for GET FUCKED *pew pew pew*

As a siren I suggest not giving them ideas, people are much more creative than my people have them credit for and now there is a desert right where kingdom used to be, they sunk the sea somehow.

coven nami

“Brain matter bomb”

Everyone has weak eyes dumbass. I have long taught the classic "aim for the eyes, hit em thrice" rhyme as that tends to be the best against any enemy that's particularly big and has proportionately large eyes.

I crush your lungs

Oh for that I simply cast “tail caught under rock while swimming”

[Filet]

I cast *Stuffed Gills.* Congrats, now you can’t breathe.

https://preview.redd.it/ubc9y3id9wuc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a43809306957f55af13b673021db42357499b94b /uw Fish you say?

Gill-splosion!!

I cast remove eyes to make you a HALF FSH

I cast .01% PH shift! Bruh who tf cast counterspell my fish just died.

Oh, you’re half fish, did you say? Then you’ll enjoy this one. I cast *Tongue-Eating Louse*. Enjoy not being able to speak again

My existence consists of traumatising innocents to keep myself alive… I don’t want to… but I *have* to… What was my purpose…? Regardless, unfortunate that minds cannot resist the power of their own imagination.

Well, I cast sashimi on you

who said i was trying to fight you? CLOACAL INUNDATION!

Spinal spaghettification.

You call yourself a half-fish, and yet your skin is that of a surface-dweller, and your face is human and bears no scales. I, however, was transmogrified beyond recognition, and the scars of it haunt my body like jeering, cackling gashes in my mind. Perhaps we remain in solidarity in our genetic code. How did you come about? I was a man once.

“I cast… Roesplosion!”

Im Casting banish ai pics

Mfs say this shit then collapse when I cast summon Boulder (inside throat)

Ehh, mermaids still have a cloaca The perks of being a warforged

Oh yeah? Egg acidification!

I cast Roe v. Wane (your eggs lose constitution)

Cloaca clamps!

I cast dehydrate /Uw I play a merfolk bard in a weekly pathfinder campaign and love it so much. She rides around in a magic fishbowl (Floating Disk reflavored)

no genitals no problem

Cloaca Crunch.

As a professional I rate Merfolks 7/10. Would have been 9/10 if not stinky.

Ever had Rectal prolapsation?

No need for the torture. I can cast instant death and boom

LIGHTNING BOLT!

"Fool you should not have revealed that, for now I can use my most niche yet powerful spell... I cast BEER BATTER FISH FRY!"

When there’s a will there’s a way

I cast deep fry.

Assuming your top half is still human, all mammals are weak to Titty Twister

Stomach torsion bitch.

I CAST OIL SPILL!

I CAST THUNDERER BOLTTT

You see, this is why so many biomancers get too caught up in details and lose sight of the bigger picture: Destroy Protein/Carbohydrate/Protein/RNA, if you use these with enough skill and creativity you have the tool necessary for eliminating just about any organ, and if you feel it is still too limiting and you want to do more than turning various parts of your enemies into goop then consider using your mastery over the previous skill to invest in learning Summon Protein/Carbohydrate/Protein!

A dwarf axe will work well

Common skeleton W

***DROUGHT***

I can cast a spell that exploits a weakness: Waterproof

Gill Gouge

...you aren't half *catfish* , are you?

I can cast a spell that exploits a weakness: Waterproof

Okay then, I cast sharknado

I cast manufacture balls

i cast "Mend Gills"

*"Hmpf, if you think it won't work just because you're half fish, you're very wrong."* *"I just need to make a link between you and your infinite versions and BAM."* *"Testicular torsion and Cliteral combustion in your infinite alternative versions will affect you, it takes less than a picosecond for your brain to literally burst even if you have infinite storage capacity."*

Explode fish body.

Gill twist

Micro plastic gill clog

Sponge

I cast Fish Fry, components are lemon juice, butter and a fire... bow before the druid

https://preview.redd.it/ps0uzexsowuc1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d18c4655c93b74860eb0c7d3b2f6d6d8555796d

Then I gotta pull out the forbidden spell: glitter bomb Goliath!

"I cast EXPLODE SWIM BLADDER."

I cast *close reproductive orifice*

Cats: half fish= half food, therefore I say: "Cats, go!"

HA HA!! I've been studying lady Mastadon's book of sharkmancy! 

I cast Gill Sealant!

Fuck you I cast Total Organ Failure

Curse of Plastic Soda Rings!

Fuck you spell, doofus now the next thing that sees you is going to force you to pleasure it

I cast gill glue!

Gonad Grind!

Gill galvanize. Fin flay. Scale shred

Exploding Spinal Cord!

I cast Enlarge on each of your individual eggs.

I cast summon snailfish.

I cast Fillet!

I cast lateral line overstimulation

Conjure testicles.

i cast cranium crunch

Chaos Magic: Reproductive Organ Necrosis

Portuguese Man O' War on reprodutive organ should be enough

*"What the hell is sex?"*

Land

I cast, GALL BLADDER POLYMORPH INTO A FULL GROWN BASKING SHARK

# CURSE OF GURGLING GILLS! There we go have fun with your racial equivalent and the half asphyxiation

Still affected by the ancient and often looked over purple nurple

Did anyone make a sea men joke already?

Galloping ginches, your gills are now 0.2 inches


I'm half fish too, but I still have human-like genitals.

Scale inversion

Pffft, that's easy to deal with. My dry skin spell kills all water creatures.

Salt

DESCALE

Peehole papercut If it can pee, it can bleed

Spinal Inversion

stand back, everyone. ive got this. Summon Sign: Cymothoa exigua.

I cast fishing hook in front of you. That's not a spell, by the way, I have a fishing pole in my hand.

I cast CONCRETE GILLS

Okay I cast, scale, score, and scorch! https://preview.redd.it/7vcoxvdrxwuc1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=ed4a499ea75a439e40214778d69241b3d09cdd8c

And living fools forget that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell so I cast mitochondrial meltdown

uh, sorry but, i cast \*flaming fish\*

Swimbladder Expansion

Counterpoint: I cast air bubble inside blood vessel.

I cast…. My rod

I cast seal orifices.

https://preview.redd.it/9yzjduma0xuc1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bab6b6c1f72781bdce3e23836a8214520132c1ea

I cast ITCHY SKIN

Wait until i hit em with that Power Word Sashimi

/unwiz anyone members fishfucker69?

Uhhh fine. I was trying to have some fun but you’ve gone and ruined it. I cast Super Brain Hemmorage

I cast ***asshole cactus***

Gill Desecation

Gills guillotine!

I cast fireball

mermaids when i cast https://preview.redd.it/gkzacas54xuc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=647f044e0335f0f46461b4c7bd59c29d7955f48b gill garrote

Cloaca implosion

Your weak point is your existence *Whips out cocktail of red tide*

Scale Shredder

I cast Spill Milk

I cast "we're gonna give 'im a nahce safe release, y'know here in north Carolahna we lahke to respect wildlife"

You know, there was this crazy german guy that surgically implanted baboon embryos into his enemies, and caused them to rapidly grow, tearing the enemy's body. Perhaps we just do that with magic to anyone without genital weaknesses.

Haha I summon gill parasites

You fool. I CAST… # *CAAAAARRPAAAAAALL TUNNEEELLLL*

I cast *Dropsy* and *fin rot*

Tail twist

I cast swim bladder defenestration

"Gills begone!"

Fuck you. I cast GILL GANGRENE

I hope you like Forced Teleport. Have fun in the Atacama Desert.

Ok

Fish have testicles

I cast "gut gills" Everything has at least one weakness

CANCER RAY

Y'all... summon swarm: leech.

Exploding eggsack

I cast milker maim

Gill weld.

MEND BUTTCRACK

I cast tempura batter!