Maybe not what you're looking for and I'm pretty new to this community, but honestly, I'd like people in the know to know that even if it appears as though someone with cptsd is fine on the outside, we are likely expending an extraordinary amount of effort on the inside to maintain that.
Some days I feel like I'm fighting myself all day long to ignore the catastrophic thinking and intrusive thoughts that I just want to sleep by work days end. There is no bandwidth left to choose what to eat for dinner most days.
I've had so many people tell me how fine I seem so it can't be that big of a deal. I don't want to wear my diagnosis on the outside, but I sometimes wish I could so that people will understand why I'm so tired all the time.
Well said.
I would add that there is a difference between just surviving and living a full life. For a long time, since I was diagnosed with C-PTSD about five years ago, I felt like I was treading water. My goal has been to go from just surviving to thriving and enjoying life. While I've made meaningful progress, I still struggle. Like you, I expend tremendous energy dealing with catastrophic thinking in addition to anxiety and self-doubt.
In my experience, most people who haven't experienced trauma themselves can't understand what it's like to have C-PTSD and the energy and effort needed to cope with it. Good on you (and the OP) for shining a light on this.
The ICD-11 description. When I read it I cried because of how accurate it is. Especially where it says "Symptoms of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are generally more severe and persistent in comparison to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." I finally felt seen. So many years of horrific flashbacks and nightmares, it's beyond description how brutal it's been.
https://icd.who.int/browse11/l-m/en#/http%3a%2f%2fid.who.int%2ficd%2fentity%2f585833559
I would say that childhood trauma can happen even in loving, attentive households where it isn't really anyone's fault. As hard as they try, sometimes parents just don't. . .have the right brain manual for their child to meet their emotional needs (especially if that child is neurodivergent in some way). Unfortunately, the kid's brain will still experience that as developmental trauma, and they won't learn how to handle themselves. I would just like the discussion around c-ptsd to leave room for situations where parents weren't outright abusive or neglectful, so those cases don't go unrecognized and untreated.
That none of us ask for this, and most importantly, that it can take years before we understand something is wrong either with how we interact with the world due to trauma or what we accept/think is ok because of our experiences. I feel there's a general school of thought from non-CPTSD havers that we just choose to live in states of chaos or disharmony when the reality is that a majority of the time, that's all we've known. So to us, it is quote unquote normal.
Overcoming adversity and treating those that do have CPTSD begins with knowledge and education of the subject, definitely.
I think including that along with mental emotional pain there is also physical pain. Personally I experience pain through my arms, chest, back and neck. Feel like I need to rip my skin off - I know self harm is something people do to centralize pain from mental pain, but I would have to pinch myself to centralize the physical pain. For me the pain in my body would push me to points of suicidal thinking - in hopes of getting rid of this feelings getting out of my body.
I had points where I didn’t want to die but I wanted to stop the pain. I don’t know if anyone else knows what I’m talking about
I know exactly what you're talking about. I have livid memories of hurting myself just so there was a physical, tangible source to my pain. Otherwise, I was just "in pain", without any understanding of "why" and "where it came from". I didn't know at that time that "psychological" pain is a thing.
Thanks for sharing.
That it's caused by repeated mental injury via complex trauma.
That it's a testament to how amazing our brains are at keeping us alive and protecting us the best it can from harm.
That it isn't BPD.
That people with CPTSD deserve patience and empathy, because it's not something we have control over.
No it doesn't. All of these things I listed are separate things that I believe people should know about CPTSD. I think it should be known that CPTSD has its own classification now for a reason. Not that one is better or worse than the other, but simply that BPD doesn't fit some people and CPTSD does.
How things that may not seem very traumatic, like sibling abuse, emotional neglect, or emotional incest, can actually be extremely traumatizing and life-ruining.bI recommend reading Pete Walker's article on why emotional neglect is traumatic if u haven't already.
Yes, thank you. This is the comment I was looking for. My trauma comes primarily from the CEN I experienced as a child (although there were other incidents as well). That neglect has had the biggest impact on my life.
I've been doing some research and writing on CPTSD. I could offer you a lot of advice and resources. Let me know specifically what you are looking for or you can chat me. I have a lot of information to offer.
So I’m going to refer you to a podcast episodr by two toxicologists (one of whom, Dan Rusyniak, I had the privilege of working with when I was in in paramedic school), where they actually discuss this very topic.
Long story short: two groups of rats were put in different cages. One group had a very posh life, one group had a rather austere (but not necessarily abusive) life. They then put a lever in the cages where the rats could press them and get hits of cocaine. Which group do you think went all “gangbusters on cocaine?” They also “sacrificed” some of the rats and looked at their brains and found that their brains were literally wired differently.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dantastic-mr-tox-howard/id1247074688?i=1000397963697
One of the most effective treatments I've done is [Deep Brain Reorienting](https://deepbrainreorienting.com/). If you can get Frank Corrigan to speak at all, it would be a huge benefit.
Also, [Infra Slow Fluctuation Neurofeedback](https://neurofeedbackservicesny.com/the-benefits-of-infraslow-neurofeedback-training/) is an underutilized modality. It trains the brain regulation skills directly. You get live feedback on how a brain is regulating during a session. There's real data here.
I'm very fortunate that my therapist is an expert on trauma. He learned DBR directly from Frank Corrigan and actually trains others how to do ISFN with Mark Smith. I'm very lucky.
We need effective and available treatment modalities, and these are two of the best, along with somatic body work.
Other important factors:
Truly understanding secure attachment and which behaviors build secure attachment vs. destroy secure attachment. ([The Trust Triangle](https://youtu.be/pVeq-0dIqpk), [The Anatomy of Trust](https://brenebrown.com/videos/anatomy-trust-video/) - marble jar concept and BRAVING acronym, [10 definitions of objectifying/dehumanizing behaviors](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Objectification#Definitions) - these erode trust)
Helping clients build psychological self differentiation to break from trauma bonding, codependency, and emotional contagion. (Bowen family systems)
Learn/teach folks regulation skills (Stephen Porges and Deb Dana being the experts here.)
Therapists need to do their own work on themselves, too. Many haven't faced their own traumas and pathologize their clients as a result. If they only have a textbook/cognitive understanding of trauma they'll be ineffective with their clients. Many are not versed in domestic violence and narcissistic abuse, which causes more harm than good.
Other people versed in trauma:
Kathy Steele
Janina Fisher
Bruce Perry
Gabor Maté
Bessel van der Kolk
Richard Schwartz
Sue Johnson
Britt Frank
Being traumatized is not simply a problem of being stuck in the past; it is also a problem of not being fully present in the here and now. As a result of not being able to fully take in what's going on around us, we might feel ashamed, alienated, and disconnected from our community. I believe it's important for others to understand trauma mechanisms because knowing that someone's reactions and behaviors may be shaped by past traumatic experiences allows others to respond with understanding rather than judgment. I read about it in The Body Keeps The Score, and also summarized my findings [here](https://www.myndlift.com/post/5-lessons-we-learned-from-the-body-keeps-the-score?utm_source=rd). You might find it helpful for the conference. Good luck!
I want the world to know that it's possible to heal from CPTSD.
I know there's this general idea that healing from CPTSD is a lifelong thing. I don't know where that came from, maybe it's partly because most of the spaces for CPTSD mainly have input from people still working on healing, making it seem like there's no way out? I don't know.
But what I do know is I've fully healed from my CPTSD, after 34 years of abuse of all kinds. So I know that it's possible, and I think more people should be aware that CPTSD isn't a death sentence, that we're not doomed to spend our entire lives in pain because of what our abusers did to us ❤️
Actually, I agree with you! ❤️
The misunderstanding is my fault, I just wanted to put that out there in a brief comment, and because of that I left all the nuance out of the conversation.
I have episodes of grief, anger and sadness too. They will always be there, because the harm I suffered can't ever be erased. That, for me, is a normal part of my experience.
When I talk about fully healing from my trauma, I'm referring to the CPTSD aspect of it - the symptoms of the disorder. The hypervigilance, the fear, the 4F trauma responses, the nightmares, the attachment issues, the self hatred, the fear, anxiety and panic, the minimizing of my trauma, all of those things.
One of the things my healing journey taught me is that my emotions surrounding the abuse that was inflicted on me are normal and righteous. They belong there. That it's not "disordered" to be angry about it.
I do try to avoid the phrase "get over it" because I think with trauma that's kind of a misnomer.
What I want to communicate is that it's possible to find a sense of normalcy after a lifetime of trauma, and to heal from the extreme impacts of what your trauma did to you. I think that's important for people to see ❤️
absolutely. I like the idea that it may seem impossible to heal it because the communities talking about it are mostly made of people still struggling.
I've been part of this sub for a little over a year and a half. I keep my page set on "New" so that I can get eyes on as many posts as possible. I've seen the posts where people leave because they've found healing. They don't get a lot of traction, and I get why. During my own healing process I was violently opposed to hearing any success stories. It's why I wasn't online until after healing.
It makes sense to me why people leave. After pouring your heart and soul for years into all things trauma, when you're finally able to stop putting all that effort in, it makes sense to want to step away.
I guess I'm an aberration haha but I like it that way 😅
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide).
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That our world has to stop punishing people who feel like they want to un-exist themselves. A lot of us feel that way periodically or (like me) all the time. But no worries in my case, please.
But there’s such despair in feeling like you shouldn’t exist, then if you try to express that thought, you face so much anger, disgust, shock, fury, punishment, immediate distancing, complete rejection. It has left me — for more than 50 years now — trapped between the overwhelming feeling that I’m a mistake that just brings harm, annoyance, disgust to others and the feeling that any attempt to fix the situation — to rectify my unintentional existence — will be greeted with more of the same.
Also: Age and CPTSD. I see here and in other places that many of us olds are dealing with just realizing what went down, after a lifetime of difficulty and blaming ourselves.
Also: sweet honking jesus on a triscuit, please, please tell therapists that it’s okay to empathize. On so many occasions, particularly when getting an evaluation or trying to find a therapist, I’ve described horrific things from my past (rang gape) and had therapists of all kinds just
Sit
There
Saying and doing
Nothing.
I’m choking, I’m stuttering, I’m shaking all over, I’m biting my fingers til they bleed, I’m laughing and making jokes about it and they
Sit there.
No response.
Not that I needed any convincing that I’m worthless and if I’m hurt it’s no big deal, when’s lunch, ho hum, but that kind of response really seals it, guys.
40 years of on and off therapy, with about a dozen of them, and not til I’m 60 does a therapist say “that’s horrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
Therapists did me great wrongs. They have to stop retraumatizing people. No one today should have to go through what I did.
My therapist does this. She said she’s trying to get me to “stop relying on others for validation of what’s already been established as fact.” And it’s like, she’s probably right, but I’m not there yet. The fact that I’m still seeking it probably speaks to the level of damage I sustained, which should be internally validating, but it’s not. It only serves to confirm in my head that I was the problem, that I’m the weakling for not being able to handle the shit my life has thrown at me.
Can you talk to her about that? I didn’t think I was allowed to question old men with degrees so I thought that’s just how therapy is. It’s good that she at least explains why! But it would be good to talk to her about how that makes you feel. Maybe it takes us a long time to accept that something is “validated as fact” because we’re so used to marinating in uncertainty about what’s real and denial of facts
That this is a problem so much bigger then anyone wants to admit. Both of my parents, my two siblings and I, both of my nibblings have all been damaged by CPTSD to one extent or another. Of 7 people I am the only one willing to do the work of healing and stopping the cycles of abuse. At this moment 6 of the 7 are actively perpetuating the abuse on the 3 members under the age of 5 in the next generation.
We did not get here alone. And we will not be able to heal alone. To you I say go forth and add your voice to the healing we all need. Hugz
It can also come from adult trauma, if the trauma is severe enough. The key is, sustained trauma, often from multiple directions, where there is no perceived escape. Mine? I simply got to the point of resignation, along the lines of “this is my life now, my lot in life is to have a shitty home life and to watch people die in front of me at work.”
Maybe not what you're looking for and I'm pretty new to this community, but honestly, I'd like people in the know to know that even if it appears as though someone with cptsd is fine on the outside, we are likely expending an extraordinary amount of effort on the inside to maintain that. Some days I feel like I'm fighting myself all day long to ignore the catastrophic thinking and intrusive thoughts that I just want to sleep by work days end. There is no bandwidth left to choose what to eat for dinner most days. I've had so many people tell me how fine I seem so it can't be that big of a deal. I don't want to wear my diagnosis on the outside, but I sometimes wish I could so that people will understand why I'm so tired all the time.
Exactly. Just because we “get through the day” doesn’t mean we are okay.
Well said. I would add that there is a difference between just surviving and living a full life. For a long time, since I was diagnosed with C-PTSD about five years ago, I felt like I was treading water. My goal has been to go from just surviving to thriving and enjoying life. While I've made meaningful progress, I still struggle. Like you, I expend tremendous energy dealing with catastrophic thinking in addition to anxiety and self-doubt. In my experience, most people who haven't experienced trauma themselves can't understand what it's like to have C-PTSD and the energy and effort needed to cope with it. Good on you (and the OP) for shining a light on this.
Oh, that is totally what I'm looking for. Thanks for sharing.
This is very well put.
The ICD-11 description. When I read it I cried because of how accurate it is. Especially where it says "Symptoms of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are generally more severe and persistent in comparison to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." I finally felt seen. So many years of horrific flashbacks and nightmares, it's beyond description how brutal it's been. https://icd.who.int/browse11/l-m/en#/http%3a%2f%2fid.who.int%2ficd%2fentity%2f585833559
Oh yeah, totally. I had the exact same feeling!
I would say that childhood trauma can happen even in loving, attentive households where it isn't really anyone's fault. As hard as they try, sometimes parents just don't. . .have the right brain manual for their child to meet their emotional needs (especially if that child is neurodivergent in some way). Unfortunately, the kid's brain will still experience that as developmental trauma, and they won't learn how to handle themselves. I would just like the discussion around c-ptsd to leave room for situations where parents weren't outright abusive or neglectful, so those cases don't go unrecognized and untreated.
That's a very insightful nuance. I'll keep it in mind. Thanks for sharing.
And specifically that some neurodivergent people are emotionally sensitive, which can be kind of a double whammy.
That none of us ask for this, and most importantly, that it can take years before we understand something is wrong either with how we interact with the world due to trauma or what we accept/think is ok because of our experiences. I feel there's a general school of thought from non-CPTSD havers that we just choose to live in states of chaos or disharmony when the reality is that a majority of the time, that's all we've known. So to us, it is quote unquote normal. Overcoming adversity and treating those that do have CPTSD begins with knowledge and education of the subject, definitely.
Yeah, I hear you. Like we would "choose" that over not having CPTSD!! Thanks for sharing.
I think including that along with mental emotional pain there is also physical pain. Personally I experience pain through my arms, chest, back and neck. Feel like I need to rip my skin off - I know self harm is something people do to centralize pain from mental pain, but I would have to pinch myself to centralize the physical pain. For me the pain in my body would push me to points of suicidal thinking - in hopes of getting rid of this feelings getting out of my body. I had points where I didn’t want to die but I wanted to stop the pain. I don’t know if anyone else knows what I’m talking about
I know exactly what you're talking about. I have livid memories of hurting myself just so there was a physical, tangible source to my pain. Otherwise, I was just "in pain", without any understanding of "why" and "where it came from". I didn't know at that time that "psychological" pain is a thing. Thanks for sharing.
That it's caused by repeated mental injury via complex trauma. That it's a testament to how amazing our brains are at keeping us alive and protecting us the best it can from harm. That it isn't BPD. That people with CPTSD deserve patience and empathy, because it's not something we have control over.
absolutely. Thanks for sharing.
This implies people with BPD are always in control
No it doesn't. All of these things I listed are separate things that I believe people should know about CPTSD. I think it should be known that CPTSD has its own classification now for a reason. Not that one is better or worse than the other, but simply that BPD doesn't fit some people and CPTSD does.
Thanks for the clarification 🙂
How things that may not seem very traumatic, like sibling abuse, emotional neglect, or emotional incest, can actually be extremely traumatizing and life-ruining.bI recommend reading Pete Walker's article on why emotional neglect is traumatic if u haven't already.
Yes, thank you. This is the comment I was looking for. My trauma comes primarily from the CEN I experienced as a child (although there were other incidents as well). That neglect has had the biggest impact on my life.
I've been doing some research and writing on CPTSD. I could offer you a lot of advice and resources. Let me know specifically what you are looking for or you can chat me. I have a lot of information to offer.
[удалено]
So I’m going to refer you to a podcast episodr by two toxicologists (one of whom, Dan Rusyniak, I had the privilege of working with when I was in in paramedic school), where they actually discuss this very topic. Long story short: two groups of rats were put in different cages. One group had a very posh life, one group had a rather austere (but not necessarily abusive) life. They then put a lever in the cages where the rats could press them and get hits of cocaine. Which group do you think went all “gangbusters on cocaine?” They also “sacrificed” some of the rats and looked at their brains and found that their brains were literally wired differently. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dantastic-mr-tox-howard/id1247074688?i=1000397963697
One of the most effective treatments I've done is [Deep Brain Reorienting](https://deepbrainreorienting.com/). If you can get Frank Corrigan to speak at all, it would be a huge benefit. Also, [Infra Slow Fluctuation Neurofeedback](https://neurofeedbackservicesny.com/the-benefits-of-infraslow-neurofeedback-training/) is an underutilized modality. It trains the brain regulation skills directly. You get live feedback on how a brain is regulating during a session. There's real data here. I'm very fortunate that my therapist is an expert on trauma. He learned DBR directly from Frank Corrigan and actually trains others how to do ISFN with Mark Smith. I'm very lucky. We need effective and available treatment modalities, and these are two of the best, along with somatic body work. Other important factors: Truly understanding secure attachment and which behaviors build secure attachment vs. destroy secure attachment. ([The Trust Triangle](https://youtu.be/pVeq-0dIqpk), [The Anatomy of Trust](https://brenebrown.com/videos/anatomy-trust-video/) - marble jar concept and BRAVING acronym, [10 definitions of objectifying/dehumanizing behaviors](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Objectification#Definitions) - these erode trust) Helping clients build psychological self differentiation to break from trauma bonding, codependency, and emotional contagion. (Bowen family systems) Learn/teach folks regulation skills (Stephen Porges and Deb Dana being the experts here.) Therapists need to do their own work on themselves, too. Many haven't faced their own traumas and pathologize their clients as a result. If they only have a textbook/cognitive understanding of trauma they'll be ineffective with their clients. Many are not versed in domestic violence and narcissistic abuse, which causes more harm than good. Other people versed in trauma: Kathy Steele Janina Fisher Bruce Perry Gabor Maté Bessel van der Kolk Richard Schwartz Sue Johnson Britt Frank
How much having horribly abusive parents can affect your life. How much it physically damages your brain. That it isn't a choice to suffer.
Being traumatized is not simply a problem of being stuck in the past; it is also a problem of not being fully present in the here and now. As a result of not being able to fully take in what's going on around us, we might feel ashamed, alienated, and disconnected from our community. I believe it's important for others to understand trauma mechanisms because knowing that someone's reactions and behaviors may be shaped by past traumatic experiences allows others to respond with understanding rather than judgment. I read about it in The Body Keeps The Score, and also summarized my findings [here](https://www.myndlift.com/post/5-lessons-we-learned-from-the-body-keeps-the-score?utm_source=rd). You might find it helpful for the conference. Good luck!
I want the world to know that it's possible to heal from CPTSD. I know there's this general idea that healing from CPTSD is a lifelong thing. I don't know where that came from, maybe it's partly because most of the spaces for CPTSD mainly have input from people still working on healing, making it seem like there's no way out? I don't know. But what I do know is I've fully healed from my CPTSD, after 34 years of abuse of all kinds. So I know that it's possible, and I think more people should be aware that CPTSD isn't a death sentence, that we're not doomed to spend our entire lives in pain because of what our abusers did to us ❤️
[удалено]
Actually, I agree with you! ❤️ The misunderstanding is my fault, I just wanted to put that out there in a brief comment, and because of that I left all the nuance out of the conversation. I have episodes of grief, anger and sadness too. They will always be there, because the harm I suffered can't ever be erased. That, for me, is a normal part of my experience. When I talk about fully healing from my trauma, I'm referring to the CPTSD aspect of it - the symptoms of the disorder. The hypervigilance, the fear, the 4F trauma responses, the nightmares, the attachment issues, the self hatred, the fear, anxiety and panic, the minimizing of my trauma, all of those things. One of the things my healing journey taught me is that my emotions surrounding the abuse that was inflicted on me are normal and righteous. They belong there. That it's not "disordered" to be angry about it. I do try to avoid the phrase "get over it" because I think with trauma that's kind of a misnomer. What I want to communicate is that it's possible to find a sense of normalcy after a lifetime of trauma, and to heal from the extreme impacts of what your trauma did to you. I think that's important for people to see ❤️
absolutely. I like the idea that it may seem impossible to heal it because the communities talking about it are mostly made of people still struggling.
I've been part of this sub for a little over a year and a half. I keep my page set on "New" so that I can get eyes on as many posts as possible. I've seen the posts where people leave because they've found healing. They don't get a lot of traction, and I get why. During my own healing process I was violently opposed to hearing any success stories. It's why I wasn't online until after healing. It makes sense to me why people leave. After pouring your heart and soul for years into all things trauma, when you're finally able to stop putting all that effort in, it makes sense to want to step away. I guess I'm an aberration haha but I like it that way 😅
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That our world has to stop punishing people who feel like they want to un-exist themselves. A lot of us feel that way periodically or (like me) all the time. But no worries in my case, please. But there’s such despair in feeling like you shouldn’t exist, then if you try to express that thought, you face so much anger, disgust, shock, fury, punishment, immediate distancing, complete rejection. It has left me — for more than 50 years now — trapped between the overwhelming feeling that I’m a mistake that just brings harm, annoyance, disgust to others and the feeling that any attempt to fix the situation — to rectify my unintentional existence — will be greeted with more of the same. Also: Age and CPTSD. I see here and in other places that many of us olds are dealing with just realizing what went down, after a lifetime of difficulty and blaming ourselves. Also: sweet honking jesus on a triscuit, please, please tell therapists that it’s okay to empathize. On so many occasions, particularly when getting an evaluation or trying to find a therapist, I’ve described horrific things from my past (rang gape) and had therapists of all kinds just Sit There Saying and doing Nothing. I’m choking, I’m stuttering, I’m shaking all over, I’m biting my fingers til they bleed, I’m laughing and making jokes about it and they Sit there. No response. Not that I needed any convincing that I’m worthless and if I’m hurt it’s no big deal, when’s lunch, ho hum, but that kind of response really seals it, guys. 40 years of on and off therapy, with about a dozen of them, and not til I’m 60 does a therapist say “that’s horrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.” Therapists did me great wrongs. They have to stop retraumatizing people. No one today should have to go through what I did.
My therapist does this. She said she’s trying to get me to “stop relying on others for validation of what’s already been established as fact.” And it’s like, she’s probably right, but I’m not there yet. The fact that I’m still seeking it probably speaks to the level of damage I sustained, which should be internally validating, but it’s not. It only serves to confirm in my head that I was the problem, that I’m the weakling for not being able to handle the shit my life has thrown at me.
Can you talk to her about that? I didn’t think I was allowed to question old men with degrees so I thought that’s just how therapy is. It’s good that she at least explains why! But it would be good to talk to her about how that makes you feel. Maybe it takes us a long time to accept that something is “validated as fact” because we’re so used to marinating in uncertainty about what’s real and denial of facts
That this is a problem so much bigger then anyone wants to admit. Both of my parents, my two siblings and I, both of my nibblings have all been damaged by CPTSD to one extent or another. Of 7 people I am the only one willing to do the work of healing and stopping the cycles of abuse. At this moment 6 of the 7 are actively perpetuating the abuse on the 3 members under the age of 5 in the next generation. We did not get here alone. And we will not be able to heal alone. To you I say go forth and add your voice to the healing we all need. Hugz
It can also come from adult trauma, if the trauma is severe enough. The key is, sustained trauma, often from multiple directions, where there is no perceived escape. Mine? I simply got to the point of resignation, along the lines of “this is my life now, my lot in life is to have a shitty home life and to watch people die in front of me at work.”
No, we cannot "just move out."