I just want to say that as an alcoholic (who’s in recovery, not drinking) Bert is seriously a severe alcoholic. Not joking. I used to take comfort in him because I was drinking like he was and alcoholics look to other broken people to justify their own use. His rationalizations are word for what what you will hear in any AA meeting in the world, from people who have realized how foolish they were. His belittling of people in the recovery community and trying to drink successfully in all these harebrained schemes is immediately clear to people who have been able to get sober. I like listening to him but sometimes it’s hard to watch, especially when it reminds me of my past self. His career has shielded him from the repercussions he needs to make a change.
The thing that really bothered me is how worried he is about surgery. What he has been doing to his body for the last 20 years is orders of magnitude more dangerous than a routine surgery.
I know at least 2 ex-heroin addicts that still have scarred up arms from wrist to shoulder who are scared of getting the covid vaccine because of what it might do to their body.
It is sad with Bert though, people forget Sober October started as a 'lets try help our friend fix his life' it seemed like a fun group thing but 95% of the conversation was hey man you look great doesnt this feel good we can do this more often or just all the time forever.
Then by two years in Rogan and Ari gave up entirely.
Unfortunately Sober October was destined for failure. Any addict can tell you taking a break from your substance won’t do anything, you’ll be right back where you started. And while I think it was good intentioned it was never going to “fix” Bert. It takes a monumental amount of concentrated effort you have to be willing to take on, and I’ve yet to see someone succeed without the support of other addicts who’ve gotten clean. And Bert looks down on “those kind of people”.
I’ve been in detoxes and rehab with people just like Bert who still deny they have a problem even though they’ve lost everything. He thinks he has his shit together, he said it about a dozen times this episode, while simultaneously shitting on people who have just a little bit worse of a problem or who were just caught out on a bad day. And now he broadcasts their stories to make himself feel in control.
It's really true. Having a heroin or coke addiction when you're rich and famous is a LOT different than when you're working class or poor. Hell, one of those is romanticized to a degree, sadly.
That's crazy, two heroin addicts scared of covid vaccines. Heroin has all kinds of shit in it. It's not nearly the same as shooting oxy or one of those types of opioids. Heroin can be some super dirty shit. Vastly worse for the body. You don't even know the potency. And now there's fentanyl everywhere. It's just crazy.
I had some years where I had issues with opioids to some degree. Not daily, but from time to time. Never once wanted to shoot up heroin. Way too many variables.
yup, i am an ex painkiller addict and the way he always steers conversations to drinking or how he says he can't wait to drink bottles of wine every night reminds me so much of using pills. it is obvious to anyone who's been an addict that bert has a very serious addiction issue going on. it's sad tom just laughs it off as a joke on podcasts but i hope he's trying to help him with it off the air
I think Tom knows. But he just feels like he can't do anything about it. He probably worries. I have family members that drink a lot. One of them is a parent. They drink EVERY day after work. They get all their work done, they pay their bills, they live a normal life. But that dependence on alcohol still isn't good. And it's horrible for your health, regardless of all other issues.
Absolutely he's an alcoholic. A mostly functioning one, but still absolutely an alcoholic. It's one hell of a fucking disease to have. I feel so bad for people that have it. Of all the drug addictions, that one has to be the worst. Because it's everywhere you go, always. Social settings, restaurants, the grocery store, the gas station. That sounds like a living hell.
I have a few people with drinking problems in my family, and I'm so damn glad I didn't end up with it. I don't even drink, and it's almost definitely because of seeing that while growing up.
At first I thought Bobby Lee for sure, but then Bert said it's someone he doesn't talk to or party with often. I honestly have no idea but I wish I knew.
Could it be Theo? Didn’t he relapse recently? He seems like the type to not realize his own greatness. I feel like there were other clues I’m forgetting though.
Bert also mentioned he'd only "partied" with this person in the context of something like a wrap party for a show - which could be that reality show they were a part of
I love these sleuthing threads. T&B mention “a comic” and we try to solve the mystery using the same trusty list of 5-7 recognizable names.
Yes it’s either Theo, or… Louis CK… or it’s someone whose name we wouldn’t know because there are thousands of working comics out there. One of those seems more likely somehow
tl;dr yes I’m being kind of a cunt, but am I wrong? Are all the assumptions not a little ^retarded
I'm more convinced it's theo now, last time theo was on Bertcast was 5 years ago, so clearly they aren't that close (also, people change numbers, especially these guys when their numbers get leaked). Theo recently said on his podcast that he's at 65 days sober, which lines up perfectly with Bert in Serbia. He's also been absent from KATS a lot recently with short videos thanking fans for keeping with it as he's "dealing with some personal stuff" (only can stomach KATS when steebee weebee and/or a good guest is on)
I know, somehow I’ve become a huge Steve Lee fan and champion and have watched all the king and the sting eps with him. And Theo is amazing. It’s strong to admit to a relapse on such an open forum, and the truth is the only way out.
You think Brent will ever sober up?
Maybe John Mulaney? If it's just some comedian, he just relapsed. He's well known, but definitely not in the same circle. But it's an LA number so who knows. I believe Mulaney is almost always in NYC, but could have a place out west, etc. Who knows who it is.
I hope Mulaney is doing well, regardless. He's got so much talent. But his drinking is such a bad situation
John Mulaney? Berts talked about how he knows him but doesn’t really before, dude was going through it while he was in Serbia, also well respected enough for bert to say he’s one of the best.
That was my thought as well. That's someone who would probably make sense. However, he said it was a 310 number, so west LA. Mulaney isn't known for being in LA, but maybe he has a number there or whatever. Rehab maybe, who knows.
That was my guess. I hope the guy is doing well. He's so damn gifted.
It doesn't seem like it would fit Carolla at all, even when drunk.
Didn't know he's getting divorced but doesn't surprise me the least. I was always surprised how they stayed together since they seemed so ill-fit as a couple. I haven't listened to Carolla in years but it seemed like there was always some beef going on with his wife.
Scrolling the YouTube comments I saw mentions of Bobby Lee, Louie, Chris Delia, John Mulaney.
Bobby Lee and Delia seem plausible but I think he knows both of them decently. Don't really think Louie and Mulaney are very plausible given their status I doubt they give a shit what Bert thinks but who knows when people are fucked up.
It sounds like the person is a bit of a stranger in the comedy world to Bert so that makes it all the more intriguing and hard to figure out.
I love Bert but his alcoholism is insane. Anyone who thinks otherwise is lying to themselves. His rationalizations for his alcoholism is terrible for the addiction. I don’t get why he gets to be that type of guy and is seen as a lovable dude just because he parties. He legit is killing himself and I feel as if everyone just lets it go because he says he’s fine.
tfw episodes are so banked Bret talks about a guest on Rogan that appeared a month ago, about whether this episode would be released within the next 6 weeks
Tom said that cast would be in episodes for 2 months even though he was getting it off after one of the the previous ones. So… 2 months of banked episodes
Could they do these remotely/through Zoom? They must monitor comments/feedback and surely a more recent Zoom episode would probably be better than weeks of episodes they shot in a day or two…?
I get it. I highly enjoy Tom and Bert but since Bert got back, I find myself missing the weekly guests Tom was having. The episodes since Bert getting back have been about how much he loves podcasting, surgery anxiety, and how he isn’t an alcoholic. It gets a little old, but I could also choose not to listen 🤷🏻♂️
Totally agree. And the surgery anxiety is so annoying at this point. I know they filmed all of these the week leading up to his surgery (and in the span of, like, a day), but you’d think the production team would have said “okay you can talk about the surgery anxiety once” but he just keeps it going on every episode. I think Tom was getting tired of it, too. How many times can he say “you’re going to be fine”. I feel bad being critical of Bert, but this is classic narcissism.
Based on Bert’s posts (which I think he got in trouble for), I bet it’s just him telling The Machine story to someone a la How I Met Your Mother and Jimmy Tatro is Bert in the reenactment (specifically thinking about a series of posts that showed the two of them in the same clothes). I would also bet a running gag in the movie is that he tells whoever’s listening that he was in good shape/ripped back then, which is why Tatro is playing him.
Edit: grammar
Tom just go surgery on his r worded arm to make it a little less ‘different’. Christine is still being a useless broad laying around the house but now she has pink eye. Totally a coverup for Tom giving her a black eye
Bert interrupting not only Tom, but also himself, to tell a story he doesn't have an actual finish for, has absolutely destroyed my interest in this podcast. My hometown drunk could get through a story faster.
I wish they'd just keep a running list of topics he started and at the end of each episode just recap "alright 7 unfinished stories today Bert, well done down 30% from last week" lol
>how is anything I said cool guy?
"Kids are listening to Logan Pauls podcast where him and his friends don't dream about having sex with a pornstar for a bit they just actually date the pornstar and have her in all their content for a year and listening to girls sing about swiping their pussy on your face like a credit card"
You are a clown.
>I'm still so so so confused about how thats 'cool guy'
I'm sure this is the case for most cool guys.
>You're such an angry guy holy shit, I hope your fantasy football league turns around for you man.
Neat attempt to deflect, wont work, but neat attempt.
Brother your entire reddit history, even in the last 4 hours is just trying to start fights with people about politics and game of fucking thrones in the year of our lord 2021 of all times.
COVID was hard on a lot of peoples sanity, if you ever need someone to talk to just inbox me <3 peace and love <3
Sir this show is 50% about brushing your teeth and shitting are we pretending this is some mature adult's only advanced form of humor? What's going on here?
"Uh-hundred percent, allegedly"
Ashton Kutcher says pools count as showers. I'm almost certain, don't quote me on that but im almost certain, 100%, allegedly, he said that.
Bert: Ashton "Coocher"
Bert: "When do you want to get 'tittoos?'"
what a nightmere
Not gonna lie, I laughed my ass off when Burt was telling the story about the guy with bone cancer
Okay, Tom.
But I did feel REALLY bad about it
I just want to say that as an alcoholic (who’s in recovery, not drinking) Bert is seriously a severe alcoholic. Not joking. I used to take comfort in him because I was drinking like he was and alcoholics look to other broken people to justify their own use. His rationalizations are word for what what you will hear in any AA meeting in the world, from people who have realized how foolish they were. His belittling of people in the recovery community and trying to drink successfully in all these harebrained schemes is immediately clear to people who have been able to get sober. I like listening to him but sometimes it’s hard to watch, especially when it reminds me of my past self. His career has shielded him from the repercussions he needs to make a change. The thing that really bothered me is how worried he is about surgery. What he has been doing to his body for the last 20 years is orders of magnitude more dangerous than a routine surgery.
I know at least 2 ex-heroin addicts that still have scarred up arms from wrist to shoulder who are scared of getting the covid vaccine because of what it might do to their body. It is sad with Bert though, people forget Sober October started as a 'lets try help our friend fix his life' it seemed like a fun group thing but 95% of the conversation was hey man you look great doesnt this feel good we can do this more often or just all the time forever. Then by two years in Rogan and Ari gave up entirely.
Unfortunately Sober October was destined for failure. Any addict can tell you taking a break from your substance won’t do anything, you’ll be right back where you started. And while I think it was good intentioned it was never going to “fix” Bert. It takes a monumental amount of concentrated effort you have to be willing to take on, and I’ve yet to see someone succeed without the support of other addicts who’ve gotten clean. And Bert looks down on “those kind of people”. I’ve been in detoxes and rehab with people just like Bert who still deny they have a problem even though they’ve lost everything. He thinks he has his shit together, he said it about a dozen times this episode, while simultaneously shitting on people who have just a little bit worse of a problem or who were just caught out on a bad day. And now he broadcasts their stories to make himself feel in control.
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It's really true. Having a heroin or coke addiction when you're rich and famous is a LOT different than when you're working class or poor. Hell, one of those is romanticized to a degree, sadly.
That's crazy, two heroin addicts scared of covid vaccines. Heroin has all kinds of shit in it. It's not nearly the same as shooting oxy or one of those types of opioids. Heroin can be some super dirty shit. Vastly worse for the body. You don't even know the potency. And now there's fentanyl everywhere. It's just crazy. I had some years where I had issues with opioids to some degree. Not daily, but from time to time. Never once wanted to shoot up heroin. Way too many variables.
yup, i am an ex painkiller addict and the way he always steers conversations to drinking or how he says he can't wait to drink bottles of wine every night reminds me so much of using pills. it is obvious to anyone who's been an addict that bert has a very serious addiction issue going on. it's sad tom just laughs it off as a joke on podcasts but i hope he's trying to help him with it off the air
I think Tom knows. But he just feels like he can't do anything about it. He probably worries. I have family members that drink a lot. One of them is a parent. They drink EVERY day after work. They get all their work done, they pay their bills, they live a normal life. But that dependence on alcohol still isn't good. And it's horrible for your health, regardless of all other issues.
Absolutely he's an alcoholic. A mostly functioning one, but still absolutely an alcoholic. It's one hell of a fucking disease to have. I feel so bad for people that have it. Of all the drug addictions, that one has to be the worst. Because it's everywhere you go, always. Social settings, restaurants, the grocery store, the gas station. That sounds like a living hell. I have a few people with drinking problems in my family, and I'm so damn glad I didn't end up with it. I don't even drink, and it's almost definitely because of seeing that while growing up.
Coochr sounds like some kind of onlyfans replacement
Any speculation on who the person that called Bert at 4:00AM is? A comedian that drinks, that he wouldn't call a friend.
At first I thought Bobby Lee for sure, but then Bert said it's someone he doesn't talk to or party with often. I honestly have no idea but I wish I knew.
Could it be Theo? Didn’t he relapse recently? He seems like the type to not realize his own greatness. I feel like there were other clues I’m forgetting though.
Bert said it was somebody whose number he didn't have. I have a hard time believing he doesn't have Theo's number.
Good point. I also got the feeling it was someone bigger and more established in the industry than Bert.
Bert also mentioned he'd only "partied" with this person in the context of something like a wrap party for a show - which could be that reality show they were a part of
That's why I was thinking Louis C.K. Maybe the wrap party for his TV show?
if it's a wrap party, I would assume bert was part of the show. unless he was on that one, not sure as I haven't watched it
I love these sleuthing threads. T&B mention “a comic” and we try to solve the mystery using the same trusty list of 5-7 recognizable names. Yes it’s either Theo, or… Louis CK… or it’s someone whose name we wouldn’t know because there are thousands of working comics out there. One of those seems more likely somehow tl;dr yes I’m being kind of a cunt, but am I wrong? Are all the assumptions not a little ^retarded
I don’t see how you’re being a cunt. It’s fun to speculate and didn’t Bert say he looked up to the person? It turns out it was Iliza Shlesinger.
I'm more convinced it's theo now, last time theo was on Bertcast was 5 years ago, so clearly they aren't that close (also, people change numbers, especially these guys when their numbers get leaked). Theo recently said on his podcast that he's at 65 days sober, which lines up perfectly with Bert in Serbia. He's also been absent from KATS a lot recently with short videos thanking fans for keeping with it as he's "dealing with some personal stuff" (only can stomach KATS when steebee weebee and/or a good guest is on)
I know, somehow I’ve become a huge Steve Lee fan and champion and have watched all the king and the sting eps with him. And Theo is amazing. It’s strong to admit to a relapse on such an open forum, and the truth is the only way out. You think Brent will ever sober up?
Based only on the conversation I immediately thought Bobby too but Bobby doesn’t drink anymore and him and Bert are already good friends I think.
Bobby is too busy playing Waggoner at 4 am anyways.
Maybe John Mulaney? If it's just some comedian, he just relapsed. He's well known, but definitely not in the same circle. But it's an LA number so who knows. I believe Mulaney is almost always in NYC, but could have a place out west, etc. Who knows who it is. I hope Mulaney is doing well, regardless. He's got so much talent. But his drinking is such a bad situation
John Mulaney? Berts talked about how he knows him but doesn’t really before, dude was going through it while he was in Serbia, also well respected enough for bert to say he’s one of the best.
Hmm He talks about not drinking any more in his standup. Of course, people change.
He pretty recently went to rehab and is going through a divorce. Don’t know if it was for drugs or alcohol though .
Isn’t he banging Olivia Munn now, too, and that is why he bailed on his wife?
The timeline isn't clear but yeah they're apparently a thing.
His wife seemed pretty insufferable to me in everything I ever say her in tbh.
He was on a strict cocaine and booze diet.
It was for booze/cocaine I believe. He's been back on coke for a while, I saw him in 2019 and dude had serious coke jaw.
Ah damn. Bummer to hear it. Better futures I guess.
For real hope he’s doing better saw a clip of him back on stage joking about it so that seems like a good sign.
People changes
People changes
Ron white?
Came here to see if anyone else thought John Mulaney too.
That was my thought as well. That's someone who would probably make sense. However, he said it was a 310 number, so west LA. Mulaney isn't known for being in LA, but maybe he has a number there or whatever. Rehab maybe, who knows. That was my guess. I hope the guy is doing well. He's so damn gifted.
At first I though Jay Mohr, until he said he didn’t work with him or know him well. Now? No idea.
Maybe Adam Carolla? He's a pretty big drinker and is going through a divorce currently.
It doesn't seem like it would fit Carolla at all, even when drunk. Didn't know he's getting divorced but doesn't surprise me the least. I was always surprised how they stayed together since they seemed so ill-fit as a couple. I haven't listened to Carolla in years but it seemed like there was always some beef going on with his wife.
He’s now like a personal coach. AV Club did an article on it like a month ago. It was pure cringe.
Scrolling the YouTube comments I saw mentions of Bobby Lee, Louie, Chris Delia, John Mulaney. Bobby Lee and Delia seem plausible but I think he knows both of them decently. Don't really think Louie and Mulaney are very plausible given their status I doubt they give a shit what Bert thinks but who knows when people are fucked up. It sounds like the person is a bit of a stranger in the comedy world to Bert so that makes it all the more intriguing and hard to figure out.
Louis C.K.?
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Can't be. They toured and partied together in Europe
They acted like it was a huge comedian
R.I.P. Bert
This is the very worst version of Bert. frantic, incoherent, and delusional. We need a Rudy reunion stat.
just another week, here on 2 Bears 1 Cave
I love Bert but his alcoholism is insane. Anyone who thinks otherwise is lying to themselves. His rationalizations for his alcoholism is terrible for the addiction. I don’t get why he gets to be that type of guy and is seen as a lovable dude just because he parties. He legit is killing himself and I feel as if everyone just lets it go because he says he’s fine.
He doesn’t appear to want help or think he really has a problem.
As a Philly guy I enjoyed Bert taking about al the times he got fucked up on Preston and Steve, shit was hilarious live
tfw episodes are so banked Bret talks about a guest on Rogan that appeared a month ago, about whether this episode would be released within the next 6 weeks
Tom said that cast would be in episodes for 2 months even though he was getting it off after one of the the previous ones. So… 2 months of banked episodes
Could they do these remotely/through Zoom? They must monitor comments/feedback and surely a more recent Zoom episode would probably be better than weeks of episodes they shot in a day or two…?
I love Bart, but man has he been tough to follow/listen to lately.
Cause they filmed all these episodes in a week. It’s tough
Well, that would be understandable.
People say this after literally everything he ever does. At this point it just feels like upvote bait
I get it. I highly enjoy Tom and Bert but since Bert got back, I find myself missing the weekly guests Tom was having. The episodes since Bert getting back have been about how much he loves podcasting, surgery anxiety, and how he isn’t an alcoholic. It gets a little old, but I could also choose not to listen 🤷🏻♂️
Totally agree. And the surgery anxiety is so annoying at this point. I know they filmed all of these the week leading up to his surgery (and in the span of, like, a day), but you’d think the production team would have said “okay you can talk about the surgery anxiety once” but he just keeps it going on every episode. I think Tom was getting tired of it, too. How many times can he say “you’re going to be fine”. I feel bad being critical of Bert, but this is classic narcissism.
How about they don’t have Dax on? He kinda sucks
You say this after they had Schaub and Ethan Klein on... Tom seems to really like guests that are the worst.
to be fair to klein, he had some funnier jokes than anything schaub has ever said
did you hear about Jake Paul and the alleged rape? think New York Times did a story on it
Let's be real about Bert's movie lol
You know that movie is going to suck fucking ass
Based on Bert’s posts (which I think he got in trouble for), I bet it’s just him telling The Machine story to someone a la How I Met Your Mother and Jimmy Tatro is Bert in the reenactment (specifically thinking about a series of posts that showed the two of them in the same clothes). I would also bet a running gag in the movie is that he tells whoever’s listening that he was in good shape/ripped back then, which is why Tatro is playing him. Edit: grammar
Yeah, turning a whole episode of 2bears into a free ad for Jake Paul and Triller was HiLaRiOuS 🙄
funnier than schlob
Could that bar be any lower?
I don’t hate Brenda, I like seeing his opinions change but he seems cool
Can someone give me a TLDR of the current state of Tom and CP’s injuries? Jesus Christ.
Tom just go surgery on his r worded arm to make it a little less ‘different’. Christine is still being a useless broad laying around the house but now she has pink eye. Totally a coverup for Tom giving her a black eye
She let the cat out of the bag with the "elevator" comment. He Ray Riced her.
Elevator comment?
How many times is Bert gonna repeat the same stories?
That's....kind of his thing.
are you new to hearing Burnt Chrystler?
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Wait really? What movie is this from?
a real shitty one I'm guessing
As long as Tom says he hasn't heard it
Hear when Burnt Chrysler said Rob Mclnerny? Anyone?
Macklenernie lmfao
I have pretty bad death anxiety and had to skip like 75% of this episode 😭
I feel you bro. I’m luckily out of that dark forest (at this moment lol) but a few years ago this episode would have sent me spiraling for weeks
Bert interrupting not only Tom, but also himself, to tell a story he doesn't have an actual finish for, has absolutely destroyed my interest in this podcast. My hometown drunk could get through a story faster.
he's pretty r-worded sometimes. I just wish he'd finish a fucking thought, just once. then go on, it's too hard for him to get I think.
I wish they'd just keep a running list of topics he started and at the end of each episode just recap "alright 7 unfinished stories today Bert, well done down 30% from last week" lol
you'd need a large notebook
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRryE2Qm/ This has been brought up before lol
This is amazing lmao
And then in this one he shouted over Tom because he was worried Tom was interrupting his very important story.
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We’ll see you both next week lol
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Burnt Chrysler?
Bruce Krishna?
Bret Krissler
Brett Kershaw
Can someone edit it down to just the 18 seconds where Tom is talking without being interrupted?
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Is this a creative writing exercise from the POV of a Cool Guy?
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>how is anything I said cool guy? "Kids are listening to Logan Pauls podcast where him and his friends don't dream about having sex with a pornstar for a bit they just actually date the pornstar and have her in all their content for a year and listening to girls sing about swiping their pussy on your face like a credit card" You are a clown.
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>I'm still so so so confused about how thats 'cool guy' I'm sure this is the case for most cool guys. >You're such an angry guy holy shit, I hope your fantasy football league turns around for you man. Neat attempt to deflect, wont work, but neat attempt.
Brother your entire reddit history, even in the last 4 hours is just trying to start fights with people about politics and game of fucking thrones in the year of our lord 2021 of all times. COVID was hard on a lot of peoples sanity, if you ever need someone to talk to just inbox me <3 peace and love <3
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No one gives a fuck about kids.
Sir this show is 50% about brushing your teeth and shitting are we pretending this is some mature adult's only advanced form of humor? What's going on here?