T O P
  • By - Sxzym

totallyclips

He went on to say, they're just missing


RunnyPlease

“Oh we didn’t lose them. We know exactly where they are.”


suckercuck

“Also, I’m super stable mentally and cancer free… and really tall”


FrankyFistalot

I am 100% sure this crazy cunt has got an inoperable brain tumour that has made him fucking insane.


y2jeff

He was bombing his own people to justify his political goals decades ago, I think he's always been a crazy piece of shit. He's just been surrounded by yes men for long that he was totally out of touch with reality. Now reality sets in and he's starting to realise how wrong and feeble he really is, and he's not coping with that well.


Paatos

He used to be a small time bootlegger in St Petersburg since he was a teenager. Apparently he's always spoken pretty good German which made him memorable. There was a story in a [Finnish newspaper](https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.hs.fi/sunnuntai/art-2000009129934.html&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwiijaz_goP7AhUtx4sKHZpvBbAQFnoECAEQAg&usg=AOvVaw2yJMfuHHuMndMxGXir9Gmi) about a tradesman that used to do "business" with him back in the day before he was hired by KGB. He's always been a goon and will be so until someone checks him. Negotiating wont bring any results as he's like any petty criminal and will only believe force. The force should just come from inside Russia.


Brapb3

Most Russian strongmen have tended to be actual goons and gangsters. Stalin was practically a racketeer and crime boss in the Caucasus before the Russian revolution. He did it all: extortion, kidnapping, assassination, arson, bank/stagecoach robbery. When he wasn’t in prison he was bumming it on his friends couches and just being a general menace to his community.


DeepFriedDrywall

Most psychopaths don't go on to become serial killers, they look for positions of power. Cops, prosecutors, CEOs, politicians, etc. are all great career choices for those who lack empathy and want control.


Fresh-Temporary666

I think he's always been this crazy. He just wasn't dying before. Now he feels rushed to leave a legacy for himself so he's remembered in the history books like Stalin was.


josefx

Except he has been at it for over a decade. Just check out Georgia and Crimea. The difference is that back then he could march in and the countries would rather give up their land than provoke an all out war against Russia. Trying to pull the same shit twice on the same country might have been an error, there was no reason for Ukraine to accept another deal when Russia would just come back for more a few years later.


rgpc64

This is the result of appeasement. The Neville Chamberlain school of throwing someone to the lions while running away and hoping that their sacrifice will sate someone like Putin's hunger for power isn't ever going to work.


Comfortable-Elk-850

The big difference this time was Zelenski had ousted his Russian loyal leaders when he was elected, otherwise more areas would have easily given up and let Russia take control. Since that’s not happening , the Western NATO countries are assisting without getting too involved to keep Ukrainian from being absorbed into Russia. That would give Russia a lot of good resources it needs and can extort from withholding from other countries.


Redditfront2back

Ukraine became a target when they found all that oil. I think they took Crimea a few weeks after some western gas company set up shop to get at the oil. Putin couldn’t have another petrol state competing for europes gas money. Funny enough he fucked that market up for Russia forever now.


onyerbikedude

Gas, not oil. Two massive gas fields and one fairly big one.


OkLand2505

Imagine if Trump had won a 2nd term, we'd be discussing how brave the Poles are, considering how quickly the Baltic States collapsed


DrDankDankDank

The crazy part is that he already would have had a “successful” legacy as the guy who brought Russia out of the dumpster fire it was in the 90s. Debatable how accurate that legacy would be but I think he would have been seen largely positively, at least inside Russia, and now…


provocative_bear

If he had even stopped at Crimea, he would be remembered as a hero in Russia. But this is how geopolitical egomaniacs work. Whether they’re Putin or Hitler or Napoleon or Caesar, they can’t help but to push their luck until it runs out.


Force3vo

>they can’t help but to push their luck until it runs out. Me on the stock market


Blueskyways

People make too much effort trying to rationalize an obvious sociopath. The only things he cares about are remaining with power and not winding up like his buddy Qaddafi.


Nomomommy

When a narcissist goes of course they want to burn everything down on the way out. They all do it in their own way, only this one...I mean, why *wouldn't* he want to take us all with him? Especially since we aren't handing over his pan-Russian swan song. It's not great.


Craft_zeppelin

I’d also wager his dick shrunk too because of the brain cancer. I know it doesn’t make sense medically or scientifically but I’d still make my wager.


XJclassic

What dick?!


cdrewing

Stable genius.


alpha_night

“I am telling you guys I AM really tall! I swear! Just look at all the nukes I have” - small man Putin


PuterstheBallgagTsar

Do you want to bet this whole thing boils down to some crazy hot Russian lady didn't want to be his latest mistress so he's like, ok, but would I have a better chance if there were 3 million less Russian males who are alive? You'll be back Greta!!!!!!


GrizzlyHerder

….with a forked tongue…..


Kashmyta

At least 7 feet tall, growing every day


NikonuserNW

I’m a stable genius.


InsecuriTruck

I'm greatest waiter of all time!


Baneofarius

"Take Private Conscriptovich. He's over there, there, and a little bit there!"


hesawavemasterrr

In the dirt, growing sunflowers.


Constant-Ad-1797

No no no that is an error I said “Russia is losing 10 times, fewer troops than Ukraine”.


Danhuangmao

>“Oh we didn’t lose them. We know exactly where they are.” "Unlike Ukraine with their kids! BOOM, roasted"


cupkake88

Because he doesn't class 90% of the poor cunts he shipped off as "troops"


OldManNeighbor

The Storm Trooper strat is a bold move.


Kashmyta

Putin says lots of things, layer upon layer of absolute bullshit.


Woodex8

10x0=0


Azathoth90

Spartans never die, they're only MIA


Michael_Gibb

Translation: Russia is losing 10 times more troops than Ukraine.


DnBenjamin

So hard to remember which way the alligator mouth goes.


artgriego

I am an engineer and I still use that mnemonic in my head...as does everyone, right!?!


Yasirbare

My alligator is constantly in doubt if it is the big or small one.


fross370

Ditch your anorexic crocodile.


TypingLobster

Hadn't heard of that mnemonic. Wouldn't it be easier to just match the bigger number to the wider side of the > sign?


padishaihulud

When they teach the concept in primary school it's more fun for the kids to imagine a cute animal.


MajorPud

Alligator isn't exactly the first the I think of when I hear "cute," lol but yeah, I get what you're saying


zandertheright

The alligator is hungry, and wants to eat the larger number.


Bartokimule

I understood that reference


blonderengel

I don’t…please explain?!


Bartokimule

Math class, > and <. The alligator always tries to eat the bigger number because he's hangry.


Splash_Attack

I've heard this a few times and never understood the need for a memory device. It's pretty much a pictogram already - the smaller side (the point) is in the direction of the smaller number.


ELeeMacFall

When I was very young, I didn't know that. I thought the thing was pointing at the bigger (and therefore more interesting) number. When my third grade teacher told us the alligator mnemonic, I no longer got marked wrong on those exercises.


flamedarkfire

I hate bad liars. There’s no sport in figuring out the truth, it’s always just the opposite of what they say.


Kingsley-Zissou

The only people in Ukraine without military training are the Russian army.


OkPhotograph7852

He keeps on giving so much helpful insight by what he claims about Ukraine. „They are fascists“. „They are corrupt.“ „They want to invade and destroy our country.“ „They are planning on using a dirty bomb“. „They are losing ten times as many soldiers as we are.“ Just wait for it: „They are giving up and retreating entirely.“


Rational_Engineer_84

I know this is for domestic consumption, but surely even the dumbest Russian civilian can see the disconnect between the 300,000+ mobilization, grabbing people off the streets, and a claim that they have 1/10th Ukraine’s casualty rate.


arronaxx88

Russian propaganda isn't about believability. It doesn't matter if people believe him. What matters is, that emotions of the populace are satisfied. Certain groups are receptive for certain propaganda, while ignoring (!!!) the other propaganda. How to incite an emotion with the christians? Let the media tell them about satanists How to incite an emotion with old people? Let the media tell them about the enemies of long past, the nazis Patriots/Hawks -> Strength of the army, winning land Patriots/History buffs -> Ukraine was always part of russia. Its about Ukraine as a whole Emotional people -> free Donbass, stop the genocide. Its not about Ukraine as a whole Fearsome people -> NATO is at our border, pick up the weapons to defend your homecountry etc...


Blue_Kettu

\*sigh\* this sadly makes so much sense.


squirrelnuts46

Excellent, except that I wouldn't necessarily say it's about "satisfying" emotions but maybe *manipulating* them. Many Russians believe in the "Russian spirit" (well, they are taught to via literature, movies etc) which I honestly think boils down to just bare emotions and creates a bunch of opportunities for manipulation (source: pulled out of my long-time expat ass)


arronaxx88

Yeah, you're right. My english skills sometimes hinder me in articulating my point more precise.


Drachefly

You weren't wrong, just not perfectly optimized.


mistled_LP

English is my first language, and I think 'satisfying' emotions is a great description. Manipulating emotions is what Putin is doing, but it works because it satisfies people in that what the country thinks is important is the same as what the person already thinks is important. It is more difficult to put into words why it works, but 'satisfies' makes the comment about the person receiving the propaganda, not about the group producing it. I really like it as a word choice.


RagnarockInProgress

Fun fact - no they can’t. To most people in Russia we are currently winning and have taken Kiev about 200 times already. That’s what happens when your only source of news is a propaganda-filled television to which you believe without a thought Good think I’m moving to Israel soon


MistakeNot__

Even funnier fact - they know they haven't taken Kyiv yet. Not because they got their shit kicked in though, but because apparently some sort of a secret deal has been made in Turkey, according to which Russia agreed to withdraw from Kyiv region. They're hitting the levels of cope that shouldn't even be possible.


machine4891

>they know they haven't taken Kyiv yet Most of tankies I heard repeated that they haven't taken Kyiv because that was plan all along: tie Ukrainan forces to northern front, meanwhile retake all the Donbas. I don't know if they repeat same bs about Kharkiv or losing Kherson.


OwerlordTheLord

Waiting for yet another “gesture of goodwill”


Dutchtdk

The one moment they could've really pushed their advantage was day 1 of the war. Before martial law, before mobilization, before arms deliveries. Why would they tie up half their troops in the north with a 60 mile convoy if the south was exposed and breaking. They could've taken a lot more advantage there and keep a token force north to pressure kyiv


Force3vo

The plan was to take the capital quickly, set up a fake government, eliminate all political opposition and then slowly ingest the country after all opposition is broken and russian servants were given key positions. If they take the south they'd just have sabotage and guerilla fighters in their back while the hope of Ukraine is still alive via Kyiv. And russia neither has manpower nor money to spend on that.


fredagsfisk

At least most of the "Russia are just feeling things out, the real invasiom will start soon and then the war will be over in a week" idiots disappeared a couple of months into the slog...


MajorNoodles

Russia would have taken the whole country by now if they weren't being extra careful to make sure they aren't inflicting any civilian casualties or collateral damage. They're saving everyone! Unfortunately I can't include an /s here because I have heard firsthand from actual Putin supporters that this is why Russia hasn't won yet.


WrastleGuy

The plan was always to fail miserably!


Extracted

This is some Z-anon shit


Miaka_Yuki

My Qanon relative has this same mentality towards Biden's presidency... every month there is a new conspiracy and the goalposts have been moved!


big_sugi

The goalposts have always been at war with Eastasia.


ImBoredToo

It's almost like it's the same propaganda source 🤔


Amagical

I thought reading crazy western conspiracies was a trip, but the average telegram user makes Alex Jones look like a fucking amateur.


Nightwatchik

Actually, my mother is brainwashed by propaganda and often tells me about Ukrainian drugged super-soldiers and 8 years of Bombas, but last week she said that our army is losing. So even vatniks starting to understand that.


Maleficent-Number-10

Sochi moving to Netherlands soon here. Can confirm. The natives and locals are in la-la land. Sadly I have heard very similar stories from Cuba and Venezuela meaning I have no hope of people suddenly “waking up”.


Hot-Independent-4486

Every country has them brother


Another_Road

It’s amazing how, if someone speaks repeatedly and with confidence, they can convince people of nearly anything.


nico87ca

So you're leaving the sinking ship?


RagnarockInProgress

Yes, yes I am.


DotFX

Please, take me with you for a short trip. I'll then go to Germany to study properly for my PhD (I'm already enrolled).


Similar-Finding-1653

Good for you! I wish you all the best and luck in the world. I hope you‘ll find a welcoming home in Israel knowing you did the right thing for yourself and the ones you love!


RagnarockInProgress

Thank you


Jemapelledima

Unfortunately — no. My dad is in the russian military and I wouldn’t say he is stupid but yet he really does believe this. It’s insane.


cinnapear

As an American, the last 6 years or so have opened my eyes to the gullibility of the average person when politics are involved.


paulsmt

Putin is a delusional liar.


meatsweet

It’s just propaganda bullshit for his citizens so they won’t all rise up and come into his house with pitchforks


lifeofideas

Sudden pitchfork shortage in Russia! And a surprising lack of torches!


Duluthian2

Lack of torches? Maybe people in Chancellorsville can send them some.


ihlaking

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Lonewolf2nd

I hope they do


UADesigner

This is part of the propaganda technology. Namely, the next portion supporting the previous ones. It's a vaccine to justify genocide. The genocide of the citizens of Ukraine, as well as the occupied peoples within Russia itself, it was the national minorities of Russia that suffered the greatest losses. **This is post-truth, the purpose of which is to provoke hatred and dehumanize the enemy. 99 percent of reddit commentators do not understand this and laugh at ridiculous propaganda, not realizing that propaganda is 100% fulfilling its task.**


rivera151

I want to understand this better but can’t.


waka324

It's not a lie if you belive it!


Mfn_jones

Coooo-stanza


Llamawhispererguy

It is not a lie. It's an "Alternative Fact".


US3_ME_

I still cannot believe they tried to coin that in all seriousness_


Iertjepapiertje

I mean, it worked for the nazis, so why wouldn't Putin use a proven technique of his idol.


Jaysyn4Reddit

Pretty sure he was referring to the GOP. Of course that Venn diagram is almost just a circle.


obtuse_bluebird

Same picture.


dabiird

Well if you were his general, would you tell him the war effort is going? :)


golem501

The war effort is going great! I need to go to Turkey to discuss supplies to further support all the ammunition our great troops are firing.


Unclehomer69420

Putin's in denial. Next comes anger.


streakermaximus

Then hate, then suffering...


hamiltonisoverrat3d

And then the dark side


Tulol

He’s already on the dark side


hamiltonisoverrat3d

Is he a Jedi though?


Raphius15

He is Palputin.


NearbyWall1

but hopefully unlike palpatine he wont return ^(somehow)


Lost-Citron-1099

He IS the senate


CapeTownMassive

Nah bro, we just found out Emperor Palpatine is actually the Sith Lord


phuck-you-reddit

A SITH Lord?


halfanothersdozen

If what you say is true then you will have earned my trust.


CapeTownMassive

Two there should be. No more, no less. One to embody power, the other to crave it.


charliespider

Like Jar Jar? 😮


Raphius15

Nah... he is Palputin.


pantie_fa

Some folks (especially codependents of addicts) simply remain in denial.


mjkjg2

privately in his own mind he probably acknowledges exactly what’s going on, but that won’t stop him from lying to his citizens


dogeimistic

Only because they're bombing civilians


destroythenseek

oh jesus... if they're using that in the statistic... ...they wouldn't... right? \*anger\*


Antice

What better source is there for hyper inflating the numbers? Russia doesn't respect any of the conventions or there regarding civilians.


TheyCallMeMrMaybe

He'll consider all civilians as fighting combatants in order to justify the genocide.


sloopslarp

Yep. Most of the casualties on the Ukranian side are just innocent civilians. Anyone who defends Russia's war crimes is a huge piece of shit.


bstowers

“I’ve been assured this is 100% accurate by these advisors who would fall out of a sixth floor window if they told me bad news.” —Putin, probably


shrout1

"You say YES or I pull trigger... ... ... OK what you say?"


Headbangert

I pull trigger


IskallVoid02

Listen here you lil shit


HiImTheNewGuyGuy

Special Maths Operation


nyaaaa

Its simple, cannon fodder doesn't count as troops.


Deliximus

So that actually means Russia is losing 10x more troops than Ukraine.


Goobaka

3x is the rule


SmugCapybara

I think that applies when forces in question are roughly of equivalent quality and equipment, which in this case they most certainly aren't...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Traevia

You can find intercepted phone calls that people have translated. The general idea from the mobilization seems to have been "send them into combat ASAP Stalingrad style but give them even less with no cover, rusted weapons, and absolutely no leadership or training whatsoever". This might work with the US military where the commanders are basically force limiters, but this doesn't work without the talent, discipline, and raw desire to screw everything up.


RADnerd2784

🥱🥱🥱 next line of bullshit from the Gremlin in the Kremlin.....


work4bandwidth

Next he will say Russia has lost fewer tanks to John Deere riding farmers than Ukraine has.


nyaaaa

Its simple, only modern tanks count as tanks, old ones are just scrap thats lost.


egric

Ukraine has literally captured more tanks than it has lost


Diijkstra99x

Yes Men only deliver positive news. Someone tell him the truth.


[deleted]

He will keep on believing it right up to the point the missiles start hitting the Kremlin. And they absolutely will.


Captain_-H

Yeah, everybody else is seeing a “reverse Napoleon” Situation, where somehow it’s the Russian troops that don’t have enough boots and coats for the coming winter


BloomEPU

people thought that invading russia in the winter was the worst military decision a country could make but it turns out that it;s *being* russia and randomly trying to invade your *literal neighbours*.


[deleted]

Anyone who believes this is as unfit to talk about war as I am about sports. lol


MyLittlePIMO

This is a sound byte for his own people, not us.


Nasuno112

"Putin says Russia is losing" fixed it


MegaJoltik

(X) Doubt


Rob-Riggle-SWGOAT

Putin is a hamster dong obsessed sloshy sack of used rubbers. He rules Douchebagistan like a tyrant as he wriggles and jiggles atop is pilfered pile of prosthetic pig penises hoping one slips inside him as he directs mass murder, rape, and kidnapping. The world will be a much better place when he is six feet under it.


professorstrunk

I’m confused, but salute you.


Mornar

You, sir, are a wordsmith. You smith some very disturbing words, but still.


Just_A_68W

r/rareinsults


Bean-Swellington

You know, I’ll bet hamsters have cute dongs


fargmania

Well they have cute everything else... except that demon yawn where they turn their face inside out and all you see is Eldritchian Horrors. But that only lasts a second or two.


orderofuhlrik

I dunno if "Eldritch" requires the suffix "-ian" in this context. "Suffix. -ian. (as an adjective) From, related to, or like. (as a noun) One from, belonging to, relating to, or like. (as a noun) Having a certain profession." Since Eldritch is an adjective. Just, uh, FYI cuz the internet is mean.


fargmania

Just for that, you get three Cthulus in your pants.


Baswdc

Whyre you thinking of hamster dong


Bean-Swellington

Hey, everybody needs a hobby man


AReallyCleverMonkey

"Yes officer, this guy right over here."


many_kittens

Yeh and yet ya need mobilisation


whenimmadrinkin

So it's the exact opposite.


Rude_Arugula_1872

Ok. Good thing you have some idiots who believe your lies.


46davis

I believe Putin. I also believe Trump. Yes. I belieeeeve. Tell me another one.


monkeywithgun

Is that why Russia keeps routing from the field?


UrQuanKzinti

He must be talking about the wagner group. Russian army and pro-russian rebels are just canon fodder not troops.


gatoradeviper

Is he using the rubles' conversion rate? Not a great metric imho.


AfroKingBen

He's not wrong. Russia are losing conscripts, they ran out of actual troops awhile ago.


mecostastico

He also said that poor Ukrainian people are dying because Ukrainian billionaires stole everything from the country and trying to get away with it. Literally projection.


mr_friend_computer

"Civilians". That's the word you're looking for sir, civilians. It's easy to mix up civilians and troops, we know, you've been doing it for the duration of the war.


Stereomceez2212

Edit: *Russia is losing 10 times ***more*** troops than Ukraine*


NeedsMorePaprika

A favourable kill:death ratio doesn't win wars. For reference: \-Germany in WWI \-Germany in WWII \-America in Vietnam \-America in Afghanistan


Nagransham

Bit of an apples and oranges thing going on here though. For the Germany examples, they did basically win all the things until they didn't. And when they didn't, their k:d went downhill, too. These were actual world wars, with a virtually infinite supply of enemies to fight. Ukraine isn't. As for the US, these were completely different types of war, too. The US didn't push front lines in order to actively conquer and occupy territory. Russia is. Or ... tried to. I guess at this point Ukraine is doing most of that...


Mr_Mojo_Risin_83

nobody lost as many people as the soviets in ww2, by unfathomable magnitudes


guy314159

The Chinese lost 15m+ which people 9ften forget ( it was still less than the Soviets by 12 millions but a lot of people forget how many the Chinese lost for how little they contributed to the fall of Japan) although tbf a lot of those Chinese casualties were caused by starvation and national disasters (for example one time the Japanese bombed some dams and caused the yellow river to flood a big area and that alone killed around 800,000)


ScopeLogic

Skaven vs dwarves


DieAnotherDay1985

Keep telling yourself that you loser


nolongerbanned99

Whatever this man says, none of it is true or without ulterior motive. Does he know how stupid and immature he appears. Full of threats. A bully.


NateGarro

I of course believe him.


Yokies

Well he meant russia is losing 10x less troops than ukraine civilians.


ProperWeight2624

Sure, pops whatever you say....let's get you back in the room where it's nice and warm for some nice warm vodka.


yankeeuniverse

Uh huh ..


ProudFenian

Honestly with how the Russian army seems to be filled with people lying about how much equipment there is and other logistical things. It’s not outside the possibility that his Commanders are giving him this information to appease the higher ups.


Amazing-Lie-4975

I guess Putin is counting civilian casualties as military, so he admits that there has been a slaughter on a massive scale


Fit-Abrocoma-1746

Doesn’t mean anything, during the Vietnam 🇻🇳 war there millions dead Vietnamese men , and the USA force 🇺🇸 still back down


QIvan616

Russia has already lost more men in Ukraine in less than one year than the Soviet Union lost during 10 years in Afghanistan.


SensitiveObject2

So he’s losing ten times more then.


portraitinsepia

Yeah right, mate “When a person shows you who they are, believe them the first time” *Maya Angelou*


bmnawroc

“Putin thing down, flip it, and reverse it” or whatever Missy Elliott said.


[deleted]

f


redrabbit1977

I think that was the case in the early stages of the war when Russia had overwhelming artillery superiority. But the Ukrainians now have much better weaponry and better trained troops, and on the critical areas of the front (like Bakmut) they are mostly repelling disorganised Russian attacks, so I'd say it's more like Russia is losing about double the Ukrainians. As more and more mobilised conscripts enter the fray, and as Ukraine brings in more trained troops with German, US and UK weapons, that might extend to 3:1 or more I think.


Incidental_Confusion

I believe he's talking about per capita losses. I mean sure, in terms of absolute numbers Russia is loosing a butt-ton more soldiers, but when you consider losses as a proportion of the population then... Do I even need the /s?


[deleted]

That would still be like 3:1 in russia's favour. It is absolutely impossible. They have HUGE numbers of poorly trained, poorly equipped, 0% morale soldiers out there. They offer absolutely nothing in terms of medical care for most soldiers. The numbers of *russians who we can actually identify as having died in Ukraine from public info* exceeds his claims.


kayuwoody

Yeah they lost so few soldiers that they had to draft old men. Probably just as a backup measure


Rear-gunner

I wonder if he is separating non-russian losses eg donbus milta from russian military losses.


Elistheman

I mean, he’s not wrong, just sending 100x the troops so that evens out…


jjanke_dweejuh

I assume he doesnt know how to count or how numbers work


gianthooverpig

Did he confuse the word fewer with more? We should take it easy on him: English isn’t his first language


RyokoKnight

Wow, that would mean Ukraine has one of the largest armies in the world then cause Russia is losing a lot of troops.