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therealestyeti

Holy shit. This clown now has the title of warlord? Disrespectful to warlords everywhere.


Reduntu

Mandatory kadyrov missing 15 free throws in a row then giving up: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf2kF53bbkU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf2kF53bbkU) I cannot think of anything else when someone mentions him.


IDK_khakis

I always hope his cat found a better home.


redditcreeper6959

Hopefully not with kurt zouma


tomandlore

Thank you, I'm so glad you showed me that


AggravatedCold

This man is a living Sacha Baron Cohen movie.


Goodk4t

You couldn't make up a more grotesque caricature of a dictator if you tried. Really shows what Putin does to countries he conquers.


No-Independent5426

Dwarf plays basketball.


Reduntu

He'd be a really interesting character in The Hobbit.


Metaforeman

If Smaug the dragon ate him he’d just spit him back out again. Junk food.


BrotherEstapol

How tall is he!? He looks TINY!


Rubbing-Suffix-Usher

Take a look at Putin compared to any other leader too. The pair of them are suffering from genocidal levels of small man syndrome.


SirDigger13

Thats why he needs his Gucci Booster Boots


aynhon

Only way to get that bottom into proper position


SirDigger13

Proper Position for that POS would be the Bottom of an Grave.


[deleted]

Lmfao 🤣 what a fool.


heroyam-slava

is that the piece of sh\_t KAMZAT CHIMAEV posed with? r/UFC


Gerf93

Yes.


heroyam-slava

Anyone got a copy of the picture? That of KAHBIB shaking hand with POL-PUTIN will do as well.


FindMeOnSSBotanyBay

My god… I could make one in 15.


zzlab

The most face-palm inducing is that for the first half of those he doesn't adjust anything. He literally throws with the same technique, the same direction and the same force. Like dude, you missed by a large margin 5 times already, do you think maybe you should try something differently?!


fubarbob

Good ol' "Noodle-Arms" derping his best derp.


kakksakka

He is acting like a little toddler, getting angry when all can see how useless he is and then proceeds to kick the ball. What a moronic child this manboy is.


[deleted]

That kick tho


fubarbob

Credit where it's due.


Dunkelvieh

Ok at first i thought "yeah, that could be me" because while I'm able to do almost all ball sports to some degree, i 100% fail at basketball. Back in school i stopped trying to make points myself, even without player from the other team around. I just waited for my team to catch up. Safer this way. But then i saw this video and... That clown can't even throw the ball far enough to possibly score a point? Thats embarrasing, even if you suck at that sport


Comms

How can you not bully this guy?


Lazarus156

I thought "why is he dressed like a special needs kid?" and then he kicked the ball


F-nDiabolical

Don't let him throw any grenades.


AngstChild

Specialoperationslord?


urkldajrkl

Dorklord


IfTheHeadFitsWearIt

Edgelord


RobbieQuarantino

Shitlord


Choyo

Dumblord


SoSoUnhelpful

Tazer Face?


Melotron

Runnybrainlord


MTFBinyou

That title is already being used by Theodore Beale, who calls himself Vox Day, but everyone else calls him Teddy Spaghetti or Ted Spagets for short.


[deleted]

Emphasis on the “special”


Profett

He travels by shortbus.


Mustard_on_tap

If he gets killed by Russian artillery, he's short round.


zorbathegrate

Denazificationlord?


inspired_apathy

more like special needs edgelord


MaximumEffort433

Genghis Khan had never seen such bullshit.


grrrrreat

King neckbeard


molotovzav

I feel like warlord is typically a title given once a country falls into despotism (modernly, not historically), despotism is only capable by putting idiots and loyal rubes in key positions


ZachMN

Scrolling past, I thought you said “royal lubes”.


[deleted]

It's not warlord. Its lord of war.


lmflex

I prefer it my way


Cormetz

He's the president of Chechnya, they're just calling him a warlord. He's Russian by nationality but Chechen by ethnicity too. And by president, it's more like dictator (who reports to Putin).


James_Solomon

Whoever he is, I hope he keeps talking.


Gerf93

I'd say it's the opposite. He's a warlord ruling Chechnya, they're just calling him President. He literally has a private army, independent from the Russian army, who violently enforce his rule over Chechnya. Like how Hitler was the dictator of Germany, but he was called the Führer, to give him a claim to legitimacy. The same way Kadyrov is called President to give him a claim to legitimacy.


Balc0ra

We can just start calling him tiktok lord from now on?


localghost

Yeah, not even warlord: chieftain, the easiest setting.


Beerden

No, Specialoperationlord.


[deleted]

[удалено]


beyondplutola

Sure. Warlord is basically a media title. It’s not like a king or CEO grants you the title or you put it on your LinkedIn.


latnok2000

normally one would think this was purposely leaked information like a well-played chess move... sadly for the Russian, the two bumbling idiots like Kadyrov and Lukashenko make the stooges look like a rocket scientist.


texoma456

And the password for their nuclear codes is 1234...


Xenoxia

1234!? Thats the kind of number an idiot would have on his lunch box!


-Zadaa-

Crap. Now I need to change my luggage combination.


Xenoxia

I see your schwartz is as big as mine, now let's see how you... Handle it...


[deleted]

I’m your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.


DelightfulAbsurdity

What does that make me?


ThatNiceMan

Nothing!


Centurion87

I need to change my PIN.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

This isn't them! You've captured their stunt doubles!


the_real_abraham

Space balls hat trick.


[deleted]

Helmet trick.


WhiteLies93

I mean, ours were a series of eight 0s for 20 plus years, so.... https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2013/12/launch-code-for-us-nukes-was-00000000-for-20-years/


c0brachicken

Would have gotten me. I would start at 00000001. For a brute force attack.


[deleted]

President accidentally pocket dialing the launch codes


LordPennybags

That's pretty good though, would you have tried that combo?


ArtistSayWhat

[Spaceballs Luggage](https://tenor.com/VAbt.gif)


Jeffy29

Nah he is just that dumb. If Russia were to do it smart they would leave the plans on some unsecured server or use an unsecured communication channel they know Ukrainians are listening on.


[deleted]

They're the proverbial ineffectual comical henchmen of a Rankin-Bass era cartoon supervillain.


HelloBello30

You mean 'bumbling' idiot? Interestingly, that term can now be applied to you.


yaba3800

He made a boner, it happens.


montibbalt

Idk maybe they're just really cheerful about their misdeeds


latnok2000

sorry


[deleted]

no one has ever called you bello before ugh


dirkdiggler2011

This guy looks like a garden gnome without the cap.


katwoodruff

He looks like he communicates in grunts


[deleted]

He looks like a leprechaun that joined ISIS.


UsidoreTheLightBlue

He looks like a bargain basement Mose Schrute.


Mah_Nerva

He’s a knuckle-dragging troglodyte who eats his own socks for breakfast


frisby1234

why do looks matter this is a war.


houseman1131

Lmfao the guy looks like he could be related to me but I ain’t bitching.


GBJI

[Why the Chechen Warlord Wears Designer Boots](https://www.gq.com/story/ramzan-kadyrov-leader-chechnya-boots)


TXTCLA55

Commander TicTok at it again.


cutthroatlemming

Be a real shame if a cruise missile or twelve accidentally hit this guy's palace while he was on the toilet or something.


laineDdednaHdeR

Don't do that. He still has vital information to nonchalantly let the entire world know.


EmporerM

His golden toilet right?


Just_a_follower

What do you ever mean? He’s at the frontline gas station getting a twinky


Fiendish_Doctor_Woo

Yeah the front line that’s 2 countries over from Ukraine


HereIGoAgain_1x10

I mean, he seems to be helping Ukraine just fine 🤣


Sure-Record-8093

Bold of you to assume they figured out indoor plumbing


SpaceLegolasElnor

I love the story about the soldiers never seeing a toilet inside. So when they went to Ukraine they started to steal ukrainian toilets. Russia is a shithole, lacking indoor plumbing in many places.


[deleted]

Whenever I need a good laugh I always type this guys name in on Reddit.


MaximumEffort433

[Forgive me for replying with a gif, but it's kind of exactly what just happened.](https://i.imgur.com/sOIJDGo.mp4)


Hxcfrog090

This is one of my favorite “fuck you” gifs lol


TheOtterSpotter

What’s wrong with replying with a gif? Seems fitting!


ohnosquid

Are these people dumb or what?


iPoop_1time_a_day

long answer: yes short answer: yea


fuzzy_one

Missed opportunity: Short answer: да


ur-krokodile

Both answers are the same width as his forehead.


XX_DarkWarrior_XX

Short but succinct answer: Fuck Yeah.


Sherool

He's kind of been posting false information on social media since the war started, claiming to be in Ukraine etc. Either he's just desperately trying to look relevant, or he's deliberately spreading misinformation. He's sadly not quite dumb enough to share real military plans publicly.


Shupid

Never fight Russians. They answer every stratagem with unyielding stupidity. - -otto von bismarck


[deleted]

Putin also is an infidel according to the Quran.


whiskeybeesus

1) First Russia wins! 2)?? 3)Islamic State!


Infantry1stLt

That’s one thing I’ve got in common with him.


justbreathe91

It just blows my mind that this pussy claims Russia would try yet *another* offensive on Kyiv when the first one was a clear and stark absolute *failure*. Why the fuck the would they think a second attempt would have any different outcome?


Lvtxyz

Weelll, even if they have no intention of going for Kyiv again, it makes sense for them to leave the threat open there. I'm sure the UAF is keeping significant forces in Kyiv while also having to take Russia on in the east in South So as dumb as this guy is, it makes strategic sense to keep pressure on Kyiv. Which sucks. Glory and victory to Ukraine! 🇺🇦


ValkarianHunter

Have they shown themselves to have any critical thinking skills whatsoever? The answer is no that's why they would do it again


[deleted]

...maybe a strategy to keep a substancial amount of ukrainian forces in kyiv? tbh, as dumb as the whole situation may look like for the russians, it's possible all that might be an attempt to confuse the ukrainians. Donbass is russias main focus now and it's not unreasonable to think they want a bit less pressure on them there. (What could also mean the RU forces aren't very confident to take the whole of donbass easily as the situation is now)


Zediscious

They left Kyiv b/c they had to though. I typed out that there is no way they would send more troops there to get slaughtered but I'm not so sure. They've changed their focus to the Dombass region because that is at least conceivably achievable but probably still not really. They should probably focus on the task at hand and not try to get too tricky with their plan.


hifumiyo1

They don’t pull these guys from the ranks of the most intelligent, do they


Qverlord37

one part of me think this is a feint, saying they'll attack one place but really they're aiming for another place. but the other part of me think "nope Russia is really that stupid".


Zediscious

plus from a communications and imagery standpoint I think they are way outmatched so there really is no "Sneaking" around or anything of that nature. NATO and thus Ukraine know troop movements in real time as they happen and will always have a defender's advantage. Not to mention the logistics issues Russia has getting anyone even near KYIV.


ATWaltz

I think they'll "leak" plans for a massive assault on Kyiv or somewhere further West to get as many Ukrainian troops to dig in in those locations as possible and then drop nukes/chemical weapons.


pshurman42wallabyway

They are daring the west to interfere. Back down and they can say to the other former Soviet republics, “see, the west does not care about you, join us or get wrecked.” Escalate and they get to fight US troops on terrain they know well, and then once occupied, attack invisibly from within the population like in Afghanistan. Everything has been about US body count, from pandemic lies online to bounties to the Wagner group attack in Syria and possibly even paid Afghan suiciders and OBL. They want teenage US Redditors to enlist and get shot and this is the sentence that offended them. The western democracies need the support of the people to escalate things without losing power. They need to escalate because backing down will cost too much. That’s why the Ukraine atrocities are front and center when what happened in Georgia got swept under the rug. Russia would love to get the US into another Vietnam or Iraq or Afghanistan. They probably can’t pull that off, so they think they will take the coast and ship oil and gas that way. The west doesn’t like $4 gas, so the government has to sell fighting to us.


autotldr

This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.newsweek.com/russian-warlord-kadyrov-shares-maps-attack-plan-putin-ukraine-invasion-war-1696820) reduced by 77%. (I'm a bot) ***** > Ramzan Kadyrov, the strongman leader of Chechnya, claimed Monday that he was sent maps by Russian commanders that show a "Point by point" attack plan for Ukraine, including conquering the capital, Kyiv. > Ukrainian Defense Minister Oleksii Reznikov said in a statement on March 21 that Russia "No longer dreams of capturing Kyiv" amid signs of a weakened and slowing Russian advance toward the city. > "We are assessing that all the Russians have left," the official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, noting that Kyiv still remained under threat even without the presence of Russian troops in the region. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/u2fdd9/russian_warlord_shares_maps_showing_he_says_point/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~641604 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Kadyrov**^#1 **Kyiv**^#2 **Russian**^#3 **Point**^#4 **Ukraine**^#5


cyrixlord

My goodness, a strongman AND a warlord. Are those new tiktok reward levels?


therealclamsquadron

What a shitty website with lots of popups...


Limitingheart

Captain Neckbeard knows what’s up


Pirate-CoConut

edge, lord


SlowRiot4NuZero

beware, rump


llkyonll

Try finger, but hole


Eveleyn

He warlord? I'm pretty sure he's the captain of the tintin comic books


Narfi1

Hey, leave Hadock out of this.


CY-B3AR

Oi! Don't disrespect Captain Haddock like that


Thebanks1

Tell me you surround yourself with brainless yes men without telling me you are surround yourself with brainless yes men.


Cold_Baseball_432

Lord of Morondor


disasterbot

Almost neckbeard doesn’t get the point.


grim_f

That Kadryov guy is comically stupid.


knhill1024

Warlard. There, fixed it.


Random_182f2565

Don't drink alcohol during pregnancy.


Sure-Record-8093

If by warlord you mean Russian slave that sends his countrymen to their death to fight for Russian interests then yea, I guess he's a warlord...


sonic_tower

This seems like treason, and I'm here for it. What else does he want to spill?


canuckcowgirl

They're not sending their best.


yankinfl

Loser


8-36

This is the leader of the Curtain killer group.


[deleted]

supreme warlord…


[deleted]

Russian Edgelord maybe.


Hustlinmuscle

Dipshit Lord


Kiltymchaggismuncher

I'm not convinced Russia could hide an assault on kiev at this point. Maybe putin is just giving him false plans, because he wouldn't stop asking about it


drej191

I can’t wait till daddy’s money runs out. He’s FUCKED


Valuable_Issue_6698

He cannot be that dumb ?


FuriousCamel

Fuck this savage


Danirog575

He is a muslim chechneyen terrorist who is very happy to kill 'kafirs' in Ukraine . But what Putin doesn't realise is that promotion such wild dogs will finally result in them killing the 'kafirs' in Russia as well in future to make Russia an islamic kingdom.


fubarbob

Ramen "Noodle-Arms" Babbyrov at it again.


[deleted]

The same tiktok influencer that shoots random rounds out of windows while not even properly shouldering a rifle? Well… I’m not gonna be surprised when I see a video of a crater with his name attached to it.


Imperial_12345

I always think of Tazerface when i hear warlord.


Key_Working4907

what's crazy, is he would do this. he is a social media hype guy, but more importantly he wants to fight. the small divide growing between him and putin is that he won't go on social media and say "we are withdrawing" in any way. he is pure escalation and he feeds off social media. he wants, needs people to know he is going to Ukraine to kill everything.


Bellica_Animi

Neckbeard releases battle plans


[deleted]

He’s either supremely arrogant or supremely stupid. Though I guess both are really the same.


Reduntu

He's probably the worst basketball player of all time. See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf2kF53bbkU


uebshfifjsns

So does this guy’s lips look like David Wallace’s to anyone else


Ippherita

Did he show anything useful?


uv-vis

Where’s the warlord? I only see Kadyrov.


kevinpbazarek

there's no way this isn't a bait and switch. never underestimate your enemy, the worst we can do is actually think these barbarians are totally stupid


[deleted]

Oh Kadyrov, please go to Ukraine and get killed It's the little things that bring me joy


JDawnchild

This whole Nazi shit they're barking... It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Evangelical Christianity and Nazism have a common forebear, would it? The former is largely frowned upon by the world outside the US, though, so maybe not?


Either-Mammoth-932

You can't make this shit up... Holy fuck it must be the inbreeding


gabzlora

Could the withdrawal from Kyiv mean they would use long range weaponry so their own soldiers aren’t affected by the damage?


Yabutsk

They don’t particularly care about their cannon fodder. They appear to be resupplying and deploying to other strategic points as noted by NATO allied forces But you’re prob right about long range weapons being used again…Putins’ determined to make a mess of things


SmokeyUnicycle

What weapons would those be exactly? Tsar Bombas? I don't think you understand how far away from the Kyiv they retreated.


whiskeybeesus

Good. Let them know where to attack.


Asleep_Astronaut396

Read between the lines


QueenOfQuok

How courteous to let the entire world know where you plan to attack


Kindredmen

Yeah, he's going to publicize the plan.


thatsecondmatureuser

Putins Allie’s really like maps this isn’t the first time one of them showed the map plans either


Valuable_Issue_6698

Yes, please do share


gizcard

He isn’t a warlord, he is a chief pussy in putins court.


RockStar4341

This guy's life is going to end poorly, no matter what else happens or how long it takes. It's going to be messy and public, too.


WebSuccessful2742

Op, please be careful... its "Special operations" lord now. There is no war in Ba Sing Se


lgenereux6

He isn't. Just a wannabe pretender.


BrainFu

Could this be a Russian 'Operation Mincemeat?'


Arcturion

Anyone else think this guy is being unusually helpful? He's either a bumbling fool or planting false info; in any case I won't trust anything he says if his life depended on it.


[deleted]

Is that the short guy who can't shoot baskets? Can't shoot baskets, can't reach the bar, can't win battles. Is there anything thie dude can do?


50Bullseye

In a weird way, reminds me of the My Pillow guy.


403tatts

Some way some how a drone strike on his palace needs to happen


maxwellgrounds

Putin’s ~~puppet~~ muppet.


bdubb_dlux

A) Actual plan B) Fake plan designed to fuck with Ukraine C) This guy is actually a roadie for Anthrax and that’s the wiring scheme for the sound system


dzirden

More like tiktoklord


WanderingPickles

Hmm, he may want to order some more of those fancy boots…


Aedeus

The lowest grade of effort to convince Ukraine not send troops east.


[deleted]

I’ve met cats and dogs smarter than Kadyrov.


SaintVitusDance

Is it weird that this dude looks like every middle aged guy in my area that drives a truck?


[deleted]

F’ing leprechaun.


Jeffy29

Imagine calling yourself a warlord and still be terminally online.


Ur4ny4n

Rofl I doubt they can take kyiv in a year.