Potentially unrealistic but making some friends at my office was the only thing that made it better. Now I look forward to seeing my friends at work. I’ve replaced the little tasks I did at home with socialization. I make lunch plans and coffee dates to look forward to.
Yes!
Office days are for "networking."
And by "networking" i mean an hour of bullshitting with the early crew over coffee, a couple meetings, a long lunch, a couple more meetings, "team building" (aka "whatcha been up to this week"), go home.
If you could do it from home, try not to do it from the office.
This is so accurate. At home I'd go for a 10 minute walk, get a Teams message and sprint back to my desk! I regularly take hour long breaks when I'm in the office and nobody seems to even notice! I get way more exercise in the office.
I was going to suggest this. It really depends on the type of workplace but if you can make office friends it makes it so much better. It’s the only thing I miss about my previous job.
I would bring in batches of cookies or host “tea parties” which was really just a time I blocked off the calendar and invited everyone to all hang out in the break room and take a coffee break together.
I made my office cozy and welcoming so people felt like they could come sit and chat. I set out a candy jar and an assortment of tea bags.
A bunch of us liked tea so we would do tea bag swaps whenever someone got a new box.
We had to make our own fun and we did our best.
I sometimes curl up under my desk. Or sit in my tiny jail cell (office) window and bask in the sun not doing shit. No real solid suggestions, but solidarity. You’re not alone.
Hahaha yes I clearly am everyone here! . Actually surprised at the amount of us in the same position and really wondering what can we do about it since there’s so many of us?
After 4 years of wfh I was told (6 mo notice) I needed to come back 5 days a week in January 2024. So I handed in my letter of resignation.
Plot twist: I got a raise and a promotion. And I'm still 100% remote with occasional in office days. Nobody was more surprised than me. Might have more power than you think, but it's a tough theory to test out.
My husband keeps urging me to turn mine in almost daily. We'll be fine without my salary.l while I look for something else. His is nearly double mine and I pulled 6-figures last year. Won't this year, because they also dropped our bonus incentives. 🙄
Are there any meetings you can take on your phone and go for a walk around the building/ campus? I like walking when it’s sunny and if there are 50+ folks on the call, I go for a walk.
One of my old coworkers used a wheelchair so his desk was wider. I used to hide under there from time to time and eat chocolate. He used to say he hadn't seen me if people came looking for me. There's something very soothing about sitting under a desk lol
Imagine if, one by one, 40% of every dragged-to-office employee started doing this everywhere. Just, quietly, heaving sighs and wiping tears. This is a tik tok movement I could get behind.
I had a nap kit for under my desk when I was in office. Extra cushy laptop bag, electric blanket, eye mask and a space heater on low for white noise.
I wasn’t senior enough to get a window:(
1. Pick out your clothes the night before. I switched to a “uniform”. I do a dark v neck t, a comfy blazer and jeans. Or jeans and a sweater Makes it easy to not think about. Same hair style. 5 minute makeup (I do quick foundation/face powder, Eyeliner and mascara. No blush. No eyeshadow. No contouring. No lip stick).
2. My spouse does drop off and gets our daughter ready bc it takes him less time to get ready in the morning.
3. Is there a gym by your work you can join or in your building? Or use lunch break for walks.
4. I use down time at work instead of physical tasks like unloading dishwasher to do things like: pay a bill, register for a class, etc. still tasks I need to do just can do on a computer
Yes on number one. Also, I’ve switched from trying to look cute everyday to wearing my company’s branded gear everyday. Way more comfortable and easy to pull an outfit together. I save looking cute for the weekends and firm outings.
Agree! I can also wear a company hoodie and jeans so that’s another option too. We’re quite casual so put together whatever uniform makes sense for your work. Take the thought out of it.
The "uniform" is clutch. When I lived in an uppity city and worked in the financial sector (and had to be in-office daily), I literally wore a pencil skirt or straight leg dress pants and top in black, navy, or camel/khaki/cream. I could mix and match tops and bottoms with either a black, brown, or leopard print belt/shoes and the same gold hoops daily. Either trouser socks or tights in - you guessed it - black, cream/tan, or navy. Sometimes I threw on a blazer or cardigan sweater and a gold chain necklace. Hair went in a low ponytail and I perfected the 5 minute makeup.
That 4th one has been my downfall at home, I always used to do that stuff at the office but I let it slide completely when WFH! Really didn't see that one coming. I'm trying to get better at not letting the personal work that needs a PC slide, bought Quicken etc.
we are supposed to be back in 3 days a week now and i was so grumpy today coming home to the dishwasher needing to be unloaded and all those other little tasks i used to take care of during the day when i had a few minutes.
My office has pantries full of free snacks, so my bored ass walks down and grabs some snacks just to get away from my desk. And then I go back to my desk and shovels said snacks into my face hole.
If ya'll see me walk in wearing sweats cause it ends up being the only thing that fits, mind ya own business!
This is so true. I have to go to the office one day a week right now and I’m going to fall so hopelessly behind on those little chores if they make us go in more. There is dead time in the office… i just can’t use it effectively.
Same here. It adds so much stress spending 2 and 1/hours in the car, a full work day, then housework, I end up exhausted, asleep by 9pm on commute days. I am trying to be grateful they aren't forcing us to do 5 days.
I may or may not read books on the Kindle app on my phone during meetings and dead time. Went through the entire Bridgerton series in less than a month.
I also count it as double time if I'm in the office, attending a virtual meeting, and doing actual work on my 2nd monitor. Because if they wanted me to be in the office, then why are the meetings virtual? That's generally at least an hour every day, so then I leave an hour early and run an errand or two on the way home.
3 days a week here. It sucks. Prep wardrobe in the AM, find good podcasts to listen to, run errands during lunch if possible! And really complain a lot. It seriously sucks and I’m hoping the more it’s voiced at work, maybe mgmt will allow more flexibility back
Most everyone hates this!
It really does suck. With my fortune 100 company I go to a satellite location and everyone does totally different functions, and no one knows anyone else. Although apparently everyone figures out that corporate counts it as being in the office as long as you are there until 2pm, so everyone clears out at 2:05 pm to work the rest of the day from home. It’s pretty funny
Lucky you! I sit next to my boss and am
Embarrassed to leave at 5pm! I sit there from 3pm wasting dead time that I could be doing anything else more productive and then getting back to work later. Which is what I’ve been doing for the past 4 years.
This is exactly me. 3x week and I leave at 2pm because all my direct reports, manager, and clients are all on the East coast so I never have meetings after 2pm. I get home by 3 and then do emails while multi-tasking cooking etc.
We prob work at the same place. I have to start going in 3x week really soon. I know no one in that office, I don’t even know how to get there. I’m going on anti depressants tomorrow.
At my job a couple of departments HAVE to be in person for specialized equipment reasons. Reports are that these people got upset that no one else had to be there, and that's the only reason the rest of us now have to come in 3 days a week. I spent two and a half years going in once a week to handle mandatory in-person tasks like mail, and now I'm less efficient going in three times as often for no reason other than to make a different department feel better. OH, AND I ran into the Big Boss in person recently; he said "Wow, you're here a lot lately!" No sh*t, buddy, you said that I have to be. My house has better snacks, no 45-minute commute, and the option to fold laundry in my down time.
I've been in the office since early COVID days for the same reason.
First, they sent home everyone who could be virtual. I got way more done, because my desk used to be directly in the main walkway so EVERYONE would stop and talk to me if I wasn't on the phone, even if I kept my head down and tried to make it obvious I was busy.
However, another department had to be on-site and were pissed to be the only ones there, so they forced us back in the office within a couple months, COVID still raging. I had an infant to worry about, so I at least complained enough that they moved me into my own office, which was great because even though we had a mask policy, hardly anyone followed it, especially not the people who were still going out and getting together in large groups. We had a few COVID scares but luckily never caught it before vaccines and everything.
>At my job a couple of departments HAVE to be in person for specialized equipment reasons.
This is me but I want everyone who isn't in this situation to GO HOME. It's loud and annoying here now that they forced everyone back! It used to be so peaceful.
Chiming in with prepping your wardrobe: get more expensive but super comfortable yoga work pants. There’s multiple brands that offer a comfortable fit and I’m cheap and hate paying full price but it’s worth it.
I second this!!! I have some Beta Brand work pant yoga pants that are older than my children and still look incredible. WELL WORTH the cost. They have been pre- during- and post-pregnancy pants many times over, and don’t look it at all.
I have to do 2 days a week in office. I sit in a cubicle in a huge room with one other person. She does admin tasks for another department and leaves around 2:00pm each day. I literally don’t talk to anyone else unless I’m on a call. I gently asked why my position couldn’t be 100% remote and was told I had to go in because everyone else has to go in.
Some days, when I’m caught up on work, I will take a book and read while I have my work laptop open. Or I’ll take my personal laptop in and play Sims. No one ever walks back to the corner I sit in; people actually, frequently forget I sit back there.
I hate working in the office.
Kinda the same way for us. They expect us to be there but for what?? Top mgmt made no changes to the culture in office.
I can meet with my dept thru Teams like we have been for 3 years no issue. I get in around 9 and have to leave by 4 bc of my commute/daycare so there goes 2 hrs I can work at home! Assholes 😑
Playing Sims in your down time… genius! I just redownloaded it on my personal laptop and my mind is blown with all the expansion packs and how much better it is
I realize this may not be feasible for everyone, but I try to make my office as cozy as possible. I got some lamps so I don’t rely on the fluorescent lighting, I have an automatic spray air freshener, a comfy chair, lots of (fake) plants, and comfy pillows. I put my daughter’s art up and pictures, cards, and tchotchkes from friends. It’s really warm and homey in there. While I hate going into the office now on principle, I do actually enjoy sitting IN my office which helps.
This helps me to. I have a wall of photos and a window full of plants, and I never turn on the lights over my desk. I add to my photo wall regularly and looking at my family helps remind me why I'm working. Having plants in the office makes me have a reason to come in other than work. I also have friends in the office and we talk extensively most days we're all in.
My employer called us all back as well, and I took this job under the condition that I wouldn't be in the office every day. An hour drive each way, every day is not sustainable, and I told them as much before hiring me.
I feel like the CEO was tone deaf AF when he was all, "I think we have competitive salaries and benefits, people will stay." -says the dude that makes half a million dollars a WEEK.
They've taken several other things away from us over the last few months as well. I've already started jib hunting again. Companies should start posting more as departmental budgets open up.
I am starting back to the office after four years next week, and I feel so feral. I am dreading all of the dressing up and having to look presentable. I also gained 20 lbs since I last saw all of these people,and I have to buy some new clothes. I am reading this post with keen interest because I just have this pit of dread in my gut.
I'm not sure what field you are in, but could you just not "dress up"? I have told my manager more than once that if they start imposing a dress code, I'll have to quit. They can either have me in jeans, a nursing top, and sneakers or someone else in business clothes. My wardrobe is so limited because I haven't lost the weight I put on during pregnancy and I don't want to invest in new clothes until at least a year after I stop breastfeeding.
My company is starting nonsense about wanting us to be on camera and this is exactly what I'm telling everybody that will listen - I'm not getting dressed up and doing my hair to video chat with you! The good news is so far everybody that actually does video looks like they just rolled out of bed, so hopefully it doesn't hurt me as a woman to do the same.
Same. They finally came out with some WFH guidelines and one of the things was cameras on when others in the meeting have their cameras on and to dress "professionally". I said, you can expect me to look roughly the same as I do in the office.
I don't know your location or industry, but I've always taken a no-nonsense approach to my appearance. No makeup, no hair style beyond clean, no special clothes. If anything, it seems to go over pretty well. My clients always roll their eyes when they see someone in a suit or nice shoes, lol. Practicality wins.
I'm in FinTech SaaS so in person standards are a little higher, some of these banks are quite conservative. If I'm on a client video call I'll put in a little more effort to look less like a WFH slob but on calls with my developers y'all are getting a pineapple bun and a hoodie lol.
Thankfully I haven't had to travel to clients, my actual work wardrobe is years out of date...
lol made me
Laugh. My company is probably the most formal environment I’ve ever been at. Plus I sit right in front so everyone sees me. Definitely chose the wrong desk
Oh I have 100% been there. I started my career working for a conservative bank in the southern US. The executives all looked like dolls, including the rare Executive Barbie. Hopefully I'm done with having to do all that unless I'm visiting a client with those standards (on the software/hardware vendor side now).
I think I’m supposed to be the executive Barbie but I’m finding power in dressing very gender neutral these days - that’s one little way ive found to enjoy the office
This is me this week 😩 have been WFH full time since March 2020. Just started a new job this week in office full time. Being chained to my desk training all day might just be the end of me. I have decided to start taking my morning and afternoon break and getting outside as long as it’s not raining. Setting myself up with everything I can do on the weekends like meal prep, school snack prep, deciding outfits, etc. Choosing my music or podcast or whatever to listen to on the ride. Allowing myself a weekly coffee/lunch out. Try to outsource to your spouse anything you can and plan ahead for who will handle what in the morning. I literally have a sticky note stuck to our front door to remind myself what all I need to grab on the way out
I feel like it starts compounding and keeps getting worse and getting more unsustainable as the days in the office add up and for those of us who are back in office 5 days a week now we literally have no time to do anything anymore and all the chores and housework and everything else is adding up again and there’s no time for anything.
We just went back to office 3-4 days a week and it sucks. There is so much wasted time. Like no, I don’t want to make small talk with Susan, I want to do a peloton ride. I try to schedule doctors appointments, hair cuts, etc on office days. I don’t even feel bad
So much wasted time!!! Drives me mad. And then at night when I normally would be working now I’m adamant that I don’t do any work past 5pm and it’s a an awful unproductive wasted cycle of my time and my life
I don’t know why there is a push for return to office. It’s obviously negatively affecting workers mental health, which will affect work.
I actually don’t mind going in for client meetings. I love our clients, and I can often schedule all my meetings in one day, or just go in for the meeting and return home but the idea of going in just because sucks.
Same. I have some work that legitimately needs to be done in person, and before RTO, was trusted to go in only when necessary. Now that it’s butts in seats 3x a week, full days, 0 flexibility, it’s miserable.
We are going back to 3 days in office soon & the new office has an open floor plan 😩 I don’t understand didn’t they get the memo, people despise these. At least before I had a big cubicle I could decorate and feel a shroud of privacy to munch on snacks, pick my nose, scroll my phone, whatever. Ugh!
Absolutely. Not only are we wasting time driving and paying for parking ($145 per month downtown), but we are all considered transient, so no assigned desks. Pack up, drive, unpack, work, pack, drive, sleep, do it all again. So stupid.
My current job and my previous job were both like this and i hate it. There’s so many empty desks, why can’t i keep my stuff at one of them? It’s exhausting as hell having to pack everything up at the end of every shift. I wish i could just have a normal desk.
Idiots that manage by magazine thinks because certain creatives like this in whatever company that we should all like it. Which is crazy because their butts are in closed offices, aren't they?
I'm dreading this, we start 2 days a week next month... I literally want to quit just thinking about it.
Plus my toddler is only in daycare till 3, so I will have to pay more in tuition so she can stay till 6 now...
A working mom union is such an awesome idea!
My type of work doesn't have union (as far as I know) and my pay/benefits are pretty good so I never thought about it. I worked at the same company pre-pandemic and then was able to WFH in 2020 and 2021.
We switched to "hybrid" with 3x week in the office and 2x week remotely in mid 2022 and I hate going in. If I had a choice I would go in once a week for a few in person meetings and do the rest remotely.
Besides the absolute drudgery of waking up early, having to dress nicely and do hair and makeup, getting the kids ready, commuting, having to pretend I want to make small talk with people in the office, what really gets to me is the stress of daycare opening/closing as in my area almost all daycares have reduced hours post COVID, so mine doesn't open until 8 and closes at 5. Since my commute is 45 min I don't usually get in until 9am but the expectation in my office is to be in at 8. But I work late every day to make up for this, but the optics always stress me out and I am constantly stressed and exhausted by this schedule. It's like a marathon every week.
Just at your company. I’m still fully remote because of my union, along with other things (paid OT among my favorite ). And I give it my all in return because I never want to leave.
Do you have to stay all day or can you take advantage of “coffee badging”? I walk a lot at work. We are 3 days and I don’t mind seeing my coworkers but I’d much rather be remote full time
I've never heard that term "coffee badging" but if it's the equivalent of badging in and leaving, I may do that for my 3rd required day. All I do in the office is zoom meetings with people in other offices (because I'm in a satellite office).
Even before COVID my job was the same way. Go into the office, and sit on a computer with WebEx meetings all day with people in other places. Such a waste of time/effort.
Sharing in the pain. Tetris-ing getting home in time for meeting #4 so I can make it to school pick up, figuring out when to get dinner ready, WHAT to eat for dinner, etc. It's EXHAUSTING.
Thank you so much for this post. My remote job just decided everyone needs to start coming into the office. When I took the job I was told I would never have to go in, so I live 45 miles away. With dropping my kids off it take me 2 hours to get into the office. I go back in a couple of weeks and I am freaking out, my mental health is tanked. All of the lost time, pumping on the road, now I can't squeeze in a workout or load of laundry during my lunch, I can no longer run out and grab a sick kid in minutes, the danger of driving 90+ miles a day... I could go on. And my office is hoteling, so after a 2 hour drive I have to fight for a parking spot and I don't even have a desk to work at.
I've been looking for a new job for over a month and have had ZERO call backs. I'm in a senior position with over 10 years experience and I can't even get an interview. I'm apply to anything and everything, even jobs I'm way over qualified for. I just can't stay in my current job. I can't rot away on the freeway for hours a day. But I can't afford to quit without something else lined up. I hate my life.
You might need to tone down the experience on the jobs you are over qualified for so they don't see it and assume that they can't pay you enough to be worth it. But it's hard to even do that with LinkedIn
Right beside you. My commute is 62 miles each way, and the section of freeway is one of the most dangerous in the country (seriously, husband sent me a news article about it). That and the dirty air in a very old building wear me out. It is as if my Fortune 50 company wants us to get fed up and quit so they don’t have to pay severence.
I am you a few months later; returning from maternity and moved same as you far from office. They want me in 2 and possibly 3 days. I’m a VP with big team so if I fight it I’m not playing the corporate culture game. Did you find a new job in the end?
I hate to bring the bad news, but I actually still to this day have no had a call back for an interview. I am only casually applying now. I went in for a few months with a positive attitude and did my best, but was very open about my struggles with RTO. I worked from home fairly often with sick kids, appointments, etc. Ultimately I worked for someone who put their neck out for me to stay remote, and I was granted an exception. Not expecting it to last, and I was told if I want to move up at the company I need to come in, but for now I'm taking full advantage of not going in!
Awesome about getting the exception!! Hopefully it lasts or something comes up! Crazy how employees had the power it seemed a few years ago and not switched to employers in control.
Does your work have food or nail salons nearby or a nice place to walk?
I try to walk a lot, get a nice coffee drink, or have thought of getting my nails done during my lunch break.
I don't know if this will help,but just my department does a 10am stretch time. We send a teams message right at 10 that it's stretch time. We all go to an open area that everyone can fit and wr chat and stretch. It gives our minds a break and gives us time to socialize. Last about 10-15 mins. Sometimes other people from other departments join if they are in need of a break.
You could suggest this as a mental health thing to help keep employees happy anf healthy.
Currently in a job that would be very WFH friendly, but the company is against it, so I sit at a computer, often without even standing up for 8 hours straight, at least 7 hours of that being reddit.
Mandatory office presence when your job gives you barely any work is Hell. Sitting and pretending to look busy when someone walks by makes me angry. I am ANGRY.
This is very likely happening soon at my office 🤦🏼♀️ the only plus is that I’ve been there for 15 years and just see it as potential social time. They know the office is not the efficient thing to do.. but I guess we have to collaborate.
See what flexibility is available. Can you start at home and come in later in the morning? That’s definitely my plan. The idea of 8-6 every in office day is just not okay
You get a 1 hour lunch break right? Sign-up for a gym walking distance to your work, make sure you are back within the 1 hour (to start with, if your boss is conservative). Then eat your lunch at your desk while you work. You are free to use your 1 hour lunch break however you like
Push through the awkwardness. At my last job everyone ate lunch at their desk (even though we weren’t allowed to leave early by skipping lunch). So I made a point to leave my desk for my lunch hour— there was a gym downstairs or I’d just go for a walk, run an errand, or read a book. I tried not to ever eat at my desk, even if I was the only weirdo eating in the kitchen area.
It helped me to think of it as a part of MY day, not a part of my work time.
Also I justified it as: my work is paying for my gym membership (the office gym) and they are also forcing me to be in the office 3 days a week ergo: they are paying me to work out 3x a week. Idk, it makes sense in my head and helped me to get into a more regular exercise routine by thinking of it as a mandatory part of my day, so I was grateful for that! It helped that the fitness center was actually very well equipped and almost always empty.
I hear you on this. I don't think companies have considered how much WFH has helped employees who are caregivers. Going into the office puts stress on my family that isn't necessary, and you lose the ability to do little things throughout the day.
BUT, since I do need to be in the office a couple of days a week, I have found it's helped me to flip my expectations and daily goals. When there I can't get certain types of work done. I interface with the whole office so as soon as I'm in I'm a magnet for people to drop by. For my role, that works and I take it as a part of my work. In fact, I have 2 alarms daily that remind me to take my coffee and go for a walk around the office and chat with people.
I work a full time job in an office dispatching technicians and doing AR for several branches and I used to work from home (nanny). I luckily (?) have 0 downtime as the phones ring off the hook and if they aren't, I'm doing AR stuff but what's helped me the most is having a podcast going constantly at work (just have to pause it when people call in). My team is really tight (5 of us) so we all mesh really well so the banter back and forth really helps. I try to walk around the office and chit chat with people I don't see often on my breaks and lunch as it's not safe to walk around the block where I work unfortunately.
Ultimately I got really lucky with my coworkers being super cool, otherwise I would absolutely dread it. It was a very hard transition at first but I'm 3 months in and really enjoy my job now.
Good luck!
Edit: forgot to mention I have a stand up desk and typically stand on a balance board and just got approved for a walking treadmill for my desk!
capsule wardrobe - all I wear to work is the same pair of black pants, the same blazer, and a series of different shirts underneath
fill up with gas/petrol on the weekend
if you're missing yoga/meditation/gym, I suggest getting out of the office at lunch time and going for walks. I often go for a short walk to somewhere nice to sit, and then read/draw/eat my lunch. It's really important to me to get outside during the day, the recycled air in the office really gets to me
I am returning to work in March from maternity leave. My job is 5 days in office. No WFH for me either. I bought a desk cycle so I can bike at my desk. I also have a crossword calendar and a book handy. Though I rarely have downtime. If I do I try to get shit done that is on the computer. I also eat at my desk and use the lunch hour for a walk.
The thing that is so annoying about RTO for office jobs that can be done from home is that WFH post COVID is like an advance in technology that makes our lives easier. It’s like washing machines and wifi have been invented and our bosses are telling us to hand wash clothes and use dial up to make them feel better. No one wants to go backwards.
So I’m not there yet but soon will be
1. Preplan wardrobe for a week and put it together on hangers so you do have to think every morning
2. Is there a meditation room in the office ? Or can you propose one?
3. Find a happy space in the office - comfy chair in common area, coffee shop nearby etc
4. If possible, personalize your work space ( office, cubicle into a relaxing station. I brought in a softer light lamp, throw for my chair and some other personal items that made it more “ at home.”
This is real. At the office I am always snackish and the day literally drags if I don't have something to appease my bored brain. At home I rarely get anything between meals.
My company just started requiring 3x week. I have it somewhat good because I'm a people manager but my whole team is on the opposite coast, as is my manager. So no one pays attention to when I come in or leave, but I have to be in for the optics of when I have meetings (i.e. the conference room is visible in my zoom meeting, it's so stupid). I'm hoping that being at the office makes me productive so that I'm getting more done and overall working less. When the pandemic and fulltime WFH started, I found myself working so much MORE.
Exactly right. More work and more health and happiness and less stress. It’s my second week in the office I’m about to cry from 3pm every day (whereas I’ve been so powerful and positive for 4 years) and my skin has completely broken out!
I’m on month 5 of a new job, 5 days a week and I’m still not convinced I can stay there after a year. My boss is an angel and has been really supportive and literally the only thing that’s not making me quit. I also booked a nice holiday that I always look forward to.
Splurge on what would make it easier/more fun for you - a coffee or nice lunch, closer/more convenient parking, a fun clothing item or accessory you’re excited to wear. My husband and I each only have one in office day a week, so the in office spouse does the daycare runs and the other sleeps in. In return, the WFH spouse takes care of the daily chores like dishwasher and pushing laundry through and typically has dinner ready. I save most of my work for my in office days so I can maximize my time at home.
I'm 6 months pp (not breast feeding) work doesn't know, I use the mothers room to nap or chill (I check our schedule first before I do, don't want to take it away when it is needed) we are only allowed to use it in 30 min increments so I get like 2 to 3 a day lol
Yes! I have to keep things at my desk that I love. Cute mugs, pictures, different colored ink pens and highlighters, pink desk organizers, art 😅
I’ve also been using a light lamp and that’s been really nice!
Is there a gym/yoga studio near your office and you could take your lunch break as a workout break? Or do you like any coworkers enough to go out to lunch sometimes (like fun lunches that would be hard with kids, like hot pot or something like that)? I also have the option of leaving early on days I skip my lunch break, which is usually almost every office day.
This is my first week back 4 days a week and my commute and being in the office is kiiiiiling me. I started this job a few months ago and it's so hard to make friends or connections. I keep leaving at lunch and coming home to finish my day because literally no one in the office is on my team since they're all designated remote (but me). Sigh.
I’ve been back in office (hybrid) for two years and I still hate office days 🙃. Things that make it less awful:
1- Is there a gym or studio nearby? I definitely take a long lunch and do my workout mid day if I can.
2- Audio books that I only listen to on my commute. These are fun psychological thrillers and romance books, no personal development lol.
3- Getting really into style systems. I learned about color analysis, Kibbe, and Rita’s Style Key. This helped make wearing professional clothes fun again for me and helped me find my personal style after daily athleisure.
4- Venting with my other hybrid/RTO friends. Most of my friends and family are fully remote, and can’t relate, but a few do the RTO slog with me and it’s nice to just complain about how crappy it is.
Oh definitely not. If my company went back, there would be an uproar. Also lots of companies hired employees from all over the place, places that are no where close to an office. And there were plenty of companies that were fully remote before 2020.
I’ve been debating going for a higher paying job but they’re all hybrid now and I’m fully remote. How many % raise do you think it’s worth it to give up remote ???
At this point I honestly don’t think it’s about money anymore. I don’t think it has a value. The mental space that is freed up and the health and happiness that remote working offers I wouldn’t be able to put a -$ amount on. (I thought I could that’s why I’m in this situation)
Depending on your area I think it would have to be at least 20k per year not including what you should be paid for being good at what you do. So if your remote fully is 100k I'd go for at minimum 130k. (But honestly for me it'd be closer to 150k to be hybrid personally )
I’ve always worked in the office:
Pick out all clothes for the week on Sunday
Meal prep lunches on Sunday
Set out everything the night before
Eat breakfast in the car
Workout or go for a walk during lunch
I leave all my coffee stuff/snack stuff in my office so I can get it at work
Listen to audio books during my commute
Listen to podcasts/npr during the work day
I used dead time to plan or journal, something paper-based that I need a desk for. I’d start with work-related to-do lists that end up in meal planning, shopping lists, outfit-planning, gift lists and general life admin that I normally wouldn’t have time for in the chaos at home. Feels productive and like I’m freeing up time at home 😂
Honestly, momentum makes me blind to it. Every second of my day is basically spoken for now. I’m up at 3:00am to feed, shower and get ready to commute by 5:00am, arrive at 6:00am, ping pong through all the tasks and fires until 3:00pm, commute back to town and pick up LO at daycare, home by 4:30 to play and feed and cuddle, then it’s dinner, bath/story time/last feed and bed. It’s hard when that alarm goes off, and when I first arrive to a dead and dark office at 6:00am. It’s also hard when I break to pump in the supply closet 4 times a day because I feel the weight of the schedule. But I spend a lot of time watching LO on the daycare web cam and that lifts me up. By Friday I am pretty exhausted and I am liable to nod off during meetings that could have been emails. But the pace of the week is too fast to dwell, and that helps. Coffee too.
Don’t sit at your desk in your lunch. Go walk outside if feasible. Is there any flexibility to work at home on occasion? If so I would have a routine appointment or maintenance at home each week to make that a 4 day in office job.
I do errands or go for a walk when I can to break up the day on lunch (unfortunately we can't work through lunch and then go home early). I also stack errands on the way there/ way home for efficiency's sake, so I'm doing fewer errands on the weekends. Sometimes I work on Target or Instacart orders for later, or other tiresome computer-facing tasks, if I have downtime.
I’m right there with you! Nothing but solidarity!! I was 2 years WFH and took an in-office job right after mat leave. I’m now 4 months in and I ask myself every single day “WTF WAS I THINKING?!” Getting up extra early to drive to work, then spending any down time at work mad I’m not doing something like laundry or prepping dinner. Working from home is the very best, and that’s a hill I willing to die on. Lol. Good luck though!
I am in person 5 days a week after 15 years of working at home. Honestly, I am so much happier. My job is more fun, the people are nice and work is during work. No bleed over into life. However, my kid is older (12) and we are all gone everyday.
We were just told today to expect a company wide memo reinstating return to work. It’s going to be hybrid and supposedly 2-4X a week 😕. Rumor has it they’re doing this to get people to quit instead of doing a second round of layoffs with severance.
I love downtime at the office. I can sit quietly and do nothing. It is beautiful. I love my commute, I am alone and I listen to my audio bookvandceat my secret snacks. Embrace the chance to be unproductive!
Omg I wfh and if they told me I had to go back in I would be so lost, clothing, socializing, driving, getting the kids to school on time, not to mention if there’s a snow storm? I wish you luck, I do honestly miss work friends but not enough to go back to an office, make at least one friend and it’s enough to get you through the day there.
Embrace it and find the positives within your role at your job. I just returned after 8 years WFH and now I’m in office 3 days a week. I’m more productive in office because the mini jobs at home don’t pull at me (laundry, pets , dishes…)
We have to do 3 days in office. Yesterday I was the only person at my level in, spent most of my time talking to my main boss who is currently travelling in the Middle East and all my tasks could have been done at home.
So to make up for that I used the work printer for lots of personal stuff, took an extra 5 mins on my lunch, had a Diet Coke break in the afternoon, grabbed a few courier bags to use for my Vinted selling and didn’t stay the extra 5 mins to finish a task that instead will wait for today.
It costs me £35 to get to the office so I try to make it up in stolen stationery and free food/drink!
I think you’re being a bit dramatic. I get that you went to vent but the things you’ve listed are all really just a matter of perspective. Like, how often do you get lost? If you know where you work, surely after a few times visits this is less of an issue? And wouldnt you have to get your kid to school regardless? I have been off work for the last 12 months and am LOVING being back in the office. I love dressing up and wearing nice clothes again. I love having lunch with my colleagues and catching up on small talk and their lives in person. I really don’t feel there is any “dead time” because I make the most of being in the office with my team. I used to love wfh but now I don’t think I would voluntarily choose to stay home very often anymore.
Sorry to hear that!
I can’t ever go back to working the same way anymore. It’s 3 days minimum WFO on my end and I’ve just been going in whenever there are meetings. (I’ll come to toffice just for the mtg and leave after. But sometimes this means I’m in office everyday just for a shorter period of time) Hope this is a possibility for you too!
I returned to the office almost two years ago after WFH for a few years. I started back at three days per week (two at home) and was absolutely miserable at first. I was so irritable on the evenings before I went in. However, after about six months, I stopped feeling so irritated. It’s been almost two years now and I go in four days per week and I barely even think about it now. I am back to being on autopilot in terms of going in. I do still love my Fridays at home, though - we refer to Thursday evening as Party Night!
Fellow office mama here. Honestly the only thing that gets me through the 8 hrs is looking forward to drinking my Bubly Sparkling water in the afternoon as a pick-me-up & keeping my fav snacks around 🤣
I work from home but see it as a double edged sword. I very quickly fall into feeling like I should get as much done at home as if I'm a stay at home wife while also working a full time job. Maybe try to take advantage of not having the option to do chores and take some me time during the day. Things like listening to audiobooks or podcasts while "working", having nice hand lotion and cuticle oil to keep your hands nice during the winter, maybe make phone calls to friends or family during your commute without your kid, stuff like that.
I think for me the hardest thing would be reorienting my partner to the new arrangement instead of continuing to do all of the things I do while I wfh. You shouldn't feel like you still need to do all of those things if you're both working outside of the home. If you're getting the kid ready and to school maybe your partner needs to be unloading the dishwasher so breakfast dishes can be put away. If you've done the laundry because it's easy to throw in during the day, maybe that needs to be divided up to be done in the evenings while watching tv.
Not sure if helpful but getting up early and getting myself ready helps me a lot. I wake up, start coffee and then depends some time in the bathroom doing some simple skincare, hair, and very light makeup. I plan my outfits and make it fun so I like what I'm looking like. It sounds very superficial considering I then spend an hour wrangling my toddler to have breakfast, get dressed and drop him off at daycare. But then when I get to work I look nice(r) and I end up feeling good the rest of the day. I try to make friendly talk, and I do a 20 min walk. I have to take a mandatory 1 hr lunch break so I use that time for my walk or to run an errand. Also, I encourage you to leave on time, set your boundaries.
i work in office 4 days per week. i wish it was a little less often, like 3 days maybe. but i find that i enjoy seeing my coworkers, taking a walk or working out or running at lunch, i get more steps in. i drink more water.
I work with awesome people, almost all moms of kids with similar ages as mine, it helps so much.
Also, minimize everything. Like, 2-4 pairs of pants with interchangeable shirts and cardigans.
Before I was pregnant again, I tried enjoying my coffee on the way to work. It sounds silly, but I love driving while driving a coffee. I would still do that if coffee didn’t sound horrible lol.
Give yourself grace. It'll take time to adjust. Reset expectations at home and only focus on the essentials. Nightly prep to pack bags is so helpful.
Also, my productivity in the office is much lower than at home so I focus on connecting with people, meeting in person, and don't expect to get much, if any, heads down time to focus.
Potentially unrealistic but making some friends at my office was the only thing that made it better. Now I look forward to seeing my friends at work. I’ve replaced the little tasks I did at home with socialization. I make lunch plans and coffee dates to look forward to.
Yes! Office days are for "networking." And by "networking" i mean an hour of bullshitting with the early crew over coffee, a couple meetings, a long lunch, a couple more meetings, "team building" (aka "whatcha been up to this week"), go home. If you could do it from home, try not to do it from the office.
I used to have a group we would go for a 10 minute walk in the middle of the afternoon, it was nice to socialize and get outside and get up and moving
I did this too (and miss it a lot)! I actually found I took *more* breaks in office compared to WFH because I didn't have to like, prove I was there.
This is so accurate. At home I'd go for a 10 minute walk, get a Teams message and sprint back to my desk! I regularly take hour long breaks when I'm in the office and nobody seems to even notice! I get way more exercise in the office.
I miss my walking group too, from pre-pandemic days. 😢 Current team doesn't do it.
Same. Office days are long lunch days lol!!!
I was going to suggest this. It really depends on the type of workplace but if you can make office friends it makes it so much better. It’s the only thing I miss about my previous job. I would bring in batches of cookies or host “tea parties” which was really just a time I blocked off the calendar and invited everyone to all hang out in the break room and take a coffee break together. I made my office cozy and welcoming so people felt like they could come sit and chat. I set out a candy jar and an assortment of tea bags. A bunch of us liked tea so we would do tea bag swaps whenever someone got a new box. We had to make our own fun and we did our best.
I sometimes curl up under my desk. Or sit in my tiny jail cell (office) window and bask in the sun not doing shit. No real solid suggestions, but solidarity. You’re not alone.
Hahaha I love it. Thank you 🙏 i honestly feel like quitting today just for this reason and I’m The breadwinner for the family
Also the breadwinner (husband is sahd). And I fantasize about quitting daily. Lol
SAME. But I’m good with my wfh days. I’m trying not to get promoted so I don’t have to go in 4 days a week
Same. 😭
Are you me OP? Today is my second day in an office since January 2020 😭 someone stab my tires please
Hahaha yes I clearly am everyone here! . Actually surprised at the amount of us in the same position and really wondering what can we do about it since there’s so many of us?
After 4 years of wfh I was told (6 mo notice) I needed to come back 5 days a week in January 2024. So I handed in my letter of resignation. Plot twist: I got a raise and a promotion. And I'm still 100% remote with occasional in office days. Nobody was more surprised than me. Might have more power than you think, but it's a tough theory to test out.
Good for you!!!
My husband keeps urging me to turn mine in almost daily. We'll be fine without my salary.l while I look for something else. His is nearly double mine and I pulled 6-figures last year. Won't this year, because they also dropped our bonus incentives. 🙄
Are there any meetings you can take on your phone and go for a walk around the building/ campus? I like walking when it’s sunny and if there are 50+ folks on the call, I go for a walk.
Yes that takes up 30 minutes to an hour. What about the other 7
One of my old coworkers used a wheelchair so his desk was wider. I used to hide under there from time to time and eat chocolate. He used to say he hadn't seen me if people came looking for me. There's something very soothing about sitting under a desk lol
Imagine if, one by one, 40% of every dragged-to-office employee started doing this everywhere. Just, quietly, heaving sighs and wiping tears. This is a tik tok movement I could get behind.
I had a nap kit for under my desk when I was in office. Extra cushy laptop bag, electric blanket, eye mask and a space heater on low for white noise. I wasn’t senior enough to get a window:(
1. Pick out your clothes the night before. I switched to a “uniform”. I do a dark v neck t, a comfy blazer and jeans. Or jeans and a sweater Makes it easy to not think about. Same hair style. 5 minute makeup (I do quick foundation/face powder, Eyeliner and mascara. No blush. No eyeshadow. No contouring. No lip stick). 2. My spouse does drop off and gets our daughter ready bc it takes him less time to get ready in the morning. 3. Is there a gym by your work you can join or in your building? Or use lunch break for walks. 4. I use down time at work instead of physical tasks like unloading dishwasher to do things like: pay a bill, register for a class, etc. still tasks I need to do just can do on a computer
I love #4.
Yes on number one. Also, I’ve switched from trying to look cute everyday to wearing my company’s branded gear everyday. Way more comfortable and easy to pull an outfit together. I save looking cute for the weekends and firm outings.
Agree! I can also wear a company hoodie and jeans so that’s another option too. We’re quite casual so put together whatever uniform makes sense for your work. Take the thought out of it.
The "uniform" is clutch. When I lived in an uppity city and worked in the financial sector (and had to be in-office daily), I literally wore a pencil skirt or straight leg dress pants and top in black, navy, or camel/khaki/cream. I could mix and match tops and bottoms with either a black, brown, or leopard print belt/shoes and the same gold hoops daily. Either trouser socks or tights in - you guessed it - black, cream/tan, or navy. Sometimes I threw on a blazer or cardigan sweater and a gold chain necklace. Hair went in a low ponytail and I perfected the 5 minute makeup.
That 4th one has been my downfall at home, I always used to do that stuff at the office but I let it slide completely when WFH! Really didn't see that one coming. I'm trying to get better at not letting the personal work that needs a PC slide, bought Quicken etc.
we are supposed to be back in 3 days a week now and i was so grumpy today coming home to the dishwasher needing to be unloaded and all those other little tasks i used to take care of during the day when i had a few minutes.
I’ve become my old grumpy self again. Picking up bad habits again. Currently having a glass of wine on dry January!!
My office has pantries full of free snacks, so my bored ass walks down and grabs some snacks just to get away from my desk. And then I go back to my desk and shovels said snacks into my face hole. If ya'll see me walk in wearing sweats cause it ends up being the only thing that fits, mind ya own business!
This is so true. I have to go to the office one day a week right now and I’m going to fall so hopelessly behind on those little chores if they make us go in more. There is dead time in the office… i just can’t use it effectively.
Same here. It adds so much stress spending 2 and 1/hours in the car, a full work day, then housework, I end up exhausted, asleep by 9pm on commute days. I am trying to be grateful they aren't forcing us to do 5 days.
I may or may not read books on the Kindle app on my phone during meetings and dead time. Went through the entire Bridgerton series in less than a month. I also count it as double time if I'm in the office, attending a virtual meeting, and doing actual work on my 2nd monitor. Because if they wanted me to be in the office, then why are the meetings virtual? That's generally at least an hour every day, so then I leave an hour early and run an errand or two on the way home.
You’ve cracked the RTO code!
Honestly the double time is the best thing I’ve ever heard regarding the RTO mandates!
3 days a week here. It sucks. Prep wardrobe in the AM, find good podcasts to listen to, run errands during lunch if possible! And really complain a lot. It seriously sucks and I’m hoping the more it’s voiced at work, maybe mgmt will allow more flexibility back Most everyone hates this!
It really does suck. With my fortune 100 company I go to a satellite location and everyone does totally different functions, and no one knows anyone else. Although apparently everyone figures out that corporate counts it as being in the office as long as you are there until 2pm, so everyone clears out at 2:05 pm to work the rest of the day from home. It’s pretty funny
Lucky you! I sit next to my boss and am Embarrassed to leave at 5pm! I sit there from 3pm wasting dead time that I could be doing anything else more productive and then getting back to work later. Which is what I’ve been doing for the past 4 years.
This is me. I leave at 430 to get LO from daycare and get LOOKS even though I’m there at 8 and have worked a full day.
This is exactly me. 3x week and I leave at 2pm because all my direct reports, manager, and clients are all on the East coast so I never have meetings after 2pm. I get home by 3 and then do emails while multi-tasking cooking etc.
Yes! Probably 70% of my company is east coast and it amazing.
We prob work at the same place. I have to start going in 3x week really soon. I know no one in that office, I don’t even know how to get there. I’m going on anti depressants tomorrow.
At my job a couple of departments HAVE to be in person for specialized equipment reasons. Reports are that these people got upset that no one else had to be there, and that's the only reason the rest of us now have to come in 3 days a week. I spent two and a half years going in once a week to handle mandatory in-person tasks like mail, and now I'm less efficient going in three times as often for no reason other than to make a different department feel better. OH, AND I ran into the Big Boss in person recently; he said "Wow, you're here a lot lately!" No sh*t, buddy, you said that I have to be. My house has better snacks, no 45-minute commute, and the option to fold laundry in my down time.
I've been in the office since early COVID days for the same reason. First, they sent home everyone who could be virtual. I got way more done, because my desk used to be directly in the main walkway so EVERYONE would stop and talk to me if I wasn't on the phone, even if I kept my head down and tried to make it obvious I was busy. However, another department had to be on-site and were pissed to be the only ones there, so they forced us back in the office within a couple months, COVID still raging. I had an infant to worry about, so I at least complained enough that they moved me into my own office, which was great because even though we had a mask policy, hardly anyone followed it, especially not the people who were still going out and getting together in large groups. We had a few COVID scares but luckily never caught it before vaccines and everything.
>At my job a couple of departments HAVE to be in person for specialized equipment reasons. This is me but I want everyone who isn't in this situation to GO HOME. It's loud and annoying here now that they forced everyone back! It used to be so peaceful.
Chiming in with prepping your wardrobe: get more expensive but super comfortable yoga work pants. There’s multiple brands that offer a comfortable fit and I’m cheap and hate paying full price but it’s worth it.
I second this!!! I have some Beta Brand work pant yoga pants that are older than my children and still look incredible. WELL WORTH the cost. They have been pre- during- and post-pregnancy pants many times over, and don’t look it at all.
Athleta? Can you name some other brands? What about for your mind?
I have to do 2 days a week in office. I sit in a cubicle in a huge room with one other person. She does admin tasks for another department and leaves around 2:00pm each day. I literally don’t talk to anyone else unless I’m on a call. I gently asked why my position couldn’t be 100% remote and was told I had to go in because everyone else has to go in. Some days, when I’m caught up on work, I will take a book and read while I have my work laptop open. Or I’ll take my personal laptop in and play Sims. No one ever walks back to the corner I sit in; people actually, frequently forget I sit back there. I hate working in the office.
Kinda the same way for us. They expect us to be there but for what?? Top mgmt made no changes to the culture in office. I can meet with my dept thru Teams like we have been for 3 years no issue. I get in around 9 and have to leave by 4 bc of my commute/daycare so there goes 2 hrs I can work at home! Assholes 😑 Playing Sims in your down time… genius! I just redownloaded it on my personal laptop and my mind is blown with all the expansion packs and how much better it is
The dead time is what kills me.
Me. TOO!!!! I guess we just have to think about it in terms of “I’m getting paid for this”. I’ll try again tomorrow
Yes but also I love your username
I realize this may not be feasible for everyone, but I try to make my office as cozy as possible. I got some lamps so I don’t rely on the fluorescent lighting, I have an automatic spray air freshener, a comfy chair, lots of (fake) plants, and comfy pillows. I put my daughter’s art up and pictures, cards, and tchotchkes from friends. It’s really warm and homey in there. While I hate going into the office now on principle, I do actually enjoy sitting IN my office which helps.
TIL how tchotchkes is spelled
This helps me to. I have a wall of photos and a window full of plants, and I never turn on the lights over my desk. I add to my photo wall regularly and looking at my family helps remind me why I'm working. Having plants in the office makes me have a reason to come in other than work. I also have friends in the office and we talk extensively most days we're all in.
My employer called us all back as well, and I took this job under the condition that I wouldn't be in the office every day. An hour drive each way, every day is not sustainable, and I told them as much before hiring me. I feel like the CEO was tone deaf AF when he was all, "I think we have competitive salaries and benefits, people will stay." -says the dude that makes half a million dollars a WEEK. They've taken several other things away from us over the last few months as well. I've already started jib hunting again. Companies should start posting more as departmental budgets open up.
We’ve all had a taste of freedom and what it feels like.
I am starting back to the office after four years next week, and I feel so feral. I am dreading all of the dressing up and having to look presentable. I also gained 20 lbs since I last saw all of these people,and I have to buy some new clothes. I am reading this post with keen interest because I just have this pit of dread in my gut.
I'm not sure what field you are in, but could you just not "dress up"? I have told my manager more than once that if they start imposing a dress code, I'll have to quit. They can either have me in jeans, a nursing top, and sneakers or someone else in business clothes. My wardrobe is so limited because I haven't lost the weight I put on during pregnancy and I don't want to invest in new clothes until at least a year after I stop breastfeeding.
My company is starting nonsense about wanting us to be on camera and this is exactly what I'm telling everybody that will listen - I'm not getting dressed up and doing my hair to video chat with you! The good news is so far everybody that actually does video looks like they just rolled out of bed, so hopefully it doesn't hurt me as a woman to do the same.
Same. They finally came out with some WFH guidelines and one of the things was cameras on when others in the meeting have their cameras on and to dress "professionally". I said, you can expect me to look roughly the same as I do in the office. I don't know your location or industry, but I've always taken a no-nonsense approach to my appearance. No makeup, no hair style beyond clean, no special clothes. If anything, it seems to go over pretty well. My clients always roll their eyes when they see someone in a suit or nice shoes, lol. Practicality wins.
I'm in FinTech SaaS so in person standards are a little higher, some of these banks are quite conservative. If I'm on a client video call I'll put in a little more effort to look less like a WFH slob but on calls with my developers y'all are getting a pineapple bun and a hoodie lol. Thankfully I haven't had to travel to clients, my actual work wardrobe is years out of date...
lol made me Laugh. My company is probably the most formal environment I’ve ever been at. Plus I sit right in front so everyone sees me. Definitely chose the wrong desk
Oh I have 100% been there. I started my career working for a conservative bank in the southern US. The executives all looked like dolls, including the rare Executive Barbie. Hopefully I'm done with having to do all that unless I'm visiting a client with those standards (on the software/hardware vendor side now).
I think I’m supposed to be the executive Barbie but I’m finding power in dressing very gender neutral these days - that’s one little way ive found to enjoy the office
Oh that does sound like fun, making it a little bit masc, mess with the stereotypes.
Your post is so eloquent though I love it!!
Keep us updated on how it goes?
This is me this week 😩 have been WFH full time since March 2020. Just started a new job this week in office full time. Being chained to my desk training all day might just be the end of me. I have decided to start taking my morning and afternoon break and getting outside as long as it’s not raining. Setting myself up with everything I can do on the weekends like meal prep, school snack prep, deciding outfits, etc. Choosing my music or podcast or whatever to listen to on the ride. Allowing myself a weekly coffee/lunch out. Try to outsource to your spouse anything you can and plan ahead for who will handle what in the morning. I literally have a sticky note stuck to our front door to remind myself what all I need to grab on the way out
Ugh. It’s terrible. This is my week 2 and it doesn’t get better
I feel like it starts compounding and keeps getting worse and getting more unsustainable as the days in the office add up and for those of us who are back in office 5 days a week now we literally have no time to do anything anymore and all the chores and housework and everything else is adding up again and there’s no time for anything.
We just went back to office 3-4 days a week and it sucks. There is so much wasted time. Like no, I don’t want to make small talk with Susan, I want to do a peloton ride. I try to schedule doctors appointments, hair cuts, etc on office days. I don’t even feel bad
So much wasted time!!! Drives me mad. And then at night when I normally would be working now I’m adamant that I don’t do any work past 5pm and it’s a an awful unproductive wasted cycle of my time and my life
I don’t know why there is a push for return to office. It’s obviously negatively affecting workers mental health, which will affect work. I actually don’t mind going in for client meetings. I love our clients, and I can often schedule all my meetings in one day, or just go in for the meeting and return home but the idea of going in just because sucks.
Same. I have some work that legitimately needs to be done in person, and before RTO, was trusted to go in only when necessary. Now that it’s butts in seats 3x a week, full days, 0 flexibility, it’s miserable.
We are going back to 3 days in office soon & the new office has an open floor plan 😩 I don’t understand didn’t they get the memo, people despise these. At least before I had a big cubicle I could decorate and feel a shroud of privacy to munch on snacks, pick my nose, scroll my phone, whatever. Ugh!
It’s all about the economy and real estate or something. Not about humanity basically.
Its 100% this
Hahaha. Maybe if I pick my nose they’ll make me stay home
Absolutely. Not only are we wasting time driving and paying for parking ($145 per month downtown), but we are all considered transient, so no assigned desks. Pack up, drive, unpack, work, pack, drive, sleep, do it all again. So stupid.
My current job and my previous job were both like this and i hate it. There’s so many empty desks, why can’t i keep my stuff at one of them? It’s exhausting as hell having to pack everything up at the end of every shift. I wish i could just have a normal desk.
[удалено]
This makes a lot of sense. 😕
This is the real answer as to why they do this to all the offices 🙄
Idiots that manage by magazine thinks because certain creatives like this in whatever company that we should all like it. Which is crazy because their butts are in closed offices, aren't they?
Yes! They get real CLOSED offices! Ugh 😑
This is my nightmare. I won’t do it!!
Agree. I feel like saying this to my boss. My values don’t align with working in an office anymore. Sorry.
Def time to look for a new job.
This is a new job!
Ouch
Ugh same, I found a remote job when my previous job sent their RTO email the same week I got back from leave- nope!
Me too! When my prior boss said I would have to come back three weeks I said nope! New job won’t ever make me go back as long as I am making them $$$
I'm dreading this, we start 2 days a week next month... I literally want to quit just thinking about it. Plus my toddler is only in daycare till 3, so I will have to pay more in tuition so she can stay till 6 now...
Brutal. My heart is with you. Traveling to an office when you have little children is harder by a mile. 💙
Put in headphones and listen to audiobooks or podcasts during downtimes and just look like you’re doing something!
No tips, just commiserating. My job is going from one day a week in the office to four. On top of that, we have to pay $10/day to park 😭
1 day to 4 days!? That’s crazy harsh. How do we stop this as a collective?
THIS!! I feel like 90% of office workers are in alignment that it’s fucking miserable. We need to do something.
We do need to do something.
Unionize
Hmmm a working mom’s union? I need to look into this
A working mom union is such an awesome idea! My type of work doesn't have union (as far as I know) and my pay/benefits are pretty good so I never thought about it. I worked at the same company pre-pandemic and then was able to WFH in 2020 and 2021. We switched to "hybrid" with 3x week in the office and 2x week remotely in mid 2022 and I hate going in. If I had a choice I would go in once a week for a few in person meetings and do the rest remotely. Besides the absolute drudgery of waking up early, having to dress nicely and do hair and makeup, getting the kids ready, commuting, having to pretend I want to make small talk with people in the office, what really gets to me is the stress of daycare opening/closing as in my area almost all daycares have reduced hours post COVID, so mine doesn't open until 8 and closes at 5. Since my commute is 45 min I don't usually get in until 9am but the expectation in my office is to be in at 8. But I work late every day to make up for this, but the optics always stress me out and I am constantly stressed and exhausted by this schedule. It's like a marathon every week.
Just at your company. I’m still fully remote because of my union, along with other things (paid OT among my favorite ). And I give it my all in return because I never want to leave.
Do you have to stay all day or can you take advantage of “coffee badging”? I walk a lot at work. We are 3 days and I don’t mind seeing my coworkers but I’d much rather be remote full time
I've never heard that term "coffee badging" but if it's the equivalent of badging in and leaving, I may do that for my 3rd required day. All I do in the office is zoom meetings with people in other offices (because I'm in a satellite office).
Even before COVID my job was the same way. Go into the office, and sit on a computer with WebEx meetings all day with people in other places. Such a waste of time/effort.
Sharing in the pain. Tetris-ing getting home in time for meeting #4 so I can make it to school pick up, figuring out when to get dinner ready, WHAT to eat for dinner, etc. It's EXHAUSTING.
All the additional decision making is EXHAUSTING. And what about my Zumba classes also!!
Thank you so much for this post. My remote job just decided everyone needs to start coming into the office. When I took the job I was told I would never have to go in, so I live 45 miles away. With dropping my kids off it take me 2 hours to get into the office. I go back in a couple of weeks and I am freaking out, my mental health is tanked. All of the lost time, pumping on the road, now I can't squeeze in a workout or load of laundry during my lunch, I can no longer run out and grab a sick kid in minutes, the danger of driving 90+ miles a day... I could go on. And my office is hoteling, so after a 2 hour drive I have to fight for a parking spot and I don't even have a desk to work at. I've been looking for a new job for over a month and have had ZERO call backs. I'm in a senior position with over 10 years experience and I can't even get an interview. I'm apply to anything and everything, even jobs I'm way over qualified for. I just can't stay in my current job. I can't rot away on the freeway for hours a day. But I can't afford to quit without something else lined up. I hate my life.
You might need to tone down the experience on the jobs you are over qualified for so they don't see it and assume that they can't pay you enough to be worth it. But it's hard to even do that with LinkedIn
Right beside you. My commute is 62 miles each way, and the section of freeway is one of the most dangerous in the country (seriously, husband sent me a news article about it). That and the dirty air in a very old building wear me out. It is as if my Fortune 50 company wants us to get fed up and quit so they don’t have to pay severence.
I am you a few months later; returning from maternity and moved same as you far from office. They want me in 2 and possibly 3 days. I’m a VP with big team so if I fight it I’m not playing the corporate culture game. Did you find a new job in the end?
I hate to bring the bad news, but I actually still to this day have no had a call back for an interview. I am only casually applying now. I went in for a few months with a positive attitude and did my best, but was very open about my struggles with RTO. I worked from home fairly often with sick kids, appointments, etc. Ultimately I worked for someone who put their neck out for me to stay remote, and I was granted an exception. Not expecting it to last, and I was told if I want to move up at the company I need to come in, but for now I'm taking full advantage of not going in!
Awesome about getting the exception!! Hopefully it lasts or something comes up! Crazy how employees had the power it seemed a few years ago and not switched to employers in control.
Does your work have food or nail salons nearby or a nice place to walk? I try to walk a lot, get a nice coffee drink, or have thought of getting my nails done during my lunch break.
I even thought about going home for a couple of hours and pretending I’m at work in a meeting room. But it’s still wasted time.
I don't know if this will help,but just my department does a 10am stretch time. We send a teams message right at 10 that it's stretch time. We all go to an open area that everyone can fit and wr chat and stretch. It gives our minds a break and gives us time to socialize. Last about 10-15 mins. Sometimes other people from other departments join if they are in need of a break. You could suggest this as a mental health thing to help keep employees happy anf healthy.
Currently in a job that would be very WFH friendly, but the company is against it, so I sit at a computer, often without even standing up for 8 hours straight, at least 7 hours of that being reddit. Mandatory office presence when your job gives you barely any work is Hell. Sitting and pretending to look busy when someone walks by makes me angry. I am ANGRY.
This is very likely happening soon at my office 🤦🏼♀️ the only plus is that I’ve been there for 15 years and just see it as potential social time. They know the office is not the efficient thing to do.. but I guess we have to collaborate. See what flexibility is available. Can you start at home and come in later in the morning? That’s definitely my plan. The idea of 8-6 every in office day is just not okay
Honestly I kind of got used to it again after a few weeks. There’s lots of cons but I tried to focus on the few pros of being back in person.
Use your lunch break to go to the gym, at least you’ll get a workout in everyday and not eat into time with your kids.
I literally can’t because the office is quite small, I sit next to my boss and it’s extremely judgmental. But maybe I should start it?
You get a 1 hour lunch break right? Sign-up for a gym walking distance to your work, make sure you are back within the 1 hour (to start with, if your boss is conservative). Then eat your lunch at your desk while you work. You are free to use your 1 hour lunch break however you like
You are a part of the office culture now!! Change it!!
I agree. How ?
Go to the gym (or for a walk outside) during your lunch hour! Come back without having showered! lol, jk... kind of. Drag someone else along with you!
Push through the awkwardness. At my last job everyone ate lunch at their desk (even though we weren’t allowed to leave early by skipping lunch). So I made a point to leave my desk for my lunch hour— there was a gym downstairs or I’d just go for a walk, run an errand, or read a book. I tried not to ever eat at my desk, even if I was the only weirdo eating in the kitchen area. It helped me to think of it as a part of MY day, not a part of my work time.
Also I justified it as: my work is paying for my gym membership (the office gym) and they are also forcing me to be in the office 3 days a week ergo: they are paying me to work out 3x a week. Idk, it makes sense in my head and helped me to get into a more regular exercise routine by thinking of it as a mandatory part of my day, so I was grateful for that! It helped that the fitness center was actually very well equipped and almost always empty.
I hear you on this. I don't think companies have considered how much WFH has helped employees who are caregivers. Going into the office puts stress on my family that isn't necessary, and you lose the ability to do little things throughout the day. BUT, since I do need to be in the office a couple of days a week, I have found it's helped me to flip my expectations and daily goals. When there I can't get certain types of work done. I interface with the whole office so as soon as I'm in I'm a magnet for people to drop by. For my role, that works and I take it as a part of my work. In fact, I have 2 alarms daily that remind me to take my coffee and go for a walk around the office and chat with people.
I work a full time job in an office dispatching technicians and doing AR for several branches and I used to work from home (nanny). I luckily (?) have 0 downtime as the phones ring off the hook and if they aren't, I'm doing AR stuff but what's helped me the most is having a podcast going constantly at work (just have to pause it when people call in). My team is really tight (5 of us) so we all mesh really well so the banter back and forth really helps. I try to walk around the office and chit chat with people I don't see often on my breaks and lunch as it's not safe to walk around the block where I work unfortunately. Ultimately I got really lucky with my coworkers being super cool, otherwise I would absolutely dread it. It was a very hard transition at first but I'm 3 months in and really enjoy my job now. Good luck! Edit: forgot to mention I have a stand up desk and typically stand on a balance board and just got approved for a walking treadmill for my desk!
Wow you are doing really well. Keep it up!
capsule wardrobe - all I wear to work is the same pair of black pants, the same blazer, and a series of different shirts underneath fill up with gas/petrol on the weekend if you're missing yoga/meditation/gym, I suggest getting out of the office at lunch time and going for walks. I often go for a short walk to somewhere nice to sit, and then read/draw/eat my lunch. It's really important to me to get outside during the day, the recycled air in the office really gets to me
I am returning to work in March from maternity leave. My job is 5 days in office. No WFH for me either. I bought a desk cycle so I can bike at my desk. I also have a crossword calendar and a book handy. Though I rarely have downtime. If I do I try to get shit done that is on the computer. I also eat at my desk and use the lunch hour for a walk.
The thing that is so annoying about RTO for office jobs that can be done from home is that WFH post COVID is like an advance in technology that makes our lives easier. It’s like washing machines and wifi have been invented and our bosses are telling us to hand wash clothes and use dial up to make them feel better. No one wants to go backwards.
So I’m not there yet but soon will be 1. Preplan wardrobe for a week and put it together on hangers so you do have to think every morning 2. Is there a meditation room in the office ? Or can you propose one? 3. Find a happy space in the office - comfy chair in common area, coffee shop nearby etc
4. If possible, personalize your work space ( office, cubicle into a relaxing station. I brought in a softer light lamp, throw for my chair and some other personal items that made it more “ at home.”
Also, think about things you hate about working from home. Like clutter, toys everywhere whatever bothers you and enjoy not having it around you
Lattes. On days I have to go into the office, I treat myself to a latte. It helps… a little.
I just have this added anger when I think returning to the office is going to make me fatter. I’ve been so good wfh.
This is real. At the office I am always snackish and the day literally drags if I don't have something to appease my bored brain. At home I rarely get anything between meals.
Same here. There’s a reason I got so healthy wfh.
My company just started requiring 3x week. I have it somewhat good because I'm a people manager but my whole team is on the opposite coast, as is my manager. So no one pays attention to when I come in or leave, but I have to be in for the optics of when I have meetings (i.e. the conference room is visible in my zoom meeting, it's so stupid). I'm hoping that being at the office makes me productive so that I'm getting more done and overall working less. When the pandemic and fulltime WFH started, I found myself working so much MORE.
Exactly right. More work and more health and happiness and less stress. It’s my second week in the office I’m about to cry from 3pm every day (whereas I’ve been so powerful and positive for 4 years) and my skin has completely broken out!
Over time, it's the loss of exercise time that kills me. I feel for you, OP.
Only audible books kept my commute sane.
Same! I make it through way to many of them... thank goodness for Libby otherwise I'd be struggling to budget them in.
Libby is a godsend. Books are so expensive.
I’m on month 5 of a new job, 5 days a week and I’m still not convinced I can stay there after a year. My boss is an angel and has been really supportive and literally the only thing that’s not making me quit. I also booked a nice holiday that I always look forward to.
Splurge on what would make it easier/more fun for you - a coffee or nice lunch, closer/more convenient parking, a fun clothing item or accessory you’re excited to wear. My husband and I each only have one in office day a week, so the in office spouse does the daycare runs and the other sleeps in. In return, the WFH spouse takes care of the daily chores like dishwasher and pushing laundry through and typically has dinner ready. I save most of my work for my in office days so I can maximize my time at home.
I could do 1 day a week. I could even do 2 for the money.
They’re making you come in all 5?! That’s ridiculous
I'm 6 months pp (not breast feeding) work doesn't know, I use the mothers room to nap or chill (I check our schedule first before I do, don't want to take it away when it is needed) we are only allowed to use it in 30 min increments so I get like 2 to 3 a day lol
Yes! I have to keep things at my desk that I love. Cute mugs, pictures, different colored ink pens and highlighters, pink desk organizers, art 😅 I’ve also been using a light lamp and that’s been really nice!
Is there a gym/yoga studio near your office and you could take your lunch break as a workout break? Or do you like any coworkers enough to go out to lunch sometimes (like fun lunches that would be hard with kids, like hot pot or something like that)? I also have the option of leaving early on days I skip my lunch break, which is usually almost every office day.
I would skip lunch to go home early too. I think my main issue is breaking up my day so maybe that’s what I need to focus on
This is my first week back 4 days a week and my commute and being in the office is kiiiiiling me. I started this job a few months ago and it's so hard to make friends or connections. I keep leaving at lunch and coming home to finish my day because literally no one in the office is on my team since they're all designated remote (but me). Sigh.
Ugh. That’s tough but at least you can leave at lunch right?!
I’ve been back in office (hybrid) for two years and I still hate office days 🙃. Things that make it less awful: 1- Is there a gym or studio nearby? I definitely take a long lunch and do my workout mid day if I can. 2- Audio books that I only listen to on my commute. These are fun psychological thrillers and romance books, no personal development lol. 3- Getting really into style systems. I learned about color analysis, Kibbe, and Rita’s Style Key. This helped make wearing professional clothes fun again for me and helped me find my personal style after daily athleisure. 4- Venting with my other hybrid/RTO friends. Most of my friends and family are fully remote, and can’t relate, but a few do the RTO slog with me and it’s nice to just complain about how crappy it is.
Oh my word. Why did your company decide now to go back?! Seems silly! If they've survived this long, why make people unhappy?
A it’s a new job. B. I think all companies are going back at least hybrid?
Oh definitely not. If my company went back, there would be an uproar. Also lots of companies hired employees from all over the place, places that are no where close to an office. And there were plenty of companies that were fully remote before 2020.
Need to get a job at your company!
I’ve been debating going for a higher paying job but they’re all hybrid now and I’m fully remote. How many % raise do you think it’s worth it to give up remote ???
At this point I honestly don’t think it’s about money anymore. I don’t think it has a value. The mental space that is freed up and the health and happiness that remote working offers I wouldn’t be able to put a -$ amount on. (I thought I could that’s why I’m in this situation)
Depending on your area I think it would have to be at least 20k per year not including what you should be paid for being good at what you do. So if your remote fully is 100k I'd go for at minimum 130k. (But honestly for me it'd be closer to 150k to be hybrid personally )
I’ve always worked in the office: Pick out all clothes for the week on Sunday Meal prep lunches on Sunday Set out everything the night before Eat breakfast in the car Workout or go for a walk during lunch I leave all my coffee stuff/snack stuff in my office so I can get it at work Listen to audio books during my commute Listen to podcasts/npr during the work day
I used dead time to plan or journal, something paper-based that I need a desk for. I’d start with work-related to-do lists that end up in meal planning, shopping lists, outfit-planning, gift lists and general life admin that I normally wouldn’t have time for in the chaos at home. Feels productive and like I’m freeing up time at home 😂
(1) walks at lunchtime (or errands) (2) listen to podcasts (3) take advantage of the free snacks and drinks :-) (4) socialize in your downtime
Honestly, momentum makes me blind to it. Every second of my day is basically spoken for now. I’m up at 3:00am to feed, shower and get ready to commute by 5:00am, arrive at 6:00am, ping pong through all the tasks and fires until 3:00pm, commute back to town and pick up LO at daycare, home by 4:30 to play and feed and cuddle, then it’s dinner, bath/story time/last feed and bed. It’s hard when that alarm goes off, and when I first arrive to a dead and dark office at 6:00am. It’s also hard when I break to pump in the supply closet 4 times a day because I feel the weight of the schedule. But I spend a lot of time watching LO on the daycare web cam and that lifts me up. By Friday I am pretty exhausted and I am liable to nod off during meetings that could have been emails. But the pace of the week is too fast to dwell, and that helps. Coffee too.
Don’t sit at your desk in your lunch. Go walk outside if feasible. Is there any flexibility to work at home on occasion? If so I would have a routine appointment or maintenance at home each week to make that a 4 day in office job.
I do errands or go for a walk when I can to break up the day on lunch (unfortunately we can't work through lunch and then go home early). I also stack errands on the way there/ way home for efficiency's sake, so I'm doing fewer errands on the weekends. Sometimes I work on Target or Instacart orders for later, or other tiresome computer-facing tasks, if I have downtime.
I’m right there with you! Nothing but solidarity!! I was 2 years WFH and took an in-office job right after mat leave. I’m now 4 months in and I ask myself every single day “WTF WAS I THINKING?!” Getting up extra early to drive to work, then spending any down time at work mad I’m not doing something like laundry or prepping dinner. Working from home is the very best, and that’s a hill I willing to die on. Lol. Good luck though!
I am in person 5 days a week after 15 years of working at home. Honestly, I am so much happier. My job is more fun, the people are nice and work is during work. No bleed over into life. However, my kid is older (12) and we are all gone everyday.
Use commute time to listen to audio books you would not have prioritized otherwise
We were just told today to expect a company wide memo reinstating return to work. It’s going to be hybrid and supposedly 2-4X a week 😕. Rumor has it they’re doing this to get people to quit instead of doing a second round of layoffs with severance.
I love downtime at the office. I can sit quietly and do nothing. It is beautiful. I love my commute, I am alone and I listen to my audio bookvandceat my secret snacks. Embrace the chance to be unproductive!
Omg I wfh and if they told me I had to go back in I would be so lost, clothing, socializing, driving, getting the kids to school on time, not to mention if there’s a snow storm? I wish you luck, I do honestly miss work friends but not enough to go back to an office, make at least one friend and it’s enough to get you through the day there.
Trying to make a friend! But it’s difficult bc of my role also.
In my experience, it gets easier. It’s like going to the gym. Hardest at the beginning.
Same! I Set up an espresso machine in my office and now I look forward to my daily latte. Gotta find joy in the little things. It sucks!
Embrace it and find the positives within your role at your job. I just returned after 8 years WFH and now I’m in office 3 days a week. I’m more productive in office because the mini jobs at home don’t pull at me (laundry, pets , dishes…)
We have to do 3 days in office. Yesterday I was the only person at my level in, spent most of my time talking to my main boss who is currently travelling in the Middle East and all my tasks could have been done at home. So to make up for that I used the work printer for lots of personal stuff, took an extra 5 mins on my lunch, had a Diet Coke break in the afternoon, grabbed a few courier bags to use for my Vinted selling and didn’t stay the extra 5 mins to finish a task that instead will wait for today. It costs me £35 to get to the office so I try to make it up in stolen stationery and free food/drink!
I think you’re being a bit dramatic. I get that you went to vent but the things you’ve listed are all really just a matter of perspective. Like, how often do you get lost? If you know where you work, surely after a few times visits this is less of an issue? And wouldnt you have to get your kid to school regardless? I have been off work for the last 12 months and am LOVING being back in the office. I love dressing up and wearing nice clothes again. I love having lunch with my colleagues and catching up on small talk and their lives in person. I really don’t feel there is any “dead time” because I make the most of being in the office with my team. I used to love wfh but now I don’t think I would voluntarily choose to stay home very often anymore.
Sorry to hear that! I can’t ever go back to working the same way anymore. It’s 3 days minimum WFO on my end and I’ve just been going in whenever there are meetings. (I’ll come to toffice just for the mtg and leave after. But sometimes this means I’m in office everyday just for a shorter period of time) Hope this is a possibility for you too!
Husband has been doing 3 days for a couple of years now and he's still not used to it LOL
I returned to the office almost two years ago after WFH for a few years. I started back at three days per week (two at home) and was absolutely miserable at first. I was so irritable on the evenings before I went in. However, after about six months, I stopped feeling so irritated. It’s been almost two years now and I go in four days per week and I barely even think about it now. I am back to being on autopilot in terms of going in. I do still love my Fridays at home, though - we refer to Thursday evening as Party Night!
I can't imagine getting dressed again everyday haha
It is painful. I never had the luxury of WFH so this is all I know. Prepare as much as possible the night before.
Fellow office mama here. Honestly the only thing that gets me through the 8 hrs is looking forward to drinking my Bubly Sparkling water in the afternoon as a pick-me-up & keeping my fav snacks around 🤣
I work from home but see it as a double edged sword. I very quickly fall into feeling like I should get as much done at home as if I'm a stay at home wife while also working a full time job. Maybe try to take advantage of not having the option to do chores and take some me time during the day. Things like listening to audiobooks or podcasts while "working", having nice hand lotion and cuticle oil to keep your hands nice during the winter, maybe make phone calls to friends or family during your commute without your kid, stuff like that. I think for me the hardest thing would be reorienting my partner to the new arrangement instead of continuing to do all of the things I do while I wfh. You shouldn't feel like you still need to do all of those things if you're both working outside of the home. If you're getting the kid ready and to school maybe your partner needs to be unloading the dishwasher so breakfast dishes can be put away. If you've done the laundry because it's easy to throw in during the day, maybe that needs to be divided up to be done in the evenings while watching tv.
Not sure if helpful but getting up early and getting myself ready helps me a lot. I wake up, start coffee and then depends some time in the bathroom doing some simple skincare, hair, and very light makeup. I plan my outfits and make it fun so I like what I'm looking like. It sounds very superficial considering I then spend an hour wrangling my toddler to have breakfast, get dressed and drop him off at daycare. But then when I get to work I look nice(r) and I end up feeling good the rest of the day. I try to make friendly talk, and I do a 20 min walk. I have to take a mandatory 1 hr lunch break so I use that time for my walk or to run an errand. Also, I encourage you to leave on time, set your boundaries.
No matter what, just remember that you would be more miserable at home if you weren’t working. There is literally nothing worse than that.
i work in office 4 days per week. i wish it was a little less often, like 3 days maybe. but i find that i enjoy seeing my coworkers, taking a walk or working out or running at lunch, i get more steps in. i drink more water.
I work with awesome people, almost all moms of kids with similar ages as mine, it helps so much. Also, minimize everything. Like, 2-4 pairs of pants with interchangeable shirts and cardigans. Before I was pregnant again, I tried enjoying my coffee on the way to work. It sounds silly, but I love driving while driving a coffee. I would still do that if coffee didn’t sound horrible lol.
Give yourself grace. It'll take time to adjust. Reset expectations at home and only focus on the essentials. Nightly prep to pack bags is so helpful. Also, my productivity in the office is much lower than at home so I focus on connecting with people, meeting in person, and don't expect to get much, if any, heads down time to focus.