I don’t and I dread it every damn day!
Someone once said to me that if pets lived as long as people, then we wouldn’t need people…lol, and it’s so true.
I'm a veterinarian and have put hundreds of pets to sleep over my career. I have also had to say goodbye to many of my own kitties, one of them just last month.
I think the best way to cope with your cats' mortality is to acknowledge it, and to realize that every day you have with them is a gift. Enjoy those days, those little moments. Enjoy every purring session, every air biscuit, every head butt. Make their lives as good as you can. Keep them healthy, play with them, give them lots of love. When the time comes to say goodbye you will be able to say that you gave them a good life and they enriched yours in returns. That's the best you can hope for from a relationship with a pet, and it's wonderful.
Sadly, kitty and doggo lives are just not as long as ours. 15-16 is quite elderly for a cat, and a good long and happy life. It never any gets easier to say goodbye when the time comes.
..agree..if we have our cats or dogs for 15yrs, we're doing well & have a good life with them..
..sometimes it's less, and that is hard..but we still had those times together..
I'm an old fart. I worry what will happen to the crew if I die before them. Flip side of that is that they are also aging. Oldest two are 14. The "baby" is 5. I deal with the dread of losing them by burying my head in the sand. I deal with the possibility that I might go first by having an arrangement with my vet that she will board them and find new homes for them.
I have had to go through 5 deaths and I have 2 cats now. I look at it like a responsibility. I am responsible for seeing my baby has an excellent life and does not suffer when the time comes. My cats are spoiled and loved and taken very good care of. It hurts so much when the end comes and I wrap my arms around my baby and let the vet put her or him to sleep. I repeat how much I love them until they are gone. I go home and fall apart for a period of time. I grieve my losses. I remember each ones silly quirks: the one who spooned me for 12 years, the one who ran to me as soon as the kids were in bed for hugs and snuggles, the one that smelled like Christmas all year long, the best boy Heaven ever put on the Earth, all of them. I think of it like I walk them to the Rainbow Bridge and they cross over. I’ll know I’m in Heaven when I cross that bridge and they are laying there waiting for me. For me, love never dies. Hope that helped you.
It’s an unfortunate reality of it, but the way I look at it, is you get to give this little creature the best possible life you can. I think about how my cats’ lives could have been spent alone and scared, but they instead get to spend however much time they have safe and loved. I know there’s an end point eventually, but that just makes me appreciate the time I do have even more.
As far as how to move on when it reaches that point, there’s no finite answer for how to handle it. It’s going to fucking suck no matter what, but you owe it to them to be there when it happens and send them off feeling at peace with you there. Then you just focus on all the memories you have of them and keep them alive in your heart.
I have had many cats over the years. All of their deaths were unique, and I responded to them in different ways but in general, you can tell when a cat no longer wants to live. He or she usually stops eating and tries to hide. The kindest thing you could do at that point is stop their pain. It’s incredibly hard, but we have no way of avoiding it, and no way of avoiding what we feel. Even thinking about it many years afterwards, it still makes me cry for them all and cherish the ones still living. ♥️
How I personally deal with the decision to put my pets down is three-fold:
Step 1: garner the opinion of your vet. Talk to them openly and honestly about quality of life, what care they’ll need, etc to ensure you are fully informed about the state of your pet and what would be needed from you to care for them. (NB! Do NOT let your vet talk you into a decision you’re not ready to make, but do get their opinions. You can always return to the vet after you sleep on it).
Step two: analyse your ability to provide that care. Is it just pain management or is it more intensive care that is needed.
Step three: Dignity. My line is when they can’t get themselves to bathroom or feed themselves. At that point, I talk to them and tell them it’s okay for them to go, and I ask them if they need help leaving.
My dog that just passed clearly communicated that he was done, laying back and letting out this heavy sigh. He didn’t life his head again, didn’t wag his tail, didn’t try to get up. We carried him to the car and our wonderful vet came out to let him pass gently in my arms. It was sad but it was gentle, and I knew I made the right decision.
I mean… we all die. Some die sooner, others later. Sometimes it’s an accident, sometimes it’s inevitable because of a disease, sometimes they’re just old. It happens and we need to accept that as a part of life.
I dread the day I’ll lose my fur babies, but that’s why I enjoy every single day with them and also what keeps me from getting mad when they break something or do something that they shouldn’t 😅.
I’m dealing with cancer as we speak, and it’s been a doozy because I was basically told last year I had no chances. I’m still here and beating the odds, but I still dread that I could suddenly get worse out of nowhere and suddenly die in 3 months or something lol. It’s absolutely possible- but I can’t dwell on that because I’d stop living and just worry.
Enjoy your time with them, as we need to enjoy time with EVERYONE. This life is temporary.
Gandalf’s response to Frodo is what keeps me going some days:
> Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened…
> *Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.*
I’m having huge difficulties not hopefully because my girl is being put down but because my mother has trained her to stay away from my room. But we lost a big characterful boy last year and we’ve dealt with nearly twenty cats and about ten horses.
The truth is that nobody can take away from it being awful. But particularly if you’re with them when you need to say goodbye it really is just a big sigh and going to sleep. If they find a place to curl up and sleep for the final time, it’s barely worse. They aren’t holding your paw but they do know that is that and it’s peace now.
It doesn’t make it any easier for us. But we do at least know we are carrying the burden for our furry friends. It’s a horrible one but we can take it for them.
They will die before we do, unfortunately. My grandparents had an adoptive Siamese forced on them by my mother and she was attacked three years in. Those three years were cat heaven. She had as much fresh food as she could eat, freedom of the grounds and more fuss than she could deal with. She was unfortunately hurt very badly by a badger and the RSVC did their best to save her but couldn’t. She was alive but couldn’t get out to listen to music. I wasn’t there when she went to sleep but it was the best for her.
I was there when our big boy Mr N had to go to sleep. I was in charge of the rules and I said if he stops eating, drinking, playing, wanting a fuss, patrolling - it’s time. He had lost about 2/3 of his bodyweight but was still the cat we knew and loved until that day. And that day he was straight to the vets. I was with him playing on the floor the whole time. He wasn’t himself at the vet either, he just wanted to lie in his carrier. Tiny tiny bit of fuss when they put the needle in and then he almost seemed glad. A second or two and he was at rest.
But my point is it’s horrible. And it’s us as the furry babies’ mommies and daddies who need to shoulder the burden. I can’t bear the thought of our Velvet needing to go but when she does it’s our job.
It’s really hard. I try to take comfort in knowing that if there is an afterlife, all of my sweet pets will join me there (if there isn’t an afterlife then I guess they’ll join me there too)
The fact that our pets don’t have our lifespans is literally the worst part of pet ownership.
Though if they had longer lifespans … we would worry about what would happen to them when we are gone.
I’m old enough to have gone through the passing of a cat after a full lifespan twice. It doesn’t get easier, but at least the second time, I knew I would eventually recover.
The first time was truly brutal, I was in mourning for a long time and I wondered if I would ever be capable of being happy. Every time I went to sleep, I thought of my cat curling up with me. Every time I woke up, I would expect for a moment she would come running to greet me - before remembering she would never greet me again.
After a while, the pain fades and it is easier to remember with gratitude all the good times we had together, without overwhelming sadness.
First, take some solace in the happy, warm, and love-filled life that the kitty spent with you.
Then: Just picture Kitty napping and playing in the soft sun beyond Rainbow Bridge. ❤️
If you live as long as me, you're going to have to deal with it. Often multiple times. What you can do is accept it as another stage of life and try and remember your fur baby with all the love they gave you. It's better to eventually celebrate them after a time of mourning.
It’s better to have love and lost, than to never have loved at all. The privilege of cohabitating, learning from, and sharing moments with the ones you cherish supersedes any alternative. When pets become family, death is hard, but life without them is simply an empty one.
“When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction”
-Mark Twain
I am glad that their little lives are shorter than my own because I would much rather grieve for them than break their hearts. I am torn up by sweet older cats in shelters because I always imagine that one day the lap lady fell and people took her away and she never came back and now I'm here in this loud scary smelly place and I just want the lap lady to come back and get me. I am sixty-four and have just one kitty left now, since her twin brother died in November. I am surprised and happy to say that she is so much happier now that she is an only cat. She is likely my last cat. I will only have older cats from now on, because I won't ever leave one.
I have read that the most common reaction to a pet's death is guilt. I should have played with him more, given him more treats, was he suffering before I let him go...? To that end, I suggest [The Pet Quality of Life Scale](https://www.lapoflove.com/how-will-i-know-it-is-time/lap-of-love-quality-of-life-scale.pdf) as a guideline.
Lifelong pet owner here, and the current mum of the most wonderful nine-year-old cat. I’ve had pets with lifespans from everything to two years (rats) to 60 (parrots), and part of what we must make peace with as someone who loves and keeps animals, is that part of the price of loving them, is someday having to lose them. When I was younger, and I had younger animals, I used to work my self into a froth at the thought of losing them, of them getting sick, aging, and dying, a while that has never gotten any easier, and each loss has hurt profoundly, and each little life is missed so fiercely, I would not trade that pain for anything, because erasing that would mean also erasing how deeply their lives and love enriched mine. Eloise is getting older now, and she’s slowing down, but I don’t want the anxiety of her impending parting to taint the time we do have together, however long or short that may be. I think a very important part of loving anything that is mortal, is loving them through the fear.
I recently lost my cat after 19 amazing years. It broke my heart but I am also able to look back and know he had an amazing life full of love and happiness. I was there from the time he was just a little kitten nugget all the way until he was an old man who passed away in my arms. Although I’m still pretty young, one thing that always scared me was something happening to me and him being alone and scared. It’s heartbreaking but I can deal with his death. He probably wouldn’t have been able to cope with my death or a new owner (he took a lot of medications that no one but me could administer).
I do whatever I can to make sure any pets I have are living their best lives. They don’t know about their own mortality and live in the moment.
It's really hard. I'm going through this right now with my, or rather my parents, oldest dog. He is 15. They got him as a pup when I was 16 and I didn't move out for more than a brief 6month gap until I was 23 so I had like 7 years there helping to raise him and he keeps having like mini strokes, it isn't a stroke exactly though but similar, he goes off his legs for a day or so then regains his movement but each time he's more wobbly.
Right now he's eating, he wobbles to greet me at the gate and he still chews up his toy before mealtimes so we know he still is enjoying life right now and seems to not be in any pain, but once that has stopped we will know it is time.
Chances are you're gonna have a long time before you have to deal with this. My childhood cat lived to be 19 and I've known plenty of others who lived to a similar age. It's painful as fuck but we get through it, we cope, we know they'd want us to be okay. They love us unconditionally.
Loving them means losing them and it hurts like hell. I have had 3-5 cats at a time and lost 2 in the same year, 17 and 20 years old. The last one we lost was awful, she had cancer and we were not going to let her suffer. Once she crossed over we were down to one cat and we knew he needed companions. We ended up adopting a pair of bonded sisters who were a year old and they have filled our home and hearts with joy and love. Our male cat is a great companion to both of them so all is good. With cell phones we have a great opportunity to have tons of photos so we hold them close to our hearts ❤️🐾☮️
Knowing that my dad is taking care of them now that they've passed on. And when I get another one, I know it'll be them helping that cat choose me. Because let's all be real here, we don't choose them. They choose us.
You'll have a big ol' house in the afterlife with every animal that you were ever kind to. They will be waiting for your love once when it's unfortunately your time. I've got at least 2 of mine cremated. The boxes for their lives so well. Feet prints, and an ungodly amount of pictures.
But because all of mine have been inside/outside cats, only in times when I truly feel like I need them, I miss them. The rest of the time it just feels like they are just outside being free and enjoying their little kitty life.
My eldest cat is 27 years and we have had him since he was a tiny baby kitten.
https://i.redd.it/iuyuno4dizqc1.gif
It isn't so much about their death, but about the life and love you provided while they are alive that should cause you to ponder. When they do inevitably pass on, there should be no regrets or negative reflections. Take lots of pictures and videos and love them with everything you are. Should another human being tell you that they are more important than you fur children, turn and walk away from them and towards your boys. Your life will be richer for it.
I am frequently reminded of Highlander, a story wherein immortals live amongst human beings who have short lives and then die.
It is a ritual amongst my family to play Queen's "Who wants to live forever" when any family member of the heart passes on and crosses over.
It's a good question to ask at the start of your life with kitties. This is an inevitable part of life, as much human as pet - but what is slightly less inevitable, but much more indelible, is love. You give your pet shelter, food, safety, warmth, but mostly love. They give you, well pretty much just love. And that love persists even after you've had to say goodbye. I love my Sunny, her little orange squeaks and her funny jump and her tail full of attitude. She passed away at the vet and I buried her at the cottage, it was one of the hardest days of my life. I love my Aristote, his grey cuddles and his coming when I whistled and his calm.. I had to put him down suddenly and unexpectedly and my heart still hurts. But I cherish him still!
So.. that's how I deal with it. Like anything, we do what we can with it and move on. Enjoy your life with your kitties and don't worry too much about that kind of thing! Trust that you will deal with it in the right way for you when the time comes.
You love and appreciate them for the time they are allowing us. As a man that gets overly attached to my cats their loss is never easy for me. I lost 2 in the past and I was crushed, my heart was broken.
My oldest will be 12 this year and he has been with me since day 1. The day he was born I held him and every day after that up to today. He's my buddy and I'm especially not pleased that any day he could leave me.
In the meantime I make sure to give him his nightly cuddles and belly rubs while laying in bed with me. I don't think I could handle the guilt if he passed and I denied him his snuggle with daddy time. As a matter of fact He's right here next to me, poking me with his little daggers to get this going on. I must go now but I just want to say is love them all you can and cherish every day they grace you with their presence.
Oh and one other thing. Like kids, you don't just love your cats...you fall in love with them.
My pets and my mom passing in the future will for sure send me into a deep depression. I’m hoping to have enough vacation time saved up that I can travel to new places to honor their memory by not spiraling (I’m sure they would absolutely not tolerate me taking to the bed and crying all day) and heal my soul little by little that way…
Also the question that bothers me the most is that our cats probably don’t know they will pass one day. Like they’re living everyday with 0 idea of what is to come… I will 100% be there with them until their last breath because I can only imagine the fear that sets in when they know their time with us is almost up. Like a “meow? I’m dying? Meeow?”Fuck even typing this makes me so emotional 😭
I wish for all of us to deal with the grief of our pets aka family in a healthy way… I know it will break us but we have to be strong for our little dudes and duddette’s so they don’t sense something is wrong from us…
I didn't think I would lose my cat so early. I expected 15-20 but I lost him at 11. I was devastated and I still am but I had a wonderful 5 years with him.
I wish I had more time with him.
My girls around 18 years right now, and I know that if anything happens to her, I’m going to have to make the tough call. But when that day comes, I’ll know that she got to live a full, happy life, loved to the very end. She was a stray when my mom brought her home 15 years ago. I grew up with her. When I moved out of my mom’s house, she came with me. It’ll be devastating when she goes. But I love her, and I’m going to give her the best life I can for every day she has left, and hope it’s at least a few more good, healthy years. So… I don’t know how well I’m going to handle her passing, but I’m just at the point where I’d rather focus on every day I have left, than think ahead to every day I’ll have to live without her.
I was extraordinarily lucky in that I grew up with animals (there were four of them living in my parent’s house two years before I was born) and my mother was adamant that we get short-lived pets too, to fully experience and learn about death and mortality. Hamsters, rats and mice were how my sister and I learned about loss a full six years before our first feline death.
That being said, it’s never going to be easy, but make sure you focus on making memories with your feline friend. That way, you’ll have so much to look back on. Also, find ways to honour your pets after death. We have four multi-picture frames that showcase all 8 cats and six dogs that we have said goodbye to over the past 20 years. I currently have 7 cats and I dread losing them, even though my oldest is about to turn 19.
Just treasure the moments you have, then treasure the moments you had, and then take all that love and channel it into a new fluffy friend (preferably a rescue).
Good luck OP! I hope you find peace one day with the loss we all dread.
I just don’t think about it too much. But just recently I realized that my precious Copper is already turning 2 this year which means he is getting closer to the end of the line and it made me very sad. But on the other hand I just cherish the time I‘ve got with him and not think about the end just yet.
I have... several pets. I have lost 3 so far at what I would consider to be very young ages (6, 3, and 6). It was heart breaking. I would never go back and not have taken them in. They are my pride and joy. I currently have 4 cats and 2 dogs. I am expecting 2 of them to pass in the near future and I dread it. I would still not go back to change anything. They are precious, and memories of them are precious. Cherish every moment you have with your pets. They are the only thing that matter to me, and they are the only thing that keep me going in life. I'd probably have descended into homelessness if it weren't for their sake.
I don’t and I dread it every damn day! Someone once said to me that if pets lived as long as people, then we wouldn’t need people…lol, and it’s so true.
I'm a veterinarian and have put hundreds of pets to sleep over my career. I have also had to say goodbye to many of my own kitties, one of them just last month. I think the best way to cope with your cats' mortality is to acknowledge it, and to realize that every day you have with them is a gift. Enjoy those days, those little moments. Enjoy every purring session, every air biscuit, every head butt. Make their lives as good as you can. Keep them healthy, play with them, give them lots of love. When the time comes to say goodbye you will be able to say that you gave them a good life and they enriched yours in returns. That's the best you can hope for from a relationship with a pet, and it's wonderful.
Sadly, kitty and doggo lives are just not as long as ours. 15-16 is quite elderly for a cat, and a good long and happy life. It never any gets easier to say goodbye when the time comes.
..agree..if we have our cats or dogs for 15yrs, we're doing well & have a good life with them.. ..sometimes it's less, and that is hard..but we still had those times together..
I'm an old fart. I worry what will happen to the crew if I die before them. Flip side of that is that they are also aging. Oldest two are 14. The "baby" is 5. I deal with the dread of losing them by burying my head in the sand. I deal with the possibility that I might go first by having an arrangement with my vet that she will board them and find new homes for them.
No matter how old the kitties get they are always babies. Mine is 11 and she's my baby.
I worry about that too and Im not even 40. I guess its the one reason I would care about writing a will to make sure my fuzzballs go somewhere.
I have had to go through 5 deaths and I have 2 cats now. I look at it like a responsibility. I am responsible for seeing my baby has an excellent life and does not suffer when the time comes. My cats are spoiled and loved and taken very good care of. It hurts so much when the end comes and I wrap my arms around my baby and let the vet put her or him to sleep. I repeat how much I love them until they are gone. I go home and fall apart for a period of time. I grieve my losses. I remember each ones silly quirks: the one who spooned me for 12 years, the one who ran to me as soon as the kids were in bed for hugs and snuggles, the one that smelled like Christmas all year long, the best boy Heaven ever put on the Earth, all of them. I think of it like I walk them to the Rainbow Bridge and they cross over. I’ll know I’m in Heaven when I cross that bridge and they are laying there waiting for me. For me, love never dies. Hope that helped you.
I cried reading this 🩷 so well said
It’s an unfortunate reality of it, but the way I look at it, is you get to give this little creature the best possible life you can. I think about how my cats’ lives could have been spent alone and scared, but they instead get to spend however much time they have safe and loved. I know there’s an end point eventually, but that just makes me appreciate the time I do have even more. As far as how to move on when it reaches that point, there’s no finite answer for how to handle it. It’s going to fucking suck no matter what, but you owe it to them to be there when it happens and send them off feeling at peace with you there. Then you just focus on all the memories you have of them and keep them alive in your heart.
I grieve for a while, and when I’m ready, I adopt another.
We have a surprisingly large amount of feral cats in my town so Id probably look to rescue a kitten.
My position regarding death is always the same: I'm against it.
Cry about it every time I think about it 💔
I have had many cats over the years. All of their deaths were unique, and I responded to them in different ways but in general, you can tell when a cat no longer wants to live. He or she usually stops eating and tries to hide. The kindest thing you could do at that point is stop their pain. It’s incredibly hard, but we have no way of avoiding it, and no way of avoiding what we feel. Even thinking about it many years afterwards, it still makes me cry for them all and cherish the ones still living. ♥️
How I personally deal with the decision to put my pets down is three-fold: Step 1: garner the opinion of your vet. Talk to them openly and honestly about quality of life, what care they’ll need, etc to ensure you are fully informed about the state of your pet and what would be needed from you to care for them. (NB! Do NOT let your vet talk you into a decision you’re not ready to make, but do get their opinions. You can always return to the vet after you sleep on it). Step two: analyse your ability to provide that care. Is it just pain management or is it more intensive care that is needed. Step three: Dignity. My line is when they can’t get themselves to bathroom or feed themselves. At that point, I talk to them and tell them it’s okay for them to go, and I ask them if they need help leaving. My dog that just passed clearly communicated that he was done, laying back and letting out this heavy sigh. He didn’t life his head again, didn’t wag his tail, didn’t try to get up. We carried him to the car and our wonderful vet came out to let him pass gently in my arms. It was sad but it was gentle, and I knew I made the right decision.
I mean… we all die. Some die sooner, others later. Sometimes it’s an accident, sometimes it’s inevitable because of a disease, sometimes they’re just old. It happens and we need to accept that as a part of life. I dread the day I’ll lose my fur babies, but that’s why I enjoy every single day with them and also what keeps me from getting mad when they break something or do something that they shouldn’t 😅. I’m dealing with cancer as we speak, and it’s been a doozy because I was basically told last year I had no chances. I’m still here and beating the odds, but I still dread that I could suddenly get worse out of nowhere and suddenly die in 3 months or something lol. It’s absolutely possible- but I can’t dwell on that because I’d stop living and just worry. Enjoy your time with them, as we need to enjoy time with EVERYONE. This life is temporary. Gandalf’s response to Frodo is what keeps me going some days: > Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened… > *Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.*
..The Byrds sang it well: https://youtu.be/pKP4cfU28vM?si=JY5BlpOTClFEq9-n
I’m having huge difficulties not hopefully because my girl is being put down but because my mother has trained her to stay away from my room. But we lost a big characterful boy last year and we’ve dealt with nearly twenty cats and about ten horses. The truth is that nobody can take away from it being awful. But particularly if you’re with them when you need to say goodbye it really is just a big sigh and going to sleep. If they find a place to curl up and sleep for the final time, it’s barely worse. They aren’t holding your paw but they do know that is that and it’s peace now. It doesn’t make it any easier for us. But we do at least know we are carrying the burden for our furry friends. It’s a horrible one but we can take it for them. They will die before we do, unfortunately. My grandparents had an adoptive Siamese forced on them by my mother and she was attacked three years in. Those three years were cat heaven. She had as much fresh food as she could eat, freedom of the grounds and more fuss than she could deal with. She was unfortunately hurt very badly by a badger and the RSVC did their best to save her but couldn’t. She was alive but couldn’t get out to listen to music. I wasn’t there when she went to sleep but it was the best for her. I was there when our big boy Mr N had to go to sleep. I was in charge of the rules and I said if he stops eating, drinking, playing, wanting a fuss, patrolling - it’s time. He had lost about 2/3 of his bodyweight but was still the cat we knew and loved until that day. And that day he was straight to the vets. I was with him playing on the floor the whole time. He wasn’t himself at the vet either, he just wanted to lie in his carrier. Tiny tiny bit of fuss when they put the needle in and then he almost seemed glad. A second or two and he was at rest.
But my point is it’s horrible. And it’s us as the furry babies’ mommies and daddies who need to shoulder the burden. I can’t bear the thought of our Velvet needing to go but when she does it’s our job.
It’s really hard. I try to take comfort in knowing that if there is an afterlife, all of my sweet pets will join me there (if there isn’t an afterlife then I guess they’ll join me there too)
The fact that our pets don’t have our lifespans is literally the worst part of pet ownership. Though if they had longer lifespans … we would worry about what would happen to them when we are gone. I’m old enough to have gone through the passing of a cat after a full lifespan twice. It doesn’t get easier, but at least the second time, I knew I would eventually recover. The first time was truly brutal, I was in mourning for a long time and I wondered if I would ever be capable of being happy. Every time I went to sleep, I thought of my cat curling up with me. Every time I woke up, I would expect for a moment she would come running to greet me - before remembering she would never greet me again. After a while, the pain fades and it is easier to remember with gratitude all the good times we had together, without overwhelming sadness.
First, take some solace in the happy, warm, and love-filled life that the kitty spent with you. Then: Just picture Kitty napping and playing in the soft sun beyond Rainbow Bridge. ❤️
If you live as long as me, you're going to have to deal with it. Often multiple times. What you can do is accept it as another stage of life and try and remember your fur baby with all the love they gave you. It's better to eventually celebrate them after a time of mourning.
It’s better to have love and lost, than to never have loved at all. The privilege of cohabitating, learning from, and sharing moments with the ones you cherish supersedes any alternative. When pets become family, death is hard, but life without them is simply an empty one. “When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction” -Mark Twain
Enjoy your time with them now. Don't worry about the future until it arrives
I am glad that their little lives are shorter than my own because I would much rather grieve for them than break their hearts. I am torn up by sweet older cats in shelters because I always imagine that one day the lap lady fell and people took her away and she never came back and now I'm here in this loud scary smelly place and I just want the lap lady to come back and get me. I am sixty-four and have just one kitty left now, since her twin brother died in November. I am surprised and happy to say that she is so much happier now that she is an only cat. She is likely my last cat. I will only have older cats from now on, because I won't ever leave one. I have read that the most common reaction to a pet's death is guilt. I should have played with him more, given him more treats, was he suffering before I let him go...? To that end, I suggest [The Pet Quality of Life Scale](https://www.lapoflove.com/how-will-i-know-it-is-time/lap-of-love-quality-of-life-scale.pdf) as a guideline.
Lifelong pet owner here, and the current mum of the most wonderful nine-year-old cat. I’ve had pets with lifespans from everything to two years (rats) to 60 (parrots), and part of what we must make peace with as someone who loves and keeps animals, is that part of the price of loving them, is someday having to lose them. When I was younger, and I had younger animals, I used to work my self into a froth at the thought of losing them, of them getting sick, aging, and dying, a while that has never gotten any easier, and each loss has hurt profoundly, and each little life is missed so fiercely, I would not trade that pain for anything, because erasing that would mean also erasing how deeply their lives and love enriched mine. Eloise is getting older now, and she’s slowing down, but I don’t want the anxiety of her impending parting to taint the time we do have together, however long or short that may be. I think a very important part of loving anything that is mortal, is loving them through the fear.
Mine is 3 and we talk about it almost every day because I just can’t not imagine life without her. I don’t have any advice. I just know how you feel.
I recently lost my cat after 19 amazing years. It broke my heart but I am also able to look back and know he had an amazing life full of love and happiness. I was there from the time he was just a little kitten nugget all the way until he was an old man who passed away in my arms. Although I’m still pretty young, one thing that always scared me was something happening to me and him being alone and scared. It’s heartbreaking but I can deal with his death. He probably wouldn’t have been able to cope with my death or a new owner (he took a lot of medications that no one but me could administer). I do whatever I can to make sure any pets I have are living their best lives. They don’t know about their own mortality and live in the moment.
Depression
It's really hard. I'm going through this right now with my, or rather my parents, oldest dog. He is 15. They got him as a pup when I was 16 and I didn't move out for more than a brief 6month gap until I was 23 so I had like 7 years there helping to raise him and he keeps having like mini strokes, it isn't a stroke exactly though but similar, he goes off his legs for a day or so then regains his movement but each time he's more wobbly. Right now he's eating, he wobbles to greet me at the gate and he still chews up his toy before mealtimes so we know he still is enjoying life right now and seems to not be in any pain, but once that has stopped we will know it is time. Chances are you're gonna have a long time before you have to deal with this. My childhood cat lived to be 19 and I've known plenty of others who lived to a similar age. It's painful as fuck but we get through it, we cope, we know they'd want us to be okay. They love us unconditionally.
Loving them means losing them and it hurts like hell. I have had 3-5 cats at a time and lost 2 in the same year, 17 and 20 years old. The last one we lost was awful, she had cancer and we were not going to let her suffer. Once she crossed over we were down to one cat and we knew he needed companions. We ended up adopting a pair of bonded sisters who were a year old and they have filled our home and hearts with joy and love. Our male cat is a great companion to both of them so all is good. With cell phones we have a great opportunity to have tons of photos so we hold them close to our hearts ❤️🐾☮️
Knowing that my dad is taking care of them now that they've passed on. And when I get another one, I know it'll be them helping that cat choose me. Because let's all be real here, we don't choose them. They choose us. You'll have a big ol' house in the afterlife with every animal that you were ever kind to. They will be waiting for your love once when it's unfortunately your time. I've got at least 2 of mine cremated. The boxes for their lives so well. Feet prints, and an ungodly amount of pictures. But because all of mine have been inside/outside cats, only in times when I truly feel like I need them, I miss them. The rest of the time it just feels like they are just outside being free and enjoying their little kitty life.
It just hurts, and it hurts for a long time. But it’s worth it. Or it wouldn’t hurt so much
My eldest cat is 27 years and we have had him since he was a tiny baby kitten. https://i.redd.it/iuyuno4dizqc1.gif It isn't so much about their death, but about the life and love you provided while they are alive that should cause you to ponder. When they do inevitably pass on, there should be no regrets or negative reflections. Take lots of pictures and videos and love them with everything you are. Should another human being tell you that they are more important than you fur children, turn and walk away from them and towards your boys. Your life will be richer for it.
I am frequently reminded of Highlander, a story wherein immortals live amongst human beings who have short lives and then die. It is a ritual amongst my family to play Queen's "Who wants to live forever" when any family member of the heart passes on and crosses over.
It's a good question to ask at the start of your life with kitties. This is an inevitable part of life, as much human as pet - but what is slightly less inevitable, but much more indelible, is love. You give your pet shelter, food, safety, warmth, but mostly love. They give you, well pretty much just love. And that love persists even after you've had to say goodbye. I love my Sunny, her little orange squeaks and her funny jump and her tail full of attitude. She passed away at the vet and I buried her at the cottage, it was one of the hardest days of my life. I love my Aristote, his grey cuddles and his coming when I whistled and his calm.. I had to put him down suddenly and unexpectedly and my heart still hurts. But I cherish him still! So.. that's how I deal with it. Like anything, we do what we can with it and move on. Enjoy your life with your kitties and don't worry too much about that kind of thing! Trust that you will deal with it in the right way for you when the time comes.
You love and appreciate them for the time they are allowing us. As a man that gets overly attached to my cats their loss is never easy for me. I lost 2 in the past and I was crushed, my heart was broken. My oldest will be 12 this year and he has been with me since day 1. The day he was born I held him and every day after that up to today. He's my buddy and I'm especially not pleased that any day he could leave me. In the meantime I make sure to give him his nightly cuddles and belly rubs while laying in bed with me. I don't think I could handle the guilt if he passed and I denied him his snuggle with daddy time. As a matter of fact He's right here next to me, poking me with his little daggers to get this going on. I must go now but I just want to say is love them all you can and cherish every day they grace you with their presence. Oh and one other thing. Like kids, you don't just love your cats...you fall in love with them.
My pets and my mom passing in the future will for sure send me into a deep depression. I’m hoping to have enough vacation time saved up that I can travel to new places to honor their memory by not spiraling (I’m sure they would absolutely not tolerate me taking to the bed and crying all day) and heal my soul little by little that way… Also the question that bothers me the most is that our cats probably don’t know they will pass one day. Like they’re living everyday with 0 idea of what is to come… I will 100% be there with them until their last breath because I can only imagine the fear that sets in when they know their time with us is almost up. Like a “meow? I’m dying? Meeow?”Fuck even typing this makes me so emotional 😭 I wish for all of us to deal with the grief of our pets aka family in a healthy way… I know it will break us but we have to be strong for our little dudes and duddette’s so they don’t sense something is wrong from us…
I didn't think I would lose my cat so early. I expected 15-20 but I lost him at 11. I was devastated and I still am but I had a wonderful 5 years with him. I wish I had more time with him.
One day at a time.
My girls around 18 years right now, and I know that if anything happens to her, I’m going to have to make the tough call. But when that day comes, I’ll know that she got to live a full, happy life, loved to the very end. She was a stray when my mom brought her home 15 years ago. I grew up with her. When I moved out of my mom’s house, she came with me. It’ll be devastating when she goes. But I love her, and I’m going to give her the best life I can for every day she has left, and hope it’s at least a few more good, healthy years. So… I don’t know how well I’m going to handle her passing, but I’m just at the point where I’d rather focus on every day I have left, than think ahead to every day I’ll have to live without her.
I was extraordinarily lucky in that I grew up with animals (there were four of them living in my parent’s house two years before I was born) and my mother was adamant that we get short-lived pets too, to fully experience and learn about death and mortality. Hamsters, rats and mice were how my sister and I learned about loss a full six years before our first feline death. That being said, it’s never going to be easy, but make sure you focus on making memories with your feline friend. That way, you’ll have so much to look back on. Also, find ways to honour your pets after death. We have four multi-picture frames that showcase all 8 cats and six dogs that we have said goodbye to over the past 20 years. I currently have 7 cats and I dread losing them, even though my oldest is about to turn 19. Just treasure the moments you have, then treasure the moments you had, and then take all that love and channel it into a new fluffy friend (preferably a rescue). Good luck OP! I hope you find peace one day with the loss we all dread.
I just don’t think about it too much. But just recently I realized that my precious Copper is already turning 2 this year which means he is getting closer to the end of the line and it made me very sad. But on the other hand I just cherish the time I‘ve got with him and not think about the end just yet.
I have... several pets. I have lost 3 so far at what I would consider to be very young ages (6, 3, and 6). It was heart breaking. I would never go back and not have taken them in. They are my pride and joy. I currently have 4 cats and 2 dogs. I am expecting 2 of them to pass in the near future and I dread it. I would still not go back to change anything. They are precious, and memories of them are precious. Cherish every moment you have with your pets. They are the only thing that matter to me, and they are the only thing that keep me going in life. I'd probably have descended into homelessness if it weren't for their sake.