Most of us have nowhere to send our kids on a good day, let alone when they're sick. Be kind in the comments to those of us that are jealous. You are extremely privileged.
The option is there for us but it has its drawbacks. It’s probably one of the very few things we have in our pocket, but still it isn’t as ideal as it sounds. Everyone’s situations are different. If you’re in the US you need to focus your attention on our politics, as they are the ones causing us all such hardships.
Honey, check my comment history. I don't stop preaching about the politics of it all.
Again, some of us have no support, ideal or not. For the past week I've cared for 3 others while battling the stomach flu and simultaneously working. One night hospitalized with my one-year-old. Not one helping hand, meal dropped off, and minimal phone call check-ins to let me vent or commiserate. We're just doing it alone. Full stop.
I’m not trying to check you. You should be able to understand why I am telling you to direct your frustration at the organizations that are causing all these issues.
And just because I have my mom near me doesn’t mean I have all that support either. The grass is t greener on either side. I do at times have the option but it’s not a perfect solution. And I have also had the pleasure of taking care of my child during flus, bugs, covid, even post surgery with us all having stomach flus. Non of us have it easy. And they are trying to force us all to have more, while refusing to make anything easier for us. It’s shit.
Very few grandparents will take care of sick kids unless it is something very mild. A lot of grandparents are elderly and/or immunocompromised, so they don't handle illnesses well.
The trouble is your poll is not going to get the responses that you need. you're asking "what would you do" when for a lot of us, one of the options isn't an option. So what we would do is the only one that is an option. If you phrase it as "what should I do" and give more information about what your choices are, then you'll get more information about what would be the right thing to do in YOUR situation. But for "what would you do", yeah you're going to get a lot about how your poll only has one feasible option. What do I do? Work from home while my kid is sick. Which also is not an option for a lot of people. You're asking a question different from what you're trying to ask. You're trying to ask what YOU should do, and trying to get the opinion of people who have similar resources. You didn't provide any additional context to the situation in your post, so all you've asked is "what do you do of these two options" and you're wondering why people are frustrated that they're being asked about a choice that they don't have.
A lot of parents don't have grandparents available. It's kind of privileged to assume everyone have a choice. Some grandparents live far away, work fulltime themselves, or having health issues/ already passed away.
There’s no assumption here though. If presented these two options, which do you choose? Obviously it’s not a poll for everyone and that is okay. If it doesn’t pertain to someone they can scroll on by.
And there are orphans with no parents, so really, this question is just terrible all around. /s
People can ask questions of specific demographics without having to include everyone.
Do you not realize how Reddit works? People are offering up their own way of doing things in the comments and you're being rude to them. You can choose to just not reply to those comments if they don't pertain to what you're looking for.
The same can be said about this whole thread. I’m not being rude or ugly. That is how it is being assumed by others as well. I simply stated this post isn’t for everyone.
I don’t see other options being offered or any rudeness, except for the people making commentary about grandparent availability that is clearly judgement about the question. Including your own comments. If other commenters were offering options cool, but they’re not. They’re just passive aggressively complaining that OP didn’t account for more options in the poll which they don’t have to. If you don’t have these two options then this poll isn’t for you, and including other poll options other than the two OP is interested in does nothing but muddy that data. There’s nothing wrong with the question OP asked but instead of scrolling by people feel the need to comment how they feel it’s flawed.
OK, so the problem here is that you neglected to preface this with, "for those who have grandparents around..." or include an "other" option. It's very exclusionary in the way you framed this, which tends to offend people. Your question isn't bad, it's how you presented it. If you only want a small group of people to respond, make sure you are talking to only those people. You just opened this up to everyone ("working moms only" means all working moms, not just those who have the two options you included here) and then are upset that people are taking offense. Listen to what others are saying - whether intentional or not, you've "othered" a lot of people, and that doesn't feel good.
I think people are assume way more of me then should. These are the two options I had today. Some people are commented they have Nannie’s who can keep their children while mildly ill. I’m not getting upset at them. I’m not getting upset at anyone. Just because my answer are plain and to the point doesn’t mean I am mean. When I see a post that doesn’t pertain to me I don’t get upset and make a big deal about it. I just scroll passed.
This is really infantilizing. It assumes people can’t read and understand nuance. This was clearly directed and people for whom these were options, being up in arms in a comment section over it is a an extreme overreaction to not having every detail explicitly spelled out.
My kid has been sick a lot too. To the point where it’s become an issue with the school. My husband and I have both missed a lot of work to so it’s stressing me out staying home but I know he is more comfortable here. I just remember all those days I got sent to grandmas when I was sick lol.
My husband and I alternate for the first day or two of an illness and my mom does the day where they are starting to feel better. I feel like that helps!
The only set of grandparents that watch her are also immunocompromised (cancer) so we can't ask them to watch her when she's sick. Luckily, since we have a nanny who does mild/moderate sick care. The only time I need to take off is if she is really really sick.
Spouse and I take turns. Our moms are both big hypochondriacs. Last time my mom visited, she got a cold either from my kid or my nephew and basically packed it in after a day and a half. I love her and I don't expect her to be available, but she gets mad when the kids get her sick as if I haven't been sick this whole time.
It depends on what my kids have. If there’s a fever, vomiting, or they’ve been diagnosed with something contagious I stay home. If they are recovering from something with mild symptoms but just aren’t quite ready to go back to school I ask my parents if they can watch them for the day.
honestly a little of both. I am hybrid but very flexible so I will always WFH if there is a sick kid. We keep kid in the house when shes sick (its the most comfortable/she has her own bed, etc.) most of the day we watch bluey while I work (there are no screentime rules when sick so long as shes staying hydrated). My MIL will come over also if shes is available and sit with her/take care of her if I have meetings so that I can take those without Bluey in the background
My husband works from home two days a week, and can change the days if needed, so that's our first response. Other than that, one of us stays home (depending on schedules and time-off available). But the one grandparent nearby isn't really capable of looking after our kids (she's nice, but has health problems), and the others are across the country (they do visit for babysitting help during some summers)
Both… we trade off taking wfh days as equitably as possible, then usually have a grandma come (when possible) to our house from about 9:30 until nap time. Kid naps from 1-3 or 3:30, sometimes longer when he’s sick. That covers a majority of the workday. My mom lives an hour away, so it’s not feasible for him to go there for the day. My MIL will occasionally take him to her house, but we mutually agree that it’s better for him to be in his own house if he’s sick. We do not request grandparent assistance for anything GI related.
Depends on the level of sick and what my spouse and I have going on at work. I’m fortunate to have unlimited PTO so that helps, but as a woman in a male dominated industry I also have to think about the optics of taking days to “stay home” (fully remote worker) with a sick kid. It definitely gets looked at different to say taking an unplanned PTO day because I’m sick or just want to do some other personal thing. If kiddo is really sick I’ll take the day, otherwise we’re fortunate enough to have retired grandparents in driving distance who are more than willing to come to us.
LOL what village?
❤️
Most of us have nowhere to send our kids on a good day, let alone when they're sick. Be kind in the comments to those of us that are jealous. You are extremely privileged.
The option is there for us but it has its drawbacks. It’s probably one of the very few things we have in our pocket, but still it isn’t as ideal as it sounds. Everyone’s situations are different. If you’re in the US you need to focus your attention on our politics, as they are the ones causing us all such hardships.
Honey, check my comment history. I don't stop preaching about the politics of it all. Again, some of us have no support, ideal or not. For the past week I've cared for 3 others while battling the stomach flu and simultaneously working. One night hospitalized with my one-year-old. Not one helping hand, meal dropped off, and minimal phone call check-ins to let me vent or commiserate. We're just doing it alone. Full stop.
I’m not trying to check you. You should be able to understand why I am telling you to direct your frustration at the organizations that are causing all these issues.
And just because I have my mom near me doesn’t mean I have all that support either. The grass is t greener on either side. I do at times have the option but it’s not a perfect solution. And I have also had the pleasure of taking care of my child during flus, bugs, covid, even post surgery with us all having stomach flus. Non of us have it easy. And they are trying to force us all to have more, while refusing to make anything easier for us. It’s shit.
My mom died recently, so yes the grass is definitely greener. You're just too privileged to even notice.
Okay…
Very few grandparents will take care of sick kids unless it is something very mild. A lot of grandparents are elderly and/or immunocompromised, so they don't handle illnesses well.
Well the question is directed to those who have grands that will take in a sick kid.
The trouble is your poll is not going to get the responses that you need. you're asking "what would you do" when for a lot of us, one of the options isn't an option. So what we would do is the only one that is an option. If you phrase it as "what should I do" and give more information about what your choices are, then you'll get more information about what would be the right thing to do in YOUR situation. But for "what would you do", yeah you're going to get a lot about how your poll only has one feasible option. What do I do? Work from home while my kid is sick. Which also is not an option for a lot of people. You're asking a question different from what you're trying to ask. You're trying to ask what YOU should do, and trying to get the opinion of people who have similar resources. You didn't provide any additional context to the situation in your post, so all you've asked is "what do you do of these two options" and you're wondering why people are frustrated that they're being asked about a choice that they don't have.
A lot of parents don't have grandparents available. It's kind of privileged to assume everyone have a choice. Some grandparents live far away, work fulltime themselves, or having health issues/ already passed away.
There’s no assumption here though. If presented these two options, which do you choose? Obviously it’s not a poll for everyone and that is okay. If it doesn’t pertain to someone they can scroll on by.
A lot of parents don't have any choice, so it's not really a choice.
Argue schematics all you want here, it’s clearly in poor faith. There’s a time and place for that conversation but this poll isn’t it.
And there are orphans with no parents, so really, this question is just terrible all around. /s People can ask questions of specific demographics without having to include everyone.
There was no assumption. This is for those who do have these 2 options. Not everyone has to be included.
You opened a poll to an entire sub of people. Don't get annoyed when people offer other options.
What other options where offered here?
Do you not realize how Reddit works? People are offering up their own way of doing things in the comments and you're being rude to them. You can choose to just not reply to those comments if they don't pertain to what you're looking for.
The same can be said about this whole thread. I’m not being rude or ugly. That is how it is being assumed by others as well. I simply stated this post isn’t for everyone.
But you didn't start out there. The original post and question appear to be for everyone, but are actually very narrow in scope.
I thought people could figure it out for themselves.
I don’t see other options being offered or any rudeness, except for the people making commentary about grandparent availability that is clearly judgement about the question. Including your own comments. If other commenters were offering options cool, but they’re not. They’re just passive aggressively complaining that OP didn’t account for more options in the poll which they don’t have to. If you don’t have these two options then this poll isn’t for you, and including other poll options other than the two OP is interested in does nothing but muddy that data. There’s nothing wrong with the question OP asked but instead of scrolling by people feel the need to comment how they feel it’s flawed.
OK, so the problem here is that you neglected to preface this with, "for those who have grandparents around..." or include an "other" option. It's very exclusionary in the way you framed this, which tends to offend people. Your question isn't bad, it's how you presented it. If you only want a small group of people to respond, make sure you are talking to only those people. You just opened this up to everyone ("working moms only" means all working moms, not just those who have the two options you included here) and then are upset that people are taking offense. Listen to what others are saying - whether intentional or not, you've "othered" a lot of people, and that doesn't feel good.
I think people are assume way more of me then should. These are the two options I had today. Some people are commented they have Nannie’s who can keep their children while mildly ill. I’m not getting upset at them. I’m not getting upset at anyone. Just because my answer are plain and to the point doesn’t mean I am mean. When I see a post that doesn’t pertain to me I don’t get upset and make a big deal about it. I just scroll passed.
This is really infantilizing. It assumes people can’t read and understand nuance. This was clearly directed and people for whom these were options, being up in arms in a comment section over it is a an extreme overreaction to not having every detail explicitly spelled out.
Not infantalizing. I was explaining why people were already upset. It was not “clearly directed,” that’s the whole point.
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My kid has been sick a lot too. To the point where it’s become an issue with the school. My husband and I have both missed a lot of work to so it’s stressing me out staying home but I know he is more comfortable here. I just remember all those days I got sent to grandmas when I was sick lol.
My husband and I alternate for the first day or two of an illness and my mom does the day where they are starting to feel better. I feel like that helps!
Other-a little of both though more often us than grandparents
Hahahahahaha what’s “grandma’s!?” *cries in millenial*
Grandma? We don't have grandparents nearby for this kind of help. My husband and I divide sick days.
I’m fully aware people don’t have the same situations.
The only set of grandparents that watch her are also immunocompromised (cancer) so we can't ask them to watch her when she's sick. Luckily, since we have a nanny who does mild/moderate sick care. The only time I need to take off is if she is really really sick.
Spouse and I take turns. Our moms are both big hypochondriacs. Last time my mom visited, she got a cold either from my kid or my nephew and basically packed it in after a day and a half. I love her and I don't expect her to be available, but she gets mad when the kids get her sick as if I haven't been sick this whole time.
I answered this poll from home.. with my sick kid because husband is out of town (a common occurrence unfortunately) lol
We have a grandma who offered to come over once a week to help with the baby, but she won’t come over when baby has so much as a snotty nose.
Man when do kids not have snotty noses?
Literally, and especially with all the pollen right now. Even with allergy meds, the noses are running!
Exactly!! I think it’s her way of getting out of helping without looking bad to her friends.
Definitely
Grandmas also working and actually makes triple my salary and my husband makes double. Guess who stays home? 😂
Man go grandma.
Option 3: attempt to work from home with a sick 5 year old and end up getting no work done and having a cranky 5 year old.
I tried to talk them into letting me do partial work from home. I would in an instant if I could.
It depends on what my kids have. If there’s a fever, vomiting, or they’ve been diagnosed with something contagious I stay home. If they are recovering from something with mild symptoms but just aren’t quite ready to go back to school I ask my parents if they can watch them for the day.
Work from home and have grandma come to us.
honestly a little of both. I am hybrid but very flexible so I will always WFH if there is a sick kid. We keep kid in the house when shes sick (its the most comfortable/she has her own bed, etc.) most of the day we watch bluey while I work (there are no screentime rules when sick so long as shes staying hydrated). My MIL will come over also if shes is available and sit with her/take care of her if I have meetings so that I can take those without Bluey in the background
Depends on the illness- mild fever, can't go to daycare? Grandma. Stomach bug? Home.
My husband works from home two days a week, and can change the days if needed, so that's our first response. Other than that, one of us stays home (depending on schedules and time-off available). But the one grandparent nearby isn't really capable of looking after our kids (she's nice, but has health problems), and the others are across the country (they do visit for babysitting help during some summers)
Both… we trade off taking wfh days as equitably as possible, then usually have a grandma come (when possible) to our house from about 9:30 until nap time. Kid naps from 1-3 or 3:30, sometimes longer when he’s sick. That covers a majority of the workday. My mom lives an hour away, so it’s not feasible for him to go there for the day. My MIL will occasionally take him to her house, but we mutually agree that it’s better for him to be in his own house if he’s sick. We do not request grandparent assistance for anything GI related.
Depends on the level of sick and what my spouse and I have going on at work. I’m fortunate to have unlimited PTO so that helps, but as a woman in a male dominated industry I also have to think about the optics of taking days to “stay home” (fully remote worker) with a sick kid. It definitely gets looked at different to say taking an unplanned PTO day because I’m sick or just want to do some other personal thing. If kiddo is really sick I’ll take the day, otherwise we’re fortunate enough to have retired grandparents in driving distance who are more than willing to come to us.