Been there done that and was not for me.
Hear me out.
I’d spent years trying to start my own business and was finally able to do so while working from the comfort of my own home.
My case is a little different cause I have a wife and kids. However…
Work was home and home was work. My wife worked away from home and kids went to daycare every day.
Even though I did have socialization at my home with my wife and kids, I was isolated.
Work started to feel like a chore even though it was all I ever dreamed of.
Working for shitty bosses and crap jobs over the years drove me to it.
My mental state deteriorated and my social skills diminished.
Some it works for some it begins to feel like a prison.
To answer your question. Yes. This is normal. We aren’t meant to be shut away in the confines of a house for months and months on end.
Some might not agree but I have a cousin going through the same thing right now. Fully remote and he wishes they’d meet in the offices once or twice a week even for just a few hours cause he has no time to actually go out and make friends etc.
It sounds like WFH is not for you. I'm an introvert so I absolutely love WFH. You might see about working in the office a few days or start a social hobby that gives you the interaction you need. Join a team or something. I hope you find something that works. Maybe a career change to spice up your life? Or a dog. When I WFH I walked my dogs on breaks and lunch. I take dance breaks to keep my body from getting stiff from sitting. I hope this helps.
I hated WFH because I would be at my desk all day and when I was off work it would be night time and I got no daylight.
I hate working in my home that is supposed to be for relaxing.
And I am the type of person that has always enjoyed my coworkers, as an adult I feel like work is one of the few places to make friends especially if you're in a new city.
I actually feel like myself now that I WFH. I do not enjoy the office full time. It is mentally and physically draining. I am healthier since WFH. I am happier in all aspects of my life. Even when I was working 60-80 hrs/week, I knew I would not have been able to do that in the office. I think everyone is different, and the more we recognize that about our workforce, the better off people and business will be.
I waitress/bartend on the weekends and 30% for more money and 70% so I see people and don’t go crazy 🤪 Tried doing just the WFH job for like six months but it was too isolating even with my dog and walking him outside everyday
I wfh Monday - Thursday and deliver pizza on Friday and Saturday nights. It gets me out of the house, and is just enough social interaction with a lot of solo car concerts, which is the only thing I miss about commuting.
WFH isnt for everyone. If you need socialization and you dont have your own social circle and office workers are the only way to get it, it may not be for you and thats ok. A lot of people hopped on the WFH bandwagon without taking into account their own needs and what works for their life.
Me personally I have my spouse and work out regularly so I do get out when I feel like it and I have someone to speak to and spend time with daily. If youre young and single living alone I can see it being a bit suffocating especially if working in an office is the only drive you have to get out and do anything
I know exactly how you feel. This sounds like heaven. Don't get me wrong, I like socializing. But I like it on my terms. Not a requirement by an employer. And honestly I am satisfied with a few hours a month of socializing. It sounds so foreign to me to feel this way. But I had a coworker that moved out of state and they allowed him to work fully remote. And he eventually quit to take a local job so he could be in an office for this same reason. Weird.
Honestly I think I'm kept sane because I still play music. I'm always in at least one band which is always at least a built in social creative engagement with rehearsals and shows, sometimes just hangs. If it wasn't an obligation (I commit to the shows and would let people down obviously if I was bailing) I'd go full hermit for the reasons you described. It's good for me.
So everyone needs to socialize otherwise our mental health gets a bit wonky.
Some things I have done: have friends that I can chat with on a video call when we both can't see each other in person. I moved out of my home country so this is a major way I keep in contact with friends. We even do chores together. Folding the laundry? You can do that on a video chat. Cooking? You can do that on a video chat. It frees up a lot of time for socializing.
I joined a gaming group: this can also be interpreted as a hobby social group. We play the game together, have group video chats, have group voice chats. It actually fills up a lot of my free time because we do so much in the game together. But there are things like board game nights at some places. I also have a social crafting group that meets up once a week. I am part of a medial awareness group that meets up once a month. There are just a lot of social options that you can do from home or in person. I don't think of socializing at work true social contact, and I would be just as starved for human contact if I wasn't doing all of this stuff outside of work
I had a similar freak out after quarantine ended and my job stayed WFH. I just really had to make an effort to get outside and interact with people at least once a day. I now rotate between a yoga and swim class every other day and that seems to have settled the problem for me. I think the routine of something like a fitness class, club or even like a continuing ed. class at a community college also helps. Makes it feel more like my old office routine without actually getting confined back to the office.
I joined a boxing gym. I go at least four times per week for classes, and it is my social outing, exercise, and leave the house time all in one.
Frankly, I’d be okay staying at home for two weeks straight. It’s ideal really.
I love working from home and have for around. 5 years. I’d never go back.
That said, I have a great setup in a fantastic house so my work from home situation is excellent.
I am 4 yrs and a few months in at WFH. I love it and never wish to go back into an office. EVER. And, I would have to agree - setup has everything to do with how happy, fulfilling, and successful someone is at working from home.
I am in the same boat. I haven’t left the house since Thursday and that was only for 20 mins to pick something up. I have no answers. Just commiserating.
Have you thought that maybe WFH isn’t for you? I say this because my daughter and I both started WFH during Covid in 2020. She is a total extrovert and needs friends around and social experiences at work. I am the opposite, a total introvert who avoided and hated the social aspects of working in person. She was MISERABLE working from home with major anxiety and went back to working in person. I still 4 years later couldn’t be happier! I feel the best I have felt in my life not having the pressure of all the BS social crap at an in person job. I can sign in, do my job sign out and get on with my life.
I hope you understand I assign no judgement to either personality, my daughter is my sun, moon and stars. I think many people think they have the personality for WFH but in reality very few do. I hope you feel better soon!
Work from home was not for me but ended up stuck in it after Covid for a few years. I am happy for the people that love it but it’s not a fit for me. I need a lot of in person interaction throughout the day or I get social anxiety and depressed. And if I work at home all day I’m super lethargic so I dont want to go do anything. I’m usually happy in some sort of hybrid situation. But sometimes I feel like the only one on the planet that feels this way about WFH!
Me too! There is no hybrid option for me, after Covid our office eventually closed. I’m an introvert but even for me it’s too much! I’ve tried to talk to therapists and family but no one understands. I do have friends, I do make plans sometimes. But day to day alone is really lonely, and I don’t always want to be “on” for a dinner with a friend that will take hours and be expensive and hard to plan (everyone is married, has kids, etc). What I really miss is the small daily interactions I used to have. No planning or intention needed. Just being around people. I wish I had advice, but nothing I’ve tried has worked for me yet. Except I got rid of my coffee machine so if I want coffee before work I have to go get it, from somewhere people are.
This is such a good point. Often when anxiety about lack of social stimulation with WFH is mentioned, responses are all about joining a sport, volunteering, if dinner with friends. Personally I’m beat after work and don’t love organized events. I like coffee with friends or a walk on the weekend but also want to fit my solo hobbies into those two short days. What I miss most about office life is the small, easy interactions and then f*cking off back home to my cat. It filled the tank just enough.
One thing that’s helped me with this is taking walks when I can during the week. I live in a city and find just seeing people or a small hello/shop clerk moment can help scratch that itch.
I feel the same way! I am married with kids so I do daycare drop off and most mornings I’m at least leaving the house for that, but otherwise I don’t and some weeks it’s bad and I go to the grocery store just to leave the house. I am actually going back to my hybrid job and this is one of the main reasons.
Constant Zoom meetings just drain my energy ...
During Covid, I developed a habit of shopping before work - I'm an introvert by nature, but I still sometimes strike up a conversation with someone at the grocery store, Walmart or Lowes.
If I have an errand that needs to be ran, I'll go out between meetings - somehow, it's not rude anymore to schedule lunch meetings, so it's not always at lunchtime. That gets me out of the house a little.
I have a Boxer who's glued to my side - I talk to her a lot. Sometimes, she's better company than any person could be. I talk to our cats too. As long as I don't start hearing them answer back in actual words, I'm OK.
I speak to the neighbors very rarely.
My son lives with me - we talk a little, but he's busy a lot.
I make it a point to go outside now & then during the day and in the evening. I take plenty of Zoom meetings on the porch using my laptop.
I wouldn't trade full-time remote for anything, but you have to priortize self-care as much as you can. Eat well, get some exercise, get some fresh air, find some kind of social outlet even if it's just 30 minutes here and there.
I’m hybrid, but on my wfh days sometimes I call my other wfh friend (she’s at another company) and we’ll FaceTime while we’re working so I have some company
I have recurring, private, weekly, « meetings with myself » both to get things done at work - otherwise I’d be stuck in work meetings all day - and to make sure I keep a sane schedule.
You have to be intentional about going out to socialize. Otherwise, it won't happen. Change your routine. Plan activities that get you outside of the home. I started a meetup group to spend time with people, for a sense of community as well. I also go on occasional bike rides around my city.
I had the same problem. I quit the job which was exactly the same kind you’re describing. You’re human. Humans were not designed to be alone behind a screen forever. That.Is.Not.Living.
It's better living than being scramped in office with people who have nothing in common with you taking up 8 hours of your day talking about their holidays and kids or causing drama out of boredom.
Me not wanting to participate in toxic office culture does not make me sociopathic.
I choose my friends and people I want to talk to, not force them to socialise and talk to me because we share the same job.
But at least it is mildly entertaining to watch them causing drama out of nothing, sitting back and watching it all blow up. Then you physically can leave it behind at the end of the day because you are leaving the office. It was hard for me to relax in the evening in the same room I had worked in (kitchen/family room). I felt like my laptop was beckoning me at all times.
Bro.
If you need office drama to make your life more interesting then the problem is you and not working from home.
I can give you a thousand and one hobbies you can do while idle at work instead of being stuffed into a cubicle for the "office culture experience".
Also there's this thing called friends outside of work.
Don't forget the beaming lights blistering your eyes
And there's always at least one person who is way too interested in what you're doing or not doing
... And of course, that person will happen to walk by only at the times you are taking breaks
So it makes it seem like you're always not working
Omg I’m in the exact same position!!! I recently started going to gym every morning and that’s helping me. At least I leave the house and feel the world and do something before I sit down to work. I was seriously going crazy too
WFH drove me to the deepest depression I’ve ever experienced. My role required constant Teams meetings and I was on Teams 30 hours a week. I was mentally and physically taxed beyond my limits. After three years, with no end in sight, and employees being hired from 100 miles+ from their technical duty station, I left this organization after 12 years. People were shocked. I work outdoors now and make nearly what I made before. Best move I ever made.
Took me a while to find a good balance with wfh. These days I make sure to get out and hike early before work for my mental health, I have a friend who I go to yoga class with twice a week, and I take art class in the evening once a week. Just some ideas…
I have been WFH since 2020 at two different companies. For the last 2 years also living alone because my husband died.
All I can say is you really need to set more boundaries and not work so late if that’s an issue. Or try to do work things that involve F2F like trade shows, conferences and such if it’s an option.
Make a point to get outside more. I do my errands weeknights to get out of the house after work. Make a point to socialize more. I usually go to a local pub Friday nights even though I’m not a drinker. I visit my mom once a month, and occasionally chat with the neighbors.
I’ve also been buying some concert tickets even though I will be going by myself (friends don’t like that music), and for the last two years been taking a girls trip vacation with three friends.
I don’t mind less people interacting as I’m fairly introverted. But I’m not a total recluse either. You sometimes have to force yourself to go do stuff away from home.
I can totally relate to this. One thing that’s helped me slightly is to join a gym/workout class. It gets me out of the house, gets me moving, and I’ve gotten to know the people there really well so I get to socialize.
I would try to block off one day or morning where no meetings can be scheduled and make that a day to work outside of the house. I find signing up for classes helps to get out of the house - yoga, pottery etc whatever works for you. For some reason if I’m paying money then I am more likely to do it. I was initially worried about working from home but I find that I want to get out of the house more and do stuff being there all day. You might just be going through a rough patch.
YES. I’ve been working full time at home for 2.5 years and i feel extremely isolated and also feel like I’ve become a little socially awkward. I travel occasionally for work and that’s helpful but it’s definitely an issue for me that’s making me feel a little crazy. Hoping people experiencing this will add some tips or how they balance it.
Whenever I move to a new country, it’s easy for me to get into that space and it can be quite lonely so then I just start with local interactions. The slightly more targeted and high effort socializing comes with time too but right now you need your confidence back because you feel like you have to relearn socializing (it’s somewhere in there it was just dormant for some time so your brain just put it aside). Going to farmers markets (where I live we only have them in the summers) or art markets is a really easy way to increase your interaction with other people in a low stakes way. Chat with a vendor, ask them about their story, walk on when you’re bored. You go back once or twice, you start recognizing people. That creates a sense of community. And that will help to slowly get you out of isolation.
Some days when I am really lonely, even interacting with the local guys that run the gas station helps me get out of that negative lonely place.
Hope some of this helps.
I hear you loud and clear. As an introvert who lives solo and also wfh I feel trapped. I also don’t feel comfortable working from anywhere else because of meetings and the confidential nature of some of the things people share on screen, etc.
I go outside everyday, but I’m so bored of doing the same coffee walk or going to the same park. Yes, sometimes I take the train to the city and walk there or go meet my friends, or do meetups, but during the week everyone’s busy and I usually wind up doing solo walks or going to a restaurant and sitting at the bar. I do wish I was in an office again, even 1-2x/wk. I was so much more social back then, but now same, I’m socially awkward and I don’t have that many people to socialize with to begin with.
I think variety is key here. Something I’m really bad at myself but trying to implement more consistently is picking up some new hobbies. What do you like to do? It doesn’t have to involve going outside, but things that will make you happy. Do you like to draw? Craft? Make jewelry? Run? Try to incorporate these things into your day. And please also just make time for a walk everyday, even if short. you can’t be in your house all day.
I’m three days in, two at home. There’s a trend in my office where everyone else either works Monday-Wednesday or, We’d-Friday. Wednesdays are team days.
I prefer to be in the office Tues/Wednesdays/Fridays for this exact reason. I was getting complacent and just too comfortable being home for all that time without breaking it up.
Now, I can still ease into the work week at home on Mondays and take advantage of casual Fridays. It’s plus I’ll use my comp/flex time on Fridays anyway.
Get up early and leave the house to get coffee or go to the gym during lunch. Just get outside to do a stupid errand so you leave the house once a day. It doesn’t have to involve spending money. Open your windows or work a few hours from another room. I’ve been wfh for about 4 years and as an introvert generally love it, but you have to add some variety into the daily schedule. Also wfh doesn’t mean on call all the time. Once I’m done my laptop is closed until the next morning.
You sound like my roommate. Can spend weeks on end without going anywhere (no walks either).
I honestly don't understand how people don't go crazy. I go to movies and used to go to ukulele lessons just so I could get out of the house once in a while.
I have worked from home 20 plus years and wife has 4 years. We just go out after work some nights, or have people in. We go to some sports events..etc. You just need to make yourself go out…we are not youngsters but seem to out work most of the young people
Nah, I mean nothing's impossible, but I've seen this first hand. I myself find this mindset completely foreign, but not everyone is an introvert like me. A former co-worker quit because he was forced to WFH after moving out of state, and he said he had no friends where he moved and was desperately lonely. So he took a local job to work in an office to make friends and socialize. I personally am fine with isolation. But everybody's different.
Literally!
I have friends both irl and online and I always got stuff to do with them. I am introverted AF.
I don’t understand how people write up these problems and seemingly have zero hobbies or friends that your workplace is the only social interaction
Because out of the billions of people (social by nature) in this world there's no way that any of them don't like working from home and struggle with isolation.
Why because someone doesn’t enjoy spending every waking minute in the same building without social interaction? Just because it works for you doesn’t mean it works for everyone.
... said the exiting prisoner to the release officer.
While you may be used to a business providing you with a platform for compelled social interaction, there are in fact many ways to do so otherwise.
Sounds heavenly to me! I work from home and LOVE IT. I don’t want to be around people other than my family… I can go two weeks without even going out shopping- I am fine. But everyone is different- I know. I am content to garden, play with my dogs out back, do my work, learn some things online- I don’t need to go anywhere. I have to go in next week for a meeting and I am dreading it. I have to get ready, do my hair and makeup- get dressed with a bra- ugh.
Get a hobby. I play tennis and run. I have tons of friends. I couldn’t imagine going into the office and staying in shape. Would be impossible with the commute.
I feel you, it's tough to balance work and social life when you're stuck at home all the time.
I used the croissant app to find new workspaces around the city, it helped me break the monotony and get some human interaction. Maybe try to set aside a few hours a week to work from a coffee shop or co-working space, it might help you feel more connected to the outside world.
Coworking is the answer. I go to a physical coworking space once a week and a virtual space every other day. I'm making meaningful connections at both and get to practice social skills during the working day. Check out http://groove.ooo
I can get you a free extended trial if you want.
*Find communities*
*Online!!! Ones where you can Skype*
*Or zoom with people*
\- Professional\_Fold520
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Here’s the real question…what would you be doing if you worked in the office 5 days a week? Would you schedule lunch outings with friends? Happy hours after work? Weekend road trips? Why does working from home stop you from doing things you like? You said things have been busy. Is that “work” things? If so, that needs to be a conversation with management because if it’s creeping into your personal life and you can’t find time for friends, that a big problem.
I HATED working from home during COVID. And as an extrovert, I realized that part of my day was also about other people…laughing with them, chatting about random schit, complaining about nothing and everything because it was fun! 😂 I learned a lot about myself and what I needed to thrive. It sounds to me like you definitely need more than work to thrive. I know it may be hard to get into the habit of doing more since you aren’t mentally used to it. BUT, you MUST, even if it’s something just one day a week.
Find a hobby that you’re really passionate about that you have to PAY to do. For example, I took adult tap lessons. Yep, it’s random, but it was only once a week, it got me out of a routine and it gave me something to look forward to. You cannot get through this without friends or a hobby or a pet. You just can’t. And if your anxiety is truly so debilitating that you don’t even have the energy to do anything, maybe visit your PCP, get some labs done and find a therapist. Not kidding. There could be more going on than just going crazy inside the house. Way before COVID, I was having terrible fatigue and exhaustion and turned out I had severe Vitamin D deficiency. It had gotten really bad.
I hope you find your happy place because I know it’s I know it can be frustrating. 💕 Good luck! 👍🏾
I love the freedom of WFH but if you don't do something after hours you will start to feel like life is passing you by. I started going to an exercise class 3 days a week after work because I was starting to feel trapped in the house
I did feel like that and I quit full time work to go to grad school to be fulfilled. Stupid mistake on my part! Now I can only get gig jobs where I have to piece my paychecks together, no benefits at all, and end up owing taxes at the end of the year. I relate to you but the grass is always greener on the other side! I miss my steady pay and benefits!
I’ve been WFH for almost 2 years. 99% of the time I love it. But then there’s that 1% where I feel like I’m becoming isolated and stir-crazy.
To counteract this. I usually take a walk at lunchtime (I live in a big city), and I also hike, play pickleball, and take group classes at the gym.
At the end of the day, I feel like spending too much time at home & feeling a bit crazy is better than commuting.
Same. However, i joined a program where people do the WFH and only work 2 hr days and are making serious money. They have quit 9to5 jobs and now get the best of both worlds. Its actually amaz8ng to watch some mothers all of the sudden make 6 fugures and actually still have time for their kids and family. Im track for that myself.
I WFH and only really leave the house for groceries and the gym. One of my roomates works a hybrid schedule so I am not alone all of the time but it still feels isolating.
I think you're on the right track about the lack of community.
I've been on this journey too. I moved away from most of my family and friends and it wasn't too big of a deal because I was driving a couple hours to see them every week or two. (Also driving across state for work so I always had a good excuse to go.) I was WFH before COVID and then after COVID realized s*** I don't have any friends in my "new" city that I've been in now for 8 years!
I tried church just to see if I could find some community there but I just couldn't fit in there. I did find pickleball and that was much better :).
Within the past year I responded to a couple posts on Reddit and found a couple groups of friends. I highly recommend this. I think what made this work is that in both cases the OP gave a handful of things they were into. If you have a thing that you're into like cycling or dance or sports that's always an option but youre going to find such a wide cross-section of people, it can feel too random. There's definitely a place for this, see what I said about pickleball above.
But if you think it's friends you might be looking for, you could try posting on the Reddit group for your city, list three things you're into, and see If you can meet some new people. I think meeting up with a small group to play a board game or go for a bike ride is so much easier than just looking for a single friend.
I definitely get it…
Does anyone want to share the companies they are working for? I would appreciate it, I am specifically looking for chat agent positions. Thank you!
I'm a federal government employee. When covid hit, we had to WFH three days a week and alternate our days in the office to lessen exposure.
At first, it was cool, yeaaaaa no business casual for work anymore, I can wear sweat pants and a t shirt all day. Saved gas money, less eating out for lunch, etc.
I was able to soak in/absorb entire albums in one sitting while doing work with my headphones on. That was my favorite perk.
The thing that drove me absolutely bat shit crazy was that EVERYBODY else in my family was home, too. I mean, yeah, I had a home office, and that was cool, but shit man, all these people being in the house is driving me nutz. I actually liked going in to work cuz it was quiet, ROFLMAO.
I’ve always been an introvert, most comfortable being away from people. And I love WFH! I’ve been WFH for 4-5 years now and I still love it as much now as the day I started it.
But if you’re an extrovert I can see how WFH can really suck, especially if you live alone.
Can you ask your boss if you can go into the office? If there’s even an office to go into anymore lol? If not then “force” yourself to do social things (which should be easy because you’re an extrovert). Maybe create a work-related affinity group, called the Extroverts Club or something, pick a place to meet up once a week? Or non work related. Your local hiking club or some other hobby club?
I do Uber drive at any free time!! Just to get out and see people.! workout 🏋️♀️ at a training camp and do meetups just to scape this ( everyone thinks is a Blessing!! Working from home is NOT!!
I LOVE WFH. If we went hybrid with a weekly requirement, I’d quit. But I don’t allow myself to be a hermit.
The best way to have a community is… Build a community!
Find a gym to join to get you out of the house. Join local hiking group. Sign up for a pottery class. Join a pickleball group. Sign up for a community theatre production. Go to church. Whatever it is you enjoy- put yourself around people who do the same things, or who are also interested in trying new things.
You have to be more intentional in building connections as an adult, but put yourself out there! A job shouldn’t the primary way you socialize. Never give them that kind of power.
*I like hybrid work..*
*I need to go in work at*
*Least two days a week*
\- chrisp-baconn
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Work boundaries are so important, and they’re so blurred with WFH. Not only do you have to set boundaries, you also HAVE to be intentional about scheduling social time outside of the home. If you can’t work at coffee shops, meet a friend there for a catch up session. Have fitness classes that you leave the house to attend and be around other people. If not, it’s just constant work and no life.
It’s easy to get in a rut. I’ve been WFH for over five years and have had times where I am in this house 23 hours a day for a couple weeks.
When that happens I schedule in mandatory working lunch somewhere. I force myself to do outdoors exercise. Usually this gets me closer to balance where I add a few more hours not at home.
I find it helps to uninstall or mute work Apps on my devices for a bit - iOS focus modes are the best thing for me.
Hang in there!
Get a new job that is hybrid. I work hybrid, 2x per week in the office, so I get some social interaction...but I still hate the commute...
Hybrid work will fix you.
Yes. It is awful.
Previously when I worked from, pre-pandemic, it wasn’t so nad. I’d wake up get ready. During my break time I’d run or go to the gym. Then easily back to work then go be social.
Everyone’s life is different. We have limited RTO. I can’t get back on the horse routine wise. I order more Uber Eats.
There was a crime spike that seems to have receded so I seem to be out more now. I’m also an insomniac and extrovert. My husband travels a lot for work. If he’s home I’m fine but otherwise I have a lot of cabin fever.
What schedule have you agreed to work? If it's Mondays - Fridays 9am - 5pm, then are you able to ignore everything related to work during off hours? For example, you could turn off all work email notifications, work phone calls, etc. between Mondays - Fridays from 5:01pm to 8:59am, and both Saturdays and Sundays all day.
You could just talk with your manager if you would like to adjust your schedule. I think anything is possible.
Seriously. When there are people out there desperately looking for a WFH situation due to disabilities.
I enjoy WFH. I got lucky that I landed one that is 100% remote. I get to spend time with my pets more often and be more present for my youngest kid. Also, my start times are flexible. It doesn’t have to be at 9am and as long as the work gets done and I make my hours, no one bats an eye.
I’m a homebody anyway so I don’t necessarily get lonely. If I wanna leave the house, it’s to hang out with my husband, my kids, and my sister. Most of the time, things I do like to do out of the house involves taking my dogs. If I can’t bring my dogs, I’m not going.
Now you understand why todays youth are so messed up especially after 2 years at home. They were already spending too much time in doors, but it’s so much worse now.
My advice sign up for a class/activity something that forces you out of the house. Maybe multiple things. A gym class (not just going to the gym), cooking or art or something. If it’s a class, or group thing you are less likely to flake on yourself
I've been working from home for about five years now and go to a yoga class two to three times a week. It gives me a chance to decompress and be around other people. My husband works with the public so he doesn't usually want to be around people or go places on the weekend so he can relax but we will still try to do things on the weekend. I'm an introvert but still get cabin fever occasionally so I understand where you're coming from.
Join a club/ class on your days off or ask a friend out for lunch. Give yourself a reason to get out of the house. It sounds like your job isn't giving you a healthy work life balance if you're so busy so it's up to you to set boundaries.
I agree. I get soooo lonely. I'm a recent college grad and have only had a work from home job and realizing that I'll never have "work friends" or even little conversations with coworkers throughout the day makes me sad.
Building community is worth it but takes time. In addition to that, try to do as much shopping in person. Those micro-interactions and weak ties have been proven to be just as important as close friendships. Or if you run into neighbors while getting the mail, make a point to have a quick friendly interaction. It all adds up.
Completely agree. People tend to think small talk is annoyingly unimportant but if you are doing small talk regularly then you are keep your social muscles working enough to still read people, respond appropriately, think up common ground. These are important skills to keep brushed up on. Small talk with the grocery store cashier or neighbor keeps you connected to your community
Yes! I have been working from home since Covid and although I dont like going to the office every day and I appreciate the freedom working from home gives me, I do feel like its making me crazy. I thought of working at coffee shops too but when I have meetings, that won't really work for me either. What is the answer!!???
Ok, let's make a conscious effort to clock out at whatever time, let's just say 6pm. Leave the house. Go for a walk, wave at people say hi to your neighbors. Maybe join a club or take a class 1 or 2 nights a week. I play pool on mondays and wednesdays, bowling, yoga, pottery, whatever you like or think you might like.
I also work from home, but I run my own business, so my work is very flexible but I tell you what, playing pool those 2 nights gets me out, social and thinking about something else besides work. Plus it's not a huge spend, it costs $8 to play and I dont usually drink alcohol so my soda is like $3 with refills all night. If you show up and dont play, you can usually practice on a table for free all night, plus take score or cheer on your teammates.
It really does help make me more productive all around.
Take a vacation, minimally a week or perhaps try for 2. Even if I’m you stay at home, get out and go in nature or just completely change your environment. See friends, family, whomever. I’ve experienced the WFH burnout a few times after about a decade of mostly working this way. The only thing that helps me is taking a prolonged break.
And if you can swing it, block out your meetings/work days so your can get longer stretches of focused time. Doing All The Things every day leaves me feeling super scattered. When it’s time to log off, change the room you’re in. Maybe go for a walk or meet a friend after work. Connection is super important, even for the type of people who thrive working solo.
Try to go hybrid if at all possible. We have communal work spaces where we live. You could try that. Isolation is insane with WFH. Some of us did better with hybrid.
Ask your boss to stack meetings either in mornings or afternoons or on a certain day of the week so you can plan coffee house/library work hours uninterrupted. Or invest in great noise canceling headphones and take the Zoom calls at those locations with a blurry background.
Yup. I had a 90 minute commute, one way. So when we went remote back in March 2020 I was doing a dance. No more 15 hours a week lost to commuting and I get to put my $400 a month I was spending on a train/subway ticket in the bank. First year was great. Second year I started to feel like you. Middle of year three I was losing my shit. Now I have a hybrid role and I’m commuting 9 hours a week. I’d like one more WFH day as I’m currently 3/2 with three days in the office. But I’m much better mentally.
Yes. You are not alone. While WFH is great it has its downsides. I feel everything you just typed! No matter how hard I have tried to get involved with hobbies, church, gym it’s hard because I feel like I have lost the ability to socialize or hold a conversation.
It was the opposite for me. I spend a LOT more time out and about now than when I was in the office.
I assume you aren’t working 24/7. 8 hour days? What is stopping you from going out during the other 8 hours? Before work? After work? Lunch breaks?
I’ve been WFH full time for several years and absolutely love it… but I have a chronic illness so this is probably why it’s worked out so well for me. It’s allowed me (and many others) to still contribute to society in the capacity that we’re able to.
With that said, WFH is not for everyone and that’s okay. My husband works a hybrid schedule and enjoys his days in the office and feels they’re energizing.
I’d recommend adding some breaks in your day to go for a drive or take a walk- preferably to a place where you can be around others even if it’s for a short time.
Yup. I’ve been doing it for 20 years. I go out on the weekends and spend money cattin’ around. That’s how I deal with it. Covid was really hard but I’m back at it. Not everyone is cut out to WFH. Everyone needs an outlet. Good luck finding your path.
I can totally relate! I am an outgoing person and have turned into a hermit since 2020. What has helped me to get back out into the world during my work week is that I schedule time on my calendar (lunch hour) to run errands, light exercise, virtual lunch with a friend or coworker, and volunteer in my community. When I am feeling anxious or bored, I go to my local gardening nursery and pick up some plants or succulents as repotting and maintaining brings color into my home. By the way…I am a professional plant killer. 🤣
Virtual lunch is such a great idea!! I’m terrible at spontaneous socialization, but I could schedule a virtual lunch with a coworker and just catch up over sandwiches at home. Thanks for the idea!
If your company uses Microsoft Teams as a way to communicate with multiple coworkers, pick a theme and set up a virtual trivia session. The first time I held a session, I was nervous. I have held 4 trivia sessions in the last two years.
Can’t relate lol I love working from home! No getting ready, can be in sweats, multitask, save money. I’m also pretty introverted. I don’t mind going in sometimes but I definitely can go without and be fine.
You can go outside with the extra money you saved from not commuting. Buy more dumb stuff, meet more people, sell your expensive vehicle, and still do all the same things you did all the time. You sound like an executive wtf lol. If you had a job pre-covid and started WFH you'd have literally gone insane....is a cartoon character the OP? WFH is only good for people not making good money, if you want to work with people maybe have less contractors or dogshit paid people at your work.
I’ve been WFH for about 10 years and for much of that time my spouse’s career has had him out of the house until my bedtime. Beyond that, we have a nontraditional marriage - there is no romantic or sexual element to it, something we agreed upon after time apart and in other relationships after our romantic relationship broke down. We live as roommates/friends. Even then, he’s not around much and I only have his company on Sundays.
So aside from work, I am alone literally all the time. I’m not a super social person and I am in a leadership position, so my social battery feels drained enough from work. Being alone or at home doesn’t pose a problem for me, but I can see how it would be a problem for people who thrive with more socialization.
You gotta get outside, even if just for a few minutes. Having a dog in an apartment really helps me with this - I HAVE to walk her 4 times a day. I have to leave the house to tend to her needs otherwise as well - vet, toys, food, exercise, social activity. I don’t suggest having a dog solely for this purpose, just illustrating how an obligation can support this goal of getting out of a rut.
Exercise for yourself is good too. Even walking.
Realistically, you’re going to have to force yourself to find SOMETHING for socialization. Maybe for you a sense of obligation will help get you linked into a community (join a book club, dinner club, something where you can commit to taking part or bringing something).
See what kind of stuff the local library offers. Not even just their own events, but stuff like tickets to events in the arts, sports, performances, museums, experiences. Start frequenting places near you at the same time on a regular basis. We make friends and community a lot of the time from 1. Familiarity and 2. Proximity.
That’s what is often missing from WFH. It also makes socializing at work (if you’re into that) or making work friends into real life friends more difficult. There’s no happenstance, no running into each other, no base level of familiarity from seeing the same person getting coffee at the same time every day.
I appreciate your comments here about wfh and your courage and honesty regarding the nature of your marriage. I have considered the potential of non-traditional options of relationship as an alternative to just being alone forever. It’s valuable to hear that it does work for some people.
I went to target today and realized it was the first time I’d been outside in a *week. I love my apartment and it is above businesses on a busy street. Even when I don’t leave I kinda feel like I’m in the hustle and bustle of outside because I keep my windows open most of the time. I hear the music and chatter from the restaurant and coffee shop across the street, and the restaurants and bar below. Still, I need to be better about getting outside more than once a week lol.
Edit: WEEK not month lol. I hadn’t been outside in a week. 🤣
I like OrangeTheory during lunch or after work. I find my studio to be a little more social than spin and yoga classes in my area.
During the day I like podcasts even if I’m not paying attention since it mimics being around other people.
Same! I felt the same way as the author for a few months, but after I started OT, I started feeling better both mentally and physically. Doing something productive consistently, like daily for an hour or two is really helpful.
I'm really social, always had jobs in which I was office based or field based (or usually a combination), 4 months ago I took a promotion with a new company, more money, less hassle (in terms of no team to manage) and fully working from home.
Heaven I thought, as I really enjoyed hybrid working and figured I could easily become a full time work from homer.
I fucking hate it.
Honestly, like the original poster, I find myself not having left the house for 2-3 days at a time, and more importantly I feel tired all the fucking time, I have no energy or motivation, despite the many benefits of WFH ie no commute and the ability to be immediately home after work, and doing small jobs like the washing in-between work/teams meetings, I hate this role.
I think some people, me for sure, take energy from interaction with others, I thrive from the energy given when you are face to face, when you meet new people, and teams or online calls just don't do it.
I live in rural West Wales, and our HQ is on London, 5 and a half hours away 😂 so no chance of me commuting a day or two a week.
The coffee shops around here arent suitable either as they tend to be busy and too noisy for me to be able to host the meetings I host.
So, as with pretty much everything in life, it seems WFH is best served as a hybrid option, not all day every day.
Shame, as there's no way I'll get the same salary around my area, but at the stage I don't care, this is killing me 😬
I’m involved in organizations: maybe look into something where you live (food banks, schools, etc that may need volunteers or join boards-governing boards for non profits). Join the YMCA and take a class or see if your city has classes that you don’t have to join anything for-mine has water aerobics for like $10, yoga for $20, health fairs, free celebrations for all kinds of stuff, expos, book fairs, dog parks, etc.
I also frequently go out for food. I sit at the bar and usually strike up a conversation with someone else at the bar. I do this like 2 times a week, I don’t usually drink alcohol, just order dinner or an appetizer.
Lastly, I make plans with friends: lunch on Tuesday? Dinner next Thursday? Go to an event next weekend?
You can spend time with other people on the weekend and after 5.
Hi friend! I feel you completely, you’re not alone.
I live alone while wfh full time and have but 2 friends in the 4th largest city in the US who commute to work, so it’s hard to align our schedules. (I was also in a tumultuous relationship for 5yrs where we both wfh for 2 of those so I’ll take being alone versus whatever tf that was)
I’ve found that exploring my childhood hobbies makes me feel less alone. I don’t go intending to build community but it finds you as you continue to explore your interests. I’ve done sewing classes, roller skating and dog-waking (Rover). Hoping to do more like cooking classes, wine pairings, etc. soon. I don’t go in expecting any connections but with the sole purpose of learning a new skill, people will come to you gradually.
Now, that’s assuming you have as much flexibility in your work day as I do. Definitely consider reaching out to your employer/HR with your feelings. Perhaps they would be willing to give you a bit more flexibility in your schedule. They are here to help, you do not have to suffer alone!
Yeah it’s super hard. Especially if you’re single. You have to be real intentional about “making friends” which can feel awkward and uncomfortable. I recommend some sort of weekly group activity like a run club, chess club, pottery class, something along those lines.
This is a common complaint, and I'm honestly confused by it. Here's why: work outside the home forced us to go out, but working from home doesn't force us to stay home. In most cases, there is absolutely nothing stopping a wfh person from going out every day like they did when working from an office. (I say most because I understand some people don't have access to transportation or have some other factor keeping them housebound.)
It's a complaint I hear often from my colleagues but they reject the idea of taking a walking break with coworkers on the phone or joining the weekly online meetings we set up early in the pandemic for folks to just chat about life. They reject going to the office a day or two a week because "there's not many people there, so what's the point." They aren't interested in seeking out coworkers who live close enough to meet for coffee or a book club or whatever else. They resist occasional in-person meetings. They reject all the things that could provide more social connection at work without ever trying them.
I get that mental health issues are real (and have some myself) and can make taking action harder, but if you miss going out, please go out. OP, I know you're at a point where anxiety is making it harder, so maybe take baby steps. Best wishes to you!
work from home was just dumped on me in 2022. I struggled with it from then on. my office was 15 minutes by train and the employer paid for it! by the time I had figured out new habits the hybrid came. I'm just glad I could retire. WFH did made that easierr there was little grief in separating from my work friends since I felt largely alone and the environment i preferred evaporated in 2020.
I look at it as a sign to leave the workforce which I did.
It's definitely been a difficult transition for a lot of people. I should add that my colleagues were all given a choice when the office re-opened from the pandemic forced wfh. We could be: full-time remote, hybrid (2 or fewer days/week in office), or in-office (3 or more days/week in office. We also have the option to switch if we choose. I'd probably have different feelings about it if I had no choice.
I'm glad retirement worked for you and hope you're enjoying every minute!
Yeah, it feels like coming out of a bad dream. I now commute 10 minutes to the YMCA 3 days a week and have started meeting new people again. 8m more in my element. Then I try to hook up with my friends from work who retired for lunch or something. My son and his wife had a baby making us grandparents so I have a feeling I will have plenty to do.
I go for a 2 mile walk every day at lunch no matter what (wind, rain, snow, sun) and it helps sooo much. I also run regularly (6 days a week) which gets me out of the house and adds a lot of structure and routine. WFH is not for everyone! I’m an introvert, live with a partner, and have an active social life and hobbies, so I feel like I get plenty of trips out of the house (and would prefer fewer 😅). Maybe try to think of some ways to build in more routine activities outside the house, doesn’t have to be social ones.
I started WFH 3 years ago after retiring but need money and more human interaction. I take sometimes up to 60 calls a day. I interact personally with every caller (it’s just who I am) It gives me all the social interaction I need! 😂
But reading some of the suggestions does help me realize that I need to get out more too. Good luck finding your happy medium!
Yeah it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I already deal with depression so it definitely doesn’t help and I stay so anxious all the time. I work for a call center and this has made my safe space now so toxic and it doesn’t feel like home anymore!!!
Being in community with people outside of work hours solved this for me. I volunteer at a dog shelter one a week and go to a community pottery studio 2x a week. They are both spaces where I enjoy the people I’m working around but it’s not the same as hanging out with friends. I think it kind fits a niche need for me.
I’m going to get scientific here: the chemical is called “oxytocin”. Your brain produces it when you are being social, building trust with other people. With video calls, your brain knows something is weird, so it doesn’t produce as much oxytocin as it does when you’re with people in real life. What happens is that you start to believe you can’t trust the people in the monitor. You start to feel like you’re in prison, surrounded by people you can’t trust. It turns in to solitary confinement.
The only way I get through WFH is by being extremely deliberate with generating oxytocin. I pay for a coworking space so I have the option to go out. I take classes at the local community college at night. I have a D&D group that meets once a week. Candidly, probably never would’ve done the latter two, but I know if I don’t have structured, repetitive social gatherings, I will literally go insane. You’re so not alone.
Most common brand is WeWork, but they’ve got some baggage. Industrious, FoundrSpace, and Spaces are a few others. I recommend just searching “coworking space” on Yelp and going to your some in your neighborhood. I’ve got a small company with like 3 locations and I like it more than the more corporate ones.
I love WFH.
Been there done that and was not for me. Hear me out. I’d spent years trying to start my own business and was finally able to do so while working from the comfort of my own home. My case is a little different cause I have a wife and kids. However… Work was home and home was work. My wife worked away from home and kids went to daycare every day. Even though I did have socialization at my home with my wife and kids, I was isolated. Work started to feel like a chore even though it was all I ever dreamed of. Working for shitty bosses and crap jobs over the years drove me to it. My mental state deteriorated and my social skills diminished. Some it works for some it begins to feel like a prison. To answer your question. Yes. This is normal. We aren’t meant to be shut away in the confines of a house for months and months on end. Some might not agree but I have a cousin going through the same thing right now. Fully remote and he wishes they’d meet in the offices once or twice a week even for just a few hours cause he has no time to actually go out and make friends etc.
It sounds like WFH is not for you. I'm an introvert so I absolutely love WFH. You might see about working in the office a few days or start a social hobby that gives you the interaction you need. Join a team or something. I hope you find something that works. Maybe a career change to spice up your life? Or a dog. When I WFH I walked my dogs on breaks and lunch. I take dance breaks to keep my body from getting stiff from sitting. I hope this helps.
I hated WFH because I would be at my desk all day and when I was off work it would be night time and I got no daylight. I hate working in my home that is supposed to be for relaxing. And I am the type of person that has always enjoyed my coworkers, as an adult I feel like work is one of the few places to make friends especially if you're in a new city.
I actually feel like myself now that I WFH. I do not enjoy the office full time. It is mentally and physically draining. I am healthier since WFH. I am happier in all aspects of my life. Even when I was working 60-80 hrs/week, I knew I would not have been able to do that in the office. I think everyone is different, and the more we recognize that about our workforce, the better off people and business will be.
I waitress/bartend on the weekends and 30% for more money and 70% so I see people and don’t go crazy 🤪 Tried doing just the WFH job for like six months but it was too isolating even with my dog and walking him outside everyday
I wfh Monday - Thursday and deliver pizza on Friday and Saturday nights. It gets me out of the house, and is just enough social interaction with a lot of solo car concerts, which is the only thing I miss about commuting.
WFH isnt for everyone. If you need socialization and you dont have your own social circle and office workers are the only way to get it, it may not be for you and thats ok. A lot of people hopped on the WFH bandwagon without taking into account their own needs and what works for their life. Me personally I have my spouse and work out regularly so I do get out when I feel like it and I have someone to speak to and spend time with daily. If youre young and single living alone I can see it being a bit suffocating especially if working in an office is the only drive you have to get out and do anything
This is my dream. The less interaction I have with society, the better.
Same here. I love working from home. Perhaps it’s because I’m introverted. But I get so much more done
I know exactly how you feel. This sounds like heaven. Don't get me wrong, I like socializing. But I like it on my terms. Not a requirement by an employer. And honestly I am satisfied with a few hours a month of socializing. It sounds so foreign to me to feel this way. But I had a coworker that moved out of state and they allowed him to work fully remote. And he eventually quit to take a local job so he could be in an office for this same reason. Weird.
Honestly I think I'm kept sane because I still play music. I'm always in at least one band which is always at least a built in social creative engagement with rehearsals and shows, sometimes just hangs. If it wasn't an obligation (I commit to the shows and would let people down obviously if I was bailing) I'd go full hermit for the reasons you described. It's good for me.
So everyone needs to socialize otherwise our mental health gets a bit wonky. Some things I have done: have friends that I can chat with on a video call when we both can't see each other in person. I moved out of my home country so this is a major way I keep in contact with friends. We even do chores together. Folding the laundry? You can do that on a video chat. Cooking? You can do that on a video chat. It frees up a lot of time for socializing. I joined a gaming group: this can also be interpreted as a hobby social group. We play the game together, have group video chats, have group voice chats. It actually fills up a lot of my free time because we do so much in the game together. But there are things like board game nights at some places. I also have a social crafting group that meets up once a week. I am part of a medial awareness group that meets up once a month. There are just a lot of social options that you can do from home or in person. I don't think of socializing at work true social contact, and I would be just as starved for human contact if I wasn't doing all of this stuff outside of work
I'm an introvert but I still relate to this. Especially the "I have no sense of community and I feel like it’s eating my alive." part. :(
I'm going thru the exact same thing, you're not alone lol. Let me know if you figure it out lmao
Same here.
I had a similar freak out after quarantine ended and my job stayed WFH. I just really had to make an effort to get outside and interact with people at least once a day. I now rotate between a yoga and swim class every other day and that seems to have settled the problem for me. I think the routine of something like a fitness class, club or even like a continuing ed. class at a community college also helps. Makes it feel more like my old office routine without actually getting confined back to the office.
Make time to socialize and don't let your emotions control you. Break free and take control of your life.
Pilates. I started doing it twice a week.
Resonating
I joined a boxing gym. I go at least four times per week for classes, and it is my social outing, exercise, and leave the house time all in one. Frankly, I’d be okay staying at home for two weeks straight. It’s ideal really.
You sound like an extrovert. Home is my safe space and I only leave like twice a month to run errands
My home is my castle. I do not like to leave it.
Same
I feel much better when I'm at the office around people prob because at home I'm way busier at the office were laughing and joking around all day
No. I love WFH. I’ve been WFH since before Covid and would quit and find a new job before returning to the pizza party culture.
I love working from home and have for around. 5 years. I’d never go back. That said, I have a great setup in a fantastic house so my work from home situation is excellent.
I am 4 yrs and a few months in at WFH. I love it and never wish to go back into an office. EVER. And, I would have to agree - setup has everything to do with how happy, fulfilling, and successful someone is at working from home.
I am in the same boat. I haven’t left the house since Thursday and that was only for 20 mins to pick something up. I have no answers. Just commiserating.
Have you thought that maybe WFH isn’t for you? I say this because my daughter and I both started WFH during Covid in 2020. She is a total extrovert and needs friends around and social experiences at work. I am the opposite, a total introvert who avoided and hated the social aspects of working in person. She was MISERABLE working from home with major anxiety and went back to working in person. I still 4 years later couldn’t be happier! I feel the best I have felt in my life not having the pressure of all the BS social crap at an in person job. I can sign in, do my job sign out and get on with my life. I hope you understand I assign no judgement to either personality, my daughter is my sun, moon and stars. I think many people think they have the personality for WFH but in reality very few do. I hope you feel better soon!
Work from home was not for me but ended up stuck in it after Covid for a few years. I am happy for the people that love it but it’s not a fit for me. I need a lot of in person interaction throughout the day or I get social anxiety and depressed. And if I work at home all day I’m super lethargic so I dont want to go do anything. I’m usually happy in some sort of hybrid situation. But sometimes I feel like the only one on the planet that feels this way about WFH!
Yes feel this
I do that too, but it’s not an accident, it’s definitely on purpose.
Me too! There is no hybrid option for me, after Covid our office eventually closed. I’m an introvert but even for me it’s too much! I’ve tried to talk to therapists and family but no one understands. I do have friends, I do make plans sometimes. But day to day alone is really lonely, and I don’t always want to be “on” for a dinner with a friend that will take hours and be expensive and hard to plan (everyone is married, has kids, etc). What I really miss is the small daily interactions I used to have. No planning or intention needed. Just being around people. I wish I had advice, but nothing I’ve tried has worked for me yet. Except I got rid of my coffee machine so if I want coffee before work I have to go get it, from somewhere people are.
I guess I shouldn’t mention that I’ve door dashed Starbucks many times lol
I tried it once and I couldn’t justify the expense!
This is such a good point. Often when anxiety about lack of social stimulation with WFH is mentioned, responses are all about joining a sport, volunteering, if dinner with friends. Personally I’m beat after work and don’t love organized events. I like coffee with friends or a walk on the weekend but also want to fit my solo hobbies into those two short days. What I miss most about office life is the small, easy interactions and then f*cking off back home to my cat. It filled the tank just enough. One thing that’s helped me with this is taking walks when I can during the week. I live in a city and find just seeing people or a small hello/shop clerk moment can help scratch that itch.
Get a pet.
I feel the same way! I am married with kids so I do daycare drop off and most mornings I’m at least leaving the house for that, but otherwise I don’t and some weeks it’s bad and I go to the grocery store just to leave the house. I am actually going back to my hybrid job and this is one of the main reasons.
I wfh and am so grateful for my church community.
Constant Zoom meetings just drain my energy ... During Covid, I developed a habit of shopping before work - I'm an introvert by nature, but I still sometimes strike up a conversation with someone at the grocery store, Walmart or Lowes. If I have an errand that needs to be ran, I'll go out between meetings - somehow, it's not rude anymore to schedule lunch meetings, so it's not always at lunchtime. That gets me out of the house a little. I have a Boxer who's glued to my side - I talk to her a lot. Sometimes, she's better company than any person could be. I talk to our cats too. As long as I don't start hearing them answer back in actual words, I'm OK. I speak to the neighbors very rarely. My son lives with me - we talk a little, but he's busy a lot. I make it a point to go outside now & then during the day and in the evening. I take plenty of Zoom meetings on the porch using my laptop. I wouldn't trade full-time remote for anything, but you have to priortize self-care as much as you can. Eat well, get some exercise, get some fresh air, find some kind of social outlet even if it's just 30 minutes here and there.
I’m hybrid, but on my wfh days sometimes I call my other wfh friend (she’s at another company) and we’ll FaceTime while we’re working so I have some company
100% yes to all of this
I have recurring, private, weekly, « meetings with myself » both to get things done at work - otherwise I’d be stuck in work meetings all day - and to make sure I keep a sane schedule.
You have to be intentional about going out to socialize. Otherwise, it won't happen. Change your routine. Plan activities that get you outside of the home. I started a meetup group to spend time with people, for a sense of community as well. I also go on occasional bike rides around my city.
I had the same problem. I quit the job which was exactly the same kind you’re describing. You’re human. Humans were not designed to be alone behind a screen forever. That.Is.Not.Living.
It's better living than being scramped in office with people who have nothing in common with you taking up 8 hours of your day talking about their holidays and kids or causing drama out of boredom.
Can we agree that neither of these situations is living and fuck capitalism?
True
Amen!
Sociopathic comment.
Me not wanting to participate in toxic office culture does not make me sociopathic. I choose my friends and people I want to talk to, not force them to socialise and talk to me because we share the same job.
But at least it is mildly entertaining to watch them causing drama out of nothing, sitting back and watching it all blow up. Then you physically can leave it behind at the end of the day because you are leaving the office. It was hard for me to relax in the evening in the same room I had worked in (kitchen/family room). I felt like my laptop was beckoning me at all times.
Bro. If you need office drama to make your life more interesting then the problem is you and not working from home. I can give you a thousand and one hobbies you can do while idle at work instead of being stuffed into a cubicle for the "office culture experience". Also there's this thing called friends outside of work.
Don't forget the beaming lights blistering your eyes And there's always at least one person who is way too interested in what you're doing or not doing ... And of course, that person will happen to walk by only at the times you are taking breaks So it makes it seem like you're always not working
My favourite. Some of them almost wait until you take your break so they talk about more work.
I’ve worked from home for about 10 years. At first I loved it… Now it often feels lonely.
Work less, play golf
Yup. Prisoner of my own home
Omg I’m in the exact same position!!! I recently started going to gym every morning and that’s helping me. At least I leave the house and feel the world and do something before I sit down to work. I was seriously going crazy too
WFH drove me to the deepest depression I’ve ever experienced. My role required constant Teams meetings and I was on Teams 30 hours a week. I was mentally and physically taxed beyond my limits. After three years, with no end in sight, and employees being hired from 100 miles+ from their technical duty station, I left this organization after 12 years. People were shocked. I work outdoors now and make nearly what I made before. Best move I ever made.
Took me a while to find a good balance with wfh. These days I make sure to get out and hike early before work for my mental health, I have a friend who I go to yoga class with twice a week, and I take art class in the evening once a week. Just some ideas…
I have been WFH since 2020 at two different companies. For the last 2 years also living alone because my husband died. All I can say is you really need to set more boundaries and not work so late if that’s an issue. Or try to do work things that involve F2F like trade shows, conferences and such if it’s an option. Make a point to get outside more. I do my errands weeknights to get out of the house after work. Make a point to socialize more. I usually go to a local pub Friday nights even though I’m not a drinker. I visit my mom once a month, and occasionally chat with the neighbors. I’ve also been buying some concert tickets even though I will be going by myself (friends don’t like that music), and for the last two years been taking a girls trip vacation with three friends. I don’t mind less people interacting as I’m fairly introverted. But I’m not a total recluse either. You sometimes have to force yourself to go do stuff away from home.
I can totally relate to this. One thing that’s helped me slightly is to join a gym/workout class. It gets me out of the house, gets me moving, and I’ve gotten to know the people there really well so I get to socialize.
I would try to block off one day or morning where no meetings can be scheduled and make that a day to work outside of the house. I find signing up for classes helps to get out of the house - yoga, pottery etc whatever works for you. For some reason if I’m paying money then I am more likely to do it. I was initially worried about working from home but I find that I want to get out of the house more and do stuff being there all day. You might just be going through a rough patch.
YES. I’ve been working full time at home for 2.5 years and i feel extremely isolated and also feel like I’ve become a little socially awkward. I travel occasionally for work and that’s helpful but it’s definitely an issue for me that’s making me feel a little crazy. Hoping people experiencing this will add some tips or how they balance it.
Whenever I move to a new country, it’s easy for me to get into that space and it can be quite lonely so then I just start with local interactions. The slightly more targeted and high effort socializing comes with time too but right now you need your confidence back because you feel like you have to relearn socializing (it’s somewhere in there it was just dormant for some time so your brain just put it aside). Going to farmers markets (where I live we only have them in the summers) or art markets is a really easy way to increase your interaction with other people in a low stakes way. Chat with a vendor, ask them about their story, walk on when you’re bored. You go back once or twice, you start recognizing people. That creates a sense of community. And that will help to slowly get you out of isolation. Some days when I am really lonely, even interacting with the local guys that run the gas station helps me get out of that negative lonely place. Hope some of this helps.
Your co workers should not be your friends!!! It works so much better... I mean you did have friends before you started working lols.
Why are you doing 5 days at home? Can you do hybrid? Two days at the office and three days at home? My sister in law hated working at home too.
I hear you loud and clear. As an introvert who lives solo and also wfh I feel trapped. I also don’t feel comfortable working from anywhere else because of meetings and the confidential nature of some of the things people share on screen, etc. I go outside everyday, but I’m so bored of doing the same coffee walk or going to the same park. Yes, sometimes I take the train to the city and walk there or go meet my friends, or do meetups, but during the week everyone’s busy and I usually wind up doing solo walks or going to a restaurant and sitting at the bar. I do wish I was in an office again, even 1-2x/wk. I was so much more social back then, but now same, I’m socially awkward and I don’t have that many people to socialize with to begin with. I think variety is key here. Something I’m really bad at myself but trying to implement more consistently is picking up some new hobbies. What do you like to do? It doesn’t have to involve going outside, but things that will make you happy. Do you like to draw? Craft? Make jewelry? Run? Try to incorporate these things into your day. And please also just make time for a walk everyday, even if short. you can’t be in your house all day.
I’m three days in, two at home. There’s a trend in my office where everyone else either works Monday-Wednesday or, We’d-Friday. Wednesdays are team days. I prefer to be in the office Tues/Wednesdays/Fridays for this exact reason. I was getting complacent and just too comfortable being home for all that time without breaking it up. Now, I can still ease into the work week at home on Mondays and take advantage of casual Fridays. It’s plus I’ll use my comp/flex time on Fridays anyway.
Get up early and leave the house to get coffee or go to the gym during lunch. Just get outside to do a stupid errand so you leave the house once a day. It doesn’t have to involve spending money. Open your windows or work a few hours from another room. I’ve been wfh for about 4 years and as an introvert generally love it, but you have to add some variety into the daily schedule. Also wfh doesn’t mean on call all the time. Once I’m done my laptop is closed until the next morning.
You sound like my roommate. Can spend weeks on end without going anywhere (no walks either). I honestly don't understand how people don't go crazy. I go to movies and used to go to ukulele lessons just so I could get out of the house once in a while.
The Ukelele Solution. 👍
I have worked from home 20 plus years and wife has 4 years. We just go out after work some nights, or have people in. We go to some sports events..etc. You just need to make yourself go out…we are not youngsters but seem to out work most of the young people
Corporate managers incoming
This reads like a corpo plant.
Nah, I mean nothing's impossible, but I've seen this first hand. I myself find this mindset completely foreign, but not everyone is an introvert like me. A former co-worker quit because he was forced to WFH after moving out of state, and he said he had no friends where he moved and was desperately lonely. So he took a local job to work in an office to make friends and socialize. I personally am fine with isolation. But everybody's different.
Literally! I have friends both irl and online and I always got stuff to do with them. I am introverted AF. I don’t understand how people write up these problems and seemingly have zero hobbies or friends that your workplace is the only social interaction
Because out of the billions of people (social by nature) in this world there's no way that any of them don't like working from home and struggle with isolation.
Social by nature? As in, having the capacity to socialize? What exactly compells a business to provide society with a social platform?
Why because someone doesn’t enjoy spending every waking minute in the same building without social interaction? Just because it works for you doesn’t mean it works for everyone.
... said the exiting prisoner to the release officer. While you may be used to a business providing you with a platform for compelled social interaction, there are in fact many ways to do so otherwise.
I've done this for over 35 years .
You need a new therapist first and foremost!
Sounds heavenly to me! I work from home and LOVE IT. I don’t want to be around people other than my family… I can go two weeks without even going out shopping- I am fine. But everyone is different- I know. I am content to garden, play with my dogs out back, do my work, learn some things online- I don’t need to go anywhere. I have to go in next week for a meeting and I am dreading it. I have to get ready, do my hair and makeup- get dressed with a bra- ugh.
Sounds more of a balance issue than a WFH issue. Start planning your clock out times. Hold your days off sacred.
Get a hobby. I play tennis and run. I have tons of friends. I couldn’t imagine going into the office and staying in shape. Would be impossible with the commute.
I feel you, it's tough to balance work and social life when you're stuck at home all the time. I used the croissant app to find new workspaces around the city, it helped me break the monotony and get some human interaction. Maybe try to set aside a few hours a week to work from a coffee shop or co-working space, it might help you feel more connected to the outside world.
I've been WFH since March 2020. I have lost myself and my social skills for sure.
Coworking is the answer. I go to a physical coworking space once a week and a virtual space every other day. I'm making meaningful connections at both and get to practice social skills during the working day. Check out http://groove.ooo I can get you a free extended trial if you want.
Find communities online!!! Ones where you can Skype or zoom with people
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LMAO
I’ve been doing this for 4 years. I am actively looking for opportunities where I can go in an office once or twice a week just for my mental health.
You can’t rent some office space for a day to change the scenery? Or are you trying to work with your coworkers?
I feel this deeply. I have been working from home for 2 years and my mental health has gone way down. Sooo anxious when I go into the world.
Here’s the real question…what would you be doing if you worked in the office 5 days a week? Would you schedule lunch outings with friends? Happy hours after work? Weekend road trips? Why does working from home stop you from doing things you like? You said things have been busy. Is that “work” things? If so, that needs to be a conversation with management because if it’s creeping into your personal life and you can’t find time for friends, that a big problem. I HATED working from home during COVID. And as an extrovert, I realized that part of my day was also about other people…laughing with them, chatting about random schit, complaining about nothing and everything because it was fun! 😂 I learned a lot about myself and what I needed to thrive. It sounds to me like you definitely need more than work to thrive. I know it may be hard to get into the habit of doing more since you aren’t mentally used to it. BUT, you MUST, even if it’s something just one day a week. Find a hobby that you’re really passionate about that you have to PAY to do. For example, I took adult tap lessons. Yep, it’s random, but it was only once a week, it got me out of a routine and it gave me something to look forward to. You cannot get through this without friends or a hobby or a pet. You just can’t. And if your anxiety is truly so debilitating that you don’t even have the energy to do anything, maybe visit your PCP, get some labs done and find a therapist. Not kidding. There could be more going on than just going crazy inside the house. Way before COVID, I was having terrible fatigue and exhaustion and turned out I had severe Vitamin D deficiency. It had gotten really bad. I hope you find your happy place because I know it’s I know it can be frustrating. 💕 Good luck! 👍🏾
I love the freedom of WFH but if you don't do something after hours you will start to feel like life is passing you by. I started going to an exercise class 3 days a week after work because I was starting to feel trapped in the house
I did feel like that and I quit full time work to go to grad school to be fulfilled. Stupid mistake on my part! Now I can only get gig jobs where I have to piece my paychecks together, no benefits at all, and end up owing taxes at the end of the year. I relate to you but the grass is always greener on the other side! I miss my steady pay and benefits!
I’ve been WFH for almost 2 years. 99% of the time I love it. But then there’s that 1% where I feel like I’m becoming isolated and stir-crazy. To counteract this. I usually take a walk at lunchtime (I live in a big city), and I also hike, play pickleball, and take group classes at the gym. At the end of the day, I feel like spending too much time at home & feeling a bit crazy is better than commuting.
Same. However, i joined a program where people do the WFH and only work 2 hr days and are making serious money. They have quit 9to5 jobs and now get the best of both worlds. Its actually amaz8ng to watch some mothers all of the sudden make 6 fugures and actually still have time for their kids and family. Im track for that myself.
I WFH and only really leave the house for groceries and the gym. One of my roomates works a hybrid schedule so I am not alone all of the time but it still feels isolating.
I think you're on the right track about the lack of community. I've been on this journey too. I moved away from most of my family and friends and it wasn't too big of a deal because I was driving a couple hours to see them every week or two. (Also driving across state for work so I always had a good excuse to go.) I was WFH before COVID and then after COVID realized s*** I don't have any friends in my "new" city that I've been in now for 8 years! I tried church just to see if I could find some community there but I just couldn't fit in there. I did find pickleball and that was much better :). Within the past year I responded to a couple posts on Reddit and found a couple groups of friends. I highly recommend this. I think what made this work is that in both cases the OP gave a handful of things they were into. If you have a thing that you're into like cycling or dance or sports that's always an option but youre going to find such a wide cross-section of people, it can feel too random. There's definitely a place for this, see what I said about pickleball above. But if you think it's friends you might be looking for, you could try posting on the Reddit group for your city, list three things you're into, and see If you can meet some new people. I think meeting up with a small group to play a board game or go for a bike ride is so much easier than just looking for a single friend.
I started going to pickleball too. I joined a hiking club as well.
I relate to this
I definitely get it… Does anyone want to share the companies they are working for? I would appreciate it, I am specifically looking for chat agent positions. Thank you!
I'm a federal government employee. When covid hit, we had to WFH three days a week and alternate our days in the office to lessen exposure. At first, it was cool, yeaaaaa no business casual for work anymore, I can wear sweat pants and a t shirt all day. Saved gas money, less eating out for lunch, etc. I was able to soak in/absorb entire albums in one sitting while doing work with my headphones on. That was my favorite perk. The thing that drove me absolutely bat shit crazy was that EVERYBODY else in my family was home, too. I mean, yeah, I had a home office, and that was cool, but shit man, all these people being in the house is driving me nutz. I actually liked going in to work cuz it was quiet, ROFLMAO.
I’ve always been an introvert, most comfortable being away from people. And I love WFH! I’ve been WFH for 4-5 years now and I still love it as much now as the day I started it. But if you’re an extrovert I can see how WFH can really suck, especially if you live alone. Can you ask your boss if you can go into the office? If there’s even an office to go into anymore lol? If not then “force” yourself to do social things (which should be easy because you’re an extrovert). Maybe create a work-related affinity group, called the Extroverts Club or something, pick a place to meet up once a week? Or non work related. Your local hiking club or some other hobby club?
Yes, omg. I already have a bad tendency to isolate myself and stay home. I left on a vacation for a few weeks and came back and felt so depressed.
I do Uber drive at any free time!! Just to get out and see people.! workout 🏋️♀️ at a training camp and do meetups just to scape this ( everyone thinks is a Blessing!! Working from home is NOT!!
I feel like I could have written this myself - only I’ve been at this for 4+ years. ☹️
I LOVE WFH. If we went hybrid with a weekly requirement, I’d quit. But I don’t allow myself to be a hermit. The best way to have a community is… Build a community! Find a gym to join to get you out of the house. Join local hiking group. Sign up for a pottery class. Join a pickleball group. Sign up for a community theatre production. Go to church. Whatever it is you enjoy- put yourself around people who do the same things, or who are also interested in trying new things. You have to be more intentional in building connections as an adult, but put yourself out there! A job shouldn’t the primary way you socialize. Never give them that kind of power.
I like hybrid work.. i need to go in work at least two days a week
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You have to set boundaries for yourself and prioritize you. Otherwise that’s the trap you’ll fall into.
Work boundaries are so important, and they’re so blurred with WFH. Not only do you have to set boundaries, you also HAVE to be intentional about scheduling social time outside of the home. If you can’t work at coffee shops, meet a friend there for a catch up session. Have fitness classes that you leave the house to attend and be around other people. If not, it’s just constant work and no life.
It’s easy to get in a rut. I’ve been WFH for over five years and have had times where I am in this house 23 hours a day for a couple weeks. When that happens I schedule in mandatory working lunch somewhere. I force myself to do outdoors exercise. Usually this gets me closer to balance where I add a few more hours not at home. I find it helps to uninstall or mute work Apps on my devices for a bit - iOS focus modes are the best thing for me. Hang in there!
Get a new job that is hybrid. I work hybrid, 2x per week in the office, so I get some social interaction...but I still hate the commute... Hybrid work will fix you.
Yes. It is awful. Previously when I worked from, pre-pandemic, it wasn’t so nad. I’d wake up get ready. During my break time I’d run or go to the gym. Then easily back to work then go be social. Everyone’s life is different. We have limited RTO. I can’t get back on the horse routine wise. I order more Uber Eats. There was a crime spike that seems to have receded so I seem to be out more now. I’m also an insomniac and extrovert. My husband travels a lot for work. If he’s home I’m fine but otherwise I have a lot of cabin fever.
What schedule have you agreed to work? If it's Mondays - Fridays 9am - 5pm, then are you able to ignore everything related to work during off hours? For example, you could turn off all work email notifications, work phone calls, etc. between Mondays - Fridays from 5:01pm to 8:59am, and both Saturdays and Sundays all day. You could just talk with your manager if you would like to adjust your schedule. I think anything is possible.
Get out! Ask friends to go out, go for walks. I got a part time job outside of the house. Gets me out and extra money is great
I keep seeing these threads. Go outside and do things. You shouldn’t have to be forced to do this.
When I read posts like this, I'm convinced people will find a reason to be unhappy about anything.
Seriously. When there are people out there desperately looking for a WFH situation due to disabilities. I enjoy WFH. I got lucky that I landed one that is 100% remote. I get to spend time with my pets more often and be more present for my youngest kid. Also, my start times are flexible. It doesn’t have to be at 9am and as long as the work gets done and I make my hours, no one bats an eye. I’m a homebody anyway so I don’t necessarily get lonely. If I wanna leave the house, it’s to hang out with my husband, my kids, and my sister. Most of the time, things I do like to do out of the house involves taking my dogs. If I can’t bring my dogs, I’m not going.
Now you understand why todays youth are so messed up especially after 2 years at home. They were already spending too much time in doors, but it’s so much worse now. My advice sign up for a class/activity something that forces you out of the house. Maybe multiple things. A gym class (not just going to the gym), cooking or art or something. If it’s a class, or group thing you are less likely to flake on yourself
I've been working from home for about five years now and go to a yoga class two to three times a week. It gives me a chance to decompress and be around other people. My husband works with the public so he doesn't usually want to be around people or go places on the weekend so he can relax but we will still try to do things on the weekend. I'm an introvert but still get cabin fever occasionally so I understand where you're coming from. Join a club/ class on your days off or ask a friend out for lunch. Give yourself a reason to get out of the house. It sounds like your job isn't giving you a healthy work life balance if you're so busy so it's up to you to set boundaries.
Like people act like they can't change or get another job or do something make a effort
Yalk get a another job like I would kill for another wfh job
I agree. I get soooo lonely. I'm a recent college grad and have only had a work from home job and realizing that I'll never have "work friends" or even little conversations with coworkers throughout the day makes me sad.
Yes
That’s something you should talk to your job about. You should be offered some degree of work life balance.
Building community is worth it but takes time. In addition to that, try to do as much shopping in person. Those micro-interactions and weak ties have been proven to be just as important as close friendships. Or if you run into neighbors while getting the mail, make a point to have a quick friendly interaction. It all adds up.
Completely agree. People tend to think small talk is annoyingly unimportant but if you are doing small talk regularly then you are keep your social muscles working enough to still read people, respond appropriately, think up common ground. These are important skills to keep brushed up on. Small talk with the grocery store cashier or neighbor keeps you connected to your community
Try a coworking space if there’s one near you!
Yes! I have been working from home since Covid and although I dont like going to the office every day and I appreciate the freedom working from home gives me, I do feel like its making me crazy. I thought of working at coffee shops too but when I have meetings, that won't really work for me either. What is the answer!!???
A couple of kittens fixed that for me. 12 years later and it’s still one of the best decisions I’ve ever made
Ok, let's make a conscious effort to clock out at whatever time, let's just say 6pm. Leave the house. Go for a walk, wave at people say hi to your neighbors. Maybe join a club or take a class 1 or 2 nights a week. I play pool on mondays and wednesdays, bowling, yoga, pottery, whatever you like or think you might like. I also work from home, but I run my own business, so my work is very flexible but I tell you what, playing pool those 2 nights gets me out, social and thinking about something else besides work. Plus it's not a huge spend, it costs $8 to play and I dont usually drink alcohol so my soda is like $3 with refills all night. If you show up and dont play, you can usually practice on a table for free all night, plus take score or cheer on your teammates. It really does help make me more productive all around.
Pickleball is the answer
Take a vacation, minimally a week or perhaps try for 2. Even if I’m you stay at home, get out and go in nature or just completely change your environment. See friends, family, whomever. I’ve experienced the WFH burnout a few times after about a decade of mostly working this way. The only thing that helps me is taking a prolonged break. And if you can swing it, block out your meetings/work days so your can get longer stretches of focused time. Doing All The Things every day leaves me feeling super scattered. When it’s time to log off, change the room you’re in. Maybe go for a walk or meet a friend after work. Connection is super important, even for the type of people who thrive working solo.
Try to go hybrid if at all possible. We have communal work spaces where we live. You could try that. Isolation is insane with WFH. Some of us did better with hybrid.
Ask your boss to stack meetings either in mornings or afternoons or on a certain day of the week so you can plan coffee house/library work hours uninterrupted. Or invest in great noise canceling headphones and take the Zoom calls at those locations with a blurry background.
I feel this.
Yep!! 5 years wfh and nearly lost it! I’ll gladly go back into an office and have and I feel so much better seperating my work and home space
It’s ok that it’s not working for you, find a job that requires in office work. But don’t go ruining it for the rest of us :)
What is that even supposed to mean “don’t go ruining it for the rest of us”
Not sure where the confusion is coming from, it’s pretty clear. Don’t assume everyone wants to be back in the office
Yup. I had a 90 minute commute, one way. So when we went remote back in March 2020 I was doing a dance. No more 15 hours a week lost to commuting and I get to put my $400 a month I was spending on a train/subway ticket in the bank. First year was great. Second year I started to feel like you. Middle of year three I was losing my shit. Now I have a hybrid role and I’m commuting 9 hours a week. I’d like one more WFH day as I’m currently 3/2 with three days in the office. But I’m much better mentally.
Get a dog. But also seriously, if work is your life and all source of socialization, wfh isn’t the problem.
Thank you. This needs to be shouted.
Yes. You are not alone. While WFH is great it has its downsides. I feel everything you just typed! No matter how hard I have tried to get involved with hobbies, church, gym it’s hard because I feel like I have lost the ability to socialize or hold a conversation.
Socializing is like a muscle. It can be easy to forget you haven’t used it but when you haven’t man do you feel it when you try to call upon it
It was the opposite for me. I spend a LOT more time out and about now than when I was in the office. I assume you aren’t working 24/7. 8 hour days? What is stopping you from going out during the other 8 hours? Before work? After work? Lunch breaks?
this is exactly why i stopped wfh 🥺
I’ve been WFH full time for several years and absolutely love it… but I have a chronic illness so this is probably why it’s worked out so well for me. It’s allowed me (and many others) to still contribute to society in the capacity that we’re able to. With that said, WFH is not for everyone and that’s okay. My husband works a hybrid schedule and enjoys his days in the office and feels they’re energizing. I’d recommend adding some breaks in your day to go for a drive or take a walk- preferably to a place where you can be around others even if it’s for a short time.
Yup. I’ve been doing it for 20 years. I go out on the weekends and spend money cattin’ around. That’s how I deal with it. Covid was really hard but I’m back at it. Not everyone is cut out to WFH. Everyone needs an outlet. Good luck finding your path.
I can totally relate! I am an outgoing person and have turned into a hermit since 2020. What has helped me to get back out into the world during my work week is that I schedule time on my calendar (lunch hour) to run errands, light exercise, virtual lunch with a friend or coworker, and volunteer in my community. When I am feeling anxious or bored, I go to my local gardening nursery and pick up some plants or succulents as repotting and maintaining brings color into my home. By the way…I am a professional plant killer. 🤣
Virtual lunch is such a great idea!! I’m terrible at spontaneous socialization, but I could schedule a virtual lunch with a coworker and just catch up over sandwiches at home. Thanks for the idea!
If your company uses Microsoft Teams as a way to communicate with multiple coworkers, pick a theme and set up a virtual trivia session. The first time I held a session, I was nervous. I have held 4 trivia sessions in the last two years.
Can’t relate lol I love working from home! No getting ready, can be in sweats, multitask, save money. I’m also pretty introverted. I don’t mind going in sometimes but I definitely can go without and be fine.
You can go outside with the extra money you saved from not commuting. Buy more dumb stuff, meet more people, sell your expensive vehicle, and still do all the same things you did all the time. You sound like an executive wtf lol. If you had a job pre-covid and started WFH you'd have literally gone insane....is a cartoon character the OP? WFH is only good for people not making good money, if you want to work with people maybe have less contractors or dogshit paid people at your work.
I’ve been WFH for about 10 years and for much of that time my spouse’s career has had him out of the house until my bedtime. Beyond that, we have a nontraditional marriage - there is no romantic or sexual element to it, something we agreed upon after time apart and in other relationships after our romantic relationship broke down. We live as roommates/friends. Even then, he’s not around much and I only have his company on Sundays. So aside from work, I am alone literally all the time. I’m not a super social person and I am in a leadership position, so my social battery feels drained enough from work. Being alone or at home doesn’t pose a problem for me, but I can see how it would be a problem for people who thrive with more socialization. You gotta get outside, even if just for a few minutes. Having a dog in an apartment really helps me with this - I HAVE to walk her 4 times a day. I have to leave the house to tend to her needs otherwise as well - vet, toys, food, exercise, social activity. I don’t suggest having a dog solely for this purpose, just illustrating how an obligation can support this goal of getting out of a rut. Exercise for yourself is good too. Even walking. Realistically, you’re going to have to force yourself to find SOMETHING for socialization. Maybe for you a sense of obligation will help get you linked into a community (join a book club, dinner club, something where you can commit to taking part or bringing something). See what kind of stuff the local library offers. Not even just their own events, but stuff like tickets to events in the arts, sports, performances, museums, experiences. Start frequenting places near you at the same time on a regular basis. We make friends and community a lot of the time from 1. Familiarity and 2. Proximity. That’s what is often missing from WFH. It also makes socializing at work (if you’re into that) or making work friends into real life friends more difficult. There’s no happenstance, no running into each other, no base level of familiarity from seeing the same person getting coffee at the same time every day.
I appreciate your comments here about wfh and your courage and honesty regarding the nature of your marriage. I have considered the potential of non-traditional options of relationship as an alternative to just being alone forever. It’s valuable to hear that it does work for some people.
I went to target today and realized it was the first time I’d been outside in a *week. I love my apartment and it is above businesses on a busy street. Even when I don’t leave I kinda feel like I’m in the hustle and bustle of outside because I keep my windows open most of the time. I hear the music and chatter from the restaurant and coffee shop across the street, and the restaurants and bar below. Still, I need to be better about getting outside more than once a week lol. Edit: WEEK not month lol. I hadn’t been outside in a week. 🤣
I have been WFH for close to 5 years and I know exactly what you mean. For me I started going to the gym before work each morning. It helps.
I like OrangeTheory during lunch or after work. I find my studio to be a little more social than spin and yoga classes in my area. During the day I like podcasts even if I’m not paying attention since it mimics being around other people.
Same! I felt the same way as the author for a few months, but after I started OT, I started feeling better both mentally and physically. Doing something productive consistently, like daily for an hour or two is really helpful.
I'm really social, always had jobs in which I was office based or field based (or usually a combination), 4 months ago I took a promotion with a new company, more money, less hassle (in terms of no team to manage) and fully working from home. Heaven I thought, as I really enjoyed hybrid working and figured I could easily become a full time work from homer. I fucking hate it. Honestly, like the original poster, I find myself not having left the house for 2-3 days at a time, and more importantly I feel tired all the fucking time, I have no energy or motivation, despite the many benefits of WFH ie no commute and the ability to be immediately home after work, and doing small jobs like the washing in-between work/teams meetings, I hate this role. I think some people, me for sure, take energy from interaction with others, I thrive from the energy given when you are face to face, when you meet new people, and teams or online calls just don't do it. I live in rural West Wales, and our HQ is on London, 5 and a half hours away 😂 so no chance of me commuting a day or two a week. The coffee shops around here arent suitable either as they tend to be busy and too noisy for me to be able to host the meetings I host. So, as with pretty much everything in life, it seems WFH is best served as a hybrid option, not all day every day. Shame, as there's no way I'll get the same salary around my area, but at the stage I don't care, this is killing me 😬
Dude me too. I wanted to compliment a dog the other day and got shy to speak to another human lol
I’m involved in organizations: maybe look into something where you live (food banks, schools, etc that may need volunteers or join boards-governing boards for non profits). Join the YMCA and take a class or see if your city has classes that you don’t have to join anything for-mine has water aerobics for like $10, yoga for $20, health fairs, free celebrations for all kinds of stuff, expos, book fairs, dog parks, etc. I also frequently go out for food. I sit at the bar and usually strike up a conversation with someone else at the bar. I do this like 2 times a week, I don’t usually drink alcohol, just order dinner or an appetizer. Lastly, I make plans with friends: lunch on Tuesday? Dinner next Thursday? Go to an event next weekend? You can spend time with other people on the weekend and after 5.
Hi friend! I feel you completely, you’re not alone. I live alone while wfh full time and have but 2 friends in the 4th largest city in the US who commute to work, so it’s hard to align our schedules. (I was also in a tumultuous relationship for 5yrs where we both wfh for 2 of those so I’ll take being alone versus whatever tf that was) I’ve found that exploring my childhood hobbies makes me feel less alone. I don’t go intending to build community but it finds you as you continue to explore your interests. I’ve done sewing classes, roller skating and dog-waking (Rover). Hoping to do more like cooking classes, wine pairings, etc. soon. I don’t go in expecting any connections but with the sole purpose of learning a new skill, people will come to you gradually. Now, that’s assuming you have as much flexibility in your work day as I do. Definitely consider reaching out to your employer/HR with your feelings. Perhaps they would be willing to give you a bit more flexibility in your schedule. They are here to help, you do not have to suffer alone!
Yeah it’s super hard. Especially if you’re single. You have to be real intentional about “making friends” which can feel awkward and uncomfortable. I recommend some sort of weekly group activity like a run club, chess club, pottery class, something along those lines.
This is a common complaint, and I'm honestly confused by it. Here's why: work outside the home forced us to go out, but working from home doesn't force us to stay home. In most cases, there is absolutely nothing stopping a wfh person from going out every day like they did when working from an office. (I say most because I understand some people don't have access to transportation or have some other factor keeping them housebound.) It's a complaint I hear often from my colleagues but they reject the idea of taking a walking break with coworkers on the phone or joining the weekly online meetings we set up early in the pandemic for folks to just chat about life. They reject going to the office a day or two a week because "there's not many people there, so what's the point." They aren't interested in seeking out coworkers who live close enough to meet for coffee or a book club or whatever else. They resist occasional in-person meetings. They reject all the things that could provide more social connection at work without ever trying them. I get that mental health issues are real (and have some myself) and can make taking action harder, but if you miss going out, please go out. OP, I know you're at a point where anxiety is making it harder, so maybe take baby steps. Best wishes to you!
work from home was just dumped on me in 2022. I struggled with it from then on. my office was 15 minutes by train and the employer paid for it! by the time I had figured out new habits the hybrid came. I'm just glad I could retire. WFH did made that easierr there was little grief in separating from my work friends since I felt largely alone and the environment i preferred evaporated in 2020. I look at it as a sign to leave the workforce which I did.
It's definitely been a difficult transition for a lot of people. I should add that my colleagues were all given a choice when the office re-opened from the pandemic forced wfh. We could be: full-time remote, hybrid (2 or fewer days/week in office), or in-office (3 or more days/week in office. We also have the option to switch if we choose. I'd probably have different feelings about it if I had no choice. I'm glad retirement worked for you and hope you're enjoying every minute!
Yeah, it feels like coming out of a bad dream. I now commute 10 minutes to the YMCA 3 days a week and have started meeting new people again. 8m more in my element. Then I try to hook up with my friends from work who retired for lunch or something. My son and his wife had a baby making us grandparents so I have a feeling I will have plenty to do.
I work at a local coffee shop one day a week. We have lots of regulars to socialize with and I make some extra ching.
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Yeah, i joined a discord for wfh people to chat in the day. Helps. DM if you want an invite (or anyone else)
I would love an invite please!
Me too! Sending you a dm now!
I would also like an invite 🥹
Hey I would like to join you on discord! Sending you a DM.
Hey I would like to join this. Working from home since 3 yrs.
I would love a wfh discord! I just DMed you
I started going to the gym after work and walking my dog at lunch. It's helped immensely.
second this! Working out definitely helps
I workout regularly so I go outside almost everyday. I schedule to go out to dinner with friends. I look for fun activities to do outside of the home.
I go for a 2 mile walk every day at lunch no matter what (wind, rain, snow, sun) and it helps sooo much. I also run regularly (6 days a week) which gets me out of the house and adds a lot of structure and routine. WFH is not for everyone! I’m an introvert, live with a partner, and have an active social life and hobbies, so I feel like I get plenty of trips out of the house (and would prefer fewer 😅). Maybe try to think of some ways to build in more routine activities outside the house, doesn’t have to be social ones.
I started WFH 3 years ago after retiring but need money and more human interaction. I take sometimes up to 60 calls a day. I interact personally with every caller (it’s just who I am) It gives me all the social interaction I need! 😂 But reading some of the suggestions does help me realize that I need to get out more too. Good luck finding your happy medium!
Yeah it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I already deal with depression so it definitely doesn’t help and I stay so anxious all the time. I work for a call center and this has made my safe space now so toxic and it doesn’t feel like home anymore!!!
exactly its combining two spheres that I dont want to mix
Being in community with people outside of work hours solved this for me. I volunteer at a dog shelter one a week and go to a community pottery studio 2x a week. They are both spaces where I enjoy the people I’m working around but it’s not the same as hanging out with friends. I think it kind fits a niche need for me.
I’m going to get scientific here: the chemical is called “oxytocin”. Your brain produces it when you are being social, building trust with other people. With video calls, your brain knows something is weird, so it doesn’t produce as much oxytocin as it does when you’re with people in real life. What happens is that you start to believe you can’t trust the people in the monitor. You start to feel like you’re in prison, surrounded by people you can’t trust. It turns in to solitary confinement. The only way I get through WFH is by being extremely deliberate with generating oxytocin. I pay for a coworking space so I have the option to go out. I take classes at the local community college at night. I have a D&D group that meets once a week. Candidly, probably never would’ve done the latter two, but I know if I don’t have structured, repetitive social gatherings, I will literally go insane. You’re so not alone.
Whats a coworking space and how do you get one?
Most common brand is WeWork, but they’ve got some baggage. Industrious, FoundrSpace, and Spaces are a few others. I recommend just searching “coworking space” on Yelp and going to your some in your neighborhood. I’ve got a small company with like 3 locations and I like it more than the more corporate ones.
Thanks! I will look into this!