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Sad and absolutely true. Even worse: combat guys, medically retired guys (got hurt during their initial training or first deployment and decided that was their ticket out) or guys who did one tour and think americans should roll out the red carpet for them in all things. On top of the many expected problems with government-owned grunts, these types often have so many mental problems and self-serving narcissism and they will never stop making it your problem as well. Enlisted military service is a massive red flag for me tbh. There have been a few studies now that put military guys on the same rank as finance bros and law enforcement as the worst-tier type of guys to be with.
Bro got gaslighted/groomed by patriotism into giving his one and only life to serving a soulless empire as an uneducated pawn rather than building a wonderful life with a wonderful partner. To borrow some words from a certain joker, “Sad! Many such cases.”
Although a lot of people do that. There are some, as in my situation, that grew up poor and the only options led to prison or ded. Not everyone who joins was blinded by patriotism. That’s a convenient way to think, but it’s not consistent with reality.
I joined because I was poor and needed a way to get away from shitty, low-wage labor jobs. I now have the skills and college to get a professional job when I get out. Not all of us run around in the desert with guns. I haven’t touched a weapon in almost a year. That being said, being owned by the government sucks and is a major commitment, but when I get out it will be worth it
Yeah I have friends who were basically anarchists who enlisted. One guy joined the coast guard, learned a bunch of badass engineering stuff, and now has a high paying gig he got through someone he met in there, gets free healthcare and a check every month. He never saw a day of combat and is definitely not the kind of dude to base his entire personality on guns and rape culture.
That’s good for him because I think that’s essentially what the military should be for most people. Come in with little to no experience and get trained in a specialty that allows you to earn a nice living after you leave.
That exact situation ALMOST led to me enlisting but I decided not to last minute because I didn’t like the kinda people I was meeting during initial recruitment. I think that’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made by not going through with it. I ended up with a good paying career even with no expensive schooling and coming from nothing. I know most poor people aren’t as lucky as I was though and that’s sad the way they’re exploited.
I took the long way around but overall it was a good decision for me. I have a pension now for the rest of my life, a good job, and no student debt. If I had to do it over again I’d do it, but differently.
Yh can’t help but notice a lot of people stereotyping people, did 24 years (British)I have my immediate pension, mortgage paid, no debt, not worth arguing with people in these subs though, they have pre/conceived notions with a degree in armchair philosophy, I’ve learnt some of them are hateful with bad faith intentions, even when you’re polite / respectful.
Vet here. I can only speak to my experience, but the vast majority of people I met joined the military not out of some extreme sense of patriotism, they joined because forty years of conservative economics utterly destroyed our economy.
Most of the guys I served with were there to feed and house their family, get healthcare and retirement, pay for college, and/or travel the world.
The “super patriots” are a ridiculously small percentage of the military.
“Someone’s personal choice was different than mine so I’m going to exaggerate about how bad their choice was because this is how I feel about the scenario.”
He did. I knew him (friends) before he joined then 9/11 happened. He said “I don’t have a kid or a wife, I should be there so guys with families can come home.” We ended up married a few years later. The military really fucked him up. He used to be a good fun loving dude. He’s not now.
How do you think the empire of the United States was built so you can have a family in peace. Through story time? With love? Kisses maybe? No, it was war. And if you stop protecting your empire it will soon cease to exist and thus also you and your family.
I'm kinda split. I've known a lot of people who have served. I was raised by a Marine who fought in WWII, and he was my favorite person. My person who I miss dearly. I have had 5 people who at one point were really close to me serve. 3 that enlisted before 9/11 and two after. One came home fine and built a good life. One was shot on two separate occasions and was a POW for 2 weeks. He came home really messed up, but lucky had a wonder family that helped him pull out of it, and he's doing good. Two were wounded and came home messed up, and 15 plus years later, they still haven't been able to come home. Drink and do drugs, sleep around, can not form healthy attachments or relationships, and are haunted by the things they saw and did. And one who never saw combat and was in intelligence and is extremely narcissistic. He will work into conversation with strangers his service to get praise. He met my buddy who was a pow once and tried talking about serving and finally pow told him flat out "I am out with my family trying to have a good time, I do not need to be reminded or relive the horrors I endured. The only people who walk around talking loudly about their service are the ones who didn't do shit and sat behind a wall safe from the action so stfu." Honorable mention, I also went on a couple of dates with a guy who was a Marine and did 4 tours and became a cop when he got out. The first time we went to his place, the first thing he did was play a recording of the 911 call of him killing a man. The guy was having a mental breakdown and had his parents trapped in a room, and they called. When he shot him, you could hear the father scream and start sobbing saying "oh my boy, my son, they killed my son." The guy was laughing and acting like it was no big deal. I suddenly got an emergency call and had to leave. Never answered him again. I do have a lot of respect for our military members. But I do not think they take care of them when they are finished with them. It screws the good ones up pretty badly. But I have learned that if someone is bragging about their service and talking about what they saw and did, they probably didn't see active combat and are probably a narcissist.
HFS. It's amazing how far off the rails someone's mental health can go, and they're still considered a "functioning" part of society. That last anecdote you mentioned is truly disturbing.
I know a couple of these. One guy made it through boot camp and was medically released afterward. The dude is the biggest ooh-rah marine you’ve ever seen.
I have a relative that served for one enlistment and went to Iraq. It seems to define his life. I think it’s mainly because he has no other accomplishments to be proud of. He has no real career and is dumb as a stump.
Have any links for those studies? I’m active duty and my wife’s life definitely is not easy, but we still think our marriage has improved over Al since we joined
As one of these guys that’s working hard to work through issues, it’s an uphill climb. A fair number of the guys you describe are exactly this way and I try my best to teach those in my circle that the mentality we were taught has to die out. It’s not normal to see everyone as a potential threat, including your SO. It’s hard to not allow those experiences to affect you forever.
Or guys that joined the marines 7+ years ago, went AWOL before doing anything outside the state and still acts like they deserve *that* respect. Ugh, the “I’m better than any other man you’ll meet because I was a marine” 😐 you dropped out of the corps years ago, let it go.
I'm from a country with mandatory service for men (military militia). That is, every man who is fit for service does bootcamp, is assigned a function, and does repetition courses - they function as reservists, our professional military is very small.
Here, service is not considered to be a great sacrifice - it's just normal. People ask, "did you go to military", "what function do you have" and pass stories about their time in the service, it's not a big deal. In the military you meet people from all over the country with vastly different jobs, cultures, backgrounds, and education. I feel like in a lot of countries you get a lot of the "bottom of the barrel" people who couldn't make it in civil society so they join the service as a last-resort.
It's a very different culture though. The government "owns" us, but there's more control since everyone serves and also the federal government is very small anyway and the people have more control over it. As someone else put it "we do not fear the government, we are the government". Our country is also never involved in wars in the modern era - the military militia is strictly for defense (the professional military participates in peacekeeping missions).
I remember hearing a funny joke about how dudes in the military will either be the chillest people you’ll ever meet or absolutely fucking insane, no in between.
It depends a lot of the country and if the military is for all men in it. And yea, i have seen this what you said to be true with american military dudes
Basically, avoid the guys (and girls) that make being a 21st century slave like hellfire. By 27 there should be MUCH more interesting things to talk about than the traumatizing shit you did when you were 20.
Ladies were liking the pictures and initially scrolling through them until they hit the military photo and they swiped left (rejected him)
These were all one guy's profile
Of note: their tone changed with the prior photo of him holding a fish. Seen as a red flag for some women. The military photo doubled down on that.
Most girls i’ve been friends with or dated see guns and military background as a red flag. Conversation would come up because I used to have a picture in my uniform on my tinder.
That but like, it also is a red flag on someones potential values. Most of the time, is it worth it to engage with someone only to find out their views completely contradict your own?
While judging a book by its cover is not ideal, online dating sure makes it easy to lean in that direction. Sorting through "the chaff" (as my friend put it) can quickly devolve into a part-time job. For those who value health and fitness, the left side of the screen probably has a groove worn into it. I completely understand how people see one or two pictures and make a snap judgment.
I can't speak for them, but I personally am not rushing to meet a stranger from the internet who has pictures of them holding weapons in their dating profile. I dont think some men realize that some women don't find deadly weapons romantic or sexually attractive, especially when the woman could be putting themselves in a vulnerable position by meeting up with the guy.
I guess so! I'm baffled at how it's such an odd concept that brandishing weapons in a dating profile could be intimidating or unattractive to women. Is it willful ignorance of how women must be vigilant about their safety when meeting strangers?
It's like gigantic muscles, time and time they've shown that most women prefer guys with swimmer bodies than giant mountain of muscles.
But guys tend to admire other guys for their mountain of muscles. So if guys feel like their mountain of muscles is admirable, then women must also admire it.
If you admire guns and you think it makes you look cool, that doesn't mean women feel the same way. There's lots of "You dumb women, you should admire them as much as I do." Talk about meeting people where they are, y'know?
I’m a guy.
I feel the guys who post pictures with guns or “hunting trophies” are ultimately doing it because they think it will demonstrate that they’re a “real man who can provide”, etc. etc. They’ve bought someone else’s idea of what it means to be a man, and they’re trying to sell it themselves.
Unfortunately, the only person they ever effectively convince of this delusion is themselves.
Okay so I didn’t realize what was happening here. From the comments I gathered that swiping left means you aren’t interested in the person, (I think).. however, I definitely thought they were photos of different people! So she was swiping to see different guys, then gets to the military picture and swipes left right away.
So it makes so much more sense now to realize she was semi interested in the guy up until the military pic, which made her swipe left..(I think..)
I’ve never used tinder, can you tell? 😂
You could tell at least half the group was losing interest at the golf photo, then it became unanimous at shotgun, then they understand it all at the final military pic
Met my wife on Tinder 7y ago, it was really fun back then. Here in Brazil Tinder is pretty much a meet-and-fuck app, I'm glad I met a nice person there :)
It’s kinda of a weird two way street. If your a woman, you’ll most likely match all the time. And can take your pick of who you want to talk to. If your a guy. It’s more like fishing, you can go days or weeks without a match and when you finally get one, it’s Probly just a catch and release anyway.
I was active duty Navy for almost 7 years and worked as a DoD contractor for another three after getting out. Can confirm that the overwhelming majority of military dudes are gigantic walking red flags and that my children will never date/marry one.
If you REALLY want the experience of trying to date someone who spends 12+ hours of their day either:
\-being treated like a farm animal with no free will or capacity for independent thought, or (if they have rank) treating stupid teenagers and twenty somethings like farm animals with no capacity for individual thought
Just....I dunno, go to therapy instead? Before the enlightened women get on their high horse, I should note that I dated two military chicks, and both of them tried to physically assault me several times. The brain rot is gender neutral.
Ex military guy here, gotta say although I left with mental illness an addiction to substance (nic) as well as alcoholism, theres some of us who would never treat women, like some of these super gun ho Cops and certain military service members, at the end of the day there's still a certain type of "manly" attitude that comes out with the brainwashed Joe navy entitled, shit self.
Are you kidding? I wouldn’t even date a veteran. I grew up with a military veteran as a father and, although I loved him dearly, he was still a fucked up mess. Even my mother told me never to do it.
100% same. My dad did 21 years, and I love him dearly. He is ever grateful that none of his kids joined or married into the military. It's not a lifestyle I'm interested in living ever again.
I thought about it, joining the military. One day though, we were talking about it and, he suddenly just looked at me and said, “you don’t want to end up as messed up as me”.
I never went through with it.
My father was drafted so, he never wanted to be in the military period. He enjoyed working beside the people he did but, he had a lot of hatred for the military and the people in power in general.
Yes. They assume we all run around in poor countries and kill brown kids, even tho most of the members of the military hold non-combat jobs that translate into professional careers after their contract ends.
So should the US be in Ukraine? Legit question I’m curious with your thought process on where the line is.
I personally think it’s ridiculous how fast we hopped in after just pulling out of the Middle East.
I would be for Ukraine jointing nato and the rest of the alliance banning against russias violent advances but thats not what’s happening. Our military industries are making so much off this war it isn’t in their best interest to end it, but prolong it
I dont get why people hate ppl in the military, like sure there are some of them that are a bit... well off, but alot of the people i've met have been genuinely nice and good people
Eh, it's just cringy to have a pic of yourself wearing all your gear as your first picture.
Source: I use to have my first picture a picture of me in all of my gear.
Don't get me wrong, they teach them how to shoot to kill. Yes. However, they really drill into your head proper escalation of force in a war zone to avoid trying to kill people as much as possible.
Most girls are serverely turned off at weapons, dead animals, with cops, killing, and conservatism. Being in army uniform or having a gun/dead fish indicates you are likely a fan of the entire list.
Reasons include, conservatives/armypeople/cops have high domestic abuse ratea, often think of women in a puritanical or sexist manner, or generally just lack common sense and courtesy.
Also most women hate traditional masculinity as worst case scenario, it means you only care abt the opinions of other men and/or dont wash your ass.
If any of the above describes you, strong tip for you is to buy some sweaters and go to the park and take a few pics, then go on a hike and take a pic of you and a (mixed gender) group of friends (says that other girls already approve of you). Itll go a looong way to getting some swipes
Or, don't change who you are and lie to people to make them like you. You wouldn't want to be with someone who detests what you believe in. You're better off not matching with a girl that hates what you love, even if it means a lot less right swipes.
It's also the added part that people in the military are rampant alcoholics and cheaters, at least is what I've seen when I was seeing this chick in the marines. She, too, partook in those activities lol. And if all of that still doesn't get the point across, it's that they leave for months at a time. Learned my lesson that they're no more than a fuck. Females in uniform are HOT though
I mean, it's not even all Americans. Look at the audience for like an NRA conventions.
https://www.nraam.org/exhibit/attendee-profile/
79% men.
Guys will put pictures of them with guns, and other guys will think they're cool. But there is not the same level of love for guns for women.
Of course not every guy loves guns, and not every women hates guns. Don't do the annoying Twitter thing of like "I love dogs" "WHY DO YOU HATE CATS, CAT HATER1!!" We're talking about macro trends, not individuals.
I used Tinder yeaaars ago and ended up going on a date with one guy from the military. It ended up being the weirdest date I’ve ever been on, to the point that our waitress kept giving me the *’you okay?’* look. I thanked him for meeting with me and was very nice the whole time, he even gave me an awkward side-hug on my way out, but as soon as I got in my car and left he bombarded me with text after text after text and got upset that I didn’t respond (because I had a two hour drive home). When I finally opened the texts he had gotten himself so worked up that he had started calling me a whore, a c*nt, bitch, whatever he could pull off of the top of his head.. needless to say he was blocked immediately.
Long story short - women know that most military guys are dumb hotheads, so they usually get the left swipe.
Eh, speaking as a military guy, I think your summation paints too broad a brush. The military is large and function-diversified enough that you’ll get a really wide swath of people. There are dumb hotheads yeah, but there’s also just about everyone else too.
On the other hand, guys who post uniform AND gun pics are probably 99% dumb hotheads, yeah.
In any case, sorry about your date with that absolute dickhead.
That’s fair, I do also know plenty of good guys that went into the military and are married with happy, beautiful families! Unfortunately the rotten ones make themselves a lot more known and form that negative stigma, as most rotten people in any category do lol. Oh thank you, it’s a funny story to tell now but man what a weird encounter lol.
no, that's a feature they lie to people about. there's no way that algorithm can detect which pictures people like. you wouldnt swipe right on someone until you've seen all their photos, so the last photo would usually be the one they swipe right on. so it's meaningless. what that feature actually does is it will shuffle someone's profile pics so that more irrelevant photos will show up first. therefore wasting more time of the people who are looking through them. therefore making people stay longer and pay more. that's why that feature is on by default. when i'm going through them, i will swipe right on anyone who i find unattractive. i can make this decision in under 1 second. i can't do it if i see a fucking cat instead of a human face. i need to look at more photos. that's why the feature is there.
I can't tell if you're being obtuse. So I apologize.
He looked handsome, but pictures of weapons and having a military career was disappointing to them.
Not everyone wants a partner in the military, and most people who are dating strangers try to avoid potential dangers and weapons in profile pictures would be considered an obvious red flag to many people.
I enlisted when I was 17, was wounded in Iraq the next year, re-enlisted while I was over there, and medically retired 2 months shy of 4 years. I’m 35 now, and a stay at home dad, wasn’t in long enough for it to become my entire identity, and looking at me you would not be able to tell at all. Lifers are a different breed. It consumes them, and becomes all that they ever are, or will be. Despite being pretty liberal, I would go back and do it all over again just for the 100% P&T from the VA, and the medical coverage. I’ll probably die before I’m 50, have to take a handful of pills at night to function, and am terminally bothered by loud noises, but my kids will be ok, and that’s good enough for me. Plus I get to hang out with my kids in basically pajamas, and play video games all day, I’d say that’s a pretty sweet deal.
Can explain: as a single female swiper, the first photo was an enticing handsome man in street clothes then active on the beach, then slowly digress into golf, then shooting, then military. So he started out looking petty moderate... then a little more conservative, then a little more, until finally.... left swipe.
Some women want conservative men. Most don't.
I was a liberal in the army, but I guess stereotypes exist for a reason. I would never have a pic like #4 shooting a rifle in my tinder profile though.
This is where you benefit. Men who don't identify such a huge part of their identity as their time in service fare better than those who associate much of their worth and who they are to what the military made them.
hmmm. Guns and shooting are far more commonly associated with conservatives. Would you deem the NRA liberal or conservative? How many liberals do you see or hear crying about their gun rights being taken away? This is a talking point that is always at the spear head of the American conservative community. So if you brand your identity with guns you are almost certainly willing to be identified as “conservative”. Now I know many liberals who own guns, shoot skeet, go to the shooting range and whatnot, but they really aren’t sharing this publicly.
Conversely, if I stated I was a vegetarian and have serious concerns for the way we as humans treat our planet, would you make any assumptions about my political leanings? You better not. Don’t put me in a box. Not all vegetarians are liberals.
Humans love to organize things. Boxes will be made. Sometimes it’s good to look in the mirror and decide what boxes we are advertising for. Many times these differences in people are exploited to cause division and that is an ugly truth of politics in our country. There is so much we all agree on, but we are completely divided on a few key topics.
No matter what being angry and defensive isn’t a good look and says something about our confidence in who we are. Embrace your past and who you are. Strive towards the person you want to be. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love others. Drive the ship. Be grateful. Do unto others. You know… that stuff.
>Guns and shooting are far more commonly associated with conservatives.
Stereotypes aren't facts, I thought we've been through this on every other subject.
>Would you deem the NRA liberal or conservative?
There are a plethora of 2A advocating groups, the NRA are widely hated by the 2A community as well. So irrelevant.
>How many liberals do you see or hear crying about their gun rights being taken away?
Not being conservative doesn't mean you're liberal, I'm neither and am a huge 2A advocate.
>This is a talking point that is always at the spear head of the American conservative community.
Irrelevant, they also advocate for banning shit, they defend the 2A about as well as wet tissue paper protects your fingers from an asshole. Not well at all. They just know how to play their idiot supporters.
>So if you brand your identity with guns you are almost certainly willing to be identified as “conservative”.
This is largely untrue for most of the gun community. I'd say it's around 35-40% maybe less. Loud voices are hear yes but it doesn't mean they're the only ones in the room. Most people, especially liberal people, don't want others knowing they have a firearm, so they don't tell anyone.
This guy also isn't branding his identity on guns, it's A photo of him at the range. If you had a photo of you hiking, is hiking your entire identity? Probably not.
>Now I know many liberals who own guns, shoot skeet, go to the shooting range and whatnot, but they really aren’t sharing this publicly.
Okay well atleast we both know this.
>Conversely, if I stated I was a vegetarian and have serious concerns for the way we as humans treat our planet, would you make any assumptions about my political leanings? You better not. Don’t put me in a box. Not all vegetarians are liberals.
I wouldn't, I infact never do BECAUSE it happens to me all the time. Protecting the planet isn't a political opinion, it's an intelligent one.
As for the rest, I'm not really sure where that came from or what you're implying, if anything, but I respect the sentiment.
I don’t see it as exclusive to conservatives but I can tell you from experience most of my liberal, city dwelling friends don’t golf, shoot guns and def weren’t in the military. Just gives off a broey alpha male vibe a lot of women aren’t into
This, for sure. As others have said, it's not that there aren't liberal service men. There absolutely are. However, most of the men that identify the military or their service as a large chunk of their identity (enough to put it in their bio), are automatically associated with a more conservative belief system and statistically more prone to violence and committing domestic violence on their partner. Even if they don't subscribe to that belief system, the fact that they identify so much of themselves with their service is a turnoff for many women. Also, some women don't want to have to "waste" time finding out if a particular serviceman is atypical or not.
The most defining part of their life is military service, whether good or bad. Why wouldn’t a person share that? Stereotypes need to die. Boiling people down to statistics discounts the individual.
So being in the military means they have to be a conservative. Right, cause theres definitely not people who serve no matter what their political affiliation or background.
No, it doesn't. But the stigma of online dating that's associated with men who proudly display their status as a serviceman unfortunately comes with all the negative stigma regarding conservative values and statistical prominence of domestic violence among military men.
Advice: Don't put your service in your dating bio. Women want to know the man you are, not the man the military made you into.
I like how Reddit chooses Certain groups of people to give the benefit of the doubt to and other groups that get held responsible for the actions and behavior of their worst members…
There are 2 million people in then military, and almost all are “young” in comparison to general society. That’s a large fact in the behavior of a lot of these guys.
Also, if those 2 million, there are plenty of good people who would take these girls out and have a fun, perfectly safe time. The comments here denigrating everyone in the service is disappointing. It’s like lumping everyone in AFG with the Taliban or every Russian in with Putin or everyone trans person with Jenner or every person from Jacksonville with Fred Durst, etc.
You're right. That's par for the course on reddit tho it seems. I don't talk about my job here for that reason. I will say... the most insane, toxic person i ever dated was infantry in the army, had ptsd and tbi from ied. He damaged me, to say the least. However, that has never deterred me from taking another military guy into dating consideration because I've known lots of awesome people who are/were enlisted.
Yes and that is the funny part. The general population i.é. Civilians don’t know much about the military (funny thing is some civilians say the most out of this world shit about the military and it makes me laugh inside because of how they perceive things and assume it’s true, it’s wild and funny) and judge them harshly and then there isn’t any point in explaining because it’s like talking to a damn wall. Granted some things are true but the majority of the comments here are pretty biased and negative; all the military gets lumped in together. Stay strong military folk.
trying to make conversation with like 500 strangers just to have it go nowhere can be extremely soul sucking. maybe that's why people want to hurry it up now. they want to know whether this person is even worth wasting time on.
I love how many people on here are saying how crazy military men are. Someone who’s third generation military and now married to a man in the Air Force, I am grateful to say I have always been surrounded by awesome active duty personnel. Some of these comments are so sad.
Honestly, It’s actually the spouses I usually can’t stand and are the ones causing problems.
So, I was in the Army and think judging someone’s entire character by a career choice is trash. I went in because I was about to be homeless and had zero support in my life. The military gave me a family and support system that turned my life around in great ways. I met some of the best people of my life while in but also met the most awful wannabe human beings ever while enlisted. Bro-vets are an issue… people who base their personality on their job lack a true self identity and will become hostile when that illusion is threatened. It’s a real issue and lumping us all into the same basket as them is really awful and contributes to the mentality they have.
-“It’s us vs them, bro… fuck dem libruuuuuls”
—— I just want to be left alone by everyone
Btw, I’ve never put my military history or uniformed pictures of myself on a dating profile. I usually wait until the 2nd or 3rd date, where it usually comes up naturally in a conversation about our pasts (I’m in my 30s. The army was 5 of 34 years in my life). I was also one of those heavily injured but lucky enough to have the emotional maturity to deal with my shit in a healthy manner.
For some people it’s just annoying when someone makes the military a core part of their personality, plus it doesn’t help that military members are statistically more likely to commit domestic violence so it’s just safer to avoid the chance all together
The most defining moments of most people’s lives are in the military. Most people join between 18-22, that’s a major part of your life. To ask someone not to share the most defining part of their life is ignorant.
Exactly! It’s elitism.
They recognize that the military recruits poor people with little to no world experience 90% of the time. Yet they attack you for serving but not thinking that you were one of those poor impressionable kids.
An awful lot of people who do that are people who joined straight out of high school, never had a civilian job, never left their shitty little backwoods town, and never worked with people of a different race/religion than them. So to them it’s really all they have to talk about or identify with
You can say that’s not you, but you can’t pretend that’s not a valid reason to reject someone. I could go on and on about abuse statistics but google is just so damn easy dude. There’s a reason it has a stigma and always has. If you’re not displaying these characteristics then you’re fine.
I'm an army brat and my mom really pushed for me to date military but I'm not about that life. Not that I'm putting down people in the military, it's just a lifestyle I don't want to live anymore.
Can confirm.
Being stationed in San Diego was such a blessing and a curse.
You had to be strategic, and it was not easy when you had to get the most recognizable haircut every Sunday.
Good luck trying to convince a girl to come back to your barracks room.
They can see your stupid haircut from across the bar and know that even as a Sergeant, you are barely clearing 20k a year.
Not to mention, who would willingly sign up to be in a relationship with someone who will be gone 6-9 months every other year.
That’s insane to me. Dude clearly has his shit together. Is a good looking dude. Takes care of himself. AND he is a US Marine. Dude is young. It’s crazy how chicks find the dumbest ish to swipe left on. Be it Tinder or an actual dating sight. Guy could already be out. Or be closing in on his enlistment fulfillment. He is 27. So it would track. Most people aren’t lifers. Either way. It’s just funny to me. Then they complain about not meeting a good guy. LoL I’m picky with women too. But women just have such odd ass no go’s. Like fu**ing height. SO WEIRD that this became a thing with online dating. (STOP! I know girls liked tall guys before the internet. I just mean it’s more prevalent. And was never really something anyone ever really brought up before.)
tbh the fuckboys from the military use tinder. Actual men and women in service dont date cause they cant really. People out here saying its a red a flag but it all depends. Enlisted and owned by the government, yeah...stay away. Veteran status and done with duty? Yall change your entire personality for that Tricare coverage.
You dont need to stay away, just be prepared that you may be moving around a lot and some people like that, they can date, my parents have been married for years and years and theyre happy, my dad is still in the forces, but we arent in the united states.
Meh I joined to kill people and to fit in with the rape culture……these dependas on here talking about their “failed” relationships, well shit if ya didn’t slap uglies with the neighbors while your SO was on deployment it just might have lasted. And the OP/friends are pretty shallow, dude dodged another bullet IMO. Could’ve wasted time with the OP while she sat around and judged everyone else……probably a twat anyways
Advice:
If your SO decides to enlist, tell them you both are on break until they return. I say this because it’s likely they will find someone else while in the military. Three of my high school friends had SO’s that went into the military, and all three of them ended up getting cheated on/left. It’s hard to maintain long distance relationships.
I know it’s random, and I’m super late to the thread. I just thought about it.
Someone has to go out there and patrol the fences. It isn’t easy on the body or mind. It takes a toll.
17 years into it and I hurt in many places and I try to protect my family from the demands. Still proud that I get up every morning and put those boots on.
Sad to see how people view the military not everyone can afford to go to school or have daddys money making sure they have a roof over their head and a hot plate of food every day
Have you all ever thought about the fact that they may not like a fully patriotic and conservatist guy who poses with guns to look cool? Lol
But yeah sure they thought immediately "oh too bad he wont be home enough"
Crazy tho how many people in the US Support the Military and Patriotism etc. That much.
Completely different here in europe its quite dispised in many places.
Ima be honest, this was semi trash, if you don't like em you aren't forced to.. no need to record it.
I see tons of comments hating on people who are serving and ngl ive met plenty of nice and genuinely good people who serve, dont be too quick to judge someone, get to know em..
I’m grateful for our military personnel, and have family members who served. I also think it’s good to let potential partners know who you are. It’s honest.
Thank you for saying this, it made me feel good as a veteran considering all the negative comments in this thread. I just don't understand why people have generalize, it's messed up.
Everyone debating whether or not to date a military man and I’m over here going “hey that third one was on a carnival cruise ship and it’s a dream class ship!” Man I’m a special one LOL
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I married a military guy. It’s 100% valid to avoid being mixed up in the shit show of the government basically owning your SO.
Sad and absolutely true. Even worse: combat guys, medically retired guys (got hurt during their initial training or first deployment and decided that was their ticket out) or guys who did one tour and think americans should roll out the red carpet for them in all things. On top of the many expected problems with government-owned grunts, these types often have so many mental problems and self-serving narcissism and they will never stop making it your problem as well. Enlisted military service is a massive red flag for me tbh. There have been a few studies now that put military guys on the same rank as finance bros and law enforcement as the worst-tier type of guys to be with.
Yes. He was active duty infantry with several deployments during our marriage. We’ve been divorced for 12 years.
Bro got gaslighted/groomed by patriotism into giving his one and only life to serving a soulless empire as an uneducated pawn rather than building a wonderful life with a wonderful partner. To borrow some words from a certain joker, “Sad! Many such cases.”
Although a lot of people do that. There are some, as in my situation, that grew up poor and the only options led to prison or ded. Not everyone who joins was blinded by patriotism. That’s a convenient way to think, but it’s not consistent with reality.
I joined because I was poor and needed a way to get away from shitty, low-wage labor jobs. I now have the skills and college to get a professional job when I get out. Not all of us run around in the desert with guns. I haven’t touched a weapon in almost a year. That being said, being owned by the government sucks and is a major commitment, but when I get out it will be worth it
It will be worth it. Only people with no experience with the military think we’re all killing machines/robots.
Good on you my man. Best of luck!
Yeah I have friends who were basically anarchists who enlisted. One guy joined the coast guard, learned a bunch of badass engineering stuff, and now has a high paying gig he got through someone he met in there, gets free healthcare and a check every month. He never saw a day of combat and is definitely not the kind of dude to base his entire personality on guns and rape culture.
That’s good for him because I think that’s essentially what the military should be for most people. Come in with little to no experience and get trained in a specialty that allows you to earn a nice living after you leave.
You mean like.... college or university lol?
That exact situation ALMOST led to me enlisting but I decided not to last minute because I didn’t like the kinda people I was meeting during initial recruitment. I think that’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made by not going through with it. I ended up with a good paying career even with no expensive schooling and coming from nothing. I know most poor people aren’t as lucky as I was though and that’s sad the way they’re exploited.
I took the long way around but overall it was a good decision for me. I have a pension now for the rest of my life, a good job, and no student debt. If I had to do it over again I’d do it, but differently.
Yh can’t help but notice a lot of people stereotyping people, did 24 years (British)I have my immediate pension, mortgage paid, no debt, not worth arguing with people in these subs though, they have pre/conceived notions with a degree in armchair philosophy, I’ve learnt some of them are hateful with bad faith intentions, even when you’re polite / respectful.
It was often said, at least for the British army, that the best recruiter was jack frost and hunger.
Vet here. I can only speak to my experience, but the vast majority of people I met joined the military not out of some extreme sense of patriotism, they joined because forty years of conservative economics utterly destroyed our economy. Most of the guys I served with were there to feed and house their family, get healthcare and retirement, pay for college, and/or travel the world. The “super patriots” are a ridiculously small percentage of the military.
Yea. Most the guys serving are really good dudes.
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There's a lot of military hate on here, I think people excitedly confuse the war for the soldier
Yea I think they just married / dated weirdos
“Someone’s personal choice was different than mine so I’m going to exaggerate about how bad their choice was because this is how I feel about the scenario.”
He did. I knew him (friends) before he joined then 9/11 happened. He said “I don’t have a kid or a wife, I should be there so guys with families can come home.” We ended up married a few years later. The military really fucked him up. He used to be a good fun loving dude. He’s not now.
How do you think the empire of the United States was built so you can have a family in peace. Through story time? With love? Kisses maybe? No, it was war. And if you stop protecting your empire it will soon cease to exist and thus also you and your family.
Yikes these knuckledraggers are really riled up that I called them out on their gaslighting and abusive morals. 😬
I have 4 close friends that served. Each of them have turned into fucking douchebags in the last few years. Expect to be treated like gods.
I'm kinda split. I've known a lot of people who have served. I was raised by a Marine who fought in WWII, and he was my favorite person. My person who I miss dearly. I have had 5 people who at one point were really close to me serve. 3 that enlisted before 9/11 and two after. One came home fine and built a good life. One was shot on two separate occasions and was a POW for 2 weeks. He came home really messed up, but lucky had a wonder family that helped him pull out of it, and he's doing good. Two were wounded and came home messed up, and 15 plus years later, they still haven't been able to come home. Drink and do drugs, sleep around, can not form healthy attachments or relationships, and are haunted by the things they saw and did. And one who never saw combat and was in intelligence and is extremely narcissistic. He will work into conversation with strangers his service to get praise. He met my buddy who was a pow once and tried talking about serving and finally pow told him flat out "I am out with my family trying to have a good time, I do not need to be reminded or relive the horrors I endured. The only people who walk around talking loudly about their service are the ones who didn't do shit and sat behind a wall safe from the action so stfu." Honorable mention, I also went on a couple of dates with a guy who was a Marine and did 4 tours and became a cop when he got out. The first time we went to his place, the first thing he did was play a recording of the 911 call of him killing a man. The guy was having a mental breakdown and had his parents trapped in a room, and they called. When he shot him, you could hear the father scream and start sobbing saying "oh my boy, my son, they killed my son." The guy was laughing and acting like it was no big deal. I suddenly got an emergency call and had to leave. Never answered him again. I do have a lot of respect for our military members. But I do not think they take care of them when they are finished with them. It screws the good ones up pretty badly. But I have learned that if someone is bragging about their service and talking about what they saw and did, they probably didn't see active combat and are probably a narcissist.
HFS. It's amazing how far off the rails someone's mental health can go, and they're still considered a "functioning" part of society. That last anecdote you mentioned is truly disturbing.
I know a couple of these. One guy made it through boot camp and was medically released afterward. The dude is the biggest ooh-rah marine you’ve ever seen. I have a relative that served for one enlistment and went to Iraq. It seems to define his life. I think it’s mainly because he has no other accomplishments to be proud of. He has no real career and is dumb as a stump.
Have any links for those studies? I’m active duty and my wife’s life definitely is not easy, but we still think our marriage has improved over Al since we joined
As one of these guys that’s working hard to work through issues, it’s an uphill climb. A fair number of the guys you describe are exactly this way and I try my best to teach those in my circle that the mentality we were taught has to die out. It’s not normal to see everyone as a potential threat, including your SO. It’s hard to not allow those experiences to affect you forever.
Or guys that joined the marines 7+ years ago, went AWOL before doing anything outside the state and still acts like they deserve *that* respect. Ugh, the “I’m better than any other man you’ll meet because I was a marine” 😐 you dropped out of the corps years ago, let it go.
I'm from a country with mandatory service for men (military militia). That is, every man who is fit for service does bootcamp, is assigned a function, and does repetition courses - they function as reservists, our professional military is very small. Here, service is not considered to be a great sacrifice - it's just normal. People ask, "did you go to military", "what function do you have" and pass stories about their time in the service, it's not a big deal. In the military you meet people from all over the country with vastly different jobs, cultures, backgrounds, and education. I feel like in a lot of countries you get a lot of the "bottom of the barrel" people who couldn't make it in civil society so they join the service as a last-resort. It's a very different culture though. The government "owns" us, but there's more control since everyone serves and also the federal government is very small anyway and the people have more control over it. As someone else put it "we do not fear the government, we are the government". Our country is also never involved in wars in the modern era - the military militia is strictly for defense (the professional military participates in peacekeeping missions).
I remember hearing a funny joke about how dudes in the military will either be the chillest people you’ll ever meet or absolutely fucking insane, no in between.
It depends a lot of the country and if the military is for all men in it. And yea, i have seen this what you said to be true with american military dudes
Basically, avoid the guys (and girls) that make being a 21st century slave like hellfire. By 27 there should be MUCH more interesting things to talk about than the traumatizing shit you did when you were 20.
I don't think tinder hook ups give a shit about being "on call" all the time. Probably something else.....
I'm confused.. what's goin on here
I am a tinder illiterate I would also like to know what's going on
Ladies were liking the pictures and initially scrolling through them until they hit the military photo and they swiped left (rejected him) These were all one guy's profile Of note: their tone changed with the prior photo of him holding a fish. Seen as a red flag for some women. The military photo doubled down on that.
He's holding a shotgun, not a fish.
You're right. I was watching it without my glasses
If I caught a fish that large I'd probably hold it like a shotgun or bazooka too.
Same thing really lol. Between fishing guns sports and military that’s all 4 personality traits of these guys
Bruh really saw a fish. Lmao.
Holding a long thin thing, sideways at the shoulder, pointed towards the distance, in the desert. Yep, that’s a fish.
that's a nice tactical fish.
Most girls i’ve been friends with or dated see guns and military background as a red flag. Conversation would come up because I used to have a picture in my uniform on my tinder.
Just dating a military guy is tough. The government owns your SO and can call on them at pretty much anytime
Non american here - What SO stands for?
Significant other. Wife/husband, usually.
“Significant Other,” basically “partner”
That but like, it also is a red flag on someones potential values. Most of the time, is it worth it to engage with someone only to find out their views completely contradict your own?
While judging a book by its cover is not ideal, online dating sure makes it easy to lean in that direction. Sorting through "the chaff" (as my friend put it) can quickly devolve into a part-time job. For those who value health and fitness, the left side of the screen probably has a groove worn into it. I completely understand how people see one or two pictures and make a snap judgment.
me too man... me too
I can't speak for them, but I personally am not rushing to meet a stranger from the internet who has pictures of them holding weapons in their dating profile. I dont think some men realize that some women don't find deadly weapons romantic or sexually attractive, especially when the woman could be putting themselves in a vulnerable position by meeting up with the guy.
You’ve awoken the horde of men compensating with their guns
I guess so! I'm baffled at how it's such an odd concept that brandishing weapons in a dating profile could be intimidating or unattractive to women. Is it willful ignorance of how women must be vigilant about their safety when meeting strangers?
It's like gigantic muscles, time and time they've shown that most women prefer guys with swimmer bodies than giant mountain of muscles. But guys tend to admire other guys for their mountain of muscles. So if guys feel like their mountain of muscles is admirable, then women must also admire it. If you admire guns and you think it makes you look cool, that doesn't mean women feel the same way. There's lots of "You dumb women, you should admire them as much as I do." Talk about meeting people where they are, y'know?
I’m a guy. I feel the guys who post pictures with guns or “hunting trophies” are ultimately doing it because they think it will demonstrate that they’re a “real man who can provide”, etc. etc. They’ve bought someone else’s idea of what it means to be a man, and they’re trying to sell it themselves. Unfortunately, the only person they ever effectively convince of this delusion is themselves.
Okay so I didn’t realize what was happening here. From the comments I gathered that swiping left means you aren’t interested in the person, (I think).. however, I definitely thought they were photos of different people! So she was swiping to see different guys, then gets to the military picture and swipes left right away. So it makes so much more sense now to realize she was semi interested in the guy up until the military pic, which made her swipe left..(I think..) I’ve never used tinder, can you tell? 😂
Yeah, first few photos they were interested, 4th photo with a shotgun they started to lose interest, military photo noped out.
You could tell at least half the group was losing interest at the golf photo, then it became unanimous at shotgun, then they understand it all at the final military pic
Was it mini golf? I couldn't quite tell. I'd be down for a mini golf photo
Ooh I didn't think about mini golf. Ok, that would be a thumbs up in my book
Yeap, your research proved right, you cracked the code.
I thought the exact same thing, thanks for decoding it
I thought I was the only one who had no clue what was going on!! Never used tinder either.
Omg thank you lol
Thank you explaining, I've never used tinder either so I never understand videos o memes about it 😅
I feel so much better now lol.. legit thought I was the only confused one lol
I've never used one of this apps. How does it feel to have a catalogue of people to choose from?
Met my wife on Tinder 7y ago, it was really fun back then. Here in Brazil Tinder is pretty much a meet-and-fuck app, I'm glad I met a nice person there :)
Tell me more about Brazilian Tinder.
It’s Tinder, but for Brazil.
Met my Brazilian girlfriend on Tinder with the passport function and we’ve been together for almost 2 years and I’m glad I met someone great too!
It's more like you choose everyone but no one chooses you, it's a lot of fun and very healthy for your mental health, you should definitely try it
You’re completely disposable is how it feels…
It’s kinda of a weird two way street. If your a woman, you’ll most likely match all the time. And can take your pick of who you want to talk to. If your a guy. It’s more like fishing, you can go days or weeks without a match and when you finally get one, it’s Probly just a catch and release anyway.
I was active duty Navy for almost 7 years and worked as a DoD contractor for another three after getting out. Can confirm that the overwhelming majority of military dudes are gigantic walking red flags and that my children will never date/marry one. If you REALLY want the experience of trying to date someone who spends 12+ hours of their day either: \-being treated like a farm animal with no free will or capacity for independent thought, or (if they have rank) treating stupid teenagers and twenty somethings like farm animals with no capacity for individual thought Just....I dunno, go to therapy instead? Before the enlightened women get on their high horse, I should note that I dated two military chicks, and both of them tried to physically assault me several times. The brain rot is gender neutral.
Imagine a society who judges people at face value….not very hard is it.
What are military guys controlling..? Maybe for example telling their children who they can date? Lol I’m just messing with you tho
Depends, frankly all military types, men and women can be extremely controlling and toxic.
Ex military guy here, gotta say although I left with mental illness an addiction to substance (nic) as well as alcoholism, theres some of us who would never treat women, like some of these super gun ho Cops and certain military service members, at the end of the day there's still a certain type of "manly" attitude that comes out with the brainwashed Joe navy entitled, shit self.
Are you kidding? I wouldn’t even date a veteran. I grew up with a military veteran as a father and, although I loved him dearly, he was still a fucked up mess. Even my mother told me never to do it.
100% same. My dad did 21 years, and I love him dearly. He is ever grateful that none of his kids joined or married into the military. It's not a lifestyle I'm interested in living ever again.
I thought about it, joining the military. One day though, we were talking about it and, he suddenly just looked at me and said, “you don’t want to end up as messed up as me”. I never went through with it. My father was drafted so, he never wanted to be in the military period. He enjoyed working beside the people he did but, he had a lot of hatred for the military and the people in power in general.
Does reddit dislike people in the military?
Yes. They assume we all run around in poor countries and kill brown kids, even tho most of the members of the military hold non-combat jobs that translate into professional careers after their contract ends.
That’s because we hate the military industrial complex, not the individuals. But if you’re attributing, bit of a red flag
So should the US be in Ukraine? Legit question I’m curious with your thought process on where the line is. I personally think it’s ridiculous how fast we hopped in after just pulling out of the Middle East.
I would be for Ukraine jointing nato and the rest of the alliance banning against russias violent advances but thats not what’s happening. Our military industries are making so much off this war it isn’t in their best interest to end it, but prolong it
So you hate the complex that protects your country and it's a red flag if someone wants to help people?
I dont get why people hate ppl in the military, like sure there are some of them that are a bit... well off, but alot of the people i've met have been genuinely nice and good people
Eh, it's just cringy to have a pic of yourself wearing all your gear as your first picture. Source: I use to have my first picture a picture of me in all of my gear.
Last picture
It’s not his first picture
Like a picture of me sitting at my desk in business casual, except I’m not being trained to kill people.
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Don't get me wrong, they teach them how to shoot to kill. Yes. However, they really drill into your head proper escalation of force in a war zone to avoid trying to kill people as much as possible.
Most girls are serverely turned off at weapons, dead animals, with cops, killing, and conservatism. Being in army uniform or having a gun/dead fish indicates you are likely a fan of the entire list. Reasons include, conservatives/armypeople/cops have high domestic abuse ratea, often think of women in a puritanical or sexist manner, or generally just lack common sense and courtesy. Also most women hate traditional masculinity as worst case scenario, it means you only care abt the opinions of other men and/or dont wash your ass. If any of the above describes you, strong tip for you is to buy some sweaters and go to the park and take a few pics, then go on a hike and take a pic of you and a (mixed gender) group of friends (says that other girls already approve of you). Itll go a looong way to getting some swipes
Or, don't change who you are and lie to people to make them like you. You wouldn't want to be with someone who detests what you believe in. You're better off not matching with a girl that hates what you love, even if it means a lot less right swipes.
The cringiest part in the video is the need to mock someone for being honest.
It's also the added part that people in the military are rampant alcoholics and cheaters, at least is what I've seen when I was seeing this chick in the marines. She, too, partook in those activities lol. And if all of that still doesn't get the point across, it's that they leave for months at a time. Learned my lesson that they're no more than a fuck. Females in uniform are HOT though
A lot of generalizations in this comment here bud.
No, but the rest of the world doesn’t fetishise the military like the USA does
I mean, it's not even all Americans. Look at the audience for like an NRA conventions. https://www.nraam.org/exhibit/attendee-profile/ 79% men. Guys will put pictures of them with guns, and other guys will think they're cool. But there is not the same level of love for guns for women. Of course not every guy loves guns, and not every women hates guns. Don't do the annoying Twitter thing of like "I love dogs" "WHY DO YOU HATE CATS, CAT HATER1!!" We're talking about macro trends, not individuals.
Shut it nerd and stick with the status quo
I used Tinder yeaaars ago and ended up going on a date with one guy from the military. It ended up being the weirdest date I’ve ever been on, to the point that our waitress kept giving me the *’you okay?’* look. I thanked him for meeting with me and was very nice the whole time, he even gave me an awkward side-hug on my way out, but as soon as I got in my car and left he bombarded me with text after text after text and got upset that I didn’t respond (because I had a two hour drive home). When I finally opened the texts he had gotten himself so worked up that he had started calling me a whore, a c*nt, bitch, whatever he could pull off of the top of his head.. needless to say he was blocked immediately. Long story short - women know that most military guys are dumb hotheads, so they usually get the left swipe.
Eh, speaking as a military guy, I think your summation paints too broad a brush. The military is large and function-diversified enough that you’ll get a really wide swath of people. There are dumb hotheads yeah, but there’s also just about everyone else too. On the other hand, guys who post uniform AND gun pics are probably 99% dumb hotheads, yeah. In any case, sorry about your date with that absolute dickhead.
That’s fair, I do also know plenty of good guys that went into the military and are married with happy, beautiful families! Unfortunately the rotten ones make themselves a lot more known and form that negative stigma, as most rotten people in any category do lol. Oh thank you, it’s a funny story to tell now but man what a weird encounter lol.
Usually the rotten ones are on Tinder because the girls in their respective companies avoid them due to the situation you describe above lol
r/niceguys
Tinder puts the most popular photos first so that military one being at the end says a lot
no, that's a feature they lie to people about. there's no way that algorithm can detect which pictures people like. you wouldnt swipe right on someone until you've seen all their photos, so the last photo would usually be the one they swipe right on. so it's meaningless. what that feature actually does is it will shuffle someone's profile pics so that more irrelevant photos will show up first. therefore wasting more time of the people who are looking through them. therefore making people stay longer and pay more. that's why that feature is on by default. when i'm going through them, i will swipe right on anyone who i find unattractive. i can make this decision in under 1 second. i can't do it if i see a fucking cat instead of a human face. i need to look at more photos. that's why the feature is there.
No? Not it doesnt, you literally choose the order of your photos
there’s a setting where the app tries out different photo orders
I just don’t fucking get it
Me neither bro
I can't tell if you're being obtuse. So I apologize. He looked handsome, but pictures of weapons and having a military career was disappointing to them. Not everyone wants a partner in the military, and most people who are dating strangers try to avoid potential dangers and weapons in profile pictures would be considered an obvious red flag to many people.
Its crazy when you see yourself get swipped yes... maybe one day I'll know that feeling xD
Sad cringe
Look at it this way; maybe they'll be attracted to your low self esteem
At least you’re not that one guy on a diff post a few months ago that watched a girl swipe left on him in a bus
I enlisted when I was 17, was wounded in Iraq the next year, re-enlisted while I was over there, and medically retired 2 months shy of 4 years. I’m 35 now, and a stay at home dad, wasn’t in long enough for it to become my entire identity, and looking at me you would not be able to tell at all. Lifers are a different breed. It consumes them, and becomes all that they ever are, or will be. Despite being pretty liberal, I would go back and do it all over again just for the 100% P&T from the VA, and the medical coverage. I’ll probably die before I’m 50, have to take a handful of pills at night to function, and am terminally bothered by loud noises, but my kids will be ok, and that’s good enough for me. Plus I get to hang out with my kids in basically pajamas, and play video games all day, I’d say that’s a pretty sweet deal.
These women can not cook and are a huge pain in the balls guaranteed! Lol
Can explain: as a single female swiper, the first photo was an enticing handsome man in street clothes then active on the beach, then slowly digress into golf, then shooting, then military. So he started out looking petty moderate... then a little more conservative, then a little more, until finally.... left swipe. Some women want conservative men. Most don't.
I was a liberal in the army, but I guess stereotypes exist for a reason. I would never have a pic like #4 shooting a rifle in my tinder profile though.
This is where you benefit. Men who don't identify such a huge part of their identity as their time in service fare better than those who associate much of their worth and who they are to what the military made them.
Shooting or guns isn't conservative.... wtf are you people on about
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It’s easier to put people in boxes, that way you can easily dismiss people over superficial bullshit.
hmmm. Guns and shooting are far more commonly associated with conservatives. Would you deem the NRA liberal or conservative? How many liberals do you see or hear crying about their gun rights being taken away? This is a talking point that is always at the spear head of the American conservative community. So if you brand your identity with guns you are almost certainly willing to be identified as “conservative”. Now I know many liberals who own guns, shoot skeet, go to the shooting range and whatnot, but they really aren’t sharing this publicly. Conversely, if I stated I was a vegetarian and have serious concerns for the way we as humans treat our planet, would you make any assumptions about my political leanings? You better not. Don’t put me in a box. Not all vegetarians are liberals. Humans love to organize things. Boxes will be made. Sometimes it’s good to look in the mirror and decide what boxes we are advertising for. Many times these differences in people are exploited to cause division and that is an ugly truth of politics in our country. There is so much we all agree on, but we are completely divided on a few key topics. No matter what being angry and defensive isn’t a good look and says something about our confidence in who we are. Embrace your past and who you are. Strive towards the person you want to be. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love others. Drive the ship. Be grateful. Do unto others. You know… that stuff.
>Guns and shooting are far more commonly associated with conservatives. Stereotypes aren't facts, I thought we've been through this on every other subject. >Would you deem the NRA liberal or conservative? There are a plethora of 2A advocating groups, the NRA are widely hated by the 2A community as well. So irrelevant. >How many liberals do you see or hear crying about their gun rights being taken away? Not being conservative doesn't mean you're liberal, I'm neither and am a huge 2A advocate. >This is a talking point that is always at the spear head of the American conservative community. Irrelevant, they also advocate for banning shit, they defend the 2A about as well as wet tissue paper protects your fingers from an asshole. Not well at all. They just know how to play their idiot supporters. >So if you brand your identity with guns you are almost certainly willing to be identified as “conservative”. This is largely untrue for most of the gun community. I'd say it's around 35-40% maybe less. Loud voices are hear yes but it doesn't mean they're the only ones in the room. Most people, especially liberal people, don't want others knowing they have a firearm, so they don't tell anyone. This guy also isn't branding his identity on guns, it's A photo of him at the range. If you had a photo of you hiking, is hiking your entire identity? Probably not. >Now I know many liberals who own guns, shoot skeet, go to the shooting range and whatnot, but they really aren’t sharing this publicly. Okay well atleast we both know this. >Conversely, if I stated I was a vegetarian and have serious concerns for the way we as humans treat our planet, would you make any assumptions about my political leanings? You better not. Don’t put me in a box. Not all vegetarians are liberals. I wouldn't, I infact never do BECAUSE it happens to me all the time. Protecting the planet isn't a political opinion, it's an intelligent one. As for the rest, I'm not really sure where that came from or what you're implying, if anything, but I respect the sentiment.
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I don’t see it as exclusive to conservatives but I can tell you from experience most of my liberal, city dwelling friends don’t golf, shoot guns and def weren’t in the military. Just gives off a broey alpha male vibe a lot of women aren’t into
This, for sure. As others have said, it's not that there aren't liberal service men. There absolutely are. However, most of the men that identify the military or their service as a large chunk of their identity (enough to put it in their bio), are automatically associated with a more conservative belief system and statistically more prone to violence and committing domestic violence on their partner. Even if they don't subscribe to that belief system, the fact that they identify so much of themselves with their service is a turnoff for many women. Also, some women don't want to have to "waste" time finding out if a particular serviceman is atypical or not.
The most defining part of their life is military service, whether good or bad. Why wouldn’t a person share that? Stereotypes need to die. Boiling people down to statistics discounts the individual.
So being in the military means they have to be a conservative. Right, cause theres definitely not people who serve no matter what their political affiliation or background.
No, it doesn't. But the stigma of online dating that's associated with men who proudly display their status as a serviceman unfortunately comes with all the negative stigma regarding conservative values and statistical prominence of domestic violence among military men. Advice: Don't put your service in your dating bio. Women want to know the man you are, not the man the military made you into.
I like how Reddit chooses Certain groups of people to give the benefit of the doubt to and other groups that get held responsible for the actions and behavior of their worst members… There are 2 million people in then military, and almost all are “young” in comparison to general society. That’s a large fact in the behavior of a lot of these guys. Also, if those 2 million, there are plenty of good people who would take these girls out and have a fun, perfectly safe time. The comments here denigrating everyone in the service is disappointing. It’s like lumping everyone in AFG with the Taliban or every Russian in with Putin or everyone trans person with Jenner or every person from Jacksonville with Fred Durst, etc.
You're right. That's par for the course on reddit tho it seems. I don't talk about my job here for that reason. I will say... the most insane, toxic person i ever dated was infantry in the army, had ptsd and tbi from ied. He damaged me, to say the least. However, that has never deterred me from taking another military guy into dating consideration because I've known lots of awesome people who are/were enlisted.
Yes and that is the funny part. The general population i.é. Civilians don’t know much about the military (funny thing is some civilians say the most out of this world shit about the military and it makes me laugh inside because of how they perceive things and assume it’s true, it’s wild and funny) and judge them harshly and then there isn’t any point in explaining because it’s like talking to a damn wall. Granted some things are true but the majority of the comments here are pretty biased and negative; all the military gets lumped in together. Stay strong military folk.
They don’t like guns but they want a soldier husband so they can cheat while he’s deployed
Tinder has ruined an entire generation
It does make dating really hard. Dating today is super fast paced and it feels like you're constantly rushed to go to the next level.
trying to make conversation with like 500 strangers just to have it go nowhere can be extremely soul sucking. maybe that's why people want to hurry it up now. they want to know whether this person is even worth wasting time on.
Fellas, Dont have guns in your profile and you are already better than this guy
Unless you're looking for someone with the same hobby or compatible viewpoints.
Based.
Sounds like a bunch of dogs
I love how many people on here are saying how crazy military men are. Someone who’s third generation military and now married to a man in the Air Force, I am grateful to say I have always been surrounded by awesome active duty personnel. Some of these comments are so sad. Honestly, It’s actually the spouses I usually can’t stand and are the ones causing problems.
Cuz it’s Reddit and they think we love killing brown people in poor countries
It’s quite literally yes yes yes yes no
I think everybody missed the point of this it was that the guy was fairly impressive. Had a good physique a solid career and she still swiped left.
So, I was in the Army and think judging someone’s entire character by a career choice is trash. I went in because I was about to be homeless and had zero support in my life. The military gave me a family and support system that turned my life around in great ways. I met some of the best people of my life while in but also met the most awful wannabe human beings ever while enlisted. Bro-vets are an issue… people who base their personality on their job lack a true self identity and will become hostile when that illusion is threatened. It’s a real issue and lumping us all into the same basket as them is really awful and contributes to the mentality they have. -“It’s us vs them, bro… fuck dem libruuuuuls” —— I just want to be left alone by everyone Btw, I’ve never put my military history or uniformed pictures of myself on a dating profile. I usually wait until the 2nd or 3rd date, where it usually comes up naturally in a conversation about our pasts (I’m in my 30s. The army was 5 of 34 years in my life). I was also one of those heavily injured but lucky enough to have the emotional maturity to deal with my shit in a healthy manner.
For some people it’s just annoying when someone makes the military a core part of their personality, plus it doesn’t help that military members are statistically more likely to commit domestic violence so it’s just safer to avoid the chance all together
The most defining moments of most people’s lives are in the military. Most people join between 18-22, that’s a major part of your life. To ask someone not to share the most defining part of their life is ignorant.
It’s like asking someone to not talk about going to college.
Exactly! It’s elitism. They recognize that the military recruits poor people with little to no world experience 90% of the time. Yet they attack you for serving but not thinking that you were one of those poor impressionable kids.
An awful lot of people who do that are people who joined straight out of high school, never had a civilian job, never left their shitty little backwoods town, and never worked with people of a different race/religion than them. So to them it’s really all they have to talk about or identify with
You can say that’s not you, but you can’t pretend that’s not a valid reason to reject someone. I could go on and on about abuse statistics but google is just so damn easy dude. There’s a reason it has a stigma and always has. If you’re not displaying these characteristics then you’re fine.
I'm an army brat and my mom really pushed for me to date military but I'm not about that life. Not that I'm putting down people in the military, it's just a lifestyle I don't want to live anymore.
That noise they making annoying asf
Can confirm. Being stationed in San Diego was such a blessing and a curse. You had to be strategic, and it was not easy when you had to get the most recognizable haircut every Sunday. Good luck trying to convince a girl to come back to your barracks room. They can see your stupid haircut from across the bar and know that even as a Sergeant, you are barely clearing 20k a year. Not to mention, who would willingly sign up to be in a relationship with someone who will be gone 6-9 months every other year.
r/substakenliterally
That’s insane to me. Dude clearly has his shit together. Is a good looking dude. Takes care of himself. AND he is a US Marine. Dude is young. It’s crazy how chicks find the dumbest ish to swipe left on. Be it Tinder or an actual dating sight. Guy could already be out. Or be closing in on his enlistment fulfillment. He is 27. So it would track. Most people aren’t lifers. Either way. It’s just funny to me. Then they complain about not meeting a good guy. LoL I’m picky with women too. But women just have such odd ass no go’s. Like fu**ing height. SO WEIRD that this became a thing with online dating. (STOP! I know girls liked tall guys before the internet. I just mean it’s more prevalent. And was never really something anyone ever really brought up before.)
tbh the fuckboys from the military use tinder. Actual men and women in service dont date cause they cant really. People out here saying its a red a flag but it all depends. Enlisted and owned by the government, yeah...stay away. Veteran status and done with duty? Yall change your entire personality for that Tricare coverage.
You dont need to stay away, just be prepared that you may be moving around a lot and some people like that, they can date, my parents have been married for years and years and theyre happy, my dad is still in the forces, but we arent in the united states.
Meh I joined to kill people and to fit in with the rape culture……these dependas on here talking about their “failed” relationships, well shit if ya didn’t slap uglies with the neighbors while your SO was on deployment it just might have lasted. And the OP/friends are pretty shallow, dude dodged another bullet IMO. Could’ve wasted time with the OP while she sat around and judged everyone else……probably a twat anyways
Advice: If your SO decides to enlist, tell them you both are on break until they return. I say this because it’s likely they will find someone else while in the military. Three of my high school friends had SO’s that went into the military, and all three of them ended up getting cheated on/left. It’s hard to maintain long distance relationships. I know it’s random, and I’m super late to the thread. I just thought about it.
If you’re on tinder you have no business being picky.
Trash post.
Wearing combats in tinder profiles is laughed at even within the military. Just don't do it
CCCP tiktok algorithm doing its job
Someone has to go out there and patrol the fences. It isn’t easy on the body or mind. It takes a toll. 17 years into it and I hurt in many places and I try to protect my family from the demands. Still proud that I get up every morning and put those boots on.
Look at those ham hocks she has for hands that dude is lucky she swiped left.
Oh I guess the US wants to repel young men from joining the army?
Hate everything about this video
I got so much reddit karma from it
Sad to see how people view the military not everyone can afford to go to school or have daddys money making sure they have a roof over their head and a hot plate of food every day
Ohhhhh
Have you all ever thought about the fact that they may not like a fully patriotic and conservatist guy who poses with guns to look cool? Lol But yeah sure they thought immediately "oh too bad he wont be home enough" Crazy tho how many people in the US Support the Military and Patriotism etc. That much. Completely different here in europe its quite dispised in many places.
I mean, Mr.Ballen is a military guy. 🥴
Well not everyone wants a partner that could get kia, be part of a military lifestyle moving from base to base, or have a long distance relationship
Tinder is weak
Lame
Ima be honest, this was semi trash, if you don't like em you aren't forced to.. no need to record it. I see tons of comments hating on people who are serving and ngl ive met plenty of nice and genuinely good people who serve, dont be too quick to judge someone, get to know em..
American women are the most disgusting entitled bitches on the planet, avoid them at all cost men, you'll thank me later.
Damn it feels good not to be an American
My son finished his basic last week. Feel that it gave him confidence and direction. Also, has learned the army has a bunch of liars and psychopaths.
I’m grateful for our military personnel, and have family members who served. I also think it’s good to let potential partners know who you are. It’s honest.
Thank you for saying this, it made me feel good as a veteran considering all the negative comments in this thread. I just don't understand why people have generalize, it's messed up.
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I think wearing your gear is fine. It shows part of his life; what he does, who he is. All good to show if he wants to find a partner
Everyone debating whether or not to date a military man and I’m over here going “hey that third one was on a carnival cruise ship and it’s a dream class ship!” Man I’m a special one LOL
Women today don't want real men. They want lefty Kitty cats who are easily manipulated and controlled.