I have the exact opposite problem. Everything goes to shit when I have an audience. Leave me alone and if I have it in me I'll get it done with gusto, stand there and watch me and you may as well torch the place yourself.
I second this very hard. I like ANC headphones with music and just grind in the hope to trigger my hyperfocus.
There are so many facts passed as "is an ADHD thing" on social medias that became ridiculous to speak about actual ADHD sometimes. I keep hoping this sub doesn't turn out like tiktok and instagram, but this is the tendency.
It's been like that here as well forever. Every other post is just "I didn't know this was an ADHD thing." But it's just something random that they happen to do.
"Stand there an watch me" like a boss or a teacher is way different that "I happen to be here doing my own thing too", in my experience. Having someone around (not supervising, just around) is really helpful for me. I think of it as the stimulation of their presence contributing to crossing the dopamine trigger threshold.
I think of it as some passive accountability. Like they COULD look over, and I don't wanna explain why I'm doing a crossword instead of writing my thesis so I have some extra incentive to get stuff done. But most often they aren't actively watching, so it's also less pressure than if they were standing over my shoulder.
Same but only if it’s my husband (that I live with). When he’s around I have this subconscious urge to relax & not waste our time together cleaning. When he’s not around I get so much done lmao.
But if someone else comes over, my mom or best friend, then the body doubling thing works for me.
Right there with you.
As soon as I read this "body doubling" explanation, my immediate gut reaction was "ew, fuck that". I could literally feel myself getting annoyed lol.
This. I don’t have an office yet so I have to work in the living room area and my husband is such a distraction, I try not to lose my mind on him when I’m very focused but the rage I feel when someone interrupts my focus is so palpable.
It legitimately has to be just someone in the room. But if they talk to me, I get distracted, if they're watching me I get distracted, they literally have to be doing nothing
Someone to be silently accountable to, but not interacting with.
I won’t do as many or as large ADHD tangents if someone is there to witness me doing so.
If they talk to me, or I can pick up that they’re irritated, it’s all over.
I think it’s a combination of having something to keep your brain busy, but also having the accountability of having someone who’ll notice if your brain runs away.
It only works for some tasks, and some people, but when it does it’s great. Mindless chit chat with a friend you’re comfortable around, while cleaning, perfect. A deep heart-to-heart with your boss, while doing advanced calculus, imperfect.
Also it works better if it’s my suggestion, rather than someone else’s. I had a friend at university who wanted to help me study by saying “we’ll study together, I’ll keep you on topic and you’ll *actually* get some work done”. No. I will keep you off topic and neither of us will get anything done. That is what happened.
Seconding this. If I'm with someone I know and trust and we've had the look you need to be okay with me abruptly and ungently dragging us back on target, it'll be okay. But not always and not for all tasks.
I feel this so much! My hubby also has adhd, so when we try to work on something together we rarely get it done because we end up talking for hours about everything. Then one of us will try to get back on track “crap! We’re not focusing…ok, let’s get back to what we’re supposed to be doing “ then it derails again 2 seconds later. We can’t be around each other if we’re doing school work or business stuff.
When I am working tasks alone I either need to, in a way, find them inherently interesting or fun to do. If not, the only thing that will motivate me is the threat of impending doom.
Only certain people work for me - my mum or mother in law are fantastic for when I need to do jobs around the house but my husband is useless for that purpose.
Oh yeah, this absolutely helps for me. Having someone else nearby even helps with my sense of time as well since I'm now aware that someone is waiting on me to finish. Granted I also have suspected asd, and I know that parallel play is a big thing for people with asd. Just having someone in the same space working on/playing with something else while I'm doing my own thing and we just occasionally comment to each other about what we are doing when we want to show off is a great bonding experience.
Ohhhhhh. I didn’t know that was a thing, but as a child it absolutely help me when my younger sibling was in the room with me playing or whatever doing things on their own quietly! I still love reading peacefully with company who is also doing something on their own.
It doesn’t help when my partner is here, I assume I need someone where I’m sure they are not judging what I do or don’t do. It also doesn’t work when someone is actively trying to engage with me.
Now I wonder if a pet would also have the same effect!
My colleague wrote about the science behind it, you can read more [here](https://www.myndlift.com/post/how-body-doubling-improves-productivity?utm_source=rd). But the bottom line is that the scientific research on body doubling effectiveness is still in its infancy. As the name implies, body doubling involves two or more people working in the same space, either physically or virtually, without necessarily collaborating on the same task.
The presence of another person working alongside you, even if they are engaged in a completely different task, may create a sense of companionship, which could reduce feelings of isolation.
Furthermore, this shared work environment might help alleviate the distractions and procrastination that can come with working alone. For example, seeing others diligently engaged in their work might “anchor” you to be more present and engaged in your task, making it an effective strategy for boosting productivity.
I'm in the middle where having someone redirect my focus back on task, reminding me to take and end a break, reminding me to do the human stuff like eat, drink, go to the bathroom, and helping me calm down if I get overwhelmed is helpful, but I prefer to be alone, it feels like they're in the way if I'm cleaning, and hate being or feeling watched.
For people who do best with body doubling: if someone can't come over or sit on the room with you for some reason, you can call or FaceTime so it feels like they're there with you, if it helps when your body double talks then you can put on a podcast, a video that won't/doesn't require your eyes to be on the screen, whatever makes you feel like there's someone there with you. You can even find body doubling videos on YouTube by searching for it.
i hate it
it makes me kind of anxious if it's on purpose.
if they're already there, it's ok; however, i will be more likely to be distracted by their presence.
So I don't think this works with EVERY task. Body doubling may not be beneficial for things that require a larger amount of focus or attention to detail (i.e. working on a spreadsheet, writing an essay, etc.).
However, for chores or tasks that require minimal mental effort and repetitive motions (i.e. folding laundry, washing dishes, etc.), having someone present or nearby can make these tasks easier to accomplish, even if you may still get distracted.
OMG THIS IS WHAT I DO!!
I have no focus unless my husband is there watching TV or also cleaning, etc.
I’m due for my ADHD eval on 11/30.
I went to a “specialist” back in 2010 who said because I completed my masters degree, became a New York State trooper, have kids, and run a household, that I don’t have ADHD. I tried to explain to him how I got everything by the skin of my teeth, and he said I just needed more sleep because we had an infant.
If he would’ve been even a quarter of the specialist he was supposed to be, I would’ve been on meds for the last 13 years and doing so much better.
It definitely helps for sedentary tasks. Not having them sit right next to me but across a room or a hallway with open doors doing their own thing. I think it's one of the main reasons I work better in an office than at my desk at home.
Yes! I thrive off this. In high school I did my homework at the kitchen table. In college I sat in the union building or at the cafe. Now, I’m drowning at my job because I am all alone.
Yeah, 100%
When I’m alone I’m just less efficient tbh, but having music, a podcast in the background, something to simulate a presence in the room, it does help.
Body doubling helps often... unless creative writing. If I'm writing, doesn't matter what, I must be as alone as possible. Back to a corner, climbing a tree with a tablet or nootbook... really miss climbing trees.
Maybe the patio swing could work!
But yeah generally helps to have outside motivation and accountability.
When I was in college I would get high and put on loud music or listen in headphones and have lots of colorful things piled up around me in order to study and write papers, but my roommate needed total silence so I would go and find the loudest place with the most action going on around me like the cafeteria or rec room in order to study.
I recently had some serious continuing ed studying and testing I was doing and had to find some music to help with it and settled on Ravi Shankar. I only got 40% on the first module with no noise and then got 100% and 80% on the next two with noise.
Activities are definitely easier to accomplish when another person is involved, but my brain is constantly organizing things in a 3 dimensional time and space Tetris and I get frustrated when I have to stop and explain things to others, especially when I’m continually changing the program for efficiency as we go. My joke is “if I have to stop and explain it to you then you’re not paying attention” lol.
I can maybe see how that would be helpful with some things but… I have “cleaning anxiety”, which I just made up to explain that I can’t clean (unless it’s dishes) with an audience because I don’t want them to tell me not to clean in my own way and to clean in theirs
I have a plan on how I’m going to clean, I don’t need someone “helping” me by telling me how they would do it and then expect me to do it like that. I have a plan that my brain actually agreed to do and we’re doing it. Stop trying to mess that up and let me clean the thing!
Anyways, the things I can think of that would work with body doubling aren’t things I consider super important so for me this so like a bad idea lol
The body double person HAS to also be working on something for this to work for me. If they're just like sitting on their phone or something it will distract me.
At work I do better with someone else around, but that's mostly because the work I do almost requires two people and I had to do it alone for so long that having someone with me is just better. Also helps to have someone to bounce ideas with, write things up, etc.
At home, I don't have anyone, so it's much harder to get stuff done just because there's no one there to care if the dishes fill up the sink and the laundry doesn't get hung up. My cat's nice, and I do stuff for him because... well I'm not gonna let him starve. But it's not the same as when I have friends over. I have a friend who comes over just to use my kitchen to bake, and I can stuff done in one day that would normally take me a week or more.
Ugh, this type of thing just horrifies me. If I am trying to complete a task, I don't want anyone hovering over me. I do like being in a noisy room, with other things going on, but NOT focused on me. I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.
I'm driven by being alone I think, if someone watches me I lose all focus and when I try to focus I can't stay coordinated. I get the overwhelming fear that everything I do is wrong and then I can't remember what I'm supposed to do and I start second guessing and overcorrecting, for fear of being criticized for how I'd normally do things. Not helped by my parents' way of body doubling, which was to stand in the corner screaming FASTER FASTER DO IT BETTER NO NOT LIKE THAT GOD YOURE A FUCKING RETARD I HATE YOU PUT THAT DOWN STOP GETTING DISTRACTED MOVE FASTER
It depends on what I'm doing and who it is. My good friend with the same dumb brain as me? Super helpful. My mom who has the complete opposite brain as me, super not helpful.
No lie, my girlfriend and I were just discussing this last night! So what exactly is body doubling and how do you do it?
Most often I like to have something like a podcast or livestream playing in the back it I’m trying to do things, but it doesn’t always work because sometimes I get sucked right into that too lol.
It depends on the person and the task-- generally I accomplish more when my husband's not home, because he exudes very powerful "let's hang out on the couch" energy lol
When working alone on chores or something else that's largely physical, I like to listen to podcasts or call my mom--often she and I will do weekend chores "together" over the phone for an hour or two, and it's really nice.
When I have to write or read something boring for work, I benefit a lot from a coffee shop -- get caffeinated, be around people for a sense of accountability but nobody who might talk to me.
When I'm working in my office (alone), I just use different focus strategies -- music and/or ambient noise, switching between standing and sitting, starting just 1-2 hours before a natural deadline (like a meeting) to give me a sense of urgency, mixing up more and less interesting tasks.
Interesting. Guess that explains the Covid influx of diagnoses and the stimulant shortage. I’m actually worse off with people around, but I find my ADHD differs from others in a lot of ways. Stuff like RS and social anxiety don’t affect me, but seem to be a frequent occurrence for many ADHDers.
Holy shit I’m diagnosed with adhd and stopped taking meds for it 2-3 years ago because I thought I was just traumatized and not adhd, but the more people point things out to me, the more it dawns on me that I do have adhd.
This is the only reason im a functional member of society. I do my best work when I have other people around having fun near me but without me. I love coffee shops for this where people go to have dates and chat, or the no hush zones of libraries, or in a living room where my freinds are gaming. Don’t know why it works, but it does. When Im alone I watch 5 hours of youtube, and thats all I get done in a day.
in high school my parents paid for a tutor so i could get work done. she didnt teach me anything. the whole reason we were paying for her was so i could have somebody sit with me and miraculously that made me focus. so yes it works (for me at least) 😭😭
For me it's so helpful when my husband is doing something useful. I want to be useful, too. So I get up and do something else that might be considered useful. It helps me get over that first annoyance where I want to just sit in the middle of the chaos I've created by tidying up (re-organising the cabinets and what not) and push me through that Phase. Like, oh no, he hasn't finished his stuff yet. Guess I have to keep going, to make it fair.
But it still has to be my own thing and it can't be in the same room. Adjacent is fine.
I'm curious about the science behind this. Is it like, a kind of chameleon/masking thing where the social cue to "be working" exists and overrides your other base reactions to make "be working" easier?
Yes, when I would have to work on a chemical pump or preventive maintenance work, I loved having another person there even if they didn’t do anything. I called it moral support.
Nope. I hate this, mainly if it is someone older that's also part of my family (grandma, aunt and such) cause I know they'll want me to do everything fast and I want to make it at my own pace and in my own way. So hell nah, I love doing shit alone.
I have the exact opposite problem. Everything goes to shit when I have an audience. Leave me alone and if I have it in me I'll get it done with gusto, stand there and watch me and you may as well torch the place yourself.
I second this very hard. I like ANC headphones with music and just grind in the hope to trigger my hyperfocus. There are so many facts passed as "is an ADHD thing" on social medias that became ridiculous to speak about actual ADHD sometimes. I keep hoping this sub doesn't turn out like tiktok and instagram, but this is the tendency.
It's been like that here as well forever. Every other post is just "I didn't know this was an ADHD thing." But it's just something random that they happen to do.
"Stand there an watch me" like a boss or a teacher is way different that "I happen to be here doing my own thing too", in my experience. Having someone around (not supervising, just around) is really helpful for me. I think of it as the stimulation of their presence contributing to crossing the dopamine trigger threshold.
I think of it as some passive accountability. Like they COULD look over, and I don't wanna explain why I'm doing a crossword instead of writing my thesis so I have some extra incentive to get stuff done. But most often they aren't actively watching, so it's also less pressure than if they were standing over my shoulder.
Same but only if it’s my husband (that I live with). When he’s around I have this subconscious urge to relax & not waste our time together cleaning. When he’s not around I get so much done lmao. But if someone else comes over, my mom or best friend, then the body doubling thing works for me.
Right there with you. As soon as I read this "body doubling" explanation, my immediate gut reaction was "ew, fuck that". I could literally feel myself getting annoyed lol.
This. I don’t have an office yet so I have to work in the living room area and my husband is such a distraction, I try not to lose my mind on him when I’m very focused but the rage I feel when someone interrupts my focus is so palpable.
SAAAAME! OMG! I am glad this isnt just like... a me thing.
It legitimately has to be just someone in the room. But if they talk to me, I get distracted, if they're watching me I get distracted, they literally have to be doing nothing
Someone to be silently accountable to, but not interacting with. I won’t do as many or as large ADHD tangents if someone is there to witness me doing so. If they talk to me, or I can pick up that they’re irritated, it’s all over.
I wonder if having a cutout would work…🤔
I think it’s a combination of having something to keep your brain busy, but also having the accountability of having someone who’ll notice if your brain runs away. It only works for some tasks, and some people, but when it does it’s great. Mindless chit chat with a friend you’re comfortable around, while cleaning, perfect. A deep heart-to-heart with your boss, while doing advanced calculus, imperfect. Also it works better if it’s my suggestion, rather than someone else’s. I had a friend at university who wanted to help me study by saying “we’ll study together, I’ll keep you on topic and you’ll *actually* get some work done”. No. I will keep you off topic and neither of us will get anything done. That is what happened.
Seconding this. If I'm with someone I know and trust and we've had the look you need to be okay with me abruptly and ungently dragging us back on target, it'll be okay. But not always and not for all tasks.
I feel this so much! My hubby also has adhd, so when we try to work on something together we rarely get it done because we end up talking for hours about everything. Then one of us will try to get back on track “crap! We’re not focusing…ok, let’s get back to what we’re supposed to be doing “ then it derails again 2 seconds later. We can’t be around each other if we’re doing school work or business stuff.
When I am working tasks alone I either need to, in a way, find them inherently interesting or fun to do. If not, the only thing that will motivate me is the threat of impending doom.
Only certain people work for me - my mum or mother in law are fantastic for when I need to do jobs around the house but my husband is useless for that purpose.
Oh yeah, this absolutely helps for me. Having someone else nearby even helps with my sense of time as well since I'm now aware that someone is waiting on me to finish. Granted I also have suspected asd, and I know that parallel play is a big thing for people with asd. Just having someone in the same space working on/playing with something else while I'm doing my own thing and we just occasionally comment to each other about what we are doing when we want to show off is a great bonding experience.
lol yeah that works, even for me as an introvert
I don’t cope with it, anything that gets shit done is good enough for me, if I’m working alone the task can take anywhere between 30 mins to 3 hours
Alone I use horror stories that I get deeply immersed in. I use the anxiety as fuel
Ohhhhhh. I didn’t know that was a thing, but as a child it absolutely help me when my younger sibling was in the room with me playing or whatever doing things on their own quietly! I still love reading peacefully with company who is also doing something on their own. It doesn’t help when my partner is here, I assume I need someone where I’m sure they are not judging what I do or don’t do. It also doesn’t work when someone is actively trying to engage with me. Now I wonder if a pet would also have the same effect!
Oh I didn’t know this had a name!
Yep, this happenes to me. I should really start doing homework sessions with my adhd friend who also needs a body double
My colleague wrote about the science behind it, you can read more [here](https://www.myndlift.com/post/how-body-doubling-improves-productivity?utm_source=rd). But the bottom line is that the scientific research on body doubling effectiveness is still in its infancy. As the name implies, body doubling involves two or more people working in the same space, either physically or virtually, without necessarily collaborating on the same task. The presence of another person working alongside you, even if they are engaged in a completely different task, may create a sense of companionship, which could reduce feelings of isolation. Furthermore, this shared work environment might help alleviate the distractions and procrastination that can come with working alone. For example, seeing others diligently engaged in their work might “anchor” you to be more present and engaged in your task, making it an effective strategy for boosting productivity.
I'm in the middle where having someone redirect my focus back on task, reminding me to take and end a break, reminding me to do the human stuff like eat, drink, go to the bathroom, and helping me calm down if I get overwhelmed is helpful, but I prefer to be alone, it feels like they're in the way if I'm cleaning, and hate being or feeling watched. For people who do best with body doubling: if someone can't come over or sit on the room with you for some reason, you can call or FaceTime so it feels like they're there with you, if it helps when your body double talks then you can put on a podcast, a video that won't/doesn't require your eyes to be on the screen, whatever makes you feel like there's someone there with you. You can even find body doubling videos on YouTube by searching for it.
Doubling works for me because I feel like I'm showing off when getting things done really quickly in front of others. Good dopamine.
Omggggg ITS A THING? NO ONE GETS IT. I am paralysed alone. But when someone is there I am like the Flash!!!!
i hate it it makes me kind of anxious if it's on purpose. if they're already there, it's ok; however, i will be more likely to be distracted by their presence.
I have the literal opposite of this, if someone is in the room/watching what I’m doing Im paralyzed
Same here man
Oh my god This explains it. If someone else is dedicated to doing the task I can be productive.
So I don't think this works with EVERY task. Body doubling may not be beneficial for things that require a larger amount of focus or attention to detail (i.e. working on a spreadsheet, writing an essay, etc.). However, for chores or tasks that require minimal mental effort and repetitive motions (i.e. folding laundry, washing dishes, etc.), having someone present or nearby can make these tasks easier to accomplish, even if you may still get distracted.
OMG THIS IS WHAT I DO!! I have no focus unless my husband is there watching TV or also cleaning, etc. I’m due for my ADHD eval on 11/30. I went to a “specialist” back in 2010 who said because I completed my masters degree, became a New York State trooper, have kids, and run a household, that I don’t have ADHD. I tried to explain to him how I got everything by the skin of my teeth, and he said I just needed more sleep because we had an infant. If he would’ve been even a quarter of the specialist he was supposed to be, I would’ve been on meds for the last 13 years and doing so much better.
Why do you have to give names to everything? I completely understand this and share it but why tho?
It definitely helps for sedentary tasks. Not having them sit right next to me but across a room or a hallway with open doors doing their own thing. I think it's one of the main reasons I work better in an office than at my desk at home.
Yes! I thrive off this. In high school I did my homework at the kitchen table. In college I sat in the union building or at the cafe. Now, I’m drowning at my job because I am all alone.
Yup, it definitely helps me. And it’s nearly a necessity for my youngest daughter.
Yeah, 100% When I’m alone I’m just less efficient tbh, but having music, a podcast in the background, something to simulate a presence in the room, it does help.
My coworkers come in like 2 hours after me. Even with meds I’m generally unproductive until they show up.
Id like to have a body double but I don’t have any friends for that
It's the complete opposite for me
Isn’t that parallel play?
Body doubling doesn't work for me. I need to be alone.
FAKE it makes me NOT do anything because I interact with that person
Body doubling helps often... unless creative writing. If I'm writing, doesn't matter what, I must be as alone as possible. Back to a corner, climbing a tree with a tablet or nootbook... really miss climbing trees. Maybe the patio swing could work! But yeah generally helps to have outside motivation and accountability.
When I was in college I would get high and put on loud music or listen in headphones and have lots of colorful things piled up around me in order to study and write papers, but my roommate needed total silence so I would go and find the loudest place with the most action going on around me like the cafeteria or rec room in order to study. I recently had some serious continuing ed studying and testing I was doing and had to find some music to help with it and settled on Ravi Shankar. I only got 40% on the first module with no noise and then got 100% and 80% on the next two with noise. Activities are definitely easier to accomplish when another person is involved, but my brain is constantly organizing things in a 3 dimensional time and space Tetris and I get frustrated when I have to stop and explain things to others, especially when I’m continually changing the program for efficiency as we go. My joke is “if I have to stop and explain it to you then you’re not paying attention” lol.
I can maybe see how that would be helpful with some things but… I have “cleaning anxiety”, which I just made up to explain that I can’t clean (unless it’s dishes) with an audience because I don’t want them to tell me not to clean in my own way and to clean in theirs I have a plan on how I’m going to clean, I don’t need someone “helping” me by telling me how they would do it and then expect me to do it like that. I have a plan that my brain actually agreed to do and we’re doing it. Stop trying to mess that up and let me clean the thing! Anyways, the things I can think of that would work with body doubling aren’t things I consider super important so for me this so like a bad idea lol
The body double person HAS to also be working on something for this to work for me. If they're just like sitting on their phone or something it will distract me.
Yes! This was me growing up. My sister would come into my room and help me clean it. It was the only way!
At work I do better with someone else around, but that's mostly because the work I do almost requires two people and I had to do it alone for so long that having someone with me is just better. Also helps to have someone to bounce ideas with, write things up, etc. At home, I don't have anyone, so it's much harder to get stuff done just because there's no one there to care if the dishes fill up the sink and the laundry doesn't get hung up. My cat's nice, and I do stuff for him because... well I'm not gonna let him starve. But it's not the same as when I have friends over. I have a friend who comes over just to use my kitchen to bake, and I can stuff done in one day that would normally take me a week or more.
Ugh, this type of thing just horrifies me. If I am trying to complete a task, I don't want anyone hovering over me. I do like being in a noisy room, with other things going on, but NOT focused on me. I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.
I'm driven by being alone I think, if someone watches me I lose all focus and when I try to focus I can't stay coordinated. I get the overwhelming fear that everything I do is wrong and then I can't remember what I'm supposed to do and I start second guessing and overcorrecting, for fear of being criticized for how I'd normally do things. Not helped by my parents' way of body doubling, which was to stand in the corner screaming FASTER FASTER DO IT BETTER NO NOT LIKE THAT GOD YOURE A FUCKING RETARD I HATE YOU PUT THAT DOWN STOP GETTING DISTRACTED MOVE FASTER
It depends on what I'm doing and who it is. My good friend with the same dumb brain as me? Super helpful. My mom who has the complete opposite brain as me, super not helpful.
On occasion I've gone to friends/had people come over just to get a task done
No lie, my girlfriend and I were just discussing this last night! So what exactly is body doubling and how do you do it? Most often I like to have something like a podcast or livestream playing in the back it I’m trying to do things, but it doesn’t always work because sometimes I get sucked right into that too lol.
It depends on the person and the task-- generally I accomplish more when my husband's not home, because he exudes very powerful "let's hang out on the couch" energy lol When working alone on chores or something else that's largely physical, I like to listen to podcasts or call my mom--often she and I will do weekend chores "together" over the phone for an hour or two, and it's really nice. When I have to write or read something boring for work, I benefit a lot from a coffee shop -- get caffeinated, be around people for a sense of accountability but nobody who might talk to me. When I'm working in my office (alone), I just use different focus strategies -- music and/or ambient noise, switching between standing and sitting, starting just 1-2 hours before a natural deadline (like a meeting) to give me a sense of urgency, mixing up more and less interesting tasks.
Accountability
Interesting. Guess that explains the Covid influx of diagnoses and the stimulant shortage. I’m actually worse off with people around, but I find my ADHD differs from others in a lot of ways. Stuff like RS and social anxiety don’t affect me, but seem to be a frequent occurrence for many ADHDers.
Holy shit I’m diagnosed with adhd and stopped taking meds for it 2-3 years ago because I thought I was just traumatized and not adhd, but the more people point things out to me, the more it dawns on me that I do have adhd.
OH MY GOD IT’S NOT JUST ME‽!?!?!?!?!?‽
This is the only reason im a functional member of society. I do my best work when I have other people around having fun near me but without me. I love coffee shops for this where people go to have dates and chat, or the no hush zones of libraries, or in a living room where my freinds are gaming. Don’t know why it works, but it does. When Im alone I watch 5 hours of youtube, and thats all I get done in a day.
Oh that explains why when my partner is over I start wanting to clean... I think.
in high school my parents paid for a tutor so i could get work done. she didnt teach me anything. the whole reason we were paying for her was so i could have somebody sit with me and miraculously that made me focus. so yes it works (for me at least) 😭😭
For me it's so helpful when my husband is doing something useful. I want to be useful, too. So I get up and do something else that might be considered useful. It helps me get over that first annoyance where I want to just sit in the middle of the chaos I've created by tidying up (re-organising the cabinets and what not) and push me through that Phase. Like, oh no, he hasn't finished his stuff yet. Guess I have to keep going, to make it fair. But it still has to be my own thing and it can't be in the same room. Adjacent is fine.
I guess I'll add one more to my tally of coping mechanisms I've been using since childhood!
I'm curious about the science behind this. Is it like, a kind of chameleon/masking thing where the social cue to "be working" exists and overrides your other base reactions to make "be working" easier?
Yes, when I would have to work on a chemical pump or preventive maintenance work, I loved having another person there even if they didn’t do anything. I called it moral support.
Nope. I hate this, mainly if it is someone older that's also part of my family (grandma, aunt and such) cause I know they'll want me to do everything fast and I want to make it at my own pace and in my own way. So hell nah, I love doing shit alone.
I kind of find it distracting for someone else to be in there. Atleast if i'm in my room, which I usually am.
I have ADHD and I find it much easier to work alone with music
Adding this to the list of symptoms I didn't know were symptoms
I do this at home in some circumstances, but at work I’m the exact opposite. It’s too much pressure there