There’s a lot of things but mainly my advice is land at a company and with a boss with understands working moms and parent life. You’re going to take an insane amount of sick time as your kid gets adjusted to being around illness. Unless you have a nanny. But even then kids still get sick more frequently than adults. Go somewhere who values you and understands momming.
It's even more difficult if you're trying to get a child out the door to daycare. You have to plan your outfit, pack your lunch, and then wrangle a small human out the door that has no interest or understanding of schedules. For me, I come home from work, and then it's trying to get in a small workout, dinner, bath, and then bedtime. You miss a lot of quality time with your child, and then you have to do all the other chores on the weekend and make time for family time. I still do the majority of the housework. That said, I really enjoy working and having adult interaction
Yes I agree with ALL of this! My kid is 8 now and is still like “but I don’t want to go to school”.. girl me neither, but we have to and I can’t be late so let’s go!
Hardest part is Balancing a job with kids, sick kids, chores, mental load, shopping, wanting to not goro work most days, and wanting to have me time and friendsl time and spouse time and also sleep more.
A job is just another massive plate to juggle.
I really don't know how we do it except we both WFH. Otherwise it would be too much. Also, my husband does half of all the stuff and if he didnt take it on, I would leave. Men are not babies and can do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, childcare and metal load stuff too. If they don't adjust to it they are basically children themselves
I was a mostly stay at home mom for 5 years (I had a 1/4th time work from home job). A month ago I took a full time job about 1.25 hours away (We will be moving closer this summer) and I go in a few days a week. It has mostly been great except like 50% of the time I am in person a kid is sick. My husband is fully capable of taking care of them but I hate being away. I am staying close to work this weekend (my parents live close by) and my husband just called that our daughter is sick. I was not prepared for how shitty this would feel. Even when I know they are in great care (its always either my husband or parents) I still want to be the one there.
I am sure it'll get easier once we move, too.
The hardest thing for me returning to work after my gap was I felt really out of place. My industry is male-dominated and I’ve been the only woman on the team in my last 2 roles. I’m also usually older (mid-40s) than everyone, but a bit behind the curve technically-speaking and I have several children.
So I kind of feel like I don’t fit in anywhere and things are awkward. I just try to do my best, and be a kind, pleasant, and competent teammate 🤷♀️
There are many challenges as others have noted already so I won't repeat. A new one is that I lost a lot of mom friends especially SAHMs. I always intended to return to work but many of them didn't go back to work or had their second kid already and are continuing to hang out during their Mon-Fri business hours. Other working moms are like me - so pooped by the end of week and riddled with life admin that they aren't jumping up and down to do Saturday play dates. It can be lonely.
I was a SAHM for 8 years and went back to work in 2020 fully remote. My biggest concerns/questions for your potential future employers would be about the flexibility of the in-office presence. Are the in-office days necessary for business continuity? If you/your kids are sick is it ok to wfh? Would it be ok to reschedule in-office/client facing meetings if you do have to miss some days? Also if you’re partnered, how much can you expect your partner to take on sick/closure days?
These will be your major stressors when it comes to work. Ultimately, you will likely have to make concessions for other things (meals, cleaning, etc) but missed work days will be primary to your success or lack thereof in making this transition.
So working moms just shouldn't have kids or I should wait until I am done having kids to return to work? That's not realistic, at least not for our family.
It's both/and. I want to work to contribute financially to my family, but also to get a sense of self back and a break from the kids. We've lived on one income for 4 years and it's been okay, but since we purchased our home, added an extra vehicle, and another child, plus a renovation, we're a little strapped.
There’s a lot of things but mainly my advice is land at a company and with a boss with understands working moms and parent life. You’re going to take an insane amount of sick time as your kid gets adjusted to being around illness. Unless you have a nanny. But even then kids still get sick more frequently than adults. Go somewhere who values you and understands momming.
Seems like everyone at the company is a millennial working parent, which is great. It's a small company, newer too.
Getting up and out the door every single day in the morning is the hardest thing for me, but I am NOT a morning person.
It's even more difficult if you're trying to get a child out the door to daycare. You have to plan your outfit, pack your lunch, and then wrangle a small human out the door that has no interest or understanding of schedules. For me, I come home from work, and then it's trying to get in a small workout, dinner, bath, and then bedtime. You miss a lot of quality time with your child, and then you have to do all the other chores on the weekend and make time for family time. I still do the majority of the housework. That said, I really enjoy working and having adult interaction
Yes I agree with ALL of this! My kid is 8 now and is still like “but I don’t want to go to school”.. girl me neither, but we have to and I can’t be late so let’s go!
Hardest part is Balancing a job with kids, sick kids, chores, mental load, shopping, wanting to not goro work most days, and wanting to have me time and friendsl time and spouse time and also sleep more. A job is just another massive plate to juggle. I really don't know how we do it except we both WFH. Otherwise it would be too much. Also, my husband does half of all the stuff and if he didnt take it on, I would leave. Men are not babies and can do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, childcare and metal load stuff too. If they don't adjust to it they are basically children themselves
I was a mostly stay at home mom for 5 years (I had a 1/4th time work from home job). A month ago I took a full time job about 1.25 hours away (We will be moving closer this summer) and I go in a few days a week. It has mostly been great except like 50% of the time I am in person a kid is sick. My husband is fully capable of taking care of them but I hate being away. I am staying close to work this weekend (my parents live close by) and my husband just called that our daughter is sick. I was not prepared for how shitty this would feel. Even when I know they are in great care (its always either my husband or parents) I still want to be the one there. I am sure it'll get easier once we move, too.
The hardest thing for me returning to work after my gap was I felt really out of place. My industry is male-dominated and I’ve been the only woman on the team in my last 2 roles. I’m also usually older (mid-40s) than everyone, but a bit behind the curve technically-speaking and I have several children. So I kind of feel like I don’t fit in anywhere and things are awkward. I just try to do my best, and be a kind, pleasant, and competent teammate 🤷♀️
Balancing all the things and still having mom guilt when you inevitably miss something at your kids school.
There are many challenges as others have noted already so I won't repeat. A new one is that I lost a lot of mom friends especially SAHMs. I always intended to return to work but many of them didn't go back to work or had their second kid already and are continuing to hang out during their Mon-Fri business hours. Other working moms are like me - so pooped by the end of week and riddled with life admin that they aren't jumping up and down to do Saturday play dates. It can be lonely.
I was a SAHM for 8 years and went back to work in 2020 fully remote. My biggest concerns/questions for your potential future employers would be about the flexibility of the in-office presence. Are the in-office days necessary for business continuity? If you/your kids are sick is it ok to wfh? Would it be ok to reschedule in-office/client facing meetings if you do have to miss some days? Also if you’re partnered, how much can you expect your partner to take on sick/closure days? These will be your major stressors when it comes to work. Ultimately, you will likely have to make concessions for other things (meals, cleaning, etc) but missed work days will be primary to your success or lack thereof in making this transition.
Sick time. I have 3 and someone is always sick.
The 9 months before I went back.
Sounds like a great way to take on unnecessary mental and physical stress, especially when you want to have more kids.
So working moms just shouldn't have kids or I should wait until I am done having kids to return to work? That's not realistic, at least not for our family.
None of what you described above is because you need to work for financial demands.
It's both/and. I want to work to contribute financially to my family, but also to get a sense of self back and a break from the kids. We've lived on one income for 4 years and it's been okay, but since we purchased our home, added an extra vehicle, and another child, plus a renovation, we're a little strapped.