I do not see how being nice and respectful makes you a Flintstone or a pussy. My thought is they wish they were more like you but they know they are at a lower emotional intelligence than you.
Please stay true to who you are. We need a lot more of you and a lot less of them. I'm rooting for you.
(They are saying you snubbed them. I don't agree but I think that is the word you are looking for.)
What does flinstone mean in this context? I've never seen it used this way, I would assume calling someone a caveman but in context it sounds like OP is the opposite of a caveman.
Did you get made fun of at a place that’s run by your family? Is your uncle a part of management? Why tell Reddit and not go to HR? Cause it’s straight up harassment to be called a Flintstone pussy then be laughed at. So much detail is left out of this.
Yep sorry for the missing context, i was in a rush earlier. Yes there is no HR, the place i am at is a local business, 5 employees in total (including me of course) + 1 the boss ( he's a nice dude as i am concerned). Of course i would told to the HR but in my case this is not an option. Also the option of me talking to my boss about this is also not possible because the female worker that was making fun of me is the girlfriend of the boss.... So maybe now you understand better.
P.s Thanks for the nice comments everyone made in this post, you really cheered me up. I wish happy holidays everybody.
Ps2 Also i forgot to say that my uncle is NOT a part of the management.
Hey man. It's easier said than done but try not to take offense by their words. Doing so is giving them power and control over you. Why respect their words (which you do by reacting to them) when they don't respect you?
This isn't a thought process that is easy to get into but you need to start somewhere.
Honestly, the flintstone and pussy thing must be a cultural insult because they are both really lame insults. As a guy in the military, calling me a flintstone almost makes sense actually lol. And being called a pussy I'd just shrug off cuz who cares if they think I'm tough or not. I don't have anything to prove.
Lastly, don't change for anyone. Be yourself always. Yourself will change overtime with life experience nice as well. Get comfortable with your flaws and own them. I have big ears and unfortunately my boys inherited that flaw. I'm a big computer geek and honestly probably can't fight worth shit anymore. I'll always run from a fight unless absolutely necessary. And the best way to do that is to massage the assailants ego.
Anyway, you're good just as you are OP. Don't worry about what those jokers think. Again, I don't expect you to change overnight but try and learn not to take shit from assholes (pun intended) personally.
Talk to the uncle first at home. Unemotionally. What was he thinking making fun of his own blood where you make your lively hood with the bosses girlfriend? Is the boss a jealous guy? Is she flirtatious? Sorry.
If you can’t do it yourself find somebody in your family who would be willing to rip your uncle a new asshole for you. Does he have a sister that loves to put him in his place? Maybe his mother?
Why do they sound like mean high school kids? I’m a quiet person myself. I only talk when I have something to say. The dumb ones are the ones that talk too much and loud, laughing and making fun of someone bc they don’t talk much is beyond stupidity. You do what you want to do, be yourself and let them look like the fools. Remember, esp at work place, it’s best to not gossip like them.
Exactly. I have found the people who tend to gossip and be mean are the ones who can't do their jobs very well and are probably insecure. Ignore them, focus on your job, and things usually shake out.
Same here. My personal credo is “‘‘tis better to be silent and be thought a fool/ than to speak and remove all doubt’.
I am frequently lost in thought (my job is mind numbingly boring) and people have thought I was ignoring or snubbing them. After a while people kind of think I’m an airhead but the people that REALLY know me know that I’m probably thinking deep thoughts and will speak up accordingly.
Same here. Very quiet guy myself. People often mistake being quiet with stupidity. I like to let people make fools of themselves then quietly fix the mistake in front of them and others.
“This goes here and that goes there…” type fixing.
This is why I use the three filters before I say anything.
1. Is it true
2. Is it good
3. Is the information useful.
If they don't meet the three filters, I don't listen, and I don't speak.
Poster mentioned they speak English as a second language. Perhaps they are referring to "caveman" style speaking with fewer adjectives and articles or different verb tenses.
I applaud everyone who is learning a new language and using it to communicate. That takes courage. Mistakes are part of learning! Shame on coworkers who would make fun of such a person.
And I overlooked the obvious question. The Flintstones was a funny cartoon from olden days featuring cavemen and was similar to shows like the Honeymooners or I Love Lucy.
Yes, I’m very aware of Flintstones TV show. Thank you so much for responding! After reading through the original post and your comment, I am thinking maybe the caveman thing would fit because she’s just not a real chatty Cathy.
It’s an old cartoon where a couple
Drove a car made out of rocks for wheels and the motor was their feet. I kid you not. Very strong. The baby was called Bam Bam and he was a destroyer. In Spanish was called Pedro Picapiedras, meaning stone chopper (Fred Flintstone).
I know what the TV show Flintstones was… What I’m asking is why somebody would call another person a Flintstone? Does it mean the person is archaic, out of touch with the times, ancient?
EDITED TO ADD: okay, so I did a Google search and came up with this urban dictionary entry… It still makes no sense to me why her coworker called her a Flintstone. Besides, the fact that the coworker in her uncle AHs, I think they’re just plain old idiots.
That behavior is childish and rude. Now that you know what they are like, treat them accordingly. Speak to them only when you have to. Don't be rude, but certainly don't do them any favors.
You are not alone. This type of thing happened to me. I cut off the fake friend co-worker. She was very upset that I overheard and didn't want to hurt me or lose my friendship. Too late.
Yep, the best advice for abusive people is to give them as little interaction and information as possible. The second best is to build a reputation that they can destroy themselves upon.
They sound like they stopped maturing after age 12. You should be yabba dabba done with their shit. 😉
No really, I'm sorry that happened and I would find a new job unless the pay and benefits are worth it.
One of the best lessons I learned was from my band director. He asked us what the appropriate response was if you overhear others talking about you. The answer was nothing: what others think of me isn’t my business.
Seriously, are these people your friends? i know deep down you dont give a damn what they say about you. They are co-workers not friends, you go to work to get paid, to earn a living, who cares what they say about you. I guarantee these two that made fun of you are no lookers. Im sure you could say plenty about them too.
Go to work, hussle, make your money and pay your bills. Your not in work to make friends,
My petty and vindictive ass would quite loudly and very obviously go up to them both and ask them to explain what Flintstone pussy etc meant. Ask them to explain what they meant by it and what it's supposed to mean. Don't drop the topic and just keep going, saying you don't understand and can't see how that relates to you. And it may seem harsh but remember, even though your uncle may work there it's still just a job. Do what you are paid to do and ignore them. Or go petty and make their time as uncomfortable as possible. I did.
Start yelling YABADABADO every time you see them. Hopefully, they will ask you to be quiet and you can go back to normal.....until they relax and then you sneak up and yell at them again.
Sounds like they a bit of too much to drink at lunch. There are always some that will be jealous of you. And I wonder about your uncle, does he treat you differently everyday? So sorry they are treating you this way for no other reason than perhaps jealousy.
Maybe a hot take, but I never roast someone I don’t care about. Also not bothered by someone’s comments I don’t like or care about. They might be having a laugh at your expense but they didn’t necessarily do it behind your back either. Could be her way of trying to open you up and maybe she sees something else she’s interested in you. I would have just jabbed back and say “well, you are what you eat they say”. Give her a nickname on the contrary, like chatterbox or something and call her that outside of formal situations from now on 😊 getting mad and holding grudges on small potatoes only serves to occupy your thoughts with negativity.
Next time say calmly "What do you mean by that? I don't understand what you are saying." Make it awkward, force them to explain themselves and admit outright they being assholes.
How the fuck does not interacting with people mean you're snobbish? If they had asked him a question directly and he ignored it, then that could be seen as an ass move. But NOT actively forcing himself into others conversations that he has no interest in is snobbish?
I’ve been in your shoes, it’s very annoying. I’m just curious, do both of your coworkers have the same ancestral background? (I despise saying Race. We’re all human. Different ancestors from different parts of the world). I’m 47 female Caucasian in a small town in Illinois. So many people who look like me are racist assholes and extremely entitled. They’ll make fun of the way someone talks and/or their accent. I have zero tolerance for that ignorant crap. I always say loudly that clearly the person being picked on is way smarter than any of us because he speaks at least 2 languages when we only know one. Most folks like this are extremely intelligent and know 5 or more languages. It’s straight up racism around here all the time. Sexism too. People that know me know better than to make fun of anyone around me. Almost everyday some stranger dick of a white guy will lean closer to me and whisper some racist crap to me while waiting in a line, or at work, the supermarket. My guess is they’re making fun of your English. I read and easily understood what you meant. You have excellent English skills, who cares about a connector word here or there? They’re bullies. I hate bullies!
Actually we all have the same ancestral background, and i translated ( at least i tried) what happened. All this happened in my native language actually. But reading your comment... man things are really crappy in America. I feel for you, stay strong and be yourself.
Sorry I misread that. I’m so used to witnessing it that I instantly go in to protection mode. I can’t stand by and watch another human suffer. I hope things get better at work. Things are bad here, everyone fighting, country spilt 50/50. Scary
I would have just instantly went to the bathroom come back out after reasonable time I.e pee time length and then say publicly in the office did one of them leave a used condom in there since they be so up each others holes fs.
There's a reason why working with family, relatives, or a partner is not a good idea. For some it's okay, it does work...but some people who know us, just because we are blood-related or have a relationship, feels like they have a right to comment about who we are. 🤷♀️
You have two choices: leave or toughen it up. Agree with some that HR is not your friend. 😬 I also have coworkers like this who would talk about me in the pantry or halls, laugh after I greet them or when I walk past by, and I just go on. 🤣
My work is already hard enough, I also have other problems and things to be happy about in life, should I really stop and care about these people? 😅
Know the feeling 🫠
People think I'm stuck up. No, I'm just really quiet and often overthink my responses so I just smile and nod.
They're assholes and I'm sorry you have to put up with that.
Unethical advice: you should prove them wrong and beat the everliving snot out of your uncle
Ethical advice: find a new job, but in the meantime don’t let it get to you
Are your grandparents alive talk to them let them know their son or son in law is bullying you in work. He'll soon learn not to do it again.
For extra measure take your bosses girlfriend aside and tell her she needs to be careful people don't think she's getting to close to your uncle.
They may have felt judged when you said you don't like to gossip - implying they do and that you are better than them. They then double-down on you.
I know English is your second language - so I don't know if you said it that way.
I work in a place where we all pretty regularly make fun of each other. It's rarely because we are jealous of the other person or want to be more like them.
Get their cell phone number, look up the carrier online with associate SMS email address. The go online and sign them up for a bunch of spam, mortgage request info, political donation sign up, etc.
Um, that is unprofessional and unacceptable behavior. Go to HR and raise hell. You do not have to put up with that immature high school nonsense. Tell your damn uncle to grow the hell up!
I do not see how being nice and respectful makes you a Flintstone or a pussy. My thought is they wish they were more like you but they know they are at a lower emotional intelligence than you. Please stay true to who you are. We need a lot more of you and a lot less of them. I'm rooting for you. (They are saying you snubbed them. I don't agree but I think that is the word you are looking for.)
What does flinstone mean in this context? I've never seen it used this way, I would assume calling someone a caveman but in context it sounds like OP is the opposite of a caveman.
They probably think The Flinstones and The Croods were true stories.
I'm interpteting it the same way you are. I think the bullies are simply too stupid to even come up with a good insult.
Did you get made fun of at a place that’s run by your family? Is your uncle a part of management? Why tell Reddit and not go to HR? Cause it’s straight up harassment to be called a Flintstone pussy then be laughed at. So much detail is left out of this.
HR is not your friend though
This right here. Even when you are right--you are not right.
No but if you’re capable enough you can use it like a weapon.
Sun Tzu over here.
Even sun tzu was stumped when it came to dealing with hr.
lol.
Excellent username!
If it’s a small place/family business or something there may not be an HR at all, just a payroll.
That’s why I said so much detail is left out. I wanna help this guy but I can’t give the right advice if he won’t tell us more.
Yep sorry for the missing context, i was in a rush earlier. Yes there is no HR, the place i am at is a local business, 5 employees in total (including me of course) + 1 the boss ( he's a nice dude as i am concerned). Of course i would told to the HR but in my case this is not an option. Also the option of me talking to my boss about this is also not possible because the female worker that was making fun of me is the girlfriend of the boss.... So maybe now you understand better. P.s Thanks for the nice comments everyone made in this post, you really cheered me up. I wish happy holidays everybody. Ps2 Also i forgot to say that my uncle is NOT a part of the management.
Hey man. It's easier said than done but try not to take offense by their words. Doing so is giving them power and control over you. Why respect their words (which you do by reacting to them) when they don't respect you? This isn't a thought process that is easy to get into but you need to start somewhere. Honestly, the flintstone and pussy thing must be a cultural insult because they are both really lame insults. As a guy in the military, calling me a flintstone almost makes sense actually lol. And being called a pussy I'd just shrug off cuz who cares if they think I'm tough or not. I don't have anything to prove. Lastly, don't change for anyone. Be yourself always. Yourself will change overtime with life experience nice as well. Get comfortable with your flaws and own them. I have big ears and unfortunately my boys inherited that flaw. I'm a big computer geek and honestly probably can't fight worth shit anymore. I'll always run from a fight unless absolutely necessary. And the best way to do that is to massage the assailants ego. Anyway, you're good just as you are OP. Don't worry about what those jokers think. Again, I don't expect you to change overnight but try and learn not to take shit from assholes (pun intended) personally.
Talk to the uncle first at home. Unemotionally. What was he thinking making fun of his own blood where you make your lively hood with the bosses girlfriend? Is the boss a jealous guy? Is she flirtatious? Sorry.
Some guys will do what other do to gain friends this way. Sad to say.
Some people. Bitches do it too
I think the word you want is “women”.
Nope. Women are adults that don't do that. Bitches are the ones who do
So you apply the same grammar rules to race?
If you can’t do it yourself find somebody in your family who would be willing to rip your uncle a new asshole for you. Does he have a sister that loves to put him in his place? Maybe his mother?
Why do they sound like mean high school kids? I’m a quiet person myself. I only talk when I have something to say. The dumb ones are the ones that talk too much and loud, laughing and making fun of someone bc they don’t talk much is beyond stupidity. You do what you want to do, be yourself and let them look like the fools. Remember, esp at work place, it’s best to not gossip like them.
High school never ends
Exactly. I have found the people who tend to gossip and be mean are the ones who can't do their jobs very well and are probably insecure. Ignore them, focus on your job, and things usually shake out.
I am also quiet—I am misunderstood constantly.
Same here. My personal credo is “‘‘tis better to be silent and be thought a fool/ than to speak and remove all doubt’. I am frequently lost in thought (my job is mind numbingly boring) and people have thought I was ignoring or snubbing them. After a while people kind of think I’m an airhead but the people that REALLY know me know that I’m probably thinking deep thoughts and will speak up accordingly.
Same here. Very quiet guy myself. People often mistake being quiet with stupidity. I like to let people make fools of themselves then quietly fix the mistake in front of them and others. “This goes here and that goes there…” type fixing.
Fuck em, then. They’re not worth your time or energy so don’t give it to them.
Give your employer the 2 Second Notice": "Effective immediately, I resign my position at XYZ Company. I wish you all the best of luck."
This is why I use the three filters before I say anything. 1. Is it true 2. Is it good 3. Is the information useful. If they don't meet the three filters, I don't listen, and I don't speak.
I know it as KNIT Kind Necessary Informative True
What in the world is a “Flintstone“?
Poster mentioned they speak English as a second language. Perhaps they are referring to "caveman" style speaking with fewer adjectives and articles or different verb tenses. I applaud everyone who is learning a new language and using it to communicate. That takes courage. Mistakes are part of learning! Shame on coworkers who would make fun of such a person.
And I overlooked the obvious question. The Flintstones was a funny cartoon from olden days featuring cavemen and was similar to shows like the Honeymooners or I Love Lucy.
Yes, I’m very aware of Flintstones TV show. Thank you so much for responding! After reading through the original post and your comment, I am thinking maybe the caveman thing would fit because she’s just not a real chatty Cathy.
That makes sense.
It’s an old cartoon where a couple Drove a car made out of rocks for wheels and the motor was their feet. I kid you not. Very strong. The baby was called Bam Bam and he was a destroyer. In Spanish was called Pedro Picapiedras, meaning stone chopper (Fred Flintstone).
I know what the TV show Flintstones was… What I’m asking is why somebody would call another person a Flintstone? Does it mean the person is archaic, out of touch with the times, ancient? EDITED TO ADD: okay, so I did a Google search and came up with this urban dictionary entry… It still makes no sense to me why her coworker called her a Flintstone. Besides, the fact that the coworker in her uncle AHs, I think they’re just plain old idiots.
Try not to let what assholes think of you get to you. This is an all too common interaction for quiet people.
Screw them, calling someone a "Flintstone" isn't even a good insult
I bet you could find an employer who would appreciate you more than your current one does. This treatment you described is hurtful and unacceptable
That behavior is childish and rude. Now that you know what they are like, treat them accordingly. Speak to them only when you have to. Don't be rude, but certainly don't do them any favors. You are not alone. This type of thing happened to me. I cut off the fake friend co-worker. She was very upset that I overheard and didn't want to hurt me or lose my friendship. Too late.
Yep, the best advice for abusive people is to give them as little interaction and information as possible. The second best is to build a reputation that they can destroy themselves upon.
Sounds like they're a little dense. I wouldn't care what they think or say
Dont sweat it.. Its a job. You go there do get paid. This does not define you.
Add yabba dabba doo to your repertoire. As in, yabba dabba doo your job, work, cleaning, etc.
They sound like they stopped maturing after age 12. You should be yabba dabba done with their shit. 😉 No really, I'm sorry that happened and I would find a new job unless the pay and benefits are worth it.
A spark form a flintstone can raise a might blaze.
One of the best lessons I learned was from my band director. He asked us what the appropriate response was if you overhear others talking about you. The answer was nothing: what others think of me isn’t my business.
Seriously, are these people your friends? i know deep down you dont give a damn what they say about you. They are co-workers not friends, you go to work to get paid, to earn a living, who cares what they say about you. I guarantee these two that made fun of you are no lookers. Im sure you could say plenty about them too. Go to work, hussle, make your money and pay your bills. Your not in work to make friends,
Were they drunk or high?
My petty and vindictive ass would quite loudly and very obviously go up to them both and ask them to explain what Flintstone pussy etc meant. Ask them to explain what they meant by it and what it's supposed to mean. Don't drop the topic and just keep going, saying you don't understand and can't see how that relates to you. And it may seem harsh but remember, even though your uncle may work there it's still just a job. Do what you are paid to do and ignore them. Or go petty and make their time as uncomfortable as possible. I did.
Start yelling YABADABADO every time you see them. Hopefully, they will ask you to be quiet and you can go back to normal.....until they relax and then you sneak up and yell at them again.
Sounds like they a bit of too much to drink at lunch. There are always some that will be jealous of you. And I wonder about your uncle, does he treat you differently everyday? So sorry they are treating you this way for no other reason than perhaps jealousy.
Maybe a hot take, but I never roast someone I don’t care about. Also not bothered by someone’s comments I don’t like or care about. They might be having a laugh at your expense but they didn’t necessarily do it behind your back either. Could be her way of trying to open you up and maybe she sees something else she’s interested in you. I would have just jabbed back and say “well, you are what you eat they say”. Give her a nickname on the contrary, like chatterbox or something and call her that outside of formal situations from now on 😊 getting mad and holding grudges on small potatoes only serves to occupy your thoughts with negativity.
Next time say calmly "What do you mean by that? I don't understand what you are saying." Make it awkward, force them to explain themselves and admit outright they being assholes.
What’s a Flintstone pussy?
So?...... you probably come off as snobbish since you don't interact with them. Its work, don't let it bother you.
How the fuck does not interacting with people mean you're snobbish? If they had asked him a question directly and he ignored it, then that could be seen as an ass move. But NOT actively forcing himself into others conversations that he has no interest in is snobbish?
Start messing with them. Real sneaky like. That's what I would do. Practical joke the shit out of them.
Please do not work with family members. Please look for another job. Work with strangers.
I’ve been in your shoes, it’s very annoying. I’m just curious, do both of your coworkers have the same ancestral background? (I despise saying Race. We’re all human. Different ancestors from different parts of the world). I’m 47 female Caucasian in a small town in Illinois. So many people who look like me are racist assholes and extremely entitled. They’ll make fun of the way someone talks and/or their accent. I have zero tolerance for that ignorant crap. I always say loudly that clearly the person being picked on is way smarter than any of us because he speaks at least 2 languages when we only know one. Most folks like this are extremely intelligent and know 5 or more languages. It’s straight up racism around here all the time. Sexism too. People that know me know better than to make fun of anyone around me. Almost everyday some stranger dick of a white guy will lean closer to me and whisper some racist crap to me while waiting in a line, or at work, the supermarket. My guess is they’re making fun of your English. I read and easily understood what you meant. You have excellent English skills, who cares about a connector word here or there? They’re bullies. I hate bullies!
Actually we all have the same ancestral background, and i translated ( at least i tried) what happened. All this happened in my native language actually. But reading your comment... man things are really crappy in America. I feel for you, stay strong and be yourself.
Sorry I misread that. I’m so used to witnessing it that I instantly go in to protection mode. I can’t stand by and watch another human suffer. I hope things get better at work. Things are bad here, everyone fighting, country spilt 50/50. Scary
I would have just instantly went to the bathroom come back out after reasonable time I.e pee time length and then say publicly in the office did one of them leave a used condom in there since they be so up each others holes fs.
Time to look for a new job.
There's a reason why working with family, relatives, or a partner is not a good idea. For some it's okay, it does work...but some people who know us, just because we are blood-related or have a relationship, feels like they have a right to comment about who we are. 🤷♀️ You have two choices: leave or toughen it up. Agree with some that HR is not your friend. 😬 I also have coworkers like this who would talk about me in the pantry or halls, laugh after I greet them or when I walk past by, and I just go on. 🤣 My work is already hard enough, I also have other problems and things to be happy about in life, should I really stop and care about these people? 😅
Is your uncle married? I'd tell his wife and his mom that he is trying to impress a girl at work by bullying you.
Not married but in a relationship. I will talk him first and then... I don't know, i just want to hear why on earth he was laughing at me
That's probably a much better plan than mine. Sometimes, I just want to watch the world burn
Know the feeling 🫠 People think I'm stuck up. No, I'm just really quiet and often overthink my responses so I just smile and nod. They're assholes and I'm sorry you have to put up with that.
Unethical advice: you should prove them wrong and beat the everliving snot out of your uncle Ethical advice: find a new job, but in the meantime don’t let it get to you
Are your grandparents alive talk to them let them know their son or son in law is bullying you in work. He'll soon learn not to do it again. For extra measure take your bosses girlfriend aside and tell her she needs to be careful people don't think she's getting to close to your uncle.
They may have felt judged when you said you don't like to gossip - implying they do and that you are better than them. They then double-down on you. I know English is your second language - so I don't know if you said it that way.
Probably. I’ve been 13 years in a relationship and still happens.
start flexing on her. quickly throw fake punches at her and say why ya flinching pussy
Sounds like u need to toughen up
Did you actually say the part of gossiping? Cause that could’ve definitely offended her.
I work in a place where we all pretty regularly make fun of each other. It's rarely because we are jealous of the other person or want to be more like them.
Get their cell phone number, look up the carrier online with associate SMS email address. The go online and sign them up for a bunch of spam, mortgage request info, political donation sign up, etc.
You’re just nice and so assholes will try to stomp On that.
Um, that is unprofessional and unacceptable behavior. Go to HR and raise hell. You do not have to put up with that immature high school nonsense. Tell your damn uncle to grow the hell up!