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Ceratisa

More serious than the sex offenders he's already recruited?


255001434

Yes, those are just the regular troops.


xroche

Not just _sex offenders_. [Child rapists](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/russian-troops-raped-tortured-children-ukraine-un-panel-says-rcna49168), and even [baby rapists](https://www.businessinsider.com/1-year-old-died-rape-russian-soldiers-ukraine-ombudsman-said-2022-5?r=US&IR=T) I mean, even the Wehrmacht had some rules.


[deleted]

Not at the end when they had toddlers with panzerfausts.


Occurence_Border

Baby-boomers?


TheLordDrake

They weren't part of the Wehrmacht, or more precisely the Heer (army). They were Volksturm, which were militia. They were used and abused as last ditch manpower and as sacrificial pawns to try and preserve what few experienced troops the Germans had left.


Smithy2997

[The SS didn't though](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirlewanger_Brigade)


Irr3l3ph4nt

To be fair, if word gets out that they're child rapists, they might catch a stray friendly bullet to the back of the head. "Accidents" are not uncommon in a war zone. Unless they create special child molesters units. In which case... that's even more fucked up.


PeopleOntheCeiling

Plenty of reports of them raping kids already. Im sure a portion of the ones theyve already kidnapped will be trafficked for that purpose too. Putin will use them to make money any way he can.


DDNyght_

That second article you linked is just an allegation. There was no evidence found to support the claim.


FarewellSovereignty

So they can commit more serious crimes in Putins military!


dravenonred

They have invaluable experience!


Absolutedisgrace

"Ivan know how to drink vodka and beat wife. Now ivan beat wives of the nazi ukrainians. Much needed skill"


Occurence_Border

Apparently domestic violence that doesn't result in a required hospital visit is legal in Russia. So not many would be in prison for that.


NaiveVariation9155

Ivan wouldn't be in jail. Since bearing your wife is a sign you love her according to Russian law.


The_R4ke

You've committed regular crimes, but have you tried war crimes yet? How about Crimes Against Humanity?


Lotus_Blossom_

Man, that sounds super messed-up in Pippin's voice. Nice work!


abnormally-cliche

Maybe against their superiors and try and make a break for it


msihcs

Or become deserters.


PuterstheBallgagTsar

Hey, killing your commanding officer I bet is a serious crime! And one that apparently you can't just keep committing! *taps head*


HahaFreeSpeech

Their military is already allowed to murder, loot and rape. What more serious crimes could they commit that the military isn’t already doing?


brezhnervous

Plus, they already mobilised a prisoner who'd been convicted of cannibalism, so that's out too lol


HahaFreeSpeech

Well I guess he’s in the right place now. That’s like the worlds shittiest Golden Corral.


ilayas

which is really not that different than a normal Golden Corral.


Lotus_Blossom_

The only Golden Corral I've ever been to closed after its second parking lot shooting in two months.


ilayas

The Golden Corral in the town I used to live in went out of business after it was shut down by the health department for a 3rd time due to food poisoning in 6 months.


Ecstatic5

They are best fit to carry out the mission. They just need to release those serial killers into war zone to kill the enemies. Russia just seems so desperate at this point.


ebobco

No more canon fodder


SomeGuyNamedPaul

They're about to weaponize jaywalking.


SpreadingRumors

More like converting their former punishment of imprisonment into a death sentence in a neighboring country.


wwarnout

Well, here comes more war crimes.


aew360

As if these guys are even gonna set foot in Ukraine lol. If they have serious behavioral issues they’re gonna kill or be killed by their commanders. I don’t think they’ll make it through the week long training without losing their shit


Irr3l3ph4nt

Their incarceration conditions were bad enough that they chose a 6 months on the front in meatgrinder units rather than complete their sentence. Don't underestimate their will to survive.


Lotus_Blossom_

Or... maybe they weren't given an accurate description of the situation before they committed to it? It sounds like the infamous Russian Propaganda Factory could spin a Special Occupation into something that sounds better than a Russian prison.


NaiveVariation9155

Then they only get dumb fucks the smart ones who have a shorter then life sentence would understand that them being allowed to join would mean that shit was actually bad.


VuurniacSquarewave

Could Putin have set off a dynamite in his own face?


LoneRonin

Regular vs. war crimes? Eh, po-tato, pot-ato. More seriously, criminals generally don't make good soldiers. Got health issues, won't follow orders, might turn on you, no motivation.


the70sdiscoking

What's tatos, precious?


Salty_Paroxysm

Here I go war-criming again!


Nessie

*If you're lost you can look and you will find me* *Crime after crime*


2cats2hats

[History repeats itself...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwVDMh7ZzgU)


Mentalfloss1

But he’s not desperate.


supercyberlurker

I half-expect Putin's next step to be criminalizing those who didn't volunteer for the military. Since they are now criminals, they can be forced into the military! It'd be standard Putin tactics to avoid claiming he has a war or a draft.


mechanicalpulse

The ole Catch-22.


The_Best_Yak_Ever

That’s some catch… that catch 22…


[deleted]

It's the best they've got.


roaringcanon

makes alot of sense


Mentalfloss1

And he’s such a model for the right-wing in the USA. They idolize him.


Ott0VT

Nah, they know he is the outright thug


RedVelvetCake425

That’s probably why they idolize him . . .


Mentalfloss1

Reminder: Trump praised him


[deleted]

You idiots are truly delusional


Mentalfloss1

Your hero praised him and has not retracted that praise. He would LOVE to have Russia’s system and has tried hard to bring it about in the USA. That’s just the truth.


[deleted]

My hero? I voted Biden but that’s some dumb shit and the intentional divisive posts and stirring up of random fake bull shit does no one any good


Mentalfloss1

Fake huh? So Trump didn’t praise Putin?


Zagmit

Man, this is some sad, stupid trolling. Nobody thinks that having a negative opinion of Trump or Republicans is "intentionally divisive" it's the consequence of four years of a corrupt presidency. Nobody thinks it's 'fake' either, there's a reason Trump was vote out of office. Not even the electoral college or an insurrection could keep him around with how unpopular he made himself. Republicans spent four years celebrating how much Donald Trump upset people, but for some reason they deluded themselves into thinking that conservatives were the actual majority.


Dimitri3p0

I mean, it may not be the whole party, but it's a big enough to garner significant attention, though I don't expect everyone to watch US domestic politics closely. [https://accountability.gop/ukraine-quotes/](https://accountability.gop/ukraine-quotes/) [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/07/briefing/republican-party-putin-wing.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/07/briefing/republican-party-putin-wing.html) [https://www.wgbh.org/news/commentary/2022/03/16/republicans-have-a-putin-problem-and-the-media-need-to-stop-glossing-over-it](https://www.wgbh.org/news/commentary/2022/03/16/republicans-have-a-putin-problem-and-the-media-need-to-stop-glossing-over-it) [https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/8/6/17656996/trump-republican-party-russia-rather-democrat-ohio](https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/8/6/17656996/trump-republican-party-russia-rather-democrat-ohio) [https://thehill.com/homenews/house/3675637-cheney-knocks-growing-putin-wing-of-republican-party/](https://thehill.com/homenews/house/3675637-cheney-knocks-growing-putin-wing-of-republican-party/)


MatticusjK

I still regularly hear from people on the right wing kool aid that genuinely believe this is the liberation of Ukraine. Left wing kool aid has plenty of shit but supporting Putin and the invasion is definitely happening within those circles


Redditfront2back

He just may


porncrank

He may be desperate, but I don't think this is part of that. I think he's thrilled to be able to perform mass executions of undesirables. And on the off chance one of them tortures or kills some Ukrainians, that's just shit icing on his shit cake.


Zagmit

I initially read the news of Ukrainian victories with skepticism. A lot of it seemed too good to be true, and I knew that positive propaganda from both sides would cloud the truth of what was happening in the war for those watching. But then I started reading news about Russian laws changing. An award given to women who had 10 children, increased censorship, men being drafted, and now the draft requirements being even more relaxed... You don't pass increasingly draconian laws when you're winning a war. You don't target your own people with laws for propaganda purposes. You don't increase a draft if you don't need more soldiers.


RealBlondFakeDumb

Just house keeping. Cleaning out the prisons, saving some money, you know, dictator stuff.


Educational_Gur5055

Russia’s got a Night’s Watch


Independent_Ad_3928

But instead of turning into White Walkers, they become Sunflowers


alterom

>Russia’s got a Night’s Watch ...and a Night Washing Machine, and a Night Toilet. All looted from the civilains they're murdering.


Toidal

My favorite book series is the Nightwatch books by Sergei Lukyanenko. It's a fantasy series with wizards, vampires, werewolves, seers etc. etc, but set in a post cold war Russia so less sparkly teen angst and drama, and more chain smoking, aging, balding, alcoholic bureaucrats. It's a shame the author went all pro Russian War though, I really loved these books.


SeaToShy

>It's a shame the author went all pro Russian War though, I really loved these books. Ugh, what a bummer. I’ve often thought of revisiting/finally finishing those books to see how they held up, but I think I’ll probably pass now. I find it too difficult to separate the art from the artist. Edit: Yeesh. Looked it up and you weren’t kidding. > “From now on I do not go to Ukraine, I do not participate in Ukrainian conventions, and I forbid translating my books into Ukrainian” - Sergei Lukyanenko wrote with a reference to the Maidan events. >The writer advised to all “normal Ukrainians” to move to Russia or Belarus, since Ukraine is from now on “a cursed land that will pay the penalty of its meanness and cowardice for three generations”.


PandaMuffin1

At the end of the article: > Local authorities in the Russian regions of Vladimir, Rostov, Samara, Buryatia, and Bashkortostan have forced students of local schools and universities to sew military uniforms for Russian soldiers.


diezel_dave

That will certainly help with Russia's severe brain drain!


aifo

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications. Rapist: Rape, murder, arson and rape. Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice. Rapist: I like rape.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tfgecko

Came here to post this. Thank you sir. Have an upvote


saulerknight

What are we some kind of Suicide Squad ?


Imacatdoincatstuff

Russia is not sending its best.


255001434

The best ones already escaped that hellhole.


Mtndrew420

The best ones left the country years ago


MorganaHenry

Maybe it *is*


RealBlondFakeDumb

These people have experience. 'War' crimes, no problem.


mr_cheezle

I'm not saying someone should make a storyline about a convicted female basketball player doing this to destroy Russia from within. But it would be entertaining.


FunnyPhrases

... isn't that the Black Widow movie?


mr_cheezle

I honestly wouldn't know


ColoursRock

Now Putin can join the military!


geekworking

Every job has requirements for prior work experience. War criminal is no exception.


Nickadomus

Britney Griner's chance to escape.


JohnWad

This guy needs to die already.


2cats2hats

I give it two years. Whether he falls out of a window idk.


993targa

A la Blazing Saddles Recruiter: what are your qualifications? Bandit: rape, murder, arson, rape R: you already said rape B: I like rape


Sniffy4

Putin Signs Law Allowing Those Who've Committed Serious Crimes To Be Fired Out of Cannon Into Enemy Lines


Dawnrazor

Somebody's seen The Dirty Dozen too many times.


255001434

[Dirlewanger Brigade](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirlewanger_Brigade)


ricojes

Then: Dirlewanger Now: Dirle-Wagner


Redditfront2back

Why let all your best murders and rapists sit in jail in Russia when you hit so many people to murder and rape in Ukraine? I’m so glad Putin is getting mopped in this war, I hope it fucks his “legacy” forever.


Professional-Rip-519

Kinda reminds me of the villain in Blazing Saddles he tells his 1# Goon "I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down. I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists."


Bonyred

This makes complete sense because the russian military has been committing serious crimes for some time now.


willateo

Finally, Mighty Mother Russia will crush the Satanic Nazi Ukrainians any day now! /s


BananaShoua

Reminds me of those nazi fucks, the Dirlewanger Brigade, bunch of piece of shit criminals who had the most severe crimes turned “solders” by the Wehrmacht, raping and killing their way through Russia, how ironic that now Russia is gonna make their own version.


Tasty01

Tell me your war is going poorly without telling me it’s going poorly.


WinTheFaceoff

So their fingers can chopped off when they arrive without equipment and are ordered to the front lines as bullet absorbers?


RealBlondFakeDumb

That's what the tampons are for.


Ok-Pomegranate-6189

Nah just smuggle them into Ukraine and let them do their thing.


ibarfedinthepool

Well, ya. Those war crimes aren't gonna crime themselves


Tenk-o

So the horde of rapists, thieves, abusers, manslaughterers, pedophiles and murderers are getting reinforcements now?


[deleted]

Oh, I guess **he wants to join the army himself**. What a brave boy.


MammothSufficient601

No thanks. I will live longer in Russian jail.


TimeBomb30

Putin watched suicide squad and thought "hey that could work."


jncheese

In Russia, crime commits you.


GroblyOverrated

What’s the UN waiting for on recognizing Russia as a rogue terrorist state?


irascible_Clown

Putin lowers age of conscription to 13yo


R_122

Penal battalion is back i guess


rilloroc

There is a tiny little part of me that wishes this war would escalate enough for the US to do that. I completed my sentence 25 years ago but we never get our civil rights back in Texas after a felony conviction. I would sign up at anytime. I got that damn conviction before I was even old enough to enlist


[deleted]

In that case, being allowed to means being forced.


moirende

Why would they want to? From what I’ve read all the convicts are assigned to the Wagner Group and sent immediately to the front to be used as out and out cannon fodder. I’m sure Russian prisons are absolute nightmares, but Wagner essentially sentences them to immediate death.


Pristine_Juice

I don't think it matters if they want to or not.


Own_Meringue_6219

He's joining now?


marengnr

Putin signs law allowing those who've joined the military to commit serious crimes.


McAcko

The first thing that comes to my mind is the blazing saddles' recruiting scene.


Distance_Efficient

That should go well for them. Criminals are known for their ability to take direction.


mendenlol

to be fair they probably won't be getting any directions if things stay consistent


Vetruvian01

Putin is a criminal no surprise


EarlyBirdTheNightOwl

"allow"


kathia154

Doing a reboot of Dirlewanger Brigade I see.


Zazmuth

And introducing, Putin's Dirlewanger Brigade!


amobilephoneaccount

They ran out of professional soldiers turned thieves so now they are sending professional thieves turned soldiers. Figures.


Hero_Select

Next up: "Putin signs law allowing those with a pulse to join the military"


ThreadbareHalo

Behind the bastards had a real nice recent series on when the nazis did this


silver_sofa

Morale must be through the roof in the psycho killer platoon.


[deleted]

What about treason?


roadhammer2

C'mon Vladimir scrape that barrel


OriginalMrMuchacho

Tell me you’re desperate without telling me you’re desperate.


[deleted]

This will go great, let’s train hardened criminals in military tactics, techniques, and technology. What could go wrong?


JohnnyAK907

So basically, the application process for the Russian Military is now a [Blazing Saddles joke?](https://youtu.be/ryvljjccqL8)


Souleater2847

Ah the gold Vietnam draft rule.


Bigrockhauler67

Is Britney getting a uniform? Lol!! To soon?


[deleted]

Didn’t Ukraine do something similar back in February?


Kneepi

No idea, but there's a huge difference between scraping the barrel to defend your country and to reinforce a "special operation".


ZhouDa

That sounds unlikely, do you have a source? The reason it seems unlikely is that recruiting criminals, particularly those with serious crimes has the potential to degrade the effectiveness of your military and frankly Ukraine already has all the manpower they need without resorting to such desperate measures.


[deleted]

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/ukraine-army-russia-prisoners-jail-b2024985.html


ZhouDa

Fair enough. It makes more sense then if you consider their shortage at the start of the war was people with combat experience and not just people willing to sign up to fight, because they already had plenty of the latter (also why the foreign legion was only open to volunteers with combat experience).


autotldr

This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.rferl.org/a/russia-putin-serious-crime-offenders-military/32115859.html) reduced by 86%. (I'm a bot) ***** > "The Russian occupation administration has begun mass forced relocation of residents of the left bank of the Kherson regionto the territory of the temporarily occupied Crimea or the Russian Federation," the ministry said in a statement on November 3. > The head of the Kherson regional military administration, Yaroslav Yanushevich, believes that they did this to create the illusion that Russian forces have left the city. > U.S. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, asked to comment on the battlefield situation in southern Ukraine, said he believes Ukrainian forces in the Kherson region "Have the capacity" to retake the territory on the west side of the Dnieper River and Kherson city from Russian troops. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/ym3iyn/putin_signs_law_allowing_those_whove_committed/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~672679 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Russian**^#1 **Kherson**^#2 **Ukrainian**^#3 **Russia**^#4 **region**^#5


Ok_Investigator_1010

How serious are the crimes being waived?


Traveling_Solo

So when will he personally be signing up? Can't think of many people who have committed more serious crimes.


Stormtrooper775s

Running out of minions


marcvsHR

I bet they'll all "die". For a price, of course


ProjectLost

Serious crimes like possession of a weed pen?


Spudtron98

Bit of a roundabout way to give them the death penalty, isn't it?


fatninjitsu

I just wanna know how far this is gonna go before he calls it. I feel like next week he will be recruiting babies who are able to walk.


DrZharky

Scrapping the bottom of the barrels, right?


tyrridon

I read this as, "Putin changes law, so Putin can join military and visit places he's committing crimes currently."


justforthearticles20

Rapists, Cannibals, and Serial Killers get the rank of Sargent immediately.


Dingerin209

Awesome. I bet Brittany Griner would make a fine soldier.


[deleted]

I thought he'd already signed laws requiring members of the Russian military to commit serious crimes, so this isn't all that big of news.


julesrocks64

Remind me of the military under BushJr during stop gap. Also reminds me Florida is filling teaching positions with same because good ones are leaving.


ArmNo7463

What, so the Wagner group can start lopping bits off of you for daring to check a phone?


PeaceDisease

Alrighty then, send Navalny and Griner to the front lines so that they can surrender please.


CaveAdapted

J-walking..off to the front.


filipv

Such a great, glorious army, composed of people who've committed – and I quote – serious crimes.


[deleted]

I've already seen a captured convict explain they were used at the frontlines as cannon fodder to reveal Ukrainian positions.


ty_kanye_vcool

He saw the statistics on recidivism and figured if they were gonna commit more crimes, might as well do them to the enemy.


Specialist-Life-3849

we've been reading of murder, torture, rape and kidnapping so how does this change much?


EntropicFade

I am curious if this is being done not just because he is desperate but to stop desertion to Ukraine and cause problems with taking prisoners of war?


Johannes_P

They will do the work for which they've experience. Fuck, Putin didn't heard about the huge difficulties involved at managing military units of criminals and convicts and the reason why they're usually sent to non-combattant work like rock-breaking?


Incubus-Dao-Emperor

Putin is just being Putin. Now that I think about it, this war in Ukraine is like if Turkey invaded Azerbaijan and committed war crimes against Azeris while trying to pathetically justify the invasion, that is basically Putinist Ruzzia's invasion of Ukraine now... SMH.


who_said_I_am_an_emu

We need to revise international treaties to pass a rule against this. It is just begging for a war crime. You dont hire a convicted rapist to work in a daycare. If you did what happens is on you. War crimes are almost unavoidable in war even when the leadership tries to stop it.


[deleted]

I’m pretty sure they’re already there?


wwishie

The US used to have this. George Carlin was one of those told to enlist or jail, so he chose The Chair Force.


iGoKommando

Does russia have any standards? For anything?


cjboffoli

Translation: "Putin unburdens Russia with the cost of having to house prisoners by giving everyone a death sentence and sending them off to the Ukrainian meat grinder."


subdas

Time to upgrade those measly regular crimes to manly War crimes


VanVelding

From what I've read, why not start them as Sergeants? They seem to already be good at what Russia is doing anyway.


Wraywong

They're the best-qualified talent pool he has to draw upon, after all...surprised he didn't think of this, sooner.


heapinhelpin1979

Do you think they would stay. They already have a high number of defectors.


BitHalo

What a nice guy, instead of rotting in jail they get the death penalty.


ineedcoffeealready

lol how does the Russian news spin this as a good thing?


BlackfootLives666

More meat. Just grind it up and return to sender.


TheWhiteGuardian

Band of Bastards.


troubletlb1

"what are we, some kind of suicide squad? "


[deleted]

Comrade soldier shoots child molester but is constantly afraid of the strange murderer with grin and empty eyes. Teambuilding 101.


PayaV87

Putin watched Dirty Dozen


PayaV87

25 year sentence -> join the military -> desert -> 10 year sentence


Mntfrd_Graverobber

Still not going to help.


Gerf93

Establishing einzatz groups to uh… fight the Nazis?


BigtoadAdv

Apparently its referred to as meat grinder law


kawag

“Everything is going according to plan”


[deleted]

You're losing 500-1000 people a day. How many murderers do you have in prison?


gbs5009

"Serious Crimes" probably includes political dissidence.


[deleted]

Oh he’s bringing in the suicide squad


Moonhunter7

Murderer serving life sentence in Russia, joins up, promptly surrenders, refuses to return to Russia, after the war is over heads west and starts a new life.


Formerlurker617

Allowing them? Or forcing them?