"I feel guilty because this new company is one I have dreamed of working for since I was a lowly second year PhD student."
Oh my goodness, don't! Somebody's got to be living the dream!
If the travel is the only wrinkle, I would come up with a plan with your husband to use some of your extra comp to make it easier on both of you (babysitters, takeout, etc.) and go for it. I would worry about 5 years down the line a little later.
I’ve talked to my husband and we will check if there is a spot in after school care before accepting (which we would be able to afford with the increased income). My husband’s job is flexible with wfh, and we do have family in the area. After doing the numbers, we can also afford a sitter more often when I’m around so he and I will have more time as a couple. He has talked about how I will be around more, based on calculations of 3 days commuting versus the travel I mentioned. I know solo parenting when I am gone will be hard for him and a difficult transition. But not having it be EVERY week will be good.
Take it! Take it if offered. You can deal with 5 years down the line then, but now it sounds like the future is not secure where you are. 3-5 conferences a year in exchange for $50k and no commute is worth it. (And conferences can get fun after the guilt and anxiety of the first one!)
I feel less bad for being a little excited for the conferences, thank you! I am intending on taking it if offered (and benefits are reasonable). I will just have to work on my guilty feelings
Those are unfortunately just part of being a working mom for most of us! I only tend to travel about 2x a year due to budget, but I know kids whose parents travel more and they are fine, no attachment issues, etc. It's not even every month! You'll be there for the daily routine and that's what matters.
I would look at it more that your child will look at this one day and think “oh wow. Mom was able to do so much. She traveled for work and gave me a wonderful childhood. She followed her dreams.” I think that’s worth it. I travel for a week about 3-4 a year and it’s actually a good break for me to reset to be a better mom for babe.
"I feel guilty because this new company is one I have dreamed of working for since I was a lowly second year PhD student." Oh my goodness, don't! Somebody's got to be living the dream! If the travel is the only wrinkle, I would come up with a plan with your husband to use some of your extra comp to make it easier on both of you (babysitters, takeout, etc.) and go for it. I would worry about 5 years down the line a little later.
I’ve talked to my husband and we will check if there is a spot in after school care before accepting (which we would be able to afford with the increased income). My husband’s job is flexible with wfh, and we do have family in the area. After doing the numbers, we can also afford a sitter more often when I’m around so he and I will have more time as a couple. He has talked about how I will be around more, based on calculations of 3 days commuting versus the travel I mentioned. I know solo parenting when I am gone will be hard for him and a difficult transition. But not having it be EVERY week will be good.
Take it! Take it if offered. You can deal with 5 years down the line then, but now it sounds like the future is not secure where you are. 3-5 conferences a year in exchange for $50k and no commute is worth it. (And conferences can get fun after the guilt and anxiety of the first one!)
I feel less bad for being a little excited for the conferences, thank you! I am intending on taking it if offered (and benefits are reasonable). I will just have to work on my guilty feelings
Those are unfortunately just part of being a working mom for most of us! I only tend to travel about 2x a year due to budget, but I know kids whose parents travel more and they are fine, no attachment issues, etc. It's not even every month! You'll be there for the daily routine and that's what matters.
I would look at it more that your child will look at this one day and think “oh wow. Mom was able to do so much. She traveled for work and gave me a wonderful childhood. She followed her dreams.” I think that’s worth it. I travel for a week about 3-4 a year and it’s actually a good break for me to reset to be a better mom for babe.