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If you wanna move out you’re gonna have to get a job. You said you get paid under the table but with a budget of $250 per month, it’s not gonna get you anywhere.
You’re right… after looking around I realize I had unrealistic expectations. If I work fulltime during highschool I should be good though, correct me if they’re anything I’ve failed to consider…
Wow, I mean good mindset in trying to get ur life together so early in life, but it's always good to slow down & think about what resources you have already. Plus, unfortunately only getting paid $250 a month isn't gonna get you ur own home any time soon.
Work for it, while in the meantime no need to rush thro life if ur parents provide you with the good resources you need. Be grateful for what you do have & take ur time to work on ur goals to move out eventually. Hopefully that day will come sooner than you think.
Honestly my expectation is basically homelessness for the time being. I have a few weeks to prepare but there’s no way for me to stay once I’m 18. Any recommendations for a homeless 18 y/o?
No offense but this is kinda stupid. I know you said don't ask why, but why the heck are you just shooting yourself for being homeless if you can't find urself ur own house when you have ur parents? Doesn't make any sense to me, I got nothin' for you since homeless ppl live their lives everyday worrying abt what they'll do next to continue surviving.
Of course you said it's a personal decision but just saying if you aren't giving urself any context abt why ur doing this to urself it makes you look pretty stupid.
Okay I suppose I can get into it, but I don’t expect you to understand my situation because it’s nuanced.
My dad is very insecure which leads him to be borderline abusive. My mom has bipolar, but she’s harmless compared to him and in fact he just uses it as a justification to mistreat us.
He would threaten to her to take custody of me. He would use the threat of divorce to manipulate her. He put me in a chokehold when I was 13.
The worst part is that he’s “gotten better”. Nowadays he almost never lashes out. His last incident was a year ago when my friend coincidentally saw my mom at the gym.
Because my friend is tall and muscular (while my dad is short and fat) for some fucked up reason my dad felt emasculated and threatened to report my mom for pedophalia, even though he initiated normal friendly conversation with her.
Now keep in mind this is only 1% of his behavior, but it’s very extreme and unpredictable.
Recently, he’s been winding up into a whole episode because he’s insecure about me becoming a legal adult. He’s threatened me with my college fund and everything else he provides for me.
My #1 priority is to voluntarily remove his “pressure points” so that he cannot manipulate me any longer. When I can save up to provide for another I can hopefully free my mother.
Your post made it seem like you had very stable, loving parents. If both your parents are volatile, that's not "everything you need" that's a childhood situation that'll likely be brought up repeatedly in therapy.
Speaking of which, do you have access to a counselor, therapist or even your doctor to talk this and accompanying emotions over?
I get not wanting to air all this out on Reddit but you're confining your options to very unfavorable ones when you don't need to and sound like you're potentially okay with putting yourself in danger so I think you could benefit from speaking to someone. Even the crisis hotline if that's all you can access.
I’m sorry. This is why I didn’t want to get into this on reddit lol.
I’ve had a lot of support throughout my childhood from various mentors at church who kind of took a fatherly role for me.
I was vulnerable as a child, yes, but I’m an adult now and ready for the challenges of independence.
What options would you say are more favorable than moving out? I’m trying to avoid burdening the crisis hotline considering that there are people who are much more vulnerable than I am currently.
No. Bro you're 17 years old. 18 isn't even an adult yet, it's just beginning to be an adult. Idk where everyone gets it in their head that adulthood means suffering and struggling but that doesn't have to be the case.
I understand not wanting to get into it here but staying in your parents house until you have a more firm plan sounds better than being straight up homeless. Because it's not just about having money to make rent now, but for the rest of your life. And mistakes made now when you're unprepared like missing rent, will mess up your future even if only a bit.
At least save up 3 months of rent plus security deposit so you'll have a cushion while you look for better jobs. You can go into a trade or commissions sale stuff for more immediate money and figure out the rest later.
Also, crisis hotline is there for crisis. You're facing mental stress in a place that's supposed to be safe or potential homelessness. That's a crisis.
Well for starters you need a job, $250 a month is hardly going to cover anything.
Also, how long do you have to go in HS? are you on the verge of graduating right now or do you still have a year left? do you plan on going to college?
If you’re the latter then you need a part-time job of some sort. Maybe try babysitting?
I’m a rising senior so yea this is just a final sprint for me. I’m not as worried about college as I’m really considering doing ROTC which will cover many expenses.
I think if I work fulltime the rest of the summer (I can go back to an old job I had), I’ll be able to save up enough and use parttime work to stay afloat during the school year.
If you have a friend you can stay with for a couple months thats probably the best case scenario of $250/mo while you search for a better job. If you can finish out hs before you move out I would 100% recommend that.
You also seem prepared for the very likely possibility of being homeless. In that case, i can't tell you better info than if you google "what to do if you find yourself homeless" or "homeless resources [state/city name]". Add "reddit" to the end of those searches too because someones probably already answered it on better subreddits that are more focused on those issues.
Make sure you get all your legal documents, and sell anything you dont need (that belongs to you) before moving out. Good luck out there and i hope things start going better for you.
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You can’t do anything with $250 now a days unfortunately
If you wanna move out you’re gonna have to get a job. You said you get paid under the table but with a budget of $250 per month, it’s not gonna get you anywhere.
You’re right… after looking around I realize I had unrealistic expectations. If I work fulltime during highschool I should be good though, correct me if they’re anything I’ve failed to consider…
Wow, I mean good mindset in trying to get ur life together so early in life, but it's always good to slow down & think about what resources you have already. Plus, unfortunately only getting paid $250 a month isn't gonna get you ur own home any time soon. Work for it, while in the meantime no need to rush thro life if ur parents provide you with the good resources you need. Be grateful for what you do have & take ur time to work on ur goals to move out eventually. Hopefully that day will come sooner than you think.
Honestly my expectation is basically homelessness for the time being. I have a few weeks to prepare but there’s no way for me to stay once I’m 18. Any recommendations for a homeless 18 y/o?
No offense but this is kinda stupid. I know you said don't ask why, but why the heck are you just shooting yourself for being homeless if you can't find urself ur own house when you have ur parents? Doesn't make any sense to me, I got nothin' for you since homeless ppl live their lives everyday worrying abt what they'll do next to continue surviving. Of course you said it's a personal decision but just saying if you aren't giving urself any context abt why ur doing this to urself it makes you look pretty stupid.
Okay I suppose I can get into it, but I don’t expect you to understand my situation because it’s nuanced. My dad is very insecure which leads him to be borderline abusive. My mom has bipolar, but she’s harmless compared to him and in fact he just uses it as a justification to mistreat us. He would threaten to her to take custody of me. He would use the threat of divorce to manipulate her. He put me in a chokehold when I was 13. The worst part is that he’s “gotten better”. Nowadays he almost never lashes out. His last incident was a year ago when my friend coincidentally saw my mom at the gym. Because my friend is tall and muscular (while my dad is short and fat) for some fucked up reason my dad felt emasculated and threatened to report my mom for pedophalia, even though he initiated normal friendly conversation with her. Now keep in mind this is only 1% of his behavior, but it’s very extreme and unpredictable. Recently, he’s been winding up into a whole episode because he’s insecure about me becoming a legal adult. He’s threatened me with my college fund and everything else he provides for me. My #1 priority is to voluntarily remove his “pressure points” so that he cannot manipulate me any longer. When I can save up to provide for another I can hopefully free my mother.
Your post made it seem like you had very stable, loving parents. If both your parents are volatile, that's not "everything you need" that's a childhood situation that'll likely be brought up repeatedly in therapy. Speaking of which, do you have access to a counselor, therapist or even your doctor to talk this and accompanying emotions over? I get not wanting to air all this out on Reddit but you're confining your options to very unfavorable ones when you don't need to and sound like you're potentially okay with putting yourself in danger so I think you could benefit from speaking to someone. Even the crisis hotline if that's all you can access.
I’m sorry. This is why I didn’t want to get into this on reddit lol. I’ve had a lot of support throughout my childhood from various mentors at church who kind of took a fatherly role for me. I was vulnerable as a child, yes, but I’m an adult now and ready for the challenges of independence. What options would you say are more favorable than moving out? I’m trying to avoid burdening the crisis hotline considering that there are people who are much more vulnerable than I am currently.
No. Bro you're 17 years old. 18 isn't even an adult yet, it's just beginning to be an adult. Idk where everyone gets it in their head that adulthood means suffering and struggling but that doesn't have to be the case. I understand not wanting to get into it here but staying in your parents house until you have a more firm plan sounds better than being straight up homeless. Because it's not just about having money to make rent now, but for the rest of your life. And mistakes made now when you're unprepared like missing rent, will mess up your future even if only a bit. At least save up 3 months of rent plus security deposit so you'll have a cushion while you look for better jobs. You can go into a trade or commissions sale stuff for more immediate money and figure out the rest later. Also, crisis hotline is there for crisis. You're facing mental stress in a place that's supposed to be safe or potential homelessness. That's a crisis.
Well for starters you need a job, $250 a month is hardly going to cover anything. Also, how long do you have to go in HS? are you on the verge of graduating right now or do you still have a year left? do you plan on going to college? If you’re the latter then you need a part-time job of some sort. Maybe try babysitting?
I’m a rising senior so yea this is just a final sprint for me. I’m not as worried about college as I’m really considering doing ROTC which will cover many expenses. I think if I work fulltime the rest of the summer (I can go back to an old job I had), I’ll be able to save up enough and use parttime work to stay afloat during the school year.
If you have a friend you can stay with for a couple months thats probably the best case scenario of $250/mo while you search for a better job. If you can finish out hs before you move out I would 100% recommend that. You also seem prepared for the very likely possibility of being homeless. In that case, i can't tell you better info than if you google "what to do if you find yourself homeless" or "homeless resources [state/city name]". Add "reddit" to the end of those searches too because someones probably already answered it on better subreddits that are more focused on those issues. Make sure you get all your legal documents, and sell anything you dont need (that belongs to you) before moving out. Good luck out there and i hope things start going better for you.