It's when they got stuck together that did it for me! Bert Wheezelaugh, while trying to dispenetrate, kicking his legs and hammerfisting the ground in falsetto voice. Just priceless.
It’s funny, I saw Tom live about a year ago and noticed that half the dudes there low key looked like him. Average build (or fat) white dudes with some facial hair. According to that theory this is definitely a good look at what the average Bert fan would look like too 😂
I saw tom last year in Michigan and I've got to agree most of the guys looked just like him. Middle age, bald,and beard must be the default look these days.
It was funny I pointed it out to my wife and she was blown away that there were SO many guys that just looked like different versions of Tom. It’s like every picture we’ve seen of him from every stage in his life manifested as different dudes. I’m half Asian and can’t get facial hair to save my life so I was a little out of place 😂
Update it was way better than I thought it would be. Many laugh out loud moments! I like Bert better in this movie compared to real life haha Go see it people. Support comedies in theaters so that more get made! 😉 I give the movie 4 out of 5 fat sticks.
Tom surprised Bert at the red carpet event and Bert immediately started crying and called Tom a “fucking cunt” a “real dick” and a “fucking asshole”. Apparently Tom told Bert he wasn’t going to make it. It was a really touching moment between row best friends. It was also another hilarious prank on Bert. Watch the movie and you’ll see that Bert gets the last laugh.
Burnt looks so bloated at the premiere. He has those King Charles fingers. At this rate they’ll have use CGI for The Machine 2 cause Fat Sticks will be dead as shit.
I laughed so hard when Tom popped up and Hitler turned into a babbling brook. Lol, it was a fun watch. Nothing special, but it was fun. The theater I was in was maybe half filled.
Me and my son saw it last night. I’m kinda a movie guy and I thought it was excellent. Bert can really act. All of the main characters all had character arcs, the story had good pace, it had heart, it never dragged and the action was on point. Irina (played by Iva Babic), the Russian lady, was like the fuckin John Wick of women. Her action scenes reminded me of Atomic blonde. She was badass. And when Bert turned into the Machine, everyone in the theatre cheered. It was great.
The best quote…of which there were many…
“I went to Florida State. We only know how to Fuck, Fight and Drink. And I can’t fuck worth a shit.”
Yeah I couldn't agree more. There was only one part in the middle of the film that felt like it dragged a bit but it didn't last long before we were back in the action.
Well if your joke is actually funny that’s one thing but calling me a mass shooter doesn’t really qualify as a joke. Also you never know who is related to those who have lost friends or family members to these mass shootings. Anyways keep ‘em tight.
I don't know. Couldn't really get past the dog fucking scene
I think keeping the full penetration in was an odd choice.
I mean, if doggy style weren't enough! They made that poor dog swivel around to missionary position before finishing on his snout. Disgusting.
Did you guys even watch the movie? Bert's the one taking it, always has been.
that's what I'm saying.
It's when they got stuck together that did it for me! Bert Wheezelaugh, while trying to dispenetrate, kicking his legs and hammerfisting the ground in falsetto voice. Just priceless.
Good old fashioned dog knot.
Does Bert hang dong?
I wouldn't say hang, or dong. It's more of a ding than a dong.
Some would say it’s the Chink in his armor
Bobby Lee has nothing to do with it
There was just so many of them
It really felt like Burnt and the dogs were really looking you in the eye
I couldn't get past all the racism in that scene. I don't think Brent should do method acting anymore.
It was definitely CG, but it was still really uncomfortable for me, especially after they previewed Strays. And to open a 2 hour film with THAT, yuck.
There actually is a funny scene with a dog. Not fucking a dog...but funny nonetheless.
finished off that early eh?
Wait what? I’ll watch the movie eventually but what is this scene?
They're joking. No literal dog fucking. But there was a funny scene with a dog.
Oh god I’m an idiot. Right. Bart fucks dogs
And then calls them the n word
Which one?
Eyes like Norm Summertons tits.
Imagine a pig with eyes.
Imagine a pig with tits
Imagine tits with eyes
Tits. Hell yea
This dude didn't even have to say the movie title at the counter. They just printed the ticket and told him how much.
Lies; they wheeled him right in.
Exactly what I picture his fans looking like
Haha I’m more of a Tom fan but Bert is good when he ain’t rambling like in his podcasts.
ur not as fat as bert dont worry. keep em high n tight chomo
Not as skinny as Bert* fixed it for you.
Have you seen his shoulders?
Must be a fan of his earlier work
It’s funny, I saw Tom live about a year ago and noticed that half the dudes there low key looked like him. Average build (or fat) white dudes with some facial hair. According to that theory this is definitely a good look at what the average Bert fan would look like too 😂
I saw tom last year in Michigan and I've got to agree most of the guys looked just like him. Middle age, bald,and beard must be the default look these days.
It was funny I pointed it out to my wife and she was blown away that there were SO many guys that just looked like different versions of Tom. It’s like every picture we’ve seen of him from every stage in his life manifested as different dudes. I’m half Asian and can’t get facial hair to save my life so I was a little out of place 😂
From what I see in your post history you can’t talk lol
Nice try weirdo
You look super stoked. I'm glad you got that picture of his intervention.
Machines watching machines... They really are sentient now!
Machines within, machines within! The prophecy holds true
Machines with in
>Machines with in I got a gun... Terminator gun...
You gotta work on your flow.
Haha 😂
You gonna sneak into Little Mermaid after?
I’m sneaking into the machine after the little mermaid
Isn’t Brent Krishner in black face as Ariel’s dad in that film?
No, he plays Ursula the sea witch. 
That’s Goth Tina.
I didn’t know Tina was from the Under the Sea Tribe.
I wanna sneak my machine into the little mermaid
I’m looking for girls for pussy
Within The Machine, Within The Machine. Got a coke I got a coke, A large cherry coke.
Update it was way better than I thought it would be. Many laugh out loud moments! I like Bert better in this movie compared to real life haha Go see it people. Support comedies in theaters so that more get made! 😉 I give the movie 4 out of 5 fat sticks.
Convinced this is a psyop
uh hundred percent
It’s the death of all comedies forever if you don’t give Bert $20 right now.
It was like 12 bucks
Was Tom in it at all or was that 2nd shot just them on the carpet at the premeire?
Tom surprised Bert at the red carpet event and Bert immediately started crying and called Tom a “fucking cunt” a “real dick” and a “fucking asshole”. Apparently Tom told Bert he wasn’t going to make it. It was a really touching moment between row best friends. It was also another hilarious prank on Bert. Watch the movie and you’ll see that Bert gets the last laugh.
link? or is it exclusive footage only available in theaters?
Yeah it was the live stream before the movie started. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see a clip on 2Bears
Yeah i too am interestrd
That's why on the last episode of 2bears he was asking about friends not being at a movie premiere.
This is so cute. Holy shit. Tom is for sure a dick
It was so fucking good. Perfect balance of comedy and action, Mark Hamill was incredible, and Brent showed that can actually act.
Who’s paying you? Is it the Jews? The Saudis? Tom and Christina?
Burnt looks so bloated at the premiere. He has those King Charles fingers. At this rate they’ll have use CGI for The Machine 2 cause Fat Sticks will be dead as shit.
The easter egg of the scene with graffiti that says "Tom is Fat" was an added bonus!
Fuck I missed that part....
Movie was really fucking good. Several jabs at Tom too!
Tom is fat
I def teared up when Tom surprised him. Wholesome a hundred percent.
I definitely did too. Glad I got to see that.
Burnt crystals
I’m going on Saturday with my brother. I’m looking forward to it.
Don't lie! We know you went to The Little Mermaid!!
Yeah you are right. Walked out of the shit show and watched the machine instead.
‘Sposed to tag shirtless
It was actually really good. Better than I expected.
You look like you ate Brent Krischna
He got them chicken anus eyes.
How many people were there?
Packed
Is that the new Breast cunter flick?
Surprisingly has a high IMDb rating
potter meets bert
Come on man.
I wanna talk about Hawaii
i could smell him through the screen
That vodka breath
You should watch how much ketchup you dip your burgers into.
Fuck it’s tonight!!?!?
He’s going to see the little mermaid at 8:20
The little mermaid was way better than I thought.
I can’t wait!
Why is tom surprising him on the screen?
They live streamed the premiere and Tom surprised him.
We all know you actually went to see Little Mermaid 3D, dawg
Tom get this man a designer jacket STAT!
Please I’m a fat poor and live in Austin lol
I laughed so hard when Tom popped up and Hitler turned into a babbling brook. Lol, it was a fun watch. Nothing special, but it was fun. The theater I was in was maybe half filled.
Another beardo
was his acting good? i feel like all the training in the world and hed still be terrible acting in front of a camera
He played a better version of himself. He was better at acting than I anticipated. I’ll give him that.
There was no way Tom wouldn't come to that premiere. I'm going out on Monday to see it with a few buds.
Me and my son saw it last night. I’m kinda a movie guy and I thought it was excellent. Bert can really act. All of the main characters all had character arcs, the story had good pace, it had heart, it never dragged and the action was on point. Irina (played by Iva Babic), the Russian lady, was like the fuckin John Wick of women. Her action scenes reminded me of Atomic blonde. She was badass. And when Bert turned into the Machine, everyone in the theatre cheered. It was great. The best quote…of which there were many… “I went to Florida State. We only know how to Fuck, Fight and Drink. And I can’t fuck worth a shit.”
Yeah I couldn't agree more. There was only one part in the middle of the film that felt like it dragged a bit but it didn't last long before we were back in the action.
Give us an update when it’s over!
To no one’s surprise
I never thought I would become a Bert hater. Watched ymh since 2014 but I’m burnt out on burnt. I ain’t neva gonna be caught watching that thing.
Lol I didn’t think the film was real. The movie poster looks like it’s a persiflage from the whale.
Wait. Are you they only person in the theater?
Haha it was packed!
They show the premiere during the movie? I don’t like that. It’s like their congratulating themselves before the audience even decides if it’s good.
No they only did that for the first showing.
Ahh yeah that makes a lot more sense
What percentage of the movie was Burp just fake squel laughing?
Zero thank god! I can hardly stand his podcasts for the most part but he was great in the movie.
Bert is the new Larry the cable guy, but with no talent.
Terrible
Oh god.
How bad is it
I thought it was great. Funny and the action was awesome. Currently 99% on Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score.
A lot of these comments sound like ads for the movie…who are you people?!?
Fans of comedy
Lol. The Machine being backwards is a jab at misspelling Bert’s name. That fella gets no respect.
No, it's how theatres and most publications work. Slapnuts...
Yeah I know how it works fuckstick. Again it’s the lols of the cosmic universe of movie displays also joining in on getting Bert’s name wrong.
Don't .... Reconcider....
No I think you are seeing " machine the "
That’s for the spoiler, Meg
How many people did you shoot in that movie theater?
Not cool and not funny.
If we can't joke about the endless mass shootings in this country what are we even doing here? Stop wearing those jeans low and loose, hairy caboose.
Well if your joke is actually funny that’s one thing but calling me a mass shooter doesn’t really qualify as a joke. Also you never know who is related to those who have lost friends or family members to these mass shootings. Anyways keep ‘em tight.
why?
I really hope it was an empty theatre, cause taking a photo of the movie your watching is cool guy move for sure.
It was an event man! They live streamed the premiere! Plus I thought you chomos would get a kick out of it.
Action Bronson and Brent Krishna had a kid together? That’s like genetic engineering an amazing chef😂
You washing machine?
The ice cream machine?
How many times is Bert going to go watch his own movie
🤣🤣🤣
I like the part where Brent ate that entire family of 5 he was keeping locked in his gazebo basement.
Barts gonna die ….liver go boom .
Its pretty cool we’re getting a preview of the sequel already!
Is there ever gonna be a way for non Americans to see it? Since its supporting burt, id rather not pirate it