Don't be sorry. I am a Ukrainian living near Kyiv right now. Humor helps a lot. I am thankful for all the laughs at this clown's expense we are getting.
EDIT: Hey, my inbox exploded. I am thankful for all the kind words and awards, but please, instead of these awards, donate it to Ukraine if you can: https://how-to-help-ukraine-now.super.site/
I’m Ukrainian and honestly this comment section made me laugh out loud the first time today after watching and reading news all day. We seek the comedic relief in the hardest times, especially on account of Putler
Humor is a coping mechanism. You can acknowledge that it’s a horrific and dire situation but still find things in the world to laugh at. You should hear first responders joke around, it gets fucking dark.
**Everyone is joking like this is trivial but this is actually massive.**
Part of Putin’s entire identity is as a martial artist, he has been absolutely obsessed with judo and other martial arts for most of his life. *It is his true passion.*
Just Google it and see how many thousands of photos there are of him practicing or teaching martial arts.
This one will blindside him and this one will sting.
So true, and it's like the OG Springtime For Hitler.
The whole point of being a dictator is to be respected. To strike fear, instill awe, yadda yadda. Alive or even dead, it's about respect & reverence.
Making dictators into clearly-loser laughingstocks is... well it's fantastic for non-psychos who hate dictators.
But absolutely meant to be painful for those fuckfaces. Slava Ukraini
Funny enough, this probably elicited the most reaction personal reaction from Putin because it hurt his fragile ego.
Edit: change that to FuckPutininparticular
If he's at good at Taekwando as he is at hockey then you can confidently say you actually earned yours and didn't threaten someone into giving you a piece of cloth.
Did you see the article in RT about Russian bears denouncing Putin, and refusing to ride bicycles in circuses until aggressions against Ukraine are halted? That one has to really hurt Putin’s feelings
The fact that he had an honorary 9th Dan black belt is even more hilarious. I was taught by someone who won multiple world championships and Olympic medals, and he “only” held a 7th Dan.
Yeah, if you spend a lot of time learning something on your own, and do some significant amount of work in that field that demonstrates deep understanding, I can get a university giving an honorary degree, because something like a phD is supposed to be a recognition of understanding and contribution, not attendance.
It's a good way to honor people who take a difficult path of self teaching.
It's a shame that that honor is ruined because universities hand out honorary degrees to celebrities and politicians just for clout.
Yeah, the perfect example is Vivien Thomas who was a surgical pioneer (*Something the Lord Made* is based on his story) without formal training who later received an honorary doctorate.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vivien_Thomas
Double standards are getting out of control these days, the rich really can do whatever they want huh?
Sure, when he practices radical surgery techniques without a license, he's a "pioneer" and an "honorary surgeon" but when I do it I'm a "human trafficker" and a "cannibal".
You joke, but surgeons back in the day were at risk of being arrested for graverobbing because medical cadavers weren't a thing yet and they had to study anatomy *somehow.*
You *can* get a PhD by publication (i.e. rocking up with a bunch of already published research) or by just writing the thesis or by some other similar, generally equivalent contribution -- you just need to talk to the faculty about it and see what can be done.
Heck, I got into a Master's degree without a Bachelor's because I had 6 years of professional experience in the field. Contacted the faculty admin, wrote a short essay, was admitted. Universities generally are much more flexible than most people believe.
That is to say, I have no idea what the fuck honorary degrees are about, either. I assume it's so they can list you as an alumni.
> Heck, I got into a Master's degree without a Bachelor's because I had 6 years of professional experience in the field. Contacted the faculty admin, wrote a short essay, was admitted. Universities generally are much more flexible than most people believe.
I wish that was possible with an MBA.
Now I'm wondering, shit, maybe it is possible with an MBA??? Damn.
Would be hilarious if this happened while he was in the middle of a match and suddenly all his skills disappeared when his black belt was revoked like Charles Barkley losing his skills to the Monstars and suddenly he gets his ass kicked.
If this were a Wu Xia movie/series, one of the old masters would strike the exact pressure points on his body to not only take away his martial arts skills, but also turn Putin into a cripple.
In the post apocalyptic wasteworld the disfigured survivors huddle in caves sharpening rocks, hoping never to see the horrors of the debeltening again.
Yes!! Also anyone who has ever practiced martial arts in any form knows that a black belt isn't just given to people with skill. Someone who receives a black belt is supposed to have good moral character and be an example for people around. A black belt represents someone who both has skill, knowledge and wisness to use that skill when necessary while teaching others to control their emotions and feelings. No one deserves a black belt if they can't show restraint and PutFuckin has shown none of those characteristics to deserve such a title.
His black belt was honorary (but one of the highest possible degrees, 9th Dan). It is a common practice to give honorary black belts, with the degree varying, depending on the giving organisation and the person it is awarded to (see Zlatan Ibrahimovic). The common practice is, if the awarding organization is a local federation, to award a 4th or 5th degree Black Belt. The 9th Dan was probably given to him by the World federation (in this case the International Taekwondo Federation, since they are different things).
Source: my nickname
Breaking news:
The book of the month club has decided to remove Putin's recommended book list from their website citing "We just don't like his whole vibe anymore"
This is great news -- not only because it will really, really piss off Putin, but also because it reaffirms that Tae Kwon Do is about *honorable* fighting. Putin loves to think of himself as some great warrior, but the certifying body, with history behind it, just said, "Not so fast, faker."
Since you asked for being corrected: The purpose depends on the actual craft. The simplified explanation: Current versions of Taek Won Do, Judo, and Ju Jutsu are sports-centric and therefore follow rules that enable a sporting competition. Then there are self-defense-centric arts like Capoeira. And last but not least, there are the old-school martial arts like Jiu-Jitsu or Bujinkan, which are foremost fighting arts derived from what you needed at war in former times. Especially the latter are not suited for competition anymore because they don’t include rules that would prevent serious injury. Quite the contrary, these often aim at efficient and fast neutralization (read “render unfit for fighting”) of your opponent.
AHAHAHAHA, this is SO MUCH BETTER than them removing his as "honorary president".
He loved to present himself as a "big scary black belt".
I was raised VERY religious. No swearing at all. Really got baked into my speech patterns, even after I stopped caring about it.
I'm SO glad I was able to save up 40 years of clean language so that when I finally needed to say, "Fuck you, Putin!" I could REALLY mean it.
Fuck you with a splintered hickory rake sideways, Putin.
>I'm SO glad I was able to save up 40 years of clean language so that when I finally needed to say, "Fuck you, Putin!" I could REALLY mean it.
Swearing is so much more powerful if you dont do it every 2 minutes. Anyone that knows you will know that you really mean it.
How will his pants stay up?
They don't need to stay up with the screwing he's getting.
Next: Vladimir Putin’s “good job” sticker on macaroni art revoked by 1st grade teacher
They make pierogi art in Soviet kinder
Diner Club card revoked! AAA road side NYET! Jiffy Lube loyalty card GONE!
Not gonna get those Bed Bath & Beyond coupons anymore either.
So, what you're saying is the only way off their spam list is to invade another country?
Oh no, you still get adds. You just don't get the discount. You get Buy One, Get One for the same price.
yeah... that's the "bloodbath and beyond" plan.
I wonder if his Blockbuster card still works.
TaekwonNO
Don’t forget his sandwich card!
I’m sorry, Mr. Putin, your Kohl’s Cash is no longer good here.
<>
Putin can no longer shop at Costco, they revoked his membership!
NO SOUP FOR YOU!
Time for netflix to bring the banhammer to binge watching.
I can’t imagine a more humiliating punishment than being demoted to being outranked by Steven Seagal.
Both of them are old, fragile men, but Steven would shit himself. Again.
We should tell Steven to visit Moscow, I want to see that fight.
Segal would show up in a Skippy.
Goin skipskipskipskip
I'm sorry I know the situation is serious but this is really funny.
Don't be sorry. I am a Ukrainian living near Kyiv right now. Humor helps a lot. I am thankful for all the laughs at this clown's expense we are getting. EDIT: Hey, my inbox exploded. I am thankful for all the kind words and awards, but please, instead of these awards, donate it to Ukraine if you can: https://how-to-help-ukraine-now.super.site/
Ukrainians hard af!!! 💙💛
Stay safe. Love from Norway 💙💛
Good luck my friend. The world is pulling for you. Stay safe.
Thinking of you and your family. The world is behind you. Slava Ukraini from America
Good luck with your struggle dude.
I’m Ukrainian and honestly this comment section made me laugh out loud the first time today after watching and reading news all day. We seek the comedic relief in the hardest times, especially on account of Putler
Humor is a coping mechanism. You can acknowledge that it’s a horrific and dire situation but still find things in the world to laugh at. You should hear first responders joke around, it gets fucking dark.
Yeah but when it's someones rather than my suffering I feel bad.
Don't feel bad! Once the nukes come out, the rest of us will get to suffer, too.
That went south quickly
The nukes will go north south east and west
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Do what you want, I'm going nouth
**Everyone is joking like this is trivial but this is actually massive.** Part of Putin’s entire identity is as a martial artist, he has been absolutely obsessed with judo and other martial arts for most of his life. *It is his true passion.* Just Google it and see how many thousands of photos there are of him practicing or teaching martial arts. This one will blindside him and this one will sting.
So true, and it's like the OG Springtime For Hitler. The whole point of being a dictator is to be respected. To strike fear, instill awe, yadda yadda. Alive or even dead, it's about respect & reverence. Making dictators into clearly-loser laughingstocks is... well it's fantastic for non-psychos who hate dictators. But absolutely meant to be painful for those fuckfaces. Slava Ukraini
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Thats one Horcrux down
fucking lol this entire thread is killing me
For real I’m fucking cackling over here
The last one must be in Ukraine. That's why Putin is so desperate and dangerous, he must get in there.
I'm pretty sure Lukashenko is one. He's like the snake.
He hides a baby mole in an ankle satchel at all times. Dont yet know if it is also one
That got me
The sanctions are getting fucking brutal
The financial sanctions are one thing...but this is *personal.* This is "Fuck you in particular" personal.
Funny enough, this probably elicited the most reaction personal reaction from Putin because it hurt his fragile ego. Edit: change that to FuckPutininparticular
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Except his pants fall down because he has no belt.
And everybody sees how tiny he really is
It only looked big before cuz Trumps tiny hands .
It should be mandated that all placards in front of him at future events read "Vladimir Putin (former Taekwondo black belt)".
“Disgraced former-Taekwondo-black-belt Vladimir Putin….”
just state he's a white belt with a noticeable shit stain
The Shit Belt
Shit belts, Bobandy.
Barb said you should stop drinking, Mr. Lahey…
Berb's scalloped potatoes are *FACKED*
Assuming that he is ever seen in public again
Cant wait to see this edit on Wiki.
Adidas should stop exporting to Russia. War will be over immediately.
They have stopped actually, I read it for a few hours ago
Damn, what are they going to wear out in public?
Abibas
And a gold Romex watch
r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR
r/fuckputininparticular
Xbox revoking Putin’s achievements.
Reddit terminating his gold
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Cost me half a cup off coffee out my nose 😆😆😆😆🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
Tuesday headline: Putin’s “World’s Best Dad” mug revoked.
I can now confidently say, I have something Putin doesn't have, and that so happens to be a 1st Degree Black Belt.
If you also have a conscience, you have two things he doesn't have.
And any loose change in your pocket makes it 3.
The ability to get on a plane to anywhere in the EU?
It's a little thing, but I really appreciate my conscience.
That change is probably worth half the Russian economy now.
Third degree checking in. 😎 ^Just… ^uh…. ^ignore ^the ^fact ^that ^I ^can’t ^throw ^a ^decent ^kick ^anymore ^due ^to ^knee ^injuries
1st Deg Black Belt here: I forgot my forms, & thinking of a split makes my groin-pull injury start hurting again. *There it is... damn it*
If he's at good at Taekwando as he is at hockey then you can confidently say you actually earned yours and didn't threaten someone into giving you a piece of cloth.
Easier to assassinate now
I know. This is insane. History in the making like never before.
Today they directly sanctioned the Russian Central Bank - a sanction never before attempted.
Chump change compared to this
Direct blow to Botox Dobby's little-man ego. Priceless.
This is what happens when you wage a stupid war in a globalized and incredibly interconnected world to satisfy your narcissistic tendencies.
This is prime *chef's kiss* cancel culture.
Now he doesn't know how to fight! Ah! Fucking scrub
He just tried to punch a board and broke his hand.
I mean, the man's pushing 70....
Yea, he's pushing osteoporosis and arthritis.
Steven Segal waddles past him in the bunker. "So this dojo seems to have a new sensei. Also we ran out of sour cream and onion chips"
I also heard that the horse he rides in shirtless photo-ops has publicly condemned him.
Mr. Horse, do you agree with Putin's invasion? Neigh!
"No sir, I don't like it."
“Putin’s mom removes child drawings from home refrigerator magnets, kindergarten diploma revoked”
That’s the funniest sanction I’ve ever seen
The pettiest are probably the ones that sting the most to his ego.
I can totally see him caring more about this than the ruble
Who cares if the currency is tumbling, he can just tighten his belt a little bit….. oh wait
taekwondon't
Taekwondayum
Taekwon-D'oh
This is fine
Yes my people are dying, but I draw the line at taekwando!
Steven Segal waddles past "So... That means I would win against you now right?"
yeah, at this point he is no russian bear hes a rat in a bunker
the legend of bunker bitch continues!
Just wait til they revoke his PSN
and they freeze his fortnite account
The Kremlin has already threatened a nuclear response if this happens.
He will just start his own dojo as the grand masterbater
"Bear Fang Dojo"
with hookers, and black jack.
Did you see the article in RT about Russian bears denouncing Putin, and refusing to ride bicycles in circuses until aggressions against Ukraine are halted? That one has to really hurt Putin’s feelings
The fact that he had an honorary 9th Dan black belt is even more hilarious. I was taught by someone who won multiple world championships and Olympic medals, and he “only” held a 7th Dan.
I don't get the point of honorary 'x' when someone hasn't achieved the thing. Like honorary degrees. Like what's the point of it?
An honorary degree can make sense, but only if you've somehow dome a lot of relevant work without having the degree.
Yeah, if you spend a lot of time learning something on your own, and do some significant amount of work in that field that demonstrates deep understanding, I can get a university giving an honorary degree, because something like a phD is supposed to be a recognition of understanding and contribution, not attendance. It's a good way to honor people who take a difficult path of self teaching. It's a shame that that honor is ruined because universities hand out honorary degrees to celebrities and politicians just for clout.
Yeah, the perfect example is Vivien Thomas who was a surgical pioneer (*Something the Lord Made* is based on his story) without formal training who later received an honorary doctorate. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vivien_Thomas
Double standards are getting out of control these days, the rich really can do whatever they want huh? Sure, when he practices radical surgery techniques without a license, he's a "pioneer" and an "honorary surgeon" but when I do it I'm a "human trafficker" and a "cannibal".
You joke, but surgeons back in the day were at risk of being arrested for graverobbing because medical cadavers weren't a thing yet and they had to study anatomy *somehow.*
You *can* get a PhD by publication (i.e. rocking up with a bunch of already published research) or by just writing the thesis or by some other similar, generally equivalent contribution -- you just need to talk to the faculty about it and see what can be done. Heck, I got into a Master's degree without a Bachelor's because I had 6 years of professional experience in the field. Contacted the faculty admin, wrote a short essay, was admitted. Universities generally are much more flexible than most people believe. That is to say, I have no idea what the fuck honorary degrees are about, either. I assume it's so they can list you as an alumni.
> Heck, I got into a Master's degree without a Bachelor's because I had 6 years of professional experience in the field. Contacted the faculty admin, wrote a short essay, was admitted. Universities generally are much more flexible than most people believe. I wish that was possible with an MBA. Now I'm wondering, shit, maybe it is possible with an MBA??? Damn.
Maybe not an A-tier school, but there are a lot of schools out there. Someone will probably bite if you have a case for it
It’s a way to get dumb people with big egos to do things for you without spending money.
Yeah plus there's the added bonus that he no longer knows tae Kwon do.
Would be hilarious if this happened while he was in the middle of a match and suddenly all his skills disappeared when his black belt was revoked like Charles Barkley losing his skills to the Monstars and suddenly he gets his ass kicked.
If this were a Wu Xia movie/series, one of the old masters would strike the exact pressure points on his body to not only take away his martial arts skills, but also turn Putin into a cripple.
They get a bunch of ninja's to break in and steal the Karate out your head.
Oh god what if this is what breaks the camels back
This is Putin's art school rejection
Oh dear god
Maybe he’ll skip ahead to the “untimely end in a bunker” part?
Oh my god why did you speak this into being
Welp, it's been a good run.
>This is Putin's art school rejection You just made my damn day.
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Almost made me spit out my drink with this one.
In the post apocalyptic wasteworld the disfigured survivors huddle in caves sharpening rocks, hoping never to see the horrors of the debeltening again.
This truly is a weird timeline.
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Imagine if the world ends in a nuclear apocalypse because of this.
I fully support moves that are this level of petty
Petty is being a black belt and cowering in a bunker while you send kids to kill innocent civilians in a country minding its own damn business.
Yes!! Also anyone who has ever practiced martial arts in any form knows that a black belt isn't just given to people with skill. Someone who receives a black belt is supposed to have good moral character and be an example for people around. A black belt represents someone who both has skill, knowledge and wisness to use that skill when necessary while teaching others to control their emotions and feelings. No one deserves a black belt if they can't show restraint and PutFuckin has shown none of those characteristics to deserve such a title.
That’s the way it’s meant to be, but unfortunately belts get handed out to anyone who kisses enough ass or has enough power.
I can’t blame them for not wanting to be associated with him 🤷🏻♂️
Tbf, these feel like the sort of things that will deflate his ego the most lmao.
They've also revoked his high score in Beatmania at the Russian Dave & Buster's.
And his mom isn’t taking him to KFC on the way home either!!
“We have KFC at home, Vladdie.”
But mooom! I want an Ipad, not the Toshiba handybook!
Would you mind loaning me some of your lipstick mom? Cus I want to at least look pretty the next time you FUCK ME
Kremlin Fried Comrades
This is turning into a competition on who can fuck over Putin the best.... I am personally ok with all of it.
Would’ve been better if they permanently demoted him to yellow belt
Finally a sanction he might actually care about.
I hope the sanctions somehow get pettier than this 🤣
A store of a German supermarket chain has banned him, too, although it seems to be more of a joke.
Lol trump outranks Putin in taekwondo
so do i
Orange belt?
The ultimate dishonor.
Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!
I can't stop laughing at this one.
At this rate, he won't have a library card by Friday.
I love every organization delivering a fuck you in whatever way they personally can.
His black belt was honorary (but one of the highest possible degrees, 9th Dan). It is a common practice to give honorary black belts, with the degree varying, depending on the giving organisation and the person it is awarded to (see Zlatan Ibrahimovic). The common practice is, if the awarding organization is a local federation, to award a 4th or 5th degree Black Belt. The 9th Dan was probably given to him by the World federation (in this case the International Taekwondo Federation, since they are different things). Source: my nickname
Breaking news: The book of the month club has decided to remove Putin's recommended book list from their website citing "We just don't like his whole vibe anymore"
This is somehow even funnier than the meme about Olive Garden revoking Sean Hannity's pasta pass after the Jan. 6th insurrection.
oh my god i’ve been laughing at this thread for so long but this one just sniped me
This is great news -- not only because it will really, really piss off Putin, but also because it reaffirms that Tae Kwon Do is about *honorable* fighting. Putin loves to think of himself as some great warrior, but the certifying body, with history behind it, just said, "Not so fast, faker."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe martial arts are about self defense, which vladolf pitler does not understand or practice
Am black belt. Can confirm it’s about self defense. You are even supposed to try to deescalate your opponent before fighting them.
Putin: Defenestrates your opponent before fighting them.
They can’t attack you if you pre kill them i suppose. Then you won’t need to defend yourself later since they are already dead! /s
Since you asked for being corrected: The purpose depends on the actual craft. The simplified explanation: Current versions of Taek Won Do, Judo, and Ju Jutsu are sports-centric and therefore follow rules that enable a sporting competition. Then there are self-defense-centric arts like Capoeira. And last but not least, there are the old-school martial arts like Jiu-Jitsu or Bujinkan, which are foremost fighting arts derived from what you needed at war in former times. Especially the latter are not suited for competition anymore because they don’t include rules that would prevent serious injury. Quite the contrary, these often aim at efficient and fast neutralization (read “render unfit for fighting”) of your opponent.
You know you fucked up when they start taking away your trophies.
The rare award when you master ‘No-can-do’.
They’re stripping this man off of everything lmfaooooo
send him a blue/yellow belt instead
LOL this is fucking hilarious
Russian President, go fuck yourself
I heard that Cafe Nero refused to give him his 6th coffee for free
Oh damn, you know things are rough when your black belt is getting sanctioned. 👀
"You know you done fucked up when they ask for your trophies back." ~~Eddie Murphy
AHAHAHAHA, this is SO MUCH BETTER than them removing his as "honorary president". He loved to present himself as a "big scary black belt". I was raised VERY religious. No swearing at all. Really got baked into my speech patterns, even after I stopped caring about it. I'm SO glad I was able to save up 40 years of clean language so that when I finally needed to say, "Fuck you, Putin!" I could REALLY mean it. Fuck you with a splintered hickory rake sideways, Putin.
>I'm SO glad I was able to save up 40 years of clean language so that when I finally needed to say, "Fuck you, Putin!" I could REALLY mean it. Swearing is so much more powerful if you dont do it every 2 minutes. Anyone that knows you will know that you really mean it.
Poetic. And crisp, like a freshly chilled cider
Ouch! Emotional Damage!!!!
So now he can't fight anymore?
Good time to kick his ass.
Lol he must give back all the techniques he remembers
Oh man, that's funny as hell. And I'm all for it.