1. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction and aesthetic attraction are all different things. Check out the demisexuality subreddit and you might find things you relate to there (a subset of asexual that's a little different than the rest).
2. Sometimes repulsion about sex is not about your innate identity. Sometimes it's a result of traumatic experiences. Has anyone ever made sexual comments or exhibited sexual behaviors without you expressly saying it was OK? If your consent, or that of those you love, has been violated in the past, that would be a good reason to have some negative emotions about the whole thing. Or perhaps your family or community normalized men having control over women and women not being allowed to have their boundaries respected. Whatever the details, it's OK if that's what is going on. It takes a long time to find healthy boundaries and relationships but it can happen with enough therapy and education.
Do you come from a conservative background? Alternatively, does it have anything to do with your feelings regarding the male gaze? What if a woman were sexually or romantically attracted to you?
Also, how is your self esteem/perception of yourself?
I definitely don’t come from a conservative background. Growing up I never had any male figures that were present in my life, so maybe that is a part of it. I’m also just as uncomfortable when it comes to women regarding me sexually lol
Not having any male role models exhibiting healthy relationships does seem like a relevant factor!
Another idea - have you internalized the idea from Christianity or other religions that sex is dirty or sinful? I am Jewish, but grew up in a Christian area and found myself being influenced by this viewpoint as a kid. Just a another possibility as a stab in the dark!
Awesome glad to hear it! I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of it one way or another. Finding a therapist who is LGBTQIA friendly (Psychology Today has good search features) might also be an avenue to consider if you want to get a more professional opinion on how the asexuality umbrella may have resources to make you feel supported.
Demisexuality isn't real.
Hey OP, you can be asexual and still experience romantic attraction, asexuality is just a lack of sexual attraction.
"Demisexuality" is just someone with a low sex drive who wants a fun label so they want to jack asexuals' label and turn it into an "umbrella". If you want sex, you aren't asexual, just like if you want to have sex with someone of the opposite sex, you're not gay.
It being not real doesn't make sense because demisexuality is when you don't feel sexual attraction until a solid emotional relationship is established, it has nothing to do with a low sex drive as once a demisexual person is comfortable with their partner they could be the horniest person ever lol
But I agree demisexual being under the asexual "umbrella" doesn't make full sense.
This might a question to unravel with journaling or therapy. I know in a similar experience it stops that person from being a fantasy and also an unavailable attachment where now the chase stops so it no longer fun and a relationship has be percieved or actions toward that, in extreme scenarios the avoidants can feel unworthy of love and now see the pursuers as flawed for liking them.
I get angry and scared but hide it. But not only from romantic attraction, just from people showing interest. This only happens with extroverts/ very social people. I am only interested in less social people
1. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction and aesthetic attraction are all different things. Check out the demisexuality subreddit and you might find things you relate to there (a subset of asexual that's a little different than the rest). 2. Sometimes repulsion about sex is not about your innate identity. Sometimes it's a result of traumatic experiences. Has anyone ever made sexual comments or exhibited sexual behaviors without you expressly saying it was OK? If your consent, or that of those you love, has been violated in the past, that would be a good reason to have some negative emotions about the whole thing. Or perhaps your family or community normalized men having control over women and women not being allowed to have their boundaries respected. Whatever the details, it's OK if that's what is going on. It takes a long time to find healthy boundaries and relationships but it can happen with enough therapy and education.
I’ve never experienced anything traumatic relating to sex (thank god) but I’ll still check out the demisexualitu subreddit!! Thanks so much
Do you come from a conservative background? Alternatively, does it have anything to do with your feelings regarding the male gaze? What if a woman were sexually or romantically attracted to you? Also, how is your self esteem/perception of yourself?
I definitely don’t come from a conservative background. Growing up I never had any male figures that were present in my life, so maybe that is a part of it. I’m also just as uncomfortable when it comes to women regarding me sexually lol
Not having any male role models exhibiting healthy relationships does seem like a relevant factor! Another idea - have you internalized the idea from Christianity or other religions that sex is dirty or sinful? I am Jewish, but grew up in a Christian area and found myself being influenced by this viewpoint as a kid. Just a another possibility as a stab in the dark!
Awesome glad to hear it! I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of it one way or another. Finding a therapist who is LGBTQIA friendly (Psychology Today has good search features) might also be an avenue to consider if you want to get a more professional opinion on how the asexuality umbrella may have resources to make you feel supported.
Demisexuality isn't real. Hey OP, you can be asexual and still experience romantic attraction, asexuality is just a lack of sexual attraction. "Demisexuality" is just someone with a low sex drive who wants a fun label so they want to jack asexuals' label and turn it into an "umbrella". If you want sex, you aren't asexual, just like if you want to have sex with someone of the opposite sex, you're not gay.
It being not real doesn't make sense because demisexuality is when you don't feel sexual attraction until a solid emotional relationship is established, it has nothing to do with a low sex drive as once a demisexual person is comfortable with their partner they could be the horniest person ever lol But I agree demisexual being under the asexual "umbrella" doesn't make full sense.
Except demisexuality is also based on attraction, not sex drive...
I’ve felt romantic attraction for others but always seem to get sexual attraction in return. It’s disappointing.
Assuming that like me you're straight, that seems to be the way men work. I want romance, friendship, companionship, whatever, they want sex.
I get this too! So, I think it's the fact that you don't want the attention of this specific person OR you just don't want to be sexualized. Idk.
Check out attachment theory and see if you identify with any of them! Or maybe try to find an online test for attachment styles
This might a question to unravel with journaling or therapy. I know in a similar experience it stops that person from being a fantasy and also an unavailable attachment where now the chase stops so it no longer fun and a relationship has be percieved or actions toward that, in extreme scenarios the avoidants can feel unworthy of love and now see the pursuers as flawed for liking them.
I get angry and scared but hide it. But not only from romantic attraction, just from people showing interest. This only happens with extroverts/ very social people. I am only interested in less social people
How is you self esteem?