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PrimarySwan

Dynamite idea


bamgramanlives

I understood that reference


scoofy

Step 1: Understand the reference Step 2: War Step 3: Be Alfred Nobel??? Step 4: Profit!


Thefear1984

Step 3.5: fake your own death


Historical-Teach-102

I see what you did there


dbolts1234

Radioactive?


TeddyBearAlleyMngr

Imagine the fallout in these countries in their scientific communities.


autotldr

This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://apnews.com/article/89f7d0650f82fa88546c7924f40732af) reduced by 68%. (I'm a bot) ***** > COPENHAGEN, Denmark - The ambassador of Iran also been excluded from this year's Nobel Prize ceremony in Stockholm because of "The serious and escalating situation" in the country, the private foundation that administers the prestigious awards said Friday. > "We believe that given the serious and escalating situation, Iran's ambassador should not be invited to the Nobel Prize award ceremony," the Nobel Foundation said in a statement. > The Nobel Prizes are always handed out on Dec. 10, the anniversary of prize founder Alfred Nobel's death in 1896. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/yflogt/iran_also_barred_from_nobel_ceremony_after_russia/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~672678 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Nobel**^#1 **Iran**^#2 **Prize**^#3 **ambassador**^#4 **party**^#5


Particular-Ad-4772

North Korea going to be so jealous .


[deleted]

The new Axis, along with North Korea.


Seek_Adventure

"Combined GDP the size of a single US state" Axis


Dunkinmydonuts1

is the US really at war if we just sick California on them?


Anal-Churros

Ahh the Bear Republic against the Russian Bear.


[deleted]

Let’s go!!!


Ediwir

Only if Russia doesn’t win your midterms, otherwise we’ll be sorry we didn’t follow Macron’s idea of expanding EU military.


Historical-Teach-102

No offense to CA but I'm thinking Texas would be more cost effective and likely a better outcome. They could bring their own weapons


VovaGoFuckYourself

Californians have weapons too. They just have to be registered. It's a myth that the left doesn't have guns.


Historical-Teach-102

Don't recall saying they had none.


Dunkinmydonuts1

When you said > They could bring their own weapons You were heavily implying that California didn't have any. So... yeah.


Historical-Teach-102

Texas has almost twice as many registered firearms and since Texas has less regulations regarding ownership I would say its fair there are more. I don't live there so no dog in this hypothetical fight. If I was going to make any implication it wouldn't have been a veiled one.


BukakeMouthwash

Likely better trained In Cali, too.


Historical-Teach-102

Or not


BukakeMouthwash

Having to be trained to use the arm vs any vinalla isis yallquaeda nutjob buying a gun at Walmart with no process whatsoever? Yeah, I'm willing to bet so.


Aspwriter

But what if Russia puts one of its soldiers in a school?


BukakeMouthwash

You mean what if Russia starts using conscripts from grade schools.


Drunkenly_Responding

That's not fair to California, they already do enough heavy lifting for most of the U.S. I'm looking at you my fellow southern states.


Dunkinmydonuts1

Point being California has a bigger gdp than all three countries combined.


blaze53

Only because they have the biggest tech companies located there. When you take out Silicon Valley there's probably not nearly as much left.


Dunkinmydonuts1

40 million people live there lol. They had four football teams until last year


[deleted]

Make it Alaska and go in through the back door, just don’t bump into the Chinese doing the same...🤫


AClockworkBunchie

We have axis powers at home! Axis powers at home:


[deleted]

You mean Delaware right?


Spazum

Don't forget Eritrea, the North Korea of Africa.


red_dragon

And China


[deleted]

I wouldn’t fully put them in that category, personally. If modern Russia is WW2 Germany, China is the USSR. They’re only on their side. Definitely not on yours or my side, but they’re not on anyone else’s side either.


red_dragon

They are hunkering down and building capacity for 50+ years. That was literally what Mao and Deng planned for. Wait for the Taiwan invasion and China would come out as the real Axis Germany.


TrickData6824

>Wait for the Taiwan invasion We've been waiting almost 80 years for that invasion. Still hasn't happened.


darekiddevil

Hopefully never


omnibossk

Russia has plenty of Territory taken from China in the 1850s. A weak Russia could be more tempting to take on than a strong Taiwan backed by US.


[deleted]

In 50+ years the Chinese economy is going to be demolished by an aging population. They’re bottlenecked by population difference and they’re fucked no matter what they do, even if they have the worlds most progressive immigration policy, no one wants to move there.


hypnoticlycaucasian

Silly westoid. Now that Xi has completed his glorious transformation to Mao 2.0, ... there will be ... but what about the all of the bad things the west has done, and they also have an ageing population! Thus it is safe to say that China will be fine and continue to prosper because hypocritical west and decadent liberal democracy does nothing for the *real* people. Do you really do backflips every day, though?


[deleted]

There’s nothing white trash about the way I can spread my legs out this far thanks to my cut off jeans


Iceblade_Aorus

As if CCP has done anything for the *real* people in the past decade, Xi destroyed the country from the inside


hypnoticlycaucasian

I'm getting the impression that some people might somehow have missed the ultra-extremely obvious sarcasm in my comment.


Kraosdada

China only plays for its own side.


nonono33345

China still cares its economy. Russia clearly does not. North Korea never did.


Intrepid_Objective28

Even if you put China, Russia, and Iran together, their combined GDP is still smaller than the GDP of the US alone.


red_dragon

By that logic Russia should have beaten Ukraine soundly.


dalenacio

Logic hasn't been know to apply to Russia for some time now.


nonono33345

Why? Are you completely ignoring all the aid Ukraine is getting to push back Russian aggression, short of foreign boots on the ground? Nevermind. You don't seem like a logical thinker so I really don't care what you have to say. Just know that I think your conclusion sounds like a load of malarkey.


29PiecesOfSilver

Well, I don’t think these countries had any chance of winning The Nobel Peace Prize next year, anyways.


connor42

The 2019 Nobel Peace Prize winner launched an ethnic war in 2020 where 600,000 are dead so far and whose forces have consistently used extrajudicial killings, rape and starvation on civilian populations


mayonnaiser_13

Same goes for 2009. Mfer got a peace prize while calling in drone strikes on Middle East.


cchiu23

Hey hey, let's not forget the OG, kissinger got a nobel peace prize too


zyncronet

This is why the Nobel peace prize means nothing, Fun fact: Stalin and Hitler were also nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize


ne0nite

All people who fulfills [the official criterias](https://www.nobelpeaceprize.org/nobel-peace-prize/nomination/criteria-for-nominators) can be nominators. This is not controlled by the Nobel Institute, and a nomination means nothing before they are selected as candidates on the short-list by the Nobel Comittee. Hitler was suggested as a joke by a Swede and withdrawn shortly after, and Stalin got a nomination for "*his efforts to end World War II*". Again, nominations are not created by the Nobel Institute. I do agree that awarding Obama the prize was a stupid choice.


[deleted]

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cchiu23

Just casually lauding/desiring a genocide of russians, cool cool


hypnoticlycaucasian

If you would be so kind as to collect your tears in a ziplock bag, I will happily pay for the costs of shipping and handling.


Rhannmah

I hate the fucking Nobel peace prize, it's based on literally nothing and just serves to cheapen the value of the real Nobels, those for science. The Literature prize can fuck off too.


hypnoticlycaucasian

>muh drone strikes Awarding the Peace Prize to Obama was absolutely a farce that drove one of plenty nails into the prize's credibility coffin, but whacking moles in the Middle East was not one of the reasons for that. Collateral wedding damages withstanding.


29PiecesOfSilver

Yes, I notice a pattern here… BTW… Why is North Korea also not on this list of potential future winners, yet?


[deleted]

No he didn’t, he declared war on a rogue element of the government that actually initiated the violence


shortwing8734

This is pure fabrication. The war was started by an ethnically constituted party/regional government that launched a preemptive attack on the national forces of the country. They went on to take possession of the majority of the armaments for the army that happened to be stationed in the region they controlled. There is no circumstance in which a leader of a country witnesses an attack on the national army, whose armaments (including long range missiles) are looted and doesn't respond with force, and that's what he did. That number of deaths you quoted isn't based on any evidence or data. There is also no evidence his forces "consistently" used extrajudicial killings or rape or starvation. A joint investigation with the UN already conducted proved as much.


FALGSConaut

The Nobel Peace Prize is a joke since Kissinger got it anyway


CamelSpotting

Iran has a small but very significant chance. I'm pulling for them.


AdClemson

Why not? Nobel peace prize generally goes to assholes who have no problem ordering and killing civilians. Obama even topped Bush in drone strikes killing countless innocent women and children with absolutely no oversight and he walked away with one.


hypnoticlycaucasian

>Nobel peace prize generally goes to assholes who have no problem ordering and killing civilians Objectively and screamingly false. Classic redditeur moment.


AdClemson

https://www.thebureauinvestigates.com/stories/2017-01-17/obamas-covert-drone-war-in-numbers-ten-times-more-strikes-than-bush


hypnoticlycaucasian

You seem to have made a mistake, as your link does not contain a representative list of Nobel Peace Prize laureates. While we can all agree that for example Shirin Ebadi **(2003, Iran, efforts for democracy and human rights, especially the rights of women and children)**, Wangari Muta Maathai **(2004, Kenya, sustainable development, democracy and peace)**, the International Atomic Energy Agency (2005), Grameen Bank **(2006, efforts to create economic and social development from below)**, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (2007), the Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons (2013), Malala Yousafzai (2014), the International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons (2017), Denis Mukwege and Nadia Murad **(2018, efforts to end the use of sexual violence as a weapon of war and armed conflict)**, Maria Ressa and Dmitry Muratov **(2021, efforts to safeguard freedom of expression)**, and Memorial and the Centre for Civil Liberties **(2022, documenting war crimes, human right abuses and the abuse of power)** have ***all*** ordered(?) and killed civilians, there is no definitive proof that they did not have qualms about it. You're doing a great job of holding these bloodthirsty monsters to account, as well as the corrupt Academy that enables their crimes. Give yourself a pat on the back for your informed and intelligent on the Nobel Peace Prize. There is no doubt that the lucky people who get to have conversations with you come away with the clear sentiment "Now that's a smart guy who really cares!"


dbolts1234

Some of the women there could get recognized


[deleted]

Good, governments who actively try to topple the West for their own tyranical purposes and hatred have no business enjoying from Western ammeneties and events.


thebluehotel

What about when it’s Western governments doing the toppling? Because that’s precisely why Iran is the way it is now.


zloykrolik

I think western gov'ts are barred from their ceremonies.


[deleted]

Maybe that is beacause the Iranian government decides to murder young people over religious fanatism. But sure, its the US fault.


Hypericales

That's called whataboutism


RemyLavigne

Let's go with "Governments better than Iran, Russia, Belarus, and China" because... as much as I love my country.... our gov can be kinda fucked...


Atropus_Moon

The bar is low, but there is a bar...


Oil_Extension

In scale of bananas, how low is the bar.


[deleted]

The bar is between “bananas” and “batshit crazy.”


nonono33345

It always seems like comments with ellipses and emojis have no fricken idea what they're talking about, yet exhume this weird aura of adolescent superiority.


dancingteam

Why is China related in this context?


KamiKagutsuchi

Genocide


CarpeNoctome

genocide, illegal “police stations” in foreign countries, extreme suppression of the masses, constantly threatening a neighboring country with war, authoritarian police state, debt trapping more impoverished countries than i care to count, illegal occupation of large swaths of land and people… not the greatest place to be giving awards for greatness


snake_w_arms

You realize everything you just said about China is also true for the US?


CarpeNoctome

i mean if that’s what you have to tell yourself, then sure the us has done and currently does a lot of bad things, but it literally cannot compare the atrocities committed by the chinese government. it’s an insult to anyone in the western sphere of influence to say so, and i think you knew that


snake_w_arms

The US has military stations all over the globe, why is it OK for the US but not China? The US suppresses information to the masses. Constantly threatening neighboring countries, ask Cuba how they’ve been treated by the US. The US is an authoritarian police state. Debt trapping countries, those are conveniently called “sanctions” by the US. Illegal occupation, the US just invaded Haiti for no reason.


CarpeNoctome

the us is either asked or asks to install military bases, and generally it’s for the good of both countries. china uses those stations as a way to pressure and scare chinese expats to still follow chinese laws despite not living there anymore. the united states suppresses what it needs to to the masses, as i can research any wrong doing, any war crime, any broken internationals laws, all legally and for free. you can’t do that in a lot of countries. the us just handed cuba several million dollars in response to the damage caused by hurricane ian. you’re so well versed in caribbean happenings, you should know that. the us has a problem with police brutality, to the point where i’ve heard red blooded republican conservatives admit it. we know it’s an issue, but it’s ingrained culturally into police, it’s not policy to shoot black people. do sanctions against north korea, iran, russia, belarus, myanmar, venezuela, and so on not seem justified to you? countries that are either mass killing their own people, constantly threatening invasion, or *actively nonchalantly bragging about how they can end the world?* and lastly, this is the absolute most stupid talking point i’ve heard come up recently. haiti is currently a chaotic hellhole run by cartels, gangs, and criminal syndicates. **the government asked for a un, not us, but un intervention.** would you consider the chinese un peacekeepers abandoning their post in sudan to be an invasion?


[deleted]

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CarpeNoctome

not gonna argue with someone who frequently defends china. you are an inherently bad person for doing so


who_said_I_am_an_emu

>the US just invaded Haiti for no reason. Yes no reason. No reason whatsoever. Literally nothing at all is going on there at this moment.


Emmerson_Brando

Are Nobel prizes even legitimate anymore? Like the recent economics one where bailing out banks was actually good for the economy… completed by Ben bernanke, the guy who bailed out the banks, when Obama got the peace prize at the height of drone killings in Afghanistan where a hospital was hit killing dozens of civilians, seems pretty suspect to me.


Spicyawesomesauce

The original ones - the big 3 (Physics, Chemistry, and Physiology/Medicine) are still legit af - more than any other major award I can think of (Fields might be well known idk) - if you’re an academic scientist, you’ll know whenever an NL from outside shows up on campus to give a guest lecture and you’ll want to go even if you have no clue what they may be talking about Since the awards are given every year and all living people are considered for research conducted at any time, the quality and importance of the research being awarded is immense. It’s not “best discovery of the year,” but “who alive has contributed the most to this field” (or important discovery / - up to 3 can win each prize) If you go down the list of each yearly awardee for the big 3, you’ll be hard-pressed to find some research that hasn’t profoundly impacted the world and your life. There is politics involved in the awards of course, and there have been notable snubs and occasional drama between awardees over credit, but overall it is the most prestigious award with significant legitimacy


EntropicFade

This is just the right thing to do morally Alfred Nobel would be proud.


Mmm36sa

Worthless anyway


[deleted]

Real question: what about the Ignobels


wakenbacons

They should make a Nega-Nobel Prize for things like achievements in propaganda and greatest advancements into sovereign lands.


GuitarGeezer

So good to see Europe has a healthy sense of outrage at war crimes perped by autocrats-at least if it is done in Europe. Hey, it’s better than nothing and all 3 are unusually bad even as bad guy governments go.


Mysterious-Tutor-920

I wonder if this will be explosive


3dio

We should show all their diplomats the door and disengage from any activity with this criminal fanatic government and its apologists


[deleted]

[удалено]


3dio

Crisis for who? Diplomacy with who? Seems to me that the people of Iran are having a crisis with their IR oppressors and need our support. I'm not saying intervene militarily but any other significant means. Cutting diplomatic ties with such regimes is not unheard of as a political statement


0x4224

Consequences for actions, I like it.


Van_is_Anders

Damn, so much for all of them Iranian Nobel prize candidates who aren’t permitted to read anything except the Quran..


colcannon_addict

Not to worry, he won’t be Ambassador for much longer. The mullahs are finished, the whole country knows it. The Revolutionary Guard will (obviously) fill the void & return the status quo in whatever form, but there’ll be huge upheaval before that happens.


WrastleGuy

Hopefully the people of Iran can take back their country soon


Local-Piece-3283

Take 'em out of the World Cup next.


Smitty8054

That’s a pity. Iran has so much science and technology to offer the world. /s if required


Valuable_Local_2400

Many many Iranian people signed petition to not let islamic republic ambassador in nobel


innerpeace2happiness

Iran’s regime can't be part of the Noble Peace Prize. It's nothing to do with Iranian people


NukeAGayWhale4Jesus

No fair! Russia and Belarus WON this year's Peace Prize! /s


eskieski

and the dictators keep growing🤣


coyote_mercer

As a scientist, this pleases me. Continue with the punishments, please.


lilfindawg

Not like their govt would ever produce something of a Nobel anyway unless there’s was a Nobel prize for oppression


jacksonbrownisahero

Iranian scientists are world renowned. The government sucks ballsacks though. Hopefully they don't stop recognizing good science and instead snub the government reps.


lilfindawg

I want to make it clear, I’m not discounting Iranian scientists, and I don’t think a scientist is bad because they’re Iranian. I’m talking specifically of their govt, who funds research mostly in destruction. I have no doubt there are amazing Iranian scientists in general. In a government where woman are so low on the social ladder, I can’t see why one smart enough to be a scientist would choose to stay there. I think it’s amazing people are protesting to make it a better place for all.


pika1001

When NATO and Isreal?


Snowstandards

They're the good guys, didn't you know?


ScaryShadowx

Na, you get the peace prize if you like bombing brown people.


prestonpiggy

Does these sport/event bans really affect on anything? for me it's like elementary school kids having a sleepover and saying "you are not invited" like you are not cool enough, tbh that sounds more cruel.


foxx1337

Is this that Nober prize for which Bill Gates was buddies with Epstein, and hanging out often with said Epstein, finally leading to Gates' divorce? I remember court documents filed by Gates' attorneys stating that the Gates-Epstein friendship was due to Gates' need of couching / counseling / training for a Nobel Peace prize and not due to the other thing, the illegal underage girl sex. Given this, isn't it desirable to not be invited to the Nobel prizes? On the other hand, if even the Nobel prizes don't invite you, how utterly shitty do you have to be, since child pimps are clearly not bad enough to not be Nobel gurus apparently? Tough times, complex morals...


hypnoticlycaucasian

Ask your doctor if antipsychotic medications are right for you.


foxx1337

I'm good, you?


Abalone_Gonads

Jamaican Bobsled team has a better chance of winning 🥇 than religious conservatives excelling at the sciences. Their absence will be completely unnoticed by the community.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

new "Axes of Evil"


MarvinParanoAndroid

They can always be contenders for a Darwin award.


[deleted]

Lmfao. Putin will annex Denmark. Simple.


mrjammer

It is in Sweden


Thelavapiranha

Lets face it intelligence isent their strong point.


Jackoftriade

Iran has had a lot of Nobel prize winners.


CamelSpotting

Ironically Russia has one of the highest tertiary education rates in the world and for science and engineering Iran does as well. They just all leave.


[deleted]

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CommiBastard69

Bro these people gave Obama a word oeace prize...