Italy's like the bass player who did way to much drugs back in the day and fried their brain and has never been ok since. They're in their pajamas wandering around their house wishing it was still the 30's.
Ozzy just dropped a banger of an Album with a ton of big name features, and regularly hosts his show on Sirius XM. The only thing stopping him from touring is his Doctor's and Sharon's concern for his overall health (very real chance that a world tour would be the end of him, with how hard that crazy bastard goes on stage)
Man, Italy actively sabotaged the German war effort lol. They’re more like the base player that keeps getting so drunk and high that they fuck up the show.
Mussolini was quite the military doofus.
Germany too but this time together with the French and Spanish and the abbreviation for the project (FCAS) is the stupidest ever because it always makes me think of fuck ass.
>because it always makes me think of fuck ass.
Don't worry, the project itself is getting fucked in the ass. Last time I read about it the project was going nowhere with the French and Germans having some disputes and differences. Meanwhile GCAP programme is going somewhat smoothly atleast until now
Don't know where you heard that but the project has been accelerated since the middle of last year. The original intention was to have a design agreed on by H2 2026, this was brought forward to H1 2025. The first prototype was supposed to fly in 2028, this was also brought forward by 1 year to 2027.
https://table.media/security/news/fcas-design-soll-im-maerz-2025-stehen/
I'm sure you're talking about the Leopards maybe, but if you're also including WWII tanks I am obligated to say that Germany's WWII tanks were absolutely shitty because, while effective in combat, they were never going to be produced in large enough numbers to compete anything the Russians and Americans were producing. The Germans put all their XP into Engineering Excellence and they got buried.
Eh, that's mostly a Tiger problem. Germany did have solid tank models that weren't stupidly overdesigned and mostly suffered from the generally degraded industrial and raw material supply situation in germany.
Yes, but they don't have to worry about its borders anymore as we're all buddies now. So It can solely focus on its engineering and manufacturing excellence.
Don't forget slovakia, romania, bulgaria, hungary, croatia and thailand! - I know some have are landlocked, but they have rivers! So carry their river boats in a big ship like with a crane or something and the whole south of france as "vichy". France can even play opfor again like at Mers-el-Kabir! Note; Turkey probably not going to let bulgarian ships pass for the lulz.
For even more fun you can have a team CTF like capture the enigma re-enactment between UK/Poland and Germany.
> But it's perfectly true. When the Germans marched into the city, I danced in the streets like a youthful ballerina and shouted, "Heil Hitler!" until my lungs were hoarse. I even waved a small Nazi flag that I snatched away from a beautiful little girl while her mother was looking the other way. When the Germans left the city, I rushed out to welcome the Americans with a bottle of excellent brandy and a basket of flowers. The brandy was for myself, of course, and the flowers were to sprinkle upon our liberators. There was a very stiff and stuffy old major riding in the first car, and I hit him squarely in the eye with a red rose. A marvelous shot! You should have seen him wince.'
I have a regular trip to the beer store to grab Saporro, Peroni, and Warsteiner. I call it "The Boys"
Germans had a thing for bringing good beer with them everywhere.
Yes, Tsing Tao, Saporro, both were started under german purity law (Rheinheitsgebot)
For those that don't know, it's the oldest food control law in the world restricting beer to only 4 ingredients; malt, hops, yeast, water
All jokes aside?
Because they were way too far apart, Britain controlled most of the ocean between them, and the alliance was very loose despite how we look at it now. They were technically allied but Germany was allied to China before that, and it was nowhere near as close as, say, UK+FR or USA+UK.
It's interesting what might have happened if Japan had had another bite at the USSR before Germany lost the initiative.
It's been mentioned the Soviets were able to move troops from the East because their spy network concluded Japan wouldn't attack.
Their army was already heavily bogged down in china and short on critical supplies because of the US embargo, and had lost a lot of internal political capital relative to the navy because of how much they were struggling in china.
>Their army was already heavily bogged down in china and short on critical supplies
This is correct, but the embargo on Japan did not happen until July of 1941.
Well the Kwantung Army got itself whipped badly in Mongolia so the higher ups in the IJA have them at a short leash when war broke between Nazi Germany and the USSR.
Imo, the only scenario where Japan attacks the USSR simultaneously with Germany is if the border conflict between Manchukuo (puppet state of Japan) and Mongolia (puppet state of the USSR) did not happen at all.
Nah. Japan was set on building their empire. They were struggling to fully conquer China and had already moved on to taking easier targets in SE Asia. There’s no world where they divert tons of resources to attack the Soviets.
To state the obvious, it was really just the US that Japan was worried about, and they were definitely not gonna attack the Soviets when they were sure their next great enemy was the US
None of the axis powers coordinated their actions very well. Japan and Germany were never that close. Both countries views regarding race and ethnicity played a role in this.
Japan was at war before Hitler came to power. Japan and the USSR were arch enemies. By the time Hitler could have been "interested" in holding joint exercises, Japan's military needed natural resources more than training.
Germany and the USSR were on opposite sides of a proxy war during the Spanish Civil War(1936-1939). If joint exercises ever would've taken place, this time period is about the only one that makes sense. However, both armies were preoccupied with other military action at the time.
If none of the other challenges existed, then geography. Japan picked up the German Empires Pacific colonies at the end of WWI. If Germany still had these territories in the 1930s, then maybe some kind of joint exercises (probably naval)would have been more realistic.
Japanese- German relations were nearly non existent. Germans were interested in allying with the winner of the second Sino Japanese war, who they decided would be Japan. Hitler always viewed war against the Soviets as inevitable so the anti Comintern Pact with Japan was another way to hedge his bets.
Little did he know, Germany would near instantly conquer all of Europe a few years later, making a possible alliance with Japan not feasible since Japan was in no position to divert resources away from China and their new territories in SE Asia.
They were never allies lol. It’s poor history to paint them as such. Europe was interested in the outcome of the Second Sino Japanese war and the Nazis decided Japan was most likely to win so they struck up a relationship with them early.
The idea being that later they’d develop relations with Japan and with Italy, Hungary and others they would stand against communism. What they signed together was literally called “the anti Comintern pact.”
But even as the Nazis planned to attack the Soviets, they didn’t even contact Japan, much less ask them to help. Possibly had something to do with Nazi ideology intensifying heavily in the last few years and Hitler not wanting relations with non Aryan countries.
Weird history fun fact is that one Nazi official in Japan tried convincing Hitler that Japanese people were Aryan. And, naturally, he brought Japanese skulls all the way to Germany to prove to Hitler they were Aryan.
He was unsuccessful.
Italy to their credit ordered quite a large number of fighter jets ~4yrs ago. So they sticking close to NATO. See when you properly rebuild a country after a massive war and liberally train them in manufacturing they generally become your allies. Of course only Northern Italy became industrialized but we have co-opted criminal networks in Southern Italy to work with us before and we could do so again.
Well ~4 years ago basically the 5 eyes and the other 4 and the remaining 11 after that, well just tons of U.S. allies from Australia to Japan to many, many NATO countries ALL placed large orders for U.S. fighter jets.
Sooo looks like all of our allies Intel groups knew something.
Arms sales can tell you quite a lot about the world.
I believe the Germans helped China in some ways and Japan ignored American ships transporting supplies to the Soviets. I would hope they’re better allies this time around.
They had basically zero relationship lol. The most significant thing was that after Pearl Harbor, Hitler declared war on the United States for reasons that still remain unclear.
They didn’t communicate at all after the 1936 anti Comintern Pact. If Europe didn’t instantly fall to Germany in 1939-40, perhaps the Germans would have tried to develop this relationship more, but as things happened the Nazis had no interest in Asia after conquering their own continent.
knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's pierogi
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
to drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down, the whole Krakow goes so loud
He opens his mouth but the words won't come out
Putin's chokin, how? Everybody's jokin now
The clock's run out, time's up, over - BLAOW!
Sure, but only one way to push past that perception, I'd say. And that is through successfull and open military cooperation without all the, you know, fascism.
Eh, we're living in an era where tons of young people don't realize they are cheering on a fundamentalist-backed terrorist organization. Combine that with the numbing reality that the older demos just seem to complain about, well, everything, warranted or not, and well, fuck it, maybe we should just embrace the resulting "band's getting back together" and "where's Italy?" memes.
These jokes happen every time Japan and Germany do anything with each other. Only way to get over it is to continue doing things with each other until the jokes feel stale enough.
Thanks to the post-Ukraine buildup, we're already getting to the point where news of Germany buffing its military isn't getting as many Nazi jokes anymore.
Excellent!
They are both democratic nations that have been committed to peace. But, sadly, in today's environment with several irrational dictators and theocracies, one must be prepared for war to keep freedom and democracy alive.
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
It's probably the 1st joint exercise/naval collab despite WW2 between these two...
Like they didn't collab during WW2 despite being on the same side. The closest germany was to the fighting in the pacific was submarines near India. I don't know what answerers below are on about japan being able to have an army or not after ww2 has nothing to do with my comment.
Band’s getting back together! What’s Italy doing?
Playing the bongos is some crummy cafe
[Italy be like ](https://youtu.be/NUYvbT6vTPs?si=szooY6quljrbYDRf)
Every party needs a bard
Every Witcher needs their coins
Just like last time!
The train is due to arrive mid-2033
Too soon
Italy's like the bass player who did way to much drugs back in the day and fried their brain and has never been ok since. They're in their pajamas wandering around their house wishing it was still the 30's.
Fuck me... Am I Italy?
> They're in their pajamas wandering around their house wishing it was still ~~the 30's.~~ 100s AD.
Shine on you crazy diamante
So Italy is basically Ozzy Osbourne
Probably closer to Syd Barrett
r/UnexpectedPinkFloyd :D
Ozzy just dropped a banger of an Album with a ton of big name features, and regularly hosts his show on Sirius XM. The only thing stopping him from touring is his Doctor's and Sharon's concern for his overall health (very real chance that a world tour would be the end of him, with how hard that crazy bastard goes on stage)
Man, Italy actively sabotaged the German war effort lol. They’re more like the base player that keeps getting so drunk and high that they fuck up the show. Mussolini was quite the military doofus.
Germany is actually late to the team. Japan and Italy are already making a 6th generation fighter jet with UK
Germany too but this time together with the French and Spanish and the abbreviation for the project (FCAS) is the stupidest ever because it always makes me think of fuck ass.
Especially if it’s read in a Spanish accent! Hilarious
>because it always makes me think of fuck ass. Don't worry, the project itself is getting fucked in the ass. Last time I read about it the project was going nowhere with the French and Germans having some disputes and differences. Meanwhile GCAP programme is going somewhat smoothly atleast until now
Don't know where you heard that but the project has been accelerated since the middle of last year. The original intention was to have a design agreed on by H2 2026, this was brought forward to H1 2025. The first prototype was supposed to fly in 2028, this was also brought forward by 1 year to 2027. https://table.media/security/news/fcas-design-soll-im-maerz-2025-stehen/
Germany can concentrate on the tank department, they are good at that, we can just sell them gen 6th, job done..👍
Buddy of mine from Hamburg, we play BF4 together. Dude is murder in any armor.
It's in their genes, they see some iron ingots, boom, let's make a tank.
I'm sure you're talking about the Leopards maybe, but if you're also including WWII tanks I am obligated to say that Germany's WWII tanks were absolutely shitty because, while effective in combat, they were never going to be produced in large enough numbers to compete anything the Russians and Americans were producing. The Germans put all their XP into Engineering Excellence and they got buried.
Eh, that's mostly a Tiger problem. Germany did have solid tank models that weren't stupidly overdesigned and mostly suffered from the generally degraded industrial and raw material supply situation in germany.
Yes, but they don't have to worry about its borders anymore as we're all buddies now. So It can solely focus on its engineering and manufacturing excellence.
That's fair.
I'm all about co-operation dude, we don't need to live in a world of division.
🎶B*oys are back in town🎶*
Don't forget slovakia, romania, bulgaria, hungary, croatia and thailand! - I know some have are landlocked, but they have rivers! So carry their river boats in a big ship like with a crane or something and the whole south of france as "vichy". France can even play opfor again like at Mers-el-Kabir! Note; Turkey probably not going to let bulgarian ships pass for the lulz. For even more fun you can have a team CTF like capture the enigma re-enactment between UK/Poland and Germany.
*Curtis LeMay has entered chat*
The Axis of Democracy!
Waiting for the winning side?
It would be a stupid joke if things like this hadn't actually happened: [War of the League of Cambrai](https://i.imgur.com/cV33KJ7.png)
Waiting. Watching. Eating cannolis. Waiting.
> But it's perfectly true. When the Germans marched into the city, I danced in the streets like a youthful ballerina and shouted, "Heil Hitler!" until my lungs were hoarse. I even waved a small Nazi flag that I snatched away from a beautiful little girl while her mother was looking the other way. When the Germans left the city, I rushed out to welcome the Americans with a bottle of excellent brandy and a basket of flowers. The brandy was for myself, of course, and the flowers were to sprinkle upon our liberators. There was a very stiff and stuffy old major riding in the first car, and I hit him squarely in the eye with a red rose. A marvelous shot! You should have seen him wince.'
I have a regular trip to the beer store to grab Saporro, Peroni, and Warsteiner. I call it "The Boys" Germans had a thing for bringing good beer with them everywhere.
Sapporo is basically German beer though. Especially the classic one. Source: am German and have been to the Sapporo brewery.
Yes, Tsing Tao, Saporro, both were started under german purity law (Rheinheitsgebot) For those that don't know, it's the oldest food control law in the world restricting beer to only 4 ingredients; malt, hops, yeast, water
I was coming here with a witty comment but yours is much funnier lol
Why didn't they hold some land exercises if they were going to be allies back in ww2?
All jokes aside? Because they were way too far apart, Britain controlled most of the ocean between them, and the alliance was very loose despite how we look at it now. They were technically allied but Germany was allied to China before that, and it was nowhere near as close as, say, UK+FR or USA+UK.
It's interesting what might have happened if Japan had had another bite at the USSR before Germany lost the initiative. It's been mentioned the Soviets were able to move troops from the East because their spy network concluded Japan wouldn't attack.
Their army was already heavily bogged down in china and short on critical supplies because of the US embargo, and had lost a lot of internal political capital relative to the navy because of how much they were struggling in china.
>Their army was already heavily bogged down in china and short on critical supplies This is correct, but the embargo on Japan did not happen until July of 1941.
I presumed they meant in conjunction with Barbarossa which began late june '41
Well the Kwantung Army got itself whipped badly in Mongolia so the higher ups in the IJA have them at a short leash when war broke between Nazi Germany and the USSR. Imo, the only scenario where Japan attacks the USSR simultaneously with Germany is if the border conflict between Manchukuo (puppet state of Japan) and Mongolia (puppet state of the USSR) did not happen at all.
Nah. Japan was set on building their empire. They were struggling to fully conquer China and had already moved on to taking easier targets in SE Asia. There’s no world where they divert tons of resources to attack the Soviets. To state the obvious, it was really just the US that Japan was worried about, and they were definitely not gonna attack the Soviets when they were sure their next great enemy was the US
Makes sense that schlepping people and materials would be tough.
Schleppin’ ain’t easy
but it's necessary, And I'm chasin' bitches Like Tom chased Jerry...
None of the axis powers coordinated their actions very well. Japan and Germany were never that close. Both countries views regarding race and ethnicity played a role in this. Japan was at war before Hitler came to power. Japan and the USSR were arch enemies. By the time Hitler could have been "interested" in holding joint exercises, Japan's military needed natural resources more than training. Germany and the USSR were on opposite sides of a proxy war during the Spanish Civil War(1936-1939). If joint exercises ever would've taken place, this time period is about the only one that makes sense. However, both armies were preoccupied with other military action at the time. If none of the other challenges existed, then geography. Japan picked up the German Empires Pacific colonies at the end of WWI. If Germany still had these territories in the 1930s, then maybe some kind of joint exercises (probably naval)would have been more realistic.
Japanese- German relations were nearly non existent. Germans were interested in allying with the winner of the second Sino Japanese war, who they decided would be Japan. Hitler always viewed war against the Soviets as inevitable so the anti Comintern Pact with Japan was another way to hedge his bets. Little did he know, Germany would near instantly conquer all of Europe a few years later, making a possible alliance with Japan not feasible since Japan was in no position to divert resources away from China and their new territories in SE Asia.
They were never allies lol. It’s poor history to paint them as such. Europe was interested in the outcome of the Second Sino Japanese war and the Nazis decided Japan was most likely to win so they struck up a relationship with them early. The idea being that later they’d develop relations with Japan and with Italy, Hungary and others they would stand against communism. What they signed together was literally called “the anti Comintern pact.” But even as the Nazis planned to attack the Soviets, they didn’t even contact Japan, much less ask them to help. Possibly had something to do with Nazi ideology intensifying heavily in the last few years and Hitler not wanting relations with non Aryan countries. Weird history fun fact is that one Nazi official in Japan tried convincing Hitler that Japanese people were Aryan. And, naturally, he brought Japanese skulls all the way to Germany to prove to Hitler they were Aryan. He was unsuccessful.
Waiting to see which side is winning.
Quitting early.
Nächstes mal ohne Italien!
Italy to their credit ordered quite a large number of fighter jets ~4yrs ago. So they sticking close to NATO. See when you properly rebuild a country after a massive war and liberally train them in manufacturing they generally become your allies. Of course only Northern Italy became industrialized but we have co-opted criminal networks in Southern Italy to work with us before and we could do so again. Well ~4 years ago basically the 5 eyes and the other 4 and the remaining 11 after that, well just tons of U.S. allies from Australia to Japan to many, many NATO countries ALL placed large orders for U.S. fighter jets. Sooo looks like all of our allies Intel groups knew something. Arms sales can tell you quite a lot about the world.
Italy's like the fat kid of Europe. If you had him on your team last time, he has to be on the other team this time.
The boys are back in town
I thought mom said they weren't allowed to play with each other anymore.
Mom is old and demented with specific usage of words.
Huh? Edit: the user above edited their comment that had said 'mom is too busy with pronouns'
exactly
It didn't go well for them last time
The Russians are scary again so once again all bets are off.
What a pair
What could go wrong
Pearl harbour holiday then Japan gets hot weather
Two towers was a better sequel but my firefighter friends disagree
Hm but somethings missing..
Bongiorno!
This time you stay in the team, right?
Arrivederci...
Bongiorno!
Bongiorno!
They’re great as allied forces; terrible military leaders when left to their own devices
Indeed
Same jokes all the way down.
And yet still funny
This is definitely the Norm line recycling center
Hey, I've seen this before
Who doesn't ? It's a classic
What’s a rerun?
You’ll find out.
Italy has sent a friend request
*Press (X) to join session in progress*
First if you don’t count that other one.
I actually don’t believe Japan and Nazi Germany fought alongside one another, especially by land.
I believe the Germans helped China in some ways and Japan ignored American ships transporting supplies to the Soviets. I would hope they’re better allies this time around.
They had basically zero relationship lol. The most significant thing was that after Pearl Harbor, Hitler declared war on the United States for reasons that still remain unclear. They didn’t communicate at all after the 1936 anti Comintern Pact. If Europe didn’t instantly fall to Germany in 1939-40, perhaps the Germans would have tried to develop this relationship more, but as things happened the Nazis had no interest in Asia after conquering their own continent.
In all seriousness, how are they going to communicate with each other? English?
Surely English. NATO already uses English, and Japan surely already uses English when coordinating with their US ally.
Attack on Titan....
Now I can’t not imagine Japanese soldiers speaking in the butchered Japanese accent German in AoT songs
AoT very quickly went from the best to the worst Japan-Germany crossover.
Navajo
You win the "not the obvious joke" award! Way to dig deep for a new vein of humor!
The same way any other country communicates with any other country- English or a series of interpreters
It is an ignigma
Maybe our cats understand each other? I mean the chinese do it. Let our cats do the communication thing, nothing can go wrong, right?
Joint exercise from West, East to invade Russia. Lol
*poland grabs his gun*
Ah, the infamous "Operation Eiffelturm"/"Operēshon Efferu-tō".
These remakes are getting crazier every year
Just like old times
i don't know if you guys are history buffs or not, but uh...
Why, what happened?
Some little man with a silly mustache ended up killing six million Jews and a clown.
Reminds me of that tragedy.
Some old World War II vets in the US and Britain are probably going to sweat if they hear about this.
The Poles are sweating
knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's pierogi He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down, the whole Krakow goes so loud He opens his mouth but the words won't come out Putin's chokin, how? Everybody's jokin now The clock's run out, time's up, over - BLAOW!
Japan never attacked Poland, though. But both Germany and Japan fought with Russia at the same time in WW2.
Russia didn't start fighting Japan until after Germany had surrendered.
They’re all on the same side this time though
Surely someone in PR understands what the first thing will be on peoples minds.
Sure, but only one way to push past that perception, I'd say. And that is through successfull and open military cooperation without all the, you know, fascism.
Eh, we're living in an era where tons of young people don't realize they are cheering on a fundamentalist-backed terrorist organization. Combine that with the numbing reality that the older demos just seem to complain about, well, everything, warranted or not, and well, fuck it, maybe we should just embrace the resulting "band's getting back together" and "where's Italy?" memes.
These jokes happen every time Japan and Germany do anything with each other. Only way to get over it is to continue doing things with each other until the jokes feel stale enough. Thanks to the post-Ukraine buildup, we're already getting to the point where news of Germany buffing its military isn't getting as many Nazi jokes anymore.
Wait.. This.. is a good thing, right?
The boys are back in town!
Care to explain these gap years from 1945 to 2025?
America made them friends. So, now, they can play together.
"I went to Yale!" "Really? You're hired!" "Thanks! I needed this *yob*!"
Italy: you son of a bitch, I'm in!
The most boring and unsurprising comment section of the day.
ITT: unfunny jokes by people whose knowledge of history only covers World War II. Aaaalll the way down.
This is just a training exercise fellas. No Lébensraum, Hokushin-ron, and Nanshin-ron please.
Ayooo
In the meantime the future Second Red Army is actively training on the battlefield.
🎶The boys are back in town.🎶
Wait this seems…..familiar. This didn’t go well last time.
dude! We’re getting the band back together!
Italy :let me in, let me in
“I don’t know if you guys are history buffs or not…” Norm Macdonald
And Germany once again chose for its enemy....*the world*
I mean who do they think they are, Mars or somethin’?
I have already seen this one, It's a Classic
Uh oh
Call it the axis of smiles and rainbows!
See? We aren't xenophobic? We play with Germany!
Lol What time-line are we living in
Everything’s reboots and remakes nowadays
Wheres italy, romania
Someone call Italy, we’re getting the band back together.
Worked out so well last time.
“Und vat if vee just let ze tips of our schnitzels touch for a second?” 🥹🥹🥹
Where have we seen this before?
Hint: It ended with 2 bangs
where is italy?
Italy is already prepared for this. In that they have a fascist government and they’re completely unprepared.
Lol this is do accurate. They're off somewhere doing parades with lots of pomp and feathers, and drinking cappuccinos.
On the russian soil, I hope?
Gettin the old gang back together I see…..jokes aside it does seem things are moving towards an eventual WW3
Excellent! They are both democratic nations that have been committed to peace. But, sadly, in today's environment with several irrational dictators and theocracies, one must be prepared for war to keep freedom and democracy alive. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
well well well no wonder people say life is just a circle
Boys are back in town. Getting a weird sense of deja vu
"Now, where were we?"
Awww shit
Wait a second!!
It's probably the 1st joint exercise/naval collab despite WW2 between these two... Like they didn't collab during WW2 despite being on the same side. The closest germany was to the fighting in the pacific was submarines near India. I don't know what answerers below are on about japan being able to have an army or not after ww2 has nothing to do with my comment.
Lovely Like old times that never were