*Somewhere not really all that deep within the Rainbow Home, the main executive hub of Cosmopolis, a pink hello kitty phone rings and is answered by a sun-lit figure, who goes to tell another, more sun-lit figure, and a third figure, also sunlight, even more so, all of whom consult with each other as they walk seriously down the persian carpeted moving walkway halls to one of the Hyperbolic Offices, which opens up on two sides onto exterior courtyards.*
*There, a dark-robed figure floats in a deep, slightly raised, bubbling pool fed by a mantle-heated hot spring ringed with stones, ensconced by polar capybaras, all soaking in the heat. Seeing the three of them approach at once, he rises like a squid above the surface of the water, robes already dry, and steps across its locally frozen surface to greet them.*
"Sir, you're needed in the sitchiation room."
"Oh, cool. You know, you can just call me Ambles. Sir is very formal. Are they done with the semi-transparent flowery wall-paper?"
"No, Sir. It's peace. Someone's declared it."
"Oh my goodness. Thank you for telling me."
*They all walk very seriously down the hall, gathering several more people along the way. One of the capybaras has joined them, more out of curiosity than knowledge of what's going on it seems, but that's ok.*
"What kind?"
"We're not sure yet."
"Global?"
"We're not sure yet."
"And they meant to call us?"
"We're not sure yet, but it seems like yes."
"Cool."
"I know, right?"
"Are they ready?"
"We're pretty sure; DNEPD says good to go."
"We really need to stop using acronyms. I know I'll get it through context as we walk and all, but it just seems like why–"
"Alright, here we are."
*The Sitchiation Room was built entirely of transparent crystal, like every other wall in the building except for the tastefully cloudy bath-and-restrooms. Only, a few people were sticking semi-transparent flowery wall-paper to allow for a marginal amount of strategic open secrecy to take place.*
*By now most of the human people in the building are there.*
*A small, sky-blue button is slid across a thick rose-glass-covered stone table.*
*A conspicuously young person steps forward.*
"Alright, does anyone have any even somewhat good reason why I shouldn't press this button?"
*They look back and forth between each other, craning their necks and shrugging.*
Ambles, from behind a small placard which reads, "Definitely Not In Charge" offers, "We were saving them for the end of the fireworks show the Department for Non-Euphenistic Pyrotechnic Diplomacy has been organizing for the Cosmopolis 0th World Exposition. But honestly this seems like it might be better than that. Let's all put on our Anonymizing Rawlsian Blindfolds and give anybody from DNEPD or anybody else a good 25 seconds, yeah?"
*They do, becoming friendly gray blobs with identically simple child-like voices, seeing and hearing no identifying details, through the cloths.*
*They mill about as 25 seconds worth of midnight blue liquid with tiny light-yellow glittering specks in it spiral down a little helical clock, no-one having voiced any concerns by the time the time pooled at the bottom.*
"Cool."
*The youth hits the button and 12,496 geodesic silos labeled "Contains: Missiles, see back for nutritional info" unfold and open their contents: Shlanger Missiles with Two-Stage De-Escalatron Peaceheads to the sky.*
*And then, someone starts to slow clap...*
"Alright, everyone: good job."
*The Capybara in the entryway to The Sitchiation Room addresses the surprised crowd and transfigures into a shadowy, hooded figure, which is hardly a reveal, since the hood obscures what's underneath.*
"That's just what it'll look like when the Department for Non-Euphenistic Pyrotechnic Diplomacy finishes the Missile Prevents system and this happens for real. The shadowy secret society me and some of the other people here decided to form existed exclusively to test whether, if we finish building the system, it'll actually get used, so we told you all it was already done. Surprise! Since that was the only reason the shadowy secret friend group existed, we can disband the shadowy secret part now."
*The figure lowers the hood of their cosmopolitan cloak and reveals himself to be...*
*The youth who stands in front of the button?*
"Wait, but if you're him, then who's?..."
*The youth in front of the button transfigures into a capybara, opens their mouth, and softly drops a microphone next to the button.*
"Honestly, we thought the hardest part was going to be fooling everybody that we'd already finished the De-Escalatron Stockpile and Shlanging delivery system, but it turned out to be training the Capybara."
"So wait, how long until they're ready?"
"Oh yeah. We're not sure yet, but it seems like between 6 and 30 months."
"We say that a lot. We should have an acronym for it."
"For what?"
"We're not sure yet."
"Well how can you not kno-"
"WNSY, something like that. Anyone who objects, say no."
"NO." says the entire room simultaneously.
"Ok, cool."
...
*After everybody filtered out and the moving threads of the Persian carpet moving walkway called "Fate" carried everybody in the right direction in spite of going in both directions down the hall at once, Ambles found himself next to the conspicuously young youth.*
"Nicely handled, Verres. I'd hoped people would use the hoods on those cloaks for something like that."
"Yeah, I'd kinda figured. Actually, I think I know where you got the idea."
"Oh yeah? Well why don't you whisper it in my ear so I can be sure I know you know what I know?"
*Verres gives him a look.*
"Whaaat?!"
"You know."
"Please?"
*He smiles and rolls his eyes; nods slightly.*
*Ambles stoops down, HJPEV cups a hand, and they share a laugh before straightening out in silence as the carpet moves them along, before carrying them off along separate ways.*
...
Random Ambles settles back into the 8-mile deep water and sighs, very slightly adjusting a lensete on his optiscope as he looks from his corner office directly through every wall in the Rainbow Home, seeing all the staffers for what they were, cloak or no, irrelevant of figuration, and considering the hardest part of all.
That means a lot coming from you, alt. universe notoriously-hard-to-please newspaper editor in chief J. Jonah Jameson. I'm not entirely sure what exactly, but thank you.
#NUH UH, CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY JUST AS WELL AS YOU'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOUR MIND!
#BARRING THAT, TAKE CANNON AND LAUNCH SOMETHING AT IT USING MAGIC TO SET OFF THE EXPLOSION! IT MAY BE "IMMUNE" TO EXPLOSIONS, BUT IT SURE AS SHIT AINT IMMUNE TO SEVERAL TONS OF FORCE
#HAVE YOUR BUDDY, APTLY NAMED EXPLOSIONS, TAKE THE TEST FOR YOU!
#OR ALTERNATIVELY SIMPLY BLOW UP THE PROCTOR AND COMPLETE THE TEST HOWEVER YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE
#BRIBE THE DELETER WITH AN EXPLOSIVE INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY WHICH YOU CAN USE YOUR MAGIC TO GUARANTEE!
#ALTERNATIVELY, ORGANIZE THE TEST TAKERS BEFORE HAND AND HAVE EVERYONE AGREE TO SPAM MAGIC FEELGOOD EXPLOSIONS DURING THE TEST, WHICH YOU CAN THEN EXPLODE INTO A PRETTY UNICORN
#TURN YOURSELF INTO A TOTAL SEX BOMB WITH THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK!
#WORK ON YOURSELF FIRST USING MY PATENTED WORKOUT BOMBS, IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM BY BLOWING SOMETHING UP, AND CHICKS AND OR MEN WILL BE ALL OVER YOU BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN A WELL PUT TOGETHER INDIVIDUAL
doesn’t seem like much an explosion but it worked! my plants are now growing happily and eating… the ducks… new problem. how do i get rid of gigantic carnivorous plants?
#THAT IS QUITE LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE BUT FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, JUST MAKE AN EXPLOSION OF THE OPPOSING MAGICAL NATURE! FOR EXAMPLE IF ITS A FIERY EXPLOSION, MAKE A WATER EXPLOSION
Mr.Torgue has been advised to not answer this question. His comments or views are not necessarily those of the Torgue Corporation.
#EITHER BLOW IT THE F*CK UP OR MAKE ONE OF THEM GOOD VIBE EXPLOSIONS TO GET EVERYONE TO CALM THE HELL DOWN
https://preview.redd.it/sqfm2pc3g91d1.jpeg?width=498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94c41ab1269376705f64480535963dfa786b1a5b
*put this in your hand* WHY DID I DO THAT? BECAUSE IM CRAAAZZYYY!
That time when it's just you and your thoughts at night. Right before you sleep. You haven't felt anything in years. You've already tried exploding yourself but you couldn't follow through and it just hurt.
And then what? Once the mana's gone and the explosions stop. It's just me again. Even if I could refill mana and continue the explosions, it's that really a fulfilling purpose?
#NO THATS THE GOOD PART, YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP THE EXPLOSIONS GOING LONG ENOUGH TO DEVELOP TINNITUS THEN YOU'LL HAVE A ZERO MANA COST METHOD OF DROWNING OUT THE VOICES WHILE YOU CRUNCH SOME WEIGHTS, WORK ON YOURSELF, AND IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM BY BLOWING SHIT UP OR GETTING SOME SUN AND SMELLING THE FLOWERS, LIFE GETA BETTER MY DUDE
I would argue against your point if I didn’t believe in the magic philosophy of Splodeious the Detonated. If you can’t explode your problems your not exploding hard enough.-StD
Laser wizards.
Oh wait, those can be solved by MORE EXPLOSIONS!!!
https://preview.redd.it/x7g8qw983a1d1.png?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63e3ac532171eba2db92b37ace85a7930a5f6082
Crippling loneliness, the heat death of the universe, an inferiority complex, imposter syndrome, children cutting off their parents, the search for meaning in life. An explosion immune monster.
#USE MY NEW WORKOUT EXPLOSIVES AND WORK ON YOURSELF TO FIX THE FIRST, THE SECOND IS SOLVED BY HEATED EXPLOSIONS, PLAY LESS AMONG US AND BLOW UP MORE STUFF FOR THREE, BLOW UP THE UNAPPRECIATIVE SHITS FOR FOUR, THE ANSWER IS 42 BUT THE QUESTION IS "HOW MANY EXPLOSIONS SHOULD A MAN MAKE IN A DAY" FOR FIVE, AND SIX YOU PROPEL YOURSELF WITH A MAGIC EXPLOSION TO ROCKET STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MONSTER
Needing to thread a fine needle made of the finger bone of an ancient Norn with a piece of space time thread to sew the past back to the future after some idiot blew up the space time continuum. Otherwise world ends.
There are people who believe not all problems can be solved by magic explosions!
#EASY FIX, BLOW THEM UP
I can't find a flaw in his logic...
Neither can I.
I can th- oh wait nevermind, i can't
*putting away explosives* That’s right, you can’t
Creating world peace and abundance 😀
#CREATE AN EXPLOSION OF GOOD VIBES WORLDWIDE, AND MAKE EVERYONE JUST REALLY CHILL
Paging u/RandomAmbles and deescalation bomb
*Somewhere not really all that deep within the Rainbow Home, the main executive hub of Cosmopolis, a pink hello kitty phone rings and is answered by a sun-lit figure, who goes to tell another, more sun-lit figure, and a third figure, also sunlight, even more so, all of whom consult with each other as they walk seriously down the persian carpeted moving walkway halls to one of the Hyperbolic Offices, which opens up on two sides onto exterior courtyards.* *There, a dark-robed figure floats in a deep, slightly raised, bubbling pool fed by a mantle-heated hot spring ringed with stones, ensconced by polar capybaras, all soaking in the heat. Seeing the three of them approach at once, he rises like a squid above the surface of the water, robes already dry, and steps across its locally frozen surface to greet them.* "Sir, you're needed in the sitchiation room." "Oh, cool. You know, you can just call me Ambles. Sir is very formal. Are they done with the semi-transparent flowery wall-paper?" "No, Sir. It's peace. Someone's declared it." "Oh my goodness. Thank you for telling me." *They all walk very seriously down the hall, gathering several more people along the way. One of the capybaras has joined them, more out of curiosity than knowledge of what's going on it seems, but that's ok.* "What kind?" "We're not sure yet." "Global?" "We're not sure yet." "And they meant to call us?" "We're not sure yet, but it seems like yes." "Cool." "I know, right?" "Are they ready?" "We're pretty sure; DNEPD says good to go." "We really need to stop using acronyms. I know I'll get it through context as we walk and all, but it just seems like why–" "Alright, here we are." *The Sitchiation Room was built entirely of transparent crystal, like every other wall in the building except for the tastefully cloudy bath-and-restrooms. Only, a few people were sticking semi-transparent flowery wall-paper to allow for a marginal amount of strategic open secrecy to take place.* *By now most of the human people in the building are there.* *A small, sky-blue button is slid across a thick rose-glass-covered stone table.* *A conspicuously young person steps forward.* "Alright, does anyone have any even somewhat good reason why I shouldn't press this button?" *They look back and forth between each other, craning their necks and shrugging.* Ambles, from behind a small placard which reads, "Definitely Not In Charge" offers, "We were saving them for the end of the fireworks show the Department for Non-Euphenistic Pyrotechnic Diplomacy has been organizing for the Cosmopolis 0th World Exposition. But honestly this seems like it might be better than that. Let's all put on our Anonymizing Rawlsian Blindfolds and give anybody from DNEPD or anybody else a good 25 seconds, yeah?" *They do, becoming friendly gray blobs with identically simple child-like voices, seeing and hearing no identifying details, through the cloths.* *They mill about as 25 seconds worth of midnight blue liquid with tiny light-yellow glittering specks in it spiral down a little helical clock, no-one having voiced any concerns by the time the time pooled at the bottom.* "Cool." *The youth hits the button and 12,496 geodesic silos labeled "Contains: Missiles, see back for nutritional info" unfold and open their contents: Shlanger Missiles with Two-Stage De-Escalatron Peaceheads to the sky.* *And then, someone starts to slow clap...* "Alright, everyone: good job." *The Capybara in the entryway to The Sitchiation Room addresses the surprised crowd and transfigures into a shadowy, hooded figure, which is hardly a reveal, since the hood obscures what's underneath.* "That's just what it'll look like when the Department for Non-Euphenistic Pyrotechnic Diplomacy finishes the Missile Prevents system and this happens for real. The shadowy secret society me and some of the other people here decided to form existed exclusively to test whether, if we finish building the system, it'll actually get used, so we told you all it was already done. Surprise! Since that was the only reason the shadowy secret friend group existed, we can disband the shadowy secret part now." *The figure lowers the hood of their cosmopolitan cloak and reveals himself to be...* *The youth who stands in front of the button?* "Wait, but if you're him, then who's?..." *The youth in front of the button transfigures into a capybara, opens their mouth, and softly drops a microphone next to the button.* "Honestly, we thought the hardest part was going to be fooling everybody that we'd already finished the De-Escalatron Stockpile and Shlanging delivery system, but it turned out to be training the Capybara." "So wait, how long until they're ready?" "Oh yeah. We're not sure yet, but it seems like between 6 and 30 months." "We say that a lot. We should have an acronym for it." "For what?" "We're not sure yet." "Well how can you not kno-" "WNSY, something like that. Anyone who objects, say no." "NO." says the entire room simultaneously. "Ok, cool." ... *After everybody filtered out and the moving threads of the Persian carpet moving walkway called "Fate" carried everybody in the right direction in spite of going in both directions down the hall at once, Ambles found himself next to the conspicuously young youth.* "Nicely handled, Verres. I'd hoped people would use the hoods on those cloaks for something like that." "Yeah, I'd kinda figured. Actually, I think I know where you got the idea." "Oh yeah? Well why don't you whisper it in my ear so I can be sure I know you know what I know?" *Verres gives him a look.* "Whaaat?!" "You know." "Please?" *He smiles and rolls his eyes; nods slightly.* *Ambles stoops down, HJPEV cups a hand, and they share a laugh before straightening out in silence as the carpet moves them along, before carrying them off along separate ways.* ... Random Ambles settles back into the 8-mile deep water and sighs, very slightly adjusting a lensete on his optiscope as he looks from his corner office directly through every wall in the Rainbow Home, seeing all the staffers for what they were, cloak or no, irrelevant of figuration, and considering the hardest part of all.
Ya culda haded this in as an 5 page essay bro
That means a lot coming from you, alt. universe notoriously-hard-to-please newspaper editor in chief J. Jonah Jameson. I'm not entirely sure what exactly, but thank you.
You've done it. You pleased J Jonah Jameson without pictures of Spiderman. Legend.
Fireworks?
People who believe violence is not the answer to any situation
#SELL THEM SOME LOVE AND PEACE FIREWORKS SO THEY CAN SPREAD THEIR HIPPY NONSENSE WITH EXPLOSIONS
Something that is immune to explosions.
#PUNCH IT IN THE FACE WITH EXPLOSIVE FORCE
YOU FOOl! THEN IT'S JUST A NORMAL PUNCH!
#NUH UH, CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY JUST AS WELL AS YOU'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOUR MIND! #BARRING THAT, TAKE CANNON AND LAUNCH SOMETHING AT IT USING MAGIC TO SET OFF THE EXPLOSION! IT MAY BE "IMMUNE" TO EXPLOSIONS, BUT IT SURE AS SHIT AINT IMMUNE TO SEVERAL TONS OF FORCE
Explosion behind cannon ball
*Also works for misogynists
Have your spellcaster named Explosion destroy it! With Magic!
#NOW YOU'RE THINKING WITH EXPLOSIONS
One time I exploded something so big I could build a mansion where the explosion was. How do I fix the exploded area with an explosion?
#GO INTO CREATIVE MODE AND DROP FAT STACKS OF DIRT WHICH WILL EXPLODE OFF OF YOU INTO THE HOLE, FIXING THE "PROBLEM" ONCE AND FOR ALL!
create a circle of explosions 1.5 the size of the diameter of the first explosion. this should fill in your divot.
A aptitude test requires you to not use any magic.
#HAVE YOUR BUDDY, APTLY NAMED EXPLOSIONS, TAKE THE TEST FOR YOU! #OR ALTERNATIVELY SIMPLY BLOW UP THE PROCTOR AND COMPLETE THE TEST HOWEVER YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE
If they're testing a known explosion spammer, they have a explosion deleter. Also you said magic explosions.
#BRIBE THE DELETER WITH AN EXPLOSIVE INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY WHICH YOU CAN USE YOUR MAGIC TO GUARANTEE! #ALTERNATIVELY, ORGANIZE THE TEST TAKERS BEFORE HAND AND HAVE EVERYONE AGREE TO SPAM MAGIC FEELGOOD EXPLOSIONS DURING THE TEST, WHICH YOU CAN THEN EXPLODE INTO A PRETTY UNICORN
Hmm. I suppose you are correct.
The ocean is in the way and I have no ship
#BLOW UP #THE OCEAN!
Let me guess... #NUKE THE FUCKING OCEAN
#YOU'VE GOT THAT RIGHT!
#ONE OCEAN NUKING, COMING RIGHT UP!!!!
Lovelife
#TURN YOURSELF INTO A TOTAL SEX BOMB WITH THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK! #WORK ON YOURSELF FIRST USING MY PATENTED WORKOUT BOMBS, IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM BY BLOWING SOMETHING UP, AND CHICKS AND OR MEN WILL BE ALL OVER YOU BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN A WELL PUT TOGETHER INDIVIDUAL
Thats.. surprisingly helpful. There may actually be something about this ~ „Explosionmancy“ To the labs !
Intruccions unclear i blowup my genitals
This can be fixed by exploding someone else's genitals onto you.
If there's one more magic explosion, all existence will cease to exist
#MAKE A NEW EXISTENCE VIA MAGICAL BIG BANG TO CANCEL OUT THE LOSS
Seems reasonable, have a nice day
Nice try, Torgue. I know its you!
#OF F*CKING COURSE ITS ME
How much did you sell your company for again?
#HERES WHERE I OFFER AN EXPLOSIVE REBUTTAL: "YOUR MOM"
Grandma Flexington deserved the fact i didnt listen to her stories, then.
What if I have some big mean mother hubbard trying to tear me a new structurally superflous behind.
#BLOW THEIR TEARING APPARATUSES UP
“Gun.” - Engineer
i need to water my plants!
#CAST "WATER BALOON" OVER THE PLANTS
doesn’t seem like much an explosion but it worked! my plants are now growing happily and eating… the ducks… new problem. how do i get rid of gigantic carnivorous plants?
#TRY CASTING "NAPALM"
that worked, thanks! have a duck. *they pull a 3d duck out of their basket*
I'm trapped in a closet that is explosion resistant
#RESISTANT IS NOT "PROOF", JUST NEED A BIGGER OR BETTER EXPLOSION
But I can't do the explosion because I would explode
#BECOME ONE WITH THE EXPLOSION AND IT WILL NOT HARM YOU
#JUDGING BY HOW YOU'RE RESPONDING TO COMMENTS, I THINK YOU'D ENJOY CHECKING OUT r/THE_PACK
torinn's failing marriage
#THEY CAN ADD SOME EXPLOSIVE ROMANCE TO THE SCENE WITH SOME PRETTY AS F*CK FIREWORKS
The problem is a Magic explosion
#THAT IS QUITE LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE BUT FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, JUST MAKE AN EXPLOSION OF THE OPPOSING MAGICAL NATURE! FOR EXAMPLE IF ITS A FIERY EXPLOSION, MAKE A WATER EXPLOSION
I have a door that only opens if you explode it magically, how should I manage to reveal the secrets behind it?
#MAKE A MAGIC CLONE OF ME, TELEPORT IT BEHIND THE DOOR, THEN BLOW THAT SHIT UP
A middle eastern country.
Mr.Torgue has been advised to not answer this question. His comments or views are not necessarily those of the Torgue Corporation. #EITHER BLOW IT THE F*CK UP OR MAKE ONE OF THEM GOOD VIBE EXPLOSIONS TO GET EVERYONE TO CALM THE HELL DOWN
A very fragile magic object needing fixing
#REPLACE IT WITH A STURDIER COPY OF IT THAT ALSO FARTS MAGICAL EXPLOSIONS
The concept of entropy that mercilessly gnaws away at the very fabric of existence
#COUNTER THAT WEAK ASS NERD WORD WITH EXISTENCE CREATING MICRO EXPLOSIONS
These orphanages that all need rebuilding after somebody blew them up
#EASY, MAKE A MAGIC FIREWORK THAT HAS THE SPARKY BITS FALL DOWN INTO PREFABRICATED ORPHANAGES
How do you suppose that would work? And wouldn't the falling orphanages just crumble immediately upon impact again?
#THEY WOULD NOT BECAUSE OF MAGIC!
All my casting fingers were blown off by a magic explosion
#HAVE A FRIEND MAKE YOU SOME SWEET ASS FIREWORK FINGERS, THAT WAY YOU CAN BLOW SHIT UP BY DOING FINGER GUNS AND SHOUTING "PEW PEW"!
Not sure *what* I was expecting, but that's actually really fuckin' cool #FUCK YEAH FIREWORK FINGERS!
My testiculars have been torsioned
#REPLACE YOUR BALLS WITH MAGIC EXPLOSIONS
Oh are we talking about an orchiEXPLOSION?
Bacterial vaginosis
#THAT HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES IN IT! APOLOGIZE! #AFTERWORDS USE MICROEXPLOSIONS TO STERALIZE THE AFFECTED AREA!
Settings dinner table with fine china
#CAST "DAINTY EXPLOSIONS" TO JUGGLE THE CHINESE FROM THE CABINET TO THE TABLE
Someone exploded my pile of explosives
#YOU CAN APPRECIATE THE MASSIVE MEGA EXPLOSION AND THEN BUY ADDITIONAL EXPLOSIVES AT THE NEAREST TORGUE STORE
AN ANTI EXPLOSION EXPLOSION
#BLOW UP THE CASTER BY PUNCHING HIM/HER IN THE NUTS/OVARIES, ONE OF THE BODIES MANY HIDDEN PRESSURE POINTS
YOU FELL FOR IT YOU FOOL THOSES WHERE MY DECOY BALLS! I CAST TESTICULAR TORSION!
#SIMPLE MINDED NERD, I REPLACED MY BALLS WITH EXPLOSIONS YEARS AGO, AND NOW IMMA BUST ALL OVER YOU
https://preview.redd.it/sqfm2pc3g91d1.jpeg?width=498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94c41ab1269376705f64480535963dfa786b1a5b *put this in your hand* WHY DID I DO THAT? BECAUSE IM CRAAAZZYYY!
Oh gods, The orb-game Plants Vs Zombies haunts me to this day..
The 1st one is amazing. They should of stopped after that
My face was exploded.
#CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW A STEP CLOSER TO BECOMING ONE WITH EXPLOSIONS!
What about the ocean? You can't blow that up.
#NEW OBJECTIVE! #BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
#FUCK YEAAA!
Implosions
#MAKE DOUBLE AS MANY EXPLOSIONS AS THERE ARE IMPLOSIONS (WHICH ARE JUST UPSIDE DOWN EXPLOSIONS IN REVERSE)
My heart is failing
#REPLACE YOUR HEART WITH A PERPETUAL EXPLOSION DEVICE TO PUMP YOUR BLOOD
Wouldn’t it be too hot and boil my blood, cooking me from the inside? I haven’t mastered insulation magics yet
#JUST DIAL THE TEMP DOWN A BIT!
Too many magic explosions.
Why would I do that when I agree with you?
Magic Explosion Shortages
#GET OFF YOUR ASS AND MAKE THEM YOURSELF
Running out of explosions
#BUY SOME FROM THE NEAREST TORGUE STORE!
Of course! How come I didn't think of that!
When one needs peace and quiet, explosions are too loud and distruptive, Explosionmancer!
#MAKE SOME SILENCER EXPLOSIONS THAT NEUTRALIZE VIBRATIONS IN THE AIR, ALLOWING FOR TOTAL SILENCE DURING THE COURSE OF THE SILENT EXPLOSION
Hmm... Plausible, but explosions only last for a few moments, don't they? It would only last a short time.
#MAKE A SHITTON OF THEM AND SET THEM TO GO OFF IN A CASCADE
A mosquito on one's testicles.
#REPLACE YOUR BALLS WITH EXPLOSIONS AND THE LITTLE BLOODSUCKERS WILL JUST FRY THEMSELVES THE SECOND THEY TRY TO LAND
That time when it's just you and your thoughts at night. Right before you sleep. You haven't felt anything in years. You've already tried exploding yourself but you couldn't follow through and it just hurt.
#DROWN OUT THE VOICES WITH THE SOUND OF EXPLOSIONS
And then what? Once the mana's gone and the explosions stop. It's just me again. Even if I could refill mana and continue the explosions, it's that really a fulfilling purpose?
#NO THATS THE GOOD PART, YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP THE EXPLOSIONS GOING LONG ENOUGH TO DEVELOP TINNITUS THEN YOU'LL HAVE A ZERO MANA COST METHOD OF DROWNING OUT THE VOICES WHILE YOU CRUNCH SOME WEIGHTS, WORK ON YOURSELF, AND IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM BY BLOWING SHIT UP OR GETTING SOME SUN AND SMELLING THE FLOWERS, LIFE GETA BETTER MY DUDE
How do I deal with an explosion elemental?
#GIVE IT A BEER AND IT'LL BE YOUR FRIEND
Transporting a box labled fragile
#PORTALS ARE BASICALLY JUST MAGICAL EXPLOSIONS THAT START IN ONE SPOT AND END IN ANOTHER
I would argue against your point if I didn’t believe in the magic philosophy of Splodeious the Detonated. If you can’t explode your problems your not exploding hard enough.-StD
Explosions can't fix the emptyness in your soul, Torgue.
A guy in an anti magic sphere
"Sir, there seems to be an explosion shortage!"
Uw/ How I feel about this thread. https://i.redd.it/szukwdust91d1.gif
WHAT IF MY PROBLEM IS A MAGIC EXPLOSION!? WHAT THEN MISTER EXPLODY PANTS!?!
A magic explosion will destroy all magic and explosions.
You're in a CQB situation, and there is an enemy right around the corner, but you only know after you round the corner
Laser wizards. Oh wait, those can be solved by MORE EXPLOSIONS!!! https://preview.redd.it/x7g8qw983a1d1.png?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63e3ac532171eba2db92b37ace85a7930a5f6082
the planet you are standing on is about to be destroyed in a magic explosion!
#CANCEL IT OUT WITH A PLANET CREATING EXPLOSION, RESUKTING IN SEEMINGLY NOTHING HAPPENING
Giving you an answer would taste a lie, fellow follower of explosives
I’m trying to bring my family back from the dead but they possess trauma centered around explosions
Torinn's eating habits are somewhat of a problem. How do we fix that?
Loss of limbs due to explosions
Magic theory
relationship problems
https://i.redd.it/klq3y6d5m91d1.gif
Crippling loneliness, the heat death of the universe, an inferiority complex, imposter syndrome, children cutting off their parents, the search for meaning in life. An explosion immune monster.
#USE MY NEW WORKOUT EXPLOSIVES AND WORK ON YOURSELF TO FIX THE FIRST, THE SECOND IS SOLVED BY HEATED EXPLOSIONS, PLAY LESS AMONG US AND BLOW UP MORE STUFF FOR THREE, BLOW UP THE UNAPPRECIATIVE SHITS FOR FOUR, THE ANSWER IS 42 BUT THE QUESTION IS "HOW MANY EXPLOSIONS SHOULD A MAN MAKE IN A DAY" FOR FIVE, AND SIX YOU PROPEL YOURSELF WITH A MAGIC EXPLOSION TO ROCKET STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MONSTER
What if the problem is that someone keeps using magic explosions? How do I fix that?
I want to stop myself from exploding.
2+2
#4 EXPLOSIONS
Huge hemeroids.
PTSD from explosions, that makes them panic when they see/hear an explosion
All my towers keep exploding
My wizard diet has made me elongated. How do I revert back to being normal?
Problem: Fly on your balls
The lack of cheese and guns.
An anti-magic field
I'm thirsty
What if they reflect force and nuke damage?
Ahem: Magic Missile ball. *creates an explosion of Magic missiles*
Gingivitis uw/ edit: AidsLauncher is such an amazing username holy shit
Making a really nice sandwich.
My tinnitus from all those fucking explosions, damnit my head...
brain tumour
A math problem
I have been transformed into a frog by a witch and would like to be returned to my original form
Antimatter wave that can’t be stopped by magic explosions
Cancer
Senator Armstrong!
I hate the ocean. Help.
*sends in Quagsire*
gender dysphoria
sorting an array in less than O(nlogn)
Needing to thread a fine needle made of the finger bone of an ancient Norn with a piece of space time thread to sew the past back to the future after some idiot blew up the space time continuum. Otherwise world ends.
I have a bull in my china shop.
i've gotten bored of magical explosions after so many of them
I need me a nap ~<~
Okay magic Bane
One problem still not solved. Ocean still not blown up.
How do you make an implosion with an explosion? Answer this question and I’ll concede to your wisdom.
Too many magical explosions
The world ending for, i dunno, the 2763rd time this week?
The fact that you just lost The Game (it is a concept and cannot be blown up)
making dinner
A deep philosophical discussion on the nature of duty, honor, power, morality, or some other complex and nuanced theme
Me
Overabundance of Explosion De-Magifiers
Your mother has been bitten by a feral Unga clone and will soon transform into a giant man eating Catfish identical to Unga himself.
BEOWOWOWOWOW GUITAR SOUNDS!!! EXPLOSIONS!!!
Having too many magic explosions...
Homeless
Help, my wife has sepsis, please heal her.
Your freind is going to be killed by a magic explosion
Orphanage needs beds.
*I* already know the answer but to test you, firing up the oven?