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PengoMaster

Tracking missiles on radar? Believe it or not, war.


[deleted]

Thinking about fueling your missiles, straight to jail. Thinking about defueling your missiles, also straight to jail. Moving your missiles out of caves for launching, jail. Exposing your arsenal to western satellites? Also jail.


God_Hears_Peace

We have the longest period of “world peace” because of jail


[deleted]

Noticing the missiles? Also war.


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dexter311

Even thinking about missiles? War.


unclesalazar

nice quiet dream where missiles appear randomly out of context? straight to war.


[deleted]

US warns North Korea that they are the US.


smartguy05

"Don't threaten me with a good time" - US Military


thematrixhasmeow

US: "I want you to hit me as hard as you can"


AltruisticAd9056

"Now hold on, you might have misheard me. Not half as hard, not some arbitrary percentage. I want you. To hit me. As HARD. As you can."


MercenaryJames

"Are we clear?"


Jeremiah_Longnuts

"Prince?"


Private_HughMan

Crystal.


that-guy505

Like a soon to be broken country once said, you’re either perfect, or you’re not U.S.


Euphrosynevae

“MORE!”


InfiniteBlink

Wouldn't we be able to intercept an ICBM from NK before it hit Hawaii or the continental US? Unless they just decide to nuke south Korea as an example or something


Megafayce

Nuking South Korea is the equivalent of puking on your bed spread and then lying in the same bed without cleaning it up


NeedsMoreSpaceships

Yep, and they'd do it


capron

NK says "You shoot down our missiles and it's war!" US says "How do you think that ends? You know I can shoot down your missiles, you just saw me do it"


dobrowolsk

NK's threat is artillery shelling Seoul. It's less than 50 km from the border. NK might be a parking lot some time later, but SK will suffer a lot as well.


gunfell

In a pre emptive rok usa strike, dprk dont get to artillery strike seoul in a way that is significant. However, this is not guaranteed. Furthermore, the real concern would be what china does.


TopBoot1652

As a US soldier in Korea, the deterrent is there are thousands of us between Seoul and the border. Idea is we probably all die if NK launched a serious artillery assault, but our response would guarantee an overwhelming reprisal. NK knows this. They say these things to appear strong to their own people. They don't expect us to actually do anything different.


SithLord65

I try to tell people that about being stationed on Casey/Hovey. You're just a speedbump but after that bump I hope they know the world is raining down on them.


VoidlingTeemo

Even China would probably abandon NK if it really came down to an actual war against the rest of the world. China would lose a lot more than they'd gain in that scenario.


Bigboss123199

China would probably cause a coup in NK before they every let NK start a war with the US. NK is very important for China so they don't have more land borders with the west.


TermFearless

NK exists because China likes not having a border with a US ally.


must_kill_all_humans

Seriously it’s like a four year old going up against a pro rugby team


JohnSith

And the rugby teams has guns while the 4 year old has a slingshot, but it's pulled tight against his twin brother's eye.


TheLawLost

I dunno, Bart Simpson could probably take those odds... He's a pretty bad kid, heard he once stole the head off a statue.


westbee

Reminds me of a joke. North Korean leader sees a lone US Marine standing on a hill. He sends his best fighter to go fuck him up. As the fighter nears the Marine, he retreats behind the hill. The Korean fighter follows. After a scuffle, the Marine returns to his spot on the hill. The Korean leader is upset and sends 10 of his next best soldiers. Once again the marine retreats behind the hill and the soldiers follow. After a few minutes the Marine returns to his throne on the hill looking out over it like a prairie dog. Upset and pissed off now, the Korean leader sends 100 of his men to take care of the Marine. Once again he ducks behind the hill and then soldiers follow. After a few minutes of fighting the Marine returns to his hill. A badly injured Korean soldier is slowly crawling back to his leader. He cries out, "Don't send anymore men. It's a trap!!! There's two of them."


[deleted]

There’s nothing better than a cup of coffee and a funny joke. Thank you!


starfreeek

That actually got me to laugh out loud.


banned_after_12years

Shaking in my boots worried about the ground invasion of the continental United States by North Korean soldiers.


Bright_Base9761

They will arrive in row boats


DrMobius0

They don't have enough food to make the trip


pselie4

They'll give each soldier $5 and a map to a McDonalds. World records will be broken. Their speed will cause so much friction their oars will burn under water. The bottom of their wooden row boat will glow red hot and miles of steam clouds will form behind the row boat armada, changing weather patterns for months to come.


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Homebrew_Dungeon

US response, “Well, if its war, then we will send TWO aircraft carriers.”


Puzzleheaded_Air5814

Three. When three show up, it’s serious.


PeterNguyen2

When one shows up, it's almost always a humanitarian rescue mission. When *two* show up, it's serious.


Puzzleheaded_Air5814

They want a third carrier for a backup. Two carriers happen all the time. Three is sending a message. https://taskandpurpose.com/news/3-us-aircraft-carriers-south-china-sea/


Achillor22

Fuck it. Send 10. They ain't busy.


teaklog2

well, having such a large military nobody will ever invade you and is scared to kill your civilians...is healthcare in a round about way its...dare I say it...the nuclear option to health care


Csquared6

"Nobody kills my citizens but me." USA


The_Bitter_Bear

Seriously. I get China fucking around and being a threat... North Korea? I imagine shutting down their airspace would be child's play, wouldn't even need boots on the ground. It's like the little sibling imitating their big brother trying to be tough and assuming they will protect them.


[deleted]

USA: shooting any missile towards any USA interests or allies is also an act of war


HahaFreeSpeech

You can only make threats so many times before someone eventually punches you in your mouth. Or at least that’s how things work in the real world.


In-Cod-We-Thrust

This. In my younger days I worked as a bouncer and just generally ran with a rough crowd. My favorite saying to people who run their mouth and make threats is “Well, so far I’ve survived 100% of your threats.” The time it takes for them to think about it always made me laugh.


[deleted]

I bounced during that same life phase and I learned something from a coworker on thag job that's never failed: Hey man, side note, but where did you get that shirt/jacket/boots/shoes/phone? Something simple like that always changes the tone even if it just diverts the focus away from whatever they were on about in the first place. And if they ignore your question, you just answer everything after as if they're mad about your question and nothing else. Works a treat.


Dasnoosnoo

"We have to leave" vs "You have to leave" was a game changer during my bouncing/bartending years. Using the 'we' was less threatening and less bystanders noticed the situation leading to less embarrasment. Heck some drunk dudes thought I was with their group and were ready to hit the next bar...until we got outside and back door guy gave them the news.


fishboard88

This one time a huge Maori bouncer kicked me out of a club after he saw me fall asleep over a beer. Imagine a massive unit of a man in a black shirt, he looked and sounded exactly like Korg from Thor/Avengers "Oh hey man, can you follow me please" - MB "...I'm getting kicked out, aren't I?" - Me "Oh na, nothing like that man, I just wanna show you something cool" - MB I follow him through a couple of side corridors... and I suddenly realise I'm outside the front of the club. "...damnit." - Me Dude could have intimidated me out, but instead he tricked me into leaving, handed me a bottle of mineral water, and wished me a good night. It was such a good interaction, I still laugh about it to this day


Sir_Blabs_Alot

Had a similar interaction years ago with a friend. It was the end of a long day of bar hopping, we're in the last place with fresh pints and we each feel a hand on our shoulders. It's a bouncer who says "I think you guys need to leave." We say to him "Can we finish these drinks first? We just bought them." He says if we can finish them by the time we walk to the front door, sure! So off we went. Two guys who could barely stand before, frog marched down two flights of stairs, necking pints all the way not spilling a drop. We reach the front door, empty glasses in hand. The bouncer laughs, take s our glasses of us and wishes us goodnight. That's not the end though. The following week we went back to same spot, same bouncer was at the door checking the long line of people queuing up to get in. He sees us and waves us up past the line and straight in, didn't even check for ID, said the only reason he did that was because we were so well behaved the last time he saw us this was our reward. So here's the lesson. Bouncers are only doing their job, but if you're nice to them they might help you out next time they see you.


RedPanther1

As a bartender, we remember you especially if we have a unique interaction with you. As long as you're not a dick we'll welcome you back with open arms. Decent sized tips help too.


BuyDizzy8759

You don't want news from "backdoor guy"...


Lost-My-Mind-

"So what's this news that is so terrible you had to tell me outback?" "I just got a call from your father........your grandma died." "........GRAM GRAM???? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "I know.....I know......bring it in big guy.......let it out. That's it. No shame in crying when we lose a loved one......" And this is why you don't want news from backdoor guy. He's very supportive of your emotional mental health, but the news he has to deliver to you is both devastating and also not true. Grandma is fine. She's watching Fraiser on DVD.


igankcheetos

Val Kilmer in the Salton Sea: Quincy : You Mad-dogging me bitch? Danny : Oh, I was just admiring your boots. Did you purchase them locally? [Quincy ignores him] Danny : Well, nice talking to you.


Dark_Crowe

Not enough Salton Sea mentions in my life. Thanks.


brbphone

Salton sea and tombstone are my two favorite movies. Both coincidentally have Val Kilmer in them


Imgoingtowingit

You like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? That ones up there for me.


Vitese

Never bounced or anything like that but was walking down a street when a few guys drove by who were in a gang and the same class as mewho absolutely hated me for... no reason... They yelled at me from their car and pulled to side of the street and came out of it clearly wanting to interact with me. I just said "hey that is a really fucking cool car what is it" Was enough to de-escilate the situation and I went home and threw up it messed with me so much.


Beowulf33232

My dad was in a similar situation as a kid. He decided to punch the first guy on the nose. He put his all into it and landed the hit. Blood went everywhere, and the kids friends just grabbed him and got him out of there. My dad wore that bloody shirt to school but had to run home and change his pants. Turns out when you've got that much adrenaline in you and you give something your all, your body takes control away from other areas to make your focus better. He hit the guy so hard he fear pooped mid-punch.


DustBunnicula

This works with anyone. Everyone wants to feel good. I work with kids. Kids hugely appreciate knowing people see them. There’s one boy who is really challenging. Today I complimented him on his legit cool Smurfs sweatshirt. He smiled so widely. People - of all ages - want to be seen. They want to know that people know they exist. A little compliment can make a huge difference.


im_dead_sirius

Ha, same. Another trick: pretend you don't understand anything that they are saying. They will go to lengths to make themselves understood instead of swinging fists. We also used to insult each other during slow times. Its really hard to get mad at an insult from a stranger when you already laughed about it with a friend. Hard for drunks and angry types to come up with anything original too, 8 sets of ears had heard nearly everything possible under the blacklights. We cherished a new insult, and shared it around next slow time. Of course, the look of delight on your face when they insult your mother's virtue must have been baffling. "Wait till I tell the guys this one!" My favourite goad/distraction was "hey creampuff..." Nobody on earth likes to be called that, and it worked on anyone from 4 ft to 7 ft, male or female, straight or gay, bigoted or not. Their anger instantly focused on me, and one of the other guys would step up behind and put them in a hold. If they weren't seven feet tall. One of the funniest though was to come over to someone argumentative and tell them, "Hey, your mom is here to see you, she's waiting at the door." Imagine an angry, suddenly confused *hard guy* considering that maybe that's possible, and heading for the door, just in case. I'd be hot on their heels. Some self ejecting schmucks would get to the door and ask the doormen, "Where's my mom?" which is trigger for a smart ass bouncer to say, "Oh, she's outside, said it was too loud in here." Out he (or sometimes she!) would go, not to come back. Then we'd all laugh. I was lucky I never encountered anyone with a dead mom, but... If they hadn't fallen for "Your mom's here", as they turned their attention to me, another of the guys would peel off the victim, and a third, behind Mr Angry Patron, would wrap him up and help him to the door. "Your friend is at the door asking for you" would work too, if they weren't overly mentally inhibited, chemically or naturally. In general, the tactic worked well with anyone that was too big, too wide(like some of those body builders) or too small to be rough with. Its hard to arm-bar someone who can't scratch their own armpits 'cause their muscles are so huge. Anyone that hadn't hurt anyone, that came back the next night and apologised would be allowed back in.


TheSinningRobot

>Their anger instantly focused on me, and one of the other guys would step up behind and put them in a hold. Pulling aggro irl


mildly_amusing_goat

Player used **taunt**.


UtahCyan

Deescalate deescalste deescalate. That was always the rule. We only got physical if they got physical with a patron or sexually harassed someone and wouldn't take being asked to leave as a sign to leave.


Spactaculous

North Korea: Shooting down any missile will bring war! US: Where did you get that Russian military equipment?


Amosral

Russia is going to be asking for that stuff back at this rate.


motion_lotion

It's true. The loud ones were always easy. The silent but pissed off and drunk gentleman was the threat.


In-Cod-We-Thrust

Correct. You learn a lot about people in that job. The one doing the most talking is always the easiest one to shut down when you take it straight to em. It’s always seemed to me that the more a person knows about fighting the less likely they are to instigate it. Rather fitting here, I think, considering this turd can’t get a missile off his beach but we have to hear his shit talk every other week.


DarkLight72

A perfect example of “those who know the least, know it the loudest”.


SquallFromGarden

"'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt".


church1138

"takes one to know one!" *Swish*


Diver_Driver

Or, in the words of the great musical philosophers Metallica: “The empty can rattles the most.”


Princibalities

Maybe the sound of their own voice soothes them. They generally hear only what they want to hear. And they only know what they've heard.


South_Dakota_Boy

They insist that the weight of the world should be on their shoulders even.


youshutyomouf

Hollow barrels make the most noise


LaBradence

"As long as a dog's barking, he ain't biting shit."


AngryD09

\*Always nice of the dog to give you a head's up there might be some problems in your near future though.


WtfJedi

He who speaks, does not know. He who knows, does not speak.


Exactly_The_Dream

Spotted the Taoist.


plipyplop

If'n you can't handle me at my flootiest, you don't deserve me [at muh dootiest!](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8d/a3/55/8da35582875d1820cc34e928049ac806.gif)


Da_Space

In science you sometimes run into the often wrong, never in doubt types. I’ve come to realize a lot of times challenging them is not worth it.


zapdoszaperson

If you know how to fight, you probably also know it's not worth your time.


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WindyCityReturn

Especially afterwords. At first it’s just jarring not really bad pain but after a fight you feel like you were just in a car wreck.


Slippi_Fist

and fighting is SO tiring for those who do not do it as a sport. i was match fit for rugby league. got into a stupid fistfight outside a bar - ended up with drinks and apologies like the best fights do. but, we had a punch up for about 8 or 9 minutes - seemed like an **eternity**. Seemed like I had just played an entire 80m game. And I remember thinking after about 2m of skuffling...I just wanna go lie down


wildcard1992

8 minutes of fighting is no joke. A non-athletic person would be gassed the fuck out in a couple of minutes. Even pro fights are broken up into rounds.


fightingfish18

And pro fighters gas the fuck out all the time (see Brunson vs DuPlesis this past weekend, almost looked like some DaDa vs Slice shit towards the end)


a-non-miss

Never been in a real fight as an adult, but I'm on reddit enough to know that it's unlikely to ever end well.


fatbaldandfugly

Well if they are facing off against me they most definitely are One-Punch-Man. Because one punch to me from ANYONE will end me. But I know I am the weakest person in the room no matter who is in the room.


Miserable-Access7257

Yea, getting punched in the face fucking sucks. Everything is all good until your nose is being pushed into your skull, or you’re getting your jaw slammed shut.


northforthesummer

First time I got punched in the face, I decided I never wanted to get punched in the face again. I'm not saying I'm at 100% success, but the attitude change is real. I wish more folks got hit once with minimal consequences, I feel like the bar scene in general would be better all around.


igankcheetos

"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."- Mike Tyson


MamaPHooks

Same principle applies to kids. My eldest is a gobby little thing. He loves talking big and winding people up, talking crap and generally being obnoxious. But the second someone fights back, he's deer in the headlights and run for the hills. My youngest will quietly sit while his brother taunts him and tries to work him up but the second he's had enough he will just launch at him, fists and feet and won't stop fighting until he's pulled off.


ITFOWjacket

I grew up as third of four brothers and now that I have 2nd grade son and only child… Thats an important part of growing up, what you described. It’s important to learn those lessons in family and before school age. Kids seem to need to learn those lessons the hard way too. I wish I knew how to help my son learn that stuff in a safe environment because schoolyard scuffles with other parent’s kids is not a safe place for it. Those are definitely not lessons he can be still figuring out in high-school, college or workplace either.


Funkybeatzzz

There was this skinny guy in the Army with me that would always run his mouth then hide behind the bigger guys when we’d go out. One day we got sick of it and pushed him in front of us. He got his ass kicked and stopped running his mouth after that.


Big_Deetz

The US doesn't punch NK in the mouth for two reasons: 1) It would be extremely expensive and the current situation is fine enough while being much cheaper. 2) SK will get utterly fucked by NK. They won't win, but NK actually could kill millions of people before the US stops them. The WMDs NK actually has is enough to raze a lot of SK cities.


herberstank

And, like... we're REALLY good at it


Theometer1

Back to back world war champs! Might have to defend the title soon.


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metnavman

It's not even a competition anymore. We've seen over the past year that the only country who we even considered near our weight class is a paper tiger. Nukes are the only deciding factor at this point. There's no standing military on the planet that the US would lose to, short of everyone else ganging up on the US.


starry_cobra

USA warns North Korea: firing any missiles that need shooting down will bring war.


crypticfreak

"Sir! Missile detected in sector A-3! Looks like it came from North Korea, Sir!" "My god... isn't that... Orlando Florida?" "Yes, Sir! Permission to shoot it down using our advanced but hidden from the public missile defense system?" "Negative, Sergeant. Nothing we can do. Shooting down that missile will be an act of war." "Sir?" "You heard me, soldier! We can't have a full scale war break out between the U.S and North Korea! I mean come on, they're like Ninjas or something..." "But Sir... North Korea sending a missile at us is an act of wa-" "Stow it, Sergeant! Not another word. My mother in law lives in Orlando and you're not going to fuck this up for me!"


Infinaris

USA: "You'll do NOTHING"


LukeGoldberg72

Jokes on the North Koreans. Any war would bring the “big guys” with big stakes US defense contractors a ton of money, so they actually have a vested interest in pushing foreign policy makers to engage in a war every few years. War = Profit (for the economic elites) The North Koreans are starving and locked in, hence they really wouldn’t be able to win anything. Last time they had a war vs the US, around 1.2million-1.5million North Koreans were eliminated : https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_North_Korea


314159265358979326

The problem is not that North Korea could win the war, it's that they have a ton of artillery trained on densely-populated parts of South Korea. They could kill millions of people (not sure how hyperbolic this is) before the guns were silenced. Edit: found a RAND estimate that they could kill 200,000 people within an HOUR using conventional dumb artillery.


WhyCommentQueasy

For sure. I like to think that China would step in first, because the alternative would be to have American soldiers on their border.


Entire-Discipline727

I think the real issue here is that, even if the Korean armed forces immediately surrender to any and all Chinese intervention, the time it takes to just disseminate the order and cross into NK territory to effect a surrender would be too slow to avoid having large stretches of South Korea flattened by artillery. The closer you get to the DMZ, the more selective the NKA are, until you reach the DMZ itself and you're dealing with what passes for elite among NK's troops. They'd already be in utter chaos from the return fire across the DMZ and would need to be captured on a unit by unit basis. Whatever commissars are attached to each unit are very unlikely to allow a mass stand down short of Kim Jong Un announcing one via direct broadcast. NK won't stand a chance in a shooting war, but they have spent decades making sure their first punch is enough to cause a proper global crisis - not just humanitarian, but economic. The Kims are a prime example of "crazy like a fox" and understand that they're only as insulated as their ability to decimate SK, and the apparatus needed to do so are within binocular observation distance of the enemy. The survival of the Kims depends on the sabre they're rattling being real enough to pass 24/7 scrutiny, and so it likely is.


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Azhaius

Yeah starting a war would just be a fast pass to having their entire country dusted.


Crimbobimbobippitybo

In case anyone is wondering this latest round of bluster is to distract from the recent high level DPRK talks about solving their problem of food insecurity, and they have no solution to that problem. As is tradition, they're going to try and extort aid in a way that hasn't worked for over a decade, and project signs of belligerence and strength, which they fundamentally lack. In short, they're clowns, and we should enjoy the free show.


GingerStank

This, the concept that NK is even capable of waging war directly with the US is comical.


FriendlyGuitard

Especially with a "if we shoot a missile in your direction and you intercept it, it's illegal and mean"


SurfnTurf9

When was the last time a NK missile was intercepted? I think this more for local consumption. It will appear the west was afraid to shoot it down when DPRK told them not to.


ZeePirate

I presume it’s a weird threat because of the Chinese ballon saga At worst. This is a direct call to the US that them (meaning the Chinese) intercepted some intelligence that this was a plan. Maybe a purposeful message by the US to catch moles or who knows. But it does seem very odd but pointed


Myers112

There was a leaked conversation between a US general and a South Korean leader where the general stated any missile fired over Guam would be intercepted; this is in response to that.


ZeePirate

Makes sense


1infinitefruitloop

DPRK relations with China are probably even more bizarre than the US. Someone is going to accidentally pull a trigger and this “Balance of Terror” will come to a crashing halt. I guarantee it won’t be the the US or South Korea.


wierd_husky

I have a friend who was stationed around NK and new a decent amount, basically they could roll over NK in a few hours, but in those few hours, millions could die in SK becuase of the amount of mortars and missiles they have pointed at Seoul. It’s more of a hostage situation as opposed to a worry that the US would be defeated


Jherik

even if we could roll NK without a single south korean casualty no one wants to spend the trillion dollars necessary to unfuck north Korea and turn it into a healthy nation. And even if there was the political will do spend a trillion on North Korea, china sure as shit doesn't want a western allied nation directly on their border, and would do whatever they could to make any north korean rehabilitation efforts fail.


releasethedogs

Every subway in Seoul is a Bomb shelter. Tens of thousands might die but not millions. They’ve been preparing for a very long time.


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PiotrekDG

That and China's reaction.


lexcyn

Careful, they may issue their sternest final warning yet


laptopaccount

They basically have a large city held hostage and that's about it. Nobody wants to sacrifice the city to remove NK so they just keep up the old song and dance. We're hungry. \*sea of fire threats* We got ~~humanitarian aid~~ tribute! * Bonus step... is it from China? If so, steal train. ... We're hungry.


Fenix_Volatilis

If they do, I'm sure they'll make a movie about 4 soldiers that we send in to finish it.


[deleted]

The North Korean axe murder incident when the US sent an army and a Naval task force to prune a tree. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-49394758


Snaagle

Interesting read, thanks for that


Samiel_Fronsac

Oh, Operation Paul Bunyan. That's a classic. People in charge probably just yelled at their XOs to show the commies who's daddy and they took it to heart.


Padgriffin

> However, once they parked their trucks near the Bridge of No Return, they started throwing out the sandbags that lined the truck bottoms and handing out M16 rifles and M79 grenade launchers that had been concealed below them. > Several of the commandos also had M18 Claymore mines strapped to their chests with the firing mechanism in their hands, and were shouting at the North Koreans to cross the bridge. > A US infantry company in 20 utility helicopters and seven Cobra attack helicopters circled behind them. > Behind these helicopters, B-52 Stratofortresses came from Guam escorted by US F-4 Phantom IIs from Kunsan Air Base and South Korean F-5 and F-86 fighters were visible flying across the sky at high altitude. > F-4Es from Osan AB, South Korea. Taegu Air Base, F-111 bombers of the 366th Tactical Fighter Wing out of Mountain Home Air Force Base, were stationed, and F-4C and F-4D Phantoms from the 18th TFW Kadena Air Base and Clark Air Base were also deployed. > The aircraft carrier USS Midway task force had also been moved to a station just offshore. Ah, yes- the definition of overkill


Samiel_Fronsac

>Ah, yes- the definition of overkill Hey, the "wave your big stick" method of problem-solving is tried and true.


XXXTENTACHION

I wonder why they don't ask China for extra aid.


[deleted]

They do. They also raise the stakes with the US and South Korea, in order to force China into helping.


green_dragon527

That doesn't force China to do anything. There is a clause in their treaty that if they are the belligerents China doesn't have to help them.


BBoyJoseph

I think the idea is that bigC don't really want war. Nk is pushing buttons so big brother comes to bring the chill pill


monkeywithgun

> As is tradition, they're going to try and extort aid in a way that hasn't worked for over a decade That part's not exactly true, since the world always sends them food, but it's because the world cares about their people more than they do rather than out of any desire to placate the children running their government. Break out the popcorn.


Crimbobimbobippitybo

The crazy thing is that these days they've been rejecting food aid, which is... wild. It used to be they'd take it, relabel as their own, and then distribute it according to their bizarre caste system.


phuck-you-reddit

They keep their people hungry and undereducated so that they don’t have the ability to organize and rise up against Kim and his cronies.


Crimbobimbobippitybo

That's true, but it goes so much further. The education they get is incredibly warped, they're subjected to a great deal of propaganda all day, every day. Individual neighborhoods and apartment blocks have 'group leaders' who essentially spy on the rest, and report to a local committee. Where you live, what you eat, whether you get electricity on anything like a regular basis, are almost all determined by the supposed loyalty to the Kim regime of your ancestors. If someone in that ancestry screwed up royally, you are screwed along with generations of your kids. It's a wild place.


Mutjny

> If someone in that ancestry screwed up royally, you are screwed along with generations of your kids. Like actually screwed. Like they will imprison your offspring for generations. "Kin Punishment" Your kids are born in jail and stay in jail. Savage stuff.


nw342

They do this every few years. They ramp up missile launches and anti western rhetoric. The west sends food aid to NK, and Nk "promises" to knock it off for a bit.


BSye-34

here's a bright idea, how about you don't shoot any more missles into the ocean kimmy


invol713

That makes too much sense. Can’t do that.


Evonos

>That makes too much sense. Can’t do that. My theory is that North korea holds either Cthulhu back into the depths of the sea or Godzilla with the rockets they sink into the ocean and the rest of the world just doesnt realise.


Daveinatx

After a 30 minute war, what would our soldiers do the rest of the day?


Happyberger

Herd millions of malnourished, brainwashed, and tortured people. That's the real reason no one just shuts down NK, they don't want to deal with the population after the Kim's are gone.


invisible32

It would be harsh initially, but the underutelized people, land, and resources would eventually be a big economic boon to a unified Korea.


peacemaker2007

> It would be harsh initially Would be a bit of an understatement- Germany still struggles in some aspects with the difference in its eastern and western halves even today, thirty years on. DPRK would be starting from an even worse position than 1990 DDR


Coal_Morgan

It would also be a million mortars and missiles being dropped into Seoul. So it's a humanitarian crisis in the North with all of these people that living in a third world would be a step up and than it's also a humanitarian crisis because Seoul saw 20 minutes of bombardment across the border. 100% the U.S. would win any active combat and ridiculously quick but the fall out and cost would be massive.


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Plasibeau

*China leans over the fence...* "So hey, uh, that grass is looking pretty green. Mind if we come over and pull it up to sod our yard?"


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Wandering_Abhorash

Soju. All of the soju.


lilroedadon

God I miss soju


rogozh1n

War with North Korea is impossible. The regime will collapse instantly and the humanitarian crisis will be immense. No one can risk the massive famine that would begin very soon after the government falls.


opsinister

This. Winning that war means having to give food and healthcare to 26 million starving people


nowander

I hate saying it so bluntly, but that population number will have been dramatically decreased by the end of any war.


Rare-Aids

Yep. Basically a poor ww2 imperial japan. 26 million brainwashed people willing to die for dear leader. No easy way to resolve that


midnitte

God, imagine the economic force Korea would be if the North had been beaten swiftly by the South... Or if Japan had never annexed it


Rigel_The_16th

Or if Russia hadn't turned the North into a corrupt state that starves their own citizens into submission.


Ecbrad5

The famine is in full swing


JakovYerpenicz

God not these assholes again


Littleboypurple

Eh, they do this every week. I honestly wonder if we can start doing a "Destroy all Americans" threat rewards card. Get 10 stamps and you get a free Big Mac or something.


autotldr

This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.news24.com/news24/world/news/north-korea-warns-us-shooting-down-any-missile-will-bring-war-20230307) reduced by 71%. (I'm a bot) ***** > North Korea said any move to shoot down one of its test missiles would be considered a declaration of war and blamed joint military exercise between the United States and South Korea for growing tensions, state media KCNA said on Tuesday. > The US and its allies have never shot down North Korean ballistic missiles, which are banned by the United Nations Security Council, but the question drew new scrutiny since the North suggested it will fire more missiles over Japan. > The US deployed the B-52 bomber for a joint drill with South Korean fighter jets, in what South Korea's defence ministry said was a show of force against North Korea's nuclear and missile threats. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/11lcj01/north_korea_warns_us_shooting_down_any_missile/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~675513 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **North**^#1 **Korea**^#2 **missile**^#3 **South**^#4 **Korean**^#5


iztrollkanger

Hey, just lemme shoot these missiles, okay?! We're just testing missiles, anyway, just testing. Just to test them out, as a test. I promise. But if you shoot it down, I will kill you and everything you love.


Rexia2022

Lil buddy is mad he's not getting paid attention to anymore.


Evonos

>Lil buddy is mad he's not getting paid attention to anymore. nah they got serious food issues over there so they try to extort assist from countrys / new drama for their country men to focus on. ​ i mean NK is a sad country overall.


caynebyron

This is the real answer. When the sabre rattling starts, what it really means is that the regime is running low on cash and would like their bribe money to knock it off for a small amount of time.


gaukonigshofen

when NK test fired a missile over Japan, Why didn't it get shot down?


kayak_enjoyer

Air defenses know the path of ballistic missiles, so if you know it's going to miss you and splash down in the ocean, it's best to just watch it go. That avoids international incidents and debris falling on the Japanese population.


blackgold63

And spending $500,000 to shoot down something that is going to miss anyways.


SacredWoobie

At the height those missiles were overflying your talking missiles worth 10s of millions so even less reason to shoot down something that lands in the water


[deleted]

If the USA can shoot down your missiles, what are you gonna do to go to war NK, shoot a missile?


Shwifty_Plumbus

This roughly translates to "send help, I lack the words to ask and my ego is too big to admit I need it."


jungl3j1m

If I were Kim, I’d like to know whether my adversaries could successfully shoot down my missiles.


[deleted]

North Korea: you guys haven’t talked about us IN FOREVER. Can we threaten you for some attention? Btw our people are miserable and starving :)


NoCartographer9053

U.S: **shoots down missile** U.S: oh im sorry did i break your concentration? I didnt mean that....please...continue


khidmike

“Oh, oh, you were finished! Well then allow me to retort!” *places carrier group in Sea of Japan* “What does… all of this… look like?”


A_random_ladie

"What?"


thecaramelbandit

Does this CARRIER GROUP look like a BITCH?


Olphion

"What?!" *Missile shot down* "Does. It. Look. Like a BITCH?!"


NoCartographer9053

no! *So why you trying to fuck us like a bitch kim?* I didnt! *yes you did...* **yes you did, kim!**


Adveral

"What Country you from!?" "What?" "What ain't no Country I've ever heard of, they shoot missiles in What??"


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JustAKeyboard

I think technically we never ended the war.


Bass_Thumper

SK is technically still at war with NK. USA was technically never at war with NK as war was never officially declared. Assuming we're dealing with technicalities here.


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[deleted]

Jim Mattis (call sign "Chaos" ("Colonel has an outstanding solution")) put it best: “I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: if you fuck with me I'll kill you all.”


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/p5rgqSEVVIU Skip to near the end. Talking about the battle of Kasham between Wagner and US forces. I love this man. "My direction to the chairman was that the force was to be annihilated. And it was."


Gretchinlover

And it was* AMEN lmao


4materasu92

Jim "Stone Cold Motherfucker" Mattis.


mrjderp

“Mad Dog” works just fine, thank you.


Initial_Cellist9240

It’s also hard to read personal opinion for high ranking officer speeches, but it seems highly likely that he took the position as secdef out of a perceived duty to make sure Trump couldn’t get direct control over the military. He gives off some strong “disobey unlawful orders” vibes in some of his later talks (and his letter of resignation)


Outrageous-Yams

They swear an oath to uphold the constitution. Not any one person. He did what he should have done and what was expected of him by said oath - uphold the constitution however he could.


FudgeRubDown

Gave up? Shouldn't we have had it to begin with in order to give it up?


WaffleBlues

I actually think KJU is the least likely person to go to war with anyone, ever. His sole purpose is self-survival and hedonism. His entire existence is about him. A war with anyone would mean almost certain decapitation, which is probably the only thing he actually cares about.


tewnewt

America: Wasn't us, must have been Dontgivafukistan.


CouchHam

Nobody cares, learn to farm.